My Journey Through Infertility: Battling Infertility, Dynasty Systems, and Old Yankee Healthcare

INTRODUCTION

ON THE VERGE of completing six years of employment with Dynasty Systems, after 23 straight quarters of documented 100% performance reviews, and garnering all of the 23 bonus payouts related to his perfect performance, Joe Hunter is placed on a Performance Improvement Plan.

Dynasty Systems communicates its intention to place Hunter on this Performance Improvement Plan three days after making arrangements for its first payment of the Hunters' infertility treatments under the company's health insurance plan.

Hello. My name is Haley Hunter. And I am the wife whose husband is terminated because I am not woman enough to get pregnant without medical assistance. Expensive medical assistance which my husband's employer's health plan is supposed to cover.

Now meet Joe and Haley Hunter. This is their battle. Against Infertility. Against Dynasty Systems. Against the insurance industry.

Follow their journey to see the results of what can be accomplished.

CHAPTER 1

Western Massachusetts – The Arbitration Hearing

TRUTH IS AN ORPHAN abandoned on a doorstep when justice is no longer blind but for sale to the highest bidder.

Friday, February 1st, 2008. Today I testify in my husband's wrongful termination claim against Dynasty Systems taking place in a Western Massachusetts hotel meeting room, a short distance from our home.

For a courtroom, three long cloth-draped banquet tables are set up in a U configuration. We, the Plaintiff, with our Attorney Hank Strand, sit on one wing. The Defense; Dynasty Attorney Claire Bentley and hired gun, Attorney Deidre Decoy Duncan, known for her legal sleight of hand and uncanny knack for winning unwinnable cases, sit on the opposite wing. Witnesses will be sworn in and seated at The Bench, the connecting head table with The Arbitrator and Court Reporter.

The Arbitrator and the Court Reporter both have colds today. Not wanting to expose me, in my 9th month of pregnancy, to any germs, I am instructed to sit not at The Bench with them, but far away at the open end of the U, with a microphone stand in front of me.

At least they're not emitting radiation. (This will make sense later on!)

The Arbitrator previously ruled that I am available for one day only. That given my condition there will be no extension of my availability. However, that does not deter Duncan from her continued effort to extend the hearing. Duncan begins the day wasting precious time pleading her position that one day is not sufficient to thoroughly cross-examine me. The Arbitrator does not waver. However, Duncan has managed to waste 25 minutes and the day hasn't even started yet! Hank then asks the court not to infer any disrespect from Joe's absence today. He is in Wisconsin for his father's funeral.

Duncan begins her cross-examination by referring to our reproductive difficulties as a sexual disease. Calling our IVF instead by another three letter acronym.

Now, Mrs. Hunter, regarding your HIV treatment...

Seated, Hank firmly yells out, OBJECTION! Their infertility treatment is IVF treatment. Not HIV treatment.

Oh pardon me. My mistake. Duncan disingenuously mutters. The Arbitrator lets it pass.

Five minutes later, Duncan's at it again, Now, Mrs. Hunter, regarding your HIV treatment...

Hank is immediately on his feet, slamming his notepad and pen down on the table, OBJECTION!

Once again, Duncan insincerely voices, Oh pardon me. Mea Culpa. And once again, the Arbitrator lets it pass.

However, the third time when Duncan again launches into her line of questioning with, Mrs. Hunter, regarding your HIV treatment... Hank does not remain seated. He darts around the banquet table, stands toe-to-toe, eye-to-eye with Amazon Duncan, before the Arbitrator, shouting, OBJECTION! I OBJECT! Counsel is harassing my witness.

Duncan feigns ever the innocent. Who? What? Me?

Shouting Order! The Arbitrator sweeps the incident under the rug once again, I'm sure it was inadvertent. Directing Let's proceed.

Duncan advances Dynasty's discrimination. Adding to the discrimination by making additional demeaning and degrading remarks. Ridiculing me, as I sit before her 8-1/2 months pregnant. At one point Duncan pauses, as if weighing whether to proceed with the next question on her outline. Then, coming to a decision, she smirks and unleashes, Why did you do IVF? Does your husband have slow swimmers?

Hank is irate. Hank does not remain seated. Hank is not standing. Hank is on all fours, crawling over the banquet table behind which he was seated - I guess, adhering to high school Euclidean Geometry that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line – and is headed straight for Duncan shouting, How dare you treat my pregnant client who is shortly due to give birth, with such wanton disregard and disrespect!

The Arbitrator is banging her gavel, begging for order. From where I sit it appears Hank and Duncan both know the Arbitrator has no control over this situation. I wonder to myself, Does the Arbitrator know she has no control of her courtroom?

By now, knowing The Arbitrator will do nothing to stop Duncan, Hank lectures both Duncan and The Arbitrator on proper protocol for cross-examination and treatment of witnesses, foremost the courtesies that should be extended to a high-risk pregnant witness. He ends stating emphatically, One more slur or derogatory remark from Attorney Duncan will conclude Mrs. Hunter's testimony for the day. And for the trial.

Duncan again feigns ignorance, I thought 'slow swimmers' was just common lexicon. I didn't know it was a slur. I meant no disrespect. Honestly.

The Arbitrator falls right in line with Duncan, I'm sure it was not deliberate. I'm sure Attorney Duncan meant nothing by it. Let's continue.

I am shocked. This is a wrongful termination case alleging Discrimination and Americans with Disabilities Act violations as infertility is classified as a disability. And Duncan displays not even the slightest regard for the issue of our infertility. One would expect Dynasty's attorneys to put the best spin possible on their client's behavior, for their client's defense. Not to join in on the discrimination and harassment. Not to heap on additional discrimination in ridiculing our infertility treatment.

An old saying of my father's comes to mind to describe Decoy Duncan. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig.

5:30PM. The day finally wraps up. Duncan moves to call me back another day as she still has additional questions. The Arbitrator announces in a firm tone, Mrs. Hunter, you are excused. Thank you for your time today. Please extend my condolences to your husband on the loss of his father. And good luck with your baby. In no uncertain terms marking my departure. The Court Reporter issues the same genuine farewell.

Duncan and Bentley chime in with multiple choruses each of, Yes, yes, my condolences to Joe. My sympathies to your husband. I utter the expected Thank you. Hank walks me to my car. In the parking lot, Duncan and Bentley renew their incessant, disingenuous condolences. They’re up to four or five rounds each by now.

After their despicable behavior today, I can no longer rein in my disgust for this two-faced, predatory pair of carnivorous jackals who've spent the day feeding on my pregnant belly and my unborn child. To Hank I voice, With a little more practice they might achieve a ring of sincerity.

Tonight on the phone I see no need to upset Joe. He's tending to more important matters. Today’s events are over and done with. My tête-à-tête with Duncan is behind me. I can now look forward to Liam's arrival. I reassure Joe, Everything went well in court today. Duncan and Bentley certainly are a pair that beats a full house. But they didn't throw anything at us that Hank couldn't handle.

Joe shares his relief, You never left my mind for a second. I've been so worried about you all day. Did Hank take good care of you? I told him before I left, that I trusted him to take care of you and Liam for me today. It's been gut wrenching not being there with you today. Not being there for you.

Joe regales me with stories of Pops' Irish Wake; the outpouring of family and friends, the funny stories that were shared, all of Pops' side-splitting antics, and tall tales. Our phone call ends with laughter and loving memories.

No need to confess to Joe that Decoy Duncan's antics today could not unnerve me as I was prepared to face a certain level of attack and humiliation given earlier events that have transpired in these hearings. Here's how the Arbitration Hearing started.

Two Weeks Ago. January 14th, 2008. Lying in bed on the eve of the start of The Trial. Joe knows this four day trial will be conjured-up, personal attacks all directed at him. He's steeling himself for that. Mentally girding him for the onslaught. 9:30PM. Cher phones, Joe, Dad's not doing well. If you want to see him, you need to come ASAP. He only has a week or two. We've known Pops is slipping. Our pregnancy is at 31 weeks. We had hoped Pops would make it to Liam's birth. Now it appears he will not.

With the trial starting tomorrow Joe is relieved the wheels of justice are finally in motion. After all of Dynasty's tricks and holdups, Joe fears rescheduling. Knowing Dynasty and their attorney Deidre Decoy Duncan would welcome, and abuse, yet another delay. More so though, Joe is panic-stricken at the thought of requesting more time off from his new job. His fear being Dynasty terminated him over a personal matter (IVF benefits), who's to say another employer won't do the same. Joe has approval for these four days off and is absolutely paranoid about requesting any more time off.

In our new post-Dynasty termination reality, how can I blame him? Joe feels he must do what's best to safeguard his job, to provide for a pregnant wife, and baby on the way. So that means not making a deathbed visit to his father. Plus, Joe wants the last memories of his Dad to be happy ones; memories of our November trip there to Texas.

With all this on his mind, I rub his temples trying to relieve stress. I massage his scalp. Joe finally falls asleep. I'm amazed he can sleep at all. Knowing he's facing a firing squad tomorrow. I'm awake the entire night. Doing his worrying for him. And praying. Praying to every saint I can think of. Praying to Joe's Mom and to my Dad. Please be with Joe. Please give him strength. Please help him through tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008. Day 1. The start of The Arbitration Hearing in my husband's wrongful termination case against Dynasty Systems. We meet up with Joe's attorney Hank Strand in the hotel lobby. Hank is focused. An aura of intensity surrounds him. Joe is quiet, pensive. I look like Mother Earth in my pink flowing maternity frock and matching pink dangling beaded earrings. A tortured Mother Earth with dark bags under my eyes from last night, and the many preceding too-numerous-to-count nights of more worrying than sleep leading up to today.

I came as moral support for Joe. But, as I'm to be a witness, I'm asked to leave. I go home to sit, to worry, and to pray. Lord, please help us through this week.

Hank advised, Joe, expect to be on the witness stand today, and maybe part of tomorrow. Then the balance of tomorrow, Thursday and Friday, will be Haley followed by Dynasty's witnesses testifying.

Each day I sit home, worrying and praying. Each day's end Joe walks through the door shaking his head, I'm still on the stand. So as not to upset me, he only shares, Duncan continues to pursue irrelevant, immaterial lines of questioning. Keeping things at a snail's pace. Hank tries not to 'Object' too often because Duncan has yet to lay a glove on me, and we do not want to appear too contentious. Especially given the Arbitrator's response to such objections always seems to be 'Overruled' and 'I will allow Attorney Duncan some latitude at this time and defer ruling for a later time.' Joe's on the witness stand right up to Friday at 4PM! One hour shy of the planned length for the entire trial!

Duncan voices a variety of excuses when attempts are made to schedule remaining trial dates. The Arbitrator does little to rein in Duncan and her excuses. The trial will continue on scattered dates over the next three months. The Arbitrator's only clear cut ruling is that I be available for one day's testimony and one day only. Duncan adamantly opposes this. But, the Arbitrator stands firm. So Dean DuBoy, Joe's former supervisor, will testify on Thursday, January 31st. I will testify on Friday, February 1st. If DuBoy's testimony is unfinished, he will return on the next trial date. Which is not until March 10th. Then other witness testimony will conclude on April 9th and April 10th.

There goes our hope of having this behind us before the birth takes place.

Thursday, January 24th appointment with Dr. Velveteeno. My OB is concerned about my low weight gain. And once again there is concern for the baby. I should be gaining almost a pound a week now. I've gained 13-1/2 pounds in total. But only .4 (4/10) of a pound in the last 2-1/2 weeks.

Pregnancy-wise, I feel great. I've stopped working. I spend my time resting and reading. Only Dynasty matters upset me. Although she's put me on Zoloft to contend with Dynasty stress, my Dynasty worries and Dynasty's personal attacks on Joe, have gotten to me. She books an immediate ultrasound to check the baby. Thankfully, Liam is fine. But still, she squeezes me onto the high risk OB's Tuesday schedule.

Joe is distressed to hear once again that Dynasty is upsetting me. His answer: Off to Babies R Us we go. I'm immediately one big, fat, happy, ball of hormones! When you first buy a house you're in Home Depot just about every other day. When you're expecting, especially when it's your first, Babies R Us becomes The Holy Grail!

In the store we receive a call from Cher. Joe, Dad's not doing well. It won't be long now. I'll put the phone up to Dad's ear if you want to say any last words to him. We step outside. In the crisp January air, we say our final goodbyes to Pops. In a tender voice with tears in his eyes Joe says his final farewell, Dad, I know you're tired. I know you promised you'd stick around to see Liam. But it's OK. You don't have to. You can go if you want. Go be with Mom. You and Mom can see Liam together. I love you Dad.

Back at home that night, Cher phones, Joey, Dad passed away an hour ago with the biggest smile on his face. In all my years of trauma nursing, I've never seen anything like it. Joe's response, Because Mom was there to greet him with Dad's bowling ball in one hand and a mug of beer in the other saying 'it's all free up here.'

Joe accompanies me to see the High Risk OB. Dr. Lacasa is concerned about my low weight gain. Skipping the ultrasound tech, Dr. Lacasa jumps into doing the ultrasound himself. Confirming ASAP that the baby is fine. Being over 35, I'm considered of Advanced Maternal Age! Dr. Lacasa states, As you are of AMA, your baby is at risk for low birth weight. My first thought Well, a 7 or 8 pound baby sounds good to me. Thinking I don't understand, Dr. Lacasa explains, No. Low birth weight is 4 or 5 pounds. Not in my family it isn't. I was over 10-1/2 pounds and I wasn't even the biggest. My Uncle Jonah set a hospital record weighing in at over 13 pounds.

Dr. Lacasa's eyes widen. He takes additional measurements. Sure enough, Liam measures in ahead of schedule, at just over 6 pounds, in the 90th percentile! Essentially I'm losing weight but Liam's gaining weight and growing normally. Joe and I are awestruck seeing our baby yawn, and stretch, and blink his eyes. Sharing these moments is priceless. Dynasty falls by the wayside.

Thursday, January 31st. Joe's former supervisor, Dean DuBoy, testifies in the Arbitration Hearing appearing oddly sedate and groggy. Dazed almost. Among his memorable tidbits, DuBoy shares that he knew of our miscarriage(s). Pre-dating his knowledge to months before Joe revealed to him that a miscarriage was the reason behind Joe's inability to reschedule a much-needed already-approved vacation. DuBoy justifies, But I do not consider this prior knowledge of Mrs. Hunter's miscarriage as knowing any of the Hunters' personal medical information. Because I do not consider a miscarriage to be a medical event. He downplays it further callously stating, My wife and I had a miscarriage. And it was no big deal.

DuBoy's testimony today on Joe's performance completely contradicts his deposition testimony. Hank allows DuBoy to testify, to contradict himself for the entire morning. DuBoy is the perfect replica of a talking doll - pull the string and out comes the programmed phrases. Late afternoon, Hank begins challenging DuBoy on the incredible number of contradictions. DuBoy is unfazed, unable to comprehend the critical nature of these inconsistencies. When asked, Why is your testimony here today so different, in fact the exact opposite, from your deposition testimony? DuBoy, in the mental grip of this oddly sedate manner, and not having a canned response for this, delivers his first truthful answer of the day, On the advice of counsel, I have changed my testimony.

Hank steps away leaving DuBoy's statement to hang in the air. The dramatic pause allows everyone to absorb that declaration. Hank looks over to Duncan who appears, if not for her size, if only she could fit, she would crawl under the Defense table and hide.

The rest of the afternoon, many times when DuBoy does not have a practiced answer, he looks to the Defense table for an indication on how to respond. Each time Hank steps aside with dramatic flair, giving DuBoy a clear line of sight to Dynasty's attorneys, and waves his arm toward Duncan and Bentley, asking, Would you like to confer with counsel before answering this question too, Mr. DuBoy?

Joe comes home, relaying DuBoy's day on the witness stand. The amazement still evident. We have a quiet dinner and a somber evening. Early tomorrow morning Joe flies to Wisconsin for his Dad's services. I cannot accompany him. In my 9th month, I am not allowed to fly. And tomorrow is my turn on the witness stand.

But wait, let me explain how we got to this point!

CHAPTER 2

August 2004

TIME IS NOT OUR FRIEND. For this reason, once we make a commitment to each other and begin discussing marriage, we also begin trying to start our family. I delay my wedding dress final selection until three months before the wedding, so as to know whether any camouflaging (so to speak) is needed! There are two finalists.

My mother seeing the two options is 1,000% for the fitted A-line, beaded halter top style dress proclaiming with tears in her eyes, This is THE dress. I'll be very disappointed if you pick the other one.

How do I tell my devout Irish Catholic mother, This is my favorite too. But the other one, while more traditional and still very beautiful, is also more forgiving and camouflaging in case I'm pregnant and showing at the wedding?

I am blessed sharing this dress shopping experience with Mom. But I refrain from sharing too much. Fearful of launching her into The Rosary right here in David's Bridal Shop!

We honor Joe's parents, marrying on what would have been their 50th wedding anniversary. With an outdoor reception, I pray to my Dad and to Joe's Mom watching from Above, to take care of the weather for us. On Friday August 27, 2004, we have the most perfect day of the entire summer for our wedding and mountainside reception at The Log Cabin in Holyoke, overlooking the patchwork quilt of the Pioneer Valley.

Two months later, we celebrate another reception with Joe's extended family and friends in his hometown of Milwaukee. Joe instructs me to book around Green Bay's bye week to ensure his die-hard football fan family will attend! He is pulling my leg, isn't he?

Many receiving line mentions of relief at seeing that we did not conflict with the Packers... several reception guests sporting Green Bay Packer neckties... and even one cheesehead hat... Joe wasn't joking after all!

Months pass as we sell our condos to buy a home together. On a cold snowy February 2005 evening we have the final walk-through before closing on our new house. A 3 bedroom, 2-1/2 bath Colonial on Isabelle Drive, a quiet cul-de-sac, in a newer sub-division of Loraine, Massachusetts. We park across the street. All I can do is stare at this beautiful house. Crying. I am so happy. We will raise our children in this house. This house will make a wonderful home. We are so blessed.

For the past three days my left leg has been numb as an old car accident back injury flares up again. Needing a Physical Therapy referral, I visit my doctor. But being married now eight months and still no pregnancy, what I really want is a referral for fertility treatment. I'm a bit shy requesting one, but I tell myself that doctors have heard it all. This may be a little embarrassing for me but it's nothing to them.

Without awkward questioning, I receive a referral to Quest IVF. Feeling modest, I specifically request one of Quest's female Reproductive Endocrinologists, or IVF Doctors as they're more commonly called.

In the days before our first appointment at Quest, my supervisor Caroline, a co-worker Lucy, and I are discussing Lucy's delight that her daughter-in-law is pregnant. My supervisor turns to me half-jokingly asking, Now that you're married, you're NOT planning on getting pregnant. Are you? I side-step my supervisor's question with a non-definitive, Who knows what's in the stars for Joe and me.

With exchanges like this, thank goodness, we did not keep our less expensive individual health plans with our respective employers as I, the budget-conscious accountant, wanted. I'm now on Joe's plan through his employer, Dynasty Systems, a technology company out of Springfield, Massachusetts.

May 12, 2005. We meet with Dr. Belinda Bella Briarley of Quest IVF. A woman of extreme confidence. A beautiful blond with soft curls framing kind, understanding, blue eyes, and a big, bright Osmond-esque perfect smile. We discuss fertility treatments, the diagnostic testing needed, and agree that as I am Over 35, we will be as aggressive as possible in our treatment. We want to be parents yesterday!

Seven or eight vials of blood are drawn beginning the diagnostic workups and evaluation. I have a hysterosalpingogram - a test to evaluate the uterus via ultrasound after it's been filled with a blue dye liquid. The medical name being mammoth, I just call this The Blue Lagoon Test. I'm relieved my results are normal. Hopefully this means we're one step closer to parenthood.

I complete a Clomid Challenge Test assessing ovarian reserve - how many eggs (follicles) I have left - indicating how likely I might be to become pregnant. Blood is drawn measuring the follicle