The day the corn stopped

U.S. corn production is being devastated by one of the worst droughts in years. But what if things got a whole lot worse and no corn was produced at all?
Time to get up! So hungry...
Geez, why so cold? And why is your neck so sore? As it turned out, those new blankets and pillows you got last week were made of Ingeo, a 100% corn product. You grab a bowl for your morning corn flakes, but of course there is none. Same goes with those other corn-based cereals in the cupboard. So how about some eggs? Well sure, but without corn gluten meal for chickens to eat, the eggs would be pale and colourless. Who wants to eat that? Okay, toast. Nope; bread’s gone hard and dry with no corn syrup to retain moisture.

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Looking in the mirror you notice tears in your shirt. It’s only a month old! But wait — without corn starch to strengthen the fabric, it’s become weak. Well, at least your teeth can look nice, right? If only your toothpaste hadn’t hardened in the tube. Corn — well, the lack of corn — strikes again.

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Well, if you can’t eat, at least junior can. Not so fast — corn starches and flours are found in prepared baby food, too.

Annoying fact #1
Without corn we would be back to making/buying bread every day as it would not stay soft and fresh long.

Getting ready for work
If you’re a woman, no doubt makeup would come next; but not today. Corn oil used for moisture, and corn starch is used to thicken and reduce the oily feeling of makeup. Pulling back the shower curtain reveals that none of your shampoos, conditioners or body washes are there as they all contain corn by-products. Plain water it is.

Annoying fact #2
Without corn, we would have to either buy new clothes all the time or usher in the newest fashion statement: Patches.

Sources: ilcorn.com; mentalfloss.com; Wikipedia; farmprogress.com SUSAN BATSFORD, GRAPHICS EDITOR, TWITTER @SBATS1; INFOGRAPHIC BY MEGAN DINNER/QMI AGENCY

Time for work

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Ethanol, a distilled corn alcohol, is used as a biofuel additive for gasoline, and corn starches can be found in rubber tires.

OK, you’ve changed into clothes that managed not to rip, and you rush outside with your keys. Good luck getting the car moving with no tires or gas.

Finding something to do
Now that you can’t go into work, you need to find something to do. Good luck; corn can be found in: Books: Corn oil is found in printing ink, and other corn products are needed for the paper and binding agents. Putting up that wallpaper border you promised to do months ago: Have fun. Without cornstarch, the paste dries too quickly to allow for repositioning.

Art: Kids love to colour, but they won’t be doing much without corn. Starch is used as a binder in crayons and chalk to ensure they hold together.

What about Rover?
Hopefully you’re OK with no store-bought food or snacks for your pets. For the most part, they contain corn meal.

Still hungry...
You never did eat any breakfast — good luck finding any of your snack foods without corn:

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As you can see, corn is in just about everything, whether directly or not.

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Frozen pizza: Moisture in the sauce can hit the crust, making it too soggy; corn starch is used as a barrier. Ice cream: No way. In fact, forget almost anything that’s sweet. Most products are made with corn syrup, not actual sugar. Yogurt: Corn enhances the fruit flavours, control tartness and help maintain the consistency.

Where’d the walls go?
Took you long enough to notice — corn starch helps bind gypsum filling together in drywall. Oh dear.

Annoying fact #3
Without corn, pre-sliced fruits and veggies would be brown right away. Citric acid, made from corn sweeteners, helps everything look pretty and fresh for longer.

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