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When slighted, misunderstood, cut in front of, annoyed, taken advantage of, or treated rudely, most people avoid their bosses, ignore coworkers, change hairdressers, complain to friends, pound their fists, or rant on social media. They often miss the most positive, effective alternative of all: confronting positively. Now, for everyone who was never taught or never realized that between "bully" and "wimp" is a range of behavior that is positive, dignified, and effective for dealing with life's bothersome situations, there is The Power of Positive Confrontation.

This book teaches you the vital skills you need to confront others, communicate effectively, and live a more conflict-free life. In this updated edition, communications expert Barbara Pachter shares a practical, step-by-step guide to tackling conflicts in any situation, including a new section on navigating sticky situations online. The Power of Positive Confrontation reveals:
The consequences of not confronting or of confronting negatively
How to accurately assess what is bothering you and why
Three essential steps of polite and powerful confrontation
Vital verbal and nonverbal skills that make or break communication, including common language pitfalls
Strategies for assertive communication, whether face to face, in writing, by phone, or online
Published: Da Capo Press on
ISBN: 9780738217604
List price: $16.99
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I'm not a regular reader of self-help books, but I found this reasonably helpful and not too annoying. Pachter describes her approach to positive confrontation: tell the person what's bothering you, ask them for what you want instead, and then check up to see whether that's happened or is going to happen. This part I found helpful only in that it was a good reminder to be specific about asking for a remedy when complaining about something, because, as she points out, otherwise you might not get the remedy you want. In general, I found her tips to be good reminders of things I already knew but don't always do: don't attack someone with a "you always do this" statement because that makes them defensive, remember that a person may not realize something bothers you (i.e., they're not being a jerk on purpose), don't wait until the person has totally driven you nuts to speak up, etc. The book is an easy read, and Pachter has helpful summaries at the end of each chapter highlighting the key points. She does include some exercises, all of which I thought were too cheesy to do. Her tone is occasionally stilted, but she also has moments of humor.more
The WAC 'em technique and "Polite and Powerful" approach may seem simplistic at first, but it works and this author offers a very concise, useful treatment of confrontation management.more

Reviews

I'm not a regular reader of self-help books, but I found this reasonably helpful and not too annoying. Pachter describes her approach to positive confrontation: tell the person what's bothering you, ask them for what you want instead, and then check up to see whether that's happened or is going to happen. This part I found helpful only in that it was a good reminder to be specific about asking for a remedy when complaining about something, because, as she points out, otherwise you might not get the remedy you want. In general, I found her tips to be good reminders of things I already knew but don't always do: don't attack someone with a "you always do this" statement because that makes them defensive, remember that a person may not realize something bothers you (i.e., they're not being a jerk on purpose), don't wait until the person has totally driven you nuts to speak up, etc. The book is an easy read, and Pachter has helpful summaries at the end of each chapter highlighting the key points. She does include some exercises, all of which I thought were too cheesy to do. Her tone is occasionally stilted, but she also has moments of humor.more
The WAC 'em technique and "Polite and Powerful" approach may seem simplistic at first, but it works and this author offers a very concise, useful treatment of confrontation management.more
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