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Cosas raras que se oyen en las librerías

Cosas raras que se oyen en las librerías

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Cosas raras que se oyen en las librerías

ratings:
4/5 (28 ratings)
Length:
143 pages
57 minutes
Publisher:
Released:
Apr 1, 2015
ISBN:
9788415996965
Format:
Book

Description

Un caballero pide el tocho más pesado (literalmente) que aflija las estanterías, otro necesita adquirir cincuenta y dos metros de lomos más o menos vistosos y un tercero quiere leer la edición débil de cierta obra. Una dama sospecha que las novelas de Dickens fueron escritas por su hermana Charlene, otra busca libros de color verde y una tercera pregunta por relatos donde Robin Hood no robe a los ricos. Demencias como éstas (e incluso más dementes) ocurren a diario en las librerías, esos templos de la inteligencia. El lector hallará aquí una colección de anécdotas pintorescas o definitivamente estrambóticas que le alegrarán la tarde con unas cuantas carcajadas y tal vez socaven la poca fe que aún pudiese tener en la sensatez de la especie humana.
Publisher:
Released:
Apr 1, 2015
ISBN:
9788415996965
Format:
Book

About the author

Jen Campbell grew up by the sea. She is a bestselling author and award-winning poet. Her most recent books include a short story collection, The Beginning of the World in the Middle of the Night, and a series of children’s picture books about a book-loving dragon called Franklin. She won the Jane Martin Poetry Prize in 2013, received an Eric Gregory Award in 2016, is Vlogger in Residence for the Poetry Book Society, and was a judge of the Forward Prize in 2018. She talks about books, fairy tales and disfigurement at youtube.com/jenvcampbell. Her poetry pamphlet The Hungry Ghost Festival was published by The Rialto in 2012, and her first book-length collection, The Girl Aquarium, was published by Bloodaxe Books in 2019. She lives in London.


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Cosas raras que se oyen en las librerías - Jen Campbell

todos.

Historias de la Edinburgh Bookshop

La Edinburgh Bookshop (antes Children’s Bookshop) de Bruntsfield Place, Edinburgo, es una librería independiente cuyos propietarios son Vanessa y Malcolm Robertson, también dueños de la editorial Fidra Books. La mascota del local se llama Teaga, una leonberger vagamente parecida a la Nana de Peter Pan.

CLIENTE: Leí un libro en los años sesenta. No recuerdo el autor ni el título, pero la cubierta era verde y me reí mucho. ¿Lo tenéis?

CLIENTE: ¿Tenéis libros de Jane Eyre?

CLIENTE: Es una pena que los libros para adultos no lleven fotos. Te crías de niño con libros ilustrados y, de repente, te los quitan…

LIBRERO: Sí… La vida es muy cruel.

CLIENTE: ¿Tenéis una copia de 1986?

LIBRERO: ¿1986?

CLIENTE: Sí, de Orwell.

LIBRERO: Será 1984.

CLIENTE: No, estoy seguro de que es 1986. Siempre lo recuerdo porque nací ese año.

LIBRERO: ¿?

CLIENTE: Hola, quisiera devolver este libro.

LIBRERO: Por supuesto. ¿Tiene el recibo?

CLIENTE: Tome.

LIBRERO: Pero… Usted compró este libro en Waterstone’s.

CLIENTE: Sí.

LIBRERO: Esto no es Waterstone’s.

CLIENTE: Pero esto es una librería.

LIBRERO: Ya, pero no Waterstone’s.

CLIENTE: Ustedes forman parte de la misma cadena.

LIBRERO: No, lo siento, somos una librería independiente.

CLIENTE: ¿?

LIBRERO: Mire, por ejemplo: usted no devolvería en Zara ropa que compró en H&M, ¿o sí?

CLIENTE: Pues no, claro, porque son tiendas distintas.

LIBRERO: Exacto.

CLIENTE: Me gustaría hablar con el gerente.

CLIENTE: ¿Tenéis el libro…? ¡Vaya, he olvidado el título! Trata de unos tipos con pies enormes y peludos.

LIBRERO: ¿Habla de los hobbits? ¿El señor de los anillos?

CLIENTE: No, era… Tras la pista del Yeti.

CLIENTE: Disculpe, pero mis niños se están subiendo a las estanterías. ¿Está bien? ¿No se les caerán encima, verdad?

CLIENTE: Hola, tengo una pregunta. ¿Sabéis si Ana Frank escribió una secuela?

LIBRERO: ¿?

CLIENTE: Es que me ha gustado mucho el primero.

LIBRERO: ¿Su diario?

CLIENTE: Sí, el diario

LIBRERO: Pero… Ese diario no es una obra de ficción.

CLIENTE: ¿De verdad?

LIBRERO: Al final… Ella muere de verdad, por eso no hay conclusión en el libro. La asesinaron en un campo de exterminio.

CLIENTE: Uf… ¡Qué barbaridad!

LIBRERO: Sí, fue terrible.

CLIENTE: ¡Vaya, qué lástima! Era una autora muy buena…

CLIENTA (a su amigo): ¿Qué hay en esta sección de «crítica literaria»? ¿Libros que se quejan de otros libros?

CLIENTE: ¿Tenéis alguna novela negra que trate sobre las multas por exceso de velocidad?

CLIENTA: Hola, ¿dónde tienen los ejemplares de Amanecer? No veo ninguno en las estanterías.

LIBRERO: Lo siento, se nos han agotado los libros de Crepúsculo; pero pronto llegarán más.

CLIENTA: ¡¿Qué?!

LIBRERO: Nos deberían llegar mañana.

CLIENTA: Pero… lo necesito ahora. Terminé el tercer libro anoche.

LIBRERO: Lo siento, no puedo ayudarla.

CLIENTA: No, no me entiende. Me he tomado el día libre para leerlo.

LIBRERO: Esto…

CLIENTA: ¡NECESITO SABER QUÉ PASA EN LA HISTORIA! ¡AHORA!

LIBRERO: …

CLIENTA: ¿No pueden llamar a la distribuidora para que lo traigan esta tarde?

LIBRERO: No, ellos…

CLIENTA: Puedo esperar aquí hasta que llegue.

LIBRERO: Lo siento, pero sólo reparten por la mañana.

CLIENTA: Pero… ¿qué puedo hacer?

LIBRERO: Tenemos otros libros.

CLIENTA (lloriqueando): ¿Y en alguno de esos libros aparece Robert Pattinson?

CLIENTE: ¿Tenéis libros con este tono de verde? Quiero que haga juego con el papel para regalo que compré.

CLIENTE: Esos libros son una estupidez, ¿verdad?

LIBRERO: ¿Cuáles?

CLIENTE: Me refiero a esas fabulas de animales en que el gato y el ratón son grandes amigos.

LIBRERO: Supongo que son poco realistas, pero la ficción es así.

CLIENTE: No, no es que sean poco realistas, es que son estúpidos.

LIBRERO: Bueno… los autores usan esos recursos para enseñar a los niños que deben aceptar a todo tipo de gente, ¿no le parece?

CLIENTE: Tal vez, pero yo creo que los libros no deberían fingir que las personas congenian con cualquiera así como así, que todo es coser y cantar. Los niños deberían aprender que la vida es una mierda, y cuanto antes mejor.

CLIENTE: Mi nieta está buscando un libro

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Reviews

What people think about Cosas raras que se oyen en las librerías

4.0
28 ratings / 44 Reviews
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Reader reviews

  • (4/5)
    Weird Things Customers Say in Bookstores by Jen Campbell is very reminiscent of I Work in a Public Library which I reviewed early last year. Both books include true stories of interactions and incidents that occurred in places which feature books as the main attraction. Jen's book talks about people who are so improbably strange I don't know how they were let out of the house much less let loose in a bookstore. Also, Ripping Yarns is a confusing name for a bookstore so I don't know why it's that unusual that people calling to find out if they sold yarn was so kooky it deserved its own subsection. (A yarn is another name for a story and 'ripping' is a term like 'awesome' hence Ripping Yarns.) Some of the things that stuck out for me were the customers that didn't seem to understand what is actually sold in bookstores. No, you can't buy hardware materials in a bookstore. That would be a hardware store. There were some true LOL moments like the lady who came in and couldn't remember which Danielle Steel books her mom had/hadn't read and asked the bookseller if SHE knew. *face palm* The chapter on parents and kids especially reminded me of what it's like being a Children's Librarian (there are a lot of interesting interactions, ya'll). One thing that really surprised me were the number of people who would approach the desk and ask about possible jobs but would be super weird about it. For example, telling the bookseller that there job looked super easy and then asking if they were hiring. If you're looking for funny anecdotes about what it's like to work in the book trade then you couldn't get more spot on than this book. It's a quick book that you can dip in and out of when you're looking for a laugh or if you just want to check if it's not just you that get involved in super weird conversations with strangers. 8/10
  • (4/5)
    Hilarious--particularly if you like books, have spent time in bookstores, or are an author.
  • (5/5)
    Do you work with the public as a booksellers, librarian or through another bookish profession? If so, I can almost guarantee you'll love this hysterical collection of interactions between booksellers and their customers. Ranging from a slightly mangled book title to the craziest "What were you thinking???" encounters, the stories had this librarian chuckling, nodding in recognition and sometimes laughing out loud. Now I have to read the sequel!
  • (5/5)
    Hilarious!
  • (4/5)
    Hilarious! Lovely, easy read. Amazing comments from interesting customers.
  • (5/5)
    I've been in a fair amount of bookstores before and I've heard customers say the strangest things. This book was like reliving all those moments, as well as experiencing many others I couldn't imaging hearing. I'm sure many of these instances would be difficult to keep a straight face during, and that makes this book even more of a treasure. I really enjoyed that there were some other booksellers submitted for Campbell to include. Shows that all bookstores have odd questions asked every now and then.
  • (4/5)
    I'd never heard of Jen Campbell, a poet and bookseller from the UK who apparently maintains a blog chronicling all the strange requests that she and other booksellers receive, in the course of their duties, until a friend reviewed this hilarious little collection of vignettes (thanks, Lisa!), but now that I have, and I've read through Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops, I feel that she is a true kindred spirit! Continuously employed in one bookstore or another (save for a few months interruption here and there) for more than twenty years, since the day I got my first after-school job at age fourteen - it was at a little chain bookstore in the local shopping mall - I think it's safe to say that I am intimately acquainted with the geography of absurdity that Campbell maps out here. I found myself giggling, snortling (that's midway between a snort and a chortle), and laughing out loud last night on my commute home, as I raced through this book, which is full to the brim with amusing encounters that were all too familiar to me.I too have had endless variations on the "Do you sell...?" question - toilet seats being one of the more memorable examples - have been asked if it would be OK if a customer photocopied a book and then returned it - and been confronted, after giving a negative response, with: "but how will you know? I could just do it and not tell you!" - and have had to deal with over-indulgent and/or clueless parents, seemingly incapable of understanding that their little darlings aren't allowed to throw books on the floor and stomp all over them, climb the shelves, or (in the case of infants) chew on them. I too have gotten the classic "I'm looking for a book - it's about life, or something... and it has a green cover. Do you know the one I mean?" type-question, and have had my knowledge exploited by members of the public with no intention of actually giving us their business - people who want the service provided by a live bookseller, in helping them to make a selection, which they will then purchase from amazon, or some other online retailer.I've worked in small and large bookshops, chain stores and independent, new and used books, and the results are invariably the same, because people are the same. They're weird - very weird. Some highlights of my own experience:1. One week into working at a large chain bookstore located a few blocks from a well-known psychiatric hospital, I get a phone-call from a concerned doctor, asking if I have seen her patient in the store. "He's not really allowed out of the hospital," she says... There's also the hilarious - and true - tale of a co-worker who had to participate in a therapy session with a patient and customer from this same hospital, but that's a long story...suffice it to say, booksellers: don't be flip, because you never know who you're dealing with.2. Working at a small independent bookstore in my college town, I answer the phone: "Good afternoon, Such-and-Such Bookstore, how may I help you?" and received the following reply: "Uh... yeah. So, um... do you sell books there?" My (unspoken) response being: "Yes, but they aren't going to be of much help to you..."3. Working at a small chain bookstore in a mall, I help a distracted and very rushed customer, intent on finding something for her child to use in a school book report:Customer: "I need something for my daughter's book report for history class. It needs to be on an explorer from the 18th century. Someone like Vasco de Gama. Or Neil Armstrong."Me: "Did you say 18th century...?"Customer: "Or it could be about one of those 19th century wars... you know, World War II. Or that one before it - the one with the helmets.Me: "Did you say 19th century...?" 4. Working at a large independent bookstore in Manhattan, I am accused of racism, for describing myself as white. The scenario runs as follows: having helped a particularly difficult customer for more than twenty minutes (I must have put at least ten books in her hand, each of which proved unsatisfactory), I am accused of being deliberately unhelpful. This is the same customer who had previously told a co-worker that it was clear she had never been to college, because she was so stupid. Near the end of my patience, I said:Me: I'm sorry that you're not pleased with the books we have in stock. We are a used bookstore, so I'm afraid we don't always have every title available....Customer (interrupting): maybe if you made an effort, rather than offered excuses! You're not very professional in this store, are you? What's your name? I'm going to complain to the owner about you!Me: By all means. The managers' desk is around the corner. Tell them it's Abigail in the Children's Department - the white Abigail. (I happened to have a co-worker, also named Abigail, also working in the Children's Department, who was black)Customer (drawing herself up in indignation): White!?! I don't think in those terms! You are clearly a racist!Yes. You really couldn't make this stuff up if you tried...
  • (4/5)
    Too funny.
  • (3/5)
    This is a wonderful idea for a book. I read it with lots of smiles, a few smirks, several sighs, and an occasional guffaw. It wasn't quite as funny as I thought it would be, judging from the title and from other reviews. I read it at one brief sitting, and, as another reviewer suggested, it might be better to dip into it, to avoid becoming bored by more of the same.
  • (3/5)
    Contents exactly as described in the title. Perfect light read for a Sunday afternoon. If it had been warm enough to sit outside I could easily see myself giving this four or even five stars
  • (5/5)
    This is hilarious for book nerds. I'm so glad I learned about it from the Goodreads Choice Awards.

    I'd like to think working around books would be a dream job, but this really shows the not-so-fun side: silly questions, arguments, strange requests, scam artists, customers who don't know the difference between a bookstore and a library, and other jaw-dropping insults to literature. Some of the events come from the book selling experience of the author, some are submitted from book sellers from around the world, and anonymous.

    A good book for quick laughs and fun gift for the book seller, librarian, or general lit nerd in your life.
  • (3/5)
    Fun, light read of the strange comments overheard or directly heard in bookstores.

    Neil Gaiman's cover blurb succinctly sums up the book: "So funny. So sad... Read it and sigh."
  • (5/5)
    Funny and sad at the same time!
  • (4/5)
    I've had more than a few of these conversations at the library.
  • (4/5)
    This is really a 3.25 star book, but because it was amusing, I rounded up :)Its short, there are funny bits. It reads like a joke book. Too much of the book came from the author herself. Other than that, there isn't much more I can say.
  • (3/5)
    A cute and funny collection of weird requests and appalling ignorance, this book shows that owning a bookstore is anything but boring work.It's a very quick read and one I would recommend for the bus.
  • (3/5)
    3,5 stars.

    Funny book that had me laughing a lot. However, I don't recommend reading it in only in one day, as I got a bit too tired of all the jokes by the time I reached the end of the book.

    It made me wonder if some people leave their brains at home before they leavin in the mornings.
  • (5/5)
    This is pretty funny! People not only say weird things (that's being kind and PC), but also some pretty stupid things, lol.
  • (4/5)
    I actually have to thank Goodreads for this one, without your awards, I wouldn't have stumbled upon this delightful read. So, thank you Goodreads!

    *clears throat*

    Anyway, this was just a short collection of humourous statements and conversations had in bookstores. Sounds basic, right? It is, but that's what makes it so brilliant. It's hilarious, and I cannot fathom how stupid people can be! You could not literally think this stuff up, it was pure gold.
    I've already lent it to my father as it's a book for all sorts of humour. Just a quick, light, hilarious read.
  • (4/5)
    Quick read, very amusing and endlessly quotable. A must for any veterans of retail who have dealt with less informed clientele.
  • (4/5)
    I've been looking forward to reading Weird Things Customers Say In Bookshops by Jen Campbell for so long, and most book-lovers will no doubt have already seen this in stores or heard about it.It's a collection of the funny, weird and bizarre comments and queries that bookish customers make in bookshops. The author Jen Campbell is a bookseller herself, so there were great contributions from her and some from other bookshops around the world.Some of the entries were brief and some more involved, but all made me shake my head, some made me laugh out loud and others just made me wonder about the public. Cartoons and graphics broke up the entries and the pages just flew by.Weird Things Customers Say In Bookshops by Jen Campbell is a short and delightful read, perfect for Christmas (sharing tidbits, leaving on the coffee table or as a stocking filler) and I recommend it to all readers, young and all. Actually Jen Campbell is shipping autographed copies all over the world at the moment, so it might be a great gift idea for your favourite book-lover. (Check out her Twitter page or blog for more info).
  • (4/5)
    After having read,'More Weird Things Customers Say In Bookshops" first, I just had to go out and buy this one. It is amazing and funny and mind boggling, what some people SAY in bookshops! Customer: I've forgotten my glasses, could you read the beginning of this book to me to see if I like it?
  • (5/5)
    Customer(upon opening up The Lord of the Rings Book): Oh, it has a map in it!
    Customer's Friend: Oh, what is it of?
    Customer: Mor...Mor-Dor.
    Customer's Friend: Where's that?


    I paraphrase that quote from Jen Campbell's Weird Things Customers Say in Bookstores because it tickled me so much! This book is hilarious because it is true. I can appreciated this more because I am a bookseller. I know firsthand what kind of weird, odd, potentially very scary things customers can say or do and what Magic they expect from booksellers.

    It is a very quick read, I read it in less than an hour, and very very funny.
  • (4/5)
    Really, I meant to only look at this for a second, a couple of pages maybe. Next thing I know, I've read the whole thing. Equal parts horrifying and hilarious.
  • (4/5)
    Absolutely essential reading for anyone who has ever been a bookseller.
  • (4/5)
    I found this compilation very funny and enjoyed it very much. My only complaint is that it isn't longer.
  • (4/5)
    This book makes me want to be a bookseller too just so I could have a good laugh out off customers like these :) This was a funny and fast read. Loved it!
  • (2/5)
    There are some mildly amusing anecdotes in here, of the "Gee aren't other people stupid?" variety.
    Takes about 15 minutes to read. And I read slowly.
  • (4/5)
    Great quick read -- a book of quotes of all the crazy things customers say in bookstores, from the amusing to the infuriating and pretty much everything in between. Recommend!
  • (4/5)
    Very funny book containing brief anecdotes from booksellers about weird requests to which they have been subject. Most are gathered from a particular bookshop in London and another one in Edinburgh, with a short selection from others elsewhere in the country/world. They range from the vacant ("I read this book decades ago, don't know the title or author but it had a green cover, do you know which one I mean?"; or "the title was "something something", can you search for it on your computer?") to the chillingly naive ("I enjoyed the Diary of Ann Frank, why did she never write a sequel?") They also include bizarre requests to buy or borrow items such as ice cubes or condoms, or queries on how to cook a chicken. My dad used to work in public libraries and he used to get a lot of similar strange and vague queries as well!