Smackin' The Monkey And Two Other Short Plays by Ernest Kinnie - Read Online
Smackin' The Monkey And Two Other Short Plays
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Three 10-minute plays. In Smackin’ the Monkey, two old actors try to keep in shape by faking heart attacks in the park. It doesn’t work out so good. The sweet old lady steals the wallet from the actor faking the attack. The tough guy thinks the actor is having a bad trip and pops a white pill down his throat with unfortunate results.

In Deep and Serious, four people are hoping to join a playwriting group. The problem is that they are more for fun than serious playwriting, but think they can learn something if they join. They first write a funny skit, but decide that won’t impress the group, so they turn the skit into a deep and serious play. Not easy but they find a way. They figure when they put on their play, skit, farce, spoof, whatever, the playwriting group will either jump up and down in awe, or toss them out the door. Either way, they are going to have a lot of fun.

In High Flyers two circus performers are too old to keep flying and must decide what to do with the rest of their lives...assuming they want a life after they can no longer fly. They were born in the circus and is all they know. Maybe better to end it. Who wants to flip burgers, or play sweet, perky, little waitress, getting pinched on your tush for lousy tips.

From High Flyers:

A dingy, cheap dressing room in a circus trailer. Door up right. Marilyn is sitting in a chair center left with her head back, looking up at the ceiling. She is in her early thirties and wearing leotards. They are too small because she has been gaining weight the last two years.

Damn! Damn! Damn!
(She drops her head down and begins to cry. After a short while, she wipes her eyes and takes a bottle of green liquid out of her purse. It has a black band around the middle. She holds it out in front of her for a few moments and then begins to unscrew the cap. She suddenly glances toward the door and quickly re-screws the cap and puts the bottle back in her purse as Fred comes in. He is also wearing leotards. He comes over and puts his arms around her.)

How you doin’ sweetie pie?

How do you think I’m doing? I hit the net three times. Three times!
(And begins to cry again. Fred hugs her closer.)
Did you hear the boos? Did you hear the hisses and the boos?

Just a bad day sweetie pie.

No! It wasn’t just a bad day, sweetie pie. Remember Dorothy Hamill? She was a great skater, a beautiful skater, and she fell three times the last time she skated in public. I felt so sad watching her fall. And fall again! And again!! She waited too long to quit, and so did I. It’s over Freddie. I’m not going back up there.

Don’t you remember the big cheers when we made the catch?

Oh ya, sure. They were God-awful relieved I didn’t fall a fourth time. It’s over Fred! I’m not going back!

Look sweetie pie, we’ll practice more. It was just a bad day. Come on, let’s go eat.

(She wails, as she gestures toward her leotards.)
Like Hell it was just a bad day. Open your eyes. I don’t fit these anymore. And quit calling me sweetie pie.
(And begins to cry again. Fred tries to hug her closer, but she pushes him away and stands up, shaking her head. Angry anguish.)
Now you can finally fly away with lovely Lulu. Go tell her the good news. Go on! She’ll jump up and down, shaking everything she’s got for you.

Published: Ernest Kinnie on
ISBN: 9781452495644
List price: $2.99
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