The Wanderer's Diary Book 5 by JJ Nortyperson by JJ Nortyperson - Read Online

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The Wanderer's Diary Book 5 - JJ Nortyperson

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Introduction

This is the fifth book in the Wanderer's  Diary series. This book starts on January 1st 2013, the beginning of my last year on the streets.

The crash into depression that started at the end of 2012 continues but in 2013 I actively seek help and attend counselling, psychological therapy and a course run by MIND.

This book has a month's gap from February to March where I made my first effort to stop sleeping rough, but it lasted exactly a month and I became too distressed and returned to rough sleeping, in the meantime the Church of England re-launched their attack on my life.

That first effort to leave the streets was documented in my book 'The Girl and the Island' which at the time of writing this is only available on request and is not in public circulation.

When I was transcribing and reached the point in the diary in 2013 where I was traced by the Church abusing the police for their own aims, I became distressed and had to stop working on the book for a while. You will see the sharp and terrible change in my life as the church launch on me and the battle begins.

We are approaching the end of the Wanderer series now and the next book, the sixth book will be the last.  The story continues then through two other series, 'The Anything and Everything' Series, which is about the Church War, and I can't recommend it as it is very unpleasant, and the other series, of which only the first is published, the 'Home series' , the first of which is 'Coming Home', documenting my first three years after leaving the streets and how I rebuilt my life. The second book 'Homecoming' is still being created as it is lived.

I hope that the stories continue to entertain you. This book is dedicated to Mike Harris, with thanks for his support, and Sue Harley, and David and all at the lunch club. Also to Breakfast in a Bag, the wonderful London charity who help the homeless.

01/01/2013

Happy New Year peeps,

Yesterday I was worried about surviving the night, it was a rainy night and nowhere to go.

I went to the pub for a cuppa but a drunk lady decided she wanted a quarrel, so that was no good.

I wandered around and found that trains were still running and caught a train for a while.

Thankfully the burger vans and 24 hour cafes were also running as normal so I managed to get enough tea.

The time crept up towards 11pm, which is currently my normal bed time, and time crept on so I went down to the waterside and sat and waited, then I got my radio out and listened to that.

Soon 'Auld Lang Whatever' was on the radio and then the countdown.

Then all the fireworks went off across the water and all around, I could see fireworks for 360 degrees, up on the hills, over the town, over the water, fireworks everywhere, and loads of Chinese Lanterns. Beautiful.

So it was New Year and whatever.

I wandered dozily along the quay wall, there were also some polis on the quay wall, they were probably posted to stop silly people from jumping or pushing each other.

I said 'Happy New Year!' to the police, and they looked up, startled, and returned the greeting, they didn't look happy, but that is probably because their year ends and starts with the mess caused by revellers.

I wandered up to the church, listening to the church bells on the radio, I had ringing in my ears, haha.

And I hid behind the church and had a pee, excuse me, how naughty of me.

My friends had been doing a New Years Vigil service at church and came out and handed me a tub of Pringles and I dived into the back of the car and off we went, off the crazy New Years Streets.

02/01/2013

Good morning peepz,

Yesterday morning I woke up at 10am at my friends house, I hadn't even been drinking, I guess I was just tired. We had got home at about 1.10am on New Year's day, just because they had been running a church service to see in the New Year, and I had to stay up because I wouldn't get much sleep with drunken revellers running about, so I went home with my friends after their service.

I went to the post office and the beach and loads of people were out, but not many were saying 'happy new year!' to other people as they used to.

I stayed at their house until lunchtime-ish and then they dropped me off in one of the towns to get a connection to wherever I was going next.

I went down to the ferry and got the ferry and the train and went walking for a few hours along the cliffs and the shore, lots of people were out and about but again they weren't saying 'happy new year!'

My legs were hurting by the time I headed back, and I arrived back in town by about 7.30pm, and found one more sticker and got a cuppa in McD's.

Eventually there was nowhere to go and nothing to do so I went and set up a camp, two sleeping bags and some handwarmers to keep me warm, and my little lantern for light, I lit the stove and cooked some soup and then some pasta and then I brewed some tea, I read a bit of my book and boiled the handwarmers.

Never get 'reusable handwarmers' if you are homeless, they last  30 minutes at most, are not very warm and have to be boiled to be reused, not much use to a homeless person, while disposable handwarmers last up to 10 hours and generate a lot of heat.

So I sat and had my supper and went back to my cavewoman roots, apart from reading my book, which is not a caveperson thing. I used up the last of my stove fuel, oh no! Arghh.

Then I went for a walk and eventually it was bed time.

I tucked up in the blanket pile, it was a cold night and it took me time to get comfortable but eventually I slept, I don't think I slept well, but I woke at about 7.40am and scrambled.

Was relieved to know that life returns to normal today and I have survived what is the worst week for any homeless person, Christmas week.

The problem was that I had no cash left and I had to wait until 9am to get my last £2.70 out of my post office account.

So I sat in the church garden a while and then went and reluctantly changed out of my thermals and washed myself.

Eventually the post office opened and I got my last bit of money (until tomorrow) and got a cuppa from McD's.

I wandered up the road but the place I wanted to go was closed so I went over to the cheapo supermarket to see if I could get some bargain food. I got four cheese topped rolls and some biscuits - yes, I bought biscuits, I must be ill.

It seems as if the whole church is in the supermarket at that time of day so I got comments like 'is that your breakfast?' - well, yes it is, and my lunch and supper! haha.

So I went back to see if the place was open and it was, it is a MIND centre, I like MIND, I used to go to them as a 'socially isolated person' because of my Asperger Syndrome when I was younger, but the MINDs in the other towns I have been in were often oversubscribed and couldn't help much.

This MIND is able to help, and they made me very welcome and put the kettle on, which is always a good thing, and registered me on a WRAP course, I hope it means they will wrap me in bubble wrap and put me in a quiet corner to snooze. No, I need help with the depression and horror, the recent depressive episode has scared me.

Burger man gave me a free cuppa and wished me a Happy New Year.

Here I am, writing.

I have just been out for a walk, bumping into people and sewing things back up after having such a bad patch.

I bumped into my angelic old friend and he asked if I had been writing and I said I hadn't, I asked how he was and he said 'close to death' which isn't a joke as he has cancer, but he told me that sad news that the man from church who had a stroke had passed away, and another lady from church is in hospital.

I went to get a cuppa with the last handful of loose change, but the burger man let me have my cuppa for free, and as I sat on the bench feeling tired and wondering if I could sit there all day, a dear Christian couple who I have known for years but rarely see, came along and offered a joyful greeting and we talked about the whole world and they offered me some money and this time I accepted, they used to offer me money in the days that I wouldn't accept.

So I have enough to get me through the day.

Some woman was trying to sell me a plastic flower as a 'lucky flower' but I told her I was homeless, she was trying to sell everyone this lucky flower and I don't know how she thought she would sell a plastic flower to anyone. She wasn't homeless.

I was feeling dizzy so I took some inhaler and sat for half an hour.

It is colder and wetter than the earlier forecast.

Evening, peeps,

The week after next I start the course to help me recover from depression and trauma etc, and I also have the psychology appointment that week, after the other one next week was cancelled.

It is much easier having the psychology appointment in two weeks, and it is a cheaper appointment with a different clinic but still with someone who specialises in AS and trauma.

Please pray that this time nothing prevents me from getting the help I need.

Thanks.

03/01/2013

Good morning you funny old peeps,

Well why are you reading my blog if you aren't funny old peeps then?

I forgot to do any New Year's Resolutions. Good. Too late now!

I could quit smoking, only I don't smoke.

Anyway.

Yesterday I was extremely uninterested in computing and was glad when the library closed.

I went to the cafe and read the paper.

Then I wandered around and tried to make time pass, because they have changed the evening tickets on the buses so you have to wait until later to get a cheap evening ticket.

Eventually it was time for bus rides and I rode around on the buses and stopped to get tea and put my thermals on as it was actually colder than forecast.

Eventually I wandered back to my bedding and as it was forecast mild and dry I didn't wait to go to my porch but slept in my corner in the blanket pile, tucked up snug and comfy I slept peacefully until the alarms on my phone went off.

Then I staggered into McD's for my breakfast.

Then I went shopping, I got toiletries and new foam pads and new orthotics, maybe walking will be a bit more comfortable now.

I sat in the corner of the cafe and grumped at the world while I waited for the library to open, my friend came in and waved hello but she sits in her corner and I was in a sitting alone mood.

I was talking to my other friend by text, she wants me to go to London, argh.

When I got up to go to the library she said hello and told me my article was in the church magazine.

Argh. Anyway, that is my third church magazine article about homelessness.

Why would anyone want to read about homelessness?

Anyway I stopped to talk for a minute and then here I am.

Last night was indeed mild and I was ever so warm and comfy when I woke this morning.

It is an exceptionally mild day.

My jeans stink.

Hi peeps,

I'm hungry.

Hm.

Today after sitting in the library a while I swapped towns, the town a few miles down the road is a change of scene, and I went shopping briefly, including knickers as I was smelling, and I can't get away with washing and drying my knickers in the loos here.

So I did my shopping and had a wander, and then parked myself in the library where I am quietly sitting and working.

Earlier I heard a load of rubbish from someone.

A chugger trying to get money off me, to which my reply is 'I'm homeless'

So she tried to tell me a load of ill-informed nonsense about Shelter.

She tried to tell me that you can go to the council to contact shelter and that they help everyone except criminals and that there are lots of Shelter helplines.

What nonsense, and Shelter is ineffectual and of no use to me.

04/01/2013

Morning peeps,

Everything is very quiet in computer world, no emails, no blog stats.

I slept on the rug and woke up a bit groggy and hot.

Not sure I understand the living indoors thing.

Do you all live indoors? Don't you get hot?

If you live outdoors then please don't steal my sleeping places or I will tip water over you in the night.

It's Friday and I don't want to go to London tomorrow.

I came here because the flashbacks and depression make me afraid of being alone sometimes. Not because I will do anything but just because I get overwhelmed.

Hi,

I am supposed to be going to London tomorrow, therefore I have moved towns because I am meeting my friends in this town tonight to go to London tomorrow.

I am sitting in the library dreaming about a house with a washing machine.

The weather is remaining mild and cloudy almost as if there is no winter any more.

Hey peeps,

After the library closed I went to KFC, because they do surprisingly good coffee.

Then I went and met with my friends and here I am at their house, bathed and fed.

We will set off early tomorrow for London.

06/01/2013

On Saturday morning my friend woke me from a dream, I was dreaming that my friend had capsized on rocks and texted me and I went to rescue her, her boat was flimsy and mine was strong.

I woke up and remembered she had been in a car crash years ago.

So my friend and I set off for London.

London was ok, with none of the stresses I had anticipated.

We had a good day and I got some gardening done.

I came home on the drunk train, which was almost empty due to people having spent all their money at Christmas.

I got to sleep at 2am this morning.

07/01/2013

Good morning peeps.

I didn't sleep until 2am on Sunday morning and was up early as well,

I had my breakfast as usual and continued to get used to no church on Sunday.

I don't miss it all that much, it is just somewhere to be, and often a painful place to be.

So on Sunday I sat in the coffee shop a lot, read the papers, read some of a book.

In the afternoon I wandered off, wandered a lot, forgot it was Sunday and wondered what was happening in a church, well it was an evening service. I didn't stop and join in.

I got back late last night but not late enough to go to my porch. I went to sleep in my corner as I was tired, and it started raining at about 4am but only lightly, I was in and out of sleep and dreams. my blankets got a bit damp.

Got up at about 6am and went to McD's, then went for a walk with my radio.

Here I am.

It would be so much easier for me and other people if I was more in control of my depression.

Well as you know, I am trying/waiting for the help.

I am at my friends' house, and have had the longest bath in history but that overheated me so I got a bit sick and had to med up. Had a lovely dinner even so, and here I am idly nattering to you.

There was no plan for me to be here today but there was my friend walking up the road after a meeting and I got borrowed. we got a lift here from someone.

I am sleepy but I want to do some typing.

08/01/2013

Good morning peeps,

I staggered off the rug all dehydrated and hopped to the loo,

and there was a cuppa tea waiting for me when I came back.

I have had some cuppa teas and some toast.

It is a mild day with no weather.

Hi peepypies,

I caught the bus with my friend this morning, she was going into town to shop and I was wandering homewards.

I got home and the community group was running, so I had some fizzy pop and chatted to people and had my nails painted, as you do.

I had some lunch and was pleased that whatever was troubling my friend seemed a bit better, I thought I had offended her, even though she wasn't someone I got upset with at Christmas, but she told me that she was just having a hard time looking after her brother. She is a saint, it must be incredibly stressful for her.

Anyway, after lunch I went to have a bath at the flat of one of the group members, I had a bath and a coffee and a chat with her and her partner, they told me about their daughter who had been taken away from them at birth, which was sad.

Then off I wandered to my storehedge to get some spare clothes as my friend is going to wash my jeans later.

Then I went to the next town and have been peacefully sitting here listening to the radio on headphones and reading and doing online self-help thingies.

The forecast is rain.

09/01/2013

Hi Peeps,

Last night it rained and I wandered about but my friends happened to be around with a car and so I wandered into their car and came back to sleep on the rug last night.

This morning we have had breakfast and lots of tea and here I am, blissfully doing useful things like writing the blog and doing the mood tracker, which says that my mood is much lower than yesterday but I don't feel bad, I think it is just too early in the morning and my emotions haven't woken up yet.

Hi peepys,

Earlier I helped my friend deliver island newspapers, just to continue to prove that my life is very random and varied.

Eventually we came back here and I returned to my daydreaming in the library.

When the library closed I went down to the church and borrowed their loo and busily did some adoration before wandering off, and walking about five miles.

The problem with the five mile walk was that my stomach got upset halfway and my leg was dragging.

Humpf :(

Anyway I made it back here with no accidents, exploded in the loo at McD's and here I am blogging.

The forecast is for worsening weather.

10/01/2013

Good morning you peeps you!

Hm.

I went to bed early last night because I was tired. It was not a good arrangement because it was too early to go to my porch and so I bedded down in my corner even though I knew it was due to rain in the early hours.

I woke up at 11.30pm, a man was having a pee the other side of the wall, I could hear him but not hear him, and his mate was making crude comments about penis size. Not something I want to hear! Anyway, they went and I got up as I needed a pee myself, and I watered the wall with my shewee. I am sure you didn't want to know all about this.

Then I moved into my porch. I found the last two handwarmers and tucked back down and was more warm and snug at last, as well as sheltered.

I slept but my dreams were sad and desperate and painful.

I woke as it was getting light, for some reason my alarms hadn't gone off.

I got up and went to McD's and had a bagel and a cuppa, then I went for my walk. I didn't walk far after last night and I stopped on a bench to remove my nail polish and cut my nails as they were getting messy.

Then I came back and sat at the cafe with my friend and had a cuppa.

Here I am, blissfully plugged into my music.

The mood tracker tells me that my mood is plummeting, I am certainly struggling with flashbacks and bad dreams but I can't see that the depression is worse than usual.

11/01/2013

Hi peeps,

I am feeling a bit tired and so I keep forgetting to update you.

Yesterday I used the dregs of my money to get somewhere, but I am sure you would approve.

I went and saw a man about a room.

But I got rather hungry as all I had for lunch was two chocolate bars and the rats had eaten my Christmas cake.

The man had tea and hobnobs at his house and I liked the room.

But then when I came back I was hungry and there was nothing in the bins in any of the towns, and I couldn't find a soup run, so I got hungry. I had no credit in my phone and it was cold