Start Reading

Just The Orts And A Few Odd Ends: A Song Of Goblins, Worms, And General Science Fiction Humor

71 pages1 hour


God I hate writing book descriptions... just kidding. Actually, that last comment was just a naïve attempt to distract you from the obvious fact that indeed I have not mastered the art of writing book descriptions. Who cares, right? I mean I'm probably not a bad writer. It's not like book descriptions are the most important part of writing and selling a book, after all.The reality is that this short story collection is the best thing since sliced cheese. You know how you go to the grocery store and you're looking for pre-packaged pepperjack slices and you're like “WHERE IN THE HECK ARE THE PEPPERJACK SINGLES YOU FILTHY MILK DRINKERS!?!?!?!?!?” Well, that's what you were like before you found this book. Fret no longer.I'm gonna call this a space opera collection, but in fact it is much more than that. There is flash forward fiction that has little to do with the kinds of futuristic science fiction you'd find in space opera science fiction ebooks. This isn't so much serious science fiction so much as it is humor science fiction.I don't know about you, but when I was a kid all I wanted to do was read a story where there was a japanese kid who secretly built his own jet pack and laser pistol and flew to Valhalla where he kidnapped an entertainer of the gods and forced him to help him cheat at a Japanese version of the American TV Show “American Idol.” If you're like me, that story will be just what you've always wanted.This space opera collection includes a science fiction fairy tale replete with just the right amount of zeerust and and comic fantasy to make it stand out from all the other dreck clogging the depths of Amazon's search results. Step forward into the feudal future and meet Princess Nosegay!Are you one of those people who differentiates from science fiction and pretentious speculative fiction? Then you should read this book! My affinity for the latter means that I was talented and conscientious enough to include such disparate elements as poetry, riddles, and that strange malevolent architecture that this generation of video gamers was raised to love so much.Do you ever wonder what your life would be like centuries or millennia from now, day to day? Wonder no longer, for ye need not even ask, and in this volume ye shall receive a healthy dose of mundane fantastic.Most people don't pick up a short story collection and think they'll read about a cult of men who obsess over five o'clock shadow makeup while earth is invaded by psychic apes who return from outer space. And that would be because most people don't buy this book.But you're different. You're the .0001% who see through all the nonsense and make a tangible difference by doing the right thing. Here at the crossroads of science fantasy, you have a chance to taste the very best science fiction humor this world has to offer. People are rioting right now as you're reading this over how awesome this book is. I mean who could resist a book with several stories about magical worms? Isn't anthropomorphism unquestionably an irresistible form of humor? Science fiction will never be the same.In this sequel to “If Only, If Only: A Collection Of Magical And Humorous Short Stories” by esteemed indie author Lennox Mumpsfield... plenty of awesome things happen take my word for it and just buy the friggin' book. I'm sorry... was that a bit rude? I mean, you are considering the purchase of a space opera science fiction ebook by a little known author, after all.Check out the sample. Look inside!Don't judge me but these are keywords which I was too uncreative to work into the book description: science fiction humor futuristic science fiction collection humor

Read on the Scribd mobile app

Download the free Scribd mobile app to read anytime, anywhere.