LeanRx: Results May Vary by Jordan Page by Jordan Page - Read Online

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LeanRx - Jordan Page

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#RedFalls).

PART I:

RESULTS MAY VARY

On November 15th, 2014, I saw Mrs. Granger looking for food in my garbage after dark; it wasn’t the first time or the last. She didn’t find any because I don’t waste food nowadays. But, on a positive note: she weighs a little over three-hundred pounds now. That’s good. She’s finally getting her weight under control.

When she realized she wouldn’t even find a crumb of bread, she sort of shambled away like a wounded walrus with a spear through its side. It was forty-degrees outside in Mellow Hills—that’s our subdivision—but she wore nothing but an undersized pink summer dress that stuck tightly to her rotund, lumpy body like some kind of grotesque-looking latex.

At least she was polite when she dug through our trash; she minded our wishes and didn’t throw about our garbage like a rabid animal. Not anymore.

You see, a few weeks ago, all of us who hadn’t taken LeanRx, or contracted it secondhand (oh boy, it’s cigarettes all over again), had a little chat over at the Granger household. We wore those cheap little respiratory masks you buy at Wal-Mart or drugstores, because we’re not stupid (although recently experts said they weren’t that safe anyway), and Bill secretly hid a .45 in his pants at the waist—you know, just in case. That’s when we all politely confronted her with her husband in the room;

"if you’re going to dig through our garbage at night, then do it more discreetly. And