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Diamond Lyn - Charles Stewart

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Diamond Lyn


Charles Stewart

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter  9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 1

Matt jogging down the street with his good friend Carl. Carl and Matt lifelong friends go jogging every day since Matt retired from the Navy. They like to stay in shape, once a marine, always a marine. Swimming or jogging doesn’t matter, they are both in sync with the activity.

They even did some free running as they call it in Europe. Here we refer to it as Alley Scalley. You run and jump on garbage cans or anything not moving that you can. You swing from what there is and climb like a monkey up a wall. On the top of a fence you have no fear when you’ve been there like a gymnast your dismount a perfect ten.

Thelma thought the free running danger was getting too great and was satisfied with a seal and not a monkey for a mate.  Carl and I gave up the free running antics and settled for something more suited our age. Now we jog and swim and sometimes even Thelma joins in.

There is never a harsh word between them, not that they don’t communicate. Their communication is all through sign language as Carl was born deaf and dumb. They have been friends since grade school and Matt learned sign language from him.

Carl is truly a silent partner, and running or swimming they both do equally well, but at swimming Matt did really excel. Being a marine and water go hand in hand.

The land race Carl could win, but in the water Matt he could never out swim. Navy seal is just that a creature from the sea. Ok on land but would rather in the water to be. To swim a mile or two every day is just a quick dip, hardly long enough to get wet for two friends as fit as you can get. One excels on land and the other in the sea. Two best friends though handicapped one may be and makes no difference to either as you see. They communicate by sign language the same as you and me. They will for fun at one another poke, they will even sign each other a dirty joke.

Did you hear the one about the farmer’s daughter? One pair of hands would say. It’s not unusual for hands to talk dirty so they say. They for hours would sometimes sign away and it’s still just gossip done a different way.

They say a hand gesture,

Something not heard,

For some it is,

The silent word.

Hands in motion,

To others communicate,

Far and beyond,

The handshake.

Fingers tell what’s on the mind,

Fingers to leave silence behind,

Hand gesture to communicate,

A way for your thoughts to relate.

Silence is golden,

If you have a choice,

Not so to those,

Without a voice.

Sign language a way to express,

Sign language a way to be heard,

Sign language for some,

The silent word.

Talk about your curb appeal, Matt like a brick house. A six foot seal and the real deal. Big and strong yet ever so kind, and the next door neighbour you wouldn’t mind. Kids all grown up and moved away and just him and his wife for many a day.

More than twenty years the love has been the real deal. Thelma’s love for Matt her Navy Seal. Thelma and Matt volunteered and worked relentless on fundraisers for the local chapter of the hearing and speech impaired. Their efforts were rewarded with a paid fishing trip, which is also one of the couple’s passions. The mini get-away would be a welcome change from the endless hours of canvassing and countless bazaars they put on.

The trip was scheduled for November but coming from Minnesota it would be a pleasant change. A well-deserved get-away for a couple that were always there for others. They have never had a real vacation with Matt in the service and this was a welcome surprise. The Gulf of Mexico is always a destination for those of frozen roots. The weather is always inviting and the fishing, second to none. They packed their bags and headed for Cancun. One week of a get-away of a lifetime in the making.

Matt says Just think Thelma. Soon we’ll be fishing the Gulf of Mexico and not shoveling snow in temperatures so low.

The coast of Mexico,

Fishing we will go,

Chartered a boat,

The high seas Gringo.

Lots of alcohol,

A sombrero for the sun,

It’s a Mexican vacation,

Inhale fun, fun, fun.

Fishing for the day,

Casting our cares away,

Trolling the coast,

Of fish tales we boast.

The one that got away,

Got bigger every day,

Made Jaws look like bait,

Maybe I exaggerate.

Stand you at the ready,

With net in hand,

It may take two of us,

This one to land.

Hope the boat is big enough,

Hope it can stand the strain,

May have to lift this one,

With an imaginary crane.

They arrived on a Friday and settled in to a tourist lifestyle. The fishing trip wasn’t until Monday and there was so much to see and do in the meantime.

Downtown is a mecca of a tourist attraction and outdoor vendors everywhere and a reason to take care. Maybe no means no back home but here it means a greater challenge to part you from your dough. Haggling is almost compulsory and an expected form of barter.

No one pays the asking price and to haggle is my advice.

They start high,

You start low,

They say yes,

You say no.

It’s a deal of a lifetime,

Just for you,

It’s your lucky day,

Maybe take two.

Something to take home,

From old Mexico,

You don’t look like,

A cheap Gringo.

A Mexican souvenir,

Top quality no fear,

Made in China,

But sold here.

Just a few pesos,

The gold is the purest,

Hand in the pocket,

The unexpecting tourist.

Matt and Thelma spent the evening in an outdoor café listening to a travelling Mariachi band as they are the favourite musicians of the land. Piñatas and very old cars, avocado dip under the stars. The café should be built next to the fire hall, with food so hot, they wouldn’t have far to answer the call.

A hot tamale in one hand and in the other a fire hose. Some people like the challenge of fiery death I suppose. Thelma wandered into a karaoke bar and it was the noisiest place by far.

With a little encouragement from the locals, Thelma and Tequila decided it was time for her vocals. Thelma sang like the bird of paradise on drugs and was given the traditional tequila hugs. A for effort and bravo, or as they say in Mexico, Muy Bueno. Thelma sang to the break of dawn and that was when her voice was gone. Hailed a cab and took her back to our room and her overindulgence caught up to her soon. Thelma partied and karaoked like a Mexicoke until she could sign no more. Thelma started to drink glasses of water to ease the sore throat. The sore throat did get worse and then came the curse.

The gastrointestinal pains of Montezuma’s revenge came, or as they say from the H2O, stay away from in Mexico. Thelma had forgotten the golden rules and that was never walk alone at night. That a Peso saved is a Peso earned and to be prepared for when tequila is returned.

A Peso saved,

Is a Peso earned,

Pesos to buy a bottle,

At the bottom a worm.

Tequila, tequila,

The Mexican treat,

Invented by the makers,

Of the toilet seat.

Take a shot,

Run to the pot,

Take a seat,

Give it all you got.

Tequila, tequila,

The Mexican treat,

The dress code for tequila,

Is pants around your feet.

Here I sit broken hearted,

Tequila and I soon parted,

It wasn’t the tequila that did you in,

It was the ice cubes found within.

The curse put on thirst and a proclamation from days of old. Lesson learned by the conquistadors to stop and think before you drink. The water may make you look like a fool, when you’re the victim of the liquid stool.

It’s hard to fight when you must retreat to the toilet seat. By your enemies your where-abouts would soon be found and they would just push the outhouse down. It’s hard to retaliate when you’re too busy trying to defecate. It’s hard to fight and stand your ground, when your pants at your ankles to be found.

Thelma learned that it wasn’t the tequila that got her. Thelma learned the lesson of the tourist trotter and that was don’t drink the water.

Don’t drink the water,

Don’t sip the H2O,

Don’t drink the water,

When in old Mexico.

Better to die of thirst,

Then to suffer the worst,

Montezuma to avenge,

It’s Montezuma’s revenge.

Don’t drink the water,

Tell it to a friend,

Don’t drink the water,

It’s a means to an end.

Don’t drink the water,

Or it’s a toilet view,

The water don’t consume,

You’ll be visited by Monetezume.

Discomfort there’s lots,

When you get the tourist trots,

The Aztec two step,

What you are to regret.

Go the running Gringo,

Down in old Mexico,

Montezuma waits for you,

At the old drinking hole.

Sunday in Mexico and Thelma lying in bed with ‘Don’t drink the water’ running through her head. The fishing trip is tomorrow, first thing but it doesn’t look like Thelma I’ll bring. Looks like in bed she will stay until Montezuma’s revenge goes away. The fishing trip was paid for months ago, and looks like I’ll be the only one fishing in old Mexico.

Monday morning and it’s time to go fishing and Thelma is lying in bed, wishing.

Thelma says Matt, make the world stop and let me off. Matt I’m sorry, I’m so sad. This is the worst day I’ve ever had. Montezuma has a hold on your wife. This is the worst day of my life.

Today is the worst day of my life,

Filled with trouble and strife,

The only way it could be worse,

If I was riding in a hearse.

Only a ride in a hearse,

Could it be any worse?

Have to put in today to get to tomorrow,

To put behind todays sorrow.

Today is the worst day of my life,

Of this there is no doubt,

What went wrong today,

Tomorrow we’ll figure out.

Laid up in bed,

Befallen by an ice cube,

The secret weapon,

Of that Montezuma dude.

This is the worst day of my life,

To be in Mexico bedridden,

Montezuma’s revenge,

In an ice cube hidden.

Matt says "Thelma you rest a while, and I’ll go fishing. Back to health for you I’ll be wishing. Not to worry, we still have time left in old Mexico and lots to do before we go.

Rest your head and stay in bed for tomorrow is another day and only today Montezuma took away. Tomorrow he’ll be in retreat and you’ll exchange a beach chair for a toilet seat."

Chapter 2

Took a taxi to the docks and the trip was like a throwback in time to the seventies. Stock car racing, you weave in and out and shout andale! The mad Mexican on his way. His driving skills are to behold and to the door handle you hold. For