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Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory
Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory
Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory
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Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory

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Moving away from the sugar-coated honor-student answers, Page Turner leaves little to the imagination about opening a marriage, while exploring her bisexuality and self-worth. Travel through a complicated polyamorous web, in which her partners do their best to sabotage each other, break the rules, and eventually commit assault.

Release dateMay 28, 2017
Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory
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Page Turner

Page Turner is the award-winning author of four books. With a professional background in psychological research and organizational behavioral consulting, Page is best described as a "total nerd." She's been cited as a relationship expert in a variety of media publications including The Huffington Post, Glamour, Self, and Bustle.She clearly can't see the future because she didn't see any of that coming.Due to her incurable wanderlust, she has lived many places, but these days she calls Dallas home.

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    Poly Land - Page Turner


    Poly Land

    My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory

    Copyright © 2017 Page Turner

    All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

    Braided Studios, LLC

    PO Box 770670

    Lakewood, OH 44107


    Published By: Braided Studios, LLC

    ISBN: 978-1-947296-01-5

    Thanks to those who read this book early:






    A special thanks to our Patreons

    Jeff & Elan

    This is a work of creative non-fiction. Significant liberties have been taken to protect the innocent and the filthy. I put the story first, and recommend you do too.

    Polyamory (n.) –

    the practice of participating simultaneously in more than one serious romantic or sexual relationship with the knowledge and consent of all partners.

    The Party

    It’s amazing how quickly things change. Or how a single piece of information can make such a difference, even when essentially nothing’s really changed at all.

    After years of working crappy jobs for crappy pay, my husband Seth and I were finally starting to gain some traction. We took turns going back to school. I went first and earned an associate’s degree and now had a good job that paid well.

    After two years of taking gen eds at community college, Seth had cleaned up his grades enough to qualify for admission to the University of Maine. The only obstacle was the 40-minute drive each way.

    In good weather, it was a minor annoyance, but in blizzard conditions, an inevitability with Maine winters, exacerbated further by Seth’s gun shy attitude towards bad roads, such a commute would certainly mean absences and, by extension, failure. To deal with this preemptively, he and I moved to an apartment near the university.

    We wanted to make the new place feel as much like home as possible, so we threw a party. It was impromptu, last minute, so only John, Megan, and Tara could make it, but a gathering of five would make for a good time. Not a full-on rager or anything, but more booze for the rest of us.

    And drink we did. Seth had always been a heavyweight when it came to alcohol tolerance, but the other four of us were anything but, and before long, we’d all loosened up considerably, and as the conversation ebbed and flowed, it seemed the right time to address with Megan something I’d been rolling around in my head for a while. I had noticed that her husband, Pete, was acting strangely with a female coworker and started to suspect he was having an affair.

    As I began to voice my concerns about some of Pete’s behavior, she started to laugh and stopped me.

    He’s seeing her, Megan said. But he has my permission. One hundred percent.

    She explained that they had a polyamorous relationship and that their marriage had been open for over a year. Because of childcare issues and her work obligations, their schedule really only allowed Pete to have relationships, but she assured me that she was happy for her husband and that his seeing other people had added a lot of passion to their relationship.

    I was riveted, floored by the revelation. Megan and Pete had been our friends for years.

    It wasn’t that the idea of ethical non-monogamy as a format for long-term relationships had never occurred to me. I’d run into it a few times in my travels.

    At 17, attending summer jazz workshops, I made friends with a hippie gentleman in his late 50’s (a jazz violinist) who had an open marriage and informed me that if I’d been 18, he would have liked to date me.

    A few years later, I had a boyfriend who had formerly been in a 2-year relationship with two women, the three of them committed and living together as a unit. I was also quite familiar with swingers, no strings attached one-night stands, and drunken party orgies.

    What was mind boggling was how invisible the nontraditional arrangement had been, low drama and harmonious to the point that this had been going on for a while, and I’d never known or sensed that there was any trouble in paradise.

    And if anything, Megan and Pete had seemed more conservative than Seth and me. Like Barbie had married GI Joe and had 2 kids from a cereal commercial.

    This was shocking.

    I’d like to say I was extremely mature, open minded, and instantly accepting of her open marriage.

    That, however, would be a lie.

    It was the first time I’d even heard the word polyamory. This was 2009. In rural Maine.

    I was pretty skeptical.

    We poured more drinks, chatted a bit more. Already low inhibitions limboed even lower as the liquor flowed.

    I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to kiss another girl, Megan said to me. You’re always talking about your ex-girlfriends, and I get so jealous.

    Oh? You’ve never kissed a girl? I said. It’s... nice. It’s different than kissing guys but the same. I know, helpful, right?

    Oh my fucking God already! Seth said. "You two should totally kiss."

    Yes, John agreed. For... science.

    For totally hot science, Seth added.

    Well, I’m all for education, but... I hesitated. But? But why? Why was I so nervous? What was my problem? Seth didn’t have a problem with it. He was actively encouraging me. And I’d had a crush on Megan for ages. Still, I floundered.

    For one, I’ve never been a fan of girl-on-girl action as a performance to turn men on. To me, it’s unwelcome objectification that demeans the authenticity of the physical connection that I’ve felt with other women by turning it into some kind of show. Not only that, but I still had serious reservations about being non-exclusive, even casually, recreationally, in a party setting.

    Then Megan made it easy for me. Honestly, I’d rather kiss Tara, Megan said. No offense, Page.

    It’s fine, I said. We all have our preferences.

    I was hardly surprised. Tara was young and beautiful, tall and lean with curves in all the right places prancing around in heels and hot pants with legs that went on forever.

    But even though I wasn’t surprised, it still hurt.

    After years of telecommuting from home at a desk job, I’d packed on the pounds and was a rather large woman. I wore a size 26. I was jovial and friendly, to be sure, but hardly a picture of the sexual ideal, waddling around in sweat pants and sneakers with the laces untied. Most people in Megan’s situation would have preferred Tara.

    But before I knew what happened, I was pounced, and it was Tara that was kissing me, her arms locked around me, her tongue exploring my mouth. It was surreal but glorious. She was drunk and forceful, but her passion was evident, and I melted into the first kiss I’d shared with a woman in over 8 years. I don’t know how long it lasted. It felt like forever and yet ended much too soon. When it was over, I kissed her on the forehead and said, Wow. Thank you.

    Now you two kiss, John said, gesturing to Tara and Megan. They did. I watched them, still reeling with desire from kissing Tara. Megan’s hands traveled all over Tara’s body, feeling her shape as Tara moaned into her mouth. It was amazingly erotic.

    And you two, John said, connecting Megan and me.

    I felt my heart leap up into my throat in anticipation. My face burned with desire. The first kiss with Tara, a friend that I’d always held in a more sisterly light, had been amazing. The prospect of kissing Megan, who was my long-time crush, someone I’d fantasized about on occasion, was exquisite.

    We kissed. And it was absolutely awful.

    I excused myself after the kiss to get another drink.

    John decided at that point he wanted to get home to his girlfriend, that the festivities were making it very difficult to not misbehave. Seth dragged me off to the bedroom, where he proceeded to tackle me.

    As we were getting down to business, we heard Tara and Megan having quite a good time themselves in the living room, which only fueled our fire.

    It wasn’t quite an orgy but not too far from it.


    Nothing like that had ever happened at one of our parties. That night became an instant legend. Which is not to say that things didn’t become complicated in the days and weeks following.

    Megan reached out to Tara afterwards to see if she’d like to continue a physical relationship, but Tara was mortified when she sobered up. She was straight, totally not into girls, didn’t know what had come over her.

    Once a regular at our get-togethers, Tara started avoiding hanging out at our place for poker or game nights.

    I couldn’t say I blamed her. As news of Megan and Pete’s open marriage spread through our group of friends, that night was a topic of constant conversation.

    We should all become swingers! Dan said. He wished he’d been there that night.

    John proposed an adult slumber party, a free-for-all, where we’d set up a space to explore one another, establish some ground rules about what activities were acceptable and which ones weren’t, and just go to town.

    Dan was gung ho.

    While I thought it could be fun for sure, I had reservations about the wisdom of such a venture, the possible ramifications to all of our friendships. There was already fall out from what little had happened at the first party as Tara was obviously upset and uncomfortable.

    With more people on board, the risk of people getting hurt or things becoming awkward increased exponentially. I wasn’t alone in this. Seth and Megan agreed that as much as fun as a sleepover sounded in theory, it was likely to end badly.

    It soon became little more than an intellectual exercise when John’s girlfriend vetoed the whole thing.

    It started to seem like things were more or less back to normal since that wild night. Really, the only things that had changed were that Tara had started laying low, and Megan and I became closer friends. Relieved at finally not having to hide that she and Pete were open, Megan and I talked frequently, discussing some of the challenges and frustrations involved with her job and lonely nights spent taking care of the kids while Peter was out with his girlfriend.

    Threesome talks aside, after being together for so long on our own and strictly monogamous, Seth and I privately rushed to judgment of their relationship. We pretty much took the attitude of How could he do that to her? and were passive aggressively angry at Pete and felt bad for Megan.

    After all, she did seem really lonely. We took her out to dinner, had her over to watch movies with us, and would spend long nights until the sun came up talking to her about everything.

    Through getting to know Megan better, we realized that their situation worked for them and that she was actually happy – and we were both falling for her. I’d of course had a crush on her for quite a while, but other than that awkward kiss the night of the party, I hadn’t acted on it or even said that much about my feelings for her.

    It was an even bigger shift for Seth, who though knowing her for years had not thought of her that way. Then all of a sudden, Seth and I were having discussions about whether he and I wanted to bring up the idea of a relationship with Megan.

    There were a number of reasons why it wasn’t an easy decision to approach Megan with the idea of dating Seth and me.

    For starters, I was heavier than I’d ever been in my whole life. I was riddled with intense pain so crippling that I couldn’t walk across a room without wincing, cringing, grunting in pain, and sitting down quickly for an extended rest. I would sprain my ankle routinely in my normal daily routine. At 5 feet 6 inches, I weighed well over 300 pounds.

    I’ve never been a terribly visual person with regard to other people and have struggled with some degree of body dysmorphia my whole life. Self-love and body acceptance were things I’d worked extensively on – to the point where I’d completely tuned out the weight gain. Before I realized what had happened, this pseudo-zen disconnect from my weight coupled with my penchant for amazing servings of Hamburger Helper and Doritos had made me in a prisoner in my own body.

    One day, I couldn’t take it anymore. As I worked as a medical transcriptionist and often transcribed notes for a bariatric medicine g