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    Friend Ship
    Friend Ship
    Friend Ship
    Ebook61 pages51 minutes

    Friend Ship

    By S.E. Batt

    5/5

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    About this ebook

    Intergalactic heroes suffer a lonely existence. Captain Kingsley should be so lucky.

    Captain Kingsley finds a great deal on a first-class solution. His new vessel comes equipped with hyperdrive, plenty of cup holders, and the latest in human-like AI. Maybe a bit too human, including a few annoying juvenile tendencies. ‘High maintenance’ takes on a whole new meaning aboard the universe’s first emotionally unstable spaceship!

    Even worse, the vessel’s advanced capabilities attract the attention of an alien race keen to demonstrate their prowess. When the danger is real but the intelligence is artificial, can Kingsley outwit both his enemies and his own ship?

    A humorous Science Fiction novelette at approximately 12,000 words.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherS.E. Batt
    Release dateOct 15, 2013
    ISBN9781301282432
    Friend Ship
    Author

    S.E. Batt

    S.E. Batt loves all things light-hearted and humorous. When he's not writing, he's playing video games, talking to other writers, and generally wishing he was writing. He's a proud member of the Forward Motion online writer's group, and sends all of its members a digital thumbs-up.

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      Book preview

      Friend Ship - S.E. Batt

      Friend Ship

      S.E. Batt

      Copyright 2013 by S.E. Batt

      Smashwords Edition

      Table of Contents

      1. Copyright

      2. Friend Ship

      3. Thanks

      4. Other Works

      5. Excerpt from The Invention of Crime

      Friend Ship

      ***

      The Starship Adelstein's greatest feature was the ability for its on-board computer to act exactly like a human being; its biggest disadvantage turned out to be that its on-board computer acted exactly like a human being.

      Unfortunately for Adelstein's owner, he wasn't yet aware of the current problem with his ship. Being one of the most prolific galactic heroes, he wasn't one for paperwork and procedure, taking the ship on a spin while it was still in development. As far as acquiring assets go, a hero must take it when it's not ready, steal it from a pirate, or otherwise obtain it through extraordinary means. If a hero had to purchase anything in a store like a regular human being, they did so while avoiding eye contact with anyone in the store. It just wasn't proper.

      The problem became apparent the first time the owner tried to pick up a lady in his new ride. Given that the Adelstein held an AI that was as intelligent (if not more) than a human being, it knew perfectly well of the captain's plans. Unfortunately, given that the Adelstein held an AI that was as intelligent as a human, coupled with the fact that its given gender was male, the date went very badly when Adelstein tried to woo her with talk of the algorithms he does as a day job.

      This is when Captain Kingsley knew he had made an error.

      Of course, he was stuck with it now. No matter how much he tried to convince people that his ship wasn't that bad, friends and family would always be put off by the AI that asked too many questions about them, then resorted to whining about nobody wanting to be his friend. The engineers of the Adelstein didn't want it back, given that they were shocked and surprised at the outrageous activity of an intergalactic superstar, acting very passive-aggressive to his request for repairs and demanding a full-blown apology and a box of chocolates.

      Kingsley decided to stick with his ship.

      It was a tough decision, but it was made while eating a donut for breakfast as he headed back to his ship. If it had the AI of a human, it should be able to learn niceties, manners, and how not to be socially awkward at every step. Of course, it also meant it'd have walls upon walls of stubbornness, ineptitude and ignorance to break through. It was the first time Kingsley ever thought 'he's only human' about something that clearly wasn't.

      He brushed the sugar off of his uniform. It looked like one of the old admiral suits from olden times, ensuring that he looked respectable and important to his crew, which consisted of only himself. The AI meant that no more crew was needed, which was convenient given that even one-eyed space pirates that flew the equivalent of a trash can with a warp drive eyed it with caution. Something about a ship that insisted about giving you a back-rub really didn't do anyone any favours.

      He walked towards the back door to the ship, which also acted as the entrance to the cargo hold. He didn't need to lock it. He didn't even have to close it. All potential burglars seeking to steal from the ship (or, in desperate cases, the ship itself) were quickly detected by the Adelstein's AI, which engaged its anti-intruder countermeasures by asking so many personal questions that the thieves fled out of social awkwardness. Of course, it only meant that Kingsley himself had to put up with it every time he boarded his own ship. Some days, even he had the same mind as the burglars.

      He placed a foot on the loading door. Nothing happened.

      He placed his other foot on the loading door. Nothing happened.

      Hello? he called out, against his own will. Nothing happened.

      The AI hadn't said anything. Either it was malfunctioning, or it managed to disable itself. Either way was a ripe excuse to break open a bottle of champagne and get back to piloting a ship

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