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Editor’s Note

“Offensively Fantastic... ”

Handler's particular brand of humor may elicit a guilt-ridden laugh as she leaves you in stitches with painfully honest tales from her own life. Offensively fantastic.
Adrienne S.
Scribd Editor
THE EAGERLY AWAITED COLLECTION OF PERSONAL ESSAYS FROM THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF MY HORIZONTAL LIFE

When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power -- vodka. You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class. Welcome to Chelsea's world -- a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense.

In this hilarious, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she's convincing her third-grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today.

Topics: Celebrities, Essays, Bawdy, Irreverent, Sex, United States of America, Family, and Female Friendship

Published: Gallery Books on Apr 22, 2008
ISBN: 9781416959151
List price: $11.99
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One of the best and funniest writers right now.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Very witty and funny!read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Love Chelsea Handler and LOVE this book. It's not for everyone, I will admit, but definitely for me and anyone sarcastic, quick witted, and who enjoys dry, colorful humorread more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Hilarious from page oneread more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Hilarious read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Hilarious read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
funny and endearing lil book, good for a laugh. read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
This book is a really good light read. Chelsea is able to accurately portray herself through the wacky and offbeat stories she tells. I frequently found myself snickering to myself while reading this book. The only downfall is that I felt as though I was reading a trashy novel. It can get a little too raunchy and I felt less educated after reading it. Overall, this was a mildly entertaining quick read, although I wouldn't share it with my mother.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
I highly recommend listening to the audio version of this book. It made it so much better. It was a very funny book and I really enjoyed it. It's a collection of stories from Chelsea's life.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
"Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" is basically a collection of anecdotes about interesting and crazy memories Chelsea Handler has from her past. The stories stretched from her childhood to adulthood, including memories like the time she convinced her 3rd grade class she was going to be in a movie with Goldie Hawn, and her first DUI, through to a hilarious vacation to Costa Rica with her father and an interesting pair of friends.It's by no means an amazing book, but good for some laughs and a quick read. If you're a fan of Chelsea Handler, it's fairly enjoyable.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
OMG. Carried this around in my purse for a few days and pulled it out whenever I needed a good laugh. Freaking hilarious. Chelsea Handler recalls some of the more outrageous moments of her life in bite-size stories. In one passage, she recounts her time in a women's prison, in another she shares her affinity for midgets, and in yet another she recounts how her then-boyfriend cheated on her ... with a Peekapoo. Her audacity is brought to life with her ability to translate the hilarity of her life into a wonderful second book. If you enjoy raunchy books that show no mercy, then there's a strong possibity you will love this bookread more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Watching Chelsea's show I haven't always been a fan of her humor but after reading her book I liked her all the more. Her sarcasm and blunt humor is hysterical. Her stories of her childhood as she made up lies to make herself seem greater are hilarious. She tells a lot of the book through short tales of various occasions in her life. Her small tales here and there kept me turning the page. She is crude and out there which makes this book not for all people. At times it can offend those for are sensitive on certain issues but in all I found it refreshing and a unconventional kind of humor that not everyone agrees with. Her very different perspective on the world makes her life interesting. The book was a quick read due to my inability to put it down.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
If you like to listen to a person drone on about how drunk they got or how many people they slept with, then this book is for you. I don't mind the subject material, but it wasn't funny. Literary equivalent of shag carpet. Read some David Sedaris instead.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
I can't write a decent review when my sides hurt from laughing...the only thing I can say is that while I enjoyed this book a great deal...my husband was not so thrilled by my hysterical laughter at 1 o'clock in the morning.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
She's kind of the female counterpart of David Sedaris, with much more sexual content. Though I bet there's a lot more explicit in her stand-up act. She reminds me of Sedaris whenever her father turns up and less frequently her siblings. Like Sedaris's parents, the father hasn't kept up with what would be called politically correct language. Then there's the Handler family's terrible habits--mostly drinking.Another very Sedarisian touch: CH recounts some rather harrowing or embarrassing episodes (a night in a women's jail after driving while drunk, for example) that don't prove to be traumatic. Even while enduring them, she probably found them more amusing than humiliating.Where she differs is that each chapter is a reworking of a stand-up routine and probably was much more entertaining in that format. Sedaris began as a monologist. Maybe he still works out his ideas that way. But what's on the page has been written for the effect in print. In short, more laughs per inch.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Each chapter of this book was akin to listening to a comedian's set. And like any routine, there were some that made me laugh and some I scratched my head on. Chelsea Handler takes vignettes from her life and turns them into comedy, no matter what...poking fun at her family, friends, and herself. In my opinion, the author is a Candace Bushnell wannabe. It's a light read and you definitely can put down and pick up this book at any time and not miss a beat.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
"Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea," started out hilarious, and by the end it lost its spark. But was an all around good read. I normally don't read non-fiction, but thought this looked good, and I like Chelsea Hanler's late night show. I recommend this book, but i will warn that what some people find funny, and humorous, some may take offense.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
The book has some extremely hilarious moments and some extremely dull moments...just like life. If you like Chelsea Handler, you will enjoy getting to know her even more. If you've never heard of her, it's a good plane-hop book.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
How did this become published? And why is it selling so many copies? While it's mildly funny, and totally sarcastic, I didn't really find any purpose to this book. It's written somewhat as a diary of experiences, none of which were exceptional.First of all, I picked this up (and a copy of My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands) on a recommendation from my sister. I happened to listen to this one before reading the first one. (I'm not sure that I'll read the other, but since it's on my Kindle and I paid money for it, I might try.) I'm aware that some people really like Chelsea. My husband for one, likes to watch her show on late night T.V. I'm not that fond of it myself, but still thought I'd give this book a try.I did finish the book, and I did occasionally laugh out loud, other than that, I can't say anything else about it. There's no real story line, and it certainly didn't leave me wanting more. I also didn't make me think, or leave me with anything. Sorry, but no recommendations for this one from me!read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
I stumbled on the E! show, Chelsea Lately, a couple of months ago, and found it quite funny. The show is a combination comedy and talk show. She usually has three comics on a panel, and they all skewer celebrities. Chelsea ends the show with a guest featured in a new movie. For a while, a “realty” show aired called After Lately, which was about Chelsea and her crew preparing for her nightly show.Her humor is not for everyone – it largely revolves around sex, drugs, alcohol, and little people, whom she refers to as “nuggets.” I decided to try one of her best-selling comedy books, which is more of the same and definitely rated NC-17. Quoting from the book would require either taking things out of context or bowdlerizing them so much the humor would be lost. She does have her moments, many of them, in fact. She is not hard to look at – quite cute, really. Try the show first – if you find yourself laughing, you will most definitely enjoy this book. I might get another for some light reading. 4 stars.--Jim, 6/15/11read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Very funny. I actually listened to it as an audiobook and have to say that I think that's the best way to enjoy the book. She reads it herself and has a perfect delivery, naturally. I accidentally inhaled my cheesy gordita crunch (love to eat when i drive) because I laughed so hard--thought I was going to wreck my car. Don't miss this one!read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
She is not anyone that I would want to be or for my kids to look up to, but I so want to be her friend. She is naughty and funny, wild and mouthy. I can't wait to pick up her next book. she is just out there. DO NOT read if you are prim and proper and think that every lady should be. Only read if you can laugh at the horrible thing that you did or said the last time you REALLY got drunk. Chelsea....CALL ME!!!!!!!read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Absolutely hilarious! I made the mistake of reading the book in public--I looked like a crazy lady laughing hysterically by myself.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
I picked this book up and read it without knowing who Chelsea Handler was. I thought the title was pretty funny (and a play on the life changing Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume). As I’ve said before, I love a good memoir, so I read it without knowing exactly who Handler was.It ended up being a good impulse grab, because I loved this book. Handler’s voice was really genuine and her accounts of her wacky childhood, boyfriends, and her career, were hysterical. This book was laugh aloud funny and turned me into a Chelsea Handler fan.If you are looking for a funny, entertaining read, definitely check out this book.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
super fast read about the escapades of chelsea handler. i did have some laugh out loud moments throughout this. for those who don't know, her humor is very dry, sarcastic and at times crass.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Mildly entertaining, but largely a waste of time.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
HILARIOUS! I laughed out loud!read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
I picked this up on a whim while house-sitting and I really enjoyed it. I definitely laughed out loud often.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Great and quick read... Chelsea is a great storyteller and while some stories may be quite a bit embellished, they're always funny. She's candid, frank and unapologetic - qualities people rarely have these days. It's refreshing and entertaining.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Filled with fun, cheap laughs, and very easy to read. Immature? Yes, but nothing more or less than what I expected from Chelsea Handler.read more
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Read all reviews

Reviews

One of the best and funniest writers right now.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Very witty and funny!
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Love Chelsea Handler and LOVE this book. It's not for everyone, I will admit, but definitely for me and anyone sarcastic, quick witted, and who enjoys dry, colorful humor
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Hilarious from page one
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Hilarious
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Hilarious
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
funny and endearing lil book, good for a laugh.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
This book is a really good light read. Chelsea is able to accurately portray herself through the wacky and offbeat stories she tells. I frequently found myself snickering to myself while reading this book. The only downfall is that I felt as though I was reading a trashy novel. It can get a little too raunchy and I felt less educated after reading it. Overall, this was a mildly entertaining quick read, although I wouldn't share it with my mother.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
I highly recommend listening to the audio version of this book. It made it so much better. It was a very funny book and I really enjoyed it. It's a collection of stories from Chelsea's life.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
"Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" is basically a collection of anecdotes about interesting and crazy memories Chelsea Handler has from her past. The stories stretched from her childhood to adulthood, including memories like the time she convinced her 3rd grade class she was going to be in a movie with Goldie Hawn, and her first DUI, through to a hilarious vacation to Costa Rica with her father and an interesting pair of friends.It's by no means an amazing book, but good for some laughs and a quick read. If you're a fan of Chelsea Handler, it's fairly enjoyable.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
OMG. Carried this around in my purse for a few days and pulled it out whenever I needed a good laugh. Freaking hilarious. Chelsea Handler recalls some of the more outrageous moments of her life in bite-size stories. In one passage, she recounts her time in a women's prison, in another she shares her affinity for midgets, and in yet another she recounts how her then-boyfriend cheated on her ... with a Peekapoo. Her audacity is brought to life with her ability to translate the hilarity of her life into a wonderful second book. If you enjoy raunchy books that show no mercy, then there's a strong possibity you will love this book
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Watching Chelsea's show I haven't always been a fan of her humor but after reading her book I liked her all the more. Her sarcasm and blunt humor is hysterical. Her stories of her childhood as she made up lies to make herself seem greater are hilarious. She tells a lot of the book through short tales of various occasions in her life. Her small tales here and there kept me turning the page. She is crude and out there which makes this book not for all people. At times it can offend those for are sensitive on certain issues but in all I found it refreshing and a unconventional kind of humor that not everyone agrees with. Her very different perspective on the world makes her life interesting. The book was a quick read due to my inability to put it down.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
If you like to listen to a person drone on about how drunk they got or how many people they slept with, then this book is for you. I don't mind the subject material, but it wasn't funny. Literary equivalent of shag carpet. Read some David Sedaris instead.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
I can't write a decent review when my sides hurt from laughing...the only thing I can say is that while I enjoyed this book a great deal...my husband was not so thrilled by my hysterical laughter at 1 o'clock in the morning.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
She's kind of the female counterpart of David Sedaris, with much more sexual content. Though I bet there's a lot more explicit in her stand-up act. She reminds me of Sedaris whenever her father turns up and less frequently her siblings. Like Sedaris's parents, the father hasn't kept up with what would be called politically correct language. Then there's the Handler family's terrible habits--mostly drinking.Another very Sedarisian touch: CH recounts some rather harrowing or embarrassing episodes (a night in a women's jail after driving while drunk, for example) that don't prove to be traumatic. Even while enduring them, she probably found them more amusing than humiliating.Where she differs is that each chapter is a reworking of a stand-up routine and probably was much more entertaining in that format. Sedaris began as a monologist. Maybe he still works out his ideas that way. But what's on the page has been written for the effect in print. In short, more laughs per inch.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Each chapter of this book was akin to listening to a comedian's set. And like any routine, there were some that made me laugh and some I scratched my head on. Chelsea Handler takes vignettes from her life and turns them into comedy, no matter what...poking fun at her family, friends, and herself. In my opinion, the author is a Candace Bushnell wannabe. It's a light read and you definitely can put down and pick up this book at any time and not miss a beat.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
"Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea," started out hilarious, and by the end it lost its spark. But was an all around good read. I normally don't read non-fiction, but thought this looked good, and I like Chelsea Hanler's late night show. I recommend this book, but i will warn that what some people find funny, and humorous, some may take offense.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
The book has some extremely hilarious moments and some extremely dull moments...just like life. If you like Chelsea Handler, you will enjoy getting to know her even more. If you've never heard of her, it's a good plane-hop book.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
How did this become published? And why is it selling so many copies? While it's mildly funny, and totally sarcastic, I didn't really find any purpose to this book. It's written somewhat as a diary of experiences, none of which were exceptional.First of all, I picked this up (and a copy of My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands) on a recommendation from my sister. I happened to listen to this one before reading the first one. (I'm not sure that I'll read the other, but since it's on my Kindle and I paid money for it, I might try.) I'm aware that some people really like Chelsea. My husband for one, likes to watch her show on late night T.V. I'm not that fond of it myself, but still thought I'd give this book a try.I did finish the book, and I did occasionally laugh out loud, other than that, I can't say anything else about it. There's no real story line, and it certainly didn't leave me wanting more. I also didn't make me think, or leave me with anything. Sorry, but no recommendations for this one from me!
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
I stumbled on the E! show, Chelsea Lately, a couple of months ago, and found it quite funny. The show is a combination comedy and talk show. She usually has three comics on a panel, and they all skewer celebrities. Chelsea ends the show with a guest featured in a new movie. For a while, a “realty” show aired called After Lately, which was about Chelsea and her crew preparing for her nightly show.Her humor is not for everyone – it largely revolves around sex, drugs, alcohol, and little people, whom she refers to as “nuggets.” I decided to try one of her best-selling comedy books, which is more of the same and definitely rated NC-17. Quoting from the book would require either taking things out of context or bowdlerizing them so much the humor would be lost. She does have her moments, many of them, in fact. She is not hard to look at – quite cute, really. Try the show first – if you find yourself laughing, you will most definitely enjoy this book. I might get another for some light reading. 4 stars.--Jim, 6/15/11
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Very funny. I actually listened to it as an audiobook and have to say that I think that's the best way to enjoy the book. She reads it herself and has a perfect delivery, naturally. I accidentally inhaled my cheesy gordita crunch (love to eat when i drive) because I laughed so hard--thought I was going to wreck my car. Don't miss this one!
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
She is not anyone that I would want to be or for my kids to look up to, but I so want to be her friend. She is naughty and funny, wild and mouthy. I can't wait to pick up her next book. she is just out there. DO NOT read if you are prim and proper and think that every lady should be. Only read if you can laugh at the horrible thing that you did or said the last time you REALLY got drunk. Chelsea....CALL ME!!!!!!!
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Absolutely hilarious! I made the mistake of reading the book in public--I looked like a crazy lady laughing hysterically by myself.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
I picked this book up and read it without knowing who Chelsea Handler was. I thought the title was pretty funny (and a play on the life changing Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume). As I’ve said before, I love a good memoir, so I read it without knowing exactly who Handler was.It ended up being a good impulse grab, because I loved this book. Handler’s voice was really genuine and her accounts of her wacky childhood, boyfriends, and her career, were hysterical. This book was laugh aloud funny and turned me into a Chelsea Handler fan.If you are looking for a funny, entertaining read, definitely check out this book.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
super fast read about the escapades of chelsea handler. i did have some laugh out loud moments throughout this. for those who don't know, her humor is very dry, sarcastic and at times crass.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Mildly entertaining, but largely a waste of time.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
HILARIOUS! I laughed out loud!
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
I picked this up on a whim while house-sitting and I really enjoyed it. I definitely laughed out loud often.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Great and quick read... Chelsea is a great storyteller and while some stories may be quite a bit embellished, they're always funny. She's candid, frank and unapologetic - qualities people rarely have these days. It's refreshing and entertaining.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
Filled with fun, cheap laughs, and very easy to read. Immature? Yes, but nothing more or less than what I expected from Chelsea Handler.
Is this review helpful? Yes | NoThank you for your feedback.
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