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Dilvan's Redemption: The Alexander Series, #5

Dilvan's Redemption: The Alexander Series, #5

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Dilvan's Redemption: The Alexander Series, #5

5/5 (1 rating)
184 pages
3 hours
Feb 23, 2015


Everyone has a past, but not everyone has a past like Dilvan Alexander…

Haunted by a shady past, Dilvan Alexander is on a journey to redemption, seeking ways to make amends to those he hurt. He knows he must do so if he will ever find peace within himself so he can move forward with a life free of guilt. But just how does a man redeem himself when the people whom he hurt doesn't acknowledge or accept that he has taken accountability for his actions?

Leaving North Carolina behind in search of peace and solace, Dilvan settles into his beach house in Belize. He plans to take all the time he needs to reevaluate his life. In the process, he's left his family behind to worry about him – afraid that he'd make a second attempt to end his own life, only this time, there will be no one there to stop him.

But one of his family members has a plan…

Feb 23, 2015

About the author

TINA MARTIN is the Amazon #1 Bestselling author of over 70 romantic suspense novels, novellas and short stories. She currently resides in Charlotte, North Carolina. For more information, visit www.tinamartin.net

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Dilvan's Redemption - Tina Martin


Redemption: [ri-demp-shuh n]



An act of redeeming or atoning for a fault or mistake, or the state of being redeemed.

* ~ *

Dilvan blew an exasperated breath as he stared out of the double-paned, steel-bar-secured windows, reliving the events that led him here – in a cold psychiatric hospital, standing barefoot on what felt like a sheet of ice, watching as fog ascended upward, bathing the window panes with the slightest hint of condensation. Dreary wasn’t the word to describe the day. It would be a rainy one. A dull, lonely one. One that matched his mood.


He’d been that way for a long time, even before he found himself in this mental prison. And he had no one to blame but himself. He was miserable because of his own negative actions and decisions, though he tried to pin the blame on other people: If my mother didn’t set me up with Gabrielle, none of this wouldn’t have happened. If Tyson didn’t steal Gabrielle away from me, maybe she and I would’ve worked things out. If my family actually loved me, maybe I would not have done the things I did. Ultimately his actions, even if they were unintentional, were his responsibility and instead of pointing the finger, he had to take accountability for the things he’d done.

He lazily walked away from the windows and sat on the full-size bed across the room, slumped over, motionless, staring at the floor. In two more days – two, long days – he would have a taste of freedom after being temporarily institutionalized. He had the hardest time letting Gabrielle go, even though, when he had her, he didn’t know how to treat her – a typical case of not missing or appreciating what you have until it’s gone.

Alright, Mr. Alexander, the hall nurse said loud and sassy, walking in with one pill in a small plastic cup and an eight-ounce bottle of water. She was dressed in white scrubs and had on a pair of black Crocs, perhaps the ugliest shoes ever invented. You know what time it is, don’t you?

Dilvan disguised a frown, still staring at the floor. He didn’t bother to acknowledge that someone had come into the room, let alone attempt to take a pill that made him nauseous.

Come on, Mr. Alexander...I got other people on this floor to take care of, too...need you to take your pill, hun. Just one little pill and I’ll be on my way. What do you say?

Like I have a choice, Dilvan thought. He slowly tilted his head up to look into the cup she held in front of his face. He felt like slapping it out of her hand, but knew that any misconduct on his part would result in prolonged time here in crazy jail. With only two more days left, he couldn’t afford to do anything senseless, but boy was he tempted. Besides, he was capable of taking his own medication. Even though he knew this was the protocol at a place like this – medicine being dispensed by a nurse – he didn’t care. He didn’t like it, but it was protocol. And since he had tried to commit suicide six months earlier by scarfing down a handful of pills, there was no way the staff, doctors or anyone else with common sense, would allow him to administer his own medication. No way.

Can you open up for me?

He suspired quietly, balling his large hands into fists while opening his mouth wide.

The nurse poured the pill from the cup directly into his mouth then handed him the bottle of water.

He took it, turned it up to his mouth and nearly drank all of it, then handed the bottle back to the nurse.

Oh, you can keep that, Mr.—

Don’t want it, he interposed, still holding the bottle for her to take it, not even looking at her, but staring down at the floor again.

Alright. Suit yourself. She took the bottle from his grasp. By the way, you have company down in the lounge.

Thanks, he said as evenly as a number two pencil.

You’re welcome. I’ll be back later.

Don’t remind me.

Once the nurse stepped out into the hallway and closed the door, Dilvan walked over to the bathroom, spit the pill into the toilet and flushed it. He’d done this for a month without being caught. He didn’t want to leave this facility with a dependency on pills. He had plans, and they did not involve taking medication that made him feel worse than he already felt.


How are you, son? Colin asked Dilvan as they sat outside of the psychiatric hospital on the damp morning. His mother was sitting on the other side of him. Dilvan in between.

I’m all right, Dilvan responded, and he was okay. The hospital stay had been a good change of pace for him – a springboard for a second chance at a new beginning because he knew he didn’t deserve one, especially after what he had done over the last few years.

It all started when his mother, Padma Alexander, had chosen a wife for him. Coming from a culture that strongly believed a person’s family was to choose the marriage partner for them, she had hand-picked Gabrielle Robinson to be Dilvan’s wife. She loved Gabrielle like a daughter, admired her as a person, a beautiful, young, sophisticated woman and, in her mind, she knew Dilvan would grow love and appreciate her as well.

That’s what she thought...

Unfortunately, things didn’t work out as Padma hoped they would. Dilvan didn’t see any value in Gabrielle. Then, at twenty-five years of age, he didn’t know what value was in a woman. All he knew was his modeling career, his good looks, money, cars and fame. He knew that women were a dime a dozen, and that he had dabbled in some of the most beautiful women a man could ever lay eyes on. Why was there a need to marry one of them when he could have them all?

Besides, he was convinced that Gabrielle wasn’t the woman for him. He knew it when he first laid eyes on her, and he found plenty of reasons why she wasn’t good enough for him or the Alexander name. For starters, she came from a poor family, something he should have been able to relate to since his family had their own rags-to-riches story. They weren’t always millionaires.

He also found himself turned off by her looks. She was dark-skinned, and he preferred his women lighter. Then there was her hair – she kept her natural hair curly and bushy. In his eyes, it was undone and nappy. He preferred the silky-straight kind of hair, flowing down a woman’s back whether it be natural or something she purchased like a weave or wig. As long as she rocked it right, he was fine with it.

Most of all, though, he detested the fact that his mother took it upon herself to set them up, especially since she hadn’t done so with his brother Prasad. She’d allowed Prasad to marry a woman of his own choosing, but no, not him. She had to choose his bride, and it angered him so much that he began taking his frustration out on Gabrielle, abusing her, hoping to drive her away.

Is the new medication making you drowsy? Padma asked. I know you were having some trouble with the old medicine.

Dilvan offered up a lazy shrug. It’s okay, I suppose.

You suppose? Padma asked frowning. Don’t you know for sure?

Dilvan rubbed the back of his neck, feeling tension settle there. Why did his mother want to talk about pills anyway? He couldn’t care less about a pill, especially since he’d been flushing them down the commode as fast as the nurses could dish them out. He kept a straight face, but smiled internally at the thought of that, thinking how he had successfully fooled the nursing staff and his parents. They’re fine, mother, he finally answered.

Are you sure?

Yes. Yes, I’m sure, he responded, forcing a smile to his face.

That’s good, Dilvan, Padma said. Very good.

Dilvan heard her say something else, but he’d tuned her out as he began thinking about Gabrielle again. It still haunted him the way he treated her – shoving her to the wall, talking contemptuously to her and choking her. Mentally abusing her. But he got what he wanted – got her to leave, even if it was by way of his cousin, Tyson Alexander. It wasn’t until later that he found out about the sacrifice Gabrielle had made to save his father’s life, and it was then, and only then, had he realized her value. He had made a mistake in letting a good woman go, but it was too late. Gabrielle was in love with Tyson, and Tyson didn’t waste any time putting a ring on her finger.

So what is it...two days, then you’re out of here? Colin asked when Dilvan hadn’t responded to his mother. She’d asked him how many days he had left, but apparently he hadn’t heard her.

Dilvan nodded. Yes. Two days.

Are you still thinking about going to Belize? Padma inquired.

Dilvan stared blankly out into the grass, completely unaware of what his mother had asked. Instead, he relived the day he tried to kill himself, the few dark moments before he tossed a handful of pills back to his throat and gulped them down. He was at the lowest point of his life – still depressed over losing Gabrielle and saddened by the thought that all he ever did was hurt her. He remembered feeling like his death would be doing everyone a favor – like no one would miss him since he was trouble – nothing but a nuisance. His death would be redemption for all the bad he’d done.

There comes a point in life where a person had to realize that they were responsible for their own actions and for him, ending his life was the only way he saw fit to take accountability for all the wrong that he’d done. After all, he was the one who made the decision to drug Gabrielle. He didn’t care what Tyson thought, his parents – no one.


Dilvan slowly turned his head to the right, connecting his eyes to his mother’s gaze.

Did you hear my question?

Dilvan grimaced. No. No, I didn’t...uh...

Keep it together, Dilvan. Only two more days, he said to himself. Then starting over, he said, No, I didn’t hear your question. I was thinking about something.

I wanted to know if you were still planning on going to Belize.


Dilvan focused his eyes on the grass again. On the ground. He only looked up when he heard giggling coming from a group of nurses, heading towards the entrance. Then he stared down again. At the ground. At individual blades of grass. Drifting. Swaying.


His mother wanted to know if he was still going and he couldn’t answer her at the moment because he was busy tossing the question around in his head.

Are you still going to Belize? Still? Are you still going to Belize? Are you still going? Belize. BELIZE! Are you going? Huh? Are you going to Belize? Still? Still going? Dilvan? Are you going to Belize? Answer me, Dilvan!

He rubbed his temples, feeling his mother’s eyes reading him. He didn’t want to go to Belize – he just felt he had to go there. He needed to leave, not only the state of North Carolina, but the entire country and since he had a vacation home in Belize, what better place to go?

There, he wouldn’t have to worry about running into any family members. He wouldn’t have to concern himself with being judged for every incorrect step he took. Every wrong decision he made. And most of all, he could use the time to forget about Gabrielle.

Yes. I’m going, Mother, he finally answered before Padma could ask him again.

Padma sighed heavily. That’s not the answer she wanted to hear. She wanted him to stay. Since he’d already sold his North Carolina home, she offered him a room in her house. That way, she could make sure he was okay. She knew what he was going through, since she also had bipolar disorder, and the thought of him being alone in an unfamiliar country without the support of anyone was troubling her. She wrapped her arms around her purse and said, Dilvan, I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Your mom is right, son, Colin chimed in, completely backing his wife. "You need the

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