The Girl Within
By Jerry Craig
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The Girl Within - Jerry Craig
The Girl
Within
Jerry Craig
AuthorHouse™
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.authorhouse.com
Phone: 1 (800) 839-8640
©
2017 Jerry Craig. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
Published by AuthorHouse 07/19/2017
ISBN: 978-1-5462-0074-1 (sc)
978-1-5462-0075-8 (e)
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,
and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
6406.pngimage%201.jpgThis book is small journey back to the time when it all began. Well, it goes back as far as I can remember at around age eleven or twelve. I became quite aware that I was a lot like my two sisters. I always wanted to be pretty and wear girls’ clothing. Many times when my parents were away or at work, I would get a chance to wear the clothing I desired most. Although I could not wear these pieces outside, I was very content just getting to wear them for even a little while. I remember when I was in the seventh grade, I only chose to play girl games with my girl classmates. No one at that time seemed to care or point out that I was only interested in being with the girls and not the boys. As time went on and I got older, I realized that I viewed myself as one of the girl, but when I looked in the mirror, I was faced with my distasteful reflection. In my mind, I was a pretty girl with or without clothing. So often I avoided mirrors like a vampire avoids the sun. I knew as long as I didn’t see myself in the mirror, I didn’t have to face the fact I was a girl trapped in a boy’s body. Often at home my family, especially my father, would try to encourage me to be more tough and rugged, which went against everything I could want for myself. I often had to pretend I wanted to be a boy just to make my parents happy, but for so long I was extremely depressed. I felt like I could only be me when I wasn’t around anyone or just when I was with a few girls who seemed to view me as just one of them. I enjoyed that a lot.
I remember my first day at high school. It was a scary place and time for me. I knew I had a challenge ahead of me because these kids were older and had set ideas about what made a girl or boy. I, on the other hand, had a grasp on what being a woman was supposed to be like but not much of a clue about how to be a boy who shares a girl’s heart and soul. I felt like I had to figure out that space out all alone. I would avoid joining boys’ sports because at that time boys had to shower together. I didn’t feel like I was a boy, so I didn’t want to be in a room with naked boys looking at me. I saw myself as a female and only desired to be surrounded by females. Well, at least until I saw my reflection in the many mirrors that were all around my school. I didn’t dare tell any of my male friends that I felt like a girl all the time because I knew I would lose them as friends. Instead I learned how to pretend very well, at least enough to get by. Sometimes I would forget to pretend to be more like an average boy, and the girl in me