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I know you probably think I don’t give you a thought and that the flowers I sent that weren’t on your birthday was a deliberate ‘forget-me-knot’ ,but it wasn’t that I don’t know your birthday, it was just spontaneousness. Just sayin like ‘Sure why not!’ My farts as you know, are incredulous. I had one today after packaged soup, and I thought of you; how you could stand to just read on after I let one in bed sometimes, with your humourous “Pheeeew!” and a wry smile of acceptance; one that mirrored my own after your ‘crow’-nails sometimes protruded from beneath the bedsheets. Used to love those curls I did. Anyway, I smelled the smell of soup today and thought of you. How I ever over-looked you having sex with my ex-girlfriend I still havn’t fathomed, but the more time passes, the more porn I watch, and I am pithering now on the ideal that maybe my problem with your fling(s) was maybe my fault – my own uptightness, probably founded in the summer months I spent putting myself in that ‘quiet’ place when I went on the boy-scouts camping trips in the previous year’s shorts. Pippa – Hello!!! Anyways, I saw two girls walking arm-in-arm from a pub last night and I thought of you. Just before lunch today I watched a wheelchaired guy waiting to cross the road, and though I know how demeaning to their egos it can be to be helped, I couldn’t stop myself offering to assist. Naturally he barked a bit at my muffled shout (The wind was very strong and the passing lorries whirled dust and road-wet about us), but on feeling my hands upon his hump he quietned enough for me to pay attention to the on-coming traffic and time a good shove on the ‘thing’ and off he went. I have to admit I did grimace a bit when I saw one of the chair’s wheels glance off the middle-road yellow thing, but you know what – I think the close sound of Lucy’s (from the coffee shop) two-tone horn did him the world of good. Wasn’t too loud, wasn’t too soft, know what I mean? Anyways, I helped someone who didn’t want help today and I thought of you.
Last night as I showerd I put my mind on some long-finger things I’ve had on my short-list lately. You know – the little list of ‘thing’s to do’ that you’ve been putting on the long finger. It was things that I had been meaning to do a long time ago and about that time (not last night in the shower but I mean ‘that’ time; The time a long time ago when the ‘Short’ in ‘Short-list’ was relevant). Where was I? – Oh yeah, bumped into John and Elizabeth today , they said ‘Hiiiiiii!” (Actually said it that way, both together – like ‘Oh we are in such “sync” as a couple it’s making you sick on the inside). (It wasn’t but what I mean was they did actually say ‘Say Hi to...for us!”) (Personally I think they do remember your name but are careful about my sensitivity issues on hearing your name said out loud – which like I really DONT have a problem with, but I can see where they get it from cause last time they asked about you at the hollow’een party I shrugged-off the caveman outfit (I was pissed like) and shouted “Say hello to my little friend for me too!” (Embarrassed? Oh yeah..). Anyways, I remembered how you used to say to me ‘What the fuck are you on about?’ today, and I thought of you. The fish is doing grand by the way – munching away like he has competition (must be a blonde! – no offence, joking like), Thanks for asking ! (joking), and the plant I took from your window sill (You always said you hated it cause it’s green reminded you of the table-cloth your aunt had who used to put you in the big metal tub and scrub you raw on Saturday nights), was a great source of guess what? – A flower pot! – (well no of course) – A toy for Ned. The botton of the pot split and it fell into the fish tank when I was lifting the plant out (Yes – over the fish tank - where else cause it didn’t matter then if some soil crumbled out cause like what? – Ned’s gonna freak over some friggin’ soil? – Don’t be daft. ). He swims in the hole and out the top now. Or sometimes swims in and (must turn around I suppose) swims out the same hole. Sometimes he swims in the big hole (What would be the top under (not actually under but you know what I mean, normal circumstances) (joke), and out the little hole. Shouldn’t be so surprised by this he is a fish afterall (Im messing!). Anyways, I was watching Ned going for all the holes today and I thought of Tiger Woods and thought of you. (Remember you used to say – or sad once ‘He can swing his big bertha at my rear end anyday’. And I said ‘Who’s ‘HE’ and stormed out. I was only kiddin! (Joke). So there we are – or rather Here I am.
Just figured it’s a pity things didn’t work out, and I’m fine like, but wondered a bit how you were doing and thought sure why not drop you a line and say ‘Hello’. Sometimes I think things could have really worked out, but I know I’m basically happy being single again. Just thought I’d let you know that, case you were wonderin’. Hope you’re well and doin’ great. Sure you are. Just didn’t want you to think I was all stone and no heart. Even think of you now and then. No pressure! Just sayin like! Human, aren’t we? Sure it’s the thought that counts as you used to say when I missed the odd Christmas or Easter or whatever it was. Silly now I think of it. But sure that’s life – better to have lost and all that. Anyways, a bird in the bush never won a fair lady so I might as well let you know if you ever need a friend just get in touch. Not that I’m counting on it or hoping it would ever spark us off and rekindle a long-lasting relationship – afterall its friendship that endures ‘love’ and lust and all that sort of thing, I’m not, but now and then it might be ok (I’m fine with it like) just to catch-up and sort-of, you know, be like each others supporting person rather than a ‘sexbuddie’ or anything like that whatever way people phrase it there’s no point in that. Wave been there and done each other and had the ‘experience’ and look where it got us; No - better to “Stay friends” and just leave it like that. So if you want to swing round even late at night or anything I’m here. Theres lots of people find ex’s ringin them after the pub at the weekends and they all complain but I won’t that’s a promise. I know where you’ll be coming from and I’m fine with that really am. We have a kindof a bond like from the three months we had. From the intensness I mean. The talkin and whatever like. Walkin’ n shit. You know what I mean I don’t just mean the ‘closeness’ in the physical sense I mean like the mental closeness, the stories we shared about out past(s) before we had met. Remember the night we sat up all night and you were on the phone to Elisabeth and I sat up and just listened to you and was just like ‘There’ for you (US) and brought you tea and made you a cheese toastie and held the bucket when you got sick like. Those are the moments no therapist can EVER take away from me. And I’m sure you. Its the times like that when we weren’t having sex or I wasn’t thinking or planning on sex that things really went well for us and that’s mainly why when I say to be friends I know it would work – as friends like, I m not sayin “US” all-over-again, I mean the close deep stuff. That could be the glue no matter who you met (or have met I don’t know ) a glue stronger than the lusty glue that binds people together when they’ve nothing concrete like us accepting farts
and the ‘baggy-eye- jokes in the mornings and stuff. Real stuff. Life stuff. Cause that’s what love is relly isn’t it? For life like. And only friendship can build something like that and I think we have that already. Anyways, I skipped work today on a ‘sickky’ and was thinking it was about time one of us stepped forward and said “I was thinking of you”. As a friend and nothing more. I don’t have you’re new address in the sat-nav yet (prob could find it on a small scale local map though I don’t know), so if you do want to have coffee or whatever or just a chat anytime just gimme buzz or drop me a line or email me or text if you want doesn’t matter. Either way I’ll get back to you if you leave a message (you can do this on my mobile by the way too during business hours by putting a 5 before the actual number itself in case you want to phone sometime but don’t want to interrupt me at work, and that’ll get straight to VM I can call you back anyways right away if I’m not busy or later if I’ve a meeting when you VM me). No problem if you don’t get in touch for a while I understand. Takes bit of time getting used to me I know but my heart is in the right place and you know where I’m coming from so when the old pitter-platter settles and you can see us in a low-light like I do now as ‘only’ friends you’ll be ready to step forward. Not sayin I wont be busy, not sayin I’ll get back on the spot – this whole friendship idea is new for me too remember – but certainly within that day or evening or even night I’ll get back to you and we’’ll take it from there. All will be well ok? Good. Take care of yourself (Says you ‘I sure will!’ (joke)) And mind the road. There’s no friend in need like an old one. Sunny-side up me ole gra, I nearly miss you (Kidding!!!!!!!!!) All the best, Steve(ie) PS Life’s two short! Carmen Diaz!
(That’s not a dig at Elizabeth I’m well over that as you know) Be good. PPS Ned says “Bubble bubble bubble” ! (You can bring chocs if you want and I will share! – It’s the new me! ‘Promise!!!! ) Hope ur well and doin fine. X(o)
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