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Returning to Grace. The Journey of a Life Traveller
Returning to Grace. The Journey of a Life Traveller
Returning to Grace. The Journey of a Life Traveller
Ebook127 pages2 hours

Returning to Grace. The Journey of a Life Traveller

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Returning to Grace takes you on a journey seen through the eyes of a seeker experiencing life challenges while knowing that there is 'more' before returning to the Earth!

We each have a unique story that continues to unfold until our last breath. Have you, are you living yours to the fullness of potential possible?

This easy to read ebook has 16 chapters with the bonus of 'The Merchant's Story', a short channelled inner journey of initiation and  awakening.

LanguageEnglish
PublisherLorraine Town
Release dateJul 13, 2019
ISBN9781393329381
Returning to Grace. The Journey of a Life Traveller
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    Returning to Grace. The Journey of a Life Traveller - Lorraine Joy Town

    1

    Turning on a Pinpoint

    Each journey begins with the first step, and on a gentle autumn morning, I was very much looking forward to the healing session I had felt inspired to book a few weeks earlier. It had been a challenging time after the passing of both my parents within 18 months of each other, rampant teenagers and a marriage that was not working and I felt that it was time for some tender loving care for me .

    During the drive, I enjoyed listening to a new CD and the peace of being on my own; this time was just for me and in retrospect, a crucial turning point in my life.

    It can be quite profound how the Universe can turn a life around on a pinpoint and that day it was my turn.

    I parked the car and knocked on the door of the healer I had visited once or twice before while very much looking forward to relaxing on the healing table and just letting go for a whole hour while receiving some gentle nurturing care for my body.

    The session went well, and as we sat quietly chatting afterwards, the dear lady shared that she had an intuitive message for me. It was that there was something that needed medical attention and it had to do with ‘women's business.' Well, that put the cat among the pigeons, and as I drove home feeling emotionally apprehensive, I decided to deal with whatever it was rather than ignoring what could just be significant. I had done enough healing work myself to respect the insights received during these sessions.

    I didn't share this with my husband or kids at first, feeling that they had enough on their plates and so quietly went for some tests to be told that I had a small lump in my right breast.

    As much as I could disassociate from my emotions after many years of eastern meditation training, many turbulent emotions began to bubble up inside for let's face it; this is a feared diagnosis for most women and survival instincts kick in when there is a potential threat to life as we all know.

    Both my parents had died from cancer, and even so, there was a sense of unreality, and This can't be happening! arising from somewhere in my solar plexus even while the 'breathe and stay calm' training kicked in. For many years I had used my will to maintain control of myself so that I could keep functioning during intense life challenges, but nothing had prepared me for this, well, that is what I thought at the time.

    The doctor wanted to refer me to an oncologist immediately, to have the lump removed surgically and then to follow through with chemotherapy or radiation therapy. I took a deep breath and from a knowing within my heart, surprised myself by telling him calmly that I would do some research and let him know. It must have been some time since a patient had shown some degree of self-determination for his mouth dropped open and he mumbled something about There is no time.

    Having worked with a Naturopath and gained a small understanding of the healing potentials of Natural Therapies, I strongly felt to take the healing path holistically and so began a search for a practitioner whom I trusted. I knew I would know the right one when I found him/her and after a few consultations, I did.

    Connie was vibrant, passionate and very up to date with the latest natural therapy technology and so there I was being connected to a Vega machine, which was cutting edge in the field of holistic diagnosis in the 90s. Among many other things, it could energetically read where there was toxicity or dis-ease in the physical, emotional and mental bodies. That day I was seesawing on the inside, What if I have cancer? How will it be? Will I cope? How will I tell my family? and lots more. The other end of the seesaw was calm and self-determined to make a go of it regardless, and honestly, in the very centre of this my heart was pumping and my solar plexus churning in between the slow, deep breaths.

    As Connie read through the machine's printout, she turned and calmly shared that I had cancer cells throughout my body and that the lump in my breast was malignant, as were those in the liver. There were varying degrees of malignancy in different organs, though ‘terminal' was never mentioned. As you can imagine I was in shock and felt numb while also respecting her ability to say it as it was without making me feel a victim.

    We discussed the healing options which included weekly intravenous vitamin C, completely changing my diet – no meat, dairy, sugar, wheat or processed food, preferably organic fruit and vegetables, rest and an honest re-evaluation of my life, for dis-ease occurs on all levels of our being not only the physical.

    I was shell-shocked with multitudes of thoughts hammering in my usually quiet mind, emotions churning and not knowing how to ask for help, wanting to stay positive while not crumbling to fear or from people's pity and on it went.

    As I cooked dinner that night, I felt that I was sitting on a volcano after so many years of being ‘cool, calm and disconnected,' which was my favourite saying, this was too big to ignore.

    There was the turmoil of how to tell my husband for I felt so inadequate. I have always been the one who deals with the challenges in life, stepping in when others were going through difficult times, and here I was at the coalface – me! In retrospect, why not me!

    I expected resistance, for Alan, my husband, only tolerated my involvement in yoga and Holistic Medicine, so to some degree I anticipated how he might choose to not understand or agree with my chosen approach to the healing journey.

    It is interesting how while being the one most in need of understanding and care, I felt that I had done something very wrong, that I had to apologise for being a nuisance and unwell and for the inconvenience I was potentially going to be. It is kind of sad how guilt can manipulate and distort so many experiences in our life while unconditional love can open whole new opportunities and inspiration.

    I felt that I was walking on shaky ground and did my best to sound confident, not telling him of the diagnosis from the Vega machine, just that I had a small lump in my breast. I shared about changing my diet, and he asked: When are you going to have it cut out? Here was the clanger. I have decided to go the natural way and feel that will work best. Well, the shaky ground opened up under me as he informed me that in that case, he would have nothing to do with it seeing that I was not being sensible. This response deeply saddened me, though I was not surprised for there had been similar ultimatums in the past when I had allowed guilt to squash my hopes and heart inspiration. However, this time I found an inner strength that held me steady while standing my ground and making the choice that felt right for me.

    I found an organic fruit shop half an hours drive away; this was in the late 90s when the interest in health food was only just surfacing and began the weekly Vitamin C infusions.

    Before discovering that I wasn't well I had been teaching Learn to Meditate courses in various T.A.F.E. Colleges and Community Houses through an eastern spiritual organisation plus private classes in spiritual awareness and healing. All this stopped abruptly, and this is where the grace of the Universe opened in the most unexpected ways.

    Friends in the healing community offered free sessions, and students provided much kindness. One, whom I hadn't heard from for a while posted me a most lovingly hand knitted mauve jumper, no card or words, just a lot of love and she didn't even know that I was unwell, just following her heart. Others, including strangers, came randomly into my life to offer healing, support and insight.

    It was like having one hand under cold running water and the other under warm, loving water. Where the care was absent from the one who I thought/hoped it would come from, the Universe sent it through others, and many times their kindness reduced me to tears. Here was a whole new experience of learning to receive, which surprised me for I so loved to give, it's funny that for if we all only gave there would be no-one to experience the joy of receiving would there?

    At the time we lived in a beautiful big home that we had built together on two acres on the lower slope of Mt Dandenong in Melbourne, and I loved and appreciated living there every single day. In retrospect, I feel that living on the land at the edge of the forest was what helped keep my sanity in the challenging times while being enfolded in the tranquillity of nature.

    It was a heart-wrenching time with so much feeling and fear of how things could be or not be, of lying awake at night beside the man I had been with for thirty-five years and yet so alone. How could another human being turn off their feelings and then say I love you?

    The mixed messages were confusing and the more I took charge of my life to heal, the more angry and passive aggressive he became, never asking how I was or for an update or do I need a hug or want to talk.

    Sadly Alan's way of dealing with emotional feelings was to close down and turn away rather than trust himself enough to accept what he was feeling and reach out when things were challenging. I also came to see that subconsciously I had taken on being his security blanket, and

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