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A Gentle Answer to a War in Heaven
A Gentle Answer to a War in Heaven
A Gentle Answer to a War in Heaven
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A Gentle Answer to a War in Heaven

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There are so many books written about the Biblical reference to a War in Heaven, but the 1960s book written by Kyle Griffith, available as a free PDF marked a new generation of channelled writings and the examination of ancient texts. At the same time, in the mid 1960s another book was also channeled - it was The Course In Miracles, and it was, in many ways, a quiet or gentle answer to all that had been discussed about the famous War in Heaven. Yes, there is and was a war, but there is a quiet and gentle answer. In this book, the author asks the reader to enter the 1960s mind-set and examine this famous book, but with the answer later given by the Course. It is a book we all need to revisit especially at this time of the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, pandemics and huge Earth Changes.

Release dateJul 24, 2020
A Gentle Answer to a War in Heaven
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Lesley Ann Crossingham

Lesley Ann is a spiritual artist and author of over thirty books, both paper and digital, all of which are in print. She has written an autobiographical trilogy called The Shaman's Door about her experiences living and working with Native American Indian people in Canada and in the United States. She has also written books on her spiritual and clairvoyant abilities, including LightBody, which has been in print for over twenty years. This book illustrates how to awaken clairvoyant sight. All of her books offer insights and information on how anyone can access their deeper, intuitive wisdom, which she says is the key to living a peaceful and contented life.Lesley is currently a book reviewer for New Dawn Magazine, and many of her reviews can be read on Amazon. She is an avid reader and writer and is currently working on more books and eBooks offering her insights and wisdom. Please contact her via her website for further information.

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    A Gentle Answer to a War in Heaven - Lesley Ann Crossingham

    The term "War in Heaven" is a reference found in The Bible and is used as a reference by various churches, including the Mormons and others. This term arises out of Rev. 12:7 and refers to the conflict that it is claims took place in the pre-mortal existence among the spirit children of God. The war was primarily over how and in what manner the plan of salvation would be administered to the forthcoming human family upon the earth. The issues involved such things as agency, how to gain salvation, and who should be the Redeemer. The war broke out because one-third of the spirits refused to accept the appointment of Jesus Christ as the Savior. This refusal was considered a rebellion against the plan of redemption. It was evident that if given agency, some persons would fall short of complete salvation; Lucifer and his followers wanted salvation to come automatically to all who passed through mortality, without regard to individual preference, agency, or voluntary dedication (see Isa. 14:12–20; Luke 10:18; Rev. 12:4–13; D&C 29:36–38; Moses 4:1–4). The spirits who thus rebelled and persisted were thrust out of heaven and cast down to the earth without mortal bodies, and thus came the devil and his angels (D&C 29:37; see also Rev. 12:9; Abr. 3:24–28).

    Although one-third of the spirits became devils, the remaining two-thirds were split between various realms, with the most diligent becoming rulers in the kingdom (Abr. 3:22–23). The nature of the conflict is such that there could be no neutrals, then or now (Matt. 12:30; 1 Ne. 14:10; Alma 5:38–40).

    The reference in this book refers to the 1960s channeled book by Kyle Griffith which interprets the Biblical references in a whole new light. More recently authors such as David Icke have held a similar position as Kyle Griffith declaring that evil reptilian creatures have a hold of our souls.

    Yet there is another perspective that came as channeled information, also in the 1960s as A Course In Miracles by Helen Schucman.

    This book takes a whole new perspective on the War in Heaven and asks us to take responsibility for the perspective of our minds and the alignment to love

    The reader is asked to keep an open and yet inquiring mind.

    INTRODUCTION – By Lesley Crossingham

    The War in Heaven by Kyle Griffith was published many years ago and was / is, in many ways, a seminal work that encapsulates the 1960s mind-set of independent inquiry coupled with the urge for rebellion. As a card-carrying member of the baby-boom generation I remember this book really spoke to me at the time. Like many others who came into adulthood during this time, we wanted to see and know a different world but we also wanted to know the ancient secrets.

    Like so many of that generation, I went on my spiritual quest because I was not satisfied with the world-image my parents and their generation had offered me. We became rebels and Kyle’s book, along with many others that questioned consensus reality, became one of the movers and shakers of the old mind-set.

    This book investigated why our generation rebelled in the way we did, from a spiritual point of view. Whether you agree or disagree with the information offered, it is clear that something significant did happen that has never happened before or since (in recorded history, of course!) during the 1960s. Most importantly the author’s explanation of why this happened and what it meant from a deeper more spiritual point of view is compelling. Please recognise that this all occurred in the 1960s at the same time that Helen Schucman was bringing forth A Course In Miracles, another channelled book that has indeed changed the world. At one reads both of these amazing channelled books it becomes clear that the 1960s were a turning point in potential spiritual consciousness.

    It is interesting and also surprising to revisit this book and embrace that old 60s feeling that was so new and different at the time. It seemed everyone had new ideas and we questioned every value our society gave us. We just knew everything was going to change because of us. Of course it did and it didn’t because although we approached the inner realms of wisdom, most of us did not step inside. It is be fair to say that life, the world and our society is more controlled and controlling than ever now in the new century but during the 60s we all felt our world would change.

    My journey is very different from the author. I travelled the world, living and working within many traditions. I was the consummate seeker and joined many religious organizations, meditation gatherings, traditional ceremonies and more, was always thus for me, because I ached to know. There are many positions Kyle offers in this book that I strongly disagree with, but I would say that his journey, nonetheless, enriches mine. He does suggest and does encourage everyone to develop their psychic or sensitive skills, and I heartily endorse that. We are naturally intuitive beings, and that inner voice, whether you call it God, or any other word, is the only true compass in this often dark world. Yet, having said that, you will discover that WiH offers a lot of fearful – heart-contracting scenarios that, in my humble opinion, only strengthen the belief in darkness and fear.

    Many years, ago, after much searching and a series of amazing dreams I was led to studying A Course In Miracles. And boy did I resist! It was a very difficult, and is even now, a difficult pathway to employ. However, given my strong preferences for a solitary, nature-connected life, it is the ideal spiritual teaching for me. Now, some thirty years after first embracing the course, I find myself using this thought system as a filter for my life, and the lives I witness around me.

    And this indeed includes this book.

    I cannot agree with every position WiH offers because I believe it asks us to invest our life force energy into strengthening the belief in a separation between ourselves and our creator. I do not believe there is a separation, other than the belief in a separation. It is only, therefore, the belief that needs to be healed. The course would say that focusing on darkness, fear and negative outcomes only makes it appear real. If we withdraw our attention and focus only on love, all the darkness dissolves away. However, we have to acknowledge that the vast majority of us do believe in fear, and therefore do believe in the worse-case scenarios. This is the famous Grand Illusion, or the big dream which dictates that all scenarios and any computation can be dreamt .--. including some of the most awful and frightening ideas offered in this book. A wise teacher once told me to always remember the truth at all times and under all circumstances. That truth is that nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists. Fear appears to exist and we appear to have the experience of it, only because we empower it with our collective belief and attention.

    Yet, there is much to be embraced in WiH, and certainly much of it is in alignment with the guidance I have received from my own spiritual connection. It is a controversial book because it totally dispels the touchy-feely myth of suffering is good, and that all will be well in heaven, which awaits you after your body has died. This book offers a new Gnostic-style perspective and it is an important book that I believe should be more widely acknowledged and studied.

    We live in a time when psychic abilities, medium-ship demonstrations, tarot card readings and spiritual healing has become more widely accepted and commonly embraced. Not too many years ago, people who sought psychic consultations from tarot card readers were a very small minority. Now the new age movement has become an industry and many large and small New Age festivals and expos are held in major centres throughout the western world. If you do a search on the internet you will also discover hundreds of websites offering telephone readings, mediumship readings, as well as courses or workshops on developing these skills.

    This might sound promising. It might even appear that spirituality is increasing in our world, but if you look more carefully you will discover that the vast majority of those who seek these services are focused on this world, their earthly comforts and well-being and the strange belief that Grandma is watching over their lives from Heaven.

    I have to admit that there is a part of me that wishes it were so, but sadly I cannot believe it is so. The fact is that this world is not a beautiful place, but rather a desert of suffering. At some level we know this, which is why we have a fantasy of believing we should just stick it out here, suffer for God, and reap the rewards of a heavenly bliss in the afterlife united with Grandma who has been stalwartly watching over us all these many years. Yet if you look at this the whole idea is quite ridiculous. While we might have the occasional saintly grandma we have a veritable plethora of bad-tempered, angry, care-worn and perhaps substance addicted Grandmas with dozens of personality flaws. So now we are supposed to believe they have transformed and without any effort on their part, live in Heaven and have become wise guides and mentors. To assert that because Grandma or Grandpa has transformed and is now your spirit guide who oozes with wisdom, is surely a foolish fairy tale.

    The Astral layer/level is actually all around us physically at all times. It is the first realm we enter when we leave the physical form permanently. We can enter this area in dreams or visions too. Anyone who has truly been there will know that it is far from sweetness and light. It is a many-dimensional place filled with every kind of spiritual being, and a few you could not even imagine.

    The fact is that if you are ignorant, bigoted and angry in this world, this reality, you will be the same when your body has ceased functioning. On the other hand, if you awaken your soul whilst in the physical, you will be like that in the spiritual realm. It is very simple really.

    Currently there are many celebrity psychics who peddle the lies and delusions that mislead and actively encourage people not to do their inner work, not to rise above their petty jealousies and hang-ups and thus not to awaken into their eternal truth. This is actively encouraged because everything will be just lovely in the spirit world when you reconnect with Nana and Grandpa. This is a great and utterly vicious deception and I hope you are strong enough to truly look at it and see it for the hogwash it is.

    I do not offer my words to depress you or make your feel despondent. Quite the opposite! I hope you will study these notes and then focus your life on healing your issues, becoming more peaceful, loving and heart-based. It is these qualities that ensure you rise to the highest levels of heaven.

    Many inhabitants of the Astral are actively engaged in sabotaging your growth, and the evolution of our collective soul. I will let Kyle’s book describe that for you. Suffice it to say that I have received the same messages quite independently from Kyle. The sabotage occurs because there are beings who have a vested interest in maintaining the status-quo. Of course, in the end, there is a Prime-Creator-God who is not mocked by these petty shenanigans. In the end, everyone, and every spirit-being will rise above the Astral roller-coaster and unite with the Prime Creator God ... however, you do have a choice now. You can do this now, or you can do it later. That, my friends, is the only choice that lies in your hands.

    All this reminds me of a scene from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy where Marvin, the paranoid android gets accidently left in a car park for three million years. The people in the time-machine jump forward three million years in time in an instant and collect him (he’s an android, so cannot not die!) But for poor Marvin time has dragged because he has to wait for three million years, in a boring gray car-park. Needless to say, poor Marvin was very snippy.

    Whether you consciously remember them or not, you have been sitting around this very same car-park we call Earth for at least three million years, and perhaps even longer. You might be waiting for the second coming or for a particular God to rock up in his space-ship, or for enlightenment to just blossom effortlessly within. No matter what you have told yourself, you are waiting needlessly because there is literally nothing you need to do or to achieve.

    The famous Biblical story of the Prodigal Son contains the wisdom that you are already the gift, just as you are. All you need to do is remember this and get the heck on home already. This remembering becomes the time machine that waits within, ready to swing into action. Like Marvin you are eternal, even though your body will be upgraded by younger models every few years. But unlike Marvin you have choices including the free will to hang out in the car-park or to remember you can leave at any time. You have the power, and you always have the choice.

    There is a war in heaven and it has been going on for millennia; and so far, it looks like it will continue on for many more millennia. In this sense heaven is not an after life reality but rather an agreed higher or ascendant reality that is just as malleable and changeable as the Earth is. This particular heaven is part of the dream and thus subject to change. But beyond the dream is an eternal, unchanging reality, A Course In Miracles calls Heaven. This consciousness was created perfectly which it never changes but remains a loving constant. You are always part of the eternal Heaven because this is your true home and where you were created. Yet we chose to have the experience of something else, but because there is nothing other than the oneness of Heaven, we then created a dream of something else. Of course we did a pretty bad job of it, and for the most part, humans suffer, struggle and die in this something other place. Happily, we can all choose again.

    According to the information Kyle Griffith received, the war in heaven that seems to be part of our collective reality for millennia is actually between beings called The Invisible College and the Theocrats who have a vested interest in keeping humanity in ignorance. The book is based on messages channelled from a group of extraterrestrial disembodied spirits who call themselves the Invisible College.

    They state that your soul is nourished on psychic energy generated during life, and when your body ‘dies,’ it lives off the energy stored up during embodiment. This is a kind of Chi or Prana energy. The Theocrats are beings who do not reincarnate but instead attain the energy needed to sustain their souls by syphoning off the energy from other souls – in other words they live by psychic vampirism and spiritual energetic cannibalism.

    The Theocrats are the creators of certain forms of organized religion, which claim that you will have eternal life in Heaven when you pass over. They create an illusion of this Heaven in your mind by posing as gods, meanwhile giving you the after-death state that you expect, whether it is a Heaven or Hell-like or an eternal orgy. For instance, if you expect to go to ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Heaven’ and worship at the feet of Elvis Presley or Jimi Hendrix, they will create this illusion for you he writes.

    Like Kyle, my guidance has informed me of the same basic thing, although they describe it very differently. They state that, for instance, if a spiritual adherent of traditional and fundamental Christianity (for example) sees himself in a beautiful heaven with Jesus and the angels that is what he will seem to experience when he passes over. This dream is a deception because you have not really awakened at all, but rather moved sideways into another room of the great dream.

    The Theocrats are the force behind the development of groups such as the Freemasons and Rosicrucians, claims the author. More surprising, however, is its claim to also have influenced the rise of the civil rights movement, the spread of LSD, and other drugs, the anti-war movement, and even rock’n’roll.

    The Theocrats are also behind most world religions, and, in fact, hang around churches and other places of worship soaking up the psychic energy that devout believers beam their way in prayer. They meet the newly deceased as they reach ‘the other side’ and usher them into an illusory Heaven where their souls are gobbled up by the top Theocrats. In other words, while most spiritual traditions teach love of God, and ultimately, union with the divine, they are in fact scams run by the inner plane Theocrats to rip off psychic energy and souls.

    According to The War in Heaven, the Theocrats are quite conservative and actively try to destroy genuine, freedom loving spiritual concepts. They actively attack personal development and independent thought. One of their techniques is to highjack any new movement that offers genuine wisdom. The teachings of Jesus, for example, come from the Invisible College because they focus on love and forgiveness. However, most churches are controlled by the Theocrats and therefore distort the original pure teachings for their own ends. This is the case with all formal religions, claims the author.

    The New Age movement has fallen into the same malaise. The movement began with a rush of new and bright energy as we collectively joined together to heal and love one another. Now it is an industry filled, for the most part, with self-centred, ego-centric phoney celebrity psychics who are under the control of the Theocrats. Of course, some of them don’t realize this and assume that any voice from spirit is automatically good and from the light. However, in the end, the fruits they offer are tainted and bring no nourishment to the soul.

    Do not under-estimate the Theocrats. You may begin your journey into self-empowerment hoping for spiritual assistance, but remember not every angel comes from the light, and not every ascended master actually ascended at all. The true masters urge you to embrace healing through genuine self-work, which includes offering only love and forgiveness. They never offer a magic object or quick short-cuts.

    The truth sets you free. But that only occurs when you seek it out within through genuine and dedicated self-examination. There are techniques you can use to avoid Theocratic entanglement after death, which are described in War in Heaven.

    There is a way out of here, and you are able to find it, if you apply yourself to the work required. You will have more than enough courage, fortitude and street-smarts to find it, but it does require you question every thought and every pre-conceived idea you have, including the lovey-dovey feel-good ones. You can be addicted to the Earth-bar and not even realize it, and it is the addiction to Earth-suffering that draws you back to the bar, lifetime after lifetime.

    Of course, I recommend you consider studying A Course In Miracles for deeper insights into our collective dilemma. This particular path has served me well. You will find your path as long as you remain open to a new direction, for that is the quiet answer that sets all things right.

    T-27.IV.1. In quietness are all things answered, and is every problem quietly resolved. 2 In conflict there can be no answer and no resolution, for its purpose is to make no resolution possible, and to ensure no answer will be plain. 3 A problem set in conflict has no answer, for it is seen in different ways. 4 And what would be an answer from one point of view is not an answer in another light. 5 You are in conflict. 6 Thus it must be clear you cannot answer anything at all, for conflict has no limited effects. 7 Yet if God gave an answer there must be a way in which your problems are resolved, for what He wills already has been done.

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    WAR IN HEAVEN By Kyle Griffith

    FOREWORD… By author, Kyle Griffith

    War in Heaven introduces a completely new and revolutionary conception of the nature of spiritual reality. The material in it was dictated to me by automatic writing, but WiH contains more explicit, detailed spiritual information than most modern channeled books and it is much more militant and controversial in tone. Some readers of the pre-publication edition of War in Heaven were disturbed or frightened by it, and a few attacked the book as evil and satanic. However, a larger number of readers hailed it as a major breakthrough in cosmological theory.

    War in Heaven is not a typical New Age channeled book, and I am not a typical New Ager, though I helped to found that movement in the Sixties and Seventies. I was raised as a traditional occultist, and my primary goal in life has always been to develop my skills as a psychic and magician. However, I also possess past-life memories that have caused me to develop into a very different kind of occultist from my relatives who were Freemasons, Rosicrucian’s, Spiritualists, or Theosophists.

    I have been aware since 1946, when I was four years old, that my soul was deliberately sent to this planet by an advanced extra-terrestrial civilization to assist Earth people in dealing with a major crisis in their spiritual evolution. For this reason, I’ve studied UFOs and related subjects as seriously as I’ve studied psychic and spiritual phenomena, and the relationship between the two has always been obvious to me.

    The same applies to conspiracy theories – I have known all my life that unseen forces really do manipulate the course of human history, and my response has not been fear or anger, but rather a desire to help any of these agencies whose ethical and political goals seem similar to mine. I’ve been a left-wing anarchist and a member of the counterculture since the late Fifties, and I’ve grown more politically and socially radical with age.

    In the late Sixties, my spirit guides suggested that I call myself a Spiritual Revolutionary, and I’ve been doing so ever since. However, I didn’t become fully conscious of what the term meant until 1983, when I made a breakthrough in personal awareness about spiritual reality. In July of that year, after several years of intensive magical and intellectual preparation, I asked my spirit guides: Tell me the Great Secret, the theory that explains the true nature of gods and human beings and the relationship between them. The reply that I received by automatic writing didn’t surprise me, but I was absolutely astonished by it just the same. The spirits seemed to be trying to dictate a completely new and revolutionary cosmology: a view of spiritual reality with moral, social, and political implications that most people would consider literally unthinkable.

    I eventually became able to record the messages in clear and explicit English. It took me over five years, and thousands of hours of grueling labor, to receive all the spirit-dictated information for War in Heaven and write it into a book. The review on the next page will give you an idea of what WiH is about and why I am advertising it as The most controversial channeled book of the century.

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    Part One: A Breakthrough in Spiritual Revolution

    Chapter 1: The Search for Spiritual Reality

    Part One is called A Breakthrough in Spiritual Consciousness because it summarizes the evolution of my personal beliefs about the nature of spiritual reality over a period of about twenty years, from the Sixties up until 1983, when I made the breakthrough that allowed me to receive and understand the channeled messages presented in Parts Two and Three of War in Heaven. I made this breakthrough not by learning facts about spiritual phenomena on the intellectual level, but by achieving a state of awareness and open-mindedness that enabled me to receive what my spirit guides were actually trying to communicate to me, rather than what my prejudiced and brainwashed conscious mind wanted to hear.

    It may be difficult for the majority of people, who read this book, to identify with the viewpoint from which I’m writing it. My psychic experiences, beginning with my earliest memories from childhood, are just as real and important to me as my experiences in the physical world. I’ve been reading minds, communicating with spiritual beings, and practicing psychic healing literally all my life. I believe in these things on exactly the same level as I believe in my ability to speak the English language. So it’s not easy for me to communicate with people who do not instinctively realize that such things are real. Whenever I can, I give accounts of my personal psychic experiences to explain why I formed particular spiritual beliefs.

    Some readers of the preliminary version of this book, published in 1987 under the title of Spiritual Revolution, dismissed these narratives as lies and garbage. Others said things like It has the ring of truth to it, even though it contradicts almost every other spiritual book I’ve ever read. You’ll just to have to make up your own mind. All I’ll say at this point is that War in Heaven contains no deliberate lies, and I’m neither smart enough nor crazy enough to have hallucinated it all.

    I also want to make it clear that I really don’t care if readers say they accept or reject the theories in this book. My purpose is not to gain followers for a narrow ideology, but to assist certain people in making the same breakthrough I made if you are one of these people, you may not even know it until long after you’ve finished the book and the ideas in it have penetrated deep into your subconscious.

    However, I will also offer evidence to convince the reader’s conscious intellect that what I’m saying is scientifically true, whenever I can do so without interfering with my primary purpose, which is to present an extremely complex and revolutionary theory about spirituality. Let me start by explaining why I believe that there is sufficient empirical evidence to convince any truly open-minded person that telepathy, spirit-communication, reincarnation, and many other psychic and spiritual phenomena actually exist. Colin Wilson, one of the most rational and pragmatic of the twentieth-century philosophers, has come to a similar conclusion, as shown by the following excerpt from his book The Occult (1971):

    It was not until two years ago, when I began the systematic research for this book, that I realized the remarkable consistency of the evidence for such matters as life after death, out-of-the-body experiences (astral projection), reincarnation. In a basic sense, my attitude remains unchanged; I still regard philosophy – the pursuit of reality through intuition aided by intellect – as being more relevant, more important, than questions of the occult. But the weighing of the evidence, in this unsympathetic frame of mind, has convinced me that the basic claims of occultism are true. It seems to me that the reality of life after death has been established beyond all reasonable doubt. I sympathize with the philosophers and scientists who regard it as emotional nonsense, because I am temperamentally on their side; but I think they are closing their eyes to evidence that would convince them if it concerned the mating habits of albino rats or the behavior of alpha particles.

    Let’s use the evidence in support of reincarnation as a starting point. There are thousands of past-life memory cases on record, described in hundreds of different books. Some of them are undoubtedly hoaxes or have explanations other than reincarnation, but many more seem to have been proven valid with physical evidence. For example, young children have demonstrated the ability to speak a foreign language that their parents are sure they have never even heard in their present lifetime. Other subjects traveled to places where they said they had lived during a previous life, described objects they had hidden, and then found them.

    Colin Wilson’s The Case for Reincarnation (1987) presents an impressive amount of this type of evidence, and Reincarnation: A New Horizon in Science, Religion, and Society (1984), edited by Sylvia Cranston and Carey Williams, presents even more. In my opinion, these two books, all by themselves, contain sufficient empirical evidence to prove the validity of reincarnation beyond reasonable doubt to anyone with a truly open mind.

    On the basis of this kind of published evidence alone, and leaving my personal past-life memories out of it, I am as ready to argue with anyone who denies that reincarnation is a scientifically proven fact as I am to dispute an assertion that the Sun revolves around the Earth. Although I’ve never talked to anyone who was able to verify his or her past-life memories with hard physical evidence comparable to that described in the books, my conversations on this subject with hundreds of different people have still yielded some valuable information. I’ve talked to dozens whose past-life memory accounts seem historically accurate. Without exception, these people said they had lived before in the quite recent past, and had possessed conscious control over their psychic abilities. Some said they had been American Indians with shamanic training; several had been Hindus skilled in Yoga; and others recounted past lives as Chinese or Japanese students of the martial arts. The majority, however, had been ordinary Americans with low-level occult training in the Rosicrucian’s, the Theosophists, the Spiritualist movement, etc.

    The more I talked to some of these people, the more evidence I found that their past-life memories were genuine. They had learned difficult mechanical skills, complicated intellectual knowledge, or even a whole foreign language, with an ease that mystified their teachers. Some of them also reported being criticized by their instructors for instinctively doing things in a manner that is now considered obsolete, but was standard practice fifty or seventy years ago. No single case of this type is conclusive proof of reincarnation by itself, but hearing dozens of such accounts face-to-face is very impressive. I also once had a psychic experience that I feel is excellent first-hand evidence for reincarnation. It is especially valuable because it does not involve past-life memories like most of the other evidence, but direct psychic observation of the reincarnation process. Here is how I described it to one of my correspondents:

    "I’ll tell you why I personally believe in reincarnation absolutely and completely. I have ‘seen’ it happen. I have stood by the crib of a newborn baby and psychically observed high-level spirit guides approach and assist a soul in entering the infant’s body. Before, I got the same vibes I get from an ape in the zoo, after, the vibes of a human baby. It was a very clear-cut psychic experience, and similar to a more common, but sadder, experience you may have had yourselves: being at

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