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148: Don't Take Your Relationship For Granted

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Summary

How do you keep things exciting and not put it on autopilot after 13 years of marriage? One big thing is to not start nagging your partner about how they don’t pay attention to you. This will only cause them to get defensive. When you run a business you have things to take care of urgent things—the fuse is getting low and it’s about to blow—and you can’t always put your attention on your spouse when they want it.

Marriages need a system in place that will make the time to talk, so pull out your calendar and make talk time. During talk time, do two main things:

1. Validate what they’ve done good.
2. Go over goals to get in alignment.

You must start looking for all the right things your spouse does. The massage, the candlelit dinner, the weekend trip, it’s all good, but your big picture problems as a couple will remain— that’s why you must come together and help each other find solutions to each of your problems. Many times her problems will be different than his problems. He might be distracted with work stress, she might be distracted by 3 kids at home. Seek to solve your problems together and you will not be taking your spouse for granted.

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