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    Just Another Day in Purgatory
    Just Another Day in Purgatory
    Just Another Day in Purgatory
    Ebook82 pages1 hour

    Just Another Day in Purgatory

    By River Fairchild

    5/5

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    About this ebook

    Hell freezes over. Heaven heats up. A resort springs to life on the banks of the River Styx and souls don’t want to move on.

    Nothing scares our intrepid immortals—except a run-in with a scissor-wielding Fate after messing up the Great Tapestry. She’s the only one capable of cutting their Life Threads.

    It’s just another day in Purgatory for Death and Chronos as they sort through the mayhem and keep the universe from spinning out of control. Be sure to bring along your helmet. You never know when Death might offer you a ride on his Harley.

    Step into their world. The afterlife will never be the same.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRiver Fairchild
    Release dateAug 8, 2015
    ISBN9781516363698
    Just Another Day in Purgatory
    Author

    River Fairchild

    River Fairchild is somewhat odd, brandishes a dry sense of humor, owned by several cats. Lives in a fantasy world. A fabricator of magic. Makes stuff up and spins tales about it. Believes in Faerie crossings and never staying in one place for very long. Speculative Fiction wordsmith. The secret to her stories? Spread lies, blend in truths, add a pinch of snark and a dash of tears. Escape into her world. She left the porch light on so you can find your way down the rabbit hole.

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    • 5/5
      Those of us who are addicted to the antics of River Fairchild’s immortals Death and Chronos, otherwise known as Thanatos and Time, will gladly welcome Just Another Day in Purgatory. Once again, the two old friends go from scrape to scrape with such other immortals as Gaia, War, Evil and Atropos, the fate whose “giant pair of scissors” or “abhorred shears” cut the thread of life. But a few unusual mortals such as the “irresistible” Jezebel and the haughty Jeeves play their parts to keep the fun and games going.One of the most enjoyable features of Fairchild’s Death and Chronos stories is the endless wordplay. When the guys decide to pay a visit to hell on Death’s Harley, Death says, “Even though we have the best of intentions, we’ll take the unpaved road.” And the music from Death’s sound system is, of course, the theme song from Death Takes a Holiday.Once again, Death loses the peanuts he loves in Chronos’ “anachronistic” gold-shag carpet. “Don’t fret,” Death says to Chronos during one crisis. “Time is on our side.” Death later says, “I’m neutral. Nobody escapes me in the end. I say live and let live.” After our heroes are forced to escape through Gaia’s carnivorous flower garden, Chronos needs to treat the bites on his legs. “Good thing the flowers weren’t taller,” he decides.Thank you, River Fairchild, for more Death and Chronos.

    Book preview

    Just Another Day in Purgatory - River Fairchild

    Just Another Day in Purgatory

    The Misadventures of Death & Chronos

    River Fairchild

    Copyright ©2015 by River Fairchild

    All rights reserved.

    First edition published September, 2015

    This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

    Cover art and jacket design ©2015 by Erin Dameron-Hill, Award-Winning Graphic Artist

    http://edameronhill.wix.com/edhgraphics

    Smashwords Edition, License Notes

    This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

    Acknowledgements

    To my four-footed babies

    It doesn’t help when you walk across my keyboard but I appreciate your enthusiasm.

    To my muse

    I love you, Jezebel.

    To my awesome readers

    Sharing my stories with you gives them purpose and meaning. Without you, they’d merely be words on paper. Thank you for your generous support and I hope you’ll come along with me on this incredible journey.

    I love being an independent author, able to publish stories that cross genres. One challenge, though, is promotion. If you’ve enjoyed this book, please consider leaving a review on Goodreads or one of the online bookstores. Your show of support makes a big difference.

    Join Death and Chronos on Twitter at http://Twitter.com/DeathAndChronos.

    Table of Contents

    Cold as Hell

    It’s Not All Rainbows

    Ferryman

    An Ill Wind

    The Caper

    Tea and Tribulations

    A Tangled Weave

    About River Fairchild

    Other Books by River Fairchild

    Untethered Realms

    Cold as Hell

    Death pounded on the door.

    Moments later, Chronos regretted answering the summons. A blast of frigid air swooped in and shoved him backwards. Death, seemingly unaffected by the blustery wind, sauntered inside as if nothing were amiss.

    What’s wrong with the weather? Chronos pushed against the door with a mighty heave to close it again before realizing the chill had settled into the room. Frost formed on his gold shag carpet, sparkling in the sunlight and crunching underfoot. It feels like it’s about to snow in here. Is Gaia mad again?

    The weather? I hadn’t noticed. Death ducked his skull, avoiding eye contact. A muffled sneeze erupted from the vicinity of his ribcage. His cloak flapped like a maddened bird about to take flight.

    What’s under your cloak? Chronos stared as the thrashing continued, the material tumbling back and forth. He held up a hand. Wait. Don’t tell me. I’m sure I won’t like the answer.

    Death withdrew a furry bundle from beneath the folds of his coat, juggling his squirming prize until it morphed into the shape of a cat. The bedraggled creature turned her head, blue eyes sparking with black hellfire as her gaze settled on Chronos.

    Jezebel! Chronos jumped back, seeking a safer distance from the menace cradled in Death’s elbow.

    She struck a languid pose as she snuggled against Death’s cloak, purring as one paw stretched into a show of claws. Death stroked her fuzzy head with one phalange, looking pleased with himself.

    Why did she take the form of a cat? Doesn’t she prefer the little wings of her chimaera persona? So she can fly out of here? Chronos gulped, wondering if she could read his thoughts.

    I don’t know. That’s how I found her. Would you prefer another shape? I’m certain she would oblige you.

    Chronos crossed his legs in reflex, remembering the unfortunate encounter he had with the beast under the table at one of Lucien’s poker games. Uh, no. That’s all right. Does she want a saucer of milk or something?

    Chronos edged toward the kitchen, hoping to find refuge from the dangerous menace. Jezebel hissed at him.

    Don’t upset her. She’s been through quite an ordeal. One bony finger rubbed Jezebel’s chin until she started to purr again. Do you have any sardines? She likes those, you know.

    Can we get back to what’s happening? Chronos mashed the heel of his palm into his forehead, trying to stave off the headache he always got when the weather changed abruptly. What’s wrong with the climate and what does Jezebel have to do with it?

    Her? Nothing. Death dropped his jaw in good humor, which did nothing to allay Time’s growing sense of unease. She needs a place to stay.

    Here? Chronos waved his hands out in front of him in a futile effort to negate the suggestion. What about your place? The mansion has more rooms than you can count.

    Maybe she’ll get lost in the labyrinth, he added under his breath. Jezebel snarled at him so he shut up.

    I would but you know how the Furies feel about her. Death shrugged, careful not to jostle his furry burden.

    Yeah, they have better sense than you do. Chronos picked at his lower lip, wondering how he would survive his houseguest’s antics.

    Don’t look so glum, old friend. Death lowered Jezebel onto the sofa as if she were a precious jewel. As for the weather, Lucien was in a huff and didn’t have time to do anything more than shout orders but it seems as though Hell is cooling off.

    "Why? Does he have a shortage of souls stoking the Eternal

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