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Ordering In

31 pages26 minutes


Jedwyn was ...... restless, bored, and dejected? Generally fed up to the back teeth with his existence.

If it weren’t bad enough that he continued to wake up each day and go through the whole being alive thing. He also had to put up with all the ruddy hype and drivel that was modern gothic novels turned into film. Which reminded him, he really needed to put in an order for a replacement television after driving the fire poker through the last one when an advertisement for ‘twilight’ came on. Just thinking of it brought a sour taste to his mouth. Pathetic teenage love triangle bilge that was what is was. And if that was not nauseating enough. All the twaddle about a noble vampire, feeding off animals ... blah blah blah.

Eye’s teeth now he was hungry. Sighing deeply he turned towards the front of the house. There was no point heading to the kitchen, he’d not been in there in years and barely remembered where it was. No he’d order in. Yes... indeed why go out to feed when, in these modern times they delivered to your door.
Maybe Chinese, yes that last delivery boy who brought the pizza tasted a bit fatty and he was in the mood for spicy.

Before long the doorbell rang and a twenty something man stood before him holding out a bag. Jedwyn was not interested in the food; he was however much more taken with the smell of the rich blood pumping through the delivery guys vanes. Two choices, glamour him and make him eat the food then, drink him or ditch the food and just drink him now. Oh what the hell Jedwyn was just too thirsty. So he grabbed the man by the scruff of the neck and pulled him inside. Twenty minutes later the young man staggered out the door with £20 in his pocket and a slight pain in his neck.
Now what. Yes exactly now what. Well he really didn’t know.

There is a point when you’ve been there, done that and everything just seems tedious and old hat. Go try on-line gambling, nah can’t glamour a machine to guarantee a win. Could go to a bar, oh hang on – no point, can’t drink. Could go to the theater, ah no again as it’s a rubbish romance. Cinema – absolutely not as it’s full of billboards and adds about that frigging vile sentimental, inaccurate shit about vampires!!!

Oh just why can’t I, for once wake up alive, or just not wake up at all. What really is the point living when you don’t do anything or go anywhere and you are just killing time. Could read a book. OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, he’d read most of the books in the rather well stocked library. He’d also written his fair share of books too. Maybe he should right a vampire book. Oh my god!!! That is genius, it really couldn’t be any worse than most of the crap they were writing these days.
Now to pick a name, can’t very well use my own now can I. Need something dull, normal sounding. Patricia Thomas. Yes a female penname, PD James wrote her stories under a male name so why not the other way around. After all it does tend to be woman writing this sort of stuff anyway.

And for a title. ’Endless night’ or maybe ‘until the dawn’ ah I have it ‘breathless’ after all I’m not supposed to have a heart beat let alone breathe. Should I write from the male or female perspective or both and which one to make human or vampire. I could make them gay, would that be something different or Bi, better to go with Bi that way I’d appeal to both sexes.

SHIT, SEX. I suppose I’m going to have to write about that too Jed realised. I can hardly remember the last time I did that. Chucking to himself he pondered the last time he took anyone to his bed, male or female.

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