Shakespeare FAQ

Shakespeare FAQ

James McCrudden

Smashwords Edition

Copyright James McCrudden

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Table of Contents

Foreword

Shakespeare FAQ

End Notes

Foreword

A little girl was asked to write a book report on a book the class had read. The book was Penguins! Lords of the Antarctic!

She wrote, This book was about penguins. It told me where they live, and what they eat, and what they do, and lots of other things. It actually told me more about penguins than I really wanted to know.

Wonderful advice.

Shakespeare FAQ

If shakespeare was alive today how old would he be?

He was born in 1564 - not an easy date to remember, but he made up for it by dying in 1616, which is an easy one. Therefore, he would be around 440 years old today.

He was probably born on the 23rd April, 1564. 'Probably' because he was baptized on 26th April. Allow the mama a day or two in bed to recover from giving birth to a genius, and that puts the birthday back to the 23rd - and that was the day he died on as well. It's possible that Shakespeare died on his 52nd birthday.

Of course, this was the old Julian Calendar. By the time Shakespeare was born, the calendar was out of whack with reality by ten days. The union-jackery whipped up by the fact that the 23rd of April is St. George's day loses some of its impact when it is considered that his probable birth date, by the modern calendar, is the 3rd of May - which is only famous for being the day that Europeans sighted Jamaica in 1492.

What did he look like?

There are only two authentic likenesses of William that we are pretty sure of. One is that engraving you see everywhere. It is on the title page of the 1623 First Folio. The other likeness is his monument in his local church in Stratford.

However, Droeshout, the original engraver, was only about 15 when Shakespeare died, so it is unlikely that they ever met, professionally anyway. He must have either copied it from another portrait, or used an Elizabethan Identikit aided by Shakespeare's fellow actors standing behind him as he worked. There was no way of reproducing an existing portrait in those days, a book needed an engraving. The First Folio has a note in it from Ben Jonson saying it is a good likeness.

Poor old Droeshout has been picked over by tailors, historians, opticians, barbers, art critics, physicians, neurologists, and psychologists. They say Shakespeare's clothes are wrong, his hair is cut badly, he has two right eyes (or one bigger than the other), and his head floats an inch or two above his shoulders. Others say the head is far too big for the body. There are those who argue that the Droeshout engraving has Queen Elizabeth's nose and earlobe, and use this argument for flights of fancy regarding authorship.[1]

What about the Chandos portrait?

The Chandos portrait may possibly be his, it's certainly the right era, but, although it can be traced back further than other contenders (apart from Droeshout), the early references to it are vaporous when investigated, and contradictory - legends mainly. The major reason for its worship is that it looks enough like the Droeshout to give it a semblance of credibility while, at the same time, looks more the way everyone thinks a genius should appear - dashing, sensitive, rakish even. Steevens, the prominent Shakespearean commentator of the 18th Century, thought differently. He thought the portrait showed a chimney sweep with jaundice, and mocked its provenance.

Other portraits?

There's the Flower, the Stratford, the Soest and so on. They share with all the others the handicap that they were painted after death. Sometimes well after.

And the bust in the church?

He died in 1616 and by 1623 someone had erected a bust of him in the church in remembrance. The cost of this was possibly met by Will himself, and it was possibly at the initiative of his son-in-law, the Puritan Dr. Hall. Provoking, I know. Why it took so long, if it was a family thing, is a mystery. Why it only took a mere 7 years, if the local bureaucrats did it, is a different mystery. In any event, having your bust in the local church is an undeniable sign of recognition, you would think. But Shakespeare had bought a share of the church tithes, and this might have persuaded the church authorities to allow his bust to be placed there - a great benefactor to our church was possibly the gist of the speeches at the original unveiling.

Did it look like him? Probably as much as an inartistic sculpture could look. After all, his wife and other family and friends would surely have rejected something that bore no resemblance. He does look puffy.

The bust and the portrait surfaced together in 1623.

What about height, weight, and so on?

Since we have absolutely nothing to go on, it's anything your fancy paints. He has been described as suffering from boils, a fatty, blushed easily, lame, lithe, well-built, nimble, fair skinned... The inspiration for these conceptions, visions, and whimsys is his literary output. What would Charles Dickens look like if all we had to go by was his works? Fagin?[2]

Why do they call it Stratford on Avon - Why not Stratford?

Because of the name Stratford. There is a lot of places called Stratford. Stratford means the ford on the street. Or, another way, the river crossing on the street. The river here being the Avon.

The Romans were first class at building what we call roads, but what they called streets (which really means paved paths). So everywhere in England wherever a Roman street crossed a river, the spot had a chance of being called strete-ford - which is how it is spelled in the documents that establish Stratford-on-Avon in the first place. You will find Stratford, Stradford, Stretford and Startforth among the spellings of other places with a similar history. Indeed, there is a Stratford-on-Avon in Canada. Better tell your travel agent which Stratford-on-Avon you want to go to, and keep a close eye on the luggage.

As you might expect - based on this knowledge - the main drag through Stratford-on-Avon is called Bridge Street.

WHAT DOES 'AVON' MEAN THEN?

Avon is Gaelic for river (close enough). That being the case, there is no surprise to hear there is more than one Avon in England. So River Avon translates as River River.

Did anybody famous apart from you-know-who come from there?

I had never heard of one, but in the address given by the Mayor at the last centenary celebrations, you can detect a distinct note a note of pique that nobody realizes that Shakespeare wasn't the only product of the dear old place. Stratford, however, she huffs, has many other sons and daughters, who have also contributed to the town's distinctive history with a heritage that reaches out beyond the classical theater. The heritage encompasses a full range of trade, industry, communications, commerce, learning and leisure pursuits.

I stand rebuked.

The Mayor also makes the point that WS is not above criticism. As a playwright he is amongst the world's best, she concedes. Her taste in literature, at war with home-town pride, will not allow her to claim first place for the local boy. You have to admire her integrity.

The slogan for the 800th anniversary of the town was, Stratford - 800 years of trading, and this fact heralds the realization that the powers in Stratford had a sense of proportion about their playwright, and just where he fitted in.

Who were the other 'sons and daughters' the mayor was referring to?

Well, there was Sir Hugh Clopton, who rose to be the Lord Mayor of London in 1492 - the very year Columbus made a serious grumble about the quality of the stuff sold in map shops - and who built a bridge in Stratford. Then there was E.F. Flower, who founded a brewery - in fact the whole Flower family gets a mention in Her Honor's address. And a couple of local boys became Archbishops.

Were Shakespeare's plays performed there in his time?

Well, there was no permanent theater while Will lived there. They didn't honor the lad in this way until about 150 years after his death. Incidentally, the theater that's there now was designed by a woman. She beat the chaps in a fair and open competition. I wouldn't mention it ordinarily, but it was a bit of a rarity back then.

But there are mentions of plays being performed in Stratford in Shakespeare's day. They don't mention names of plays, but it is not inconceivable that, when a troupe was touring with The Horrible Story of the Murdered Wheelwright, they might have put on Hamlet or something as a tribute to a local lad. Not inconceivable, but not a single bit of evidence either.

Is his residence still there?

No. The Reverend Francis Gastrell pulled Shakespeare's house down in 1759, because he was forced to pay full local tax on a house he only occupied part of the time. Earlier, sick and tired of all the literary minded that came there to do homage, and tramped down all his grass, he had cut down the mulberry tree (the one Shakespeare had allegedly planted) to show them, clergyman though he was, he had a fighting streak. But they still came. Yes, they came; but the house went. Nothing remains except the line of the foundation. However, a sunken Tudor Knot garden, open to tourists, is there in its place. The reason it's sunk is probably because that's how a knot garden is best viewed - from above. The gardens are in complicated patterns which are hard to see when standing in them.

There is a sketch of the house, done in 1737 by a George Vertue, which did not surface until 1952, and shows it as a three storey building with five gables. It must have taken some pulling down. Funny thing though - there's heaps of stories about mementos made from the old tree. Surely someone could have made money by selling the bricks and doors and things. But apparently no-one did.

But anne hathaway's cottage...?

Some cottage. There's many a chile would like a cottage this size. But, no, Shakespeare didn't live there. Anne lived there before she married William. It is a lovely place, with a drop-dead beautiful garden and orchard, and it's no wonder it features on so many tins of confectionary.

Where is Stratford on Avon?

It's in a county called Warwickshire, in the English Midlands - the place the Luftwaffe bombed to heaps of glass and broken bricks during WW2. It's pretty close to the Forest of Arden, and about a hundred miles from London.

Arden, Arden...?

Shakespeare's mum was Mary Arden.

And if you read that Shakespeare's dad, John, was wealthy enough to make sure young Will got educated, bear in mind that his mother, Mary Arden, was worth a dollar or two herself. She inherited the family farm of 60 acres and cash and crops.[3] Shakespeare's dad had gone after a very handsome catch in young Mary Arden.

I'm sure I've heard the name, arden.

You're possibly thinking of Kate Arden, the prostitute. Jonson, 'rare Ben Jonson' wrote of her,

The meat-boat of Bear's college, Paris-garden,

Stunk not so ill; nor, when she kist, Kate Arden.

Another of his remarks was, Swine are cleaner than pigs and so is Kate Arden.

In fact, when the Globe Theater burned to the ground, he claimed it was Kate Arden who kindled the fire. Whether she kindled the fire by starting a ruck in the place, or actually put the match to it, Jonson is not clear. History records it was burned down when a cannon went off and set fire to the thatch.

Didn't rare Ben Jonson say that Shakespeare had small latin and less greek?

Seven years after Shakespeare died, the same Jonson wrote a poem which is headed,

To the memory of my beloved, the author Mr. William Shakespeare and what he hath left us.

And continues:

Soul of the age!

The applause, delight, the wonder of our stage,

My Shakespeare, rise! I will not lodge thee by

Chaucer, or Spenser, or bid Beaumont lie

A little further, to make thee a room:

Thou art a monument without a tomb...

and though thou hadst small Latin and less Greek.....

So he did say that, but that doesn't mean he looked down on him. It was in the context of saying how great he was. Rare Ben wrote in 'Discoveries', I loved the man, and do honour his memory (on this side idolatry) as much as any.

Shakespeare was godfather to Jonson's son, and on one occasion said to Jonson that he would get the boy, as a present, a set of lattin spoons, and you can translate them, he said. Lattin is a kind of metal, and Shakespeare was making a pun to the very man who had made the Latin accusation, so we can keep the small Latin bit in perspective.

Is Stratford worth a visit?

Yes. Especially at Christmas. The town is fairy-ed with millions of colored lights and there's a beautifully decorated tree. The locals claim it is the most magically decorated place in the whole world, and they could well be right. The children are out singing carols, and the Mayor (himself, b'god) puts the lights on with his very own hands. Yes, go there, particularly around Christmas.

Actually, if you wait a week, you can have the Councillors lead you in a sing-along. Yes, the Councillors themselves.

ARE THE STRATFORD SWANS SHAKESPEARIAN?

No, they are a more recent custom. In the 1800's, a clergyman gave the Town Council his swans. Since then, the Council have made gifts of them to other towns who wish to honor Shakespeare. They honor Will themselves by eating two of the swans every year.[4]

Incidentally, they used to have 'swan-upping', or 'swan-hopping', as they call it there. Essentially, the Mayor, the Councillors, the Beadle, the local copper - all the dignitaries - rounded up the swans and poked a hole in their feet so that, if anyone pinched one, Scotland Yard would know. Sadly, the swans violently objected - they are vicious sods when aroused, swans - and swan-upping was dropped.

Swansong. Shakespeare used a common notion that swans sing before their death no less than 5 times in his plays, for example:

"He makes a swan-like end,

Fading in music."

He might have got this notion from his classical reading - Seneca and Aristotle mention it.[5] Or it may have been a long-lived popular misconception[6] but it could not be something he took from real life, because only the Whistling Swan makes any kind of music at all.

If, to please green conservation pedants, you rewrite Emilia's part in Othello,

I will play the swan,

and die whistling,

it loses something of its poignancy.

What about,

He makes a swan-like end,

Whistling away.

No?

WHAT IS WRITTEN ON THE BUST OF SHAKESPEARE?

STAY PASSENGER, WHY GOEST THOV BY SO FAST

READ IF THOV CANST, WHOM ENVIOVS DEATH HATH PLAST

WITHIN THIS MONVMENT SHAKSPEARE

WITH WHOME, QVICK NATVRE DIDE

WHOSE NAME, DOTH DECK Y\S TOMBE FAR MORE, THEN COST

SIEH ALL, Y\T HE HATH WRITT

LEAVES LIVING ART, BVT PAGE, TO SERVE HIS WITT.

This is a clue, say people with time on their hands, and nothing in their heads, to the fact that Shakespeare didn't write all the stuff he was supposed to. The whole epitaph is an elaborate riddle! All you have to do is to interpret the word Read as meaning Riddle and it's as plain as day that Marlowe wrote all the plays and poems, and that scoundrel Shakespeare took the credit.[7]

The Y in Y\T is the representation of the old alphabetical letter thorn, since dropped from our alphabet, and is pronounced th as in the or that. You see it a lot in signs like Ye Olde Wossname. Ye here is pronounced the, and is meant to be the.

The bust, by the way, is a waist up little statue, in colored limestone, not the usual white marble. It is claimed to be done by Gheerhart Janssen,who had a workshop near the Globe Theater, and possibly is, but there is only one historical reference to this.

The translation of the above is,

Stay, passenger, why go by so fast?

Read, if you can, whom envious Death hath placed

Within this monument: Shakespeare, with whom

Quick nature died, whose name does deck this tomb

Far more than cost, since all that he has writ

Leaves living art, but page, to serve his wit.

This sort of stuff leaves you cross-eyed, but it is useful as an indication of just what they thought was good stuff in his day.

What is written on the tomb of Shakespeare?

GOOD FREND FOR IESVS SAKE FORBEARE,

TO DIGG THE DVST ENCLOASED HEARE:

BLESTE BE Y\E MAN Y\T SPARES THES STONES,

AND CVRST BE HE Y\T MOVES MY BONES.

I in IESVS is the old way of doing J. V is the old way of writing U. (I and U aren't in the Roman alphabet). For example - Y\E MAN Y\T is the man that.

Translation,

Good friend, for Jesus' sake forbear,

To dig the dust enclosed here.

Blessed be the man that spares these stones,

And cursed be he that moves my bones.

While on the subject - his name is not on the tombstone.

Did the promised curse work?

Too right.

Westminster Abbey is the place where the great and good are buried in England, and there was a move to have his body shifted there. Be that as it may, the curse is pretty definite that the man did not want his bones shifted, and the authorities who could move bodies around decided it was not worth the risk.

Washington Irving, reputed as the first American man of letters, visited the graveyard and records,

As some workmen were digging to make an adjoining vault, the earth caved in so as to leave a vacant space almost like an arch, through which one might have reached into his grave. No one, however, presumed to meddle with his remains so awfully guarded by a malediction. The old sexton kept watch over the place for two days until the vault was finished and the aperture closed again. He told me that he had made bold to look in at the hole but could see neither coffin nor bones; nothing but dust.[8]

It would be terrible if he were buried at Westminster. You see, alongside his grave is his wife[9], and nearby is his daughter. It is a great thing to see them there, and know that Shakespeare is not a bust, or a monument, or a fantasy. He was a man, a human being like us. If you pricked Shakespeare, he would bleed, just like Shylock. And his children probably called Shakespeare, Daddy.

Did Shakespeare write his own epitaph?

Who knows?

It's a puzzler, because the lines are really everyday, and undistinguished. But another one is, why was it written at all? - whether by the deceased or a friend?

Theories abound. Here are two possibles,

1. In medieval days, a 'charnel house' was sometimes attached to a churchyard, its purpose being to house the bones of those whose graves were excavated to make room for new graves.[10] Was Shakespeare, or family, worried about this? If so, why? There was there a charnel house at Stratford. Maybe the curse was directed against the sexton, whose job it was to keep dig up old graves for new bodies. Why is there no such plea on the surrounding graves?

2. Another is that he and his family had a thing about family corpses being dug up and being robbed of their clothes and anything else that might have been of value.[11] But the stone was surely put up later, so grave robbers would not have been deterred.

A clue might be in the line of Juliet,

in a charnel-house,

O'er-cover'd quite with dead men's rattling bones,

With reeky[12] shanks and yellow chapless skulls,

It's a grisly picture, and he might, only might, have had a fear of adding his own skull to the Stratford-on-Avon collection.

How did Shakespeare get that unusual name?

There are plenty of English surnames which began as nick-names, or eke-names, (additional names) - like Thewles (ill-manners), Bellamy (good friend), Pettifer (iron foot), Toplady (enough said), and so forth. Names like Breakspear and Shakespeare sound clear enough, but some names were sarcastic, like calling someone an Einstein when he is brainless, or 'Speedy' when he is slow. So the original Shakespeare may have been a soldier, or just as easily, a coward (spear trembles in his hand). Like many things about the man that we would like to know, history shuts her lips. The coat of arms granted to the family suggests that the ironic interpretation of the name is plain wrong.

Incidentally, a hundred years before Shakespeare was born, the name was known in at least ten counties, plus Ireland, though they were thickest in Warwickshire. The earliest recorded was William Saxper - he was hung for robbery. Shakelady is also a surname, and there are Shakeshaftes in Lancashire, William's grand-dad was called Shakstaff in a 1533 record, and there was a play based around an actual character named George Shakebag.

Good clean fun can be had of the fact that his name has been spelled differently so speare might be pere (father) - or pear - or peer - or beer (which can also mean a grove or a bear) - and shake might be shag or shock. There is quite an industry gathered around him, most of it, like these mad suggestions, a criminal waste of time.

What are some of the ways that the name Shakespeare has been spelled?

Shakspeare, Shaksper, Shakespere, Shakspeare, Saxper, Schaftspeare. Shaxpeare, Shagspere, Shakespey. Whichever way human wit can conceive to spell it, it has probably been spelled, about 70 have been counted so far. And don't let anyone tell you that Elizabethans were notoriously slack in those days with their spelling. While Marlowe, for example, spelled his own name Marley, this cannot be regarded as slackness. Spelling 'rules' had not been settled. Regional accents abounded, people spelled as they pronounced. What has come down to us as Lear, Cordelia, Goneril, and Regan, was spelled Leir, Cordella, Gonorill, and Ragan in an anonymous quarto printed in 1605. The movie director, Koster (My Cousin Rachel), has his name pronounced Costa in many English speaking countries. So how would you spell it if you did not know?

Incidentally, the many variations of his name are not his, they are other people's.

How did he spell his name himself?

On his will, he signs Shakespeare, but his lawyer spells it Shackspere.

Doesn't the hyphenated name mean it is a pseudonym?

One of the marks of a pseudo-science is that it invents the foundation on which it stands - aroma-therapy and astrology spring to mind. And one of the mischiefs of the snobbery driven industry that claims Shakespeare didn't write Hamlet and the rest, is to claim that, because once in a while someone spells Shakespeare as Shake-speare, it must be a pseudonym.

Astonishingly, there are quite a number of researchers who dig in the field of anonymous and pseudonymous writings[13]. They have never heard of this quaint suggestion. Similarly, the people who have written on hyphens, like Fowler, and Potter, are unaware of the hyphen's use as a pseudonym. What's more, there is no other example apart from Shakespeare.

Logically, it is madness to use a pseudonym to conceal identity in a way that advertises that it is a pseudonym. It is moonbattery, to use a word Shakespeare would not have hesitated to use.

Why did he wear that silly beard?

Henry VIII imposed a tax on beards, but then made beards fashionable by growing one himself. Later, they became immensely popular during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, particularly among nobility and court hangers-on.

There was quite a range of styles, and each one, apart from the long untrimmed one, plainly proclaimed that the wearer