Dancing in Chaos
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About this ebook
Elena Evanovich, an aspiring writer, is an emotionally broken woman struggling with her creativity. She is paralyzed with fear following multiple brushes with death, including two bouts with cancer and a near-fatal climbing accident. Alone and without answers, she casts about for meaning and inspiration.
One night, as Elena drifts into welcome sleep, she is visited by Jim, a spirit sent from above and straight out of the sixties. He is a former rock star and poet who is sent to Elena to help her, while atoning for his own wild living.
On a return trip from Las Vegas, Elena finds a book that Jim has planted for her on the plane. This book helps Elena find techniques to still her mind and to open up to the possibility of contact with spirit guides. With her mind now fully open, Jim makes his presence known to her.
The two begin to converse regularly, and Jim becomes a source of strength and peace in Elenas tumultuous life. Through Jim, Elena meets her guardian angels, and together, they sift through her past. Along the journey, Elena is briefly reunited with her dead sister.
Through their relationship and discussions, Elena finds the courage to face her fears about death, to go through reconstructive surgery after a radical mastectomy, and to write again with a newfound voice.
Michelle Franulovich
Michelle Franulovich has survived Hodgkins disease, breast cancer, and a sixty-five-foot fall; these experiences inspired Elenas story. Michelle is near completion of a degree in natural resources management from Oregon State University. She works for the Bureau of Land Management and lives with her husband and son in Hines, Oregon. This is her first novel.
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Reviews for Dancing in Chaos
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- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Elena Evanovich, an aspiring writer, is an emotionally broken woman struggling with her creativity. She is paralyzed with fear following multiple brushes with death, including two bouts with cancer and a near-fatal climbing accident. Alone and without answers, she casts about for meaning and inspiration. This is a story of emotional and physical healing.
Book preview
Dancing in Chaos - Michelle Franulovich
Authors Note:
I used to pray for a normal
life. You see my life has been anything but normal. At age eighteen I found a lump in my throat, right next to my collarbone. I had a biopsy and it was diagnosed as Hodgkin’s disease. I underwent six months of radiation and recovered fully. My dance with fear and death began. A few years later, my sister Heather was also diagnosed with Hodgkin’s. Hodgkin’s is not genetic so the doctors were all surprised. My sister went through radiation but her cancer came back so she underwent chemotherapy. My dance became an obsessive fear of illness. While cherishing every moment, I was also fighting fear of the unknown; so much so, I had forgotten to enjoy life, to dance.
In 1998, while hiking with friends I slipped and fell 65 feet off of a cliff. I broke both hips, my pelvis, left ankle, left tibia, right ulna, fractured my skull in two places, tore my small intestine, punctured my liver and collapsed both lungs. When I woke up in the hospital, I realized that the dance had begun again. I was again fighting for my life and again reminded how quickly life can change. The doctors said that it would be close to a year before I would be walking on my own, let alone back at work. I proved them wrong. I was walking within four months of the accident and back to work after six months.
As my health got better, my sister’s health was failing. Her heart and lungs had taken a beating between the radiation and chemotherapy. She had developed so much scar tissue in her lungs and on her heart they were beginning to fail. The doctors told her she needed both a heart and lung transplant. She died before that happened. Losing my sister was another reminder of how quickly life changes and how fragile we are.
For the most part I had my fear of cancer under control until May 2005 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The radiation treatment that I had for the Hodgkin’s had planted the seed. I had a double mastectomy to prevent any possible cancer occurring in the other breast and underwent six months of chemotherapy. With each treatment, I got a little sicker and a little weaker. The chemo not only made me sick it made me feel like I was losing my mind. I was constantly agitated and filled with fear.
When my treatment ended, I slowly began to heal. I suffered from chemo brain
which made me forgetful. My boss was not sympathetic and threatened to fire me. Fatigued and distressed, I began to look for another job. I ultimately had to resign after 17 years with the Government. The stress was unbelievable. Fearing for my health and fearing for my job, something had to give.
Then I remembered that despite it all I had to remember to dance. I reminded myself of all of the love and support I had from my friends and family. I found another job and gradually rebuilt my confidence. Over time, I have come to believe that instead of focusing on the fear of the unknown I need to dance with gratitude for the time that I have had and for my blessings.
I’ve moved on to a great job with the Bureau of Land Management, with great people. Each day, I dance because I am a survivor, a mother, a wife, a daughter and a friend. Maybe my life is different than the average life and maybe I’m better because of it. One thing I know for sure is that I have truly learned to dance in chaos.
Table of Contents
Chapter One – Divine Intervention
Chapter Two – My Sister, Heather
Chapter Three – My Nightmare Realized
Chapter Four – Jim’s Task
Chapter Five – First Contact
Chapter Six – Damage Control
Chapter Seven – Contact
Chapter Eight – A Spirit Named Jim
Chapter Nine – A Time of Serenity
Chapter Ten – A Reason to Dance
Chapter Eleven – The Accident
Chapter Twelve – Breast Reconstruction
Chapter Thirteen – Visitation
Chapter Fourteen – Given Notice
Chapter Fifteen – Recovery
Chapter Sixteen – Christmas
Chapter Seventeen – Second Surgery
Chapter One
Divine Intervention
Complaining he didn’t feel well after a day of drinking, a young man in a dark Paris apartment stripped and crawled into a bathtub filled with steaming, hot water. He sat back for a while, but the hot water didn’t make him feel any better. Years of hard drinking had finally caught up to him. His chest ached. Without a sound he convulsed and slumped over in the bathtub. His heart had stopped beating.
He greeted death like he had done so many things in life - with vigor. He heard a female voice call out his name. Guardian angels were immediately present and helping him move. The apartment was now far away as the universe flew past him. Then, in what seemed like the blink of an eye, he found himself sitting in an office. A door opened behind him, and a woman brushed by.
"Hello, Jim. I’m