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The Pizzeria

21 pages9 minutes


When Billy Hutch, a self-appointed defender of American values and rabid follower of online news blogs, reads that Giuseppe's Pizzeria is a front for a pornographic ring, he sets out to make a citizen's arrest of the miscreants. Barging into the pizzeria with an AR-15, he forces Giuseppe Renato, the elderly owner, to go down and check out the cellar with him. Meanwhile Ricco Renato, Giuseppe's son, calls the police. As Billy and Giuseppe come up from the cellar, Betty Bates, a customer, enters to pick up her pizza. Mistaking her for Busty Betty Bigelow, the purported leader of the pornographic ring, Billy declares that he is making a citizen's arrest. Before he can do so, however, Wally Doolittle, a police officer, arrives on the scene and disarms Billy. Trying in vain to make some sense out of this comedy of errors, he takes Billy down to the station with Betty Bates, who is smitten with the lawman, in hot pursuit.

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