Compelling Pretenses that Imply that the Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, Must Step Down Immediately

The Italian prime minister is incompetent. He has said so himself. After a bitter defeat at the outset of his political career, the hardliner lamented that when he had been president of his media conglomerate, the orders he relayed to his hundreds of managers were executed with managerial finesse; but, when he sought to dominate his thousands of bureaucrats in Rome, he could not. His political record is dismal, incomplete...The president of the Banca d'Italia sadly comments that the Italian economy has been stagnant, under the direction of the prime minister, for fifteen years—way before the formidable worsening the world is now confronting...During the prime minister's regime, top-loaded with bagmen, political fanatics and lackeys, Italy has lost its position as one of the principal economic contenders on the globe...One DisUnited States' ambassador to Italy has frustratingly warned that American businessmen are unwilling to invest in The Boot, and that the Italian educational system is absolutely shameful...The prime minister has unsuccessfully set about to oversee the Italian nation state—one that requires the utilization of political sophistication and diplomatic astuteness in an ever-increasingly challenging world—not as a proud and progressive body politic but as a haughty and disputatious family business...The despotic prime minister has opened the way for a rabid political force in northern Italy to separate itself from the Italian republic and foment political antagonism between two polarizing governmental entities thus burdening Italy with the threat of national dissolution...Today, Italians risk the balcanization of their country ramped up by a coterie of green-hooded thugs and political misanthropes...Worst of all, the undemocratic prime minister has effectuated a small indefinite tour de force to stem the frighteningly declining Italian birthrate—perhaps Italy's most pressing dilemma...And whenever, wherever he materializes in public, he is rebuked by infuriated citizens disgusted with his dispiriting performance. The DisUnited States' Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, obviously overworked and with some screw loose somewhere, only recently declared: “Silvio Berlusconi is America's best friend.” With friends like this, who needs enemies. How long will it be before Hillary is put in a loony bin? The Italian prime minister is not well—both physically and mentally. He is a balding, overweight, 75-year-old keepsake...His face is stressed with the verbal assaults and time-consuming lawsuits foisted upon his persona...He has undergone surgery for prostrate cancer...His thorax is implanted with a pacemaker...His visage twitches from the frozen, meaningless smile he has to maintain when appearing in public...He must have his way, and when he does not, he boils with ire...As most paranoid personalities, the prime minister, too, is a control freak...He carries a sponge in his pocket soaked with a purifying lotion which he uses to cleanse his hand after handshakes...He sends shampoo, in a gift box, to individuals he thinks should wash their hair...Instead of surrounding himself with his grandchildren to set an example for the many childless Italian couples, he has encircled himself with young women many of whom have testified before Italian prosecutors admitting that they were prostitutes...His uncanny social behaviour evidences an abnormality of the sexual perception he possesses of himself...He is unhappy...The poor soul just does not know that he is unfit for the office he holds, and, worse, he cannot fathom that that post is killing him!...As any duce, any Craxi, his megalomania does not allow him to discern appreciatively well, and he is fraught with frustration for not being esteemed by his fellow countrymen. Many Italian hangers-on are self-complacent with their prime minister...When he embarrasses Italy with one of his diplomatic blunders, they laugh...When he insults high ranking political figures living abroad, they applaud...When he is accused of criminal activity, they gawk...The prime minister can do no wrong...When the Central Stupidity Agency instructs him to spy on

Putin and Medvedev, he stands at attention...When the Central Stupidity Agency instructs him to do business with Colonel Muammar al-Qaddfi, he stands at attention...When the Central Stupidity Agency changes its mind and tells him to supply military bases and fighter jets to oppose the Colonel, he stands at attention. This woebegone, baffled buffoon has caused more economic damage to his country than the Allies did during World War II. Italian historian, Aldo Cazzullo, records for us that the Italian prime minister has reinforced the world's belief that Italians are liars, unreliable businesspeople, that they lead their family lives amorally, and are debauched. Transparency International has classified Italy as the most corrupt nation in Western Europe. When will Italy exculpate itself from this assembly line (Craxi, Berlusconi, Bossi, et alia) of modern-day featherbrained fascists? Berlusconi, Hammamet! Berlusconi, Hammamet!! Berlusconi, Hammamet!!! Authored by Anthony St. John 17 March MMXI Calenzano, Italy 150th Anniversary of the Proclamation of Italian Unity * * *

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