Living Life with a Smile

Introduction

It can be life changing when you discover that your own thoughts and words play a major role in how joyful your life will be. Your thoughts and words determine your successes in life and affect your relationships with others. They are the foundation upon which you base your decisions and establish your own self-worth. In other words, they hold a lot of power.

And now for the good news! That means that your joy in life is not contingent on your circumstances. You get to decide how adverse situations will affect you—not the other way around. You determine how critical remarks or discouraging words will influence you. The choice is yours.

Many embarrassing and negative circumstances you face in life are similar to walking with pebbles in your shoes; or sitting on a stuffy airplane where someone is not wearing deodorant…annoying, but not life changing. Adversity cannot defeat you, but your response to it can.

Many people think their life is determined by what is going on around them. They are left feeling out of control, as they watch life fly by without any clear direction. But what they may not realize is that they are in the pilot‘s seat. They may encounter turbulence, but it will not last. It is calm on the other side of the storm.

An eagle is a great representation of how you can use the trials of life to take you to a new level. When an eagle first detects that a storm is approaching, it flies to an elevated spot and then waits for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it spreads its wings and uses the winds to catapult it upwards—enabling it to rise above. It is now out of harm’s way, looking down at the storm raging below. You also have the ability to soar above the difficulties in life and use them to your benefit. These times prepare you for the good things that are to come. As you endure, you become stronger—even though it doesn’t always feel like it when in the midst of the battle.

You have but a limited time here on this earth, so it is to your benefit to make the most of it and not let your difficulties or the ill-treatment from others steal your joy. If you establish your life on a firm foundation that is based on truth, you will know how valuable your life is. These foundational truths reveal the purpose for your life and provide direction.

You will understand the importance of your thoughts and words as you see how they affect every aspect of your life. Your mind is where the battle starts…and where it can end.

Your most valuable memories and the milestones in life are kept in your inner museum, so to speak. This museum contains your rich heritage and keeps your history alive. As you begin to see the true portrait of yourself, you will know that are an exquisite masterpiece whose value is priceless.

You were created with uniqueness like no other and are a treasure to behold. And as with anything that is of value, it needs to be protected from outside influences that may want to destroy it or steal it from you.

I share personal excerpts throughout, so that it will be easier for you to relate to my message and apply it to your own situation. Some were quite humorous; while others brought with them pain.

A true understanding for what others are facing comes from having gone through it ourselves. As a graduate from the school of hard knocks, I understand how the difficulties of life can bring you down. I also know that they can be used to bring you to victory. Your dreams can become a reality. I want to cheer you on and help you find them once again.

When you look in the mirror, I want you to like the treasure that you see.

No matter what you are facing today, you can still live life with a smile—knowing that tomorrow may hold the promises you’ve been waiting for.

Smiles are contagious—so let‘s spread them around!

CHAPTER 1

Smiling in the Face of Adversity

It can be life-changing when we discover that our own thoughts and words play a major role in how joyful our life will be. They contribute to our successes and affect our relationships with others. They are the foundation upon which we base our decisions and determine our self-worth. That is a lot of power.

So here is where we will begin—by determining just how much power we allow our thoughts and words to have, and how they affect every aspect of our life. If we journeyed back in time, we would see how our incorrect thoughts played a big role in what we are experiencing in life today. How we handled our adversities in the past provides insight into the outcome we can expect for our future—unless we make a change.

We can use our words to prophesy good or bad in our life. They can be used to build up or to destroy; to bless or to curse; to speak love or to speak hate. They provide our communication tool to the world and are governed by our thoughts. Our thoughts and words tell us who we are and how important our life is. They tell us where our value lies and what others think of us. They help to define our character and influence our choices that will affect our tomorrows.

There is only one problem. Our thoughts are not always truthful. They can be swayed by the opinions of others and can change at any given moment. They are unreliable, yet we may choose to rely on them. They are shaky, yet we build our foundation on them. They can be inconsiderate and selfish, yet they influence how we treat others. Our thoughts are not based on facts or what is true. They are only thoughts…yet we give them more authority than they deserve. According to one dictionary meaning, our thoughts are ideas, plans, or opinions produced by mental activity. In other words, there is no validity to them, nor are they rooted on a firm foundation. They are ideas we conjure up in our mind, and then they become the basis for our life.

As we realize the truth behind our thoughts, we can now decide how much power we will allow them to have. We have the ability to control what we are thinking and the words we speak. That is good news! That means that no matter what comes our way, we can remain stable. We can think on thoughts that will strengthen us and help carry us through those tough times. We can come out of our hardships unscathed and be a better person than we may have thought possible.

How Our Feelings Affect Us

Our feelings are another factor that affect our thoughts and words. Oftentimes our feelings govern what we think. Feelings are an emotional state and have similar weaknesses that our thoughts have. They are not reliable and can change on a whim. They can be moody and are not to be trusted. The more our feelings are in control, the more we empower them. If left on their own, they could rule over our better judgment. Our feelings are meant to be enjoyed—not to determine our choices. We can feel one way, yet choose to think or act a different way. Our feelings hinder us from overcoming hardships by making things look worse than they really are. In other words, they can exaggerate the situation. They may tell us that everything is going wrong in our life, or that we should feel embarrassed or ashamed of our circumstances. They can tell us that we are being rejected, when we really are not.

When someone is not treating us kindly, our feelings can lead us astray and stamp reject on us. They do not allow for what the other person may be dealing with in their own life. Our feelings have a tendency to pick up on the negative in situations. The bottom line… our feelings are oftentimes wrong. If we look at our life through our emotions, we take our eyes off what is true. They can leave us discouraged and put a dent in our self-esteem. But thank goodness… we do not have to listen to our feelings. They do not determine our reality. We get to choose how much they will affect us, because after all… they are just a feeling.

Changing How We Think

As we begin to understand our thoughts and emotions more clearly, it becomes easier to face our negative circumstances; or those times when we experience one problem after another. This keeps us from questioning why this had to happen to us; or comparing our situation with that of another. When we build our life on a firm foundation based on truth, we can be free from thinking that something bad is going to happen. As long as we are on this earth, we will encounter adversity, so learning to deal with it constructively is to our benefit.

We may go through seasons of tough times that seem to last for weeks, months, or even a year. If we view them incorrectly or rely on our feelings, they could begin to tear us down and leave us in despair. The foundation of our thoughts and feelings has no substance. It cracks under pressure and falls apart easily when facing difficulties. When we are in the midst of those tough times, it is important to guard our thoughts. We hold on to the belief that our adversities are not here to stay, and can actually be to our benefit.

An eagle provides a great illustration of how this can be done. When an eagle first detects that a storm is approaching, it flies to an elevated spot and then waits for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it spreads its wings and uses the winds to catapult it upwards, enabling it to rise above the storm. It is then out of harm’s way… looking down at the storm raging below.

Difficulties in life cause us to soar higher and can be used for our good. The storms we face prepare us for the promotions that lie ahead. As we view our adversities from this new perspective, it allows us to enjoy our journey. We will know that our happiness is not contingent on our outward circumstances. Living life according to our circumstances is like being on a roller coaster. We are up when things are going our way…and down in the dumps when they are not. This kind of living rocks our stability and leaves us worn out.

I know…I have been there. Having faced one setback after another, they started affecting me adversely. It did not take me long to realize that it was time for a change. I had to go back to the foundational truths about life. These truths provide the strong foundation upon which we stand. They encompass the reason we were created and show us how to live a victorious life by revealing the many falsities we have come to believe.

The truth is…we do not have to live by our circumstances or any thought that pops into our mind. We can find peace and be successful while in the midst of our tough times. The truth is…we were created with an individual plan for our life that cannot be compared to anyone else’s. The truth is…what we are experiencing will ultimately work out for our good…if we allow it. Will we choose to follow the truth or our fickle thoughts and feelings?

I encourage you to rise higher…to mount up with wings of eagles and let your adversities take you to a new level. You can look down at the turmoil around you and know that it will not harm you.

It is comforting to know that we are not a victim of our circumstances; nor is it a given that they will affect us adversely. When we remain positive while in the midst of tough times, we keep them from pulling us down. This also helps us to feel better about ourselves.

Changing our thoughts and the words we speak is not going to be easy. Far from it. Just because we decide to make a change, that does not mean it will happen quickly. It took a lifetime to develop the bad habits in our thinking, and it will take time and effort to break the cycle. The good news is that we have what it takes to make this change. We do not have to let our incorrect thoughts and feelings rule.

We Project to Others What We See in Ourselves

As we begin to see ourselves in a more positive light, we will find that people are drawn to us as we unveil our captivating personality. We project to others what we see in ourselves. When we see ourselves as good, others will as well. As our focus moves from our weaknesses to our many strengths, we can stop thinking that there is something wrong with us. Our adversities can become a stepping stone to our successes; rather than something we dread.

Many times, we are not even aware of how we are coming across to others; or how it is affecting our relationships—but we find out quickly from the responses we get back—whether we are accepted or rejected. When we do not respect ourselves, we make it harder for others to respect us. Just like an echo…the message we send out comes back to us. When we are ashamed of who we are, it is like punishing ourselves daily. We push ourselves further into the pit of negativity. It is time to come up to a new level of thinking.

Our thoughts and words affect every aspect of our life and influence our dreams for the future. We can choose the thoughts we think and push away those that are detrimental to our well-being. As we reject critical words or the hurtful actions of others, we keep the offense from replaying in our mind. This can be compared to the firewall in our computer. It protect against anything that wants to harm it by blocking it out. We can do the same in our thinking. We can determine what is allowed in and what will be discarded. This wall will become impenetrable as we continue to strengthen it. Critical and discouraging remarks from others can get rejected and tossed into our spam file. Guarding our thoughts keeps us from living our life based on our outward circumstances or the opinions of others. We can learn to smile at our troubles, as we know they too shall pass. We will experience a new level of freedom where our past hurts no longer affect our today. As we shake off feelings of discouragement and defeat, we can let go of what lies behind and experience triumph in our thinking.

Our Expectation Level

Our expectation level is another area that affects our thinking. Are we expecting things to turn around in our favor, or are we expecting more trouble? I experienced times when what I was expecting actually came to pass. As I look back, I realize that my own words and actions were a factor in causing the situation to happen. I got what I was expecting. I learned pretty quickly that I was better off to expect something good, rather than to expect something bad to happen. We keep our hopes alive when we expect things to turn around in our favor. If we believe something to be true—even if it is not true—it becomes true for us. In other words, if we believe that we are unworthy or lacking value, it becomes our reality. The truth is greater than our feelings, yet so often we allow our feelings to dictate what we believe. The words we speak about ourselves are very important. Speaking negative words causes us to dwell on our limitations and leaves us feeling defeated. Positive words provide the building blocks that cause us to come up higher.

It all comes down to making a choice. We are faced with choices every day. Some are difficult, while others may be as simple as appreciating a new day. As we wake up in the morning and see the sun shining and hear the chirping of the birds, we are glad for this new day. But what if we woke up and found that the sun was no longer shining and there was darkness all around? Our choice to enjoy our day would now be more difficult. That is how it is for people that are downcast. The weight of their problems causes them to see only darkness, or what is bad in life, and they cannot see the sun’s radiant light or the warmth it provides. In other words, they find it difficult to see the good in life. They only see what is bad and have lost their joy.

If you are in the midst of hard times right now and are seeking encouragement—I am here to give it. I encourage you to make a choice to learn to smile again. I will be cheering you on to push past what you may be feeling right now and to look forward to the better life that is in your future.

As you improve how you are thinking about your problems, you will begin to see your life improve. It will not happen overnight. There is a transition that needs to take place, and there is no set formula for success. What may work for one person may not work for another. What is important is that you take that initial step toward making a change. Think about standing on a cliff of a resort island where there is a beautiful pool of water at the bottom…just waiting for you to jump in and enjoy it. If you take the plunge, maybe screaming the entire way, you will find yourself laughing and having a good time in the end. You will be quite proud of yourself…knowing that you overcame your fear and took the challenge. As you climb back up to do it again, it will be much easier, because you know what to expect. On the other hand, if you keep putting off that first jump and let your fears keep you on the edge, just staring down, the harder it becomes. The longer you stand in uncertainty, the more likely you