Jokes Funny One Liners: 1001 Funny Best One Liners by Sham - Read Online
Jokes Funny One Liners
0% of Jokes Funny One Liners completed

About

Interests

Summary

Jokes,Funny Jokes,Hilarious Jokes,Comedy Jokes,Best Jokes,Jokes Book,One Liner Jokes

Best Hilarious One Liner Jokes book.

Published: QPUB on
ISBN: 9781476211695
List price: $0.99
Availability for Jokes Funny One Liners: 1001 Funny Best One Liners
With a 30 day free trial you can read online for free
  1. This book can be read on up to 6 mobile devices.

Reviews

Book Preview

Jokes Funny One Liners - Sham

You've reached the end of this preview. Sign up to read more!
Page 1 of 1

1001 Funny Best One Liners

Published by Sham at Smashwords

Copyright 2012

The trouble with doing something right the firs ....

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that

nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

*****

Every four seconds a woman has a baby. Our prob ....

Every four seconds a woman has a baby.

Our problem is to find this woman and stop her.

*****

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to ....

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

*****

It seemed like a silly idea at first, but now I ....

It seemed like a silly idea at first,

but now I sleep much better with my eyes closed!

*****

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but w ....

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

*****

You know how most packages say Open here. Wh ....

You know how most packages say Open here. What is the protocol if

the package says, Open somewhere else?

*****

The things that come to those who wait may be t ....

The things that come to those who wait may be

the things left by those who got there first.

*****

Friends are like a head of hair. You might los ....

Friends are like a head of hair.

You might lose some, but with enough money you can buy them back.

*****

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; t ....

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the

Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

*****

Don't argue with an idiot! People watching may ....

Don't argue with an idiot!

People watching may not be able to tell the difference.

*****"The floggings will continue until morale 'impr ....

"The floggings will continue until morale 'improves'.

*****

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue ... ....

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue ...

*****

Q:What's a chicken in a hot tub? A:Soup ....

Q:What's a chicken in a hot tub?

A:Soup

*****

Suicide is the most sincere form of self-critic ....

Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

*****

You know you live in a small town when the guy ....

You know you live in a small town when the guy at

the local convenience store speaks English.

*****

What happens if you get scared half to death tw ....

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

*****

The new IRS motto: "We've got what it takes to ....

The new IRS motto: We've got what it takes to take what you have got.

*****

Genetics explain why you look like your father ....

Genetics explain why you look like your father

and if you don't why you should.

*****

If you give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a d ....

If you give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day.

If you set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

*****

What's the difference between the government an ....

What's the difference between the government and the Mafia?

One of them is organized.

*****

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word? ....

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

*****

Friends don't let friends drink Miller. ....

Friends don't let friends drink Miller.

*****

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab togethe ....

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a

bank robbery has just taken place.

*****

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of S ....

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?

*****

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. ....

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

*****

Q: What do you call a pig with skin problems? A ....

Q: What do you call a pig with skin problems?

A: A warthog

*****

How come abbreviated is such a long word? ....

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

*****

In looking at a drop of water under a microscop ....

In looking at a drop of water under a microscope,

we find there are twice as many H's as O's.

*****

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's pr ....

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on.

*****

A picture is worth a thousand words, but try sa ....

A picture is worth a thousand words, but try saying that with a picture.

*****

In the city today the temperature rose to 180 d ....

In the city today the temperature rose to 180 degrees. This sudden

rise of temperature was responsible for the intolerable heat.

*****

Everything is controlled by a small evil group ....

Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately,

no one we know belongs.

*****

How do you get off a non-stop flight? ....

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

*****

I'm out of sick leave, so I called in dead. ....

I'm out of sick leave, so I called in dead.

*****

"I always try to avoid cliche's like the plague ....

I always try to avoid cliche's like the plague!

-Rev. Wang Zeep

*****

What do toys and womens breasts have in common? ....

What do toys and womens breasts have in common?They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with

*****

How come wrong numbers are never busy? ....

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

*****

Do you know what a Yankee is? Same as a quickie ....

Do you know what a Yankee is?

Same as a quickie, except you're by yourself

*****

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? ....

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

*****

There is no job so simple that it can not be do ....

There is no job so simple that it can not be done wrong.

*****

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact chan ....

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

*****

All my life I said I wanted to be someone... I ....

All my life I said I wanted to be someone...

I can see now that I should have been more specific.

*****

Q. What's brown and often found in children's u ....

Q. What's brown and often found in children's underpants?

A. Michael Jackson

*****

You're only young once, but you can be immature ....

You're only young once,