Deception Detection Made Easy

Never Be Fooled, Conned, Duped Or Tricked By Little White Lies, Big Fat Lies, Or Even Half-Truths Again!

By Ross Craft Published by Valencia Publishing

Copyright 2012 by Valencia Publishing LLC.

No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the written permission of the copyright owner. Every precaution has been taken to ensure that the information presented herein is accurate. However, neither the author nor Valencia Publishing LLC. shall have any liability to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information contained within this work. The information is presented on an as is basis; there is no warranty.

About The Author

Ross and his wife Alecia Sue live in Naples Florida. Before becoming a best selling author he fought a five year long, mostly downhill, health battle before he experienced a miraculous recovery from two different medical death sentences. His desire to tell others about his recovery provided him with the drive to write his first book, Learning to Dance in The Rain (available on Amazon) which chronicles his health battles and the mental processes he went through to recover. He also embarked on a five year research project into self help information to enable him to explain just how winners win in life. His book on the subject is How Winners Win now available on Amazon as a result of both his experience and his research. While researching self help information he became interested in deception detection which led to the publication of this book. Deception Detection Made Easy He is also the author of Stress Belly Fat and Adrenal Fatigue available on Amazon.

Table of Contents
Introduction .................................................................................................. 5 Chapter 1 Becoming a Human Lie Detector ....................................................... 6 Chapter 2 Signs of Deception .......................................................................... 8 Chapter 3 The Direct Approach 11 Examples ................................................... 13 Chapter 4: Eleven methods to get the truth ................................................... 19 Chapter 5 Tactics for Detecting Deceit in General Conversations ........................ 25 Chapter 6 Directing the Conversation ............................................................. 31 Chapter 7 Mind Games ................................................................................. 33 Chapter 8 Advanced Techniques for Getting the Truth ...................................... 36

Introduction
Deception Detection Made Easy. Never Be Fooled, Conned, Duped Or Tricked By Little White Lies, Big Fat Lies, Or Even Half-Truths Again! Once you read this easy to understand, easy to use guide, you will be able to instantly Spot A Lie. Do you have the feeling that you are being lied to? The truth is: YOU ARE. Liars are everywherebut you dont have to fall for their lies any longer. You will learn how to spot a lie immediately, without years of training! You Can Now Have More Confidence In Relationships Can you imagine the advantages you will have in relationships, when you know the real truth all of the time? Learn the right way to ask questions and listen for the answers to determine if you are being lied to. Get the Whole Truth Finally open your eyes to the lies you are being fed every day. Politicians, pastors, friends, co-workers, and just about everyone you come in contact with has the potential to be a liar on some scale. This little book will arm you with the tools you need to be vigilant, in-the-know, and to make the right decisions based on the truth. All of the liars out there are depending on the fact that you will remain in the dark. Study this little book now and never be a victim to liars again!

Chapter 1 Becoming a Human Lie Detector

The clues to deception can be used together with great reliability in everyday scenarios and conversations. However, in the event you must know the truth in a given situation, this chapter gives you a pattern of questions that almost guarantees you'll know (a) if you are being lied to and (b) exactly what the truth is when its not obvious from the lie. When utilized in order, all three parts provide you the best chances to reach the truth. Part One of Three - Attack-Sequence The goal here is to ask a question that doesn't accuse the individual of anything but refers to the individual's possible behavior. The trick is to phrase a question that sounds perfectly innocent to an innocent person, but just like an accusation towards the guilty. Suspicion: You're feeling that your boyfriend was cheating the evening before. Question: Anything interesting happen last night? Suspicion: You believe a coworker told your administrative assistant that you've got a crush on him. Question: Heard any good gossip recently? Any answers for example, why do you ask? Or where did you hear that? Indicate concern on the individual's part. He/she shouldn't be seeking information from you if he doesn't believe that your question is leading. He/she also shouldn't be contemplating why you're asking the question unless he/she thinks that you might figure out what he/she doesn't want you to know. Part of two of three The goal here is to introduce a situation much like what you suspect is happening, applying specifics. Suspicion: You suspect one of your salespeople has lied to a customer in order to make the sale. Question: Jim, I'm wondering if you could help me with something. It's come to my attention that someone in the sales department has been

misrepresenting our products to customers. How do you think we can clear this up? Suspicion: A hospital administrator suspects that a doctor was drinking while on duty. Question: Dr. Marcus, I'd like to get you advice on something. A colleague of mine at another hospital has a problem with one of her doctors. She feels he may be drinking while on call. Do you have any suggestions on how she can approach the doctor about this problem? If he's innocent of the allegations he's more likely to offer his advice and also be pleased you wanted his opinion. If he's guilty he'll seem uncomfortable and will definitely guarantee you that he never does anything like that. Regardless, this paves the way to probe further. Part three of three The goal here is to introduce a situation much like what you suspect is happening, using general terms. Suspicion: You believe a student has cheated on his exam. Question: Don't you think it's amazing how someone can cheat on a test and are not be aware that I was standing behind him the whole time? Suspicion: You believe a coworker of bad-mouthing you to your boss. Question: It's amazing all of the backstabbing that goes on around here, don't you think? And these individuals doing it think that it will not get back to the person involved. Suspicion: You believe your boyfriend/girlfriend could be two-timing you. Question: It's amazing how someone could be unfaithful and expect not to ever get caught. A change in subject is an extreme indication of guilt. However, if he/she finds your question intriguing and he's/shes innocent, he/she may start a conversation about this since he's/shes unafraid to talk about the topic.

Chapter 2 Signs of Deception

As soon as you are aware that you're being lied to, should you confront the liar immediately? Usually not, the most effective method is to note the truth in your mind and proceed with the conversation, trying to extract additional information. When you address someone who has lied to you, the tone in the conversation changes and gathering additional facts becomes difficult. Therefore, hold off until you have got all the evidence you want then decide if you should address the individual then or postpone to figure the best way to use this insight to your benefit. Observe Body Language The individual will make little if any eye contact. An individual who is lying to your face is going to do anything to avoid making eye contact. Physical expression is going to be limited, along with few arm and hand movements. What arm and hand movements exist will appear stiff, and mechanical. Hands, arm and legs pull in toward the body; the person takes up less space. His/her hand(s) might go up to his face or throat, especially to the mouth. But touching his body is confined to these locations. He's also unlikely to touch his chest using an open hand gesture. He might also touch the nose or scratch behind the ear. If he's trying to appear casual and relaxed about his answer, he might shrug just a little. Emotional States - Consistency and Contradiction The timing is off between gestures and words. If ever the facial expression comes after the verbal statement (I am so angry at you at the moment pause and then a angry expression) it appears false. The head moves in a very mechanical manner without regard to emphasis, indicating a conscious movement. Gestures don't match the verbal message, for example frowning when saying I love you. Hands tightly clenched in addition to a statement of delight are never in sync with one another. The timing and length of emotional expressions will seem off. The emotion is delayed coming on, stays longer than it ought to, in addition to fades out abruptly. Expression is going to be limited to the mouth area once the person is feigning certain emotions, happiness, surprise, awe, etc. rather than the whole face. Interpersonal Interactions

When we're wrongfully accused, a very guilty individual gets defensive. An individual who is innocent will most likely go on the offensive. Hes not wanting to face his her accuser and may even turn his head or shift his body away. The individual who is lying will likely slouch; he's not likely to stand tall with his arms out or outstretched. There's movement away from his accuser, possibly towards the exit. There'll be little or no physical contact throughout his attempt to convince you. He won't point his finger at the person he's attempting to convince. He might place physical objects (pillow, drinking glass, etc.) between himself and the accuser to create a barrier, with a verbal equivalent of I'd rather not discuss it, indicating deception or covert intention. What Is Said: Actual Verbal Content He'll use your own words to make his point. When asked, did you cheat on me? The liar answers, no, I did not cheat on you. Also, whenever a suspect uses a contraction It wasn't me, rather than It was not me statistically there's a 60% chance he's truthful. He might stonewall, giving the feeling that his mind is made up. This is usually an attempt to limit your challenges to his position. When someone says right in the beginning that he positively won't budge, it indicates one thing: He knows he can be persuaded. He has to tell you this to ensure you won't ask, because he knows he'll cave in. The confident person make use of phrases like I'm sorry, this really is basically the best we can do. Beware of the good old Freudian slip. He depersonalizes his answer by providing his opinion on the subject rather than answering directly. A liar offers abstract assurances as proof of his innocence in a specific instance. Example: Did you ever cheat on me? And you simply hear, you know I'm against that kind of thing. I think it morally reprehensible. He'll keep adding additional information until he is certain he has sold you on his story. The guilty are uncomfortable with silence. He talks to fill the gap left from the silence. He might imply a response but never state it directly. How Something Is Said Deceitful response to questions on beliefs and attitudes take more time to think up. However, how fast does the remainder of the sentence continue with the initial one-word response? In truthful statements a quick no or yes is followed quickly by an explanation. If the individual is being deceitful the remainder of the sentence may come slower because this individual needs time to think up an explanation. Be aware of reactions that are all out of

proportion towards the question. He might repeat points that he's already made. He can also be unwilling to use words that convey attachment and ownership or possessiveness (that car as opposed to my car). The individual who is lying may omit pronouns and speak in a monotonous and inexpressive voice. Whenever an individual is making a truthful statement, he emphasizes the pronoun as much as or more than the rest of the sentence. Words might be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar might be off. In other words, his sentences will most likely be muddled instead of emphasized. Statements sound a great deal like questions, indicating that he's seeking reassurance. Voice, head and eyes lift towards the end of their statement Psychological Profile Oftentimes we see the world as a reflection of ourselves. If you are being accused of something, examine your accuser's veracity. Be aware of individuals who are always saying just how corrupt the rest of the world is. Be wary of those asking you if you believe them. They might reply with, you do not believe me, do you? The majority of people who tell the truth expect to be believed. Take a look at whether his focus is internal or external. Whenever an individual is confident about what he's saying, he's more interested in your understanding him and less keen on how he appears to you personally. In a liar's story, he will not normally give the viewpoint of a 3rd party. For example giving a viewpoint of somebody else, my roommate was so shocked that I would. In relating a story, a liar often omits the negative aspects (unless the story is used to explain why he was delayed or simply had to cancel plans). The story of a vacation, for instance, needs to have both positive and negative elements of what happened. A liar willingly answers your questions but asks none of his own. For example, on their first intimate encounter, Randy asks his new girlfriend if she's ever been tested for AIDS. She responds with Oh, yes, certainly, and proceeds a little about annual checkups, giving blood, etc. And then nothing! If she was worried about her health, as her answer implied, then she'd have asked him exactly the same question. The liar is normally unaware that coming across as truthful means both answering and asking questions. General Indications of Deceit Once the subject is changed, he's in a better, much better mood. The guilty wants the subject changed; the innocent always wants a further exchange of

information. He doesn't become offended when falsely accused. When he is being accused the liar will remain fairly expressionless. The liar is a bit more worried about how he's going to respond than he is with the accusation itself. He uses such phrases as; to tell you the truth, to be perfectly honest, and why would I lie to you? He's got a response to your question down pat, for example giving specific details of an event occurring two months ago. He stalls by asking you to repeat the question or by responding to your question with a question. Where did you hear that? Would you be a little more specific, or perhaps repeating your question back to you, in an attempt at sounding incredulous? For instance, did I sell you a puppy with a heart condition? Is that what you are asking me? What he's saying sounds implausible, for example over the past decade Ive never used a specific racial epithet. He offers you a preamble to his statement beginning with I don't want you to assume that. Usually thats what he wants you to think. Whenever someone makes a point of informing you what they are not doing, you can be certain it's precisely what they are doing. For example, Not to hurt your feelings, but He implies through a type of denial. You hear, he's having marital problems; however it has absolutely nothing to do with his wife's new job. What is the first thing you ask? Just what does his wife do? Suddenly you are in the same conversation that should have no bearing on the facts. He makes use of humor or sarcasm to defuse your concerns, instead of responding seriously. He gives you a much better solution to your request when he is not able to provide you with what you originally asked for. Before you can accept someone at his word that he has something better to offer, first determine whether he has whatever you initially asked for. If he doesn't, you definitely shouldn't believe him. All of his facts in relation to numbers are the same or multiples of one another. Look out when facts, figures, and information have unusual similarities. There's proof of involuntary responses that are anxiety based. Anxiety causes many things. His breathing might appear as a deep, audible inhaling in an effort to control his breathing to calm himself. Swallowing becomes difficult; he might clear his throat. His ability to concentrate on something is often diminished, not able to focus on what's happening. He uses an obvious fact to support a dubious action.

For example, suppose a guard is standing watch over a restricted area. It's his job to check ID's of people who enter. I am not sure you have authorization, he says to a man attempting access. I am not surprised, answered the man, just a few individuals are aware of my clearance level. My work here is not meant to be known by everyone. He casually says to you something which deserves more attention. He exclaims his displeasure at the actions of some other person who has done something similar so that you will not suspect him. For example, if he's trying to throw you off course of his embezzlement scheme, he might openly chastise another employee for borrowing some office supplies for their use at their home. Your impression is that often he's a moral individual who objects to something as minor as stealing office supplies. Certainly he can't be accountable for a large-scale embezzlement scheme. He might casually let you know something that should deserve more attention. Oh incidentally, I have to go out of town next weekend on business. If he doesn't usually travel for work on the weekends, you would then expect him to make a point of how unusual the trip is. His downplaying the trip causes it to become suspicious. When something unusual happens and then the person doesn't draw attention to it, it means that they're attempting to draw attention away from it. Another tactic is running off a long list of items in anticipation that one will continue to be unnoticed. If he lies about one thing, everything he states is questionable. His story is rather wild that you almost don't believe it. But you do, because if he wished to lie, you would think that he would have come up with something more plausible.

Chapter 3 The Direct Approach 11 Examples

Direct Questioning Ask your questions directly Give no advance warning of the subject you are about to talk about or of any feelings of mistrust. Never reveal what you may know first. Ask questions to collect information to determine if it's in line with what you know already. How you present yourself can greatly influence the attitude of the other individual. Three powerful techniques for establishing building rapport: 1. Matching posture and movements; if he has one hand in his pocket, you put your hand in yours. 2. Matching speech; if he's speaking in a slow, relaxed tone, you do exactly the same. 3. Matching keywords and phrases if he's more prone to using certain words or phrases, use them when conversing. Ask a question you are sure that will generate a response similar to how you expect him to react. In other words, if he waves his arms around regardless of what he's speaking about, you want to know this. Try a relaxed and non-threatening posture, and square off to ensure that you're facing one another. Never, ever interrupt. You cannot learn anything new while you are talking. Ask open-ended questions then follow these steps:. Step 1: Silence. Step 2: Really, at the end of his answer respond with, really? Step 3 Sudden Death. Follow with do you have anything you would like to get off your chest? Direct Approach 2: Lead and Confine Follow these steps: Step 1 Ask a leading question. For instance, you were back by two A.M. last night, weren't you?

Step 2 Reverse course: You have got to be kidding! For instance, I was hoping you did, so that you would've gotten it out of your system. Please tell me that you have done it, so I see that it's over and done with. Step 3 This is not going to work. For instance, I imagined you were one who had a sense of adventure. One who knows how to live a little. Direct Approach 3: Time Line Distortion Scenario: You suspect several employees in your store of stealing money Step 1: Setting the scene. Allow the conversation turn casually to stealing and say, Oh, I knew from the very beginning what was occurring. Step 2: It's really no big issue. You had to know I knew. How else do you really think you could have gotten away with it for so long? I hope you don't think I'm a complete idiot. Step 3: I appreciate what you have done. I understand that you were just going along with it because you were afraid of what the others would do. Its really okay. I know youre not that type of person.

Direct Approach 4: Direct Assumption / Shot in the Dark

Step1: Set the scene. Be somewhat curt and standoffish, as though something heavy-duty is troubling you. This will cause his mind to race to figure out ways to explain the error of his ways. Im hurt. Say, Ive just found something out and Im really hurt [shocked/surprised]. I know youre gonna lie to me and then try to deny it, however I simply wanted you to be aware that I know. You establish that (a) hes guilty of something and (b) you know what it is. Step 2: Hold your ground. Say, I think we both know what Im referring to. We must clear the air, and we can begin by your talking. Step 3: Keep holding your ground. Repeat phrases including Im sure it will come to you and the longer I wait, the madder Im getting. Step 4: Apply social pressure. We were all discussing it. It's common knowledge. Now he starts to get curious about who knows and exactly how they found out. The moment he attempts to find out, youll know hes guilty.

Direct Approach 5: The Missing Link

Scenario: You feel your mother-in-law might have hired a private investigator to follow you around. Step 1: List the facts, tell her something you know to be true. I am aware youre not too fond of me, and you also objected to the wedding, however this time youve gone too far. Step 2: State your assumption. I do know all about the investigator. Why did you feel that was necessary? Step 3: The magic phrase, you know what, Im too upset to discuss this now. The guilty person will honor your request because she wont wish to anger you further. An innocent person would be mad at you for accusing her of something which she hasnt done and definitely will wish to discuss it now.

Direct Approach 6: Who, Me?

Step 1: Setting the scene. He suspects that his ex-girlfriend broke into his house. He phoned to let her know in a really non-accusatory manner in which there had been a break-in and a few items were missing. The following form of conversation would ensue: Winston: The authorities will want to speak to everyone who had access to the house. Because you still have a key, theyre going to wish to speak with you. Just routine stuff, Im sure. Obviously, youre not a suspect. Ex-Girlfriend: But I dont know anything about it. Winston: Oh, I know. Just policy, I guess. Anyway, one of my neighbors said that she got a partial license-plate number on a car that was by my house that day. Ex-Girlfriend: (After a long pause) Well, I had been driving around your area that day. I stopped by to see if you were home. However when you werent, I just left. Winston: Oh, really? Well, they did a fingerprint test too. That ought to show something. Ex-Girlfriend: What test? Winston: Oh, they dusted for prints and

Step 2: Inform non-accusatorily. Casually educate your suspect on the situation. Step 3: Introduce evidence that will be rebutted. While you introduce the evidence, look to see if all of your statements are met by explanations from her as to just how the evidence might be misunderstood. For instance in another senario, you suspect that a co-worker had shredded some of your files. You will first set the stage by allowing him know that you cant find some important files. Then say, well, its a good thing my secretary noticed someone by the shredder the other day. She said she recognized his face but didnt know his name. An innocent person will not feel the need to explain in an effort to avert the possibility that he could be wrongly accused. Step 4: Continue. Continue with more facts that the individual can attempt to explain away. But in actuality, he begins to speak about why the circumstance might look that way, you realize you have him.

Direct Approach 7: Outrageous Accusations

Step 1: Accuse him of everything. In a very fed-up manner, accuse him of doing every imaginable dishonest and disloyal act. Step 2: Introduce the suspicion. Now introduce the single thing you sense he really has done, and in an effort to clear himself of the other charges, he will offer a reason for his one slip-up. Say, after all, its not like you just stole a file that would be fine. But all these other things are unspeakable. He responds, No, I just stole that one file because of the pressure to get the job done, but I would never sell trade secrets! The only way to prove his innocence to all of your unreasonable accusations would be to explain why he did what you really suspect him of doing. Step 3: Step in closer. This increases anxiety in the guilty. He feels hes being closed in on.

Direct Approach 8: Is There a Reason?

Step 1: Introduce an undeniable fact. For instance, if you would like to know if your secretary went out last night when she said she was sick, I drove by your house on the way home. Is there a reason your vehicle wasnt in the driveway? Had she been home sick, she'd simply explain how you're wrong the vehicle was in fact in the driveway.

Step 2: One more shot. Oh, thats odd, I called your house and I got your machine. If shes guilty she will search for any way for making her story fit your facts. Step 3: Stare. Staring makes a person that is on the defensive feel closed in; your glare is infringing on her personal space, inducing a mental claustrophobia. Lock eyes with her and ask again.

Direct Approach 9: Third-Party Confirmation

The Situation: You think one of your employees has another individual punch out on the time clock for him. Step 1: Accuse outright. After gaining assistance from a friend or coworker, you have this individual make the accusation for you. For instance, Mel, I was speaking with Cindy, and she told me shes getting pretty tired of your having someone else punch out for you so you can leave work early. At this point Mel is worried just with Cindys disapproval of his actions. Your friend is thoroughly believable because we rarely think to question the sort of third-party setup. Step 2: Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Its well known, but I think I know how you could smooth things over with her. See whether he takes the bait. An individual whos innocent wouldn't be thinking about smoothing things over with another individual for something which he hasnt done. Step 3: Last call. Okay. But are you sure? At this stage, any hesitation is likely to be indication of guilt because hes quickly attempting to weight his options.

Direct Approach 10: The Chain Reaction

Sample situation: You think several employees in your store of stealing money Step 1: Setting the scene. In a one-on-one meeting with the staff member, inform them that youre in search of an individual to manage a new internal theft program for the whole company. Step 2: The irony is were trying to find an individual who knows how its done. Now dont worry, youre not getting in trouble. As a matter of fact weve been aware of it for some time. We're more interested in seeing how efficient you are. Rather impressive. Anyway, we're feeling that because you

understand how its done, youll know how to prevent it. Granted, its pretty unusual, however this is an unusual instance. Step 3: I told them so. You understand, I told them that you might be too afraid to have an open discussion concerning this. They were wrong, I was right. Search for hesitation on his part. If hes guilty, he will be weighing his options. This requires time. An innocent person has nothing to consider. Only the guilty have the choice of confessing or not.

Direct Approach 11: Condemn or Concern

Step1: The situation - Im just informing you. The key with this sequence is not to accuse, just to inform. Lets say that youre working in the customer service department of a computer store. A customer returns a non-working printer for an exchange, claiming which he purchased it just a few days before. He has the all-important receipt and the printer is packed neatly in the original box. Upon inspecting the contents you find that a necessary, expensive, and easily removable piece of the device is missing, an obvious indication of why the device was not working properly. Listed here are two possible responses you could get after informing the customer of your discovery. Response 1: I didnt take it out. Thats how it was when I bought it. (Defensive) Response 2: What, you sold me a printer that has a missing part? I wasted a couple of hours trying to get that thing to work. (Offensive) The individual who utters Response 2 has every right to be annoyed; it never crosses his mind that hes being accused of anything. The individual who gives Response 1 knows he never even attempted to get the printer to operate because he took the part out. It doesnt occur to him to become angry. He assumes that hes being accused of taking out the part and become defensive once you inform him the part is missing.

Chapter 4: Eleven methods to get the truth

How to Get the Truth without Beating It out Of them to convey honesty and truthfulness in your message, utilize the following techniques: Look the individual directly in the eyes. Use hand movements to stress your message. Use animated gestures which are fluid and consistent with the conversation. Stand or sit upright no slouching. Dont begin with any statements with, to tell you the truth, or to be perfectly honest with you. Face the individual straight on. Dont back away. Liars require an incentive to confess. The payoff for confessing must be immediate, clear, specific, and compelling. You cant just tell an individual what hell gain by being truthful or lose by continuing to lie; you must make it real for him so real, the fact is that, that he can feel, taste, touch, see, and hear it. Make it his reality. Allow him to experience fully the pleasure of being honest and the pain of continuing the lie. Involve as many of the senses as you can, particularly visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. Create images for the person to see, sounds for him to hear, and sensations that he can almost feel. You would like to make this experience as real as feasible. First state the positives, then state the negatives, and then present the option.

Method 1: If you think thats bad, wait until you hear this!
This method is effective simply because it forces the liar into thinking emotionally as opposed to logically. It alleviates his guilt by making him feel that hes not alone, and it throws him off by having a little anger and/or curiosity. Plus he thinks that you and he are exchanging information, rather than his providing you something for nothing. Sample question formation: The reason Im asking you these questions is this: Ive done things that Im less than proud of, so. I can see why you may have.

In a way Im almost relieved. Now I dont feel so bad. At this stage he will ask you to get more specific about your actions. But insist that he explain to you first. Simply wait and hell come clean.

Method 2: It Was An Accident. Really!

This really is a great strategy because doing so makes him feel that it will be the best thing to have you know precisely what happened. He did something wrong, true, but that's no longer your concern. You shift the main objective of your concern to his intentions, not his actions. This will make it easier for him to confess to his behavior and make it okay with the explanation that it was unintentional. He feels that you really care about his motivation. To paraphrase, you let him know that the source of your concern is not what hes done, but why hes done it. Sample question: I can comprehend that maybe you didnt plan on its happening. Things just got out of hand and you acted without thinking. Im fine with that an accident, right? But if you did this deliberately, I dont believe I could ever forgive you. You need to let me know that you didnt do it intentionally. Please.

Method 3: The Boomerang

This method really throws a psychological curveball. In this particular example you tell him that he did something good, not bad. Hes completely thrown off by this. For instance, you would like to see if your interviewee has lied on his resume. Sample question: As we both know, everybody pads his resumes lightly. Me personally, I think it shows guts. It informs me that the person isnt afraid to take on new responsibilities. Which parts were you most creative with on this resume?

Method 4: Truth or Consequences

With this method you force your antagonist to be of assistance or you both wind up with nothing. This is the complete opposite of the boomerang. Here the individual has nothing unless he cooperates with you. Since you don't have anything anyway (the truth), its a good tradeoff for you. Lets say you suspect that your housekeeper has stolen from you.

Sample question: Id rather hear it from you first. I can live with what you did, what happened, most definitely not with your lying to me concerning this. If you dont explain it to me, then its over. If you tell me the truth, things can go back to the way they use to be. However, if you dont, then we have zero chance here, and youll have absolutely nothing.

Method 5: Speak now or forever hold your peace

Individuals place a premium on that which is scarce. In other words, rare equals good. You could dramatically boost your leverage by conveying that this is the only time that you'll discuss this. Let him know that (a) this is his last chance hell have for explaining himself, and (b) you could get what you require from someone else. Try increasing the rate of your speech also. The faster you speak, the shorter period he has to process the content, and it conveys as stronger sense of urgency. Provide a deadline with a penalty for not meeting it. Deadlines force action. If the guilty party thinks that he can always come clean, then he will take a wait-and-see approach before tipping his hand. Let the person know that you are aware and have evidence of his action. And admitting his sins now will give him the chance to explain his side. Sample question: I want to hear it from you now. After tomorrow, anything you say wont make any difference for me. I am aware of what happened/what you did. I was hoping I'd personally hear it from you first. It would mean a great deal to me to listen to your side of it. I know there are two sides to every story, and before I decide how to proceed, I would like to hear yours. Hearing this provides him the feeling he still has a chance if he confesses. In fact, what really happened cant be as bad as what you heard. Confessing this is a method of cutting his losses.

Method 6: Reverse Course

You convey to him what happened or what he did was a good thing insofar as it permits you and him to develop a much better relationship personal or professional. You give him a chance to explain why he took that choice. You also blame yourself.

Sample question: I understand the reason why you would have done that. Clearly you wouldnt have unless you had a valid reason. You were probably treated badly or something like that was lacking. What can I do to help you to ensure that it doesnt happen again? Keep interjecting the following phrases: I take full responsibility for your actions. Lets band together to see how we can avoid this from happening again. I understand completely. You were right to do what you did.

Method 7: I Hate To Do This, but You Leave Me No Choice

Here is the only strategy that involves threat. You allow him to become mindful that there are going to be greater ramifications and repercussions than merely lying to you issues that he never thought about. You rely upon his imagination to set the terms of the damage that you can inflict. His mind will race through every possible scenario as his own fears turn against him. Sample question example I: I didnt want to have to do this however, you leave me no choice. This will likely drive him to reply: Do what at this stage hes waiting to find out what the tradeoff is going to be. But don't commit yourself to an action. Allow him to create in his own mind scenarios what you'll do unless he confesses. Sample question example II: You know what I can do, and Ill take action. If you dont want to tell me now, dont. Ill simply do what I have to do. Following this statement, look closely at his response. If he concentrates on what you will really do to him, the odds lean more toward guilty. However, if he reasserts that hes done nothing, he may in fact be innocent of your accusation. The guilty person has to know the penalty to figure out if it is sensible for him to keep to his story.

Method 8: I guess youre Not Allowed

Never underestimate the power of appealing to a persons ego. Sometimes you really want to inflate it, and others times you need to attack it. This method is for attacking. Its truly saddening how fragile some peoples egos are. Sample question: I believe I know what exactly it is youre not allowed to tell me. Another individual is pulling the strings and youll get in trouble. You would tell me the simple truth if you could, but you dont have the power to do so.

Method 9: Higher Authority

So long as the individual believes that you're on his side, hell take the bait. All you need to do is tell him that anything hes lied about can now be settled within seconds. However, if anyone else finds out about it later, its far too late. Lets say that you'd like to know if your administrative assistant leaves early when youre out of the office. Sample question: The vice president from corporate is arriving today. Hes inquired about your hours, so Im going to tell him that you come in early on the days that you leave early. Do you remember what days last month you finished up early and took off? This really is disarming, and youre not yelling at her or demanding answers. Youre on her side, and youre going to come together to smooth things over.

Method 10: The Great Unknown

You can acquire maximum leverage by explaining how, the ramifications of his deceit is going to be something which the suspect hasn't ever known before. Whether or not he believes that you're limited in what you can do to him plus what the penalty will be, the degree of the penalty can be manipulated in two major ways to cause it to appear far more severe: time and impact. Time: Give no indication of when the penalty will occur. When things happen unexpectedly, the degree of anguish is more potent. Impact: Convey that his entire life will probably be disrupted and drastically altered for the worse. He must see that this event isn't isolated and will instead have a ripple effect. When bad things happen we are often comforted in understanding that it will soon be over and the remainder of our life will stay intact and unaffected. However if these things are not assured, we become increasingly fearful and concerned.

Method 11: I Couldnt Care Less

A primary law governing human nature is that all of us have a need to feel significant. Nobody wants to be regarded as unimportant, or feel like his ideas and thinking are irrelevant. Eliminate a persons belief that he has value and hell do just about anything to reassert his feeling of importance. Your apathy toward the matter will unnerve him immensely. He will start to crave recognition and acceptance,

of all sorts. He has to know you care what the results are, and if discussing his misdeeds is the only way he can find out, he will. Sample question: I know and I just dont care. This is simply not for me. Ive got other things to take into consideration. Maybe well talk another time. You do what you have to do, thats fine with me. To be more efficient, stare at him. When you stare at someone he often feels less significant and will look to reassert his value.

Chapter 5 Tactics for Detecting Deceit in General Conversations Method 1: Ask a question
Throughout the conversation simply ask general, clear questions associated with your suspicion. This makes the individual you are questioning to recall information. If hes lying, hell require sometime to answer because he first has to check his response mentally to be sure it is sensible. Made-up stories don't have details because they never happened! Ask questions that will give you a goal, not a subjective response. For example, if you think a staff member was home when he said he'd be away on vacation, dont ask him how he enjoyed the weather in Florida, but instead ask did you rent a vehicle? Once he answers yes to any question, ask for more detail. If hes lying, hell try to keep the main points straight and will take his time answering further questions.

Method 2: Add a fact that is false

Include a fact and ask the individual to comment on it. This fact is one which youve constructed, but one that sounds perfectly reasonable. For instance, if you had to know if someone really indeed went on a safari to Africa, you point out that your uncle who works as a customs officer for the Nairobi airport told you that anyone going to Africa was given special instructions about how to avoid malaria. As soon as he validates your claim in an attempt to back up his assertion that he has gone to Africa, you know that his story is untrue. Otherwise he would simply say that he doesnt know what your uncle is talking about. This is important: Your statement must be untrue It must sound reasonable. Your assertion must be something that would directly affect the individual, so he would have firsthand knowledge of this fact.

Method 3: Ask for proof

In this sequence you take exactly what the person says and ask for proof, but in a really non-threatening manner. For instance, in the case of the individual that claimed he had gone on safari, you might tell him that you would love to see pictures of the trip. If he offers up a reason why you cant see the pictures, then this should arouse some suspicion.

Method 4: Expand-a-Fact
Make use of this clue to find out how far someone is willing to go to get what he wants. All you do is expand on an indisputable fact that he has already offered. If he just goes on without correcting you, you already know that he may be lying about what hes said so far and/or is willing to lie to get you to see his point. For instance, your assistant asks you for the rest of the day off because hes not feeling well. You might say, oh, certainly, if youve got a fever and a bad headache, go ahead and take off. He never claimed to have these symptoms. You simply expanded on her statement.

Other situations
Method 1: Third-Party Protection This method is utilized if someone is hesitant to tell you something which involves another individual. You need to entice his ego and allow him to forget that hes telling tales out of school. The conversation needs to be positive. The other individual must feel as though hes doing a good thing by answering your question. Situation A: Your attorney is letting you know about a case that a fellow attorney messed up on. Simply asking, what, did he do wrong, would most likely get you nowhere. However, by turning it around you create an incentive for him to tell you. Ask, had you handled the case, what would you have done differently? Situation B: While talking with Brad, one of your sales representatives, you want to find out why Susans sales figures are low. But merely asking him why shes not doing well might prove fruitless. Ask, what areas do you believe Susan can improve in? Method 2: The Power Play Sometimes the individual hesitant to tell the truth is in a position of power. In these situations its usually inappropriate and futile to get argumentative. In such cases you want to bring the conversation to a personal level. Situation: Youre trying to sell to a buyer who doesnt want to buy and is not giving you a good reason that you truly believe. Your objective is going to be to reach the real objection.

I do this for a living. My family depends on me to support them. Clearly we have a fine product and youre a reasonable man. Would you mind telling me what I did to offend you? Now your buyer is caught off guard and will undoubtedly follow with Oh, you didnt offend me. Its simply that? Method 3: Hurt Feelings Someone is lying to you in order to safeguard your feeling perhaps one of those little white lies. A bit of guilt makes the other person, re-evaluate his approach. Situation: You are feeling that the simple truth is being withheld from you for your own benefit. I know you dont want to offend me, but youre hurting me more by not being perfectly honest. If you dont tell me, no one else will. If I cant depend on you for this, I dont really know what I'd do. Method 4: Its A Matter of Opinion The examples below are an excellent means for detecting deceit in a persons opinion. Situation: Youre unsure if your boss really likes your idea for a new advertising campaign, despite the fact that she says she does. Do you like the concept for my new idea? Sure. Its very original. Well, what would it take for you to love the concept? Method 5: I Dont Know This response can stall a conversation and then leave you looking for answers. Sometimes Its just simpler to say, I dont know, which is often why we say it in the first place. In any event, when you hear I dont know, try some of the following responses: 1. Okay, then why dont you tell me how youve come to think the way you do? 2. I know you dont know, but if you were to guess, what do you think it might be? 3. What emotion best describes what youre thinking right now? 4. What one word comes closest to describing what youre thinking?

In all these responses, youre taking the pressure off. You acknowledge the persons difficulty in answering. Afterward you appear to be asking her to provide something else, when in reality your new question is aimed at getting your initial question answered. Method 6: Im Simply Embarrassed The individual may lie to you out of embarrassment. The most common tactics dont work here because the person probably isnt obligated to tell you and most likely has nothing to gain by doing so. Therefore you need to create a reason for telling the truth in an environment that makes him feel at ease. Situation: You believe the new intern mixed up two piles of papers and shredded the documents that were meant to be copied. Nelson, if youre the one who did this, its all right. I remember when I first started here. What Im about to say is between us, okay? Good. One time I made copies of a confidential memo instead of the lunch menu and placed a copy in each persons mailbox. This instantly puts the other individual at ease. It demonstrates you trust him, and he also feels obligated share with you something hes done that he feels uncomfortable with. Method 7: Divide and Conquer This is a situation where there are two or more people from whom you can get the truth. Situation: A number of your sorority sisters pulled a practical joke and you want to figure out who is responsible. Jennifer, who did this, is not important. I dont even care. What's important is our friendship. I would like to know that I can trust you. I think I can, however I need for you to speak honestly with me. Its not that Im so worried about who did it only that you are truthful with me regarding it. If you dont get anywhere with her, go to another person with the exact same speech. Method 8: Professional Reliance When dealing with professionals: Always, whenever possible, get a second opinion. Its simple to do and can save you a lot of heartache. Ensure that the individual is licensed, insured, and registered to do the actual work.

Have your agreement drawn up in writing. Oral contracts arent worth the effort. Ask for referrals or testimonials. If he balks at any one of these points, you may need to take your business elsewhere. Finally, the following strategy should provide you with an accurate understanding of the persons intentions. They key is to ask for the opposite of what you really want. Situation: Lets say that your travel agent suggests the Five-Day Cruise Getaway vacation package for you. Youre hoping to really let loose; you'd like a trip that's nonstop fun, but youre not sure if shes pushing this package for the commission or if she really believes that its a good deal. The brochure looks great, Sandy. I just want to ensure that isn't one of those party boats. Im looking for some rest and relaxation. Is it that sort of trip? By asking your question using this method, you will know the intentions of your travel agent and the answer to your question. If she answers yes, then you'll know the cruise isnt for you or she's lying to get your business. Method 9. I Dont Know and I Dont Care Few things are more frustrating than having to deal with an individual who just doesnt give a damn. Why, because you dont possess a whole lot to work with. Youve got zero leverage. Hes got nothing at risk, so youve got little bargaining power. You merely have to change the equation so hes got something on the line. Situation: You're taking your vehicle to a mechanic and he tells you it will be fixed by Friday. However you just have a feeling that somethings going to come up and it'll be sitting in his garage all weekend. Okay, Joe. Tomorrows fine. Just so you understand, my wife is pregnant and shes due any day. Thats our only car, so if you can foresee any reason why it wouldn't be ready by Friday, youve need to let me know now. Method 10. Most people who lie confide in at least one other person. Its vital that you let this person think that you already know the truth and then add your emotional reaction to it. For instance, some general statements that might be said to the person, whom you believe knows the truth:

1.) Sympathy: I cant believe what Sam did. I'm truly sorry. If theres anything I can do for you or whatever, please let me know, okay? 2.) Humor: Mary, is Joe a magnet for odd things or what? He just told me and I still cant believe it.

Chapter 6 Directing the Conversation

It is possible to steer a conversation in any direction that you choose. You can do this very efficiently with just a few well chosen words. After he produces a statement, you can utilize the following key words to direct the flow of information in any way you choose. They may be utilized to extract information from any conversation. Ask for the Meaning: Saying this word after he speaks directs his thinking and the conversation toward the bigger picture, providing you with a better look at his overall position. He will provide the reason behind the position. And this response gives you more lateral information. You are able to gather additional facts. This response makes him get more specific, giving you the specifics of his position. Now this response makes him translate his position into a specific action. He will begin telling you precisely what he means and how it relates to you. Getting specific sometimes youll get an answer, but it doesnt do you much good. Here are some ways of narrowing it down. 1. In response, to an opinion or belief expressed as, I dont think the meeting went exceptionally well. You ask compared with what or how poorly did it go? 2. In response to a reluctance to commit or when hd says, I dont know if I could. You ask, what specifically, prevents you, or what would have to happen for you to be able to, or what would change if you did let the truth be told? These simple words are more effective than any others. 1.) Use the word because: Were manufactured to accept an explanation as valid if it follows this word. 2.) Use the word lets: This word generates group atmosphere and initiates a bandwagon effect; its positive and creates action. 3.) Use the word try: This little word is a very powerful motivator because it has a, whats the harm, mentality.

For instance, lets give it a try because if it doesnt work we could always go back to the way it was. Clearly you havent introduced any reason for the person to take action, yet it appears to make sense just the same. Dont accuse someone as by saying, why did you take five dollars from petty cash? If you wish to know if he took the money, simply say, the money that we take from petty cash? Lets try to keep it less than ten dollars at any given time, because it works out better that way. Taking Control If in a situation where you're not able to speak because the person keeps talking or interrupting, apply some zingers such as these. They play on two susceptible angles of human nature ego and curiosity. 1.) Youre a smart person; let me ask you a question. 2.) I know that you would want me to ask you this. 3.) Youre the only person who will know the answer to this. 4.) I hope this news doesnt upset you. 5.) Along those lines its an easy task to change conversation when you begin with the others last thoughts.

Chapter 7 Mind Games

A Strong Defense: Avoiding the Lie The optimum time to deal with a lie is before it becomes one. The following is a technique for cutting a suspicion off at the pass before it turns into deception. Method 1: Here is the method you use when you want the truth as it pertains to a persons previous behavior. A possible situation: a parent suspects that her twelve-year-old son is smoking cigarettes. Approach: I know all about the smoking and the sneaking around. Im not happy with that, however I just want you to promise me that you wont consume alcohol until youre twenty-one. This really is undoubtedly the finest approach because it works on many levels. First, it takes a forward assumptive stance the parent knows everything about the smoking. Second, it uses two truisms. The phrases sneaking around and you know Im not happy with that, set the tone for honesty. Your son or daughter hears two things that he knows to be true: He was sneaking around and his mother is unhappy about his smoking. He is therefore willing to accept at face value what follows. Third, the mom gives her son an easy out. All he has to do is promise not to drink and hes home free. Theres no threat or punishment, just honest statements followed by an offer which he believes to be true also. The rules to bear in mind for this procedure are as follows: Assume your suspicion as fact State at least two truisms (facts that you both know to be true) switch the main focus from a threat to a request. The request ought to be simple for him to accept and sound reasonable. Method 2: This method is utilized whenever you want the reality as it relates to a new decision. It's a simple but highly effective strategy to avoid becoming deceived.

Oftentimes someone wants to tell us the truth, but its simpler to tell a lie instead. The individual knows the response you want to hear and will hand it to you whether he believes it or not. However, if he doesnt understand what you want, then he wont be able to deceive you. Read the following examples and see how well the second phrasing masks your true question. Would you like me to cook for you tonight? Do you feel like eating in or out tonight? Im thinking of asking Rhonda out. What do you think of her? What do you think of Rhonda? Know Thy Enemy: Knowing the Liar and His Intentions The following example illustrates a process that is becoming extremely popular in employee screening tests. The questions listed here are asked the potential employee to find out if he is an honest person. If you really wanted the job, how would you answer these questions? Have you ever stolen anything in your life? Have you ever run a red light? Do you have a friend who has ever shoplifted? Many of us would have to answer yes to most of these questions. And that is precisely the answer a potential employee is looking for. Why? Simply because the honest answer is yes for many of us. The employers task is finding those people who are honest about it. Stealing a pack of gum when you were twelve years old doesnt make you a bad person or an undesirable employee. Lets say that Marthas teenage son, who has been out of the home and living on the streets over the past two years, wants to come home. Realizing that her son is hooked on cocaine, she is concerned with whether he can actually clean up his act. She could tell him that he can move back in provided that he enrolls in a drug rehabilitation program. He will probably agree to this whether he intends to do it or not. Instead, she tells her son that he can move back in if he quits cold turkey never doing another drug no matter what. Her sons answer can tell you his dedication to getting well, which is the real concern.

Obviously her son can hardly eradicate his addiction instantly. So if he implies that he can, she is aware that hes lying about his intention to get well. However, if he says that he cant but will make strides toward getting better, she will know that he is sincere in his quest for wellness.

Chapter 8 Advanced Techniques for Getting the Truth

Method 1 Embedded Commands: This method really is easy and has only two criteria. First, for optimum effectiveness the command should start with an action verb, because youre telling the brain to do something. Second, the entire command should be separated from the rest of the sentence using what is called an analog marker. You set the command portion off by one of the following: 1.) Lower or raise the volume of your voice slightly while speaking the command. 2.) Insert a brief pause right before and then right after the command. For instance, sometimes we just become fascinated with what were reading. 3. Gesturing with your hand while you are the giving the command momentarily distracts the conscious mind, and the embedded statement is received by the unconscious mind as a command. Method 2 Unconscious Creations You give a suggestion that creates a perceivable action so you can observe the signs of deceit without continuing to question him. Watch for the behaviors that you embed in the sentences. They will usually occur at some point during your conversation. Im not saying that you should stiffen up your body if youre lying. I dont know if youre lying. Unless you feel like blinking your eyes fast if you are. If you like what youre reading you may smile now Method 3 Disassociation Its the old person who would lie versus the new person who would never hurt you. In your conversation, continue to repeat phrases like the ones below. Make sure that they contrast the old him and the new him. Perhaps the old you was capable of this. But I know you would never do that now. Youre a different person than you used to be. Im sure that youre even more upset with the old you than I am. But youre not that person anymore.

Youre only responsible for who you are today. You are someone who is honest and trustworthy. Method 4 Eye-Accessing Cues This technique works on the following principle. When a person thinks, he accesses different parts of his brain depending upon the information that is being accessed. This process can be observed watching the eyes. For right handed people, visual memories are accessed by the eyes going up and to the left. For a left-handed person, its the reverse: the eyes go up and to the right. When a right-handed person seeks to create an image or fact, his eyes go up and to right. And the reverse is true for the left-handed person. You can use this technique in any conversation to determine if the person is creating or recalling information. Simply watch his eyes and youll know whether hes recalling an event thats already occurred or making up a story about something that has never happened.

Advanced Conversation Stoppers: Trance Phrases

These conversation stoppers use phrases that are mild trance inducers. They cause the listener to zone out temporarily while his brain tries to process the information. They give you some time to collect your thoughts while others lose their train of thought. 1.) Why are you asking me what you dont know for sure? 2.) Do you really believe what you thought you knew? 3.) If you expected me to believe that, you wouldnt have said it. 4.) Do you believe that you knew what you thought? 5.) Why would you believe something thats not true? 6.) Why are you agreeing with what you already know? 7.) Are you unaware of what you forgot?

See For Yourself

The power of expectation and suggestion can be used with tremendous results.

The key to using this technique is to implant an artificial suggestion and let it manifest inside the persons mind. This technique may induce a temporary state of mild paranoia, especially if two or more people make the same suggestion. Situation: You think that a coworker has been stealing office supplies. Samantha, have you noticed that people seem to be looking at you a little funny? You can rest assured Samantha will notice everyone looking at her, and it will consume her attention until she stops.

The End