Flyboy of Underwhere
By Bruce Hale and Shane Hillman
()
About this ebook
Sometimes even sidekicks have to step up.
Here's the thing: Zeke's busy being the so-called Prince of Underwhere. His prissy sister, Stephanie, is some sort of pirate queen. But Hector? Everyone treats him like a joker and a sidekick. Well, those days are over. Now only Hector can save the day—if he can survive the swarms of sharp-beaked midget flying dinos, smart-aleck flying horses, angry armies in their undies, a really, really bad hypnotist, and a duel with deadly toilet plungers. . . all the ordinary wedgie weirdness of the tighty-whitie world under our own.
Bruce Hale
BRUCE HALE is the author of Snoring Beauty, illustrated by Howard Fine, as well as the fifteen Chet Gecko mysteries. A popular speaker, teacher, and storyteller for children and adults, he lives in Santa Barbara, California. www.brucehale.com
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Book preview
Flyboy of Underwhere - Bruce Hale
CHAPTER 1
Chasing Melvin
Everybody wants to be the hero; nobody wants to be the sidekick. It’s true. Ask any two kids playing Batman and Robin, or Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. Nobody wants to be Robin.
And the doctor? Forget about it.
(It’s not just the dorky costume, either. Heroes get to be cool. Sidekicks get to tell the hero how cool he is.)
That’s my problem. I don’t want to be the sidekick. But sometimes I feel like I’m not even the hero of my own life.
If you’ve heard about our adventures from my buddy Zeke and his twin sister, Stephanie, you’ll know that he’s the Lost Prince of Underwhere (the place, not the cottony-fresh stuff you’re wearing under your clothes). And Stephanie? She’s the Lost Princess.
What am I? The Lost Cheese Wrangler, the Lost Beebee Stacker, the Lost Whatchamadingy.
It’s my own fault. I just can’t make up my mind about some stuff. And a hero should be able to make up his mind, right?
It’s like that guy, Hamlet, said: To be or not to be…something.
Let me explain.
My story starts with me nosing through the construction site, searching for Fitz, my talking orange cat. (He meows, sure, but he also talks English. More on that later.) Then I spotted something that looked like trouble.
Someone, actually.
Melvin Prang, school bully, was slipping into the secret passage to Underwhere, carrying a mysterious bag. Since Steph, Zeke, and I have been fighting to free Underwhere from the dirty rotten UnderLord and his pet zombies, this worried me.
Underwhere didn’t need another bully.
Just then, Fitz turned up.
Mwrr reer eerow,
he said in his weird cat talk, jerking his head toward the sidewalk. He’s been chatty ever since this Throne that looks like a fancy toilet came to Zeke and Steph’s house. (More on that later too.)
I figured he meant we should go get my friends. Fitz smelled them coming up the street before I saw them. (Which doesn’t mean that they’re stinky, really—just that Fitz has a keen nose.)
Hey, guys!
I dashed over and told them what I’d seen.
Melvin’s in Underwhere?!
cried Steph.
"Actually, he’s always in underwear, said Zeke.
I’m guessing boxers."
Real funny.
Steph’s jaw tightened. Melvin could cause some serious damage down there!
What should we do?
I said.
Duh, Hector—go after him,
Steph said. She began pulling her curly brown hair into a ponytail.
No time for primping, Stephasaurus,
said Zeke.
Her chin went up. I’m not sliding down that filthy tube without some basic preparations.
Fitz batted at my leg. Reer mmrow!
I knew how he felt. Waving my hand between them, I said, Uh, guys? About Melvin—
Zeke made a face. Aw, hush!
Don’t shush me,
I said.
No.
He pointed past my shoulder. The guys from H.U.S.H.
Steph winced.
Fitz hissed.
I turned. Yikes.
Two men were getting out of a silver car. They wore identical black suits and dark sunglasses. They might just as well have had GOVERNMENT AGENT stamped across their foreheads, except their foreheads were covered by two really phony-looking wigs.
Hold it!
cried the tall one with blond surfer hair. Unfortunately the wig didn’t hide a honking great mole on his cheek. That mole