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It's 2008. In three days, family man and Silicon Valley speechwriter Dan Jordan will see his start-up stock vest. He'll cash out with $1.1 million, turn in his frenetic Valley life in for a slower one on the beach with his wife and two children, and finally live the life he's supposed to live. Or so he thinks. Before he can collect his cash and get outta Dodge, all hell breaks loose. Dan is kidnapped by a gang of tiny IT nerds who threaten to get him fired before the options can vest, stalked by a potentially murderous corporate security muscle man, and confronted with the possible disintegration of his marriage, all while his sociopath neighbor, Crazy Larry, threatens to ruin everything. . . .

Side-splittingly funny and full of larger-than-life characters, Cash Out is like Office Space as reimagined by the creators of The Hangover—a sly caper gone outrageously, unforgettably awry.

Topics: Silicon Valley, Screwball Comedy, Satirical, Funny, Kidnapping, Tech Industry, and On the Run

Published: HarperCollins on
ISBN: 9780062127747
List price: $10.99
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I'm looking at the book description and all the blurbs and seeing things like "mercilessly hilarious," "madcap" and "irreverent, surreal, utterly original" and I'm wondering if they read the same book I just finished. I won't say the book is worthless, because it has a few moments and Greg Bardsley can write, but the characters aren't believable and only a couple aren't a waste of space. Unfortunately, characters who aren't a waste of space do not include the protagonist.I know the America's Favorite Home Videos crowd thinks it's hysterically funny to see people humiliated and physically hurt, but I don't get my laughs from reading about a guy who's just had a vasectomy getting kicked in the privates, a creepy fat guy giggling as he threatens his neighbor and then takes a dump in the upper tank of the neighbor's toilet, or a new employee demonstrating his dominance over other employees by eating a rat. Whenever the humor isn't sadistic, it's juvenile bodily function stuff. I never so much as cracked a smile reading this book.So if the book's not funny (unless you're into sadistic and/or crude humor), it needs to offer something else. I kept hoping that something would come along that would give the story some meaning, but it never did. The protagonist, Dan Jordan, is repellent; a mope who is disloyal to his company and the wife he's supposed to be devoted to. Still, all the excrement that rains down on him is overkill, to say the least, and there's no point to it.And don't get me started on the way author Bardsley portrays women. Dan's wife is needy and manipulative, their marriage counselor belittles him, and the women at work tend to be harpies or nags. When it comes right down to it, the women are just variations on a theme of emasculation. The men don't come off a lot better. They're a bunch of one-upping slimeballs and psychos.Just thinking about the book makes me feel sad that I wasted time reading it. I'm sure there are people who will enjoy it, but if you're reading this review, be sure you really, really like sadistic and crude humor, misogyny and nonstop cynicism before spending your time and money on this.more
This is a great story that will keep you very entertained while you wait for the next unexpected turn. Every time you think it can't get more ridiculous or weird, it does. This would make a great Cohen Brothers film.

Since I grew up in Oakland and worked and lived in the valley for 25 years, I have a special affinity for Dan. All the office politics, CEO arrogance and financial high wire acts are very accurate.
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Thanks formore
Dan Jordan, speech writer for the CEO of FlowBid, a Silicon Valley startup. And in three days, he can cash out his stock and be an instant millionaire. Then he and his wife could live the lives they’ve dreamed of. Only one problem, in those three days, he gets a vasectomy, is kidnapped, and threatened to be exposed for some illicit behavior at work. Where it all leads to is one humorous rollercoaster of a ride. This faced pace comical story is an easy read (it does have raunchy dialogue). Did it have laugh-out-loud parts? I didn’t think so, but I enjoyed the story for what it was and the author is a good story teller. Its part mystery (with many twists) and part comedy.more
Read all 7 reviews

Reviews

I'm looking at the book description and all the blurbs and seeing things like "mercilessly hilarious," "madcap" and "irreverent, surreal, utterly original" and I'm wondering if they read the same book I just finished. I won't say the book is worthless, because it has a few moments and Greg Bardsley can write, but the characters aren't believable and only a couple aren't a waste of space. Unfortunately, characters who aren't a waste of space do not include the protagonist.I know the America's Favorite Home Videos crowd thinks it's hysterically funny to see people humiliated and physically hurt, but I don't get my laughs from reading about a guy who's just had a vasectomy getting kicked in the privates, a creepy fat guy giggling as he threatens his neighbor and then takes a dump in the upper tank of the neighbor's toilet, or a new employee demonstrating his dominance over other employees by eating a rat. Whenever the humor isn't sadistic, it's juvenile bodily function stuff. I never so much as cracked a smile reading this book.So if the book's not funny (unless you're into sadistic and/or crude humor), it needs to offer something else. I kept hoping that something would come along that would give the story some meaning, but it never did. The protagonist, Dan Jordan, is repellent; a mope who is disloyal to his company and the wife he's supposed to be devoted to. Still, all the excrement that rains down on him is overkill, to say the least, and there's no point to it.And don't get me started on the way author Bardsley portrays women. Dan's wife is needy and manipulative, their marriage counselor belittles him, and the women at work tend to be harpies or nags. When it comes right down to it, the women are just variations on a theme of emasculation. The men don't come off a lot better. They're a bunch of one-upping slimeballs and psychos.Just thinking about the book makes me feel sad that I wasted time reading it. I'm sure there are people who will enjoy it, but if you're reading this review, be sure you really, really like sadistic and crude humor, misogyny and nonstop cynicism before spending your time and money on this.more
This is a great story that will keep you very entertained while you wait for the next unexpected turn. Every time you think it can't get more ridiculous or weird, it does. This would make a great Cohen Brothers film.

Since I grew up in Oakland and worked and lived in the valley for 25 years, I have a special affinity for Dan. All the office politics, CEO arrogance and financial high wire acts are very accurate.
more
Thanks formore
Dan Jordan, speech writer for the CEO of FlowBid, a Silicon Valley startup. And in three days, he can cash out his stock and be an instant millionaire. Then he and his wife could live the lives they’ve dreamed of. Only one problem, in those three days, he gets a vasectomy, is kidnapped, and threatened to be exposed for some illicit behavior at work. Where it all leads to is one humorous rollercoaster of a ride. This faced pace comical story is an easy read (it does have raunchy dialogue). Did it have laugh-out-loud parts? I didn’t think so, but I enjoyed the story for what it was and the author is a good story teller. Its part mystery (with many twists) and part comedy.more
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