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    When I Am An Old Coot: Witticisms For People Who Refuse to Grow Old Gracefully
    When I Am An Old Coot: Witticisms For People Who Refuse to Grow Old Gracefully
    When I Am An Old Coot: Witticisms For People Who Refuse to Grow Old Gracefully
    Ebook75 pages9 minutes

    When I Am An Old Coot: Witticisms For People Who Refuse to Grow Old Gracefully

    By Roy English

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    About this ebook

    When I am an Old Coot, I will wear funny hats and loud ties, flowered underwear and bright yellow suspenders. I will break all the silly, proper rules and be a kid again. So begins a mischievous look at growing older and making the most of it. With an irreverent perspective, this absolutely hilarious book contains witticisms like these: When I am an Old Coot: "I will call 'A Current Affair' and ask them how I can order one." "I will dawdle by the cleaning lady, pretend to stumble and grab her buttocks firmly."
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherGibbs Smith
    Release dateJan 19, 2001
    ISBN9781423613107
    When I Am An Old Coot: Witticisms For People Who Refuse to Grow Old Gracefully
    Author

    Roy English

    Roy English is the author of When I am an Old Coot. In his former lives, he was a state legislator and a judge. He lives in Texas.

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      Book preview

      When I Am An Old Coot - Roy English

      When I Am an Old Coot

      Witticisms for People Who Refuse to Grow Old Gracefully

      Roy English

      When I Am an Old Coot

      Witticisms for People Who Refuse to Grow Old Gracefully

      Digital Edition 1.0

      Text © 1995 Roy English

      Flip cartoon illustrations by Steve Egan, © 1995 by Gibbs Smith, Publisher

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any means whatsoever without written permission from the publisher, except brief portions quoted for purpose of review.

      Gibbs Smith

      P.O. Box 667

      Layton, Utah 84041

      Orders: 1.800.835.4993

      www.gibbs-smith.com

      ISBN: 978-1-4236-1310-7

      To old coots and free spirits—

      long may they dance.

      When I Am an Old Coot

      Table of Contents

      Witticisms

      Witticisms

      For People Who Refuse to Grow Old Gracefully

      When I am an old coot . . .

      I will wear funny hats and loud ties, flowered underwear and bright yellow suspenders. I will break all the silly, proper rules and be a kid again.

      I will teach young children the joys of blowing Jell-O on their little friends.

      When I am an old coot . . .

      I will pierce my ear and wear

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