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Repo Man: Saucer Theft

26 pages25 minutes


The next step in my operation requires a bit of explanation. If you want to attract moths, you need a bright light. If you want to attract hot rodders, you need something like my truck. My truck may look like junk to you, but it has a turbo 454 rat motor and a full race car suspension. It's a very fast hot rod.
I cruise in to The Starting Line and purchase coffee and a burger. I park my truck in an open spot and pop the hood open. Suddenly, I'm an instant celebrity or at least my truck is!
The hot rodders are drawn, like moths to a flame. One of then opens the conversation with, “A 427 with twin turbos?”
I lecture, “A hand assembled 454 with twin turbos, roller cam, magic port work, turbo designed headers, aftermarket fuel injection and a crank trigger ignition system. Of course, I don't street race (wink, nudge, nudge.)”
Another hot rodder chimes in, “Of course not, we're all safety conscious.”
“Yeah, unless some idiot reeeeely needs a lesson. I hear LS7 Corvettes don't go.”
“I'm kind of lookin' for my buddy. He's a limo driver and he lives somewhere around here.”
One of the guys says, “Some guy cruisin' the area, late night. Drives a big limo with dark windows. Lives out on Ranch Road, big red barn.”
“Gots to look him up. He got a built mouse motor, belongs to me.”
I then finish my burger and my coffee and dump the remains in a trash can. With my target identified, I cruise down to Ranch Road and look for a red barn. I find a red barn and then kind of dilly dally around the area, until it starts to get dark.
The farm house with the barn shows no lights.
I drive my truck back along Ranch Road and park it down a dark side street. I then walk back to the red barn farm house. As I approach the farm house, I detect signs of movement, from inside the house. I duck down a dirt road, that's on the other side of Ranch Road from the farm house.
Several very tall, very thin, dark shapes then exit the farm house and start toward the dirt road, where I'm trying to hide.
(I always keep myself in very good physical shape. In my business, the ability to outrun angry people may be necessary for me to survive.) I start down the dirt road, at speed. As I run, I'm looking for a place to dodge off to the side and hide, but no such luck. I run over the top of a slight rise and find a long straight road with a very dim, sort of semi-visible shape off to one side of the dirt road. I have a hunch that I know what the very dim shape is and, with no other place to go, I run toward the dim, shifting shape.
As I approach the dim shape, some sort of door in the bottom of the shape begins to open. The door is a large, maybe cargo door. I run up the cargo door and into the dim shape. I run into what appears to be an empty room. At the far end of the empty room a door opens and a tall, thin idiot comes out into the empty room to see who it is.
Tall thin idiot maybe thinks that I don't belong in whatever it is that I'm in, but I got rights here and I also got a good working left. Tall, thin boy goes down hard. I then throw tall thin boy out and use a lever near the outer edge of the structure. The big cargo door begins to rise up and close against the rim of whatever it is that I'm in.
I go into the door, where tall, thin boy came out of, and find myself in the control room of some kinda aircraft. The controls don't have writing, they have pictures!
(I'm in a vehicle. I repo vehicles for a living. It aint the first time that I had to figure out how to start and drive away in an unknown vehicle.)

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