The Shadow Within

The

Shadow

Within

Lynette Tait

AuthorHouse™

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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Phone: 1-800-839-8640

© 2011 by Lynette Tait. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

The story in this book is mainly fiction.

It’s in essence a narrative based on a fictional story that developed in the author’s mind to illustrate the realities and actual experiences in a milieu set in:

-the developed bushveld and adjacent agricultural area in a small region of South Africa

-the small business environment in this region

-the health issues touched on both in the social milieu and the narrator’s own life

-the information given around chemically based neurological disorders are based on the author’s own observations and experience and is as far as possible also based on factual research.

First published by AuthorHouse 08/31/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4567-8902-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4567-8903-9 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Part 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Part 2

Chapter five

Chapter six

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Part 3

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Part 1

Chapter 1

Tiaan Buchanan was sitting across the desk facing Rob his partner in their transport business; slumped back in an office chair; his legs up with his feet on the desk. His lean but muscular frame; a result of ferocious exercise as a provincial and national rugby player in his youth, still evident in his physique. They were in relaxed conversation. Just a chinwag to monitor that everything was on track in this; one of his many business ventures. He didn’t believe in hands on involvement. He chose his partners carefully, always mindful of their skill and ability to operate independently. His main involvement was generally that of spotting opportunities and financial investor in the initial startup. This approach has proved to be hugely successful with the exception of a small investment he made in a milling company about eight years ago. Although he remained involved at arms length he has never seen any return. The company was limping along, barely making ends meet; mainly as a result of the battle between his business partner and her ex husband. Lynda was a friend of many years but just could not disentangle herself from the endless battle with Daniel, her ex husband who was operating in the same industry. But then again his decision to back Lynda was based more on emotional reasons than any sound business principles. To his defense he must admit that he has seen in her such a multitude of potential that he was sure she would be the one partner that would end up building him a diverse business empire. The fact that to date she has been unable to do so fill him with a sense of disappointment and immense sadness. What a waste of all that cooped up potential. She reminds him of a shark in a fish tank; hamstrung by the restrictive environment of the tank, unable to move much, barely staying alive.

"The girls in admin are telling me they have to do a major reconciliation of that 1200 Mt’s of rice we transported from Mozambique for Daniel. Thirty seven truck loads and now he has noticed a major discrepancy. A bit late in the day to come running back to us wouldn’t you say?"

Yes he’s not going to find anything here. He should be looking closer to home.

Why. What do you know?

Well we are operating in Africa or haven’t you noticed? Somehow you just can’t keep your hands clean if you want to get ahead in business.

What are you saying?

Well his partner contacted me, gave us the contract provided we could get the loads over the border without having the cargo checked. As we are running our trucks all the time from the Maputu harbour across the border we have built up good relations with the border authorities. Greased their palms so to speak; nothing that’s not being done all over. It is just a reality of life. I didn’t really want to know, and didn’t ask at the time, but could assure him that the cargo wouldn’t be checked. I suspect his partner brought some hot stuff in with the rice; that would account for the discrepancies Daniel has now picked up. Don’t know how he managed to work that one out so fast. He’s not the hands on type and with that volume of rice he should not have noticed a relatively small discrepancy so soon.

Shit, why didn’t you tell me? You know that’s not the way I do business.

O please, I knew you would object, and to pass up a contract of that size would be stupid. This is Africa; these things are happening all over. I bet if you have a closer look at your other business ventures you will also find things to object to. Keep your nose out of it. The less you know the better you will be able to sleep at night; leave the operational stuff to those close to the ground; the way you handle things are just right. The less you know, the safer you are!

To say I’m shocked is an understatement. I’m gobsmacked.

Well keep it to yourself if you want to stay alive; we are dealing with powerful people; let me tell you if you have Daniel’s ear in any way tell him to let it go; he could cause himself endless grief; he is in with some really dangerous people and doesn’t know it. Life to them is cheap.

Hell what are you saying?

I’ve already said too much. Just keep out of things as you have in the past and tell Daniel not to take this matter any further.

Well I can hardly go telling him to keep his nose out of his own business; after all I am business partners with his ex wife and you know the amount of bad blood between them. Well then things might get ugly. Just stay out of it for your own sake. I’ll find a way to deal with it; as far as the paperwork is concerned we are covered. We brought in the correct load weights; we have the weighbridge certificates to prove that; all I have is suspicions; so for all intents and purposes this conversation has never happened.

But now I know.

What exactly do you know? All you have are my suspicions; nothing on paper; as long as we let sleeping dogs lie we are safe. I only mentioned it to you because I thought you could talk some sense into Daniel. After all you have known him for a long time regardless of all the politics and ex wives and girlfriends and what not. I’m really worried for the guy; he’s too sharp for his own bloody good.

Well to be honest I have tried to be pragmatic about his fight with Lynda. No divorce is without the proverbial bloodshed, but things were complicated by the fact that my brother’s ex wife was the cause of their divorce and I introduced her to Daniel. It’s one big cesspool in which I really don’t want to be involved with if I can help it.

Well then just steer clear of everything; all I have really given you is speculations on my part. You don’t have any moral obligation to get involved.

Easy for you to say; it seems the things I have morality issues with just roll off you like water off a ducks back. As I said, it’s not the way I want to do business; if you suspect something underhanded is going on steer clear. Are you still greasing the border official’s palms?

Yes and that will never change. It’s the way business is done; if we suddenly stop now we will have endless troubles and time delays at the border and time in the transport business equates to money as you well know. If you want to keep your nose clean in Africa you have to restrict your activities to one specific country. The moment you want to have interregional business dealings you have to provide for bribes and payoffs. I can’t believe you are that naïve. How long have you been involved in interregional trade in Sub Saharan Africa?

Yes, but not hands on as you well know. I look at the bigger picture, the bottom line; leave the day to day stuff to guys like you who have the majority shareholding and a vested interest to make things work. You are right, I have been naïve; and you are probably right in suggesting that similar practices are taking place in my other ventures. I am not sure how to go forward now that I know; anyhow lets change the subject; better still, let me rather go; I have a lot to come to terms with; a lot to digest; sleep is not going to come easy in the foreseeable future.

Relax, nothing has really changed. All I have given you is conjecture.

Minutes passed; the best part of an hour went by and Tiaan still just sat staring into the distance; not seeing anything; traffic passing him by.

After he left Rob’s office he made it to the highway but felt so shaken up that he pulled in at an all night stop and just sat there. In all honesty he had to admit to himself that what he learned this afternoon is hardly news to him. He just preferred not to acknowledge it in the past; stayed in denial. But Rob was right; this was Africa; if he wanted to be squeaky clean he’ll have to bring all his business ventures back into one country and that would not happen overnight. It will take a lot of planning; requiring liquidation of a lot of his assets in neighboring countries and reinvesting it in a new and large venture all under one umbrella. He will need people he know well, who will operate totally above board, and if truth be told, Lynda’s business is the only one he knows for sure has not been involved in any shenanigans; probably part of the reason for the lack of real business success. It would be a huge risk to centralize everything and even if he got a lot of farmers to grow crops locally which are currently imported through Maputu harbor he would still need to import things like rice that isn’t grown locally.

Well you could disinvest from Rob’s business, pump that into a large processing plant locally, position it close to the critical agricultural area where most produce will be grown and use a multi national transporter to bring in the rest of the stuff either through Durban or Maputo but with no direct involvement. Lynda’s doing it quite successfully through third parties with her rice imports.

Yes but you have many other interests outside of South Africa; are you prepared to disinvest from all of them?

I can check them out; I have a pretty good idea which ones are the potentially high risk ones. The general farming operations and localized production plants may be ok.

It’s going to take a lot of time and effort, who will you get to spearhead such a large set up here?

Lynda is the obvious choice, she definitely has the know how, ability and integrity; be honest, you always felt that she was squandering her talents.

Yes but her health is not up to scratch lately, and her continual fight with Daniel has left her mentally exhausted.

True; from that perspective she might be a risk, but if I start helping her more, nurture her back to health so to speak she could be ready for such a venture, say in two years’ time. That’s probably how long it would take to reorganize everything anyway.

You better be sure this is a rational and not emotional decision. Better give it some time before you act.

Sure, but it would do no harm to start looking into this idea, keep my eyes open for opportunities with local farmers and put feelers out for a local processing plant. Lynda’s plant is underutilized, without any further capital investment she could probably take on the majority of my relocated milling requirements and her plant is ideally situated.

True; but don’t rush into anything; and what are you going to do about Daniel? If what Rob is telling you is true aren’t you morally obliged to warn him?

I don’t know. I don’t think he will believe me. He might think I’m throwing him off the trial to boost Lynda’s business, or to protect Rob’s business.

True, maybe wait until Rob has given him the full recon, but then you will have to warn him; he is sure to start looking closer to home if the transport documentation checks out.

Ok, let’s leave things as it is for the moment. Better get home, another night of meaningless socializing to get through.

With a feeling of foreboding and very little enthusiasm for the evening ahead Tiaan stopped his reverie, started his car and tried to concentrate on the late afternoon traffic. It felt as if his whole well planned life has changed unrecognizably in the space of a few hours. Better phone Lynda tomorrow and arrange a one on one meeting. The usual weekly phone call wouldn’t be enough to get a real feeling for the lie of the land and she’s always very cagy about her health. Better to assess the situation directly. Talk her into another physical checkup with her doctor under the auspices that he wants to increase the key man insurance on her life. Not a bad idea anyway if she is going to play a key role in his revised business plan.

So you’ve made up your mind. You are going to move your business operations and you are going to use Lynda? Didn’t take you long to decide; so much for being level headed and unemotional.

No harm in looking into the situation. I will make up my mind later. Don’t be so bloody hard on me.

Just trying to be rational; keep your left brain in the picture while you operate with you right touchy feely brain.

Well dear left brain, rather concentrate on the traffic or there will be no need for any further decisions.

A persistent ringing of a phone somewhere in the distance was starting to penetrate Tiaan’s sleepy, alcohol drenched brain. He had more to drink than normal at the party and got to bed late. The alcohol mercifully induced a deep sleep after an endless evening of small talk and underlying thoughts of the events of the afternoon. He grabbed for the phone; knocked it off the night stand. The ringing stopped. He switched on the light next to his bed, sat up, placed the phone back on the night stand and took a sip of water. The phone started ringing again. He looked at his watch. It was twenty minutes past one. This could only be bad news.

Buchanan.

Tiaan, hey it’s Janine, have you heard?

"What?" Irritation was clear in his voice. At the best of times he didn’t like talking to his brother’s ex wife. This time of night he definitely didn’t want to talk to her.

About Daniel I mean.

Chapter 2

Daniel was tired and tense. He opened his front door and without switching on a light walked to the liquor cabinet, poured himself a whiskey and slumped into his favorite well worn wingback chair; a throwback from his days with Lynda. She loved this chair and he could never understand how it ended up being his, especially considering the vengeance with which Janine later disposed of every trace of Lynda in his house. Not even a photo in an old dust collecting album somewhere in an obscure cupboard survived; as if that would erase his memories. The ginger cat jumped on his lap and made himself comfortable, slowly digging his nails into Daniel’s leg with a sort of kneading action and a contented purr. If only Janine knew how much this cat reminds him of Lynda who was the one to introduce him into the pleasures of cat ownership after his first wife point blank refused to have a cat in the house.

He has just returned from his lawyer where he signed his latest will. Bequeathed all his earthly possessions to Lynda and made her the beneficiary of all his keyman insurance policies originally intended for his business partners to enable them to continue with the businesses should something happen to him.

To her and anybody who knew the disastrous state of their relationship this step would seem bizarre; but in all honesty she is the only person he really trusts in spite of the things she has done to him in recent years. He knows that if the chips were down she would still be the one he could count on. She is still the one person he would go to war with. Funny how excessively hurt he felt when she told him just before their first separation that she would never go to war with him considering his infidelity. With the latest changes to his will he may very well be asking her to go to war with, or for him.

If it wasn’t for Janine’s persistent nagging that he should sever all business ties with Lynda they would still have been successful business associates instead of being business rivals. Anyway thanks to Janine he is now in partnership with Lanyard and direct opposition to Lynda’s business. Janine introduced them and persuaded him to form a business in opposition to Lynda’s. And now to add insult to injury things between him and Janine have gone very badly wrong. It was inevitable; what they had was just a passion filled fling built on sex and when the thrill wore off there was nothing left but irritation, blame and a deep sense of desolation. A long term relationship would have destroyed both of them. But as they say: Hind sight is an exact science.

The relationships between him and his partners have also become unsalvageable. Once he realized that he couldn’t trust them anymore he began to do his own private inventories of what the finances of the companies should look like and what the stock levels should be. He is sure that Carina his partner in the commodity trading company is somehow managing to make large amounts of company money disappear; payments that their milling company which is run by Lanyard has paid over to her are just not reflected in the books. And then there is the 1200 Mt. of rice they bought. The balance they have left just doesn’t correspond to the amount of stock they have actually sold so far. To his mind there should be hundreds of Mt’s more rice than he is able to find. For the first time in his life he has now started to keep meticulous records of his own; filing it away at home in order to build up a case against both Carina and Lanyard. A sad state of affairs indeed.

Knowing that it is only a matter of time before the businesses would have to be dissolved, Daniel has decided to start his own venture separate from both of them. He is the one with the know-how, experience and the contacts and has already acquired the infrastructure that will be needed in terms of buildings and equipment. This time he will go it alone. Every cent he made from the contract for the 1200 Mt. of rice was supposed to go towards the purchasing of raw materials for his new venture, but the way things are panning out he will have to pull a rabbit out of a hat soon if he is to receive any return on that 1200 Mt’s. Never at loss for long, Daniel also made a backup plan; decided to bring Lynda back into the fold as an associate. He found an enormous amount of returned product of a very well known commodity and immediately saw an opportunity to resell it at a significant profit by repacking the undamaged product under a new low end of the market brand and the damaged product as farm feed. He must admit he coerced Lynda into storing the product for him but then one of his occasional temper outbursts got the better of him and all hell broke loose when she started using her own initiative because she ran out of storage space before he had the opportunity to tell her what he had in mind. The mess still needs to be sorted just as soon as he has dealt with his partners.

Confronting his partners is going to be ugly so he planned to meet them with the accountants present. Before that he planned to first meet with a senior police official in the fraud unit and submit an official statement supported by the necessary documentary proof of his partners’ fraudulent activities. All of these plans need to happen soon as his new venture needs to get under way sooner rather than later and he still needs to make peace with Lynda as he needs to turn the product at her plant into quick capital to finance his new venture. On the one hand he is excited by the thought of working closely with her again but he also can’t shake the feeling of doom; not surprising considering what still needs to transpire between him and his partners.

Dad, are you here? it was Kyle his eldest son opening the door. "Yes I’m here; how’s it boy? Fine, I saw your car but no lights in the house. What’s wrong? Nothing really, just relaxing with a glass of whiskey like Oupa used to do before he went to bed. You are a bit young to start following Oupa’s habits . . . stress getting to you?"

In a big way, but I am going to deal with everything soon; come the end of this month we can relax and enjoy ourselves for a change. Anyway let’s talk about more pleasant things; will you fetch Bryan after class on Friday afternoon. Maybe we could pitch the tents at the dam and pretend we are camping in the bush. Bryan will love it. "Sure . . . it would have been nice if Russell could also be there." Russell was working in the UK for a year after he completed his final school year; sort of a gap year in which he is supposed to decide what he wanted to do with his life.

"I just spoke to Bryan and all he talked about was Russell; you and I don’t even feature. Don’t kid yourself; your little brother is in awe of you—loves you to bits . . . Promise me you will always be there for him the way you were there for Russell when the two of you grew up. He needs his brothers regardless of the age difference . . . I miss Russell as well but I think it’s a good thing that he isn’t here to witness all the unpleasantness with Lanyard and Carina. He had enough of that with me and Janine. True; at least I didn’t witness the brunt of your brake up with her. Taking my gap year in the UK was the best thing you could have organized for me dad. Thanks. You made it up to us in a big way after all your disasters with Janine. I have no words for that stupidity. Please blame it on a major midlife crisis. I have already done that. All I can say is that she is a real bitch. Bled you dry and then tried to make you out as the villain . . . and don’t forget Lynda, she’s also a piece of work. You’re wrong on that score, brought most of her wrath on me . . . you can trust her and I know she is genuinely fond of you and Russell. Promise me that if ever you need help and I am not around that you will go to her. That’s a bit of a hard one to swallow . . . let’s hope it never comes to that."

They sat in companionable silence for a while and Kyle wondered at this strange discussion he just had with his father. Their relationship has always been very close except for that time with Janine. He was old enough to make himself scarce for most of the time they were together, but Russell had to live through all of it and more often than not became the focus of her wrath. It was a period of sheer madness.

Anyway son, I’m off to bed. I have particularly difficult day ahead of me tomorrow.

The following evening Daniel followed the same procedure as the previous night. Kyle almost immediately appeared at the door. Dad I brought you some supper; the way you are going you will be skin and bone instead of having a bit of the customary paunch for a man your age. What a way to greet your old man, remind me to beat you at tennis the next time we play. But thanks for the food, I haven’t eaten all day.

After finishing his supper, Daniel got up and said; "Let me walk you to your bungalow and then I want to take a walk around the dam. I need some exercise to get rid of the cobwebs in my head. Any other plans for tonight? No, a bit of TV and then straight to bed. Now you’re acting your age. What’s up with you and my age tonight? Nothing, just teasing."

Having Bryan with them the weekend was a blast. They did indeed camp at the dam no more than 50 meters from the house; but it was fun. They fished, swam, cooked over the fire and marveled at the abundant bird life. At one stage Bryan was canoeing on his own, father and son watching him with pleasure; totally enamored by the skill with which he handled the canoe. "You know son . . . it’s times like these that I know my job is done . . . you guys are my crowning glory. If I should die tomorrow it would be ok. You and Russell are grown up and can fend for yourself and Bryan will be well looked after by Lynda. Nothing in life matters more than seeing the three of you growing into such fine men. Please Dad, don’t get soppy on me . . . we need you around . . . we love you and you still have to make your millions . . . If I have learned anything lately it is that money and worldly pretence is really not important. Promise me no fancy funeral, just a plywood coffin and a cremation . . . You can scatter my ashes right here at the dam. Don’t talk like that Dad, just now we will all be depressed . . . you still have a lot of living to do; see your grandchildren grow up, tour through Africa, see the Wonders of the World and all that. Ja, right." Daniel said it in clipped tones with the emphasis on the ‘i’ in right. It sounded teasing yet with an underlying note of world-weariness. Kyle didn’t like his dad talking like that… probably the after effects of the stressful week he had.

"I spoke to Russell this morning, he’s coming home for two weeks to be with us for his birthday . . . let’s invite Granny and Dezzie over as well; I’ll buy them the plane tickets . . . it’s time we have a bit of a family bash. What about Mom? He’s going to visit her for a couple days before his birthday. He tells me she’s getting ready to move to Zambia to start a game fishing venture or something there. Maybe she’s getting ready to settle down; that would be something. True; she’s always lead a charmed life. Here today, gone tomorrow . . . in a way you were both a mom and a dad to Russell and me . . . a bit of a rough ride with Janine but overall you did well. Thanks my boy . . . look Bryan has turned back to ‘shore after his major adventures out at sea’, lets go for a ride on the bikes before we start the fire for supper."

They were sitting around the fire that night after a real bush style supper: Pappa tell us about your time at the border during the Angolan Bush war. Bryan never got tired of hearing the stories which he assumed must have been a great adventure. "It’s an experience best forgotten; but I’ll tell you about some of the fun times we had." They sat together late into the night listening to stories about the funny and interesting experiences he had and even talked about the landmine explosion in which he was. Thankfully he didn’t suffer any major injuries. He lost a lot of friends in that war and has seen some atrocities perpetrated by both sides which still cause him to wake up in a sweat at night. Bryan got so carried away that he insisted they play war games the next day. Ok, we’ll go and play some paintball in the morning and afterwards I will show the both of you how tennis is supposed to be played.

Bryan was thrilled. He loved the times with his dad. He always made time to do fun things with them, except for that time with Janine… In his young mind he equates that time with the terrible nightmares he sometimes suffers; his mom says the doctor calls it night terrors and in his book that is exactly the right description. She says it will disappear as he grows older but he isn’t so sure. His dad still suffers from it even though they say it only started after his return from the war, and he isn’t a child anymore.

Later alone at the fire after Bryan went to sleep exhausted after all the activities of the day; Kyle again broached the subject of the bush war: "How do you really feel about the bush war Dad . . . Wasn’t it just a big waste of time, an unnecessary waste of human life? How could you fight for a cause like that?" . . . "It is hard to explain today. The glib response of our generation and most whites is that back then we were really brainwashed to believe in the ‘Rooi Gevaar’—Communism. We were told that we were fighting for the Western way of life; freedom from oppression, democracy, religion and capitalism . . . and somewhere in there was a justification for apartheid something about the black leadership in the country where supported by communists and that once apartheid was abolished the country would in fact be ruled by the commies. A lot of bullshit propaganda but most whities were so brainwashed they actually believed the apartheid government. Today I am ashamed at how gullible we were, but there wasn’t any literature to enlighten you of other possibilities. Yet by some fluke Lynda managed to find an Autobiography written by a black guy; ZK Matthews (probably his surname got him past the censors). This was a major eye opener for Lynda and from that day on she became what was then known as a bit of a ‘liberal’, always questioning, never accepting any beliefs on face value, she totally stopped believing anything the apartheid government said and told anyone who would listen to start using their brains.

I could never support apartheid; didn’t think it was right to oppress people for the benefit on another group so I generally lived with a sense of cognitive dissonance right through the war . . . I try fooling myself by saying that I will fight honorably; not that such a thing is possible in war . . . As a private I witnessed atrocities perpetrated by a small fanatical group of officers and that shocked and absolutely sickened me . . . When I was nominated to go on an officers course I had a real struggle of conscience but in the end decided to do it and naively hoped that in that way I could change the system from within; maybe prevent some of the atrocities. Eventually I became a Captain and I believe I did make a little bit of a difference but not enough . . . never enough. You know, as a nineteen year old you should never be put in the positions we sometimes found ourselves in. I once was in a situation where my platoon was some distance away and I had the platoon leader of the so called enemy ‘in custody’ My staff could see what was happening and would have accepted me shooting him or capturing him but not letting him go. I knew what would happen if I captured him . . . he would have to suffer inhuman torture far beyond anything you can even imagine. I was too much of a coward to shoot him and he was captured. The screams, coming from the direction of the torture facility, the emaciated body of a being that was no longer human, his eyes blank like he was beyond this world; that was the memory I believe not even death could ever expunge from me.

"What I am now telling you, I have only shared with Lynda. It is something that will haunt me till the day I die, but with a lesser sense of disgust than that of the first case I told you about . . . I captured a Cuban Major after a particularly fierce combat . . . We were alone and he started begging me to kill him . . . He emptied his pockets and gave me some foreign money and a picture of his family whilst all the time begging in broken English: ‘Please you kill me . . . please they go after my family in Cuba if I get captured . . . think I tell secrets. Please kill me, no want torture, be killed afterwards anyway. Please . . . please.’ He went on and on . . . and . . . I knew he was absolutely right in his fears . . . . The rest of my men were close so I had to make up my mind quickly. I pulled my gun and aimed at him . . . he looked me in the eyes and I thought I saw gratitude there . . . and just before I shot him he said . . . ‘Thank you’; can you imagine . . .? I killed him in cold blood . . . I had no choice . . . I knew he would have had to endure inhumane torture and once bled dry be executed." This incidence hunted me less than the first incident. Did I just become desensitized or did I make a decision based on the consequences I knew would befall the Major? I don’t know… it troubles me… . Daniel now sat forward his head in his hands and Kyle was shocked to hear raw sobs escaping from his father’s chest. He couldn’t even begin to imagine being in such a situation… . combat, fearing for your life, mercy killing… . and his father was younger than he is now. It was just incomprehensible… . How did he ever manage to reintegrate into society the way he did?

After quite some time lapsed, Daniel looked at Kyle and said: "If ever I taught you anything worthwhile it will be the concept of what I am about to say now: ‘Never ever be judgmental. Never judge a person for his action… not even if you think you know his story or what motivates him. You can never in a million years fully understand another person’s situation, history, experiences and emotional exposure. Just accept that whatever the person has done or might do will be motivated by some pretty troublesome experiences you know nothing about… . Please my Boy, try never to judge… . You know Lynda has made a short study of men who were involved in violent combat and traumatic experiences and those who were in auxiliary services such as chefs and cooks, Guards at strategic people’s homes and those drafted as medics and to help at first military hospital. With an almost eighty five percent average she was able to predict who would have violent outbursts at home and who would be happily married and in a supportive relationship.

And one other thing… . now that we are a bit philosophical… . Leaders are born, not made. Leaders have this need to show the way for others or to make things better for others, or to take some responsibility for the life of others, because they believe they can see the pitfalls, or at least overcome the pitfall, when he fails to see or anticipate it. Unfortunately it doesn’t always work that way. And when a leader does not succeed in his objective he often becomes depressed, self-loathing and at times just feels like giving up or just go with the flow. Sometimes it is just the luck of the draw. Actually what I am trying to say is that it can be good to have leadership qualities, but don’t try to shoulder them all. Get a team to help you. Be a team player… ."

On Monday morning Daniel got called away to London. Dealing with Lanyard and Carina had to be postponed at least till the next week. It was too bad, but the business opportunity that presented itself could not be passed up.

After some tough negotiations with the insurance company the deal was sealed. They agreed that he would take on the task of salvaging the cargo from a ship that suffered major damage off the coast of East London. Totally up his ally, now that he had the experience and knew what pitfalls to look out for. Lynda didn’t know it yet but he was totally going to rope her into this venture. The greatest mistake he made with the last venture was not to have her involved. She has the technical know how and organizing ability that is hard to match. In all his years of experience he had not come across anybody who could match her. On the flipside, she was absolutely useless at building networks of business contacts and closing deals, which was his real strength. They always made a good team; complementing each other with their diverse sets of expertise.

It’s going to be tough to convince her to get involved. As she once said, she will never go to war with him again. He however had no doubt that she would finally agree to his plan once he told her that Carina and Lanyard was history. He was confident in his ability to sway her now that the obstacles of Janine and his partners were out of the way, and in any case it would mean that he would no longer be a threat to her business and he would be able to once again see to it that new business opportunities go her way. He