Help, I've Been Abducted by an Alien! by Juliet Cardin by Juliet Cardin - Read Online



Jen joins an alien-abductee group in order to secretly write an article on the subject. Her plans take an unexpected turn when she encounters a UFO in her neighborhood park and gets abducted for real. Lysander, her sexy captor, informs Jen he's not taking her home. Earth, he confides, is soon to be impacted by an asteroid and then invaded by a hostile lizard race. Jen is determined to find a way to escape Lysander—who is hell-bent on having her for himself—and return to Earth, before it is too late to prevent its annihilation.
Published: Torrid Books on
ISBN: 9781633555761
List price: $2.99
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Help, I've Been Abducted by an Alien! - Juliet Cardin

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Chapter 1

The thing that stands out most in my memory is the probe. They stuck that thing everywhere. My ass, my pussy, my mouth—not in that order, thankfully, but still…

Jen. Can we please refrain from using profanity? Sam interrupted.

Dana turned pitch red in the face, along with two other old biddies in the circle, while John fanned his notebook frantically before his face.

I got the probe, Dave said.

Yeah, sure you did, fucker. Trying to steal my thunder as usual.

Where'd they put it? I asked. Last week he'd said his bum. Week before it was between his toes—as if.

Same as you, he answered, a stupid smirk on his face.

"Oh, stuffed it in your pussy, did they? And how'd that feel?"

No, not there. The other places though.

I leaned over in my chair, drilling him with a direct stare. Are you sure, Dave? Really sure it wasn't just another sleep paralysis episode?

Sleep paralysis is a perfectly reasonable explanation for many so-called encounters. It's nothing to be ashamed of. At the time, your experience can feel very real and very frightening, Sam reminded us all for the hundredth time.

He was leading this little group. The Alien-Abductee Support Group, to be precise. The ad in the local paper had provided me with an excuse to get out on a Friday night. The first night had been so off-the-wall I'd been inspired to write an article about alien abduction for Space & Beyond magazine titled Are We Alone? It was my first crack at tackling a serious story—as serious as alien abduction could be. But these whack jobs really took this shit seriously.

What if, when my baby's born, they come back to claim him? Chantel's nervous hands massaged her massive belly. She was due in two weeks and swore on her life she'd had no relations with any male on Earth. She said she'd been abducted right before she got pregnant and told the group she'd had a particularly sexy encounter with a faceless shadowy dude while she lay there paralyzed.

No one's gonna take your baby, Hannah scoffed. Don't you know this is their plan? Inseminate as many women as possible and breed out Human existence. It's foolproof and no one would suspect it.

It totally explains why Human intelligence rates began to soar the past one hundred years, Roy said.

Yeah, I passed a whole shit load of brainiacs on the way in here, I agreed. Granted, the church basement we met in was on the shadier side of town.

The majority of Earth's population is increasingly academic, Roy asserted.

Sam held up his hand. Folks, we're getting off topic here. We're supposed to be talking about our own individual experiences, not theorizing about alien conspiracies.

But my being pregnant is a personal experience with an alien who inseminated me for nefarious purposes and is no-doubt planning to swoop down the moment Frederick is born and whisk him away in his spaceship.

Frederick? With a name like that you better hope he leaves the planet, Dave mumbled.

What'd you say?

He didn't say anything important, Chantel, Sam assured her.

Sam's right. And if I remember correctly, it's my turn and I was discussing the probe…

What is it with you and the probe? Hannah demanded. We've all had the bloody probe.

I certainly have not, Dana objected. The other two old biddies nodded their heads in agreement.

Then you're missing out, I informed them. Best orgasms of my life.

You came? Hannah asked.

Didn't you?

No. Well, maybe one time. I was too friggin' scared.

I came every time, despite being scared. I swear the thing vibrated right on cue. Half the group nodded their heads, pretending to take me seriously, while the other half looked indignant. What a bunch of tight-asses. It wasn't like any of this shit was for real. Every single person in this room was full of crap and they knew it—we all knew it. Just a bunch of losers with nothing better to do on a Friday night than make shit up. At least I had an article to write. This was bona fide research. And after tonight I'd have enough material to finish. Then I'd submit it and hopefully they'd pay me big bucks to print it.

After listening to Alice drone on and on about the twinkling lights appearing once a month in her backyard whenever the moon was full, the meeting wrapped up. When I stepped outside, I wrapped my light jacket around my front to shield me from the cool night air. The damn zipper had broken in April and I hadn't bothered to replace it or spring for another coat. Once I left town I'd buy something more fashionable. I kept my eyes alert as I strode down the street pretending to be tough. The last thing I needed was my head bashed in and my wallet picked by some jerk-off.

Keeping to the sidewalk, it takes exactly twelve minutes to reach my third-floor walk-up from the church. Since it was a chilly evening, I decided to take the direct route and cross through the park instead. Aside from the odd bum, the park was the only decent thing this corner of town had to offer. The park was completely fenced and the only way in was through one of the ancient archways placed at either end of the area. I passed beneath the archway,