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Essay 3

Essay 3 was part of the finale of the first semester of English. It was
meant to demonstrate all of the improvements we’ve made in our
writing and persuasive abilities. We were given a prompt in class, and
given roughly 45 minutes to write an essay that detailed our opinion of
the prompt. Later we had to expand and revise that essay into
something that we would use for our POL (Presentation of Learning) at
the very end of the semester.

Although I left some of it to the last minute, I can say with a decent
amount of confidence that I did a good job on my essay. Although there
are a couple of rough spots, this essay is through and well written.

What I Changed in my Essay from the first Write Up

1. Lead in – I fixed the grammar, I changed out a couple


sentences to say the same thing, but in a more elegant way.

2. Thesis – I din’t really have a thesis before, so I added a simple


one which previews the whole essay.

3. Organization – I removed the saying paragraph, since it didn’t


really do anything for the essay, I split the third paragraph into
two, and reconstructed the insides of all the paragraphs so they
said the same things, but made more sense

4. Transitions – I do not have any sentences that can really be


called transitions, but I structured by paragraphs so that they
flowed into each

5. Examples – I added the two obvious examples (Hitler and the


Iraq war) I removed the sunset example, and used some more
that blend into the points.

6. Analysis and explanations – mostly the same, just cleaner

7. Outside Sources – I used more outside knowledge

8. World choice and grammar – pretty much an everything


must go situation, I changed nearly everything