You Are My Son: A Mother’S Journey on Raising an Autistic Child
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About this ebook
who may feel so lost, confused, having chronic unhappiness, desperation, feeling guilty and so saddened by the autism diagnosis for their special child. Us parents must devote most of our time to accomplish this significant progress. Hopefully, you will find genuine happiness of what you and your child can and will have accomplished. My story will hopefully
be very helpful to you and change your entire concept that autistic children can become successful, independent and productive in life, no matter what negativity is ever told to you.
Patricia DeGeyter
My name is Patricia DeGeyter, and I am a mother of an autistic child, my special son, Matthew. I was raised by my mother’s Italian influence into a catholic family of eleven children. I lived with my mother and father along with my five brothers and 5 sisters. Growing up I always wanted to be a teacher. Shortly after graduating high school, my parents had bought a small Italian restaurant, which I worked at for approximately nine years. While working at my parent’s restaurant, I also attended college for a few years and studied restaurant management. My husband proposed to me, at my parent’s restaurant. I then got married, and also anxiously wanting a child. My story is based on my experience raising an autistic child that I will share and make awareness. After learning of my son’s autism diagnosis, autism had become my career. I will take you on a journey about my life in raising my special child, from the earliest stages up until now. I will illustrate my struggles and hardships in getting through it all, and the ending results of having such an amazing autistic son, who has overcome many very difficult obstacles in his life. Today, I feel I am meeting my son for the first time in my life. Now, I see my special son climbing the ladder of life with confidence and the will to be successful in life. We are always dedicated in raising autism awareness.
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You Are My Son - Patricia DeGeyter
© 2013 by Patricia DeGeyter. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
Published by AuthorHouse 07/29/2013
ISBN: 978-1-4817-7918-0 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4817-7919-7 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4817-7920-3 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013913258
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Contents
Acknowledgment
Introduction
Chapter 1: Early Years
Chapter 2: Autism Diagnosis
Chapter 3: School and Learning
Chapter 4: DAN Treatments
Chapter 5: Family and Friends
About the Author
Acknowledgment
I would like to take a moment here to recognize the best mother in the world in my eyes—my mother, Josephine Powell. My dear mother is always showing extreme love for all her family. She has showed me so much love and devotion in the hardest, most difficult time in my life. While supporting me, listening to me without hesitation, speaking to me with such loving compassion, and never criticizing me on my faults, she guided me to be the best mother I could possibly be. I will always and forever be so very grateful to her. She helped me more than I think she realizes. She has shown so much love, devotion, care, and deep concern for my special child. My mother is always there for us, as she has always been. My son is the luckiest boy to have such a wonderful, lovely, compassionate grandmother. Thank you Mom, I love you so much!
I would also like to recognize a very special man in my life, my loving and handsome father, Gaylord Buzz
Powell. My father loved my son very much and was very instrumental in helping my son achieve his ability in many areas. My father would help Matthew to work on the computer and allowed my son to use his own personal computer with no fear, knowing Matthew knew what to do. He also introduced my son to start therapeutic horseback riding. He would take my son for long walks down the river and they would enjoy throwing rocks in the water, while my father talked with my son to teach him all he could. My father has since passed away. How I miss and love him dearly. I wish my story could have been done before his passing. My son is very lucky to have had a wonderful, loving, and caring grandfather, who was always proud of him and was always there for us, in our time of need. Thank you Dad, I love you and miss you so much!
Introduction
My name is Patricia DeGeyter. I am the mother of a very special child with autism. My son’s name is Matthew. This is my story, which I am sharing to help other parents who have had the devastating diagnosis of autism for their special child and are in a similar situation to mine. My main goal is to help you in trying to cope and to let you know there is much hope for your autistic child. I know all the emotions you are feeling. The information in this book is intended to give you a more positive outlook toward the challenges that you and your special child will face in the future.
In my story, I will be taking you on a journey through my experiences raising an autistic child—good and bad. I will detail my struggles and accomplishments with and expectations for my son. I will recognize those who were most helpful to me during this difficult time in my life. I’ll also call out the not-so-friendly individuals in the world who were rude and hurtful to my son and I.
Back when my son was first diagnosed with autism, the Internet was not a regular household commodity. The books out there at the time, particularly encouraging ones, were very scarce. I purchased a book that was recommended to me, and all it did was frighten me. It gave me no hope. In my opinion, it was definitely not the type of book parents of a child newly diagnosed with autism should be reading. It only focused on the negativity and heartache of the diagnosis.
I needed more of an optimistic and encouraging book. I needed a book to read that offered a parent’s point of view on how to raise an autistic child, a book that would give me hope and not just despair. That’s what I’ve tried to provide you with here—a look into my life raising a child with autism. You will see the possibility that your special child can learn and function in society.
These special children are very teachable and have many great hidden talents that are not always recognizable at first. As parents, we must work hard to find the great gifts our special children have. I hope to give you encouragement that—through diligence, love, patience, managing very difficult situations, and care—your child’s formidable efforts will not be in vain. Children with autism are capable of doing many wonderful, great things. You can give your child the strength and self-confidence to accomplish and become a productive and independently successful person, a wonderful addition to our society.
I don’t mean to convey that the road to adulthood will not include days of frustration, exhaustion, and anger among all those other emotions you may be feeling. However, today I see my son as a young adult, a true blessing in my life. Those who have not had the privilege or the opportunity to work with and know my son (who has turned out to be a wonderful and loving young man) have maybe not yet met a special autistic person who has overcome many obstacles. They would be amazed by him. I know in my heart that God has given me a very special child with a special purpose in life. All special-needs children, regardless of what their disability may be, are amazing individuals in my eyes.
I know there are parents out there in this world dealing with much more difficult situations with their children, and how I pray for them always. Whatever the situation we are enduring with our special children, they all matter and they all count. All these special-needs children must be honored, respected, and given much love and devotion.
Another reason I am writing this story about my life in raising my special son is to give you faith, from a parent’s point of view, that there is much success and great hope in having a child with autism. Never, ever give up, in spite of whatever negativity others may send your way. Always stick up for your child. Never allow someone to be grossly misleading to you and your child. Hold on to your faith and be prepared to work very, very hard for your autistic child. Learn and know your legal rights—this is very important.
Never accept anything less than success for your child. Not to say there weren’t times my husband and I wanted to just give up because we were so frustrated and exhausted, but we knew that would never, ever happen. I also think it is very important for parents to find a support group they can go to as an outlet.
With support groups, you may need to try a few before you find one that’s the right fit. I remember one autism support group my husband and I went to where we were telling a story about something Matthew did that we thought was so wonderful, and one of the members of the group said, What did your son do, leave his autism at home that day?
I could not believe that a parent of an autistic child would respond in that manner. We thought everyone would be happy for us and our child because they knew what it was like to deal with autism on a daily basis. Clearly, that was the wrong group for us.
I remember another autism support group I attended by myself. This group mainly consisted of mothers. A lot of autism support groups were that way at the time. One mother in particular spoke of how her own parents did not want anything to do with