Forever Breathing

I knew something was wrong when I had a hard time lifting my arms and opening my eyes. But the alarm going off in my brain really started freaking me out when I realized air and not water was surrounding me, as it should be, deep in the sea. Then I heard it, the most beautiful sound my ears have ever heard, his voice, Jack’s voice. My body relaxed slightly and I forced my eyes open. They fluttered and everything seemed blurry at first, but once I concentrated on that sound, like music to the deepest regions of my soul, I was able to focus. And focus I did on those eyes, the eyes that had me, merely months ago, at the words,’ Hi, I’m Jack’.

I watch as the green moves away and blue pushes through in those beautiful eyes. I will never be tired of that sight. I am the cause of it. What could be more incredibly fulfilling than to know that you put someone at ease enough to change a physical part of their being.

He repeats the beautiful sound again, Hey, baby, how are you?

I look up and get lost once again. My tongue feels like it’s wrapped in cotton. I lift my hand up to my mouth just to make sure it’s not.

My voice is barely audible, I’m… ahhh… okay.

He approaches the bunk and sinks down beside me. I take the moment to break my trance and look around. My face turns red as I realize we’re not alone. James is standing a few feet away next to Amber. The door is open and I can see others in the hall beyond. No one I recognize. Actually glancing around, I don’t recognize anything about this room. The walls appear to be jagged rock, like the inside of a cave.

I raise my hand to my head trying to remember; how did I get here and where is here, why is everyone standing around, staring at me? Jack grasps my hand. Electricity shoots up to my shoulder. I savor this feeling. I’ve missed it.

Ever, do you remember what happened?

I look around at the waiting eyes staring at me and think back. What did happen? It seems like we’re still in the sea but the room and hall, are obviously in air and everyone is standing around on legs.

I shake my head confused but as I meet Jack’s eyes again another face pops into my head; girl’s. It’s the beautiful blonde, Sara, and my anger surfaces, as I glance over at my brother. He shifts uncomfortably and glances the other way. I frown. James was shot with an arrow by Sara, I remember that. And Jack, he explained why we were apart for what seemed like forever. He was kicked out of the Lior’s city because Sara followed him to the sea. She was delusional, thinking Jack loved her or something. That girl was crazy. She tried to shoot me but my brother saved me. My heart fills just thinking about what he did. He was really into her, but she betrayed him. And my emotions return to anger.

I look around and rest on Jack’s perfect almond eyes. I lift my hand and push his brown hair out of his eye where it has fallen.

I nod slowly, Yes, I think, it was Sara, she shot… James. I choke out my brother’s name still in disbelief that it happened.

He frowns, moves closer, and squeezes my hand, Yes, that happened, but do you remember after that?

He looks down to our hands. I follow his gaze and something catches my eye at my side. A large bandage is covering the skin surrounding my ribs and it’s stained a rust color.

I frown letting go of his hand to touch the bandage. My hand lingers. I realize when I shift a little that there is a dull pain. I look back up questioning him.

I slowly stammer, I…I… no I guess I don’t remember. What happened?

He asks, "Tell me the last thing you do remember."

I look up at James’ face and he’s frowning. Amber mirrors his look. I feel Jack’s hand on mine, slowly moving it away from the bandage.

I guess I just remember when James healed himself and you. I look into his eyes again.

I remember, you told me about why you left and went to the Erebus. I guess that’s it.

His hand squeezes around mine again and I get a slight flash of de’- ja vu. What are they not telling me and why do they all seem to be taking it so slow?

My face turns red again with frustration, Just spit it out!

Jack takes a deep breath, Ever you were shot with an arrow. You lost a lot of blood. We were afraid…we were afraid we were going to lose you. He stops but adds, I was scared I was going to lose you.

And again it feels as if it’s only Jack and me in the room. I reach up with my free hand and caress his cheek. I don’t want him to feel any pain. We’ve both felt enough for a life time.

His words and realization hit me suddenly, I was shot. Oh boy. I look around the room again for the umpteenth time and see the worry on their faces. They’re worried I’m going to have an ‘Ever’ freak out.

I smile at that thought and start giggling.

Jack whispers confused, What are you laughing about? Are you alright?

I giggle harder but confess once I can catch my breath, You three were afraid I was going to flip out, weren’t you?

They all smile carefully at the same time.

James pipes out sarcastically, You are known to do that. We just decided to break the news to you very slowly.

I stop suddenly and apologize as the question, who is to blame for my situation, hits me, Oh James, I’m so sorry, it was Sara wasn’t it?

He shrugs his shoulders and looks away, obviously he’s still hurting. Who could blame him though? The one girl he puts it on the line for and she betrays him. It sounds like a rather familiar scenario actually.

When I was a little girl I imagined what most young girls do. My prince charming would come and whisk me right off my feet. We’d ride into the sunset and live happily ever after. I, of course, thought he’d ride up on a white horse and I’d be in danger. He’d come in the nick of time and save me. And you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop right? Nope, it’s not going to happen. I am actually living the fairy tale, just not in the sense I dreamed, exactly. The prince charming however, yep, he’s as real as they get. And he saved me. He saved me as far as I’m concerned in every sense of the word. He saved me from a life I wasn’t meant for on land. He saved me from a life with the Lior in which I wouldn’t ever be truly accepted for who I am. He saved me from myself. My indecisive self, who made only one decision, to love him, and I stuck with it. I was saved by Jack in every sense of the word.

Jack whisked me off my feet after I got over the realization that life is changing yet again. I just can’t catch a break with any kind of normalcy for any amount of time.

Getting shot with an arrow was definitely disturbing but I didn’t have to live through it. I was passed out cold and oblivious.

However, when Jack broke the news to me that Seamus was dead, that kind of hit my heart. I guess the Erebus in the city were able to break into the castle and kill him. I remember the huge echo through the water when the shield around the city went down, right before the battle broke out. That must have been when they did it. That was the start of the chaos.

He was an extremely distant relative but he was starting to grow on me and unfortunately I will never really get to know him. I’m sad at this thought.

James is completely at ease with Seamus being gone. I think he blames Seamus in a large way for what happened to Sara. But really, either way you look at it, the girl was crazy and would never leave Jack alone. We learned that the hard way.

After the dust settled, she was missing as well as Metea and Mersa. Jack told me that Jaspen is convinced that they were casualties of the battle. It’s a shame so many people had to die. My heart hangs for those lost no matter what side they were fighting for. Hopefully a battle like that won’t ever have to happen again.

This brings me back to my prince charming… He whisked me away to Amber’s dwelling once I was able to move. I didn’t want to let him out of my sight but he insisted I still had some healing to do. So I told him not to go far.

Through trial and error I guess, we have found that James has the healing thing but I didn’t get so lucky, it figures. They used his blood to help heal me but it was slow and didn’t fully heal all the damage. Only time can do that.

I slept for three days after getting shot and guess what? Here I am trying to sleep again. It’s not working too well. Of course, I’m not tired. Who would be after having slept so much already?

I hear a knock on the door of the blue room as I fondly like to call it.

Come in, Amber.

She strolls in smirking. Oh yeah that’s another beef I have. They refuse to let me have water and my fin until I’m fully healed. I just don’t get the logic here. Not so long ago I was told that we get some strength from the sea water. Obviously, I’m not benefiting from that strength right now.

Hey, how are you doing?

I roll my eyes at her, You already know I’m fine. Why are you all treating me like I’m going to break?

Green spreads across her eyes. Oh great we’re going to have a heart to heart.

She walks across the room and sits on the edge of the bunk. I roll over onto my good side and lay my head on my bent arm.

You are quite the feisty one lately. This warrants another eye roll.

Ever, it was so scary. We really thought you were going to die.

She lets this sink in before continuing.

I’ve never seen Jack so upset. He sat there awake, unmoving for three days, just waiting and helpless. And your brother, he was the opposite. He couldn’t sit still. I think he went to your Grandmother’s at least three times.

This is news to me. He got Gam-aw involved. Perfect.

I blink back tears as my eyes get a little blurry for the pain they must have gone through. It wasn’t that long ago that Jack and I were reversed. I was waiting for him to wake up after we leapt from a cliff and he hit his head. I remember the immense hole in my heart during that time. The last thing I want is Jack hurting anymore over me. I’ve done a major overhaul on his life. Well really everyone’s. Who would have thought one girl and one boy could change things so completely?

Ever, are you there?

I focus on her and realize I zoned again. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Every time I get a clear thought about how things are in our reality, my mind drifts.

Yes… um… yes, here, I guess.

She brushes the hair out of my face, Things will start to turn back to normal. It will all work out. You’ll see.

I nod, I was just thinking about that actually. What is normal exactly? I mean, I’ve never lived here so this will not be normal for me for a long time.

I take a breath and continue, And, the city is…gone… it’s destroyed. How can you return to normal with all of that destruction?

A sure smile spreads across her face, Do you doubt us? We are very resilient people, you’ll see.

I’m sure I will see the newly rebuilt city because I have no intention of ever leaving Jack again. If this is where he is, then so am I.

She gets up and pulls the blanket up over my shoulder, mothering me again. You still need to get some rest. The more rest you give to your body, the faster you will heal.

I decide not to argue. It’s pointless. All three of them have been ridiculous in hovering but I guess I get it. Hopefully none of us will ever have to endure this again. I wouldn’t be able to bear losing any of them.

I drift off to sleep, dreaming of those eyes that pierce my soul. Maybe he’ll be back when I wake up. That thought does weird things to my middle and I smile as I doze.

I roll over groggily and wince as I put pressure on the tender part of my side. I’m surprised, realizing I’m not alone. Facing me is Jack with his unbelievably perfect face. He is still sleeping, breathing lightly. I savor this moment, taking in every inch of him. How could I ever doubt this unbelievable man next to me? I know I shouldn’t but I can’t resist the urge to touch him. I move my hand to his cheek and caress it lightly. After a few moments, his eyelids flutter and slowly open. A slow smile spreads across his full lips.

Good morning, beautiful. He whispers in a raspy voice still laced with sleep.

Looking over into those mesmerizing eyes I wonder, how in the world, I ended up with someone so incredible? How am I worthy of him?

He frowns and moves his hand down my face to my shoulder and circles his finger on my arm in a soothing pattern, brining tingles to the rest of me.

Hey, are you alright? You seem deep in thought.

I focus and realize I did it again, I zoned out for a second. Maybe getting shot with the arrow messed up more than my side. I move my hand down and grasp his, squeezing it for reassurance.

I was just wondering what I did to deserve you. How can I be the person you really want?

He pushes himself up resting on his elbow and looks down at me, his eyes boring into mine, Ever, you did not just ask me that. I should be saying that to you. Don’t you get it? You have changed your entire being to be with me. Even when I wasn’t around, you believed in me. You believed in us. For you to love so fully and devote your entire self to something so unknown is just… He drags it out not finishing, looking away.

Finally he looks back down and searches my face. He lowers his head looking me directly in my eyes. I watch as a tear drops from his cheek onto mine. He gently wipes it away and lowers his face even closer. I can smell his sweet breath. I will spend the rest of my life thanking you for choosing me. His lips meet mine in a tender kiss. I can feel the electricity flow between us and I just want to get lost forever.

Sara, what did you do? What did you do?

Sara! I yell shaking myself out of sleep.

I roll over and face the wall of the room blinking rapidly at the sight of the jagged rock in front of me. It looks about like the shape my heart is in right now.

Why did I let that girl get to me? I’m having nightmares now like a damn girl. Like my sister.

I feel like things got switched around. Just last month I was comforting her for losing Jack and here I am feeling the same shit.

I just can’t figure it out. She was so convincing and she was able to just turn it off. Maybe she is as crazy as they all say she is. My stomach drops realizing that she’s gone and I’ll never see her again. I just need to push it away. Really, I know exactly what I need. I need my music.

I roll back over and get off the bunk swimming into the hall. Someone is at the far end with his back facing me. Jaspen, exactly the person I need to talk to.

I call out, Jaspen, can I speak with you?

He turns with his evil looking smile. I’ve gotten pretty used to it by now. Really his bark is worse than his bite. He likes everyone to be afraid of him but I know better. I ferried the Erebus over to the city, right before they launched their attack on Seamus and the Lior, to gain access to the city. I saw the fear in his face when we started. He wasn’t sure it would work. This is the only time the Erebus have won any battles after all. He probably didn’t know what to do with himself when the Erebus finally did win. I chuckle at the thought of a scared Jaspen, it would have been a sight to see.

I wasn’t around him when they finally won though. Ever was in bad shape and I chased some Erebus that attacked her out into the fields where he disappeared.

The scene I came back to will be forever etched into my brain. The water was tinged blood red. I had to pry her still body from Jack’s arms. Then we tried to heal her with my blood, and she didn’t wake up, my heart about broke again. I felt like I didn’t do the one thing I promised, keep her safe.

After that I shut my emotions off. I knew Gam-aw had to know so I went to her immediately after we settled Ever in the Erebus caves. All I could focus on was healing her. We tried treating her with my blood every day for three days. Finally on the third, her pulse evened out and she woke up.

It’s been a few more days since she woke up and my mind has wandered back… mostly at night when I can’t control it and shut her out.

Jaspen, I was thinking, maybe I’ll go home for a while.

He frowns as if he doesn’t understand me but I know he gets where I want to go.

My boy, you are home.

I stare him down not even bothering with a response.

Well, I suppose, maybe that will be good for you, clear your head for a little while.

I nod.

He turns and swims the other way not bothering with another word. I’ll give it to him; he definitely doesn’t waste any words.

Now I need to tell my sister. She’s in good hands, but I know she’ll still give me a hard time.

Knocking on the door to Amber’s dwelling, I get a little nervous. Ever has been taking everything really well lately. I think we’re all just waiting for her to do her usual freak out. Jack and I decided that the less she knows about everything, the better she’ll be, for now. I had to remind him that is that exact approach that got him and Ever into their previous situation. He agreed, so we decided we would answer all of her questions, just not offer anything extra.

Amber opens the door and ushers me in. As soon as I’m in, the water drains back down and I will my legs.

Hey, James, how are you?

I’m good. How’s she doing today?

Better with each day that passes. Jack is in there right now.

"Good,