You are on page 1of 1

Complete the jokes by putting these words or phrases in the gaps provided: half an hour ago the name

that much money tickets piano practice will power will your own coffee history car keys 1 I wish I had enough money to buy twenty elephants > But what do you want 20 elephants for? I don't. I just wish I had _________________________! 2 Mr and Mrs Smith have just arrived at the airport to catch a plane to London. > I wish I had brought the piano with me, said Mr Smith. What on earth for? said his wife. > Because I've left our_______________________ on it! 3 Mary was meeting her friend, Sheila, who was an incredibly mean person. > How are things with you? I'm short of cash at the moment. I wish I had ten pence for every man who asked me to marry him. > Yes, then you just might be able to pay for _________________________ 4 I wish I had been born two thousand years ago. > Why, son? Because there wouldn't be so much to learn. 5 I wish you would stop playing that trumpet. I think I'm going mad! > I stopped playing ___________________, dad! 6 Mrs Arnott is standing on a deserted beach with her two children. She is angry. > You children are always causing problems. I wish you could remember where you buried dad in the sand! Why is that a problem, mum? > Because the________________ are in his pocket and we can't get home without them. 7 Mrs Smith's husband died three weeks ago. A kindly neighbour is visiting her. > And how are you coping now, Margaret? Fine, said Mrs Smith, but my husband's _______________ has caused so many problems that I now wish he hadn't died in the first place! 8 A poor starving man walked up to a very rich, fat lady and said: > I haven't had a single meal all week. I wish I had your________________ , replied the lady as she walked away. 9 Do you like your new flat? > Yes, but I wish my neighbours wouldn't bang on the wall at two o'clock in the morning. That's awful. Does it keep you awake? > No, but it certainly interferes with my _________________________ ! I wish!!