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    I'm "FIXINTO" Honey.....
    I'm "FIXINTO" Honey.....
    I'm "FIXINTO" Honey.....
    Ebook64 pages51 minutes

    I'm "FIXINTO" Honey.....

    By Samuel McCall

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    About this ebook

    Growing up in the South, the deep South, provides a child with a unique perspective of the world in which we live. Words are an art form. Our view of the world is shaped by the words we use to describe it. Sometimes its an inflection that changes the meaning of what is being said. Take for instance the meaning of "FIXINTO". Well.... just open up the first page and you can learn all about "FIXINTO" and how Southerners have certainly mastered the art o' communicatin'. So, take a tour of this little read and experience the perspective of a true Southerner.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSamuel McCall
    Release dateApr 29, 2014
    ISBN9781311538444
    I'm "FIXINTO" Honey.....
    Author

    Samuel McCall

    Sam was born in Houston County, Alabama and grew up on a small farm just outside of Cottonwood where he went to school at Cottonwood High School. Eight of Sam's twenty-two cousins lived within what we would call a stone's throw from each other (a few miles). After High School, he joined the Air National Guard and served while attending Auburn University. Sam eventually earned an MBA in accounting. Sam has five children named Stephen, Caitlin, Matthew, Jacob, and Connor. Currently he resides with his wife, Ashley, in the Tampa area of Florida where he is the editor of Florida News Flash and where he co-hosts a radio talk show everyday.

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      Book preview

      I'm "FIXINTO" Honey..... - Samuel McCall

      I’m FIXINTO Honey…..

      Copyright 2014 Samuel M. McCall

      Published by Samuel M. McCall at Smashwords

      Smashwords Edition License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Table of Contents

      Acknowledgements

      Chapter One

      I’m FIXINTO Honey....

      Whar is Two Egg, Florida?

      We Should Re-Draw the Mason-Dixon Line… Honey, I’m Sorry You Ain’t Really Southern

      The Werewolf….. and the First Graders…

      Norman and the Lion

      Faulk Dome Daddy… Flies an Airplane..

      Chapter Two

      We From… A..LA..Bamaaa

      A..LA..Bamaaa Meets Painted Desert of Arizona….

      Sambo Saves Scotty at Grand Canyon.. We from A..LA..Bamaaa

      A..LA..Bamaaa Meets Chicago Gendarme…

      President Bush (Vice President at the time) Almost Meets We from A..LA..Bamaaa

      We from A..LA..Bamaaa Visits Jekyll Island Georgia…

      We from A..LA..Bamaaa is tried and true….

      Chapter Three

      Is there a Car Coming???...

      Fanning Springs Meets Spandex Clad Man Ridin’ a Wheel….

      Schools, Gun Control… and the Principle of Détente….

      St. Mary Community Recreation Center… Call 334-691-63XX for Membership Information

      Never Ask a Southerner…. Are You Scared Boy?

      About Samuel M. McCall

      Connect with Samuel M. McCall

      Acknowledgements

      Growing up in the South, the deep South, provides a child with a unique perspective of the world in which we live. Words are an art form. Our view of the world is shaped by the words we use to describe it. Sometimes it’s an inflection that changes the meaning of what is being said. Take for instance the meaning of FIXINTO. Well.... just open up the first page and you can learn all about FIXINTO and how Southerners have certainly mastered the art o' communicatin'. So, take a tour of this little read and experience the perspective of a true Southerner. Thank you Lord for allowing me to be born Southern in the land of the free.

      In addition, I would like to thank my wife, Ashley, for encouraging me to write these stories that she so loves to hear me tell over and over again. Thank you for your patience baby.

      Chapter One

      I’m Fixinto Honey…

      Being married brings a host of responsibilities.... one of which are honey do lists. You guys know what I'm talkin' 'bout. These are the things you keep puttin’ off and your wife keeps reminding you they need to be done. The correct Southern response to these requests from your wife is I'm FIXINTO. And remember, FIXINTO is one word. It's a word that evokes many connotations in the South depending on the enunciation. If it is said quick, it means you are really fixin' to do it. If it is said slow with more of a Southern drawl, which is how I normally say it, then it means I'll get to it after I take care of some other things first. Now, if you are married to a Northern woman, you might get away with this. However, if like me, you are married to a Southern woman, you are in big trouble because she knows exactly what you mean. Before she grabs a broom and breaks it over your head, go find your fishing pole and GOFISHIN. 

      Which reminds me, in the South GOFISHIN is one word. Ahwww shucks, I better stop there. 

      Whar is Two Egg, Florida?....

      It really ain’t whar it is that’s important. It’s really about how Two Egg got its name. And… yes. Two Egg is a real place. So, how did Two Egg get its name?

      First, let’s settle the question of whar it is. Two Egg is located about 23 miles South of my hometown of Cottonwood, Alabama and lies near the Alabama and Georgia State Lines. It is not far from Bascom, Florida which many times is listed

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