Coming to grips with a life-long addiction to brightly colored drinks with umbrellas is just one of the things Amazon.com best-selling author Barton Grover Howe addresses in his latest compilation of newspaper humor columns. Among the highlights: advice to Madison Avenue on how to reach men (“Remember: we’re the kind of people that buy Colt 40 Malt Liquor because it’s huge and we can use the bottles in a water fight when we run out of balloons.”); pondering about how Madison Avenue chooses to reach women (“There are a LOT of women’s hygiene products, most of them being disposable. Which begs the question: Why not label all of them that way? I can’t imagine anyone buys these things as a souvenir.”); and observations on all of humanity’s attempts to figure out what’s going on in his bedroom. (“Trying to get pregnant seems to be EVERYBODY’s business, as if, somehow, the entire future of the human race is riding on my wife and I repopulating the species. It’s like I’m in a terrible Bruce Willis movie set in 2057. Or Brigham Young’s house in 1857.”)
So, head to the beaches of the Pacific Northwest one more time as Barton uses his unique perspective on just about everything to comment on life, the universe and gender things — and get “Beach Slapped” all over again.
Barton Grover Howe is a high school teacher and humor columnist who has spent most of the last 10 years teaching, being a mascot and generally not being near as funny as he thinks he is. A former newspaper reporter, hotel manager, aquarium diver, stand-up comedian, forcibly retired Disney On Ice performer and professional mascot, Barton Grover Howe has combined his experiences and skills from all of those environments to create writing with a voice like no other. Living proof that you don’t need hurricanes blowing the palm trees sideways to get beach slapped time and again.
He currently resides in the only small town on the Oregon coast that has seven miles of coastline and not one boat dock. He is married to the most patient woman on earth and is father to the cutest daughter in the universe, who got all of her looks from her mother.read more
Reviews for Addicted to Foo-Foos: A Beach Slapped Humor Collection (2...