THE DEATH OF IVAN ILYCH

by Leo Tolstoy
Translated by Louise and Aylmer Maude
Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)
NALANDA DIGITAL LIBRARY
REGIONAL ENGINEERING COLLEGE
CALICUT,KERALA STATE,INDIA
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CONTENTS
I................................................................ 3
II ............................................................ 23
III........................................................... 41
IV ........................................................... 59
V............................................................. 75
VI ........................................................... 85
VII.......................................................... 92
VIII ...................................................... 102
IX ......................................................... 118
X........................................................... 126
XI ......................................................... 131
XII........................................................ 138
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I
During an interval in the Melvinski trial in
the large building of the Law Courts the members
and public prosecutor met in Ivan Egorovich
Shebek's private room, where the conversation
turned on the celebrated Krasovski case. Fedor
Vasilievich warmly maintained that it was not
subject to their jurisdiction, Ivan Egorovich
maintained the contrary, while Peter Ivanovich, not
having entered into the discussion at the start, took
no part in it but looked through the Gazette which
had just been handed in.
"Gentlemen," he said, "Ivan Ilych has died!"
"You don't say so!"
"Here, read it yourself," replied Peter
Ivanovich, handing Fedor Vasilievich the paper still
damp from the press. Surrounded by a black
border were the words: "Praskovya Fedorovna
Golovina, with profound sorrow, informs relatives
and friends of the demise of her beloved husband
Ivan Ilych Golovin, Member of the Court of Justice,
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which occurred on February the 4th of this year
1882. the funeral will take place on Friday at one
o'clock in the afternoon."
Ivan Ilych had been a colleague of the
gentlemen present and was liked by them all. He
had been ill for some weeks with an illness said to
be incurable. His post had been kept open for him,
but there had been conjectures that in case of his
death Alexeev might receive his appointment, and
that either Vinnikov or Shtabel would succeed
Alexeev. So on receiving the news of Ivan Ilych's
death the first thought of each of the gentlemen in
that private room was of the changes and
promotions it might occasion among themselves or
their acquaintances.
"I shall be sure to get Shtabel's place or
Vinnikov's," thought Fedor Vasilievich. "I was
promised that long ago, and the promotion means
an extra eight hundred rubles a year for me besides
the allowance."
"Now I must apply for my brother-in-law's
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transfer from Kaluga," thought Peter Ivanovich.
"My wife will be very glad, and then she won't be
able to say that I never do anything for her
relations."
"I thought he would never leave his bed
again," said Peter Ivanovich aloud. "It's very sad."
"But what really was the matter with him?"
"The doctors couldn't say -- at least they
could, but each of them said something different.
When last I saw him I though he was getting
better."
"And I haven't been to see him since the
holidays. I always meant to go."
"Had he any property?"
"I think his wife had a little -- but something
quiet trifling."
"We shall have to go to see her, but they
live so terribly far away."
"Far away from you, you mean.
Everything's far away from your place."
"You see, he never can forgive my living on
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the other side of the river," said Peter Ivanovich,
smiling at Shebek. Then, still talking of the
distances between different parts of the city, they
returned to the Court.
Besides considerations as to the possible
transfers and promotions likely to result from Ivan
Ilych's death, the mere fact of the death of a near
acquaintance aroused, as usual, in all who heard of
it the complacent feeling that, "it is he who is dead
and not I."
Each one thought or felt, "Well, he's dead
but I'm alive!" But the more intimate of Ivan
Ilych's acquaintances, his so-called friends, could
not help thinking also that they would now have to
fulfil the very tiresome demands of propriety by
attending the funeral service and paying a visit of
condolence to the widow.
Fedor Vasilievich and Peter Ivanovich had
been his nearest acquaintances. Peter Ivanovich
had studied law with Ivan Ilych and had considered
himself to be under obligations to him.
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Having told his wife at dinner-time of Ivan
Ilych's death, and of his conjecture that it might be
possible to get her brother transferred to their
circuit, Peter Ivanovich sacrificed his usual nap, put
on his evening clothes and drove to Ivan Ilych's
house.
At the entrance stood a carriage and two
cabs. Leaning against the wall in the hall
downstairs near the cloakstand was a coffin-lid
covered with cloth of gold, ornamented with gold
cord and tassels, that had been polished up with
metal powder. Two ladies in black were taking off
their fur cloaks. Peter Ivanovich recognized one of
them as Ivan Ilych's sister, but the other was a
stranger to him. His colleague Schwartz was just
coming downstairs, but on seeing Peter Ivanovich
enter he stopped and winked at him, as if to say:
"Ivan Ilych has made a mess of things -- not like
you and me."
Schwartz's face with his Piccadilly whiskers,
and his slim figure in evening dress, had as usual
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an air of elegant solemnity which contrasted with
the playfulness of his character and had a special
piquancy here, or so it seemed to Peter Ivanovich.
Peter Ivanovich allowed the ladies to
precede him and slowly followed them upstairs.
Schwartz did not come down but remained where
he was, and Peter Ivanovich understood that he
wanted to arrange where they should play bridge
that evening. The ladies went upstairs to the
widow's room, and Schwartz with seriously
compressed lips but a playful looking his eyes,
indicated by a twist of his eyebrows the room to the
right where the body lay.
Peter Ivanovich, like everyone else on such
occasions, entered feeling uncertain what he would
have to do. All he knew was that at such times it is
always safe to cross oneself. But he was not quite
sure whether one should make obseisances while
doing so. He therefore adopted a middle course.
On entering the room he began crossing himself
and made a slight movement resembling a bow. At
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the same time, as far as the motion of his head and
arm allowed, he surveyed the room. Two young
men -- apparently nephews, one of whom was a
high-school pupil -- were leaving the room, crossing
themselves as they did so. An old woman was
standing motionless, and a lady with strangely
arched eyebrows was saying something to her in a
whisper. A vigorous, resolute Church Reader, in a
frock- coat, was reading something in a loud voice
with an expression that precluded any
contradiction. The butler's assistant, Gerasim,
stepping lightly in front of Peter Ivanovich, was
strewing something on the floor. Noticing this,
Peter Ivanovich was immediately aware of a faint
odour of a decomposing body.
The last time he had called on Ivan Ilych,
Peter Ivanovich had seen Gerasim in the study.
Ivan Ilych had been particularly fond of him and he
was performing the duty of a sick nurse.
Peter Ivanovich continued to make the sign
of the cross slightly inclining his head in an
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intermediate direction between the coffin, the
Reader, and the icons on the table in a corner of
the room. Afterwards, when it seemed to him that
this movement of his arm in crossing himself had
gone on too long, he stopped and began to look at
the corpse.
The dead man lay, as dead men always lie,
in a specially heavy way, his rigid limbs sunk in the
soft cushions of the coffin, with the head forever
bowed on the pillow. His yellow waxen brow with
bald patches over his sunken temples was thrust up
in the way peculiar to the dead, the protruding nose
seeming to press on the upper lip. He was much
changed and grown even thinner since Peter
Ivanovich had last seen him, but, as is always the
case with the dead, his face was handsomer and
above all more dignified than when he was alive.
the expression on the face said that what was
necessary had been accomplished, and
accomplished rightly. Besides this there was in that
expression a reproach and a warning to the living.
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This warning seemed to Peter Ivanovich out of
place, or at least not applicable to him. He felt a
certain discomfort and so he hurriedly crossed
himself once more and turned and went out of the
door -- too hurriedly and too regardless of propriety,
as he himself was aware.
Schwartz was waiting for him in the
adjoining room with legs spread wide apart and
both hands toying with his top-hat behind his back.
The mere sight of that playful, well-groomed, and
elegant figure refreshed Peter Ivanovich. He felt
that Schwartz was above all these happenings and
would not surrender to any depressing influences.
His very look said that this incident of a church
service for Ivan Ilych could not be a sufficient
reason for infringing the order of the session -- in
other words, that it would certainly not prevent his
unwrapping a new pack of cards and shuffling them
that evening while a footman placed fresh candles
on the table: in fact, that there was no reason for
supposing that this incident would hinder their
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spending the evening agreeably. Indeed he said
this in a whisper as Peter Ivanovich passed him,
proposing that they should meet for a game at
Fedor Vasilievich's. But apparently Peter Ivanovich
was not destined to play bridge that evening.
Praskovya Fedorovna (a short, fat woman who
despite all efforts to the contrary had continued to
broaden steadily from her shoulders downwards
and who had the same extraordinarily arched
eyebrows as the lady who had been standing by the
coffin), dressed all in black, her head covered with
lace, came out of her own room with some other
ladies, conducted them to the room where the dead
body lay, and said: "The service will begin
immediately. Please go in."
Schwartz, making an indefinite bow, stood
still, evidently neither accepting nor declining this
invitation. Praskovya Fedorovna recognizing Peter
Ivanovich, sighed, went close up to him, took his
hand, and said: "I know you were a true friend to
Ivan Ilych..." and looked at him awaiting some
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suitable response. And Peter Ivanovich knew that,
just as it had been the right thing to cross himself
in that room, so what he had to do here was to
press her hand, sigh, and say, "Believe me..." So
he did all this and as he did it felt that the desired
result had been achieved: that both he and she
were touched.
"Come with me. I want to speak to you
before it begins," said the widow. "Give me your
arm."
Peter Ivanovich gave her his arm and they
went to the inner rooms, passing Schwartz who
winked at Peter Ivanovich compassionately.
"That does for our bridge! Don's object if
we find another player. Perhaps you can cut in
when you do escape," said his playful look.
Peter Ivanovich sighed still more deeply and
despondently, and Praskovya Fedorovna pressed
his arm gratefully. When they reached the
drawing-room, upholstered in pink cretonne and
lighted by a dim lamp, they sat down at the table --
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she on a sofa and Peter Ivanovich on a low pouffe,
the springs of which yielded spasmodically under
his weight. Praskovya Fedorovna had been on the
point of warning him to take another seat, but felt
that such a warning was out of keeping with her
present condition and so changed her mind. As he
sat down on the pouffe Peter Ivanovich recalled
how Ivan Ilych had arranged this room and had
consulted him regarding this pink cretonne with
green leaves. The whole room was full of furniture
and knick-knacks, and on her way to the sofa the
lace of the widow's black shawl caught on the edge
of the table. Peter Ivanovich rose to detach it, and
the springs of the pouffe, relieved of his weight,
rose also and gave him a push. The widow began
detaching her shawl herself, and Peter Ivanovich
again sat down, suppressing the rebellious springs
of the pouffe under him. But the widow had not
quite freed herself and Peter Ivanovich got up
again, and again the pouffe rebelled and even
creaked. When this was all over she took out a
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clean cambric handkerchief and began to weep.
The episode with the shawl and the struggle with
the pouffe had cooled Peter Ivanovich's emotions
and he sat there with a sullen look on his face.
This awkward situation was interrupted by Sokolov,
Ivan Ilych's butler, who came to report that the plot
in the cemetery that Praskovya Fedorovna had
chosen would cost tow hundred rubles. She
stopped weeping and, looking at Peter Ivanovich
with the air of a victim, remarked in French that it
was very hard for her. Peter Ivanovich made a
silent gesture signifying his full conviction that it
must indeed be so.
"Please smoke," she said in a magnanimous
yet crushed voice, and turned to discuss with
Sokolov the price of the plot for the grave.
Peter Ivanovich while lighting his cigarette
heard her inquiring very circumstantially into the
prices of different plots in the cemetery and finally
decide which she would take. when that was done
she gave instructions about engaging the choir.
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Sokolov then left the room.
"I look after everything myself," she told
Peter Ivanovich, shifting the albums that lay on the
table; and noticing that the table was endangered
by his cigarette-ash, she immediately passed him
an ash-tray, saying as she did so: "I consider it an
affectation to say that my grief prevents my
attending to practical affairs. On the contrary, if
anything can -- I won't say console me, but --
distract me, it is seeing to everything concerning
him." She again took out her handkerchief as if
preparing to cry, but suddenly, as if mastering her
feeling, she shook herself and began to speak
calmly. "But there is something I want to talk to
you about."
Peter Ivanovich bowed, keeping control of
the springs of the pouffe, which immediately began
quivering under him.
"He suffered terribly the last few days."
"Did he?" said Peter Ivanovich.
"Oh, terribly! He screamed unceasingly, not
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for minutes but for hours. for the last three days
he screamed incessantly. It was unendurable. I
cannot understand how I bore it; you could hear
him three rooms off. Oh, what I have suffered!"
"Is it possible that he was conscious all that
time?" asked Peter Ivanovich.
"Yes," she whispered. "To the last moment.
He took leave of us a quarter of an hour before he
died, and asked us to take Volodya away."
The thought of the suffering of this man he
had known so intimately, first as a merry little boy,
then as a schoolmate, and later as a grown-up
colleague, suddenly struck Peter Ivanovich with
horror, despite an unpleasant consciousness of his
own and this woman's dissimulation. He again saw
that brow, and that nose pressing down on the lip,
and felt afraid for himself.
"Three days of frightful suffering and the
death! Why, that might suddenly, at any time,
happen to me," he thought, and for a moment felt
terrified. But -- he did not himself know how -- the
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customary reflection at once occurred to him that
this had happened to Ivan Ilych and not to him,
and that it should not and could not happen to him,
and that to think that it could would be yielding to
depressing which he ought not to do, as Schwartz's
expression plainly showed. After which reflection
Peter Ivanovich felt reassured, and began to ask
with interest about the details of Ivan Ilych's death,
as though death was an accident natural to Ivan
Ilych but certainly not to himself.
After many details of the really dreadful
physical sufferings Ivan Ilych had endured (which
details he learnt only from the effect those
sufferings had produced on Praskovya Fedorovna's
nerves) the widow apparently found it necessary to
get to business.
"Oh, Peter Ivanovich, how hard it is! How
terribly, terribly hard!" and she again began to
weep.
Peter Ivanovich sighed and waited for her to
finish blowing her nose. When she had don so he
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said, "Believe me..." and she again began talking
and brought out what was evidently her chief
concern with him -- namely, to question him as to
how she could obtain a grant of money from the
government on the occasion of her husband's
death. She made it appear that she was asking
Peter Ivanovich's advice about her pension, but he
soon saw that she already knew about that to the
minutest detail, more even than he did himself. She
knew how much could be got out of the government
in consequence of her husband's death, but wanted
to find out whether she could not possibly extract
something more. Peter Ivanovich tried to think of
some means of doing so, but after reflecting for a
while and, out of propriety, condemning the
government for its niggardliness, he said he thought
that nothing more could be got. Then she sighed
and evidently began to devise means of getting rid
of her visitor. Noticing this, he put out his
cigarette, rose, pressed her hand, and went out into
the anteroom.
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In the dining-room where the clock stood
that Ivan Ilych had liked so much and had bought
at an antique shop, Peter Ivanovich met a priest
and a few acquaintances who had come to attend
the service, and he recognized Ivan Ilych's
daughter, a handsome young woman. She was in
black and her slim figure appeared slimmer than
ever. She had a gloomy, determined, almost angry
expression, and bowed to Peter Ivanovich as
though he were in some way to blame. Behind her,
with the same offended look, stood a wealthy young
man, and examining magistrate, whom Peter
Ivanovich also knew and who was her fiance, as he
had heard. He bowed mournfully to them and was
about to pass into the death-chamber, when from
under the stairs appeared the figure of Ivan Ilych's
schoolboy son, who was extremely like his father.
He seemed a little Ivan Ilych, such as Peter
Ivanovich remembered when they studied law
together. His tear-stained eyes had in them the
look that is seen in the eyes of boys of thirteen or
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fourteen who are not pure-minded. When he saw
Peter Ivanovich he scowled morosely and
shamefacedly. Peter Ivanovich nodded to him and
entered the death-chamber. The service began:
candles, groans, incense, tears, and sobs. Peter
Ivanovich stood looking gloomily down at his feet.
He did not look once at the dead man, did not yield
to any depressing influence, and was one of the
first to leave the room. There was no one in the
anteroom, but Gerasim darted out of the dead
man's room, rummaged with his strong hands
among the fur coats to find Peter Ivanovich's and
helped him on with it.
"Well, friend Gerasim," said Peter Ivanovich,
so as to say something. "It's a sad affair, isn't it?"
"It's God will. We shall all come to it some
day," said Gerasim, displaying his teeth -- the even
white teeth of a healthy peasant -- and, like a man
in the thick of urgent work, he briskly opened the
front door, called the coachman, helped Peter
Ivanovich into the sledge, and sprang back to the
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porch as if in readiness for what he had to do next.
Peter Ivanovich found the fresh air
particularly pleasant after the smell of incense, the
dead body, and carbolic acid.
"Where to sir?" asked the coachman.
"It's not too late even now....I'll call round
on Fedor Vasilievich."
He accordingly drove there and found them
just finishing the first rubber, so that it was quite
convenient for him to cut in.
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II
Ivan Ilych's life had been most simple and
most ordinary and therefore most terrible.
He had been a member of the Court of
Justice, and died at the age of forty-five. His father
had been an official who after serving in various
ministries and departments in Petersburg had made
the sort of career which brings men to positions
from which by reason of their long service they
cannot be dismissed, though they are obviously
unfit to hold any responsible position, and for whom
therefore posts are specially created, which though
fictitious carry salaries of from six to ten thousand
rubles that are not fictitious, and in receipt of which
they live on to a great age.
Such was the Privy Councillor and
superfluous member of various superfluous
institutions, Ilya Epimovich Golovin.
He had three sons, of whom Ivan Ilych was
the second. The eldest son was following in his
father's footsteps only in another department, and
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was already approaching that stage in the service
at which a similar sinecure would be reached. the
third son was a failure. He had ruined his prospects
in a number of positions and was not serving in the
railway department. His father and brothers, and
still more their wives, not merely disliked meeting
him, but avoided remembering his existence unless
compelled to do so. His sister had married Baron
Greff, a Petersburg official of her father's type.
Ivan Ilych was *le phenix de la famille* as people
said. He was neither as cold and formal as his elder
brother nor as wild as the younger, but was a happy
mean between them -- an intelligent polished, lively
and agreeable man. He had studied with his
younger brother at the School of Law, but the latter
had failed to complete the course and was expelled
when he was in the fifth class. Ivan Ilych finished
the course well. Even when he was at the School of
Law he was just what he remained for the rest of
his life: a capable, cheerful, good-natured, and
sociable man, though strict in the fulfillment of what
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he considered to be his duty: and he considered
his duty to be what was so considered by those in
authority. Neither as a boy nor as a man was he a
toady, but from early youth was by nature attracted
to people of high station as a fly is drawn to the
light, assimilating their ways and views of life and
establishing friendly relations with them. All the
enthusiasms of childhood and youth passed without
leaving much trace on him; he succumbed to
sensuality, to vanity, and latterly among the highest
classes to liberalism, but always within limits which
his instinct unfailingly indicated to him as correct.
At school he had done things which had
formerly seemed to him very horrid and made him
feel disgusted with himself when he did them; but
when later on he saw that such actions were done
by people of good position and that they did not
regard them as wrong, he was able not exactly to
regard them as right, but to forget about them
entirely or not be at all troubled at remembering
them.
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Having graduated from the School of Law
and qualified for the tenth rank of the civil service,
and having received money from his father for his
equipment, Ivan Ilych ordered himself clothes at
Scharmer's, the fashionable tailor, hung a medallion
inscribed *respice finem* on his watch-chain, took
leave of his professor and the prince who was
patron of the school, had a farewell dinner with his
comrades at Donon's first-class restaurant, and with
his new and fashionable portmanteau, linen,
clothes, shaving and other toilet appliances, and a
travelling rug, all purchased at the best shops, he
set off for one of the provinces where through his
father's influence, he had been attached to the
governor as an official for special service.
In the province Ivan Ilych soon arranged as
easy and agreeable a position for himself as he had
had at the School of Law. He performed his official
task, made his career, and at the same time
amused himself pleasantly and decorously.
Occasionally he paid official visits to country
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districts where he behaved with dignity both to his
superiors and inferiors, and performed the duties
entrusted to him, which related chiefly to the
sectarians, with an exactness and incorruptible
honesty of which he could not but feel proud.
In official matters, despite his youth and
taste for frivolous gaiety, he was exceedingly
reserved, punctilious, and even severe; but in
society he was often amusing and witty, and always
good- natured, correct in his manner, and *bon
enfant*, as the governor and his wife -- with whom
he was like one of the family -- used to say of him.
In the province he had an affair with a lady
who made advances to the elegant young lawyer,
and there was also a milliner; and there were
carousals with aides-de-camp who visited the
district, and after-supper visits to a certain outlying
street of doubtful reputation; and there was too
some obsequiousness to his chief and even to his
chief's wife, but all this was done with such a tone of
good breeding that no hard names could be applied
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to it. It all came under the heading of the French
saying: *"Il faut que jeunesse se passe."* It was
all done with clean hands, in clean linen, with
French phrases, and above all among people of the
best society and consequently with the approval of
people of rank.
So Ivan Ilych served for five years and then
came a change in his official life. The new and
reformed judicial institutions were introduced, and
new men were needed. Ivan Ilych became such a
new man. He was offered the post of examining
magistrate, and he accepted it though the post was
in another province and obliged him to give up the
connexions he had formed and to make new ones.
His friends met to give him a send-off; they had a
group photograph taken and presented him with a
silver cigarette-case, and he set off to his new post.
As examining magistrate Ivan Ilych was just
as *comme il faut* and decorous a man, inspiring
general respect and capable of separating his
official duties from his private life, as he had been
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when acting as an official on special service. His
duties now as examining magistrate were fare more
interesting and attractive than before. In his
former position it had been pleasant to wear an
undress uniform made by Scharmer, and to pass
through the crowd of petitioners and officials who
were timorously awaiting an audience with the
governor, and who envied him as with free and
easy gait he went straight into his chief's private
room to have a cup of tea and a cigarette with him.
But not many people had then been directly
dependent on him -- only police officials and the
sectarians when he went on special missions -- and
he liked to treat them politely, almost as comrades,
as if he were letting them feel that he who had the
power to crush them was treating them in this
simple, friendly way. There were then but few such
people. But now, as an examining magistrate, Ivan
Ilych felt that everyone without exception, even the
most important and self-satisfied, was in his power,
and that he need only write a few words on a sheet
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of paper with a certain heading, and this or that
important, self- satisfied person would be brought
before him in the role of an accused person or a
witness, and if he did not choose to allow him to sit
down, would have to stand before him and answer
his questions. Ivan Ilych never abused his power;
he tried on the contrary to soften its expression,
but the consciousness of it and the possibility of
softening its effect, supplied the chief interest and
attraction of his office. In his work itself, especially
in his examinations, he very soon acquired a
method of eliminating all considerations irrelevant
to the legal aspect of the case, and reducing even
the most complicated case to a form in which it
would be presented on paper only in its externals,
completely excluding his personal opinion of the
matter, while above all observing every prescribed
formality. The work was new and Ivan Ilych was
one of the first men to apply the new Code of 1864.
On taking up the post of examining
magistrate in a new town, he made new
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acquaintances and connexions, placed himself on a
new footing and assumed a somewhat different
tone. He took up an attitude of rather dignified
aloofness towards the provincial authorities, but
picked out the best circle of legal gentlemen and
wealthy gentry living in the town and assumed a
tone of slight dissatisfaction with the government,
of moderate liberalism, and of enlightened
citizenship. At the same time, without at all altering
the elegance of his toilet, he ceased shaving his chin
and allowed his beard to grow as it pleased.
Ivan Ilych settled down very pleasantly in
this new town. The society there, which inclined
towards opposition to the governor was friendly, his
salary was larger, and he began to play *vint* [a
form of bridge], which he found added not a little to
the pleasure of life, for he had a capacity for cards,
played good-humouredly, and calculated rapidly
and astutely, so that he usually won.
After living there for two years he met his
future wife, Praskovya Fedorovna Mikhel, who was
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the most attractive, clever, and brilliant girl of the
set in which he moved, and among other
amusements and relaxations from his labours as
examining magistrate, Ivan Ilych established light
and playful relations with her.
While he had been an official on special
service he had been accustomed to dance, but now
as an examining magistrate it was exceptional for
him to do so. If he danced now, he did it as if to
show that though he served under the reformed
order of things, and had reached the fifth official
rank, yet when it came to dancing he could do it
better than most people. So at the end of an
evening he sometimes danced with Praskovya
Fedorovna, and it was chiefly during these dances
that he captivated her. She fell in love with him.
Ivan Ilych had at first no definite intention of
marrying, but when the girl fell in love with him he
said to himself: "Really, why shouldn't I marry?"
Praskovya Fedorovna came of a good family,
was not bad looking, and had some little property.
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Ivan Ilych might have aspired to a more brilliant
match, but even this was good. He had his salary,
and she, he hoped, would have an equal income.
She was well connected, and was a sweet, pretty,
and thoroughly correct young woman. to say that
Ivan Ilych married because he fell in love with
Praskovya Fedorovna and found that she
sympathized with his views of life would be as
incorrect as to say that he married because his
social circle approved of the match. He was swayed
by both these considerations: the marriage gave
him personal satisfaction, and at the same time it
was considered the right thing by the most highly
placed of his associates.
So Ivan Ilych got married.
The preparations for marriage and the
beginning of married life, with its conjugal caresses,
the new furniture, new crockery, and new linen,
were very pleasant until his wife became pregnant -
- so that Ivan Ilych had begun to think that
marriage would not impair the easy, agreeable, gay
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and always decorous character of his life, approved
of by society and regarded by himself as natural,
but would even improve it. But from the first
months of his wife's pregnancy, something new,
unpleasant, depressing, and unseemly, and from
which there was no way of escape, unexpectedly
showed itself.
His wife, without any reason -- *de gaiete
de coeur* as Ivan Ilych expressed it to himself --
began to disturb the pleasure and propriety of their
life. She began to be jealous without any cause,
expected him to devote his whole attention to her,
found fault with everything, and made coarse and
ill-mannered scenes.
At first Ivan Ilych hoped to escape from the
unpleasantness of this state of affairs by the same
easy and decorous relation to life that had served
him heretofore: he tried to ignore his wife's
disagreeable moods, continued to live in his usual
easy and pleasant way, invited friends to his house
for a game of cards, and also tried going out to his
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club or spending his evenings with friends. But one
day his wife began upbraiding him so vigorously,
using such coarse words, and continued to abuse
him every time he did not fulfil her demands, so
resolutely and with such evident determination not
to give way till he submitted -- that is, till he stayed
at home and was bored just as she was -- that he
became alarmed. He now realized that matrimony
-- at any rate with Praskovya Fedorovna -- was not
always conducive to the pleasures and amenities of
life, but on the contrary often infringed both
comfort and propriety, and that he must therefore
entrench himself against such infringement. And
Ivan Ilych began to seek for means of doing so.
His official duties were the one thing that imposed
upon Praskovya Fedorovna, and by means of his
official work and the duties attached to it he began
struggling with his wife to secure his own
independence.
With the birth of their child, the attempts to
feed it and the various failures in doing so, and with
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the real and imaginary illnesses of mother and
child, in which Ivan Ilych's sympathy was
demanded but about which he understood nothing,
the need of securing for himself an existence
outside his family life became still more imperative.
As his wife grew more irritable and exacting
and Ivan Ilych transferred the center of gravity of
his life more and more to his official work, so did he
grow to like his work better and became more
ambitious than before.
Very soon, within a year of his wedding,
Ivan Ilych had realized that marriage, though it
may add some comforts to life, is in fact a very
intricate and difficult affair towards which in order
to perform one's duty, that is, to lead a decorous life
approved of by society, one must adopt a definite
attitude just as towards one's official duties.
And Ivan Ilych evolved such an attitude
towards married life. He only required of it those
conveniences -- dinner at home, housewife, and
bed -- which it could give him, and above all that
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propriety of external forms required by public
opinion. For the rest he looked for lighthearted
pleasure and propriety, and was very thankful when
he found them, but if he met with antagonism and
querulousness he at once retired into his separate
fenced-off world of official duties, where he found
satisfaction.
Ivan Ilych was esteemed a good official, and
after three years was made Assistant Public
Prosecutor. His new duties, their importance, the
possibility of indicting and imprisoning anyone he
chose, the publicity his speeches received, and the
success he had in all these things, made his work
still more attractive.
More children came. His wife became more
and more querulous and ill-tempered, but the
attitude Ivan Ilych had adopted towards his home
life rendered him almost impervious to her
grumbling.
After seven years' service in that town he
was transferred to another province as Public
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Prosecutor. They moved, but were short of money
and his wife did not like the place they moved to.
Though the salary was higher the cost of living was
greater, besides which two of their children died
and family life became still more unpleasant for
him.
Praskovya Fedorovna blamed her husband
for every inconvenience they encountered in their
new home. Most of the conversations between
husband and wife, especially as to the children's
education, led to topics which recalled former
disputes, and these disputes were apt to flare up
again at any moment. There remained only those
rare periods of amorousness which still came to
them at times but did not last long. These were
islets at which they anchored for a while and then
again set out upon that ocean of veiled hostility
which showed itself in their aloofness from one
another. This aloofness might have grieved Ivan
Ilych had he considered that it ought not to exist,
but he now regarded the position as normal, and
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even made it the goal at which he aimed in family
life. His aim was to free himself more and more
from those unpleasantness and to give them a
semblance of harmlessness and propriety. He
attained this by spending less and less time with his
family, and when obliged to be at home he tried to
safeguard his position by the presence of outsiders.
The chief thing however was that he had his official
duties. The whole interest of his life now centered
in the official world and that interest absorbed him.
The consciousness of his power, being able to ruin
anybody he wished to ruin, the importance, even
the external dignity of his entry into court, or
meetings with his subordinates, his success with
superiors and inferiors, and above all his masterly
handling of cases, of which he was conscious -- all
this gave him pleasure and filled his life, together
with chats with his colleagues, dinners, and bridge.
So that on the whole Ivan Ilych's life continued to
flow as he considered it should do -- pleasantly and
properly.
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so things continued for another seven years.
His eldest daughter was already sixteen, another
child had died, and only one son was left, a
schoolboy and a subject of dissension. Ivan Ilych
wanted to put him in the School of Law, but to spite
him Praskovya Fedorovna entered him at the High
School. The daughter had been educated at home
and had turned out well: the boy did not learn
badly either.
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III
So Ivan Ilych lived for seventeen years after his
marriage. He was already a Public Prosecutor of
long standing, and had declined several proposed
transfers while awaiting a more desirable post,
when an unanticipated and unpleasant occurrence
quite upset the peaceful course of his life. He was
expecting to be offered the post of presiding judge
in a University town, but Happe somehow came to
the front and obtained the appointment instead.
Ivan Ilych became irritable, reproached Happe, and
quarrelled both him and with his immediate
superiors -- who became colder to him and again
passed him over when other appointments were
made.
This was in 1880, the hardest year of Ivan
Ilych's life. It was then that it became evident on
the one hand that his salary was insufficient for
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them to live on, and on the other that he had been
forgotten, and not only this, but that what was for
him the greatest and most cruel injustice appeared
to others a quite ordinary occurrence. Even his
father did not consider it his duty to help him. Ivan
Ilych felt himself abandoned by everyone, and that
they regarded his position with a salary of 3,500
rubles as quite normal and even fortunate. He
alone knew that with the consciousness of the
injustices done him, with his wife's incessant
nagging, and with the debts he had contracted by
living beyond his means, his position was far from
normal.
In order to save money that summer he
obtained leave of absence and went with his wife to
live in the country at her brother's place.
In the country, without his work, he
experienced *ennui* for the first time in his life,
and not only *ennui* but intolerable depression,
and he decided that it was impossible to go on living
like that, and that it was necessary to take energetic
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measures.
Having passed a sleepless night pacing up
and down the veranda, he decided to go to
Petersburg and bestir himself, in order to punish
those who had failed to appreciate him and to get
transferred to another ministry.
Next day, despite many protests from his
wife and her brother, he started for Petersburg with
the sole object of obtaining a post with a salary of
five thousand rubles a year. He was no longer bent
on any particular department, or tendency, or kind
of activity. All he now wanted was an appointment
to another post with a salary of five thousand
rubles, either in the administration, in the banks,
with the railways in one of the Empress Marya's
Institutions, or even in the customs -- but it had to
carry with it a salary of five thousand rubles and be
in a ministry other than that in which they had
failed to appreciate him.
And this quest of Ivan Ilych's was crowned
with remarkable and unexpected success. At Kursk
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an acquaintance of his, F. I. Ilyin, got into the first-
class carriage, sat down beside Ivan Ilych, and told
him of a telegram just received by the governor of
Kursk announcing that a change was about to take
place in the ministry: Peter Ivanovich was to be
superseded by Ivan Semonovich.
The proposed change, apart from its
significance for Russia, had a special significance
for Ivan Ilych, because by bringing forward a new
man, Peter Petrovich, and consequently his friend
Zachar Ivanovich, it was highly favourable for Ivan
Ilych, since Sachar Ivanovich was a friend and
colleague of his.
In Moscow this news was confirmed, and on
reaching Petersburg Ivan Ilych found Zachar
Ivanovich and received a definite promise of an
appointment in his former Department of Justice.
A week later he telegraphed to his wife:
"Zachar in Miller's place. I shall receive
appointment on presentation of report."
Thanks to this change of personnel, Ivan
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Ilych had unexpectedly obtained an appointment in
his former ministry which placed him two states
above his former colleagues besides giving him five
thousand rubles salary and three thousand five
hundred rubles for expenses connected with his
removal. All his ill humour towards his former
enemies and the whole department vanished, and
Ivan Ilych was completely happy.
He returned to the country more cheerful
and contented than he had been for a long time.
Praskovya Fedorovna also cheered up and a truce
was arranged between them. Ivan Ilych told of how
he had been feted by everybody in Petersburg, how
all those who had been his enemies were put to
shame and now fawned on him, how envious they
were of his appointment, and how much everybody
in Petersburg had liked him.
Praskovya Fedorovna listened to all this and
appeared to believe it. She did not contradict
anything, but only made plans for their life in the
town to which they were going. Ivan Ilych saw
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with delight that these plans were his plans, that he
and his wife agreed, and that, after a stumble, his
life was regaining its due and natural character of
pleasant lightheartedness and decorum.
Ivan Ilych had come back for a short time
only, for he had to take up his new duties on the
10th of September. Moreover, he needed time to
settle into the new place, to move all his belongings
from the province, and to buy and order many
additional things: in a word, to make such
arrangements as he had resolved on, which were
almost exactly what Praskovya Fedorovna too had
decided on.
Now that everything had happened so
fortunately, and that he and his wife were at one in
their aims and moreover saw so little of one
another, they got on together better than they had
done since the first years of marriage. Ivan Ilych
had thought of taking his family away with him at
once, but the insistence of his wife's brother and
her sister-in-law, who had suddenly become
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particularly amiable and friendly to him and his
family, induced him to depart alone.
So he departed, and the cheerful state of
mind induced by his success and by the harmony
between his wife and himself, the one intensifying
the other, did not leave him. He found a delightful
house, just the thing both he and his wife had
dreamt of. Spacious, lofty reception rooms in the
old style, a convenient and dignified study, rooms
for his wife and daughter, a study for his son -- it
might have been specially built for them. Ivan Ilych
himself superintended the arrangements, chose the
wallpapers, supplemented the furniture (preferably
with antiques which he considered particularly
*comme il faut*), and supervised the upholstering.
Everything progressed and progressed and
approached the ideal he had set himself: even
when things were only half completed they
exceeded his expectations. He saw what a refined
and elegant character, free from vulgarity, it would
all have when it was ready. On falling asleep he
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pictured to himself how the reception room would
look. Looking at the yet unfinished drawing room
he could see the fireplace, the screen, the what-not,
the little chairs dotted here and there, the dishes
and plates on the walls, and the bronzes, as they
would be when everything was in place. He was
pleased by the thought of how his wife and
daughter, who shared his taste n this matter, would
be impressed by it. They were certainly not
expecting as much. He had been particularly
successful in finding, and buying cheaply, antiques
which gave a particularly aristocratic character to
the whole place. But in his letters he intentionally
understated everything in order to be able to
surprise them. All this so absorbed him that his
new duties -- though he liked his official work --
interested him less than he had expected.
Sometimes he even had moments of absent-
mindedness during the court sessions and would
consider whether he should have straight or curved
cornices for his curtains. He was so interested in it
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all that he often did things himself, rearranging the
furniture, or rehanging the curtains. Once when
mounting a step- ladder to show the upholsterer,
who did not understand, how he wanted the
hangings draped, he mad a false step and slipped,
but being a strong and agile man he clung on and
only knocked his side against the knob of the
window frame. The bruised place was painful but
the pain soon passed, and he felt particularly bright
and well just then. He wrote: "I feel fifteen years
younger." He thought he would have everything
ready by September, but it dragged on till mid-
October. But the result was charming not only in
his eyes but to everyone who saw it.
In reality it was just what is usually seen in
the houses of people of moderate means who want
to appear rich, and therefore succeed only in
resembling others like themselves: there are
damasks, dark wood, plants, rugs, and dull and
polished bronzes -- all the things people of a certain
class have in order to resemble other people of that
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class. His house was so like the others that it
would never have been noticed, but to him it all
seemed to be quite exceptional. He was very
happy when he met his family at the station and
brought them to the newly furnished house all lit up,
where a footman in a white tie opened the door into
the hall decorated with plants, and when they went
on into the drawing-room and the study uttering
exclamations of delight. He conducted them
everywhere, drank in their praises eagerly, and
beamed with pleasure. At tea that evening, when
Praskovya Fedorovna among others things asked
him about his fall, he laughed, and showed them
how he had gone flying and had frightened the
upholsterer.
"It's a good thing I'm a bit of an athlete.
Another man might have been killed, but I merely
knocked myself, just here; it hurts when it's
touched, but it's passing off already -- it's only a
bruise."
So they began living in their new home -- in
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which, as always happens, when they got
thoroughly settled in they found they were just one
room short -- and with the increased income, which
as always was just a little (some five hundred
rubles) too little, but it was all very nice.
Things went particularly well at first, before
everything was finally arranged and while
something had still to be done: this thing bought,
that thing ordered, another thing moved, and
something else adjusted. Though there were some
disputes between husband and wife, they were both
so well satisfied and had so much to do that it all
passed off without any serious quarrels. When
nothing was left to arrange it became rather dull
and something seemed to be lacking, but they were
then making acquaintances, forming habits, and life
was growing fuller.
Ivan Ilych spent his mornings at the law
court and came home to diner, and at first he was
generally in a good humour, though he occasionally
became irritable just on account of his house.
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(Every spot on the tablecloth or the upholstery, and
every broken window- blind string, irritated him.
He had devoted so much trouble to arranging it all
that every disturbance of it distressed him.) But on
the whole his life ran its course as he believed life
should do: easily, pleasantly, and decorously.
He got up at nine, drank his coffee, read the
paper, and then put on his undress uniform and
went to the law courts. there the harness in which
he worked had already been stretched to fit him
and he donned it without a hitch: petitioners,
inquiries at the chancery, the chancery itself, and
the sittings public and administrative. In all this
the thing was to exclude everything fresh and vital,
which always disturbs the regular course of official
business, and to admit only official relations with
people, and then only on official grounds. A man
would come, for instance, wanting some
information. Ivan Ilych, as one in whose sphere the
matter did not lie, would have nothing to do with
him: but if the man had some business with him in
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his official capacity, something that could be
expressed on officially stamped paper, he would do
everything, positively everything he could within the
limits of such relations, and in doing so would
maintain the semblance of friendly human
relations, that is, would observe the courtesies of
life. As soon as the official relations ended, so did
everything else. Ivan Ilych possessed this capacity
to separate his real life from the official side of
affairs and not mix the two, in the highest degree,
and by long practice and natural aptitude had
brought it to such a pitch that sometimes, in the
manner of a virtuoso, he would even allow himself
to let the human and official relations mingle. He
let himself do this just because he felt that he could
at any time he chose resume the strictly official
attitude again and drop the human relation. and he
did it all easily, pleasantly, correctly, and even
artistically. In the intervals between the sessions
he smoked, drank tea, chatted a little about
politics, a little about general topics, a little about
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cards, but most of all about official appointments.
Tired, but with the feelings of a virtuoso -- one of
the first violins who has played his part in an
orchestra with precision -- he would return home to
find that his wife and daughter had been out paying
calls, or had a visitor, and that his son had been to
school, had done his homework with his tutor, and
was surely learning what is taught at High Schools.
Everything was as it should be. After dinner, if
they had no visitors, Ivan Ilych sometimes read a
book that was being much discussed at the time,
and in the evening settled down to work, that is,
read official papers, compared the depositions of
witnesses, and noted paragraphs of the Code
applying to them. This was neither dull nor
amusing. It was dull when he might have been
playing bridge, but if no bridge was available it was
at any rate better than doing nothing or sitting with
his wife. Ivan Ilych's chief pleasure was giving little
dinners to which he invited men and women of
good social position, and just as his drawing-room
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resembled all other drawing-rooms so did his
enjoyable little parties resemble all other such
parties.
Once they even gave a dance. Ivan Ilych
enjoyed it and everything went off well, except that
it led to a violent quarrel with his wife about the
cakes and sweets. Praskovya Fedorovna had made
her own plans, but Ivan Ilych insisted on getting
everything from an expensive confectioner and
ordered too many cakes, and the quarrel occurred
because some of those cakes were left over and the
confectioner's bill came to forty-five rubles. It was
a great and disagreeable quarrel. Praskovya
Fedorovna called him "a fool and an imbecile," and
he clutched at his head and made angry allusions to
divorce.
But the dance itself had been enjoyable.
The best people were there, and Ivan Ilych had
danced with Princess Trufonova, a sister of the
distinguished founder of the Society "Bear My
Burden".
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The pleasures connected with his work were
pleasures of ambition; his social pleasures were
those of vanity; but Ivan Ilych's greatest pleasure
was playing bridge. He acknowledged that
whatever disagreeable incident happened in his life,
the pleasure that beamed like a ray of light above
everything else was to sit down to bridge with good
players, not noisy partners, and of course to four-
handed bridge (with five players it was annoying to
have to stand out, though one pretended not to
mind), to play a clever and serious game (when the
cards allowed it) and then to have supper and drink
a glass of wine. after a game of bridge, especially if
he had won a little (to win a large sum was
unpleasant), Ivan Ilych went to bed in a specially
good humour.
So they lived. they formed a circle of
acquaintances among the best people and were
visited by people of importance and by young folk.
In their views as to their acquaintances, husband,
wife and daughter were entirely agreed, and tacitly
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and unanimously kept at arm's length and shook off
the various shabby friends and relations who, with
much show of affection, gushed into the drawing-
room with its Japanese plates on the walls. Soon
these shabby friends ceased to obtrude themselves
and only the best people remained in the Golovins'
set.
Young men made up to Lisa, and
Petrishchev, an examining magistrate and Dmitri
Ivanovich Petrishchev's son and sole heir, began to
be so attentive to her that Ivan Ilych had already
spoken to Praskovya Fedorovna about it, and
considered whether they should not arrange a party
for them, or get up some private theatricals.
So they lived, and all went well, without
change, and life flowed pleasantly.
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IV
They were all in good health. It could not be
called ill health if Ivan Ilych sometimes said that he
had a queer taste in his mouth and felt some
discomfort in his left side.
But this discomfort increased and, though
not exactly painful, grew into a sense of pressure in
his side accompanied by ill humour. And his
irritability became worse and worse and began to
mar the agreeable, easy, and correct life that had
established itself in the Golovin family. Quarrels
between husband and wife became more and more
frequent, and soon the ease and amenity
disappeared and even the decorum was barely
maintained. Scenes again became frequent, and
very few of those islets remained on which husband
and wife could meet without an explosion.
Praskovya Fedorovna now had good reason to say
that her husband's temper was trying. With
characteristic exaggeration she said he had always
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had a dreadful temper, and that it had needed all
her good nature to put up with it for twenty years.
It was true that now the quarrels were started by
him. His bursts of temper always came just before
dinner, often just as he began to eat his soup.
Sometimes he noticed that a plate or dish was
chipped, or the food was not right, or his son put
his elbow on the table, or his daughter's hair was
not done as he liked it, and for all this he blamed
Praskovya Fedorovna. At first she retorted and said
disagreeable things to him, but once or twice he fell
into such a rage at the beginning of dinner that she
realized it was due to some physical derangement
brought on by taking food, and so she restrained
herself and did not answer, but only hurried to get
the dinner over. She regarded this self-restraint as
highly praiseworthy. Having come to the
conclusion that her husband had a dreadful temper
and made her life miserable, she began to feel
sorry for herself, and the more she pitied herself the
more she hated her husband. She began to wish
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he would die; yet she did not want him to die
because then his salary would cease. And this
irritated her against him still more. She considered
herself dreadfully unhappy just because not even
his death could save her, and though she concealed
her exasperation, that hidden exasperation of hers
increased his irritation also.
After one scene in which Ivan Ilych had
been particularly unfair and after which he had said
in explanation that he certainly was irritable but
that it was due to his not being well, she said that
he was ill it should be attended to, and insisted on
his going to see a celebrated doctor.
He went. Everything took place as he had
expected and as it always does. There was the
usual waiting and the important air assumed by the
doctor, with which he was so familiar (resembling
that which he himself assumed in court), and the
sounding and listening, and the questions which
called for answers that were foregone conclusions
and were evidently unnecessary, and the look of
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importance which implied that "if only you put
yourself in our hands we will arrange everything --
we know indubitably how it has to be done, always
in the same way for everybody alike." It was all
just as it was in the law courts. The doctor put on
just the same air towards him as he himself put on
towards an accused person.
The doctor said that so-and-so indicated
that there was so- and-so inside the patient, but if
the investigation of so-and-so did not confirm this,
then he must assume that and that. If he assumed
that and that, then...and so on. To Ivan Ilych only
one question was important: was his case serious
or not? But the doctor ignored that inappropriate
question. From his point of view it was not the one
under consideration, the real question was to
decide between a floating kidney, chronic catarrh, or
appendicitis. It was not a question the doctor
solved brilliantly, as it seemed to Ivan Ilych, in
favour of the appendix, with the reservation that
should an examination of the urine give fresh
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indications the matter would be reconsidered. All
this was just what Ivan Ilych had himself brilliantly
accomplished a thousand times in dealing with men
on trial. The doctor summed up just as brilliantly,
looking over his spectacles triumphantly and even
gaily at the accused. From the doctor's summing
up Ivan Ilych concluded that things were bad, but
that for the doctor, and perhaps for everybody else,
it was a matter of indifference, though for him it
was bad. And this conclusion struck him painfully,
arousing in him a great feeling of pity for himself
and of bitterness towards the doctor's indifference
to a matter of such importance.
He said nothing of this, but rose, placed the
doctor's fee on the table, and remarked with a sigh:
"We sick people probably often put inappropriate
questions. But tell me, in general, is this complaint
dangerous, or not?..."
The doctor looked at him sternly over his
spectacles with one eye, as if to say: "Prisoner, if
you will not keep to the questions put to you, I
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shall be obliged to have you removed from the
court."
"I have already told you what I consider
necessary and proper. The analysis may show
something more." And the doctor bowed.
Ivan Ilych went out slowly, seated himself
disconsolately in his sledge, and drove home. All
the way home he was going over what the doctor
had said, trying to translate those complicated,
obscure, scientific phrases into plain language and
find in them an answer to the question: "Is my
condition bad? Is it very bad? Or is there as yet
nothing much wrong?" And it seemed to him that
the meaning of what the doctor had said was that it
was very bad. Everything in the streets seemed
depressing. The cabmen, the houses, the passers-
by, and the shops, were dismal. His ache, this dull
gnawing ache that never ceased for a moment,
seemed to have acquired a new and more serious
significance from the doctor's dubious remarks.
Ivan Ilych now watched it with a new and
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oppressive feeling.
He reached home and began to tell his wife
about it. She listened, but in the middle of his
account his daughter came in with her hat on,
ready to go out with her mother. She sat down
reluctantly to listen to this tedious story, but could
not stand it long, and her mother too did not hear
him to the end.
"Well, I am very glad," she said. "Mind now
to take your medicine regularly. Give me the
prescription and I'll send Gerasim to the chemist's."
And she went to get ready to go out.
While she was in the room Ivan Ilych had
hardly taken time to breathe, but he sighed deeply
when she left it.
"Well," he thought, "perhaps it isn't so bad
after all."
He began taking his medicine and following
the doctor's directions, which had been altered
after the examination of the urine. but then it
happened that there was a contradiction between
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the indications drawn from the examination of the
urine and the symptoms that showed themselves.
It turned out that what was happening differed
from what the doctor had told him, and that he had
either forgotten or blundered, or hidden something
from him. He could not, however, be blamed for
that, and Ivan Ilych still obeyed his orders implicitly
and at first derived some comfort from doing so.
From the time of his visit to the doctor, Ivan
Ilych's chief occupation was the exact fulfillment of
the doctor's instructions regarding hygiene and the
taking of medicine, and the observation of his pain
and his excretions. His chief interest came to be
people's ailments and people's health. When
sickness, deaths, or recoveries were mentioned in
his presence, especially when the illness resembled
his own, he listened with agitation which he tried to
hide, asked questions, and applied what he heard to
his own case.
The pain did not grow less, but Ivan Ilych
made efforts to force himself to think that he was
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better. And he could do this so long as nothing
agitated him. But as soon as he had any
unpleasantness with his wife, any lack of success in
his official work, or held bad cards at bridge, he
was at once acutely sensible of his disease. He had
formerly borne such mischances, hoping soon to
adjust what was wrong, to master it and attain
success, or make a grand slam. But now every
mischance upset him and plunged him into despair.
He would say to himself: "there now, just as I was
beginning to get better and the medicine had begun
to take effect, comes this accursed misfortune, or
unpleasantness..." And he was furious with the
mishap, or with the people who were causing the
unpleasantness and killing him, for he felt that this
fury was killing him but he could not restrain it.
One would have thought that it should have been
clear to him that this exasperation with
circumstances and people aggravated his illness,
and that he ought therefore to ignore unpleasant
occurrences. But he drew the very opposite
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conclusion: he said that he needed peace, and he
watched for everything that might disturb it and
became irritable at the slightest infringement of it.
His condition was rendered worse by the fact that
he read medical books and consulted doctors. The
progress of his disease was so gradual that he could
deceive himself when comparing one day with
another -- the difference was so slight. But when
he consulted the doctors it seemed to him that he
was getting worse, and even very rapidly. Yet
despite this he was continually consulting them.
That month he went to see another
celebrity, who told him almost the same as the first
had done but put his questions rather differently,
and the interview with this celebrity only increased
Ivan Ilych's doubts and fears. A friend of a friend of
his, a very good doctor, diagnosed his illness again
quite differently from the others, and though he
predicted recovery, his questions and suppositions
bewildered Ivan Ilych still more and increased his
doubts. A homeopathist diagnosed the disease in
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yet another way, and prescribed medicine which
Ivan Ilych took secretly for a week. But after a
week, not feeling any improvement and having lost
confidence both in the former doctor's treatment
and in this one's, he became still more despondent.
One day a lady acquaintance mentioned a cure
effected by a wonder-working icon. Ivan Ilych
caught himself listening attentively and beginning to
believe that it had occurred. This incident alarmed
him. "Has my mind really weakened to such an
extent?" he asked himself. "Nonsense! It's all
rubbish. I mustn't give way to nervous fears but
having chosen a doctor must keep strictly to his
treatment. That is what I will do. Now it's all
settled. I won't think about it, but will follow the
treatment seriously till summer, and then we shall
see. From now there must be no more of this
wavering!" this was easy to say but impossible to
carry out. The pain in his side oppressed him and
seemed to grow worse and more incessant, while
the taste in his mouth grew stranger and stranger.
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It seemed to him that his breath had a disgusting
smell, and he was conscious of a loss of appetite
and strength. There was no deceiving himself:
something terrible, new, and more important than
anything before in his life, was taking place within
him of which he alone was aware. Those about him
did not understand or would not understand it, but
thought everything in the world was going on as
usual. That tormented Ivan Ilych more than
anything. He saw that his household, especially his
wife and daughter who were in a perfect whirl of
visiting, did not understand anything of it and were
annoyed that he was so depressed and so exacting,
as if he were to blame for it. Though they tried to
disguise it he saw that he was an obstacle in their
path, and that his wife had adopted a definite line in
regard to his illness and kept to it regardless of
anything he said or did. Her attitude was this: "You
know," she would say to her friends, "Ivan Ilych
can't do as other people do, and keep to the
treatment prescribed for him. One day he'll take
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his drops and keep strictly to his diet and go to bed
in good time, but the next day unless I watch him
he'll suddenly forget his medicine, eat sturgeon --
which is forbidden -- and sit up playing cards till
one o'clock in the morning."
"Oh, come, when was that?" Ivan Ilych
would ask in vexation. "Only once at Peter
Ivanovich's."
"And yesterday with shebek."
"Well, even if I hadn't stayed up, this pain
would have kept me awake."
"Be that as it may you'll never get well like
that, but will always make us wretched."
Praskovya Fedorovna's attitude to Ivan
Ilych's illness, as she expressed it both to others
and to him, was that it was his own fault and was
another of the annoyances he caused her. Ivan
ilych felt that this opinion escaped her involuntarily
-- but that did not make it easier for him.
At the law courts too, Ivan Ilych noticed, or
thought he noticed, a strange attitude towards
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himself. It sometimes seemed to him that people
were watching him inquisitively as a man whose
place might soon be vacant. Then again, his friends
would suddenly begin to chaff him in a friendly way
about his low spirits, as if the awful, horrible, and
unheard-of thing that was going on within him,
incessantly gnawing at him and irresistibly drawing
him away, was a very agreeable subject for jests.
Schwartz in particular irritated him by his jocularity,
vivacity, and *savoir-faire*, which reminded him of
what he himself had been ten years ago.
Friends came to make up a set and they sat
down to cards. They dealt, bending the new cards
to soften them, and he sorted the diamonds in his
hand and found he had seven. His partner said "No
trumps" and supported him with two diamonds.
What more could be wished for? It ought to be
jolly and lively. They would make a grand slam.
But suddenly Ivan Ilych was conscious of that
gnawing pain, that taste in his mouth, and it
seemed ridiculous that in such circumstances he
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should be pleased to make a grand slam.
He looked at his partner Mikhail
Mikhaylovich, who rapped the table with his strong
hand and instead of snatching up the tricks pushed
the cards courteously and indulgently towards Ivan
Ilych that he might have the pleasure of gathering
them up without the trouble of stretching out his
hand for them. "Does he think I am too weak to
stretch out my arm?" thought Ivan Ilych, and
forgetting what he was doing he over-trumped his
partner, missing the grand slam by three tricks.
And what was most awful of all was that he saw
how upset Mikhail Mikhaylovich was about it but did
not himself care. And it was dreadful to realize why
he did not care.
They all saw that he was suffering, and said:
"We can stop if you are tired. Take a rest." Lie
down? No, he was not at all tired, and he finished
the rubber. All were gloomy and silent. Ivan Ilych
felt that he had diffused this gloom over them and
could not dispel it. They had supper and went
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away, and Ivan Ilych was left alone with the
consciousness that his life was poisoned and was
poisoning the lives of others, and that this poison
did not weaken but penetrated more and more
deeply into his whole being.
With this consciousness, and with physical
pain besides the terror, he must go to bed, often to
lie awake the greater part of the night. Next
morning he had to get up again, dress, go to the
law courts, speak, and write; or if he did not go out,
spend at home those twenty-four hours a day each
of which was a torture. And he had to live thus all
alone on the brink of an abyss, with no one who
understood or pitied him.
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V
So one month passed and then another. Just
before the New Year his brother-in-law came to
town and stayed at their house. Ivan Ilych was at
the law courts and Praskovya Fedorovna had gone
shopping. When Ivan Ilych came home and entered
his study he found his brother-in-law there -- a
healthy, florid man -- unpacking his portmanteau
himself. He raised his head on hearing Ivan Ilych's
footsteps and looked up at him for a moment
without a word. That stare told Ivan Ilych
everything. His brother-in-law opened his mouth to
utter an exclamation of surprise but checked
himself, and that action confirmed it all.
"I have changed, eh?"
"Yes, there is a change."
And after that, try as he would to get his
brother-in-law to return to the subject of his looks,
the latter would say nothing about it. Praskovya
Fedorovna came home and her brother went out to
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her. Ivan Ilych locked to door and began to
examine himself in the glass, first full face, then in
profile. He took up a portrait of himself taken with
his wife, and compared it with what he saw in the
glass. The change in him was immense. Then he
bared his arms to the elbow, looked at them, drew
the sleeves down again, sat down on an ottoman,
and grew blacker than night.
"No, no, this won't do!" he said to himself,
and jumped up, went to the table, took up some
law papers and began to read them, but could not
continue. He unlocked the door and went into the
reception-room. The door leading to the drawing-
room was shut. He approached it on tiptoe and
listened.
"No, you are exaggerating!" Praskovya
Fedorovna was saying.
"Exaggerating! Don't you see it? Why, he's
a dead man! Look at his eyes -- there's no life in
them. But what is it that is wrong with him?"
"No one knows. Nikolaevich [that was
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another doctor] said something, but I don't know
what. And Seshchetitsky [this was the celebrated
specialist] said quite the contrary..."
Ivan Ilych walked away, went to his own
room, lay down, and began musing; "The kidney, a
floating kidney." He recalled all the doctors had
told him of how it detached itself and swayed
about. And by an effort of imagination he tried to
catch that kidney and arrest it and support it. So
little was needed for this, it seemed to him. "No,
I'll go to see Peter Ivanovich again." [That was the
friend whose friend was a doctor.] He rang,
ordered the carriage, and got ready to go.
"Where are you going, Jean?" asked his wife
with a specially sad and exceptionally kind look.
This exceptionally kind look irritated him.
He looked morosely at her.
"I must go to see Peter Ivanovich."
He went to see Peter Ivanovich, and
together they went to see his friend, the doctor. He
was in, and Ivan Ilych had a long talk with him.
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Reviewing the anatomical and physiological
details of what in the doctor's opinion was going on
inside him, he understood it all.
There was something, a small thing, in the
vermiform appendix. It might all come right. Only
stimulate the energy of one organ and check the
activity of another, then absorption would take place
and everything would come right. He got home
rather late for dinner, ate his dinner, and conversed
cheerfully, but could not for a long time bring
himself to go back to work in his room. At last,
however, he went to his study and did what was
necessary, but the consciousness that he had put
something aside -- an important, intimate matter
which he would revert to when his work was done --
never left him. When he had finished his work he
remembered that this intimate matter was the
thought of his vermiform appendix. But he did not
give himself up to it, and went to the drawing-room
for tea. There were callers there, including the
examining magistrate who was a desirable match
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for his daughter, and they were conversing, playing
the piano, and singing. Ivan Ilych, as Praskovya
Fedorovna remarked, spent that evening more
cheerfully than usual, but he never for a moment
forgot that he had postponed the important matter
of the appendix. At eleven o'clock he said
goodnight and went to his bedroom. Since his
illness he had slept alone in a small room next to
his study. He undressed and took up a novel by
Zola, but instead of reading it he fell into thought,
and in his imagination that desired improvement in
the vermiform appendix occurred. There was the
absorption and evacuation and the re-
establishment of normal activity. "Yes, that's it!" he
said to himself. "One need only assist nature, that's
all." He remembered his medicine, rose, took it,
and lay down on his back watching for the
beneficent action of the medicine and for it to
lessen the pain. "I need only take it regularly and
avoid all injurious influences. I am already feeling
better, much better." He began touching his side:
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it was not painful to the touch. "There, I really
don't feel it. It's much better already." He put out
the light and turned on his side ... "The appendix is
getting better, absorption is occurring." Suddenly
he felt the old, familiar, dull, gnawing pain,
stubborn and serious. There was the same familiar
loathsome taste in his mouth. His heart sand and
he felt dazed. "My God! My God!" he muttered.
"Again, again! And it will never cease." And
suddenly the matter presented itself in a quite
different aspect. "Vermiform appendix! Kidney!" he
said to himself. "It's not a question of appendix or
kidney, but of life and...death. Yes, life was there
and now it is going, going and I cannot stop it.
Yes. Why deceive myself? Isn't it obvious to
everyone but me that I'm dying, and that it's only a
question of weeks, days...it may happen this
moment. There was light and now there is
darkness. I was here and now I'm going there!
Where?" A chill came over him, his breathing
ceased, and he felt only the throbbing of his heart.
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"When I am not, what will there be? There
will be nothing. Then where shall I be when I am
no more? Can this be dying? No, I don't want to!"
He jumped up and tried to light the candle, felt for
it with trembling hands, dropped candle and
candlestick on the floor, and fell back on his pillow.
"What's the use? It makes no difference,"
he said to himself, staring with wide-open eyes into
the darkness. "Death. Yes, death. And none of
them knows or wishes to know it, and they have no
pity for me. Now they are playing." (He heard
through the door the distant sound of a song and
its accompaniment.) "It's all the same to them, but
they will die too! Fools! I first, and they later, but
it will be the same for them. And now they are
merry...the beasts!"
Anger choked him and he was agonizingly,
unbearably miserable. "It is impossible that all
men have been doomed to suffer this awful horror!"
He raised himself.
"Something must be wrong. I must calm
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myself -- must think it all over from the beginning."
And he again began thinking. "Yes, the beginning
of my illness: I knocked my side, but I was still
quite well that day and the next. It hurt a little,
then rather more. I saw the doctors, then followed
despondency and anguish, more doctors, and I
drew nearer to the abyss. My strength grew less
and I kept coming nearer and nearer, and now I
have wasted away and there is no light in my eyes.
I think of the appendix -- but this is death! I think
of mending the appendix, and all the while here is
death! Can it really be death?" Again terror seized
him and he gasped for breath. He leant down and
began feeling for the matches, pressing with his
elbow on the stand beside the bed. It was in his
way and hurt him, he grew furious with it, pressed
on it still harder, and upset it. Breathless and in
despair he fell on his back, expecting death to come
immediately.
Meanwhile the visitors were leaving.
Praskovya Fedorovna was seeing them off. She
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heard something fall and came in.
"What has happened?"
"Nothing. I knocked it over accidentally."
She went out and returned with a candle.
He lay there panting heavily, like a man who has
run a thousand yards, and stared upwards at her
with a fixed look.
"What is it, Jean?"
"No...o...thing. I upset it." ("Why speak of
it? She won't understand," he thought.)
And in truth she did not understand. She
picked up the stand, lit his candle, and hurried
away to see another visitor off. When she came
back he still lay on his back, looking upwards.
"What is it? Do you feel worse?"
"Yes."
She shook her head and sat down.
"Do you know, Jean, I think we must ask
Leshchetitsky to come and see you here."
This meant calling in the famous specialist,
regardless of expense. He smiled malignantly and
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said "No." She remained a little longer and then
went up to him and kissed his forehead.
While she was kissing him he hated her
from the bottom of his soul and with difficulty
refrained from pushing her away.
"Good night. Please God you'll sleep."
"Yes."
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VI
Ivan Ilych saw that he was dying, and he was in
continual despair.
In the depth of his heart he knew he was
dying, but not only was he not accustomed to the
thought, he simply did not and could not grasp it.
The syllogism he had learnt from
Kiesewetter's Logic: "Caius is a man, men are
mortal, therefore Caius is mortal," had always
seemed to him correct as applied to Caius, but
certainly not as applied to himself. That Caius --
man in the abstract -- was mortal, was perfectly
correct, but he was not Caius, not an abstract man,
but a creature quite, quite separate from all others.
He had been little Vanya, with a mamma and a
papa, with Mitya and Volodya, with the toys, a
coachman and a nurse, afterwards with Katenka
and will all the joys, griefs, and delights of
childhood, boyhood, and youth. What did Caius
know of the smell of that striped leather ball Vanya
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had been so fond of? Had Caius kissed his
mother's hand like that, and did the silk of her dress
rustle so for Caius? Had he rioted like that at
school when the pastry was bad? Had Caius been
in love like that? Could Caius preside at a session
as he did? "Caius really was mortal, and it was right
for him to die; but for me, little Vanya, Ivan Ilych,
with all my thoughts and emotions, it's altogether a
different matter. It cannot be that I ought to die.
That would be too terrible."
Such was his feeling.
"If I had to die like Caius I would have
known it was so. An inner voice would have told
me so, but there was nothing of the sort in me and
I and all my friends felt that our case was quite
different from that of Caius. and now here it is!" he
said to himself. "It can't be. It's impossible! But
here it is. How is this? How is one to understand
it?"
He could not understand it, and tried to
drive this false, incorrect, morbid thought away and
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to replace it by other proper and healthy thoughts.
But that thought, and not the thought only but the
reality itself, seemed to come and confront him.
And to replace that thought he called up a
succession of others, hoping to find in them some
support. He tried to get back into the former
current of thoughts that had once screened the
thought of death from him. But strange to say, all
that had formerly shut off, hidden, and destroyed
his consciousness of death, no longer had that
effect. Ivan Ilych now spent most of his time in
attempting to re-establish that old current. He
would say to himself: "I will take up my duties
again -- after all I used to live by them." And
banishing all doubts he would go to the law courts,
enter into conversation with his colleagues, and sit
carelessly as was his wont, scanning the crowd with
a thoughtful look and leaning both his emaciated
arms on the arms of his oak chair; bending over as
usual to a colleague and drawing his papers nearer
he would interchange whispers with him, and then
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suddenly raising his eyes and sitting erect would
pronounce certain words and open the proceedings.
But suddenly in the midst of those proceedings the
pain in his side, regardless of the stage the
proceedings had reached, would begin its own
gnawing work. Ivan Ilych would turn his attention
to it and try to drive the thought of it away, but
without success. *It* would come and stand before
him and look at him, and he would be petrified and
the light would die out of his eyes, and he would
again begin asking himself whether *It* alone was
true. And his colleagues and subordinates would
see with surprise and distress that he, the brilliant
and subtle judge, was becoming confused and
making mistakes. He would shake himself, try to
pull himself together, manage somehow to bring
the sitting to a close, and return home with the
sorrowful consciousness that his judicial labours
could not as formerly hide from him what he
wanted them to hide, and could not deliver him
from *It*. And what was worst of all was that *It*
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drew his attention to itself not in order to make him
take some action but only that he should look at
*It*, look it straight in the face: look at it and
without doing anything, suffer inexpressibly.
And to save himself from this condition Ivan
Ilych looked for consolations -- new screens -- and
new screens were found and for a while seemed to
save him, but then they immediately fell to pieces
or rather became transparent, as if *It* penetrated
them and nothing could veil *It*.
In these latter days he would go into the
drawing-room he had arranged -- that drawing-
room where he had fallen and for the sake of which
(how bitterly ridiculous it seemed) he had sacrificed
his life -- for he knew that his illness originated with
that knock. He would enter and see that something
had scratched the polished table. He would look for
the cause of this and find that it was the bronze
ornamentation of an album, that had got bent. He
would take up the expensive album which he had
lovingly arranged, and feel vexed with his daughter
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and her friends for their untidiness - - for the album
was torn here and there and some of the
photographs turned upside down. He would put it
carefully in order and bend the ornamentation back
into position. Then it would occur to him to place
all those things in another corner of the room, near
the plants. He would call the footman, but his
daughter or wife would come to help him. They
would not agree, and his wife would contradict him,
and he would dispute and grow angry. But that was
all right, for then he did not think about *It*. *It*
was invisible.
But then, when he was moving something
himself, his wife would say: "Let the servants do it.
You will hurt yourself again." And suddenly *It*
would flash through the screen and he would see it.
It was just a flash, and he hoped it would disappear,
but he would involuntarily pay attention to his side.
"It sits there as before, gnawing just the same!"
And he could no longer forget *It*, but could
distinctly see it looking at him from behind the
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flowers. "What is it all for?"
"It really is so! I lost my life over that
curtain as I might have done when storming a fort.
Is that possible? How terrible and how stupid. It
can't be true! It can't, but it is."
He would go to his study, lie down, and
again be alone with *It*: face to face with *It*.
And nothing could be done with *It* except to look
at it and shudder.
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VII
How it happened it is impossible to say because
it came about step by step, unnoticed, but in the
third month of Ivan Ilych's illness, his wife, his
daughter, his son, his acquaintances, the doctors,
the servants, and above all he himself, were aware
that the whole interest he had for other people was
whether he would soon vacate his place, and at last
release the living from the discomfort caused by his
presence and be himself released from his
sufferings.
He slept less and less. He was given opium
and hypodermic injections of morphine, but this did
not relieve him. The dull depression he
experienced in a somnolent condition at first gave
him a little relief, but only as something new,
afterwards it became as distressing as the pain
itself or even more so.
Special foods were prepared for him by the
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doctors' orders, but all those foods became
increasingly distasteful and disgusting to him.
For his excretions also special arrangements
had to be made, and this was a torment to him
every time -- a torment from the uncleanliness, the
unseemliness, and the smell, and from knowing
that another person had to take part in it.
But just through his most unpleasant
matter, Ivan Ilych obtained comfort. Gerasim, the
butler's young assistant, always came in to carry
the things out. Gerasim was a clean, fresh peasant
lad, grown stout on town food and always cheerful
and bright. At first the sight of him, in his clean
Russian peasant costume, engaged on that
disgusting task embarrassed Ivan Ilych.
Once when he got up from the commode to
weak to draw up his trousers, he dropped into a
soft armchair and looked with horror at his bare,
enfeebled thighs with the muscles so sharply
marked on them.
Gerasim with a firm light tread, his heavy
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boots emitting a pleasant smell of tar and fresh
winter air, came in wearing a clean Hessian apron,
the sleeves of his print shirt tucked up over his
strong bare young arms; and refraining from looking
at his sick master out of consideration for his
feelings, and restraining the joy of life that beamed
from his face, he went up to the commode.
"Gerasim!" said Ivan Ilych in a weak voice.
"Gerasim started, evidently afraid he might
have committed some blunder, and with a rapid
movement turned his fresh, kind, simple young
face which just showed the first downy signs of a
beard.
"Yes, sir?"
"That must be very unpleasant for you. You
must forgive me. I am helpless."
"Oh, why, sir," and Gerasim's eyes beamed
and he showed his glistening white teeth, "what's a
little trouble? It's a case of illness with you, sir."
And his deft strong hands did their
accustomed task, and he went out of the room
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stepping lightly. five minutes later he as lightly
returned.
Ivan Ilych was still sitting in the same
position in the armchair.
"Gerasim," he said when the latter had
replaced the freshly- washed utensil. "Please come
here and help me." Gerasim went up to him. "Lift
me up. It is hard for me to get up, and I have sent
Dmitri away."
Gerasim went up to him, grasped his master
with his strong arms deftly but gently, in the same
way that he stepped -- lifted him, supported him
with one hand, and with the other drew up his
trousers and would have set him down again, but
Ivan Ilych asked to be led to the sofa. Gerasim,
without an effort and without apparent pressure,
led him, almost lifting him, to the sofa and placed
him on it.
"That you. How easily and well you do it
all!"
Gerasim smiled again and turned to leave
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the room. But Ivan Ilych felt his presence such a
comfort that he did not want to let him go.
"One thing more, please move up that chair.
No, the other one -- under my feet. It is easier for
me when my feet are raised."
Gerasim brought the chair, set it down
gently in place, and raised Ivan Ilych's legs on it.
It seemed to Ivan Ilych that he felt better while
Gerasim was holding up his legs.
"It's better when my legs are higher," he
said. "Place that cushion under them."
Gerasim did so. He again lifted the legs and
placed them, and again Ivan Ilych felt better while
Gerasim held his legs. When he set them down
Ivan Ilych fancied he felt worse.
"Gerasim," he said. "Are you busy now?"
"Not at all, sir," said Gerasim, who had
learnt from the townsfolk how to speak to
gentlefolk.
"What have you still to do?"
"What have I to do? I've done everything
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except chopping the logs for tomorrow."
"Then hold my legs up a bit higher, can
you?"
"Of course I can. Why not?" and Gerasim
raised his master's legs higher and Ivan Ilych
thought that in that position he did not feel any
pain at all.
"And how about the logs?"
"Don't trouble about that, sir. There's
plenty of time."
Ivan Ilych told Gerasim to sit down and hold
his legs, and began to talk to him. And strange to
say it seemed to him that he felt better while
Gerasim held his legs up.
After that Ivan Ilych would sometimes call
Gerasim and get him to hold his legs on his
shoulders, and he liked talking to him. Gerasim did
it all easily, willingly, simply, and with a good
nature that touched Ivan Ilych. Health, strength,
and vitality in other people were offensive to him,
but Gerasim's strength and vitality did not mortify
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but soothed him.
What tormented Ivan Ilych most was the
deception, the lie, which for some reason they all
accepted, that he was not dying but was simply ill,
and the only need keep quiet and undergo a
treatment and then something very good would
result. He however knew that do what they would
nothing would come of it, only still more agonizing
suffering and death. This deception tortured him --
their not wishing to admit what they all knew and
what he knew, but wanting to lie to him concerning
his terrible condition, and wishing and forcing him
to participate in that lie. Those lies -- lies enacted
over him on the eve of his death and destined to
degrade this awful, solemn act to the level of their
visitings, their curtains, their sturgeon for dinner --
were a terrible agony for Ivan Ilych. And strangely
enough, many times when they were going through
their antics over him he had been within a
hairbreadth of calling out to them: "Stop lying! You
know and I know that I am dying. Then at least
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stop lying about it!" But he had never had the
spirit to do it. The awful, terrible act of his dying
was, he could see, reduced by those about him to
the level of a casual, unpleasant, and almost
indecorous incident (as if someone entered a
drawing room defusing an unpleasant odour) and
this was done by that very decorum which he had
served all his life long. He saw that no one felt for
him, because no one even wished to grasp his
position. Only Gerasim recognized it and pitied him.
And so Ivan Ilych felt at ease only with him. He felt
comforted when Gerasim supported his legs
(sometimes all night long) and refused to go to
bed, saying: "Don't you worry, Ivan Ilych. I'll get
sleep enough later on," or when he suddenly
became familiar and exclaimed: "If you weren't
sick it would be another matter, but as it is, why
should I grudge a little trouble?" Gerasim alone did
not lie; everything showed that he alone understood
the facts of the case and did not consider it
necessary to disguise them, but simply felt sorry for
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his emaciated and enfeebled master. Once when
Ivan Ilych was sending him away he even said
straight out: "We shall all of us die, so why should
I grudge a little trouble?" -- expressing the fact that
he did not think his work burdensome, because he
was doing it for a dying man and hoped someone
would do the same for him when his time came.
Apart from this lying, or because of it, what
most tormented Ivan Ilych was that no one pitied
him as he wished to be pitied. At certain moments
after prolonged suffering he wished most of all
(though he would have been ashamed to confess it)
for someone to pity him as a sick child is pitied. He
longed to be petted and comforted. he knew he
was an important functionary, that he had a beard
turning grey, and that therefore what he long for
was impossible, but still he longed for it. and in
Gerasim's attitude towards him there was
something akin to what he wished for, and so that
attitude comforted him. Ivan Ilych wanted to weep,
wanted to be petted and cried over, and then his
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colleague Shebek would come, and instead of
weeping and being petted, Ivan Ilych would assume
a serious, severe, and profound air, and by force of
habit would express his opinion on a decision of the
Court of Cassation and would stubbornly insist on
that view. This falsity around him and within him
did more than anything else to poison his last days.
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VIII
It was morning. He knew it was morning
because Gerasim had gone, and Peter the footman
had come and put out the candles, drawn back one
of the curtains, and begun quietly to tidy up.
Whether it was morning or evening, Friday or
Sunday, made no difference, it was all just the
same: the gnawing, unmitigated, agonizing pain,
never ceasing for an instant, the consciousness of
life inexorably waning but not yet extinguished, the
approach of that ever dreaded and hateful Death
which was the only reality, and always the same
falsity. What were days, weeks, hours, in such a
case?
"Will you have some tea, sir?"
"He wants things to be regular, and wishes
the gentlefolk to drink tea in the morning," thought
ivan Ilych, and only said "No."
"Wouldn't you like to move onto the sofa,
sir?"
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"He wants to tidy up the room, and I'm in
the way. I am uncleanliness and disorder," he
thought, and said only:
"No, leave me alone."
The man went on bustling about. Ivan Ilych
stretched out his hand. Peter came up, ready to
help.
"What is it, sir?"
"My watch."
Peter took the watch which was close at
hand and gave it to his master.
"Half-past eight. Are they up?"
"No sir, except Vladimir Ivanovich" (the son)
"who has gone to school. Praskovya Fedorovna
ordered me to wake her if you asked for her. Shall
I do so?"
"No, there's no need to." "Perhaps I's better
have some tea," he thought, and added aloud:
"Yes, bring me some tea."
Peter went to the door, but Ivan Ilych
dreaded being left alone. "How can I keep him
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here? Oh yes, my medicine." "Peter, give me my
medicine." "Why not? Perhaps it may still do some
good." He took a spoonful and swallowed it. "No, it
won't help. It's all tomfoolery, all deception," he
decided as soon as he became aware of the
familiar, sickly, hopeless taste. "No, I can't believe
in it any longer. But the pain, why this pain? If it
would only cease just for a moment!" And he
moaned. Peter turned towards him. "It's all right.
Go and fetch me some tea."
Peter went out. Left alone Ivan Ilych
groaned not so much with pain, terrible thought
that was, as from mental anguish. Always and for
ever the same, always these endless days and
nights. If only it would come quicker! If only
*what* would come quicker? Death,
darkness?...No, no! anything rather than death!
When Peter returned with the tea on a tray,
Ivan Ilych stared at him for a time in perplexity,
not realizing who and what he was. Peter was
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disconcerted by that look and his embarrassment
brought Ivan Ilych to himself.
"Oh, tea! All right, put it down. Only help
me to wash and put on a clean shirt."
And Ivan Ilych began to wash. With pauses
for rest, he washed his hands and then his face,
cleaned his teeth, brushed his hair, looked in the
glass. He was terrified by what he saw, especially
by the limp way in which his hair clung to his pallid
forehead.
While his shirt was being changed he knew
that he would be still more frightened at the sight
of his body, so he avoided looking at it. Finally he
was ready. He drew on a dressing-gown, wrapped
himself in a plaid, and sat down in the armchair to
take his tea. For a moment he felt refreshed, but
as soon as he began to drink the tea he was again
aware of the same taste, and the pain also
returned. He finished it with an effort, and then lay
down stretching out his legs, and dismissed Peter.
Always the same. Now a spark of hope
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flashes up, then a sea of despair rages, and always
pain; always pain, always despair, and always the
same. When alone he had a dreadful and
distressing desire to call someone, but he knew
beforehand that with others present it would be still
worse. "Another dose of morphine--to lose
consciousness. I will tell him, the doctor, that he
must think of something else. It's impossible,
impossible, to go on like this."
An hour and another pass like that. But
now there is a ring at the door bell. Perhaps it's
the doctor? It is. He comes in fresh, hearty,
plump, and cheerful, with that look on his face that
seems to say: "There now, you're in a panic about
something, but we'll arrange it all for you directly!"
The doctor knows this expression is out of place
here, but he has put it on once for all and can't
take it off -- like a man who has put on a frock-coat
in the morning to pay a round of calls.
The doctor rubs his hands vigorously and
reassuringly.
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"Brr! How cold it is! There's such a sharp
frost; just let me warm myself!" he says, as if it
were only a matter of waiting till he was warm, and
then he would put everything right.
"Well now, how are you?"
Ivan Ilych feels that the doctor would like to
say: "Well, how are our affairs?" but that even he
feels that this would not do, and says instead:
"What sort of a night have you had?"
Ivan Ilych looks at him as much as to say:
"Are you really never ashamed of lying?" But the
doctor does not wish to understand this question,
and Ivan Ilych says: "Just as terrible as ever. The
pain never leaves me and never subsides. If only
something ... "
"Yes, you sick people are always like that....
There, now I think I am warm enough. Even
Praskovya Fedorovna, who is so particular, could
find no fault with my temperature. Well, now I can
say good-morning," and the doctor presses his
patient's hand.
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Then dropping his former playfulness, he
begins with a most serious face to examine the
patient, feeling his pulse and taking his
temperature, and then begins the sounding and
auscultation.
Ivan Ilych knows quite well and definitely
that all this is nonsense and pure deception, but
when the doctor, getting down on his knee, leans
over him, putting his ear first higher then lower,
and performs various gymnastic movements over
him with a significant expression on his face, Ivan
Ilych submits to it all as he used to submit to the
speeches of the lawyers, though he knew very well
that they were all lying and why they were lying.
The doctor, kneeling on the sofa, is still
sounding him when Praskovya Fedorovna's silk
dress rustles at the door and she is heard scolding
Peter for not having let her know of the doctor's
arrival.
She comes in, kisses her husband, and at
once proceeds to prove that she has been up a long
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time already, and only owing to a misunderstanding
failed to be there when the doctor arrived.
Ivan Ilych looks at her, scans her all over,
sets against her the whiteness and plumpness and
cleanness of her hands and neck, the gloss of her
hair, and the sparkle of her vivacious eyes. He
hates her with his whole soul. And the thrill of
hatred he feels for her makes him suffer from her
touch.
Her attitude towards him and his diseases is
still the same. Just as the doctor had adopted a
certain relation to his patient which he could not
abandon, so had she formed one towards him --
that he was not doing something he ought to do and
was himself to blame, and that she reproached him
lovingly for this -- and she could not now change
that attitude.
"You see he doesn't listen to me and doesn't
take his medicine at the proper time. And above all
he lies in a position that is no doubt bad for him --
with his legs up."
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She described how he made Gerasim hold
his legs up.
The doctor smiled with a contemptuous
affability that said: "What's to be done? These sick
people do have foolish fancies of that kind, but we
must forgive them."
When the examination was over the doctor
looked at his watch, and then Praskovya Fedorovna
announced to Ivan Ilych that it was of course as he
pleased, but she had sent today for a celebrated
specialist who would examine him and have a
consultation with Michael Danilovich (their regular
doctor).
"Please don't raise any objections. I am
doing this for my own sake," she said ironically,
letting it be felt that she was doing it all for his sake
and only said this to leave him no right to refuse.
He remained silent, knitting his brows. He felt that
he was surrounded and involved in a mesh of falsity
that it was hard to unravel anything.
Everything she did for him was entirely for
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her own sake, and she told him she was doing for
herself what she actually was doing for herself, as if
that was so incredible that he must understand the
opposite.
At half-past eleven the celebrated specialist
arrived. Again the sounding began and the
significant conversations in his presence and in
another room, about the kidneys and the appendix,
and the questions and answers, with such an air of
importance that again, instead of the real question
of life and death which now alone confronted him,
the question arose of the kidney and appendix
which were not behaving as they ought to and
would now be attached by Michael Danilovich and
the specialist and forced to amend their ways.
The celebrated specialist took leave of him
with a serious though not hopeless look, and in
reply to the timid question Ivan Ilych, with eyes
glistening with fear and hope, put to him as to
whether there was a chance of recovery, said that
he could not vouch for it but there was a possibility.
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The look of hope with which Ivan Ilych watched the
doctor out was so pathetic that Praskovya
Fedorovna, seeing it, even wept as she left the room
to hand the doctor his fee.
The gleam of hope kindled by the doctor's
encouragement did not last long. The same room,
the same pictures, curtains, wall- paper, medicine
bottles, were all there, and the same aching
suffering body, and Ivan Ilych began to moan. They
gave him a subcutaneous injection and he sank into
oblivion.
It was twilight when he came to. They
brought him his dinner and he swallowed some beef
tea with difficulty, and then everything was the
same again and night was coming on.
After dinner, at seven o'clock, Praskovya
Fedorovna came into the room in evening dress,
her full bosom pushed up by her corset, and with
traces of powder on her face. She had reminded
him in the morning that they were going to the
theatre. Sarah Bernhardt was visiting the town and
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they had a box, which he had insisted on their
taking. Now he had forgotten about it and her toilet
offended him, but he concealed his vexation when
he remembered that he had himself insisted on
their securing a box and going because it would be
an instructive and aesthetic pleasure for the
children.
Praskovya Fedorovna came in, self-satisfied
but yet with a rather guilty air. She sat down and
asked how he was, but, as he saw, only for the
sake of asking and not in order to learn about it,
knowing that there was nothing to learn -- and then
went on to what she really wanted to say: that she
would not on any account have gone but that the
box had been taken and Helen and their daughter
were going, as well as Petrishchev (the examining
magistrate, their daughter's fiance) and that it was
out of the question to let them go alone; but that
she would have much preferred to sit with him for a
while; and he must be sure to follow the doctor's
orders while she was away.
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"Oh, and Fedor Petrovich" (the fiance)
"would like to come in. May he? And Lisa?"
"All right."
Their daughter came in in full evening dress,
her fresh young flesh exposed (making a show of
that very flesh which in his own case caused so
much suffering), strong, healthy, evidently in love,
and impatient with illness, suffering, and death,
because they interfered with her happiness.
Fedor petrovich came in too, in evening
dress, his hair curled *a la Capoul*, a tight stiff
collar round his long sinewy neck, an enormous
white shirt-front and narrow black trousers tightly
stretched over his strong thighs. He had one white
glove tightly drawn on, and was holding his opera
hat in his hand.
Following him the schoolboy crept in
unnoticed, in a new uniform, poor little fellow, and
wearing gloves. Terribly dark shadows showed
under his eyes, the meaning of which Ivan Ilych
knew well.
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His son had always seemed pathetic to him,
and now it was dreadful to see the boy's frightened
look of pity. It seemed to Ivan Ilych that Vasya
was the only one besides Gerasim who understood
and pitied him.
They all sat down and again asked how he
was. A silence followed. Lisa asked her mother
about the opera glasses, and there was an
altercation between mother and daughter as to who
had taken them and where they had been put. This
occasioned some unpleasantness.
Fedor Petrovich inquired of Ivan Ilych
whether he had ever seen Sarah Bernhardt. Ivan
Ilych did not at first catch the question, but then
replied: "No, have you seen her before?"
"Yes, in *Adrienne Lecouvreur*."
Praskovya Fedorovna mentioned some roles
in which Sarah Bernhardt was particularly good.
Her daughter disagreed. Conversation sprang up
as to the elegance and realism of her acting -- the
sort of conversation that is always repeated and is
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always the same.
In the midst of the conversation Fedor
Petrovich glanced at Ivan Ilych and became silent.
The others also looked at him and grew silent. Ivan
Ilych was staring with glittering eyes straight before
him, evidently indignant with them. This had to be
rectified, but it was impossible to do so. The silence
had to be broken, but for a time no one dared to
break it and they all became afraid that the
conventional deception would suddenly become
obvious and the truth become plain to all. Lisa was
the first to pluck up courage and break that silence,
but by trying to hide what everybody was feeling,
she betrayed it.
"Well, if we are going it's time to start," she
said, looking at her watch, a present from her
father, and with a faint and significant smile at
Fedor Petrovich relating to something known only
to them. She got up with a rustle of her dress.
They all rose, said good-night, and went
away.
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When they had gone it seemed to Ivan Ilych
that he felt better; the falsity had gone with them.
But the pain remained -- that same pain and that
same fear that made everything monotonously
alike, nothing harder and nothing easier.
Everything was worse.
Again minute followed minute and hour
followed hour. Everything remained the same and
there was no cessation. And the inevitable end of it
all became more and more terrible.
"Yes, send Gerasim here," he replied to a
question Peter asked.
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IX
His wife returned late at night. She came in on
tiptoe, but he heard her, opened his eyes, and
made haste to close them again. She wished to
send Gerasim away and to sit with him herself, but
he opened his eyes and said: "No, go away."
"Are you in great pain?"
"Always the same."
"Take some opium."
He agreed and took some. She went away.
Till about three in the morning he was in a
state of stupefied misery. It seemed to him that he
and his pain were being thrust into a narrow, deep
black sack, but though they were pushed further
and further in they could not be pushed to the
bottom. And this, terrible enough in itself, was
accompanied by suffering. He was frightened yet
wanted to fall through the sack, he struggled but
yet co-operated. And suddenly he broke through,
fell, and regained consciousness. Gerasim was
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sitting at the foot of the bed dozing quietly and
patiently, while he himself lay with his emaciated
stockinged legs resting on Gerasim's shoulders; the
same shaded candle was there and the same
unceasing pain.
"Go away, Gerasim," he whispered.
"It's all right, sir. I'll stay a while."
"No. Go away."
He removed his legs from Gerasim's
shoulders, turned sideways onto his arm, and felt
sorry for himself. He only waited till Gerasim had
gone into the next room and then restrained himself
no longer but wept like a child. He wept on account
of his helplessness, his terrible loneliness, the
cruelty of man, the cruelty of God, and the absence
of God.
"Why hast Thou done all this? Why hast
Thou brought me here? Why, why dost Thou
torment me so terribly?"
He did not expect an answer and yet wept
because there was no answer and could be none.
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The pain again grew more acute, but he did not stir
and did not call. He said to himself: "Go on!
Strike me! But what is it for? What have I done to
Thee? What is it for?"
Then he grew quiet and not only ceased
weeping but even held his breath and became all
attention. It was as though he were listening not to
an audible voice but to the voice of his soul, to the
current of thoughts arising within him.
"What is it you want?" was the first clear
conception capable of expression in words, that he
heard.
"What do you want? What do you want?" he
repeated to himself.
"What do I want? To live and not to suffer,"
he answered.
And again he listened with such
concentrated attention that even his pain did not
distract him.
"To live? How?" asked his inner voice.
"Why, to live as I used to -- well and
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pleasantly."
"As you lived before, well and pleasantly?"
the voice repeated.
And in imagination he began to recall the
best moments of his pleasant life. But strange to
say none of those best moments of his pleasant life
now seemed at all what they had then seemed --
none of them except the first recollections of
childhood. There, in childhood, there had been
something really pleasant with which it would be
possible to live if it could return. But the child who
had experienced that happiness existed no longer, it
was like a reminiscence of somebody else.
as soon as the period began which had
produced the present Ivan Ilych, all that had then
seemed joys now melted before his sight and
turned into something trivial and often nasty.
And the further he departed from childhood
and the nearer he came to the present the more
worthless and doubtful were the joys. This began
with the School of Law. A little that was really good
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was still found there -- there was light-heartedness,
friendship, and hope. But in the upper classes
there had already been fewer of such good
moments. Then during the first years of his official
career, when he was in the service of the governor,
some pleasant moments again occurred: they were
the memories of love for a woman. Then all
became confused and there was still less of what
was good; later on again there was still less that
was good, and the further he went the less there
was. His marriage, a mere accident, then the
disenchantment that followed it, his wife's bad
breath and the sensuality and hypocrisy: then that
deadly official life and those preoccupations about
money, a year of it, and two, and ten, and twenty,
and always the same thing. And the longer it
lasted the more deadly it became. "It is as if I had
been going downhill while I imagined I was going
up. And that is really what it was. I was going up
in public opinion, but to the same extent life was
ebbing away from me. And now it is all done and
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there is only death.
"Then what does it mean? Why? It can't be
that life is so senseless and horrible. But if it really
has been so horrible and senseless, why must I die
and die in agony? There is something wrong!
"Maybe I did not live as I ought to have
done," it suddenly occurred to him. "But how could
that be, when I did everything properly?" he
replied, and immediately dismissed from his mind
this, the sole solution of all the riddles of life and
death, as something quite impossible.
"Then what do you want now? To live? Live
how? Live as you lived in the law courts when the
usher proclaimed 'The judge is coming!' The judge
is coming, the judge!" he repeated to himself.
"Here he is, the judge. But I am not guilty!" he
exclaimed angrily. "What is it for?" And he ceased
crying, but turning his face to the wall continued to
ponder on the same question: Why, and for what
purpose, is there all this horror? But however much
he pondered he found no answer. And whenever
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the thought occurred to him, as it often did, that it
all resulted from his not having lived as he ought to
have done, he at once recalled the correctness of
his whole life and dismissed so strange an idea.
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X
Another fortnight passed. Ivan Ilych now no
longer left his sofa. He would not lie in bed but lay
on the sofa, facing the wall nearly all the time. He
suffered ever the same unceasing agonies and in
his loneliness pondered always on the same
insoluble question: "What is this? Can it be that it
is Death?" And the inner voice answered: "Yes, it
is Death."
"Why these sufferings?" And the voice
answered, "For no reason -- they just are so."
Beyond and besides this there was nothing.
From the very beginning of his illness, ever
since he had first been to see the doctor, Ivan
Ilych's life had been divided between two contrary
and alternating moods: now it was despair and the
expectation of this uncomprehended and terrible
death, and now hope and an intently interested
observation of the functioning of his organs. Now
before his eyes there was only a kidney or an
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intestine that temporarily evaded its duty, and now
only that incomprehensible and dreadful death from
which it was impossible to escape.
These two states of mind had alternated
from the very beginning of his illness, but the
further it progressed the more doubtful and
fantastic became the conception of the kidney, and
the more real the sense of impending death.
He had but to call to mind what he had been
three months before and what he was now, to call
to mind with what regularity he had been going
downhill, for every possibility of hope to be
shattered.
Latterly during the loneliness in which he
found himself as he lay facing the back of the sofa,
a loneliness in the midst of a populous town and
surrounded by numerous acquaintances and
relations but that yet could not have been more
complete anywhere - - either at the bottom of the
sea or under the earth -- during that terrible
loneliness Ivan ilych had lived only in memories of
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the past. Pictures of his past rose before him one
after another. they always began with what was
nearest in time and then went back to what was
most remote -- to his childhood -- and rested there.
If he thought of the stewed prunes that had been
offered him that day, his mind went back to the raw
shrivelled French plums of his childhood, their
peculiar flavour and the flow of saliva when he
sucked their stones, and along with the memory of
that taste came a whole series of memories of
those days: his nurse, his brother, and their toys.
"No, I mustn't thing of that....It is too painful," Ivan
Ilych said to himself, and brought himself back to
the present -- to the button on the back of the sofa
and the creases in its morocco. "Morocco is
expensive, but it does not wear well: there had
been a quarrel about it. It was a different kind of
quarrel and a different kind of morocco that time
when we tore father's portfolio and were punished,
and mamma brought us some tarts...." And again
his thoughts dwelt on his childhood, and again it
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was painful and he tried to banish them and fix his
mind on something else.
Then again together with that chain of
memories another series passed through his mind -
- of how his illness had progressed and grown
worse. There also the further back he looked the
more life there had been. There had been more of
what was good in life and more of life itself. The
two merged together. "Just as the pain went on
getting worse and worse, so my life grew worse and
worse," he thought. "There is one bright spot there
at the back, at the beginning of life, and afterwards
all becomes blacker and blacker and proceeds more
and more rapidly -- in inverse ration to the square
of the distance from death," thought Ivan Ilych.
And the example of a stone falling downwards with
increasing velocity entered his mind. Life, a series
of increasing sufferings, flies further and further
towards its end -- the most terrible suffering. "I
am flying...." He shuddered, shifted himself, and
tried to resist, but was already aware that
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resistance was impossible, and again with eyes
weary of gazing but unable to cease seeing what
was before them, he stared at the back of the sofa
and waited -- awaiting that dreadful fall and shock
and destruction.
"Resistance is impossible!" he said to
himself. "If I could only understand what it is all
for! But that too is impossible. An explanation
would be possible if it could be said that I have not
lived as I ought to. But it is impossible to say that,"
and he remembered all the legality, correctitude,
and propriety of his life. "That at any rate can
certainly not be admitted," he thought, and his lips
smiled ironically as if someone could see that smile
and be taken in by it. "There is no explanation!
Agony, death....What for?"
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XI
Another two weeks went by in this way and
during that fortnight an even occurred that Ivan
Ilych and his wife had desired. Petrishchev
formally proposed. It happened in the evening.
The next day Praskovya Fedorovna came into her
husband's room considering how best to inform him
of it, but that very night there had been a fresh
change for the worse in his condition. She found
him still lying on the sofa but in a different position.
He lay on his back, groaning and staring fixedly
straight in front of him.
She began to remind him of his medicines,
but he turned his eyes towards her with such a look
that she did not finish what she was saying; so
great an animosity, to her in particular, did that
look express.
"For Christ's sake let me die in peace!" he
said.
She would have gone away, but just then
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their daughter came in and went up to say good
morning. He looked at her as he had done at his
wife, and in reply to her inquiry about his health
said dryly that he would soon free them all of
himself. They were both silent and after sitting
with him for a while went away.
"Is it our fault?" Lisa said to her mother.
"It's as if we were to blame! I am sorry for papa,
but why should we be tortured?"
The doctor came at his usual time. Ivan
Ilych answered "Yes" and "No," never taking his
angry eyes from him, and at last said: "You know
you can do nothing for me, so leave me alone."
"We can ease your sufferings."
"You can't even do that. Let me be."
The doctor went into the drawing room and
told Praskovya Fedorovna that the case was very
serious and that the only resource left was opium
to allay her husband's sufferings, which must be
terrible.
It was true, as the doctor said, that Ivan
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Ilych's physical sufferings were terrible, but worse
than the physical sufferings were his mental
sufferings which were his chief torture.
His mental sufferings were due to the fact
that that night, as he looked at Gerasim's sleepy,
good-natured face with it prominent cheek-bones,
the question suddenly occurred to him: "What if my
whole life has been wrong?"
It occurred to him that what had appeared
perfectly impossible before, namely that he had not
spent his life as he should have done, might after
all be true. It occurred to him that his scarcely
perceptible attempts to struggle against what was
considered good by the most highly placed people,
those scarcely noticeable impulses which he had
immediately suppressed, might have been the real
thing, and all the rest false. And his professional
duties and the whole arrangement of his life and of
his family, and all his social and official interests,
might all have been false. He tried to defend all
those things to himself and suddenly felt the
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weakness of what he was defending. There was
nothing to defend.
"But if that is so," he said to himself, "and i
am leaving this life with the consciousness that I
have lost all that was given me and it is impossible
to rectify it -- what then?"
He lay on his back and began to pass his life
in review in quite a new way. In the morning when
he saw first his footman, then his wife, then his
daughter, and then the doctor, their every word
and movement confirmed to him the awful truth
that had been revealed to him during the night. In
them he saw himself -- all that for which he had
lived -- and saw clearly that it was not real at all,
but a terrible and huge deception which had hidden
both life and death. This consciousness intensified
his physical suffering tenfold. He groaned and
tossed about, and pulled at his clothing which
choked and stifled him. And he hated them on that
account.
He was given a large dose of opium and
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became unconscious, but at noon his sufferings
began again. He drove everybody away and tossed
from side to side.
His wife came to him and said:
"Jean, my dear, do this for me. It can't do
any harm and often helps. Healthy people often do
it."
He opened his eyes wide.
"What? Take communion? Why? It's
unnecessary! However..."
She began to cry.
"Yes, do, my dear. I'll send for our priest.
He is such a nice man."
"All right. Very well," he muttered.
When the priest came and heard his
confession, Ivan Ilych was softened and seemed to
feel a relief from his doubts and consequently from
his sufferings, and for a moment there came a ray
of hope. He again began to think of the vermiform
appendix and the possibility of correcting it. He
received the sacrament with tears in his eyes.
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When they laid him down again afterwards
he felt a moment's ease, and the hope that he
might live awoke in him again. He began to think
of the operation that had been suggested to him.
"To live! I want to live!" he said to himself.
His wife came in to congratulate him after
his communion, and when uttering the usual
conventional words she added:
"You feel better, don't you?"
Without looking at her he said "Yes."
Her dress, her figure, the expression of her
face, the tone of her voice, all revealed the same
thing. "This is wrong, it is not as it should be. All
you have lived for and still live for is falsehood and
deception, hiding life and death from you." And as
soon as he admitted that thought, his hatred and his
agonizing physical suffering again sprang up, and
with that suffering a consciousness of the
unavoidable, approaching end. And to this was
added a new sensation of grinding shooting pain and
a feeling of suffocation.
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The expression of his face when he uttered
that "Yes" was dreadful. Having uttered it, he
looked her straight in the eyes, turned on his face
with a rapidity extraordinary in his weak state and
shouted:
"Go away! Go away and leave me alone!"
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XII
From that moment the screaming began that
continued for three days, and was so terrible that
one could not hear it through two closed doors
without horror. At the moment he answered his
wife realized that he was lost, that there was no
return, that the end had come, the very end, and
his doubts were still unsolved and remained doubts.
"Oh! Oh! Oh!" he cried in various
intonations. he had begun by screaming "I won't!"
and continued screaming on the letter "O".
For three whole days, during which time did
not exist for him, he struggled in that black sack
into which he was being thrust by an invisible,
resistless force. He struggled as a man condemned
to death struggles in the hands of the executioner,
knowing that he cannot save himself. And every
moment he felt that despite all his efforts he was
drawing nearer and nearer to what terrified him. he
felt that his agony was due to his being thrust into
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that black hole and still more to his not being able
to get right into it. He was hindered from getting
into it by his conviction that his life had been a
good one. That very justification of his life held him
fast and prevented his moving forward, and it
caused him most torment of all.
Suddenly some force struck him in the chest
and side, making it still harder to breathe, and he
fell through the hole and there at the bottom was a
light. What had happened to him was like the
sensation one sometimes experiences in a railway
carriage when one thinks one is going backwards
while one is really going forwards and suddenly
becomes aware of the real direction.
"Yes, it was not the right thing," he said to
himself, "but that's no matter. It can be done. But
what *is* the right thing? he asked himself, and
suddenly grew quiet.
This occurred at the end of the third day,
two hours before his death. Just then his schoolboy
son had crept softly in and gone up to the bedside.
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The dying man was still screaming desperately and
waving his arms. His hand fell on the boy's head,
and the boy caught it, pressed it to his lips, and
began to cry.
At that very moment Ivan Ilych fell through
and caught sight of the light, and it was revealed to
him that though his life had not been what it should
have been, this could still be rectified. He asked
himself, "What *is* the right thing?" and grew still,
listening. Then he felt that someone was kissing his
hand. He opened his eyes, looked at his son, and
felt sorry for him. His wife camp up to him and he
glanced at her. She was gazing at him open-
mouthed, with undried tears on her nose and cheek
and a despairing look on her face. He felt sorry for
her too.
"Yes, I am making them wretched," he
thought. "They are sorry, but it will be better for
them when I die." He wished to say this but had
not the strength to utter it. "Besides, why speak?
I must act," he thought. with a look at his wife he
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indicated his son and said: "Take him away...sorry
for him...sorry for you too...." He tried to add,
"Forgive me," but said "Forego" and waved his
hand, knowing that He whose understanding
mattered would understand.
And suddenly it grew clear to him that what
had been oppressing him and would not leave his
was all dropping away at once from two sides, from
ten sides, and from all sides. He was sorry for
them, he must act so as not to hurt them: release
them and free himself from these sufferings. "How
good and how simple!" he thought. "And the pain?"
he asked himself. "What has become of it? Where
are you, pain?"
He turned his attention to it.
"Yes, here it is. Well, what of it? Let the
pain be."
"And death...where is it?"
He sought his former accustomed fear of
death and did not find it. "Where is it? What
death?" There was no fear because there was no
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death.
In place of death there was light.
"So that's what it is!" he suddenly exclaimed
aloud. "What joy!"
To him all this happened in a single instant,
and the meaning of that instant did not change.
For those present his agony continued for another
two hours. Something rattled in his throat, his
emaciated body twitched, then the gasping and
rattle became less and less frequent.
"It is finished!" said someone near him.
He heard these words and repeated them in
his soul.
"Death is finished," he said to himself. "It is
no more!"
He drew in a breath, stopped in the midst of
a sigh, stretched out, and died.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy

CONTENTS

I................................................................ 3 II ............................................................ 23 III........................................................... 41 IV ........................................................... 59 VI ........................................................... 85 VII .......................................................... 92 VIII ...................................................... 102 V ............................................................. 75

1D

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IX ......................................................... 118 X ........................................................... 126 XI ......................................................... 131 XII ........................................................ 138

LJ LWD

O/ LE UD

U\
2

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy

I the large building of the Law Courts the members and public prosecutor met in turned subject Shebek's private room, where the conversation on the celebrated Krasovski case. to their jurisdiction, Ivan Fedor Vasilievich warmly maintained that it was not Egorovich

having entered into the discussion at the start, took no part in it but looked through the Gazette which had just been handed in.

ODQ GD '
"Here, read it

"Gentlemen," he said, "Ivan Ilych has died!" "You don't say so!" yourself," Surrounded replied Peter

Ivanovich, handing Fedor Vasilievich the paper still damp from the press. Golovina, by a black border were the words: "Praskovya Fedorovna

1D

with profound sorrow, informs relatives

and friends of the demise of her beloved husband Ivan Ilych Golovin, Member of the Court of Justice,
3

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LJ LWD

maintained the contrary, while Peter Ivanovich, not

O/ LE UD

Ivan Egorovich

U\

During an interval in the Melvinski trial in

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy which occurred on February the 4th of this year o'clock in the afternoon. that death Alexeev might receive his appointment. and the promotion means 1D an extra eight hundred rubles a year for me besides the allowance. and LJ LWD was of So on receiving the news of Ivan Ilych's room the changes and death the first thought of each of the gentlemen in promotions it might occasion among themselves or their acquaintances. His post had been kept open for him. He had been ill for some weeks with an illness said to be incurable." "Now I must apply for my brother-in-law's 4 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' private O/ LE UD would succeed U\ 1882. "I was promised that long ago. but there had been conjectures that in case of his that either Vinnikov or Shtabel Alexeev." "I shall be sure to get Shtabel's place or thought Fedor Vasilievich." Ivan Ilych had been a colleague of the gentlemen present and was liked by them all. Vinnikov's. the funeral will take place on Friday at one .

but they from you. "It's very sad." could.but something "We shall have to go to see her.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy transfer from Kaluga." "But what really was the matter with him?" "The doctors couldn't say -. 1D Everything's far away from your place." "You see." said Peter Ivanovich aloud. you mean." thought Peter Ivanovich." ODQ GD ' "Far away holidays. getting "And I haven't been to see him since the quiet trifling." live so terribly far away. he never can forgive my living on 5 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ "My wife will be very glad. able to say that I never do anything for her relations. I always meant to go." "I thought he would never leave his bed again. but each of them said something different.at least they When last I saw him I though he was better. and then she won't be ." "Had he any property?" "I think his wife had a little -.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy the other side of the river. could not help thinking also that they would now have to fulfil the very tiresome demands of propriety by attending the funeral service and paying a visit of condolence to the widow." but I'm alive!" it the complacent feeling that. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 6 ODQ GD ' Ilych's acquaintances. in all who heard of and not I. Besides considerations as to the possible transfers and promotions likely to result from Ivan Ilych's death. as usual. his so-called LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ smiling at Shebek. still talking of the . distances between different parts of the city. Then. "it is he who is dead Each one thought or felt. "Well. they returned to the Court. he's dead But the more intimate of Ivan friends. been his nearest Fedor Vasilievich and Peter Ivanovich had acquaintances." said Peter Ivanovich. Peter Ivanovich 1D had studied law with Ivan Ilych and had considered himself to be under obligations to him. the mere fact of the death of a near acquaintance aroused.

that had been polished up with metal powder. cabs. but on seeing Peter Ivanovich enter he stopped and winked at him. ornamented with gold and tassels." 1D and his slim figure in evening dress. as if to say: "Ivan Ilych has made a mess of things -. Peter Ivanovich recognized one of Schwartz's face with his Piccadilly whiskers. Peter Ivanovich sacrificed his usual nap.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy Having told his wife at dinner-time of Ivan possible to get her brother transferred to their circuit. had as usual E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 7 ODQ GD ' their fur cloaks. coming His colleague Schwartz was just downstairs. and of his conjecture that it might be . but the other was a stranger to him. Leaning At the entrance stood a carriage and two against the wall in the hall downstairs near the cloakstand was a cord coffin-lid covered with cloth of gold. Two ladies in black were taking off them as Ivan Ilych's sister.not like you and me. LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ Ilych's death. put on his evening clothes and drove to Ivan Ilych's house.

where Schwartz did not come down but remained wanted to widow's he was. The ladies and went upstairs to the seriously compressed lips but a playful looking his eyes. He therefore adopted a middle course. like everyone else on such LJ LWD Schwartz U\ to the playfulness of his character and had a special . indicated by a twist of his eyebrows the room to the occasions. entered feeling uncertain what he would have to do. or so it seemed to Peter Ivanovich. that evening. At 8 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' right where the body lay. Peter Ivanovich allowed O/ LE UD the ladies with precede him and slowly followed them upstairs. All he knew was that at such times it is always safe to cross oneself. crossing himself 1D On entering the room he began and made a slight movement resembling a bow. Peter Ivanovich. and Peter Ivanovich understood that he arrange where they should play bridge room. But he was not quite sure whether one should make obseisances while doing so.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy an air of elegant solemnity which contrasted with piquancy here.

whisper. as far as the motion of his head and men -. one of themselves as they did so. standing motionless. Gerasim. seen Gerasim in the study. stepping lightly in front of Peter Ivanovich. with an whom was a high-school pupil -. in a expression frock.apparently nephews. resolute Church Reader. immediately aware of a faint O/ LE UD precluded U\ any arm allowed. was reading something in a loud voice LJ LWD that contradiction. Noticing this. he surveyed the room. strewing The butler's assistant. Two young .coat. was Peter Ivanovich was odour of a decomposing body.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy the same time.were leaving the room. Peter Ivanovich had Ivan Ilych had been particularly fond of him and he 1D was performing the duty of a sick nurse. The last time he had called on Ivan Ilych. crossing An old woman was and a lady with strangely arched eyebrows was saying something to her in a A vigorous. Peter Ivanovich continued to make the sign slightly inclining his head in an 9 of the cross E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' something on the floor.

the the room. U\ Reader. his rigid limbs sunk in the bowed on the pillow.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy intermediate direction between the coffin. in a specially heavy way. as is always the case with the dead. with the head forever bald patches over his sunken temples was thrust up in the way peculiar to the dead. as dead men always lie. and the icons on the table in a corner of . soft cushions of the coffin. 10 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD His yellow waxen brow with O/ LE UD accomplished. but. Afterwards. and above all more dignified than when necessary had been the expression on the face said that what was 1D accomplished rightly. He was much even thinner since Peter Ivanovich had last seen him. when it seemed to him that this movement of his arm in crossing himself had gone on too long. the protruding nose changed ODQ GD ' and grown seeming to press on the upper lip. he stopped and began to look at the corpse. Besides this there was in that expression a reproach and a warning to the living. The dead man lay. his face was handsomer and he was alive.

LJ LWD both hands toying with his top-hat behind his back. He felt that Schwartz was above all these happenings and His very look said that this incident of a church service for Ivan Ilych could not be a sufficient reason for infringing the order of the session -.in other words. that it would certainly not prevent his unwrapping a new pack of cards and shuffling them that evening while a footman placed fresh candles on the table: in fact. Schwartz was adjoining room with legs waiting for him in the The mere sight of that playful. as he himself was aware.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy This warning seemed to Peter Ivanovich out of certain discomfort and so he hurriedly crossed himself once more and turned and went out of the door -. He felt a . well-groomed. O/ LE UD spread wide apart and U\ place. or at least not applicable to him. and elegant figure refreshed Peter Ivanovich.too hurriedly and too regardless of propriety. that there was no reason for supposing that this incident would hinder their 11 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' would not surrender to any depressing influences.

" and looked at him awaiting some 12 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ this in a whisper as Peter Ivanovich passed him. conducted them to the room where the dead "The service will begin immediately.. her head covered with lace.. and said: "I know you were a true friend to Ivan Ilych. But apparently Peter Ivanovich evening. took his still. . dressed all in black. stood neither accepting nor declining this him. Praskovya Fedorovna recognizing Peter 1D Ivanovich. came out of her own room body lay. was not destined to play bridge that Praskovya Fedorovna (a short.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy spending the evening agreeably. Please go in. making an indefinite bow. sighed. Indeed he said proposing that they should meet for a game at Fedor Vasilievich's. evidently invitation. went close up to hand." Schwartz. and said: with some other ODQ GD ' ladies. fat woman who despite all efforts to the contrary had continued to broaden steadily from her shoulders downwards and who had the same extraordinarily arched eyebrows as the lady who had been standing by the coffin).

and 1D his arm gratefully. Peter Ivanovich sighed still more deeply and Praskovya Fedorovna pressed When they reached the despondently. in that room. "Come with me." said arm. so what he had to do here was to press her hand. "Give me your Peter Ivanovich gave her his arm and they went to the inner rooms.. "That does for our bridge! player. upholstered in pink cretonne and lighted by a dim lamp. Perhaps you can cut in when you do escape. drawing-room." result had been achieved: were touched. passing Schwartz who Don's object if we find another ODQ GD ' winked at Peter Ivanovich compassionately. before it begins. they sat down at the table -E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 13 LJ LWD U\ So just as it had been the right thing to cross himself . "Believe me.. sigh." said his playful look. and say.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy suitable response." O/ LE UD he did all this and as he did it felt that the desired that both he and she I want to speak to you the widow. And Peter Ivanovich knew that.

As he sat down on the pouffe Peter Ivanovich consulted how Ivan Ilych had arranged this room and had green leaves. and on her way to the sofa the lace of the widow's black shawl caught on the edge the springs of the rose also and gave him a push. his weight. Peter Ivanovich rose to detach it. and pouffe. The widow began detaching her shawl herself. and again the pouffe rebelled and even this was all over she took out a 14 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' of the table.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy she on a sofa and Peter Ivanovich on a low pouffe. LJ LWD him regarding this pink cretonne with O/ LE UD U\ the springs of which yielded spasmodically under . When 1D again. suppressing the rebellious springs of the pouffe under him. The whole room was full of furniture and knick-knacks. Praskovya Fedorovna had been on the that such a warning was out of keeping with her recalled point of warning him to take another seat. relieved of his weight. But the widow had not got up quite freed herself and Peter Ivanovich creaked. but felt present condition and so changed her mind. and Peter Ivanovich again sat down.

This awkward situation was interrupted by Sokolov." she said in a magnanimous and turned to discuss with LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ The episode with the shawl and the struggle with . silent gesture must indeed be so. 15 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' "Please smoke. the pouffe had cooled Peter Ivanovich's emotions and he sat there with a sullen look on his face. remarked in French that it Peter Ivanovich made a signifying his full conviction that it yet crushed voice. Sokolov the price of the plot for the grave. Peter Ivanovich with the air of a victim.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy clean cambric handkerchief and began to weep. Ivan Ilych's butler. Peter Ivanovich while lighting his cigarette inquiring very circumstantially into the heard her 1D prices of different plots in the cemetery and finally decide which she would take. who came to report that the plot in the cemetery that Praskovya Fedorovna had chosen would cost tow hundred rubles. She stopped weeping and. when that was done she gave instructions about engaging the choir. looking at was very hard for her.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy

Sokolov then left the room. Peter Ivanovich, shifting the albums that lay on the table; and noticing that the table was endangered by his cigarette-ash, she immediately passed him an ash-tray, saying as she did so: "I consider it an affectation to say that my grief prevents my attending to practical affairs. On the contrary, if me, but -anything can -- I won't say console him."

distract me, it is seeing to everything concerning She again took out her handkerchief as if to speak preparing to cry, but suddenly, as if mastering her calmly.

you about."

the springs of the pouffe, which immediately began quivering under him. "He suffered terribly the last few days." "Did he?" said Peter Ivanovich. "Oh, terribly! He screamed unceasingly, not
16

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feeling, she shook herself and began

"But there is something I want to talk to

Peter Ivanovich bowed, keeping control of

LJ LWD

O/ LE UD

U\

"I look after everything myself," she told

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy

for minutes but for hours. for the last three days cannot understand how I bore it; you could hear him three rooms off. Oh, what I have suffered!" time?" asked Peter Ivanovich. "Is it possible that he was conscious all that "Yes," she whispered. "To the last moment. He took leave of us a quarter of an hour before he The thought of the suffering of this man he had known so intimately, first as a merry little boy, then as a schoolmate, and later as a grown-up died, and asked us to take Volodya away."

horror, despite an unpleasant consciousness of his own and this woman's dissimulation. He again saw that brow, and that nose pressing down on the lip, and felt afraid for himself. "Three days of frightful suffering and the Why, that might suddenly, at any time, death!

1D

happen to me," he thought, and for a moment felt terrified. But -- he did not himself know how -- the
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colleague, suddenly struck Peter Ivanovich with

LJ LWD

O/ LE UD

U\

he screamed incessantly.

It

was unendurable.

I

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy

customary reflection at once occurred to him that and that it should not and could not happen to him, and that to think that it could would be yielding to depressing which he ought not to do, as Schwartz's expression plainly showed. After which reflection Peter Ivanovich felt reassured, and began to ask

with interest about the details of Ivan Ilych's death, Ilych but certainly not to himself. physical sufferings

After many details of the really dreadful Ivan Ilych had endured (which effect those

sufferings had produced on Praskovya Fedorovna's nerves) the widow apparently found it necessary to get to business. "Oh, Peter Ivanovich, how hard it is! How

terribly, terribly

1D

weep.

finish blowing her nose. When she had don so he
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details he learnt only from the

Peter Ivanovich sighed and waited for her to

LJ LWD

as though death was an accident natural to Ivan

hard!" and she again began to

O/ LE UD

U\

this had happened

to Ivan Ilych and not to him,

more even than he did himself. he put out his O/ LE UD U\ and brought out what was evidently her chief .Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy said. pressed her hand. to question him as to how she could death.namely. the anteroom... rose. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 19 1D cigarette. obtain a grant of money from the husband's government on the occasion of her She made it appear that she was asking Peter Ivanovich's advice about her pension. condemning the government for its niggardliness. but he soon saw that she already knew about that to the knew how much could be got out of the government in consequence of her husband's death. She Ivanovich tried to think of Noticing this. but after reflecting for a while and. "Believe me. but wanted to find out whether she could not possibly extract some means of doing so. Peter LJ LWD minutest detail." and she again began talking concern with him -. Then she sighed and evidently began to devise means of getting rid of her visitor. he said he thought that nothing more could be got. and went out into ODQ GD ' something more. out of propriety.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy In the dining-room where the clock stood at an antique shop. when from under the stairs appeared the figure of Ivan Ilych's schoolboy son. such as Peter law Ivanovich together. determined. remembered when they studied 1D look that is seen in the eyes of boys of thirteen or E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 20 ODQ GD ' His Ivanovich also knew and who was her fiance. expression. She had a gloomy. who was extremely like his father. and he recognized met a priest Ivan and a few acquaintances who had come to attend Ilych's daughter. a handsome young woman. as he tear-stained eyes had in them the LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ that Ivan Ilych had liked so much and had bought . with the same offended look. stood a wealthy young and examining magistrate. He seemed a little Ivan Ilych. whom Peter had heard. almost angry though he were in some way to blame. She was in black and her slim figure appeared slimmer than ever. and bowed to Peter Ivanovich as Behind her. man. He bowed mournfully to them and was about to pass into the death-chamber. Peter Ivanovich the service.

but Gerasim darted out of the dead man's room. Peter Ivanovich he scowled shamefacedly. "It's a sad affair. and sprang back to the 21 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' helped him on with it. incense. We shall all come to it some day. friend Gerasim. rummaged among the fur coats to find Peter Ivanovich's and so as to say something." said Peter Ivanovich. isn't it?" "It's God will. did not yield to any depressing influence. There was no one in the with his strong hands anteroom. like a man in the thick of urgent work. displaying his teeth -. and was one of the first to leave the room. When he saw Peter Ivanovich nodded to him and entered the death-chamber." said Gerasim. Ivanovich stood looking gloomily down at his feet.and.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy fourteen who are not pure-minded. he briskly opened the front door. LJ LWD O/ LE UD The service U\ began: Peter morosely and . He did not look once at the dead man. helped Peter Ivanovich into the sledge. called the coachman. and sobs. tears.the even white teeth of a healthy peasant -. candles. groans. "Well.

.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy porch as if in readiness for what he had to do next. 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' LJ LWD just finishing the first rubber." "It's not too late even now. so that it was quite O/ LE UD U\ 22 Peter Ivanovich found the fresh air .I'll call round He accordingly drove there and found them convenient for him to cut in.. the dead body. and carbolic acid. particularly pleasant after the smell of incense. on Fedor Vasilievich. "Where to sir?" asked the coachman..

of whom Ivan Ilych was eldest son was following in his O/ LE UD are obviously U\ Ivan Ilych's life had been most simple and . father's footsteps only in another department. and for whom therefore posts are specially created. Ilya Epimovich Golovin. which though rubles that are not fictitious. 1D the second. His father had been an official who after serving in various ministries and departments in Petersburg had made the sort of career which brings men to positions cannot be dismissed. and 23 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' The fictitious carry salaries of from six to ten thousand He had three sons. He had been a member of the Court of Justice.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy II most ordinary and therefore most terrible. Such was Councillor and superfluous member various superfluous institutions. though they from which by reason of their long service they LJ LWD the of Privy unfit to hold any responsible position. and in receipt of which they live on to a great age. and died at the age of forty-five.

though strict in the fulfillment of what E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 24 LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ at which a similar sinecure would be reached. lively He had studied with his younger brother at the School of Law. Ivan Ilych finished the course well. cheerful. good-natured. but the latter had failed to complete the course and was expelled when he was in the fifth class. He had ruined his prospects in a number of positions and was not serving in the railway department. ODQ GD ' mean between them -.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy was already approaching that stage in the service third son was a failure.an intelligent polished. His father and brothers. Even when he was at the School of Law he was just what he remained for the rest of a capable. not merely disliked meeting him. Greff. but was a happy and agreeable man. and 1D his life: sociable man. and still more their wives. His sister had married Baron Ivan Ilych was *le phenix de la famille* as people said. the . He was neither as cold and formal as his elder brother nor as wild as the younger. but avoided remembering his existence unless compelled to do so. a Petersburg official of her father's type.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy

he

considered to be his duty:

and he considered

authority. Neither as a boy nor as a man was he a

toady, but from early youth was by nature attracted to people of high station as a fly is drawn to the light, assimilating their ways and views of life and establishing friendly relations with them. All the enthusiasms of childhood and youth passed without sensuality, to vanity, and latterly among the highest classes to liberalism, but always within limits which his instinct unfailingly indicated to him as correct. formerly seemed to him very horrid and made him feel disgusted with himself when he did them; but when later on he saw that such actions were done by people of good position and that they did not about them regard them as wrong, he was able not exactly to

1D

regard them as right, but to forget them.

entirely or not be at all troubled at remembering

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At school he had done things which had

LJ LWD

leaving much trace on him; he succumbed to

O/ LE UD

U\
25

his duty to be what was so considered by those in

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy

Having graduated from the School of Law and having received money from his father for his

equipment, Ivan Ilych ordered himself clothes at Scharmer's, the fashionable tailor, hung a medallion inscribed *respice finem* on his watch-chain, took leave of his professor and the prince who was patron of the school, had a farewell dinner with his his new and fashionable

clothes, shaving and other toilet appliances, and a travelling rug, all purchased at the best shops, he father's influence, he had been attached to the governor as an official for special service. In the province Ivan Ilych soon arranged as easy and agreeable a position for himself as he had had at the School of Law. He performed his official task, made his career, and at the same time amused himself pleasantly and decorously. Occasionally he paid official visits to country
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set off for one of the provinces where through his

LJ LWD

comrades at Donon's first-class restaurant, and with portmanteau, linen,

O/ LE UD

U\

and qualified for the tenth rank of the civil service,

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy

districts where he behaved with dignity both to his entrusted to him, which related chiefly to the sectarians, with an honesty of which he could not but feel proud. taste for frivolous

exactness and incorruptible

In official matters, despite his youth and gaiety, he was exceedingly but in reserved, punctilious, and even severe; good-

natured, correct in his manner, and *bon

enfant*, as the governor and his wife -- with whom he was like one of the family -- used to say of him. who made advances to the elegant young lawyer, and there was also a milliner; and carousals with aides-de-camp who there were visited the

district, and after-supper visits to a certain outlying street of doubtful reputation; and there was too some obsequiousness to his chief and even to his

1D

chief's wife, but all this was done with such a tone of good breeding that no hard names could be applied
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In the province he had an affair with a lady

LJ LWD

society he was often amusing and witty, and always

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U\

superiors and inferiors, and performed the duties

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy to it. It all came under the heading of the French all done with clean hands. inspiring general respect and capable of 1D official duties from his private life. came a change in So Ivan Ilych served for five years and then his official life. with French phrases. The new and reformed judicial institutions were introduced. Ivan Ilych became such a new man. and above all among people of the best society and consequently with the approval of people of rank."* It was . as he had been E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 28 ODQ GD ' in another province and obliged him to give up the LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ saying: *"Il faut que jeunesse se passe. they had a group photograph taken and presented him with a silver cigarette-case. As examining magistrate Ivan Ilych was just separating his as *comme il faut* and decorous a man. and he set off to his new post. He was offered the post of examining magistrate. and he accepted it though the post was connexions he had formed and to make new ones. and new men were needed. His friends met to give him a send-off. in clean linen.

was in his power. friendly way. But not many people had then been directly dependent on him -.and LJ LWD easy gait he went straight into his chief's private U\ In his an duties now as examining magistrate were fare more . almost as comrades. His former position it had been pleasant to wear through the crowd O/ LE UD undress uniform made by Scharmer. Ivan Ilych felt that everyone without exception. interesting and attractive than before.only police officials and the he liked to treat them politely. as if he were letting them feel that he who had the power to crush them was treating them in people.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy when acting as an official on special service. There were then but few such But now. 1D and that he need only write a few words on a sheet 29 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' sectarians when he went on special missions -. and to pass of petitioners and officials who audience with the were timorously awaiting an governor. even the most important and self-satisfied. and who envied him as with free and room to have a cup of tea and a cigarette with him. as an examining magistrate. this simple.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy

of

paper with a certain heading, and this or that accused person or a

before him in the role of an

witness, and if he did not choose to allow him to sit down, would have to stand before him and answer his questions. Ivan Ilych never abused his power; he tried on the contrary to soften its expression, the possibility of but the consciousness of it and

attraction of his office. In his work itself, especially in his examinations, he very soon acquired a method of eliminating all considerations irrelevant which it

the most complicated case to a form in

would be presented on paper only in its externals, completely excluding his personal opinion of the matter, while above all observing every prescribed formality. The work was new and Ivan Ilych was taking in a up new the post of he examining made new
30

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to the legal aspect of the case, and reducing even

LJ LWD

softening its effect, supplied the chief interest and

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U\

important, self- satisfied person would be brought

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy

acquaintances and connexions, placed himself on a tone. He took up an attitude of rather dignified

aloofness towards the provincial

picked out the best circle of legal gentlemen and wealthy gentry living in the town and assumed a tone of slight dissatisfaction with the government, of moderate liberalism, and of enlightened citizenship. At the same time, without at all altering the elegance of his toilet, he ceased shaving his chin and allowed his beard to grow as it pleased. Ivan Ilych settled down very pleasantly in towards opposition to the governor was friendly, his salary was larger, and he began to play *vint* [a form of bridge], which he found added not a little to the pleasure of life, for he had a capacity for cards, played good-humouredly, and calculated rapidly and astutely, so that he usually won. After living there for two years he met his future wife, Praskovya Fedorovna Mikhel, who was
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this new town.

The

LJ LWD

society there, which inclined

O/ LE UD

authorities, but

U\

new

footing and assumed a somewhat different

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy

the most attractive, clever, and brilliant girl of the amusements and relaxations from his labours as examining magistrate, Ivan Ilych established light and playful relations with her.

While he had been an official on special service he had been accustomed to dance, but now as an examining magistrate it was exceptional for show that though he served under the reformed order of things, and had reached the fifth official could do it So at the end of an rank, yet when it came to dancing he evening him to do so. If he danced now, he did it as if to

Fedorovna, and it was chiefly during these dances that he captivated her. She fell in love with him. Ivan Ilych had at first no definite intention of marrying, but when the girl fell in love with him he said to himself: "Really, why shouldn't I marry?"

1D

was not bad looking, and had some little property.
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better than most people.

he sometimes danced with Praskovya

Praskovya Fedorovna came of a good family,

LJ LWD

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set

in

which

he

moved,

and

among

other

. pretty. would have an equal income. to say that Ivan Ilych married because he fell in Praskovya Fedorovna and found sympathized with love with she that his views of life would be as social circle approved of the match. he hoped. and at the same time it placed of his associates. gay 33 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD incorrect as to say that he married O/ LE UD because his U\ match. and thoroughly correct young woman. The ODQ GD ' was considered the right thing by the most highly So Ivan Ilych got married.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy Ivan Ilych might have aspired to a more brilliant and she. He was swayed by both these considerations: the marriage gave him personal satisfaction. were very pleasant until his wife became pregnant so that Ivan Ilych had begun to think that marriage would not impair the easy. new crockery. with its conjugal caresses. the new furniture. She was well connected. and new linen. preparations for marriage and the beginning of married life. but even this was good. He had his salary. agreeable. and was a sweet.

But from the first his wife's pregnancy. continued to live in his usual easy and pleasant way. and also tried going out to his 34 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' found fault with everything. approved but would even improve it. invited friends to his house for a game of cards. She began to be jealous without any cause. unexpectedly His wife. expected him to devote his whole attention to her. unseemly. something new. without any reason -. ill-mannered scenes. months of unpleasant. depressing. and showed itself. unpleasantness of this state of affairs by the same easy and decorous relation to life that had served him heretofore: he tried to ignore his wife's disagreeable moods. .*de gaiete began to disturb the pleasure and propriety of their life. and made coarse and At first Ivan Ilych hoped to escape from the LJ LWD de coeur* as Ivan Ilych expressed it to himself -- O/ LE UD U\ of by society and regarded by himself as natural.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy and always decorous character of his life. and from which there was no way of escape.

and continued to abuse him every time he did not fulfil her demands. He now realized that matrimony always conducive to the pleasures and amenities of life. and that he must therefore Ivan Ilych began to seek for means -.that is. and with 35 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library O/ LE UD of doing so. But one using such coarse words.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy club or spending his evenings with friends. till he stayed at home and was bored just as she was -. .at any rate with Praskovya Fedorovna -. so resolutely and with such evident determination not to give way till he submitted -.was not ODQ GD ' entrench himself LJ LWD wife to against such infringement.that he became alarmed. His official duties were the one thing that imposed upon Praskovya Fedorovna. 1D With the birth of their child. the attempts to feed it and the various failures in doing so. but on the contrary often infringed both comfort and propriety. U\ And day his wife began upbraiding him so vigorously. and by means of his official work and the duties attached to it he began struggling with his secure his own independence.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy the real and imaginary child. within a year of his wedding. to lead a decorous life approved of by society.which it could give him. and above all that E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 36 ODQ GD ' may add some comforts to life. As his wife grew more irritable and exacting securing for himself an existence and Ivan Ilych transferred the center of gravity of his life more and more to his official work. the need of outside his family life became still more imperative. so did he ambitious than before. in which Ivan illnesses of mother and demanded but about which he understood nothing. bed -. though it in fact a very intricate and difficult affair towards which in order to perform one's duty.dinner at home. is LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ Ilych's sympathy was . that is. And Ivan Ilych evolved such an attitude He only required of it those housewife. Ivan Ilych had grow to like his work better and became more Very soon. realized that marriage. one must adopt a definite attitude just as towards one's official duties. 1D conveniences -. and towards married life.

and more querulous life rendered him attitude Ivan Ilych had adopted towards his home almost impervious to her grumbling. the publicity his speeches received. but the After seven years' service in that town he another province as Public 37 LJ LWD was made Assistant Public O/ LE UD U\ opinion. His wife became more and ill-tempered. 1D was transferred to E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' success he had in all these things. and the still more attractive. made his work More children came. their importance. and was very thankful when he found them. Ivan Ilych was esteemed a good official. after three years Prosecutor. where he found satisfaction. but if he met with antagonism and querulousness he at once retired into his separate fenced-off world of official duties. the possibility of indicting and imprisoning anyone he chose. For the rest he looked for lighthearted . and His new duties.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy propriety of external forms required by public pleasure and propriety.

veiled hostility which showed itself in their aloofness from one 1D Ilych had he considered that it ought not to exist. for every inconvenience new home. There remained only those This aloofness might have grieved Ivan LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ and his wife did not like the place they moved to. but he now regarded the position as normal. . besides which him. They moved. led to topics which recalled former disputes. and family life became still more two of their children died unpleasant for Praskovya Fedorovna blamed her husband they encountered in their between Most of the conversations husband and wife. especially as to the children's education.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy Prosecutor. but were short of money Though the salary was higher the cost of living was greater. and these disputes were apt to flare up rare periods of amorousness which still came to them at times but did not last long. These were islets at which they anchored for a while and then again set out upon that ocean of another. and 38 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' again at any moment.

of which he was conscious -. or with duties. The chief thing however was that he had his official in the official world and that interest absorbed him.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy even made it the goal at which he aimed in family from those unpleasantness and to give them a semblance of harmlessness and O/ LE UD propriety. The whole interest of his life now centered meetings with his subordinates.pleasantly and properly.all this gave him pleasure and filled his life. the importance. together with chats with his colleagues. attained this by spending less and less time with his family. The consciousness of his power. and when obliged to be at home he tried to safeguard his position by the presence of outsiders. So that on the whole Ivan Ilych's life continued to flow as he considered it should do -. his success superiors and inferiors. even entry into court. 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' the external dignity of his LJ LWD U\ He 39 life. His aim was to free himself more and more . and above all his masterly handling of cases. and bridge. being able to ruin anybody he wished to ruin. dinners.

another .Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy so things continued for another seven years. a Ivan Ilych schoolboy and a subject of dissension. and only one son was left. the boy did not learn 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' LJ LWD 40 O/ LE UD U\ His eldest daughter was already sixteen. but to spite him Praskovya Fedorovna entered him at the High School. The daughter had been educated at home and had turned out well: badly either. wanted to put him in the School of Law. child had died.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy III So Ivan Ilych lived for seventeen years after his marriage. the hardest year of Ivan insufficient for 41 1D Ilych's life. LJ LWD when an unanticipated and unpleasant occurrence O/ LE UD U\ .who became colder to him and again passed him over when other appointments were made. but Happe somehow came to Ivan Ilych became irritable. and had transfers while awaiting a more desirable quite upset the peaceful course of his life. He was expecting to be offered the post of presiding judge in a University town. long standing. This was in 1880. and quarrelled both him and with his immediate superiors -. It was then that it became evident on the one hand that his salary was E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' the front and obtained the appointment instead. reproached Happe. He was already a Public Prosecutor of declined several proposed post.

He alone knew that with the consciousness of the his wife's incessant nagging. and that they regarded his position with a salary of 3. and that it was necessary to take energetic E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 42 ODQ GD ' normal. but that what was for . without his work. depression. his position was far from obtained leave of absence and went with his wife to live in the country at her brother's place. done him. and on the other that he had been him the greatest and most cruel injustice appeared to others a quite ordinary occurrence. and not only this. In the country. 1D and not only *ennui* but intolerable and he decided that it was impossible to go on living like that. Ivan Ilych felt himself abandoned by everyone. In order to save money that summer he LJ LWD with O/ LE UD U\ Even his forgotten. and with the debts he had contracted by living beyond his means. he experienced *ennui* for the first time in his life. father did not consider it his duty to help him.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy them to live on.500 rubles as injustices quite normal and even fortunate.

and down the veranda. All he now wanted was an appointment rubles.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy measures. either in the the sole object of obtaining a post with a salary of with the railways in one of the ODQ GD ' to another post Institutions. in transferred to another ministry. or even in the customs -. or tendency. At Kursk 43 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD with a salary of five thousand administration. or kind of activity. in the banks. Empress Marya's O/ LE UD order to punish U\ Having passed a sleepless night pacing up . 1D with remarkable and unexpected success. despite many protests from his wife and her brother. He was no longer bent on any particular department.but it had to carry with it a salary of five thousand rubles and be in a ministry other than that in which they had And this quest of Ivan Ilych's was crowned failed to appreciate him. those who had failed to appreciate him and to get Next day. he started for Petersburg with five thousand rubles a year. he decided to go to Petersburg and bestir himself.

Ilyin. A week later he telegraphed to his wife: in Miller's place. and told . and on Ivan Ilych found Zachar of an appointment in his former Department of Justice. In Moscow this news was confirmed.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy an acquaintance of his. sat down beside Ivan Ilych. significance for Russia. Peter Petrovich. I shall receive "Zachar 1D appointment on presentation of report." Thanks to this change of personnel. Ivan 44 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD for Ivan Ilych. and consequently his friend Zachar Ivanovich. it was highly favourable for Ivan Ilych. because by bringing forward a new O/ LE UD U\ class carriage. got into the firsthim of a telegram just received by the governor of place in the ministry: The proposed Peter Ivanovich was to be change. had a special significance man. F. apart from its Kursk announcing that a change was about to take superseded by Ivan Semonovich. since Sachar Ivanovich was a friend and reaching Petersburg Ivanovich and received a definite promise ODQ GD ' colleague of his. I.

Praskovya Fedorovna listened to all this and believe it. thousand rubles salary and three thousand five rubles for expenses connected with his All his ill humour towards his former enemies and the whole department vanished. and Ivan Ilych was completely happy. how his enemies were put to shame and now fawned on him. and how much everybody in Petersburg had liked him.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy Ilych had unexpectedly obtained an appointment in above his former colleagues besides giving him five hundred removal. and contented than he He returned to the country more cheerful Praskovya Fedorovna also cheered up and a truce was arranged between them. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD had been for a long time. Ivan Ilych told of how all those who had been ODQ GD ' he had been feted by everybody in Petersburg. how envious they were of his appointment. She did not contradict Ivan Ilych saw 45 1D appeared to anything. but only made plans for their life in the town to which they were going. O/ LE UD U\ his former ministry which placed him two states .

O/ LE UD had happened suddenly fortunately. and that he and his wife were at one in their aims and moreover saw so little of one another. he needed time to settle into the new place. Ivan Ilych had thought of taking his family away with him at once. and that. wife's brother and become 46 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library U\ so and his wife agreed. for he had to take up his new duties on the 10th of September. which were almost exactly what Praskovya Fedorovna too had ODQ GD ' Now that decided on. but the insistence of his her sister-in-law.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy with delight that these plans were his plans. his . and to buy and order many arrangements as he had resolved LJ LWD everything who had in a word. to make such on. to move all his belongings additional things: from the province. Moreover. Ivan Ilych had come back for a short time only. that he life was regaining its due and natural character of pleasant lightheartedness and decorum. after a stumble. they got on together better than they had done since the first years of marriage.

On falling asleep he 47 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ family. a convenient and dignified study. just the thing both he and his wife had dreamt of. He saw what a refined and elegant character. chose the with antiques which he Everything when progressed were ODQ GD ' wallpapers. Spacious. induced him to depart alone. it would all have when it was ready. did not leave him. . supplemented the furniture (preferably considered particularly and half progressed completed and even they *comme il faut*).Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy particularly amiable and friendly to him and his So he departed. free from vulgarity. lofty reception rooms in the old style. approached the ideal he had set himself: only things 1D exceeded his expectations. Ivan Ilych himself superintended the arrangements. the one intensifying the other.it might have been specially built for them. and supervised the upholstering. and the cheerful state of mind induced by his success and by the harmony between his wife and himself. a study for his son -. rooms for his wife and daughter. He found a delightful house.

the what-not. would expecting as much. as they would be when everything was in pleased by the thought of how his wife and daughter. the little chairs dotted here and there. new duties -interested Sometimes ODQ GD ' him he less even the whole place. the dishes place. He was so interested in it 48 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD He had been particularly O/ LE UD U\ look. which gave a be impressed by it. They were certainly not successful in finding. Looking at the yet unfinished drawing room . and the bronzes. But in his letters he intentionally All this so absorbed him that his than had he had expected. antiques particularly aristocratic character to to understated everything in order to be able surprise them. and buying cheaply. of absent- though he liked his official work -moments 1D mindedness during the court sessions and would consider whether he should have straight or curved cornices for his curtains.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy pictured to himself how the reception room would he could see the fireplace. He was and plates on the walls. the screen. who shared his taste n this matter.

and he felt particularly bright He wrote: "I feel fifteen years O/ LE UD wanted the U\ furniture. But the result was charming not only in LJ LWD the pain soon passed. In reality it was just what is usually seen in succeed only in there are the houses of people of moderate means who want to appear rich. younger. The bruised place was painful but and well just then." He thought he would have everything dragged on till mid- ready by September. who did not understand. or rehanging the curtains. rearranging the mounting a stepladder to show the upholsterer.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy all that he often did things himself. and therefore resembling others like themselves: 1D damasks.all the things people of a certain class have in order to resemble other people of that E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 49 ODQ GD ' October. how he hangings draped. but it his eyes but to everyone who saw it. and dull and polished bronzes -. rugs. plants. but being a strong and agile man he clung on and only knocked his side against the knob of the window frame. Once when . he mad a false step and slipped. dark wood.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy class. and showed them LJ LWD O/ LE UD station and U\ would never have been noticed." So they began living in their new home -. but it's passing off already -. he laughed. but to him it all . it hurts touched. and beamed with pleasure. just here. it seemed to be He was very happy when he met his family at the brought them to the newly furnished house all lit up. "It's a good thing I'm a bit of an athlete. but I merely knocked myself. drank in their praises eagerly. when it's Another man might have been killed.it's only a bruise. His house was so like the others that quite exceptional. where a footman in a white tie opened the door into the hall decorated with plants. and when they went on into the drawing-room exclamations of delight.in 50 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' him about his fall. when Praskovya Fedorovna among others things asked how he had gone flying and had frightened the upholsterer. and the study uttering He conducted them everywhere. At tea that evening.

and O/ LE UD U\ When thoroughly settled in they found they were just one . forming habits. but they were then making acquaintances. but it was all very nice. and at first he was generally in a good humour. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 51 ODQ GD ' passed off without any serious quarrels. they were both so well satisfied and had so much to do that it all nothing was left to arrange it became rather dull and something seemed to be lacking. Ivan Ilych spent his mornings at the law 1D court and came home to diner. as always happens. everything was finally arranged Things went particularly well at first. another thing moved. LJ LWD that thing ordered.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy which. when they got room short -. something else adjusted. though he occasionally became irritable just on account of his house. and life was growing fuller. which as always was just a little (some five hundred rubles) too little. Though there were some disputes between husband and wife.and with the increased income. before and while something had still to be done: this thing bought.

. the chancery itself.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy (Every spot on the tablecloth or the upholstery. drank his coffee. and He had devoted so much trouble to arranging it all that every disturbance of it distressed him.) But on the whole his life ran its course as he believed life should do: easily. the thing was to exclude everything fresh and vital. which always disturbs the regular course of official business. and then only on official grounds. and administrative. wanting A man some 1D information. In all this chancery. irritated him. would have nothing to do with him: but if the man had some business with him in 52 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' the sittings public and LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ every broken window- blind string. would come. and decorously. He got up at nine. and then put on his undress uniform and went to the law courts. pleasantly. and to admit only official relations with people. read the paper. Ivan Ilych. as one in whose sphere the matter did not lie. there the harness in which he worked had already been stretched to fit him and he donned it without a hitch: inquiries at the petitioners. for instance.

correctly. drank tea. something that could be everything. in to separate his real life from the official side of to let the human and official relations mingle. would observe the courtesies of life. He let himself do this just because he felt that he could at any time he chose resume the strictly official attitude again and drop the human relation.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy his official capacity. and even artistically. he would even allow himself LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ expressed on officially stamped paper. and by long practice and natural aptitude had the brought it to such a pitch that sometimes. As soon as the official relations ended. in the highest degree. positively everything he could within the limits of such relations. he would do . that is. a little about 53 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' manner of a virtuoso. and he did it all easily. Ivan Ilych possessed this capacity affairs and not mix the two. chatted politics. and in doing so would maintain the semblance of friendly human relations. pleasantly. so did everything else. a little about general topics. In the intervals between the sessions a little about 1D he smoked.

and that his son had been to school. settled down to work. or had a visitor.one of . the first violins who has played his part in an orchestra with precision -. they had no visitors. depositions of and in the evening Everything was as it should be. had done his homework with his tutor. Ivan Ilych sometimes read a book that was being much discussed at the time. but with the feelings of a virtuoso -.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy cards. Ivan Ilych's chief pleasure was giving little invited men and women of 1D dinners to which he good social position.he would return home to find that his wife and daughter had been out paying calls. that is. and just as his drawing-room 54 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' read official papers. After dinner. compared the LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ Tired. but most of all about official appointments. This was neither dull nor might have been amusing. and was surely learning what is taught at High Schools. and noted paragraphs of the Code applying to them. if witnesses. It was dull when he playing bridge. but if no bridge was available it was at any rate better than doing nothing or sitting with his wife.

LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ Ivan Ilych Praskovya 55 enjoyable little parties resemble all other such . except that with his wife about the cakes and sweets. and Ivan Ilych had of the everything from an expensive confectioner and The best people were 1D danced with Princess Trufonova. and the quarrel occurred because some of those cakes were left over and the confectioner's bill came to forty-five rubles.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy resembled all other drawing-rooms so did his parties." and he clutched at his head and made angry allusions to divorce. a sister Burden". it led to a violent quarrel enjoyed it and everything went off well. distinguished founder of the Society "Bear My E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' a great and disagreeable quarrel. But the dance itself had been enjoyable. there. Praskovya Fedorovna had made her own plans. It was Fedorovna called him "a fool and an imbecile. but Ivan Ilych insisted on getting ordered too many cakes. Once they even gave a dance.

In their views as to their acquaintances. So they lived. his social pleasures were . not noisy partners. especially if LJ LWD the best people and were O/ LE UD acknowledged U\ that pleasures of ambition. wife and daughter were entirely agreed. He whatever disagreeable incident happened in his life. and of course to fourhave to stand out. and tacitly E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 56 ODQ GD ' a glass of wine. Ivan Ilych went to bed in a specially good humour. husband. but Ivan Ilych's greatest pleasure was playing bridge. to play a clever and serious game (when the cards allowed it) and then to have supper and drink he had won a little (to win a large sum was unpleasant).Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy The pleasures connected with his work were those of vanity. the pleasure that beamed like a ray of light above everything else was to sit down to bridge with good players. though one pretended not to handed bridge (with five players it was annoying to mind). after a game of bridge. they formed a circle of acquaintances among 1D visited by people of importance and by young folk.

began to be so attentive to her that Ivan Ilych had already spoken to Praskovya Fedorovna about it. an examining made up to Lisa. and Ivanovich Petrishchev's son and sole heir. Young men Petrishchev. without change.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy and unanimously kept at arm's length and shook off much show of affection. gushed into the drawingroom with its Japanese plates on the walls. So they lived. and life flowed pleasantly. and for them. and all went well. 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' considered whether they should not arrange a party LJ LWD O/ LE UD magistrate and Dmitri U\ Soon 57 the various shabby friends and relations who. these shabby friends ceased to obtrude themselves and only the best people remained in the Golovins' set. with . or get up some private theatricals.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' LJ LWD 58 O/ LE UD U\ .

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy IV They were all in good health. grew into a sense of pressure in irritability became worse and worse and began to mar the agreeable. had a queer taste in It could not be called ill health if Ivan Ilych sometimes said that he his mouth and felt some discomfort in his left side. itself in the Golovin family. But this discomfort increased and. and wife Scenes again became frequent. easy. and without an explosion. and correct life that had established frequent. though not exactly painful. and soon the ease and Quarrels amenity his side accompanied by ill humour. With very few of those islets remained on which husband could meet Praskovya Fedorovna now had good reason to say trying. 1D that her husband's temper was characteristic exaggeration she said he had always E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 59 ODQ GD ' between husband and wife became more and more LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ . And his disappeared and even the decorum was barely maintained.

realized it was due to some physical derangement restrained herself and did not answer. she began to feel sorry for herself. At first she retorted and said disagreeable things to him. and for all this he blamed ODQ GD ' praiseworthy. or his daughter's hair was Praskovya Fedorovna. Sometimes he noticed that a plate or dish was chipped. His bursts of temper always came just before dinner. but only hurried to get the dinner over. She regarded this self-restraint as highly Having come to the conclusion that her husband had a dreadful temper 1D and made her life miserable. but once or twice he fell into such a rage at the beginning of dinner that she brought on by taking food. or the food was not right. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD She began to wish 60 U\ her good nature to put up with it for twenty years. . and the more she pitied herself the more she hated her husband. often just as he began to eat his soup. or his son put his elbow on the table.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy had a dreadful temper. and that it had needed all It was true that now the quarrels were started by him. and so she not done as he liked it.

and the questions which foregone conclusions of 61 1D called for answers that were and were evidently unnecessary. and the look E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD been particularly unfair and after which he had said was irritable but O/ LE UD U\ because then his salary would cease. yet she did not want him to die irritated her against him still more. and the sounding and listening. And this . After one scene in which Ivan Ilych had in explanation that he certainly that it was due to his not being well. Everything took place as he had always does.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy he would die. and though she concealed her exasperation. She considered herself dreadfully unhappy just because not even his death could save her. with which he was so familiar (resembling that which he himself assumed in court). There was the usual waiting and the important air assumed by the doctor. his going to see a celebrated doctor. that hidden exasperation of hers increased his irritation also. she said that he was ill it should be attended to. and insisted on expected and as it ODQ GD ' He went.

with the reservation that should an examination of the urine give fresh 62 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' one question was important: was his case serious LJ LWD that there was so. in solved brilliantly.. always in the same way for everybody alike. the real question was to decide between a floating kidney.." O/ LE UD It was just as it was in the law courts. The doctor said that so-and-so indicated the investigation of so-and-so did not confirm this. chronic catarrh. then he must assume that and that. as it seemed 1D favour of the appendix. It was not a question the doctor to Ivan Ilych. To Ivan Ilych only or not? But the doctor ignored that inappropriate question. then. If he assumed that and that.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy importance which implied that "if only you put we know indubitably how it has to be done.and-so inside the patient. but if U\ all yourself in our hands we will arrange everything -- . From his point of view it was not the one under consideration. The doctor put on just the same air towards him as he himself put on towards an accused person.and so on. or appendicitis.

And this conclusion struck him painfully. But tell me. on trial. but rose. it was a matter of indifference. All accomplished a thousand times in dealing with men looking over his spectacles triumphantly and even gaily at the accused. The doctor summed up just as brilliantly. He said nothing of this.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy indications the matter would be reconsidered. placed the LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ this was just what Ivan Ilych had himself brilliantly . was bad. in general." often put inappropriate questions. as if to say: "Prisoner. I 63 1D spectacles with one eye. and remarked with a sigh: "We sick people probably dangerous. or not?. but that for the doctor.. and perhaps for everybody else. though for him it arousing in him a great feeling of pity for himself and of bitterness towards the doctor's indifference doctor's fee on the table.. From the doctor's summing up Ivan Ilych concluded that things were bad. if you will not keep to the E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' to a matter of such importance. is this complaint The doctor looked at him sternly over his questions put to you.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy shall be obliged to have you removed from court. and the shops. the houses. disconsolately in Ivan Ilych went out slowly. the "I have already told you what I consider The analysis may show something more. The cabmen. and drove home. And it seemed to him that O/ LE UD U\ . seated himself his sledge. His ache. trying to translate those complicated. seemed to have acquired a new and more serious significance from the doctor's Ivan Ilych now watched it dubious remarks. this dull gnawing ache that never ceased for a moment." And the doctor bowed. scientific phrases into plain language and find in them an answer to the question: "Is my condition bad? Is it very bad? Or is there as yet the meaning of what the doctor had said was that it was very bad. All the way home he was going over what the doctor obscure. were dismal. the passersby. with a new and 64 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' nothing much wrong?" LJ LWD had said." necessary and proper. Everything in the streets seemed depressing.

" And she went to get ready to go out." "Well. "Mind now medicine regularly. but in the middle of his account his daughter came in ready to go out with her mother. She sat down Give me the U\ He reached home and began to tell his wife ." she said. about it.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy oppressive feeling. and her mother too did not hear him to the end. after all. reluctantly to listen to this tedious story. but could not stand it long." he thought. which had been altered urine. but he sighed deeply when she left it. She listened. I am very glad. but then it 1D the doctor's after the examination of the happened that there was a contradiction between 65 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' While she was in the room Ivan Ilych had O/ LE UD with her hat on. "perhaps it isn't so bad He began taking his medicine and following directions. LJ LWD prescription and I'll send Gerasim to the chemist's. hardly taken time to breathe. to take your "Well.

and that he had either forgotten or blundered. but Ivan Ilych made efforts to force himself to think that he was 66 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ urine and the symptoms that showed themselves. and Ivan Ilych still obeyed his orders implicitly and at first derived some comfort from doing so. or hidden something from him. 1D The pain did not grow less. however. be blamed for that. He could not. or recoveries were mentioned in his presence. Ivan Ilych's chief occupation was the exact fulfillment of the doctor's instructions regarding hygiene and the taking of medicine. . especially when the illness resembled his own.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy the indications drawn from the examination of the It turned out that what was happening differed from what the doctor had told him. deaths. ODQ GD ' and his excretions. asked questions. and the observation of his pain people's ailments and people's health. he listened with agitation which he tried to hide. From the time of his visit to the doctor. His chief interest came to be When sickness. and applied what he heard to his own case.

But as soon long as nothing unpleasantness with his wife. or held bad cards at bridge. agitated And he could do this so him.. therefore to ignore unpleasant opposite 67 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' unpleasantness." LJ LWD And he was But he drew the very O/ LE UD furious with the U\ as he had any . adjust what was wrong. hoping soon success. he to was at once acutely sensible of his disease.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy better. comes this accursed misfortune. any lack of success in his official work. for he felt that this fury was clear killing him but he could not restrain it. him that this exasperation with One would have thought that it should have been to circumstances and people aggravated his illness. and that he ought occurrences. to master it and attain But now every mischance upset him and plunged him into despair.. or make a grand slam. or mishap. just as I was beginning to get better and the medicine had begun to take effect. He had formerly borne such mischances. He would say to himself: "there now. or with the people who were causing the unpleasantness and killing him.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy conclusion: he said that he needed peace. and even very rapidly. That month he went to see another LJ LWD he consulted the doctors it seemed to him that he Yet had done but put his questions rather ODQ GD ' celebrity. his questions and suppositions A homeopathist diagnosed the disease in 68 1D bewildered Ivan Ilych still more and increased his doubts.the difference was so slight. and he became irritable at the slightest infringement of it. diagnosed his illness again quite differently from the others. But when was getting worse. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library O/ LE UD U\ watched for everything that might disturb it and . The progress of his disease was so gradual that he could deceive himself when comparing one day with another -. and though he predicted recovery. A friend of a friend of his. and the interview with this celebrity only increased Ivan Ilych's doubts and fears. despite this he was continually consulting them. His condition was rendered worse by the fact that he read medical books and consulted doctors. a very good doctor. who told him almost the same as the first differently.

and prescribed medicine which week. he became still more despondent. But after a . Now it's all That is what I will treatment. and then we shall From now there must be no more of this wavering!" this was easy to say but impossible to 1D carry out. The pain in his side oppressed him and seemed to grow worse and more incessant. confidence both in the former doctor's treatment caught himself listening attentively and beginning to him. rubbish. One day a lady acquaintance mentioned a cure effected by a wonder-working icon. LJ LWD believe that it had occurred. "Has my mind really extent?" he asked himself. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 69 ODQ GD ' having chosen I won't think about it. not feeling any improvement and having lost and in this one's. see. treatment seriously till summer. but will follow the O/ LE UD U\ Ivan Ilych Ivan Ilych took secretly for a week. settled.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy yet another way. This incident alarmed weakened to such an "Nonsense! It's all I mustn't give way to nervous fears but a doctor must keep strictly to his do. while the taste in his mouth grew stranger and stranger.

did not understand anything of it and were as if he were to blame for it. but thought usual. can't do as other people do. especially his wife and daughter who were in a perfect whirl of visiting. was taking place within him of which he alone was aware. and keep to the treatment One day he'll take 70 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' annoyed that he was so depressed and so exacting. Her attitude was this: "You 1D know. There was no deceiving himself: something terrible. and more important than anything before in his life. He saw that his household. everything in the world was going on as That tormented Ivan Ilych more than anything. new.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy It seemed to him that his breath had a disgusting and strength. LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ smell." she would say to her friends. prescribed for him. Though they tried to disguise it he saw that he was an obstacle in their path. Those about him did not understand or would not understand it. and that his wife had adopted a definite line in regard to his illness and kept to it regardless of "Ivan Ilych anything he said or did. and he was conscious of a loss of appetite .

a strange attitude towards 71 ilych felt that this opinion escaped her involuntarily 1D thought he E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD "And yesterday with shebek. even if I hadn't stayed up. eat sturgeon -which is forbidden -." O/ LE UD U\ in good time. Ivanovich's. but will always make us wretched. when was that?" Ivan Ilych would ask in vexation." "Be that as it may you'll never get well like ODQ GD ' Praskovya that. Ivan Ilych noticed. -." "Only once at Peter one o'clock in the morning. but the next day unless I watch him . as she expressed it both to others Ivan and to him.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy his drops and keep strictly to his diet and go to bed he'll suddenly forget his medicine.but that did not make it easier for him. come." "Well. was that it was his own fault and was another of the annoyances he caused her. this pain would have kept me awake. At the law courts too. or noticed.and sit up playing cards till "Oh." Fedorovna's attitude to Ivan Ilych's illness.

as if the awful. bending the new cards LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ were watching him inquisitively as a man whose . incessantly gnawing at him and irresistibly drawing him away. horrible.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy himself. was a very agreeable subject for jests. vivacity. his friends would suddenly begin to chaff him in a friendly way about his low spirits. It sometimes seemed to him that people place might soon be vacant. 1D But suddenly Ivan Ilych was conscious of that gnawing pain. His partner said "No trumps" and supported him with two diamonds. Then again. and it such circumstances he 72 seemed ridiculous that in E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' down to cards. They dealt. They would make a Schwartz in particular irritated him by his jocularity. and he sorted the diamonds in his hand and found he had seven. wished for? It ought to be grand slam. which reminded him of what he himself had been ten years ago. that taste in his mouth. and unheard-of thing that was going on within him. What more could be jolly and lively. and *savoir-faire*. Friends came to make up a set and they sat to soften them.

missing the grand slam by three tricks. They all saw that he was suffering." Lie "We can stop if down? No. who rapped the table with his strong hand and instead of snatching up the tricks pushed the cards courteously and indulgently towards Ivan Ilych that he might have the pleasure of gathering them up without the trouble of stretching out his hand for them. Mikhaylovich. ODQ GD ' how upset Mikhail Mikhaylovich was about it but did LJ LWD stretch out my arm?" thought Ivan Ilych.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy should be pleased to make a grand slam. and felt that he had diffused this gloom over them and could They had supper and went 73 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library O/ LE UD U\ Ivan Ilych He looked at his partner Mikhail . and he finished 1D the rubber. he was not at all tired. and said: you are tired. not dispel it. saw And what was most awful of all was that he not himself care. And it was dreadful to realize why he did not care. All were gloomy and silent. "Does he think I am too weak to forgetting what he was doing he over-trumped his partner. Take a rest.

or if he did not go out. often to lie awake the greater part of the night. Next morning he had to get up again. weaken but penetrated more and more With this consciousness. And he had to live thus all one who understood or pitied him. speak. and that this poison did not deeply into his whole being. go to the law courts. spend at home those twenty-four hours a day each of which was a torture. and write. 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' alone on the brink of an abyss.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy away. with no LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ 74 consciousness that his life was poisoned and was . dress. and with physical pain besides the terror. he must go to bed. and Ivan Ilych was left alone with the poisoning the lives of others.

utter an That stare told Ivan Ilych surprise but checked himself. His brother-in-law opened his mouth to exclamation of LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ Just . "I have changed. Praskovya 1D brother-in-law to return to the subject of his looks. He raised his head on hearing Ivan Ilych's footsteps and looked up at him for a moment without a word. the latter would say nothing Fedorovna came home and her brother went out to 75 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' everything. eh?" "Yes. florid man -. Year his brother-in-law came to Ivan Ilych was at the law courts and Praskovya Fedorovna had gone shopping. try as he would to get his about it.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy V So one month passed and then another.a portmanteau healthy.unpacking his himself. When Ivan Ilych came home and entered his study he found his brother-in-law there -. there is a change. before the New town and stayed at their house. and that action confirmed it all." And after that.

The door leading to the drawingapproached it on tiptoe and exaggerating!" Praskovya Fedorovna was saying. drew the sleeves down again. listened. "No. this won't do!" he said to himself. and jumped up. he's 1D a dead man! Look at his eyes -. He unlocked the door and went into the room was shut.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy her.there's no life in knows. and compared it with what he saw in the glass. "No. no. then in . The change in him was immense. first full face. Then he bared his arms to the elbow. "Exaggerating! Don't you see it? Why. and grew blacker than night. but could not continue. Ivan Ilych locked to door and began to profile. Nikolaevich [that was 76 them. took up some O/ LE UD U\ examine himself in the glass. But what is it that is wrong with him?" E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD went to the table. law papers and began to read them. looked at them. ODQ GD ' He you are "No one reception-room. He took up a portrait of himself taken with his wife. sat down on an ottoman.

] He rang. 1D together they went to see his friend. and He looked morosely at her." He went to see Peter Ivanovich. "Where are you going. and Ivan Ilych had a long talk with him. catch that kidney and arrest it and support it. went to his own room. "I must go to see Peter Ivanovich. and began musing. He was in. Jean?" asked his wife LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ what. it seemed to him. And by an effort of imagination he tried to little was needed for this. 77 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' ordered the carriage. "The kidney.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy another doctor] said something. "No. but I don't know specialist] said quite the contrary." Ivan Ilych walked away.. I'll go to see Peter Ivanovich again. lay down. This exceptionally kind look irritated him. a floating kidney.. and got ready to go. So with a specially sad and exceptionally kind look." [That was the friend whose friend was a doctor." He recalled all the doctors had told him of how it detached itself and swayed about. the doctor. And Seshchetitsky [this was the celebrated .

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy Reviewing the anatomical and physiological inside him. in the It might all come right.an important. U\ details of what in the doctor's opinion was going on . but could not for rather late for dinner. and went to the drawing-room for tea. There was something. then absorption would take place and everything would come right. 1D give himself up to it. There were callers there. vermiform appendix. he went to his study and did what was something aside -. ate his dinner. Only and check the He got home stimulate the energy of one organ activity of another. including the magistrate who was a desirable match 78 examining E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library O/ LE UD a long time bring At last. ODQ GD ' necessary. a small thing. cheerfully. he understood it all. When he had finished his work he remembered that this intimate matter was the But he did not thought of his vermiform appendix. LJ LWD however. but the consciousness that he had put intimate matter which he would revert to when his work was done -never left him. and conversed himself to go back to work in his room.

"Yes. but instead of reading it he fell into thought. "One need only assist nature. took it. that's it!" he said to himself." He began touching his side: 79 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' and action of the medicine and for it to LJ LWD O/ LE UD a novel by U\ the piano. his study. much better. evacuation and There was the the re- establishment of normal activity. I am already feeling better. Ivan Ilych. that's all. but he never for a moment At eleven o'clock he said forgot that he had postponed the important matter appendix. and they were conversing. the and lay down on his back watching for beneficent 1D lessen the pain." He remembered his medicine. spent that evening more cheerfully of the than usual. and in his imagination that desired improvement in the vermiform absorption appendix occurred. rose. as Praskovya . and singing. goodnight and went to his bedroom. playing Fedorovna remarked.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy for his daughter. He undressed and took up Since his illness he had slept alone in a small room next to Zola. "I need only take it regularly and avoid all injurious influences.

. weeks." he felt the old. darkness. "There. but of life and. It's much better already.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy it was not painful to the touch. U\ Suddenly don't feel it. going and I Yes. his breathing Where?" A ceased.. "The appendix is getting better. There was the same familiar loathsome taste in his mouth. life was there cannot stop it.. "It's not a question of appendix or and now it is going. familiar. quite suddenly the matter presented itself in a different aspect. again! His heart sand and And My God!" he muttered. Why deceive myself? ODQ GD ' kidney. Yes. I really the light and turned on his side ." He put out . he felt dazed.. absorption is occurring. and that it's only a question of moment.death. and he felt only the throbbing of his heart." O/ LE UD dull. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 80 LJ LWD will never cease. Isn't it obvious to everyone but me that I'm dying. "My God! And it "Again. days. stubborn and serious.. "Vermiform appendix! Kidney!" he said to himself. gnawing pain.it may happen this there is There was light and now 1D I was here and now I'm going there! chill came over him..

I must calm 81 He raised himself. "What's the use? the darkness." through the door the distant sound of a song and they will die too! Fools! I first. and they have no Now they are playing.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy "When I am not. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ will be nothing.the beasts!" And now they are unbearably miserable. but Anger choked him and he was agonizingly. And none of (He heard he said to himself. dropped candle and candlestick on the floor. It makes no difference. pity for me. "It is impossible that all 1D men have been doomed to suffer this awful horror!" "Something must be wrong. felt for it with trembling hands. Then where shall I be when I am . I don't want to!" He jumped up and tried to light the candle. what will there be? There no more? Can this be dying? No. and they later.) "It's all the same to them..." Yes. "Death. staring with wide-open eyes into them knows or wishes to know it. and fell back on his pillow. merry. ODQ GD ' its accompaniment. but it will be the same for them. death.

She 82 And he again began thinking. and all the while here is death! Can it really be death?" Again terror seized began feeling for elbow on the stand beside the bed. he grew furious with it. the beginning . U\ leaving. then followed more doctors. on it still harder. He leant down and the matches. ODQ GD ' Meanwhile the him and he gasped for breath. Praskovya Fedorovna was E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library O/ LE UD were seeing them off. "Yes.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy myself -. pressed Breathless and in despair he fell on his back. and I My strength grew less and I kept coming nearer and nearer. despondency and anguish." of my illness: I knocked my side. pressing with his It was in his way and hurt him. then rather more. expecting death to come 1D immediately. I saw the doctors. It hurt a little. drew nearer to the abyss. but I was still quite well that day and the next. and now I I think of the appendix -. and upset it. LJ LWD visitors have wasted away and there is no light in my eyes.but this is death! I think of mending the appendix.must think it all over from the beginning.

and hurried When she came back he still lay on his back. I think we must ask 1D Leshchetitsky to come and see you here.. heavily. like a man who has upwards at her run a thousand yards. "Do you know. "Nothing.. looking upwards." She shook her head and sat down. I knocked it over accidentally. LJ LWD "No.o. "What is it? Do you feel worse?" "Yes..thing." This meant calling in the famous specialist. He smiled malignantly and 83 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' away to see another visitor off." He lay there panting with a fixed look." he thought. Jean. "What is it. regardless of expense. She lit his candle.. I upset it. picked up the stand.) And in truth she did not understand." ("Why speak of O/ LE UD U\ "What has happened?" .Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy heard something fall and came in. Jean?" She went out and returned with a candle. and stared it? She won't understand.

" 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' LJ LWD 84 O/ LE UD soul and with difficulty U\ went up to him and kissed his forehead.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy said "No. "Yes. Please God you'll sleep." She remained a little longer and then While she was kissing him he hated her from the bottom of his refrained from pushing her away. ." "Good night.

quite separate from all others. but certainly not as applied to himself. with the toys." had always seemed to him correct as applied to Caius. ODQ GD ' joys. but not only was he not accustomed to the thought. man in the abstract -. men are mortal. a Katenka of griefs.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy VI Ivan Ilych saw that he was dying. with a mamma and a papa. therefore Caius is mortal. was perfectly What did Caius U\ . and youth. That Caius -- correct. but a creature quite. with Mitya and and will all the Volodya. In the depth of his heart he knew he was dying. The syllogism he had learnt from Kiesewetter's Logic: "Caius is a man. but he was not Caius. He had been little Vanya. and delights coachman and a nurse. he simply did not and could not grasp it. not an abstract man. afterwards with 1D childhood. LJ LWD know of the smell of that striped leather ball Vanya E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 85 O/ LE UD mortal.was boyhood. and he was in continual despair.

but for me. It cannot be that I ought to die. He could not understand it. and tried to LJ LWD An inner voice would have told O/ LE UD U\ mother's hand like that. "It can't be. and it was right for him to die. It's impossible! But here it is. Such was his feeling. but there was nothing of the sort in me and I and all my friends felt that our case was quite different from that of Caius. and did the silk of her dress . incorrect. Ivan Ilych. little Vanya. with all my thoughts and emotions.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy had been so fond of? rustle so for Caius? Had Caius kissed his Had he rioted like that at school when the pastry was bad? Had Caius been in love like that? Could Caius preside at a session as he did? "Caius really was mortal. and now here it is!" he said to himself." different matter. How is this? How is one to understand it?" 1D drive this false. morbid thought away and E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 86 ODQ GD ' known it was so. "If I had to die like Caius I would have me so. it's altogether a That would be too terrible.

all his consciousness of effect. reality itself. and destroyed Ivan Ilych now spent most of his to himself: LJ LWD death. that had formerly shut off.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy to replace it by other proper and healthy thoughts. hidden." banishing all doubts he would go to the law courts. and then E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 87 1D O/ LE UD U\ But that thought. no longer had that time in He And attempting to re-establish that old current. But strange to say. scanning the crowd with a thoughtful look and leaning both his emaciated arms on the arms of his oak chair.after all I used to ODQ GD ' would say "I will take up my duties live by them. bending over as usual to a colleague and drawing his papers nearer he would interchange whispers with him. and sit carelessly as was his wont. seemed to come and confront him. again -. and not the thought only but the . He tried to get back into the former current of thoughts that had once screened the thought of death from him. And to replace that thought he called up a succession of others. hoping to find in them some support. enter into conversation with his colleagues.

*It* would come and stand before the light would true. and he would would again begin asking himself whether *It* alone was And his colleagues and subordinates making mistakes. manage somehow to sorrowful ODQ GD ' see with surprise and distress that he. the brilliant subtle judge. regardless of the stage the without success. and return home with the consciousness that his judicial labours from him what he could not as formerly hide 1D wanted them to hide. and could not deliver him from *It*. and die out of his eyes. pull himself together. try to bring the sitting to a close. and he would be petrified and O/ LE UD of it away. was becoming confused and He would shake himself. but U\ pronounce certain words and open the proceedings. would begin its own gnawing work. Ivan Ilych would turn his attention to it and try to drive the thought pain in his side. . And what was worst of all was that *It* 88 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD him and look at him.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy suddenly raising his eyes and sitting erect would But suddenly in the midst of those proceedings the proceedings had reached.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy drew his attention to itself not in order to make him *It*. He would look for the cause of this and find that it was ornamentation of an album.and new screens were found and for a while seemed to save him. and feel vexed with his daughter E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 89 1D ODQ GD ' room where he had fallen and for the sake of which LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ take some action but only that he should look at . that had got bent. suffer inexpressibly. as if *It* penetrated In these latter days he would go into the arranged -.for he knew that his illness originated with that knock. but then they immediately fell to pieces them and nothing could veil *It*. And to save himself from this condition Ivan Ilych looked for consolations -. look it straight in the face: look at it and without doing anything. drawing-room he had or rather became transparent.that drawing- (how bitterly ridiculous it seemed) he had sacrificed his life -. He would enter and see that something the bronze had scratched the polished table. He would take up the expensive album which he had lovingly arranged.new screens -.

for the album photographs turned upside down. near the plants. But that was all right. Then it would occur to him to place all those things in another corner of the room. He would put it carefully in order and bend the ornamentation back into position. It was just a flash. gnawing just the same!" could 1D And he could no longer forget *It*. but distinctly see it looking at him from behind the E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 90 ODQ GD ' But then. *It* was invisible. They daughter or wife would and he would dispute and grow angry.. "It sits there as before. his wife would say: "Let the servants do it.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy and her friends for their untidiness . You will hurt yourself again. but his come to help him. and he hoped it would disappear. He would call the footman. for then he did not think about *It*. when he was moving something LJ LWD would not agree." And suddenly *It* would flash through the screen and he would see it. and his wife would contradict him. O/ LE UD U\ was torn here and there and some of the . himself. but he would involuntarily pay attention to his side.

can't be true! It can't. but it is." again be alone with at it and shudder. It He would go to his study. Is that possible? How terrible and how stupid. And nothing could be done with *It* except to look 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' LJ LWD 91 O/ LE UD U\ "It really is so! I lost my life over that . lie down.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy flowers. "What is it all for?" curtain as I might have done when storming a fort. and *It*: face to face with *It*.

Special foods were prepared for him by the 92 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' He slept less and less. were aware whether he would soon vacate his place. his acquaintances. and at last release the living from the discomfort caused by his presence sufferings. his son. third month of Ivan Ilych's daughter. He was given opium LJ LWD that the whole interest he had for other people was O/ LE UD U\ VII . and be himself released from his and hypodermic injections of morphine. his wife. his doctors. and above all he himself. the the servants. but this did not relieve him. but only as something new.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy How it happened it is impossible to say because it came about step by step. unnoticed. afterwards it became as distressing as the pain 1D itself or even more so. The dull depression he experienced in a somnolent condition at first gave him a little relief. but in the illness.

always the things out. But just through his most unpleasant and this was a torment to him butler's young assistant. the unseemliness. and from knowing that another person had to take part in it. Once when he got up from the commode to trousers.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy doctors' orders.a torment from the uncleanliness. . in his clean costume. At first the sight of him. Gerasim was a clean. sharply the muscles so weak to draw up his enfeebled thighs soft armchair and looked with horror at 1D marked on them. his heavy 93 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD with matter. every time -. Gerasim with a firm light tread. grown stout on town food and always cheerful Russian ODQ GD ' peasant and bright. and the smell. engaged on that disgusting task embarrassed Ivan Ilych. Gerasim. but all those foods became For his excretions also special arrangements had to be made. fresh peasant lad. he dropped into a his bare. Ivan Ilych obtained comfort. the came in to carry O/ LE UD U\ increasingly distasteful and disgusting to him.

he went up to the commode. LJ LWD I am helpless. why. You "Oh. and restraining the joy of life that beamed from his face. have committed movement turned his fresh. and with a rapid simple young face which just showed the first downy signs of a must forgive me. and he showed his glistening white teeth. kind. sir. ." And his hands did their accustomed task. "That must be very unpleasant for you. came in wearing a clean Hessian apron. "what's a 1D little trouble? It's a case of illness with you. and he went out of the room 94 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' "Yes." and Gerasim's eyes beamed O/ LE UD U\ winter air. sir?" beard. sir." deft strong "Gerasim started. evidently afraid he might some blunder. "Gerasim!" said Ivan Ilych in a weak voice.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy boots emitting a pleasant smell of tar and fresh the sleeves of his print shirt tucked up over his at his sick master out of consideration for his strong bare young arms. and refraining from looking feelings.

grasped his master with his strong arms deftly but gently. but Ivan Ilych asked to be led to the sofa. all!" apparent pressure. "Please come here and help me. led him. almost lifting him. without an effort and without him on it." he said when the latter had replaced the freshly. to the sofa and placed "That you." trousers and would have set him down again. Gerasim. "Lift me up. "Gerasim. returned. in the same way that he stepped -. How easily and well you do it 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' with one hand. five minutes later he as lightly Ivan Ilych was still sitting in the same position in the armchair.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy stepping lightly. It is hard for me to get up.washed utensil. supported him Dmitri away.lifted him. and I have sent Gerasim went up to him. and with the other drew up his Gerasim smiled again and turned to leave 95 LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ ." Gerasim went up to him.

me when my feet are raised. the other one -. "Gerasim. felt better while "It's better when my legs are higher. and raised Ivan Ilych's legs on it.under my feet. set it down gently in place. please move up that chair. It seemed to Ivan Ilych that he Gerasim was holding up his legs." said Gerasim." he said. . He again lifted the legs and Gerasim held his legs." No. who had townsfolk how to speak to learnt from 1D gentlefolk. "Place that cushion under them. and again Ivan Ilych felt better while When he set them down Ivan Ilych fancied he felt worse. "What have you still to do?" "What have I to do? I've done everything 96 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ comfort that he did not want to let him go. But Ivan Ilych felt his presence such a "One thing more. sir." Gerasim did so.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy the room. "Are you busy now?" "Not at all. ODQ GD ' the placed them. It is easier for Gerasim brought the chair." he said.

Why not?" and Gerasim legs higher and Ivan Ilych feel any thought that in that position he did not "And how about the logs?" plenty of time. Gerasim and get him ODQ GD ' say it seemed to him that he After that Ivan Ilych would sometimes call to hold his legs on his Gerasim did shoulders." you?" raised his master's pain at all. sir. "Of course I can. simply. strength. it all easily. can . and with a good 1D and vitality in other people were offensive to him. willingly. And strange to Gerasim held his legs up. nature that touched Ivan Ilych." Ivan Ilych told Gerasim to sit down and hold his legs. and he liked talking to him. and began to talk to him.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy except chopping the logs for tomorrow. O/ LE UD felt better while Health. U\ There's "Then hold my legs up a bit higher. but Gerasim's strength and vitality did not mortify E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 97 LJ LWD "Don't trouble about that.

and wishing and forcing him over him on the eve of his death and destined to degrade this awful. which for some reason they all accepted. Those lies -. but wanting to lie to him concerning his terrible condition. solemn act to the level of their visitings. And strangely enough. that he was not dying but was simply ill.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy but soothed him. many times when they were going through their antics over him he had been within a suffering and death. Then at least 98 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' to participate in that lie. deception. their sturgeon for dinner -were a terrible agony for Ivan Ilych. their curtains. He however knew that do what they would nothing would come of it. only still more agonizing their not wishing to admit what they all knew and what he knew. and the only need keep quiet and undergo a treatment and then something very good would result.lies enacted LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ What tormented Ivan Ilych most was the . the lie. This deception tortured him -- 1D hairbreadth of calling out to them: "Stop lying! You know and I know that I am dying.

why sick it would be another matter. he could see. and almost entered a indecorous incident (as if someone drawing room defusing an unpleasant odour) and this was done by that very decorum which he had served all his life long. Only Gerasim recognized it and pitied him. everything showed that he alone understood the facts of the case and did not consider it necessary to disguise them.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy stop lying about it!" But he had never had the was. because no one even wished to position. He felt comforted when Gerasim supported his legs bed. but simply felt sorry for E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 99 ODQ GD ' (sometimes all night long) and LJ LWD O/ LE UD refused to go to U\ spirit to do it. but as should I grudge a little trouble?" Gerasim alone did 1D not lie. reduced by those about him to the level of a casual. terrible act of his dying . He saw that no one felt for grasp his him. Ivan Ilych. The awful. saying: "Don't you worry. I'll get sleep enough later on." or when he suddenly became familiar and exclaimed: "If you weren't it is. And so Ivan Ilych felt at ease only with him. unpleasant.

Ivan Ilych wanted to weep. but still he longed for it.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy his emaciated and enfeebled master. wanted to be petted and cried over. He comforted. straight out: Once when "We shall all of us die. and then his 100 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD most tormented Ivan Ilych was that no one pitied At certain moments O/ LE UD U\ Ivan Ilych was sending him away he even said . or because of it. he knew he was an important functionary. what him as he wished to be pitied. so why should I grudge a little trouble?" -. because he was doing it for a dying man and hoped someone would do the same for him when his time came. and that therefore what he long for was impossible. and so that attitude comforted him. Apart from this lying. that he had a beard turning grey. attitude towards him and in was Gerasim's there 1D something akin to what he wished for. after prolonged suffering he wished most of all (though he would have been ashamed to confess it) longed to be petted and ODQ GD ' for someone to pity him as a sick child is pitied.expressing the fact that he did not think his work burdensome.

and profound air. and by force of Court of Cassation and habit would express his opinion on a decision of the would stubbornly insist on that view. severe.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy colleague Shebek would come. Ivan Ilych would assume . and instead of a serious. This falsity around him and within him did more than anything else to poison his last days. 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' LJ LWD 101 O/ LE UD U\ weeping and being petted.

the consciousness of life inexorably waning but not yet extinguished. case? and hateful Death the gentlefolk to drink tea in the morning." "Wouldn't you like to move onto the sofa. weeks. O/ LE UD U\ 102 . and begun quietly to tidy up. drawn back one of the curtains. made no difference. in such a "Will you have some tea. sir?" E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' which was the only reality. it never ceasing for an instant. Whether it same: was morning or evening. Friday or was all just the Sunday. and only said "No. He knew it was morning because Gerasim had gone. the approach of that ever dreaded falsity. agonizing pain. and wishes LJ LWD the gnawing.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy VIII It was morning. and always the same What were days." thought 1D ivan Ilych. sir?" "He wants things to be regular. hours. unmitigated. and Peter the footman had come and put out the candles.

"What is it. but Ivan Ilych alone." hand.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy "He wants to tidy up the room. "How can I keep him 103 dreaded being left E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ the way. there's no need to. The man went on bustling about. Shall "No. except Vladimir Ivanovich" (the son) school. leave me alone. Ivan Ilych Peter came up. Are they up?" "who has gone to I do so?" ODQ GD ' "No sir. Praskovya Fedorovna ordered me to wake her if you asked for her." 1D "Yes. sir?" "My watch." he . I am uncleanliness and disorder. and added aloud: have some tea." stretched out his help. bring me some tea. "Half-past eight." "Perhaps I's better he thought. and said only: "No." Peter went to the door. and I'm in thought. ready to Peter took the watch which was close at hand and gave it to his master.

*what* would darkness?.. terrible thought Always and for O/ LE UD Left alone Ivan Ilych U\ medicine. If only it would come quicker! come quicker? If only Death. my medicine. LJ LWD with pain. why this pain? If it would only cease just for a moment!" Go and fetch me some tea.No. groaned not so much And he moaned. as from mental anguish. "It's all right. decided as soon as he It's all tomfoolery." "Why not? Perhaps it may still do some ." He took a spoonful and swallowed it. Peter was 104 1D Ivan Ilych stared not realizing who and what he was.. Peter turned towards him. "No. no! anything rather than death! When Peter returned with the tea on a tray." he became aware of the familiar." "Peter. sickly. "No.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy here? Oh yes. give me my good. it won't help. But the pain. at him for a time in perplexity. I can't believe in it any longer. ever the same. hopeless taste. always these endless days and nights. all deception." Peter went out. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' that was.

but as soon as he began to drink the tea he was again aware of the same taste. especially forehead." for rest. tea! All right. he washed And Ivan Ilych began to wash. Always the same. . While his shirt was being changed he knew that he would be still more frightened at the sight was ready. With pauses his hands and then his face. He drew on a dressing-gown. and dismissed Peter. He was terrified by what he saw. Now a spark of hope 105 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' of his body. and the pain also returned. Only help me to wash and put on a clean shirt. looked in the cleaned his teeth. and sat down in the armchair to take his tea. Finally he LJ LWD by the limp way in which his hair clung to his pallid O/ LE UD U\ brought Ivan Ilych to himself. put it down. For a moment he felt refreshed. glass. so he avoided looking at it. He finished it with an effort.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy disconcerted by that look and his embarrassment "Oh. brushed his hair. and then lay down stretching out his legs. wrapped himself in a plaid.

but he has put it on once for all in the morning to pay a round of calls. now there is a ring at the door bell.like a man who has put on a frock-coat 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' plump. 106 take it off -. to go on like this. consciousness. and always same. the doctor. but we'll arrange it all for you directly!" The doctor knows this expression is out of place and can't here. hearty. But An hour and another pass like that. U\ and pain. and cheerful. and always the . but he knew lose beforehand that with others present it would be still "Another dose of morphine--to think of something else.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy flashes up. I will tell him. The doctor rubs his hands vigorously and reassuringly. the doctor? It is. When alone he had a dreadful distressing worse. then a sea of despair rages. always despair. you're in a panic about something." seems to say: "There now. that he It's impossible. must desire to call someone. always pain. He comes in LJ LWD impossible. with that look on his face that O/ LE UD Perhaps it's fresh.

how are our affairs?" but that even he feels that this would not do. Even particular. just let me warm myself!" he says. If only pain never leaves me and never subsides.. you sick people are always like that. and says instead: "What sort of a night have you had?" Ivan Ilych looks at him as much as to say: "Are you really never ashamed of lying?" But the doctor does not wish to understand this question.. "Well now.. how are you?" Ivan Ilych feels that the doctor would like to say: "Well. could Praskovya Fedorovna. Well. think I am warm enough. and then he would put everything right.. as if it . now I ODQ GD ' and Ivan Ilych says: "Just as terrible as ever. now I can say good-morning. " There. something . E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 107 LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ frost.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy "Brr! How cold it is! There's such a sharp were only a matter of waiting till he was warm. who is so 1D find no fault with my temperature. The "Yes." and the doctor presses his patient's hand..

he patient. and at LJ LWD over him. leans and performs various gymnastic movements over him with a significant expression on his face.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy Then dropping his former playfulness. Ivan Ilych submits to it all as he used to submit to the that they were all lying and why they were lying. and then begins the sounding and auscultation. feeling his pulse and taking temperature. that all this is Ivan Ilych knows quite well and definitely nonsense and pure deception. The doctor. though he knew very well She comes in. putting his ear first higher then lower. is still Praskovya Fedorovna's silk sounding him when dress rustles at the door and she is heard scolding Peter for not having let her know of the doctor's arrival. kneeling on the sofa. but when the doctor. getting down on his knee. kisses her husband. O/ LE UD U\ his begins with a most serious face to examine the . 1D once proceeds to prove that she has been up a long 108 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' speeches of the lawyers.

" 109 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' abandon. still the same. so had she formed one towards him -- "You see he doesn't listen to me and doesn't LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ failed to be there when the doctor arrived. and only owing to a misunderstanding Ivan Ilych looks at her. could not now change 1D take his medicine at the proper time. sets against her the whiteness and plumpness and cleanness of her hands and neck. And above all he lies in a position that is no doubt bad for him -with his legs up. scans her all over. .Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy time already. and that she reproached him lovingly for this -. and the sparkle of her vivacious eyes. hates her with his whole soul. the gloss of her hair. touch.and she that attitude. He And the thrill of hatred he feels for her makes him suffer from her Her attitude towards him and his diseases is Just as the doctor had adopted a which he could not certain relation to his patient that he was not doing something he ought to do and was himself to blame.

Michael Danilovich (their regular announced to Ivan Ilych that it was of course as he doing this for my own ODQ GD ' "Please don't raise any objections. letting it be felt that she was doing it all for his sake and only said this to leave him no right to refuse. and then Praskovya Fedorovna pleased. He remained silent. knitting his brows. . but we When the examination was over the doctor looked at his watch.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy She described how he made Gerasim hold The doctor smiled with a contemptuous affability that said: must forgive them. Everything she did for him was entirely for 110 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ his legs up. I am sake. He felt that he was surrounded and involved in a mesh of falsity that it was hard to unravel anything. but she had sent today for a celebrated specialist who would examine him and have a consultation with doctor)." she said ironically." "What's to be done? These sick people do have foolish fancies of that kind.

and in Ilych. with such an air of O/ LE UD U\ herself what she actually was doing for herself. put to him as to whether there was a chance of recovery. said that he could not vouch for it but there was a possibility. 111 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' which were not behaving as they ought to and LJ LWD and the questions and answers. instead of the real question of life and death which now alone confronted him. about the kidneys and the appendix. The celebrated specialist took leave of him though not hopeless look. as if . with eyes with a serious reply to the timid question Ivan 1D glistening with fear and hope. the question arose of the kidney and appendix would now be attached by Michael Danilovich and the specialist and forced to amend their ways. importance that again. Again At half-past eleven the celebrated specialist the sounding began and the presence and in significant conversations in his another room.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy her own sake. and she told him she was doing for that was so incredible that he must understand the opposite. arrived.

She had reminded Fedorovna came into They suffering body. tea with difficulty. After dinner. even wept as she left the room to hand the doctor his fee. and Ivan Ilych began to moan. and with 1D traces of powder on her face. the same pictures. It was twilight when he came to.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy The look of hope with which Ivan Ilych watched the Fedorovna. him in the morning that they were going to the theatre. medicine bottles. seeing it.paper. at seven o'clock. were all there. The same room. The gleam of hope kindled by the doctor's encouragement did not last long. and then everything same again and night was coming on. Praskovya the room in evening dress. and the same aching gave him a subcutaneous injection and he sank into oblivion. curtains. They ODQ GD ' brought him his dinner and he swallowed some beef was the her full bosom pushed up by her corset. Sarah Bernhardt was visiting the town and 112 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ doctor out was so pathetic that Praskovya . wall.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy they had a box. only for the it. knowing that there was nothing to learn -. as he sake of asking and not in order to learn about LJ LWD but yet with a rather guilty air. which he had insisted on their offended him. but he concealed his vexation when he remembered that an instructive and he had himself insisted on aesthetic pleasure for the their securing a box and going because it would be children. She sat down and saw.and then would not on any account have gone but that the box had been taken and Helen and their daughter were going. but that she would have much preferred to sit with him for a while. Now he had forgotten about it and her toilet . as well as Petrishchev (the examining magistrate. self-satisfied asked how he was. and he must be sure to follow the doctor's orders while she was away. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 113 1D ODQ GD ' went on to what she really wanted to say: that she O/ LE UD U\ taking. their daughter's fiance) and that it was out of the question to let them go alone. but. Praskovya Fedorovna came in.

He had one white glove tightly drawn on. his hair curled *a la Capoul*. suffering. in evening dress. poor little fellow. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 114 LJ LWD Terribly dark O/ LE UD shadows showed U\ "would like to come in. in a new uniform. her fresh young flesh exposed (making a show of that very flesh which in his own case caused so much suffering). strong. evidently in love. a tight stiff enormous collar round his long sinewy neck. stretched over his strong thighs.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy "Oh. ODQ GD ' white shirt-front and narrow black trousers tightly under his eyes. and death. and 1D wearing gloves." Their daughter came in in full evening dress. healthy. the meaning of which Ivan Ilych knew well. and impatient with illness. an because they interfered with her happiness. Fedor petrovich came in too. Following him the schoolboy crept in unnoticed. and was holding his opera hat in his hand. May he? And Lisa?" . and Fedor Petrovich" (the fiance) "All right.

in *Adrienne Lecouvreur*. This occasioned some unpleasantness. have you seen her before?" "Yes." Praskovya Fedorovna mentioned some roles Bernhardt was particularly good. as to the elegance and realism of her acting -. and there had taken them and where they had been put. Fedor Petrovich inquired of Ivan Ilych Ilych did not at first catch the ODQ GD ' whether he had ever seen Sarah Bernhardt. look of pity. A silence followed. was.the sort of conversation that is always repeated and is 115 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD altercation between mother and daughter as to who O/ LE UD U\ and now it was dreadful to see the boy's frightened . but then replied: "No. Ivan question. They all sat down and again asked how he Lisa asked her mother was an about the opera glasses. It seemed to Ivan Ilych that Vasya was the only one besides Gerasim who understood and pitied him.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy His son had always seemed pathetic to him. Conversation sprang up in which Sarah 1D Her daughter disagreed.

and went away. Ivan Ilych was staring with glittering eyes straight before him.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy always the same. She got up with a rustle of her dress. "Well. Petrovich glanced at Ivan Ilych and became silent. They all rose. evidently indignant with them. Lisa was the first to pluck up courage and break that silence. looking father. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD suddenly U\ 116 In the midst of the conversation Fedor . but for a time no one dared to conventional deception break it and they all became would afraid that the become obvious and the truth become plain to all. but it was impossible to do so. The silence had to be broken. a present from her significant smile at only Fedor Petrovich relating to something known 1D to them. The others also looked at him and grew silent. said good-night." she at her watch. and with a faint and ODQ GD ' but by trying to hide what everybody was feeling. This had to be rectified. she betrayed it. said. if we are going it's time to start.

question Peter asked. the falsity had gone with them. "Yes. nothing harder same fear that made everything monotonously and nothing easier. followed hour. Everything was worse. .Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy When they had gone it seemed to Ivan Ilych But the pain remained -. And the inevitable end of it all became more and more terrible. send Gerasim here.that same pain and that alike. Again minute followed minute and hour Everything remained the same and there was no cessation." he replied to a 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ 117 that he felt better.

fell. go away. he heard her. She went away.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy IX His wife returned late at night." "Are you in great pain?" "Always the same. was He was frightened yet accompanied by suffering." He agreed and took some." "Take some opium. terrible enough in itself. he struggled but yet co-operated. She came in on tiptoe. Till about three in the morning he was in a and his pain were being thrust into a narrow. and She wished to send Gerasim away and to sit with him herself. And this. consciousness. 1D wanted to fall through the sack. It seemed to him that he LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ . but made haste to close them again. but though they were pushed further and further in they could not be pushed to the bottom. deep black sack. but he opened his eyes and said: "No. opened his eyes. Gerasim was 118 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' state of stupefied misery. and regained And suddenly he broke through.

He only waited till Gerasim had gone into the next room and then restrained himself of his cruelty of man." he whispered. turned sideways legs from sorry for himself. while he himself lay with his emaciated ." "No. why dost Thou U\ Gerasim's patiently. Go away. and the absence of God. his terrible loneliness. "It's all right. the same shaded unceasing pain. and felt Why. "Why hast Thou done all this? Why hast Thou brought me here? ODQ GD ' no longer but wept like a child." He removed his shoulders. candle was there and the same "Go away. He wept on account helplessness. the 1D torment me so terribly?" He did not expect an answer and yet wept because there was no answer and could be none. the cruelty of God. Gerasim.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy sitting at the foot of the bed dozing quietly and stockinged legs resting on Gerasim's shoulders. I'll stay a while. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 119 LJ LWD O/ LE UD onto his arm. sir.

It was as though he were listening not to an audible voice but to the voice of his soul. "To live? How?" asked his inner voice. to the "What is it you want?" was the first clear conception capable of expression in words. but he did not stir Strike me! But what is it for? What have I done to Thee? What is it for?" weeping but even held Then he grew quiet and not only ceased his breath and became all attention. He said to himself: "Go on! . current of thoughts arising within him.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy The pain again grew more acute." he listened with such concentrated attention that 1D distract him. "Why.well and 120 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD even his pain did not U\ and did not call. that he heard. to live as I used to -. And ODQ GD ' again "What do you want? What do you want?" he "What do I want? To live and not to suffer. he answered. repeated to himself.

And the further he departed from childhood came to the present the more This began and the nearer he 1D worthless and doubtful were the joys. And in imagination he began to recall the best moments of his pleasant life. it produced the present Ivan Ilych. all that had then seemed joys now melted before his sight and turned into something trivial and often nasty. in childhood. well and pleasantly?" . A little that was really good 121 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' was like a reminiscence of somebody else. But strange to say none of those best moments of his pleasant life now seemed at all what they had then seemed -none of them except the first recollections of something really pleasant with which childhood. as soon as the period began which had LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ "As you lived before. But the child who had experienced that happiness existed no longer. there had been it would be possible to live if it could return. There. with the School of Law." the voice repeated.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy pleasantly.

and ten. and twenty. when he was in the service of the governor. But in the upper classes . And now it is all done and E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 122 1D ODQ GD ' breath and the sensuality and hypocrisy: then that life and those preoccupations about LJ LWD was good.there was light-heartedness. later on again there was still less that O/ LE UD U\ friendship. a year of it. then the disenchantment that followed it. "It is as if I had been going downhill while I imagined I was going up. And the longer it lasted the more deadly it became. a mere accident. and hope. and always the same thing. his wife's bad deadly official money.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy was still found there -. some pleasant moments again occurred: they were the memories of love for a woman. Then all became confused and there was still less of what was good. And that is really what it was. I was going up in public opinion. there had already been fewer of such good moments. but to the same extent life was ebbing away from me. and two. His marriage. and the further he went the less there was. Then during the first years of his official career.

But if it really and die in agony? There is something wrong! has been so horrible and senseless. the judge. But I am not guilty!" he "Here he is. exclaimed angrily. and immediately dismissed from his mind this. but turning his face to the wall continued to ponder on the same question: Why. "But how could that be. and for what purpose. the judge!" he repeated to himself. "What is it for?" And he ceased crying. "Then what do you want now? To live? Live usher proclaimed 'The judge is coming!' The judge is coming. when I did everything properly?" he replied." it suddenly occurred to him. why must I die "Maybe I did not live as I ought to have done.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy there is only death. the sole solution of all the riddles of life and death. is there all this horror? But however much he pondered he found no answer. as something quite impossible. And whenever 123 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' how? Live as you lived in the law courts when the LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ "Then what does it mean? Why? It can't be . that life is so senseless and horrible.

that it have done.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy the thought occurred to him. as it often did. 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' LJ LWD 124 O/ LE UD U\ of all resulted from his not having lived as he ought to . he at once recalled the correctness his whole life and dismissed so strange an idea.

Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' LJ LWD 125 O/ LE UD U\ .

and now hope and an intently interested 1D observation of the functioning of his organs." "Why these sufferings?" answered. Now before his eyes there was only a kidney or an 126 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' Beyond and besides this there was nothing. ever first been to see the doctor.they just are so.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy X Another fortnight passed. From the very beginning of his illness. Ivan O/ LE UD U\ ." since he had Ilych's life had been divided between two contrary and alternating moods: now it was despair and the expectation of this uncomprehended and terrible death. "For no LJ LWD is Death?" And the inner voice answered: "Yes. He suffered ever the same unceasing agonies his loneliness pondered always on and in same the insoluble question: "What is this? Can it be that it is Death. it And the voice reason -. Ivan Ilych now no longer left his sofa. facing the wall nearly all the time. He would not lie in bed but lay on the sofa.

either at the bottom of the sea or under the earth -. shattered. a loneliness in the midst of a surrounded by numerous populous town and acquaintances and relations but that yet could not have been more 1D complete anywhere . and the more real the sense of impending death.during that terrible loneliness Ivan ilych had lived only in memories of 127 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' Latterly during the loneliness in which he LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ only that incomprehensible and dreadful death from . He had but to call to mind what he had been three months before and what he was now. for every possibility had been going hope to be of found himself as he lay facing the back of the sofa. from the very These two states of mind had alternated beginning of his illness. to call to mind with what regularity he downhill.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy intestine that temporarily evaded its duty. but the doubtful and further it progressed the more fantastic became the conception of the kidney.. and now which it was impossible to escape.

. and their toys. his brother... they always began with what was . his thoughts dwelt on his childhood. his mind went back to the raw shrivelled French plums of his childhood." Ivan the present -.. If he thought of the stewed prunes that had been offered him that day.to his childhood -.to the button on the back of the sofa and the creases in its morocco..Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy the past. It was a different kind of quarrel and a different kind of morocco that time when we tore father's portfolio and were punished. Pictures of his past rose before him one nearest in time and then went back to what was most remote -. their peculiar flavour and the flow of saliva when he that taste came those days: his nurse. but it does not wear well: been a quarrel about it. and along with the memory of a whole series of memories of O/ LE UD U\ after another.It is too painful. "No." And again E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' Ilych said to himself. and again it 128 1D and mamma brought us some tarts. I mustn't thing of that.and rested there.. and brought himself back to LJ LWD sucked their stones. "Morocco is there had expensive.

. and afterwards and more rapidly -. grown There also the further back he looked the more of life itself.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy was painful and he tried to banish them and fix his Then again together with that chain of memories another series passed through his mind .of how his illness had progressed and worse. "Just as the pain getting worse and worse.the most terrible suffering. am flying." thought Ivan Ilych.. "There is one bright spot there at the back. . Life. flies further and further "I towards its end -. at the beginning of life." he thought. a series of increasing sufferings. but was already aware that 129 LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ mind on something else. shifted himself.. And the example of a stone falling downwards with increasing velocity entered his mind. There had been more of what was good in life and two merged together. The went on more life there had been." tried to 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' all becomes blacker and blacker and proceeds more He shuddered. so my life grew worse and worse. and resist.in inverse ration to the square of the distance from death.

"That at any rate can and propriety of his smiled ironically as if someone could see that smile and be taken in by it. death... "If I could only understand what it is all But that too is impossible. "There is no explanation! Agony.awaiting that dreadful fall and shock and destruction.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy resistance was impossible. life. But it is impossible to say that." he thought.What for?" 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' certainly not be admitted.. correctitude." and he remembered all the legality. An explanation would be possible if it could be said that I have not lived as I ought to. and again with eyes was before them. he stared at the back of the sofa and waited -. "Resistance for! is impossible!" he said to himself. and his lips LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ 130 weary of gazing but unable to cease seeing what .

groaning and staring fixedly She began to remind him of his medicines. lay on his back. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' straight in front of him. LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ . Petrishchev evening. did that "For Christ's sake let me die in peace!" he She would have gone away. great an animosity. so but he turned his eyes towards her with such a look that she did not finish what she look express. It happened in the Ilych and his wife had formally proposed. but just then 131 1D said. He of it. was saying. to her in particular. The next day Praskovya Fedorovna came into her husband's room considering how best to inform him change for the worse in his condition. but that very night there had been a fresh She found him still lying on the sofa but in a different position.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy XI Another two weeks went by in this way and during that fortnight an even occurred that Ivan desired.

that Ivan 132 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' you can do nothing for me. which must be terrible. Let me be. "It's as if we were to blame! I am sorry for papa. The doctor came at his usual time. as the doctor said. He looked at her as he had done at his . "Is it our fault?" Lisa said to her mother. Ilych answered "Yes" angry eyes from him." "You can't even do that." The doctor went into the drawing room and Fedorovna that the case was very O/ LE UD U\ Ivan morning. They were both dryly that he would soon free them all of silent and after sitting with him for a while went away." "We can ease your sufferings.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy their daughter came in and went up to say good wife. so leave me alone. It was true." never taking his "You know told Praskovya serious and that the only resource left was opium 1D to allay her husband's sufferings. and at last said: but why should we be tortured?" LJ LWD and "No. and in reply to her inquiry about his health said himself.

ODQ GD ' perceptible attempts to struggle against what was all his social and official interests. and duties and the whole arrangement of his life and of 1D might all have been false. He tried to defend all the 133 those things to himself and suddenly felt E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ than the physical sufferings were his mental . his family.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy Ilych's physical sufferings were terrible. as he looked at Gerasim's sleepy. His mental sufferings were due to the fact that that night. namely that he had not spent his life as he should have done. It occurred to him that his scarcely considered good by the most highly placed people. might after all be true. but worse sufferings which were his chief torture. might have been the real thing. and all the rest false. the question suddenly occurred to him: "What if my It occurred to him that what had appeared perfectly impossible before. those scarcely noticeable impulses which he had And his professional immediately suppressed. good-natured face with it prominent whole life has been wrong?" cheek-bones.

He groaned and clothing which tossed about. He was given a large dose of opium and 134 E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' them he saw himself -. then his word and movement confirmed to him the awful truth that had been revealed to him during the night.all LJ LWD O/ LE UD that for which he had U\ . but a terrible and huge deception which had hidden both life and death. then his wife." he said to himself.and saw clearly that it was not real at all.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy weakness of what he was defending. and pulled at his 1D choked and stifled him. And he hated them on that account. their every he saw first his footman. and then the doctor. This consciousness intensified his physical suffering tenfold. "and i this life with the consciousness that I have lost all that was given me and it is impossible to rectify it -. In the morning when daughter. am leaving There was "But if that is so. nothing to defend.what then?" He lay on his back and began to pass his life in review in quite a new way. In lived -.

Very well." "What? He opened his eyes wide. and for a moment there came a ray of hope. U\ It's began again. He again began to think of the vermiform appendix and the possibility of correcting it. my dear. unnecessary! However.. my dear." he muttered.. but from side to side. priest came and heard his confession. do. Healthy people often do it. He drove everybody away and tossed . Ivan Ilych was softened and seemed to feel a relief from his doubts and consequently from his sufferings." She began to cry. do this for me.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy became unconscious. at noon his sufferings His wife came to him and said: "Jean." When the "All right. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 135 LJ LWD Take communion? O/ LE UD Why? I'll send for our priest. He 1D received the sacrament with tears in his eyes. ODQ GD ' He is such a nice man. "Yes. It can't do any harm and often helps.

" And as soon as he admitted that thought. approaching end. He began to think "To live! I want to live!" he said to himself. his communion. the tone of her voice. "This is wrong. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library added a new sensation of grinding shooting pain and ODQ GD ' thing. all revealed the same you have lived for and still live for is falsehood and deception. don't you?" O/ LE UD U\ 136 he felt a moment's ease. her figure. hiding life and death from you. All LJ LWD "You feel better." Her dress. and suffering a consciousness of the And to this was that 1D unavoidable. it is not as it should be. the expression of her face. a feeling of suffocation. and of the operation that had been suggested to him. and the hope that he . His wife came in to congratulate him after when uttering the usual conventional words she added: Without looking at her he said "Yes.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy When they laid him down again afterwards might live awoke in him again. his hatred and his agonizing with physical suffering again sprang up.

he . Having uttered it.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy The expression of his face when he uttered looked her straight in the eyes. turned on his face with a rapidity extraordinary in his weak state and shouted: "Go away! Go away and leave me alone!" 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' LJ LWD 137 O/ LE UD U\ that "Yes" was dreadful.

during which time did he struggled in that black sack an invisible. wife closed doors At the moment he answered his realized that he was lost. he had begun by screaming "I won't!" and continued screaming on the letter "O". not exist for him. he felt that his agony was due to his being thrust into E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 138 1D O/ LE UD U\ . and was so terrible that one could not hear it through two without horror. And every moment he felt that despite all his efforts he was drawing nearer and nearer to what terrified him. knowing that he cannot save himself.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy XII From that moment the screaming began that continued for three days. that the end had come. into which he was being thrust by ODQ GD ' For three whole days. the very end. that there was no return. and "Oh! Oh! LJ LWD Oh!" he his doubts were still unsolved and remained doubts. He struggled as a man condemned to death struggles in the hands of the executioner. resistless force. cried in various intonations.

"but that's no matter. LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ to get right into it. and it caused him most torment of all. What had happened to him was like the thinks one is going backwards and suddenly fell through the hole and there at the bottom was a sensation one sometimes experiences in a railway carriage when one becomes aware of the real direction. and he light. It can be done. That very justification of his life held him fast and prevented his moving forward. making it still harder to breathe. and himself. "Yes. He was hindered from getting . it was not the right thing.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy that black hole and still more to his not being able into it by his conviction that his life had been a good one. Just then his schoolboy son had crept softly in and gone up to the bedside. But what *is* the right thing? suddenly grew quiet. E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 139 ODQ GD ' while one is really going forwards This occurred at the end of the third day. 1D two hours before his death." he said to he asked himself. Suddenly some force struck him in the chest and side.

His wife camp up to him and he mouthed.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy The dying man was still screaming desperately and and the boy caught it. with undried tears on her nose and cheek and a despairing look on her face. and felt sorry for him. He felt sorry for her too. LJ LWD She was gazing at him O/ LE UD U\ open- waving his arms. and it was revealed to him that though his life had not been what it should have been." he thought. I am making them wretched." He wished to say this but had not the strength to utter it. why speak? I must act. He asked himself. "They are sorry. looked at his son. pressed it to his lips. His hand fell on the boy's head. At that very moment Ivan Ilych fell through and caught sight of the light. "What *is* the right thing?" and grew still. but it will be better for 1D them when I die. listening. "Besides. . this could still be rectified. Then he felt that someone was kissing his hand. with a look at his wife he E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 140 ODQ GD ' glanced at her. and began to cry. "Yes." he thought. He opened his eyes.

. "And the pain?" are you.." He tried to add." but said "Forego" hand.. and waved his And suddenly it grew clear to him that what had been oppressing him and would not leave his was all dropping away at once from two sides.. he asked himself.sorry "Forgive me. what of it? Let the pain be... Well." "And death. pain?" ten sides. he must act so as not to hurt them: release them and free himself from these sufferings. "Where is it? What 1D death and did not find death?" There was no fear because there was no E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library 141 LJ LWD O/ LE UD understanding U\ for him.where is it?" He sought his former accustomed fear of it. knowing that He whose mattered would understand. from them.. He was sorry for ODQ GD ' "Yes. "How good and how simple!" he thought. .sorry for you too. "What has become of it? Where He turned his attention to it.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy indicated his son and said: "Take him away... and from all sides. here it is.

To him all this happened in a single instant.Death of Ivan Ilych By Leo Tolstoy death. then the gasping and rattle became less and less frequent. "What joy!" and the meaning two hours. "So that's what it is!" he suddenly exclaimed aloud. of that instant did not change. "It is He drew in a breath." he said to himself. emaciated body twitched. and died. stopped in the midst of LJ LWD O/ LE UD U\ 142 In place of death there was light. . "Death is finished. "It is finished!" said someone near him. his For those present his agony continued for another Something rattled in his throat. 1D E-Text Conversion By Nalanda Digital Library ODQ GD ' his soul. He heard these words and repeated them in no more!" a sigh. stretched out.

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