Guys Read: Unaccompanied Minors by Jeff Kinney, Adam Rex, and Jon Scieszka - Read Online
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Jeff Kinney is pretty much the nicest guy you can hope to meet. Except when it comes to his brother, Patrick. The two of them have been locked in a battle for supremacy since they were young—a war that continues to this day. A short story from the acclaimed collection Guys Read: Funny Business, edited by Jon Scieszka.

Published: HarperCollins on
ISBN: 9780062111531
List price: $0.99
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Guys Read - Jeff Kinney

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Unaccompanied Minors

By Jeff Kinney

A Short Story from

Guys Read: Funny Business

Volume 1 of the Guys Read Library of Great Reading

Edited by Jon Scieszka

With an illustration by Adam Rex



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My younger brother, Patrick, is a normal, functioning adult. He has a job and a car and a house, and he’s a productive member of society. Which is all pretty surprising, considering I’m the one who raised him.

Okay, so maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Patrick had an attentive mother and father, two older siblings, and a grandmother who made sure he was loved and cared for. But they couldn’t always be there to look out for him. That’s where I came in.

Once I got to babysitting age, my folks felt like they could trust me to watch my little brother for a few hours at a time while they ran errands or took care of things for the family. The moment the car pulled out of the driveway, I went to work on my defenseless kid brother.

Before you get the wrong idea, I wasn’t one of those typical bullying older brothers. The damage I inflicted was mostly psychological. I was too smart to do something that would leave a mark.