Non compos mentis

CADS REPORT
Dutch and UK news oddities from both sides of our cod-less pond

AUGUST

ISSUE 2012

Queen to parachute into giant golf hole wearing cricket pads

Special Cricket and Golf Olympic games

Since when were Cricket and Golf Olympic games?

The 1900 Paris Olympics

CADS Report publishes private, secret, and classified nonsense about the state of the UK and the Netherlands from anonymous news sources.

CADS Cricket Lunch July 2012

Great weather, a very warm welcome by VRA Chairman John Worries, a marvellous buffet and a fabulous days cricket between Netherlands and Gloucestershire made for a memorable CADS Lunch. We give it a 9.

Run to the 19th hole,its Jack The Golden bear Nicklaus.

Oddly Enough Global News

Driver swerves to avoid moose, hits bear instead
OSLO - A Norwegian driver who swerved his car on a rural road to avoid running into a moose hit a bear instead, authorities said on Thursday.

Gibbons on helium sing like opera stars

LONDON - Gibbons are jungle divas. The small apes use the same technique to project their songs through the forests of southeast Asia as top sopranos singing at the New York Metropolitan Opera or La Scala in Milan.

Amstelveen residents asked to look out for renegade hippo

Residents in the Amsterdam suburb of Amstelveen have been asked to keep a look-out for a renegade young hippopotamus that is popping up in gardens and roads after moving into a suburban beer lake. City officials are hoping the two-year-old calf will return back to its pod after making a brief appearance at a recent CADS lunch rehearsal where, judging by the smile in this photo, he looked like hed had one too many.
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Finn throws Olympic distance with old Nokia

SAVONLINNA, Finland - A Finnish teenager won a mobile phone throwing contest on Saturday by hurling his old Nokia phone 101.46 meters.

CADvertising
The Elfin Sailing
Sunday Sept 9, 2012. 13:00
On the 9th of September, it is Open Monument Day in The Netherlands, and as a contributor to the Elfin charity, CADS members have been invited to sail on the boat. This is a rare opportunity, and if you want to participate, please reserve a place quickly with Sue Bennion at sue.peter@zonnet.nl. The Elfin will sail from her regular berth at Zuidende in Wormerveer at 1300 on the 9th September, returning about 4 hours later. A contribution of 30 Euros to the fuel costs is requested for each person attending. You can see more about the Elfin at

Amsterdam Business Lunch and Workshop:

How to Become a Brand in Holland.

Sunday Sept 9, 2012. 13:00
CADS has close links with the Amsterdam Business Lunch networking group, run by CADS member Craig Welsh. The next Business Lunch, on 7th Sept, combines the Lunch with a workshop by fellow CAD Benno Pieters, on how to become a brand in Holland using Social Media. It will be held at the IGC (De Industrieele Groote Club) on Dam Square and costs 29 for the lunch, and 95exc BTW for the workshop. This event will interest those of you who want to grow your business opportunities! To reserve your place contact Craig at craig.welsh@spectrum-ifa.com or visit the site at:

www.elfin.nl.

www.amsbizlunch.com
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Corner Aug Issue 2012 Chairmans

The annual outing to the cricket is fast becoming something of a CADS tradition. Thanks are due to John Richardson, our copywriter and infamous cricketer, who once again organised a superb lunch in a marquee overlooking the cricket, where members watched the Dutch team taking on Gloucestershire in the Clydesdale Bank 40 over match. CADS were treated to free entry to the match, in addition to lunch and drinks. The sun shone, and Mike Carn stood in for your chairman, who was absent in Russia; a good time was had by all.

by MIKE

WATERS
One of his more astonishing claims in court is that all the money was redeposited to the company account in Northern Cyprus, in local currency, by his mother. The prosecution noted that using the highest denomination bank notes available the deposit would weigh 135 tonnes. Mr Nadir is 71.

Asil Nadir: still guilty, then, after all these years

By the time you read this the jury will have returned its verdict in the Asil Nadir case at the Old Bailey. For those of you who remember the 1980s, this is the gentleman who allegedly ripped off Polly Peck International, draining 150m GBP of its cash into his private bank accounts in Cyprus and precipitating Polly Pecks bankruptcy with 550m GBP of debts. Polly Peck was a major Tory party contributor and Michael Mates, the Tory cabinet minister, was kind enough to provide the private plane in which Nadir fled from England to Northern Cyprus. Mates also gave Asil a parting gift of a gold watch, inscribed with the message dont let the buggers get you. This presumably referred to the Serious Fraud squad, who were hot on his heels. Asil has been lying low in Cyprus until recently, when he returned to the UK to clear his name at the Old Bailey. His Tory pals have led him to believe it is a slam dunk to fix the case so he can move back to London with his wife Nur, aged 28.

Informal Apollo Terrace lunchette

If the good weather holds, we intend to have an informal lunch on the Apollo terrace in August. There is no speaker, but we will have some fun and games.

A good walk ruined

And golfers, dont forget to reserve your place for the CADs golf competition on September 14th. Registration is at 1230, and dinner after the game at 1830.