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    Once Upon a Tim
    Once Upon a Tim
    Once Upon a Tim
    Ebook153 pages1 hour

    Once Upon a Tim

    By Stuart Gibbs and Stacy Curtis

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    About this ebook

    Join New York Times bestselling author Stuart Gibbs in this first book in a hilarious, highly illustrated new middle grade series about a peasant boy who wants to be a knight, perfect for fans of Max & the Midknights.

    Tim is just a peasant, but he dreams big. He wants more out of life than to grow up to be a woodsman like his father. Unfortunately, the only route to success in the kingdom of Wyld is to be born a prince. Still, Tim is determined. He is brave and clever and always tries to do the right thing—even though he rarely gets the credit for it.

    Then news spreads that Princess Grace of the neighboring kingdom has been abducted by the evil Stinx and Prince Ruprecht needs a legion of knights to join him on his quest to rescue her. Tim finally has the lucky break he’s been waiting for, the opportunity to change his station in life. And even though he doesn’t know how to ride a horse or wield anything more deadly than a water bucket, he’s going to do whatever it takes to make sure his dream becomes a reality.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSimon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
    Release dateMar 1, 2022
    ISBN9781534499270
    Author

    Stuart Gibbs

    Stuart Gibbs is the New York Times bestselling author of the Charlie Thorne series, FunJungle series, Moon Base Alpha series, Once Upon a Tim series, and Spy School series. He has written screenplays, worked on a whole bunch of animated films, developed TV shows, been a newspaper columnist, and researched capybaras (the world’s largest rodents). Stuart lives with his family in Los Angeles. You can learn more about what he’s up to at StuartGibbs.com.

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    • 4/5
      I think this book was good. 5% was just credits. But it was at the end. Good book. I like it

    Book preview

    Once Upon a Tim - Stuart Gibbs

    CHAPTER ONE

    Who I Am

    ONCE UPON A TIME…

    There was a prince who was revered throughout the land for being exceptionally brave…

    who was known far and wide for his cool and calm presence in the face of grave danger…

    and who was beloved and adored by all the people of his kingdom.

    This is not his story.

    It’s mine.

    I’m Tim.

    Come in a little closer so you can have a better look at me.

    You know how, whenever you see a movie or read a story set in olden times, it’s almost always about a dashing prince or a beautiful princess, and you’re supposed to get all wrapped up in their troubles?

    Well, there are lots of other people who aren’t princes or princesses, and trust me: we have way more problems than the rich folks do.

    We’re called peasants. And being a peasant stinks.

    To start with, we’re all really, really poor.

    See those clothes I’m wearing? Those are the only clothes I own. I’ve been wearing the same outfit for two years—and it was a hand-me-down from a cousin who wore it for two years before me.

    All the princes and princesses live in castles with hundreds of rooms. I live in a hut.

    See?

    You might be thinking to yourself, Gosh, that’s awfully small, but it looks pretty cozy.

    Well, it’s not. For example, look at the windows….

    Oh, that’s right. You can’t. Because there aren’t any windows. Peasants can’t afford fancy stuff like glass. Which means that any animal that wants to get into your house can do it: flies, lice, raccoons, muskrats, wild boars, the occasional dragon…

    While I’m on the subject, here are a few other things we don’t have:

    Air-conditioning.

    Heaters.

    Refrigerators.

    Televisions.

    Internet.

    Bathrooms.

    Yes, you heard that right. We don’t have bathrooms. No showers. No sinks. No toilets. (All right, I’ll admit, the princes and princesses don’t have flush toilets either, but they at least have separate rooms to do their business and professional wipers to clean them afterward.)

    But the worst part of being a peasant isn’t really what we don’t have.

    It’s what we can’t do.

    See, there’s only one way to become a prince or princess: you’re born into it. That’s it. No one can apply for a job as a royal family member. If you’re a peasant boy, like me, you basically have one option:

    Peasant.

    My parents are peasants. So were their parents. And their parents before them. And so on and so on and so on, going all the way back as far as anyone can remember. (Which, given that there aren’t any history books readily available, is about seventy years.) There’s nothing you can do about it.

    Almost.

    It turns out, there is one way a peasant can change his lot in life. It isn’t easy, though. In fact, it’s extremely dangerous. Ridiculously, terribly, insanely dangerous. But if you’re smart, brave, confident, trustworthy, honest—and if you don’t die in the process—then you might be able to pull it off.

    I was willing to give it a shot.

    Because, like I said, being a peasant stinks. (Okay, I’ll admit, some people are content with peasantry. Like my parents. And all my uncles and aunts. And all my distant cousins. And most of my neighbors. But it just wasn’t for me.)

    So… this is the story of how I took that shot. And how it led to the greatest adventure of my young life—along with plenty of danger and peril and treachery and doom.

    It’s a good story, though. I promise. And there are some awesome pictures, too. So settle down, get cozy, maybe make a quick stop to use the bathroom (with your flush toilet, you lucky duck), and I’ll tell it to you.

    Right now.

    CHAPTER TWO

    What Started It All

    Even though this is my story, it begins with a princess. This princess, right here:

    This is Princess Grace, who lives in the next kingdom over from me. Before this adventure, I had never met her, so I only knew as much about her as you do from looking at this picture. She was famous for being beautiful and lovely and kind. People said that she had a voice like an angel, and that when she sang, woodland creatures would gather around and gaze at her adoringly, although you can’t really believe everything you hear. But she did have quite a good reputation….

    And then this happened.

    Princess Grace was snatched away by a monster. And not just any monster. The most horrible, terrible, deadly monster you can imagine.

    No, not a dragon. Dragons are powder puffs compared to what I’m talking about.

    She was taken by a stinx.

    Not a sphinx. A stinx.

    A sphinx is a creature with the head of a human, the body of a lion, the wings of a bat, and a habit of asking really terrible riddles.

    A stinx is far worse.

    It has the left side of a lion,

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