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I was surprised when Ali called and invited me to the movies. We weren’t very good friends, though we orbited in the same social solar system. But Harkins had given her some free tickets to a prescreening of “The Island,” and she had to go with someone. It was mid-July, and our rich friends had ditched the white hot Arizona sun for islands with delicious names. Barbados. St. Bart’s. Turks and Caicos. Anyway, I was convenient leftovers, and I wouldn’t say no to a free movie, especially if it contained Ewan McGregor kicking major clone booty astride a futuristic motorbike. It was the summer before high school, so my parents had to drive us. We picked her up at her place. I remember that we accidentally wore the exact same shade of green, and that she looked better in it than I did. “So, Ali, how are your parents?” That was my dad. “Oh they’re great, Mr. Ramos! We’re all having a great summer!” Her normal modus operandi is so determinedly cheerful that it seems pharmaceutically enhanced, but she is really just that happy. I remembered why we weren’t better friends. “And are you looking forward to high school as much as my daughter?” At this one Ali and I exchanged a glance. “Um‚ I don’t know.” Maybe she wasn’t so bad. “You should be jumping up and down. It’s the best time of your life, you know.” Another glance. “I suppose.” With their duty as inquisitors fulfilled, my parents turned up the music, leaving us free to indulge in real conversation – a.k.a. talking about guys. Both of us were madly in love with upperclassmen‚ Cole and Brandt, respectively. It was just about the only thing we had in common, the might of our crushes. They left battle scars: Ali’s narrow shoulders sunburnt from hours spent watching Cole from her roof, my fingertips callused from learning jazz guitar to impress Brandt. But even the minutiae of our potential love lives weren’t enough to last the whole drive. Casting around for a topic, I landed on high school. “So, you’re about as thrilled as me about being a freshman, huh?” Ali laughed. “You have no idea how many parents I’ve had tell me it’ll be the best time of my life … and how many high-schoolers tell me it’ll be the worst.” “I know, right! I’m totally terrified. It’s like, you have to get a job, get a car, get a boyfriend, get involved, get great grades so you can get into a great college so you can get a great job.” “Exactly. What happens if you don’t get it all?”
and thunder came so loud it pulled at our ribs. but not right. But if you are like me than every moment seems like a near death experience. “I wish it would rain. We walked out of the theater to wait in the thick. Ali and I had run out of safe. and in my desperation I said. The creature choose his prey very well. Duff. Duff was trembling so hard I swear he had a earthquake in his body. The heat that had smothered the sienna desert pulled away. more than half believing that they would come true too. The only word I caught was. a standard summer orgy of explosions and chiseled actors. shouting all our other wishes to the sky. He took a couple of hurtful tests. Then he went and got the test results. like a blood test. “I wish …. Sometimes I ask myself why I still try.I cursed and I cursed again. when I was at my weakest. I didn’t pay attention to the rest of my life. I absolutely hated it. and that wet dirt mineral smell filled the air. I didn’t see the signs. like we didn’t even know such things as parents existed – we just popped out of test tubes and were spared all that embarrassment. When he walked in his face went from rosy red to paper pale in the matter of seconds. The creature was getting worse. One day I wasn’t feeling very well. Then we screamed and danced like dervishes in the warm rain. It would just leave me out of my . aching night. and suddenly I knew. I don’t remember what happened. X-ray. What could I say? I wish for everything? It was true.There followed a nervous silence. Sweat trickled in that hideously unpleasant way down the small of my back. and we found five minutes worth of material. Heat lightning fractured the horizon. miraculously.” Unbelievably. which hurt the worst. my mom took me to the Dr. so we needed to find a way to waste time. talking too happily and too loudly in our relief. cancer. all I know was that Dr. All of us were trying to look as though we weren’t being picked up by our parents. which felt a little funny and awkward. and a couple others. For a moment Ali and I merely goggled at each other. but it was mercifully cut short by our arrival at the theater. that were just as painful. My Reason Everyone has their moment of dying or near death. superficial things to talk about before the movie. impossibly. He looked straight at my mom and said something so quiet I could barely hear the words that were coming out of his mouth. The movie wasn’t very memorable.” and could not think what for. Afterwards there was about a half hour before my parents’ movie got out. matching green shirts and matching expressions of wonder. out of the blank black sky a solid wall of water whumped down on us. and my mom was hugging me so tight I thought she might drain the life out of me. It was awkward. Almost. In all the bustle of finding seats. All too soon we were quiet again. we could almost forget about it. I looked around for inspiration. hot night under the dim orange lights by the wall of upcoming movie posters with the clusters of other middle school kids. or I ignored them. hoping that it lurked somewhere in the stifling. I mentioned the already thoroughly dissected subject of our high school expectations. I was so desperate to be apart of the popular group. Like it would make a big difference.
I was thinking so much I didn’t even hear my mom open the door. All I hear in my head is “tick tock tick tock” In the early afternoon my mom said she had to run some errands. I was on the end of the cliff and getting ready to jump. That’s what it was like for me. I wasn’t sure if he would ever get the color back in his pale cheeks. Sometimes feeling like it’s moving slower than slow motion. It was heartbreaking. for I didn’t have one. When she walked in I noticed she didn’t have any bags in her hands. and she just didn’t want to tell me. it made tears start coming down my worried face. Every second ticking is ticking your life away until your last second ticks. On the way home my mom made me call about everyone in the whole universe. and she told me everything was just great. Life goes on and on. My parents didn’t tell me that my mom was very very ill and only had a couple months to live. Then I heard something that confused me so much it was too much. I went by the door listening and trying so hard to be silent. and when I say everything I really mean everything. No one has the same one. “Just tell me how long I have. This was horrible every girl can barely live when they only have there dad to rely on. I know something was up. Mom was telling daddy how she visited the doctor today. cancer. I could hear my mom and dad talking in the kitchen. I told my mom everything. Like any of them cared. I have one simple word to say about that. Daddy was a busy man and I only saw him at night so I had to take care of myself for my mom was not with us any more. I said okay and walked up stairs. It started with a C and ended with a R and it’s pronounced. Have your parents ever kept a big secret from you. but it ends up hurting you more because you find out the way you don’t want to. “I don’t know. Some people’s clocks are slow others are fast. when I asked if I could go along she told me to stay home and rest since I had had a long day. She just stood there with tears running down her pure face.” Dr. They probably barely know me. Hearing that my mom had kept that horrible secret from me and I had to learn by eavesdropping. You have 24 hours to live your life. I’m telling you that everyone has a reason to keep on climbing and to keep on living. Duff said that he must have someone else’s paper. looking at the clear tears streaming down her face. As soon as you’re born you're 24 hours start. The illness was the same as mine. That means NO one is normal. I asked her what was wrong. Everyone said how sorry they felt and sent their best wishes. That’s so cheap of them telling me they care. I remember the funeral and the tears streaming like a wild river. mom told me to go to my room and read a book and just relax. For the funeral I had to go out and buy a black dress. Life feels like a clock. I nodded my head as if to say I understood.11484 junaid rool no dcet suffering. Whatever. Duff replied and with that he walked out of the room. She looked into my eyes. I was holding on a thin . Right away Dr. they think it’s so dark and that it will hurt you. So that’s why she had left. I would do it so fast no one would be able to stop me for falling. When people say that you should make every moment count but most people ignore that saying but when their 24 hours are up they regret it sooo much. It was late summer one of the most dreadful summers of all time. When my reason went away I almost did too. A couple minutes later I silently creep downstairs to listen to the conversation. My mom apologized for not telling me right away. When my mom came back an hour later her eyes were blood red like she had been crying. When I feel off the cliff. Or at least it was hard for me. Later when Daddy got home.” I forced the words out of my trembling mouth.
Which was very hard when the person is always working. When people ask me how I climbed up there is only one reason because of my mom and how she wouldn’t want me to give up. When people are off the cliff it’s impossible to get back up. The only one that could pull me back up was my dad. Cancer will NOT kill me because I have a reason to fight and that reason is my mom.branch. My mom will always be my guardian angel and always will watch me. .
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