Exit Wilderness: A Road Map Out of Depression & Hopelessness

Forever.

INTRODUCTION

Depression. Suicide. Adultery. Divorce. Murder. Prison. Addiction. Bitter. Confused. Anxious. Hopeless. Lost.

These are things that wildernesses are made of. It is the darkness we do not care to talk about much. We would prefer to keep them hidden. Preferably in a box, stored on the highest shelf of our deepest, darkest closet, never to take down or open. Not only do we place this ugly box in the darkest corner of the closet, we bury it. We cover it with other items. We strive to deny its existence. In an attempt to negate its contents, the box gets buried deeper and deeper as we continue to stack life on top of it. We continue to lie to ourselves that if we hide it long enough, bury it deep enough, it will eventually disappear.

The problem with things we hide or bury is that, unless we confront the contents, it remains. Until we do something about the box, it is not going anywhere. It will not magically disappear. We cannot conquer what we do not confront.

If you are like most people, what you placed in your box is the stuff you would rather never deal with again or ever talk about in this lifetime. It is the bad, the ugly, the heavy and dark matter of life, things you try your absolute best to forget about because you carry scars from them. They cause you to feel guilty, ashamed, condemned, weighing you down and causing anxiety. You buried them because you were hoping they would disappear. As you try to move past them, you realize they continually thrust their way back into your life.

To live a life of wholeness, you must first heal from past battle wounds. You must get to the core, the center of who you truly are and where your true identity lies. You must un-bury and uncover the contents of all your hidden boxes. You can no longer pretend the box does not exist. You must confront the contents soon. You cannot allow these things to steal one more second from your life. You will never be able to conquer the wounds if you do not confront them. Don’t worry, I am going to be right here helping you sift through the items, heal any open wounds, and help you get your joy back!

I have a seasonal bad habit of chewing my fingernails. It causes my hands to look terrible. I’m embarrassed by them and mindful when I shake someone’s hand or point to something on a piece of paper. I don’t want anyone to see my bad habit, my flawed self and especially my unattractive fingers. When we first meet someone, we can hide our flaws well. We offer a handshake by extending our good hand. We do not want others to see our leper hand, our real self. The scars. Wrinkles. Bruises. Dirt under the nails, or like me, no nails. No! God forbid they see who we really are at first glance. Each of us wants our first impression to be a good one. We keep the bitten fingernails tucked into our pocket, hidden in the dark, just like our box buried in the closet.

Together, we are going to peel the layers of the onion to reach our core - our true authentic self. You and I are going to journey into our darkest places, our buried spaces, our lost soul, and our wilderness. If you have ever been surrounded by trees, even midday, you know it’s dark. The wilderness is dark, and darkness is where shame, confusion and destruction go to play. Darkness sucks us into isolation. What remains isolated in dark places is where you will also find hopelessness and hopelessness is the most dangerous place you could ever visit.

The issue in extending our one ‘good’ hand is that at some point we are going to need our other hand. Eventually, we must reveal the truth, or it finds a way to reveal itself. Our authentic self will manifest with or without our approval. The truth of who you really are shows up in the real person God created you to be - so tenderly, uniquely, fearfully, and beautifully made! Your life experiences make you who you really are, and it is time to stop running from yourself. You are who you are because of your circumstances and choices, the good and the bad. What you have been through, the hell and high waters, the beautiful mountaintops, all of it shaped you. You must learn to be grateful for all the experiences, despite not realizing that each one holds a purpose. It may look and feel like one humongous, crazy mess but I assure you throughout these pages you are going to praise God for each one of them. Because your mess is your message and God is going to use it for your good, I promise!

Speaking of messes, you probably know the mess a diamond creates being birthed from a piece of coal. Perhaps what you are going through right now is a diamond process. You, like the piece of coal are being chipped away. It is dark, messy, and ugly. Nobody would ever imagine the beauty within the center of coal by looking at the exterior. A diamond goes through an extraordinary process to become what we see as the finished work. In your diamond process you may feel as if nobody else in the world understands your pain or chiseling process. You are wrong. There are others who suffer along with you, only in darkness and isolation. I personally feel your pain. I have been to hell and back. For some reason, against my will, God left breath in my lungs to continue waking up to another day. I still have this breath because He wants me to deliver an incredible message to you. My extraordinary mess became my greatest message and I pray these words sink deep into your bone marrow. Your mess is going to be your greatest message too. God will make sure of it. He is going to use your wilderness experience for His glory so others can see that He truly exists.

He saved you so there would be hope for others. You are going to point the way to Heaven, and you may not even have to utter one word. Your life will be a walking billboard for God. Your most difficult setback is about to be your greatest come back! God is going to use you mightily. He is going to prosper your mistakes; give you double for your trouble and bulldoze a path through the wilderness creating your exit. You will not only escape the wilderness, but He is going to lead you into a well-watered, spacious land, a place you cannot fathom or imagine! Begin to claim that your life is going to be unrecognizable.

Your most difficult setback is about to be

your greatest come back!

It does not feel or look like it, but the diamond process is good for you. You must remember it is an unbelievably difficult and incredibly messy process. At times you are going to feel as if you are in a pressure cooker or the spin cycle of your washing machine, or both at the same time. In fact, the formation of a natural diamond requires extremely high temperatures and extremely intense pressure. These conditions are so severe that they don’t exist on earth. You would have to travel approximately 90 miles below the earth’s surface, where temperatures are at least 2000 degrees Fahrenheit to experience this kind of heat and pressure.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubt, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord. He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

—James 1:2-8, NEW KING JAMES VERSION

It may be easier said than done, but we must declare the truth of James 1. We must count it all joy. All the trials, all the tribulations, we must count each one as joy. Not some, but all. Do you know why? Because these trials and tribulations test our faith. Like a muscle at the gym, the more we work it, the more pressure and resistance that muscle receives, the stronger it becomes. Our faith is no different. Each one of us receives the same measure of faith. I am encouraging you to make your faith stronger by allowing trials to strengthen you - like the sculpted muscle and the chiseled diamond. Each trial can produce incredible faith if you choose.

In James 1 it goes on to say that this process produces patience and patience produces a perfect work. He says you will be made perfect, complete, and lacking nothing. Did you catch that? Perfect, complete, and lacking nothing. If you read on autopilot, this one is for you: PERFECT, COMPLETE, LACKING NOTHING. And verse five says ask God for wisdom and He will give it to you liberally, without reproach.

The truth is you have an enemy. This enemy’s full-time job is to devour you (John 10:10). The devil would love nothing more than for you to suffer alone. Isolation is his favorite strategy. I intimately know depression, hopelessness, and suicidal thoughts. I began to believe that being dead was the easiest way out of all my problems. It was like being buried in debt. I wanted to file for bankruptcy. Isn’t that the easiest way out? Just throw in the towel and give up? At one point I genuinely believed it was the best way out. The enemy was whispering these lies in my ear. Eventually they became my belief system, or what I like to call B.S.

Has the enemy lied to you? Has he made you believe that the best way out, the only way out, is to check out? I have been there! I believe that I am still alive today just to tell you, yes YOU, that there is hope! If I had killed myself in 2004, I would have killed the entirely wrong girl! I also want to let you in on a secret the enemy does not want you to know. Your best days haven’t happened yet. God has an abundant life planned for you. To put it simply, You ain’t seen nothin’ yet! I am telling you the honest truth. Had I killed myself, I would have missed out on the blessed life that God had planned for me. As much as God shaped my life today, I realize that my absolute best days are still ahead of me!

Your best days havent happened yet.

HOPE HAS A NAME

It is important that we clear a pathway out of the deepest, darkest forest. There is a way out of your wilderness, and I have provided the actual map! In your wilderness when you look up it’s dark, when you look down, still dark. Darkness surrounds you on every side and it seems impossible to ever be happy again, but that can change.

Jesus was my anchor and He will be yours too. He has already rolled up His sleeves and extended His arm down into your dark pit. Will you find the strength deep within yourself, to lift your arms upward and grab hold of His? He is your only hope. You cannot do this alone.

He brought me up also out of the pit of hopelessness, out of the miry clay and set my feet upon a rock and straightened my steps.

—Psalm 40:2, JUBILEE 2000 BIBLE

Hope has a name and it is Jesus! He is the hope for you and all of humanity.

YOUR HEART WILL MEND AND YOU WILL LAUGH AGAIN

The devil straight up told me that I was never going to have a reason to smile again. If he has whispered this same thing in your ear, I am here to tell you that you will not just smile again, but you will have many reasons to laugh again! The devil is a liar and his breath stinks!

...for he’s full of nothing but lies—lying is his native tongue. He is a master of deception and the father of lies!

—John 8:44, THE PASSION TRANSLATION

Remember this, if he is talking, he is lying!

I do not want you to waste one more second believing his lies and the filth that comes out of his mouth. He has been using the same old schemes since God kicked him and his crew out of heaven. He lies. From the forbidden tree in the garden to telling you that, You have no worth, no value, you can’t be used by God...look what you’ve done! No, do not believe anything that he whispers so cunningly. He wants to be king over you. You must be diligent at resisting him, so he flees. Declare out loud to him that there is already a King in your life. Dethrone the devil in every area of your mind, body, spirit, and soul!

When God extended His arm from Heaven into the depth of my darkness, I found the energy and strength to grab a hold of Him. I am going to show you step-by-step how I went from the pit to the palace and how the Lord bulldozed a clearing that led directly out of my wilderness.

My friend, it is time for you to exit your wilderness.

Messengers came and told Jehoshaphat, "A vast army from Edom is marching against you from beyond the Dead Sea. Jehoshaphat was terrified by this news and begged the Lord for guidance. He also ordered everyone in Judah to begin fasting. So, people from all the towns of Judah came to Jerusalem to seek the Lord’s help.

He prayed, "O Lord, God of our ancestors, you alone are the God who is in heaven. You are the ruler of all the kingdoms of the earth. You are powerful and mighty; no one can stand against you! O our God, did you not drive out those who lived in this land when your people Israel arrived? And did you not give this land forever to the descendants of your friend Abraham? Your people settled here and built this Temple to honor your name. They said, ‘Whenever we are faced with any calamity such as war, plague, or famine, we can come to stand in your presence before this Temple where your name is honored. We can cry out to you to save us, and you will hear us and rescue us.’

For they have come to throw us out of your land, which you gave us as an inheritance. O our God, won’t you stop them? We are powerless against this mighty army