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Tasteless Jokes

Tasteless Jokes

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Published by: Chleborád Skočdopole on Nov 04, 2012
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10/17/2013

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What was Princess Di’s favourite

cocktail?

A wallbanger followed by a couple of

chasers.

Why did Princess Diana have a

Mercedes?

1008/1345

She wouldn’t be seen dead in a

Skoda.

Why did Elton John sing at Princess Di-
ana’s funeral?
Because he was the only queen that gave

a fuck.

What’s the difference between Princess
Diana and a beautiful bed of fowers?
Approximately six feet.

What do Princess Diana and Ferrero
Rocher have in common?
They both come out of France in a fancy

box.

Why did Princess Diana cross the

road?

1009/1345

She wasn’t wearing her seat belt.

What’s the difference between a BMW
and a Mercedes?
BMW doesn’t get any royalties.

What do Princess Diana and a landmine
have in common?
Both were laid by Arabs.

What do Princess Diana and Pink
Floyd have in common?
Their last big hit was The Wall.

How did they know Princess Diana had

dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders in
the glove compartment.

1010/1345

Did you know that Princess Di was
on the phone when she crashed?
She was also on the dashboard, the
windscreen, the gearstick and the
headrests.

What would Princess Diana be doing
now if she was still alive?
Scratching at the lid of her coffin.

What is the Queen getting Fergie for
Christmas?

A black Mercedes and a trip to

Paris.

What do you give the princess who has

everything?
A seatbelt and an airbag.

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What did Princess Diana do when
she heard the driver had been
drinking?
She hit the roof.

Why was Diana like a mobile phone?
They both die in tunnels.

What’s the one word that could have
saved Princess Diana’s life?
“Taxi!”

Microsoft has announced that its new
operating system is to be known, prior
to launch, as “Diana, Princess of Win-
dows”. A spokesman for Microsoft
said that this was in tribute to the late
ex-royal. It is also appropriate because
the product will look flashy, be mostly

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superficial, consume vast amounts of
resources and will crash spectacularly.

St Peter meets Mother Theresa at the
pearly gates and says, “You were a good
woman. I’m giving you a nice halo.” Later
on Mother Theresa is walking around
Heaven feeling quite pleased about her
lovely new halo, when she sees Princess Di-
ana wearing a much bigger halo. Mother
Theresa immediately goes back to St Peter
to complain. “St Peter, I spent most of my
adult life helping the poor and the sickly.
Princess Diana did nowhere near the
amount of charitable work I did. She was a
vain self-obsessed attention seeker. Why
does she have a bigger halo?”
St Peter replies, “That’s not a halo.
That’s a steering wheel.”

1013/1345

What does Prince Philip’s bumper sticker
say? “I brake for paparazzi!”

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