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THE EIGHT HABITS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE: How to Realize Your Dreams in Life, Career and Relationships By Jean Marie Stine A Renaissance E Books publication ISBN 1-58873-044-1 All rights reserved Copyright © 2001 by Jean Marie Stine This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission. For information contact: [Back to Table of Contents]

DEDICATION To David O. Dyer, Sr. A Truly Visionary Publisher [Back to Table of Contents]


[Back to Table of Contents] .

it is these eight alone that will pay off for you. Studies into the life of successful women and men show you don't have to be a genius. without these practices you won't get far. Clarifying Your Goals 2. no different than you. Think about the people you know who have made it on their own terms. Not talent. The person who acquires them truly becomes the absolute master of his or her own destiny. Not education. from business to athletics politics to the arts—are eight habitual ways of responding to the challenges and difficulties inherent in any undertaking. Believing in Your Success 5. and it is what spells the difference between those who achieve their dreams. It is the first time that all eight have been linked and developed as a single system. thrive during adversity. Taking Responsibility 6. and otherwise achieve success—and those who never do. earning a promotion. In the final analysis. goal-achievement and the realization of your personal and professional dreams—whatever they may be. Develop all eight. but research into achievement has revealed there is something far more important than any of these. Each of these plays a role. possess unusual charm. In short. There is a minimum of theory here. the eight habits of highly successful people. The book is intended as a practical guide to the subject of success.INTRODUCTION Everyone wants to know the secret of success. winning the next marathon. becoming a writer. getting a job. or come from the “right” background to succeed in realizing your ambitions. Most are probably ordinary people with average IQs. The book begins with becoming a doer who takes the first step and it culminates with making a habit of taking the final step and crossing the finish line. Bouncing Back from Setbacks 8. Not charisma. Not connections. This “something” that separates winners from runners-up is eight characteristic ways of behaving. Others heredity. step-by-step program for developing these eight habits. Developing Fearlessness 4. There is no substitute for cultivating these eight habits. These eight are: 1. What has allowed these ordinary people to rise to the top—what allows people to rise to the top in every field. and nothing can hold you back from your goals. This book blueprints an easy. of course. Crossing the Finish Line It doesn't matter whether you are dreaming of a retirement cabin in the mountains. Still others say it's education. or saving a shaky business venture. In between it covers the six other characteristics shared by highly successful people. getting a raise. Becoming a Doer 3. Some think it's luck. go to a prestigious college. Generating Enthusiasm 7. It .

Jean Marie Stine [Back to Table of Contents] . but it is based on scholarship as well as firsthand experience. The rest is up to you.focuses on proven techniques for learning the eight habits that you can put to immediate use. This book will show you what you need to do to succeed in life. It eschews academic and psychological jargon.

" Bernice Johnson Reagon "Setting a goal is not the main thing. is a “laser-focused” goal. and some even achieved their target weights—they just gained it back later. Clearly. most will gain it back again. while others never get started at all. according to breakthrough performance authority Art Turock.’” . To modernize an example Napoleon Hill. But by 2000 AD. You achieved the goal you set yourself. in fact. what if. what is it? The answer. defining your goal before you set out—or wherever you might be along the way. most of us make many false starts.’ Not: ‘I want more responsibility. the compass knows only one point—its ideal. + Lose their inspiration along the way. But.’ but ‘I'm going to call five new contacts each week. inflation had reduced the purchasing power that million dollars—by one half. only a rare minority ever seem to lose weight and keep it off. the same goal. often used. of those who do reduce their weight. in 1970 your goal had been to accumulate a bank balance of one million dollars. **** "Setting an exciting goal is like setting a needle in your compass. author of Getting Physical. But. all these people have a goal." Tom Landry **** HITTING YOUR BULL'S EYE: THE VALUE OF A LASER-FOCUSED GOAL Art Turock isn't the only success guru to stress the importance of carefully. and sharply.HABIT #1—CLARIFYING YOUR GOALS Success authorities like supersalesman Zig Ziglar and supercoach Rick Pitino say you'll never achieve your goal if it's fuzzy or ill-defined. you weren't clear in your aims—you should have said the “purchasing power of one million dollars today"—and so you missed hitting your goal dead center. But. when someone's concept of their goal is unclear. And. in her “Working Woman” column. Sommers points out. And it will faithfully guide you there. They can't all be motivationally impaired.’ but ‘I want this promotion. of course. Be specific!” counsels Niki Scott. From then on. Let's say it took you thirty years.’ Not: ‘I want a better support system. to have one million dollars in terms of 1980s dollars. since many of them started.’ but ‘I want this responsibility. For example. “Define the goal. Or consider an example actress and fitness authority Susanne Sommers uses: Almost everyone wants to reduce weight. “Not: ‘I want a promotion. + Fail to get started. author of the classic Think and Grow Rich. experts warn that they can: + Fail to get what they “really” wanted. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan. If their problem isn't lack of motivation.

and Napoleon Hill the key qualities. our goals snap into sharp definition like a blurry image seen through a telescope when the lens is suddenly twisted into focus. For instance. tantalizing. weight-loss and fitness experts like Wayne Dwyer point out that it actually falls short of being a sharply focused goal. It adds more “oomph!” to your motivation and makes you a lot more likely to get going—and hit the bull's eye at the end. of a precisely focused goal are: + A precisely-defined target.) + A precise date when you plan to start. “losing weight. would seem a pretty definite. achievable.) + A precise method for getting there. (Example: Maintain that weight permanently. **** "Are you vague about your goals and values? And do you also find it difficult to stay committed to any one person or project?" Neil Fiore **** The 5 Qualities of a Laser-Focused Goal According to goal-setting experts like Turock.” at first blush. we must have a time frame to complete them. in time for that high school reunion." David Schloss . clear-cut target. (Example: Weighing one-hundred thirty pounds.Although. once reached. “losing weight” fails to address any of the following critical issues: + What is your new target weight? + What is the date you will begin reducing? + What is the target date for reaching your new weight? + What weight-reduction method or program will you use? + How long do you want to retain your target weight? Notice how much more clearer and more focused answering these questions makes your goal? When you stop to think about it. (Example: Six months from now. isn't it? Just telling yourself that you want to “fit into that size five again” or “lose seventeen pounds by May fifteenth” makes your goal sound concrete. but have never done. (Example: The first of next month.) + A precise outcome. (Example: One-half hour of jogging every day.) When we take elements like these into consideration. “reducing weight” is rather vague. Just having the goals is not good enough. Scott. **** "Many people have things they have planned to do for a long time.) + A precise date you are committed to having achieved your goal.

My Target Goal is . but it always proved unrealistic due to his vaulting over-ambition. My focused Target Goal is . They don't fit the pattern of the person defining the goal. 5. As marketing whiz Joe Girard writes. “Many people fail to reach their goals because the goals are unrealistic. is . My Target Outcome is . Kramden always had some cock-eyed. your goal is so unrealistic that your motivation is bound to wane quickly—if you manage to motivate yourself to start at all. are amazed to discover just how much critical detail they have actually left out. authorities in the field of goal-achievement recommend you take the time to work through it. suppose a worker in a city's wastewater treatment plant decides he wants to become an account executive in an advertising agency. My Target Starting Date for taking the first step toward my goal is . In both cases. To continue the reducing theme." . but a more realistic goal-a more achievable one-would be to secure a position on the city's or county's water board. that even if you believe your goal is crystal clear. It's not absolutely impossible. we've all got a bit of Ralph Kramden in us. Combine your answers from 1-5 into a sentence or two stating your goal as completely and clearly as you can. The usual outcome was Kramden angry and humiliated as his dream crashed down around his ears publicly. only to come a cropper because the whole endeavor was unrealistic in the first place. You've doubtless had times when you set out with high good intentions toward a clearly focused goal. 3. the scheme seemed flawless. It is guaranteed to produce a picture of what you want to accomplish that is so laser-sharp you can't possibly miss striking it dead center. just answer in the most general terms. this exercise is so powerful. In his eyes. (Don't try to be precise yet. For example. Hardly an outcome conducive to anyone's success. they say. My Target Completion Date. (Use a piece of paper or computer file. along with an aerobics program. when I intend to have reached my goal. It's not only impossible—it would be downright dangerous to your health to try. of course. without considering whether you have the self-discipline to stick with the regime alone. 4. the great success authorities say. My Target Method for achieving my goal is . out-of-focus goal. For that matter. Or. may be an even more important consequence of setting unrealistic goals than the failure to reach the goal itself. The damage done to motivation and self-esteem.) 1. THE DANGERS OF UNREALISTIC GOALS: THE RALPH KRAMDEN SYNDROME In an early chapter of Success is a Choice. you might decide to exercise at home. The classic exercise is similar to those used by those who know what success means. or because he didn't have the financial resources to capitalize on an idea if it did succeed.**** EXERCISE: FOCUSING IN ON YOUR GOAL You won't ever again need to worry about failing to reach your dream or reap its rewards due to a fuzzy. or his lack of preparation. students who are certain they already have clear picture of their goal in mind. It doesn't do much good to focus in on an objective like losing fifteen pounds in a week. In fact. Someone who's a perpetual failure because their reach always far exceeds their grasp.) 2. We've all known someone like Ralph Kramden. Often. Rick Pitino mentions briefly something he calls the “Ralph Kramden Syndrome. 6. get-rich-quick plan inevitably doomed-to-fail.” named after the television character Jackie Gleason made famous in The Honeymooners.

" Tina Tessina **** HOW AOL FELL VICTIM TO THE RALPH KRAMDEN SYNDROME Companies can experience Ralph Kramden-like moments. With the “Get Real” principle in your reservoir of success techniques. The solution for the Ralph Kramdens of the world. + Your current and past responsibilities at work. The internet giant America on Line found . + Your physical condition or health. They don't fit the pattern of the person defining the goal. + Impractical approaches to achieving it.KEEP IT REAL Rick Pitino. and already been off to a successful start. and the Ralph Kramden in us. + Your level of experience. now and in the past. says that to be realistic. you always will. the more likely you are to achieve them. If we had applied the “get real” principle to the weight reduction example that began this chapter. says supersalesman Joe Girard. **** "Be single-minded and stay focused on your primary goal. These are: + Insufficient time for accomplishing the goal. “Many people. We could have made midcourse corrections early. + Lack of critical resources the task requires. The ‘Get Real’ principle should be part of your goal-setting procedures. The “Get Real” Principle Before starting for your goal. Trying to inspire yourself when your aims are impossible is a waste of time and energy. too.” Girard writes." What is the Get Real principle and how do you apply it? According to Girard it's simply the time-honored principle of scrutinizing your aims closely for the three signs of unrealistic goals. is a healthy portion of what he terms the “Get Real” principle. most success experts caution you to take a few moments to double-check your goal for realism. + Your monetary worth and cash flow (although that is not always a factor). It's like motivation with one hand tied behind your back. “fail to reach their goals because the goals are unrealistic. your goals should be in line with: + Your background. work-related or personal. we might have realized its deficiencies and gotten ourselves on the right track successwise. however sharp the image. + Your education. you're likely to find it difficult to see any of your plans to fruition. The more realistic your objectives and main goal. who led the Kentucky Wildcats to their spectacular 1996 NCAA basketball championship. If you try to accomplish too many things at once.

Part B. Target Method. and be inspired. The company quickly recovered and within three months had connected an ample supply of modems to the AOL system. Yes No Educational background? 3. If “yes". I believe the following elements in my Target Goal may be unrealistic . Post a copy of this statement where you will see. your goal may not be as realistic as you thought and you may wish to take the time to review it. . 1. Whatever goal you set for yourself. It is a lesson Steve Case. Yes No Work experience? 2. They had a means: going from hourly charges to a small. to handle 300 thousand additional logons per day. Part A. Yes No Willingness to make the sacrifices? If you answered “no” to two or more of the above questions. AOL turned loose their advertising campaign. of this exercise.themselves on the wrong end of a big one in 1997. Why? Because they didn't have the resources. my final. the number of modems. EXERCISE: TROUBLESHOOTING YOUR GOAL Is yours an achievable goal? Or just wishful thinking? This classic two-part exercise will help you troubleshoot your aims for unrealistic elements—and then to eliminate them.) 6. It was a disaster! AOL alienated more customers than they gained. Is it realistic in terms of your present: 1. Instead. go on to the second part of this exercise. Based on my answers to Part A. flat monthly fee. AOL had a time frame. they generated nearly 300 thousand in the very first month. Yes No Current resources? 5. a start date and end date. They came up with a great goal: add 100s of thousand of new subscribers. you must consider it from a number of angles. Yes No Available time? 4. Target Outcome. 4. by it every day. reformulated Target Goal can be stated as . Review the statement of your Target Goal produced in the preceding exercise. 2. Target Ending Date. And the subscriptions flooded in! AOL's marketing team had estimated they might garner 100 thousand new members in the first three months. AOL CEO. To make my Target Goal workable I would change each unrealistic element by . Then circle whichever answer to the questions below you feel most accurately reflects the truth about your Target Goal. Yes No Physical condition and health? 7. Then fill-in the blanks below to arrive at summation of your Target Goal that is as realistic as it is focused. Taking the above changes into consideration. Review all the key elements of your Target Goal from Step 6 of the “Focusing in on Your Target Goal” exercise again—Target Starting Date. Yes No Financial position? (This is not always a deciding factor. 3. has vowed publicly he and his company will never forget.

+ Goals beyond your resources and abilities are unrealistic. + A clearly envisioned goal enhances motivation and draws us forward. and result. + Laser-sharp goals have a precisely defined beginning. + How to formulate a focused. [Back to Table of Contents] . end.Recap: + Without a sharp focus. you can't hit your target no matter how strong your motivation. realistic goal in a sentence or two. + Setting unrealistic goals is self-defeating.

” others “being a doer. if I think about something long enough. says that. But a winner goes out and does something. In a nutshell. If we are to be masters of any given situation.. one that involves feelings of pleasure in action.. “As long as you don't quit and give up. Once you realize this. then beggars could ride. “If you want something in life. As P.. “If you're not happy with the size of your network. Talk is cheap. Thinking and feeling do not produce action. you realize you might as well ‘do it. all the principles. and heightened awareness of one's competency and worthiness. the time for pumping yourself up and applying motivational techniques comes to an end—and the time for taking action and actually doing something begins." Yes.” or “A thousand wishes won't fill a bucket with fishes. you have to go for it.” Each makes the point that it takes more than wanting to enroll in Alcoholics Anonymous. you have to plan for it.” Whatever success authorities term it. “I have always held the view that today is the beginning of the rest of my life. techniques.’ of course. It requires getting yourself into gear and taking that all-important first—or next—step. There is a price to be paid for everything. “The key misconception about ‘taking action’ is that thinking. "The secret of success is simple.” turn-of-the-century positive thinking authority James Allen was fond of telling audiences. it's exactly the opposite. or the number of retail customers you have.” Michael Jordan dubs it “being in fourth gear. the sense of actively accomplishing something. As football great Vince Lombardi used to tell the teams he led to victory. you'll succeed. that price is taking action. and this leads to an almost higher state of consciousness. eventually I'll get inspired enough to do it." Frank Tibolt . the amount on your check (or lack of checks). Once action has begun. Action always generates inspiration. or talking about something long enough will lead to the ‘impulse’ that will lead to action or forward motion. feeling.” others the “flow state. it is pertinent that I spring into action now. author of Self-made in America. Many will want to ‘do it. it doesn't work that way. tips. it takes over and becomes unconscious. Everybody talks a good game.’ Many people will try to ‘do it. Move into action. we should not procrastinate .. or to get you that promotion. Inspiration seldom generates action. like “If wishes were horses. exercises and strategies in all the success-oriented books in the world won't do you a bit of good if you don't rise up off your duff and act on them. being a doer is a special state of consciousness all its own. others being “proactive. In fact. Unfortunately. not tomorrow because tomorrow might be too late . In other words. prepare for it and." Multimillionaire entrepreneur John McCormack. all agree that there is a special mental state produced by taking action. or to straighten out that golf slice. failure to act now results in lost opportunities. **** "We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. With this philosophy. But.’ . most important. Do it now!" In the course of achieving your goals.. Action produces thinking and feeling. Samuel Bain writes in Mastering Yourself. And when it comes to reaching your goals or achieving success. those who succeed will ‘do it!’” "Do it now!” counsels optimum performance coach Josh Hinds.. Some call it the “do it now” attitude. then change it.’ Many will almost ‘do it.HABIT #2—BECOMING A DOER Experts on success like to point out that you don't get something for nothing. Nor is McCormack alone in thinking so." There are dozens of ancient folk sayings to the same effect.

+ T-F You blame outside events for your failures. worrying endlessly about “what if. It has been identified as the number one hindrance to becoming a doer. + T-F You feel deprived—always working or feeling guilty about not working. + T-F You talk to yourself in “shoulds” and “have to's. + T-F You have an impossibly long “to do” list.**** EXERCISE: IS PROCRASTINATION A PROBLEM FOR YOU? Procrastination is one of the most common. + T-F You find it hard to stay committed to one goal or project very long. with little sense of choice. + T-F You can't tell whether something is the most important use of your time or not. + T-F You are unrealistic about time. + T-F You talk about starting things in vague terms like “sometime next week” or “in the fall. How big a problem is putting things off for you? Is procrastination a significant obstacle for you? Is it holding you back from what you want in life? You can't get a handle on procrastination until you evaluate its extent." + T-F You feel powerless. + T-F You delay completing projects due to perfectionism. often switch goals for a new one that seems free from problems and obstacles. + T-F You are indecisive and afraid of making a mistake. afraid to admit to mistakes and limitations. + T-F You have insomnia and can't unwind easily. . + T-F You're never satisfied with what you accomplish. never finishing projects on time and arriving chronically arrive late to meetings and events." + T-F Life feels like an unending series of obligations. + T-F You avoid making decisions. Simply answer each question “true” or “false. and easily overcome." + T-F You lose track of how you spend your time. Here. motivation killers. + T-F You are vague about your goals and values. + T-F You are afraid you will always be a procrastinator. drawn from the key characteristics research shows distinguish doers from procrastinators.” fearing you'll be wrong. + T-F You have life goals that you've never completed or attempted. is a quick review that will help you assess the role that delay and indecision play in your life. + T-F You feel unable to control your life.

your efforts are hindered by a significant degree of procrastination. If your score was 15-21. Actually getting in the water can take your breath away. and you are constantly aware that you accomplish far less than you want—or need—to. **** "Doing is a quantum leap from imagining. Thinking about swimming isn't much like actually getting in the water. and can take credit for being a doer. The question then." EXERCISE: COACHING YOURSELF INTO ACTION According to success coaches like Neil Fiore. a highly motivated person who gets things done with dispatch.440 opportunities to start on the things that are important to us or complete those we have already begun. and the tips and exercises in this chapter will help you free it from any remaining impediments. and resistance to authority. Some call these 1. rebellion and procrastination. success authorities say.440 minutes in every day.+ T-F You fear being judged and found wanting. it is probably no news to you that you suffer from an advanced case of procrastination. congratulations! You are already a doer. this leads to resistance.440 golden opportunities this “the greatest gift of all. burden. The good news is that you've still some motivational momentum going for you. That's 1.” too. The defense force inside of us wants us to be cautious. You probably have difficulty starting. Work through the sampler of classic exercises provided in this chapter. Ranking those 1. Hint: Authorities say don't make the mistake of assigning two tasks equal rank. author of The Now Habit. sticking with and completing almost everything your undertake. Procrastination researchers have identified five characteristic negative self-statements that distinguish procrastinators from doers—and five positive counterstatements you can use to coach yourself . and the next time you take this test.440 minutes. Naturally. But don't despair." If your score was 0. to stay away from anything as intense as a new kind of action. But you are occasionally troubled by unwanted moments of procrastination. say procrastination experts. But it's often wrong. Add up the number of questions you answered as “true. the internal mental monologues of people who constantly put off starting toward their goals are filled with negative phrases that create feelings of victimhood.440 minutes by priority—and making the most of them—is essential to success. according to Brian Tracy. If your score was 8-14. or you will lose the one-step-at-a-time focus that is essential to getting things done." Barbara Sher "You are what you do when it counts. they're gone forever. and it categorically avoids anything resembling danger." Robert A. you get a lot accomplished. is not how much time we have for doing thing but how we spend that time. Once we've spent today's 1. you'll find yourself rated a “doer. If your score was 1-7. Heinlein **** THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL Those with insight into accomplishment like to stir audiences to action by pointing out that there are 1. Its job is to protect us.

you will be going against your own inclinations. it's easy if you break it down into small. As Fiore writes. eager to spring into motion.into action. Procrastinator: “I must be perfect." Assuring yourself from the start that you will have plenty of time for jogging." Repeated throughout your day." . You won't feel much like working then." Replace the requirement for flawless performance with the knowledge of your human limits. reading. Just try it and see the physical difference this makes." Telling yourself this guarantees you'll see yourself as the resentful victim of unwelcome demands and obligations that prevent you from participating in the same enjoyments and pleasures as other people. and if you do the job. doable steps. Procrastinator: “This is too big (or too hard)." This is the catch phrase of the underachievers and the “never-starteds. This prepares doers to be tolerant of mistakes when they make them. Procrastinator: “I won't have time for fun. dinners with friends." When you generate fear of making mistakes. say “I choose to return these calls. Doer: “I choose to. “I have to” (meaning “I am forced to—but I don't want to") will give you a sense of being victimized by life that encourages and justifies putting things off. Doer: “I will schedule ample time to play. you are setting yourself up for defeat and inevitable self-criticism. you are saying this is a no-win situation.’ it teaches lessons you cannot possibly learn theoretically and can loosen even the most stubbornly entrenched feelings. Doing not only ‘gets things done. a project that is beyond criticism. Doer: “When can I start?" This phrase conjures up internal images of a racer at the starting line." Carol Lloyd "Ideas without action are worthless. to relax. and what you do will be done reluctantly. your mind naturally responds by putting off projects in order to protect you from failure." Replacing “must” with “choose” liberates you." No matter how daunting a task may be. and appreciate your accomplishments between steps. perfect adherence to a diet." The feeling of being overwhelmed is made worse by focusing on the length or difficulty of the task. This leaves you time to learn. It puts the emphasis on the first step. For example. “If you demand of yourself a perfect presentation. starting. the pressure it takes off your chest. which you can take—and not the dozens or more of steps between you and finishing. if you're at your desk looking at a pile of unanswered mail and a list of unreturned telephone calls. you'll get in trouble. Those who achieve their goals expect there will be mistakes and setbacks along the way. movies." Doer: “I can be human and make mistakes. frequent breaks. **** "Doing is significantly different than not doing. or a spotless home.” It automatically generates internal images of all the steps involved in completing the task. Procrastinator: “I have to. even frequent vacations—and knowing you have something to look forward to—frees you to get started with a light heart. Doer: “I will take this in small." Procrastinator: “I must finish. In essence. and an agitated sense of being overwhelmed. If you don't do it. and to quickly move on beyond their errors. the phrase. easy steps. if at all.

Harvey Mckay **** GETTING INTO GEAR ... IN FOUR EASY STEPS Becoming a “doer,” actually getting yourself going, can sound so difficult as to be a virtual impossibility if you're coming into this book fresh from a long series of abandoned goals. But, going from “don'ter” to “doer” is easy, says sports psychologist, J. Mitchell Perry, author of In the Zone. Below, adapted from Perry's work, as well as coaches like Bill Walsh and Tim Gallwey, are four simple steps that to carry you, even despite your own inertia, from inaction to action. Together they provide anyone powerful impetus to get moving and get doing. 1. Begin with a “kickoff” ritual. No, we're not talking about black magic here, or white magic for that matter. There's magic here all right, but it's mental magic, Perry says, not the supernatural variety. Many sports psychologists emphasize the importance of conscious rituals, which can work on our unconscious to kick us into motion with an additional psychological impetus. Such a ritual “sharpens your focus and creates momentum,” according to Bill Walsh, the San Francisco 49er coach who helped make Jerry Rice the greatest receiver in NFL history. That's why most athletes and teams have some kind of ritual, from group hugs to a rally, before each game. But they're not the only ones. Today, most success seminars, women's groups, male consciousness-raising groups, and recovery groups, begin each session with a ritual. 2. Run a “mental movie” of you performing the activities necessary to reach your goal. When the immortal Jack Nicklaus, with one of the longest series of championship victories in golfing history, was asked for the secret of his success, he always credited the “mental movies” he ran in his head during every game. Prior to each shot, Nicklaus said, he always pictured what he wanted to accomplish with each stroke: the swing, the precise amount of force it would need, the course the ball would follow through the air and where it would roll after landing. 3. Flip your “on-switch” and do it. Get your rear in gear and take the next steps toward your goal. After finishing this exercise, do the very first thing you can that will help you make some concrete progress in the direction of your dreams. You can rely on the momentum you have developed with steps 1 and 2 to carry you into action. 4. Celebrate each successful step with a ritual. Each time you complete an important step—losing one pound, spending a half-hour familiarizing yourself with the materials you will be drawing on for your financial analysis, an hour's practice at the driving range, each twenty-four hours without a drink for the first month, distributing flyers for your proposed home business—celebrate it with a ritual. The sense that our successes are important enough to be acknowledged with a special event or celebration in itself adds additional fuel to our motivation. Incorporate these four strategies in your life, and you will find yourself developing into that sparkplug of accomplishment, a self-starter for whom doing things, rather than being a difficulty, is simply second nature. **** "He who hesitates is lost." Folk saying **** THE 7 BIGGEST TIME-WASTERS AND TIME-SAVERS It's difficult to become a doer if you are losing a significant portion of each day to time-wasting activities.

You may be eager to get out of the starting gate, but if you are spending most of your time spinning your mental wheels, you won't progress very far toward your dreams. Performance and productivity experts have pinpointed what they say are seven of the biggest time-wasting activities today. If becoming a doer is your ambition, replace these time-wasters with their timesaving counterparts: Time-waster: People phoning during your exercise time, working hours, or other key activities to talk. Time-saver: Don't answer the phone, screen your calls; that's what answering machines are for. You have a right to time you need to achieve your goals. Time-waster: Meetings that run on too long. Time-saver: Try to set time limits, and see to it that they begin and end on time. Time-waster: Telling detailed anecdotes and offering long-winded explanations. Time-saver: Be brief and to the point, it saves time. Time-waster: Writing lengthy letters or e-mails when a brief memo will do. Time-saver: Be succinct. Howard Putnam, former president of Southwest Airlines, found most business correspondence could be covered in ten sentences or less. Time-waster: Television and the internet. Said to be the two biggest time-wasters in the world today. Time-saver: Apply the time spent on them to your goals, instead, and you'll see them achieved in short order. (Of course, everyone deserves to relax, so experts say pick one show per night, or log on for a set-limit, like half an hour or forty-five minutes.) Time-waster: Obsessively preparing or researching. Some people always feel that they need one more book, one more seminar, one more video, before starting. Time-saver: Get started. You can, and will, learn as you go. Time-waster: Taking breaks too often or too long—lingering over lunch, socializing too frequently with colleagues, hanging around too often at the water cooler—won't help you make much progress toward your goals. Time-saver: A little breather every couple of hours is beneficial. So, take your break, after all, you earned it. But, then get back in focus on your goal. Time-waster: Too few breaks. Time-saver: Do take that breather. If you work at anything too long without giving your mind and body a break, performance takes a slide. A few minutes off can switch you back on. "DOING IT NOW"—SOME FINAL TIPS If you are still having trouble getting started on things, performance experts offer these final tips for getting yourself up out of your chair, and into action taking those all vital first steps toward your goals. 1. List three actions you can take now—in the next ten to thirty minutes—that will start you on your way toward making your dreams realities. They could include logging on the internet to enroll in those night courses you've been thinking about, or making a phone call to your local health club, or logging on the

internet to find out more about that new franchising opportunity, or staying one hour later at work tonight and every night until you get that promotion, or even phoning that job search service, even using visualization to help reduce your craving for nicotine. 2. List three more steps you will take toward your goals before you go to bed tomorrow night. 3. List ten additional steps you will take before the next week is out. 4. Put this book down, and get into action. Take the first three steps listed in # 1. above—make that call, begin that jogging regime. Whatever it is, do it now! **** "Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." H. L. Hunt "If it is to be, it is up to me." Anonymous **** Recap: + Eventually, you just have to “do it." + Fear of failure is a major cause of procrastination. +You can coach yourself into becoming a “doer” by using the right words. + A “kickoff” ritual can help launch you into action. +To become a “doer” it's critical to eliminate time-wasting activities. [Back to Table of Contents]

" Dorothy Thompson **** FEARLESSNESS: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SUCCESS AND FAILURE Freeing yourself from fear. all insensate fangs. As Zig Ziglar says. Imagine yourself sauntering down a pleasant country lane on a warm sunshiny afternoon. of being beaten by a superior opponent. The fear of losing.” Or.” You must do the thing you think you cannot do. ironically. “Often the difference between success and failure is not one's better abilities or ideas. author of the bestselling self-help book Psycho-cybernetics puts it. courage. “afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Abraham Zaleznik." **** "You gain strength. And sometimes. carries a responsibility with it. from “fear of success. Waitley writes in The New Dynamics of Winning. imagine that you turn a bend in the path and there. successwise—every time. we are held back. “No salesman ever became great until he mastered his fear of that unseen prospect behind the door. but as performance authority Dennis Waitley says. happy. ‘ Eleanor Roosevelt "Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” Many people are unconsciously. and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. rearing above you. it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the ‘someday I'll’ philosophy. of pain. It doesn't matter whether you are trying to stop smoking or attempting to fight off a corporate takeover. Fear has the power to stop us in our tracks. The fear of losing a current job and not being able to find one as good often keeps people from actively seeking better employment opportunities." Harvard psychologist. You feel excited. as Maxwell Maltz. not from fear of failure. is the most ferocious grizzly bear you have ever seen. doubt and worry is said to be essential if you want to retain the motivation necessary to reach your goals. eager to climb the hill and eager to reach the far side. turning to escape? What happened to your motivation to mount the hill and reach the other side? That. but the courage that one has to bet on one's ideas. the great successes of the world say this principle holds true for every aspect of motivation. I can take the next thing that comes along. and on the other side lies a picnic ground where all your friends have gathered for a big bash. “I lived through this horror. Ahead of you rises a hill. found mastery of fear constituted a key element of the . claw and slavering death. You are able to say to yourself. according to Trine is the power fear has over our intention to achieve our goals. to take a calculated risk—and to act. often keeps athletes from unleashing their full potential or emerging victorious.HABIT #3—DEVELOPING FEARLESSNESS Here is the way pioneer in the study of success Ralph Waldo Trine helped readers and lecture audiences vividly picture the fears and doubts kill motivation. Now. Because success is heavy. When our worries and concerns come in—motivation goes out. The fear they won't finish or that the results won't last often keeps people from starting on fitness programs. How do you feel now? Flooded with fear? Wishing you were anywhere but here.

It has become clear that they do not perceive danger where others fear to tread. Darby began operations immediately. of bankruptcy. ended. After a while." Lori Hard "Most of our obstacles would melt away if." **** "Do not fear to step into the unknown. “seek out risk on purpose. But. and asked an acquaintance who was a geologist and mining engineer specializing in gold and other mineral deposits for help. Overnight. They have no fear of failure. His miners were bringing up nothing but plain ordinary rock. I became a better person and a better football player when I learned that lesson. R. and sold the property. became bitten by the gold bug. himself.” “Successful entrepreneurs. It's not part of their makeup. paid off the miners. U. Instead. most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. of losing his newly acquired fortune and comfortable way of life—if he prolonged the fruitless search much longer. “Fear can be conquered. This man understood how veins of minerals became broken and separated when rock formations shifted. For where there is risk. DARBY It's a story shared often among success pundits. we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them. The mine owner had millions in the bank. Courage might seem a quality you have to be born with to possess. along with all equipment and fittings. Darby sent in teams of geologists and expert drillers who tried to pick up the vein or some branch again. Darby became a millionaire. while prospecting in Colorado. He was plagued by fear of going broke. Darby lost confidence and surrendered to his fears. We all need some form of deeply rooted. to a junkyard dealer. U. Then suddenly. Darby." Les Brown **** FEAR AND FORTUNE: THE STORY OF R. geologists and expert drillers. and his miners carted out thousands of dollars worth of ore every hour. After examining the mine and the surrounding rock formations. powerful motivation—it empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams. they bring the inspiring news that anyone can learn to banish their doubts and fears. experts say this just isn't so. All this added a further drain on Darby's exchequer." Orison Swett Marden "When you face your fear. the engineer announced that in his professional opinion the gold vein ought to begin again about three feet from where Darby had stopped digging. there is also reward. living among riches. only months later.” he says. Finally. discovered one of the richest veins of gold in history. Darby panicked. but continuing to operate the mine was an enormous drain on his resources. the Junkyard owner. the legendary gold-hunter. and he had the resources to measure how great that shift might be. As record-setting pro footballer Roger Craig tell audiences. ." Developing this brand of fearlessness yourself might seem an impossibility. Sometime around the turn of the century. without any prior indication—Darby's vein of gold gave out.“entrepreneurial spirit. instead of cowering before them. He closed down the mine for good.

then fear is.The junkyard owner knew how many hundreds of thousands of dollars Darby had already spent attempting to locate that vein. + I'm afraid of making a fool of myself. How often have doubts and worries undercut your attempts at success? How many of your own dreams and plans never came to fruition because of fear? To find out what role it plays in your own motivational difficulties. he would be forced to mortgage the mine as well as his junkyard. were any due to fear? + Of the times you gave up along the way. were any due to fear? + Of the times you reached your goal. were any due to fear? + Of the times you quit. + Of the times you never even started toward an important goal. + I'm afraid I might not be doing the right thing. IS FEAR UNDERMINING YOUR MOTIVATION? Everyone has times when they compromised their dreams and settled for second-best—or even nothing at all—because of fear. were any due to fear? If you answered “yes” to two or more of the above questions. EXERCISE: TRANSFORMING FEAR TO COURAGE WITH "POSITIVE-OPPOSITES" . How many sound typical of you: + I'm afraid I'll fail. He hired a crew of drillers and set them to work. but were unable to make the rewards permanent. + I'm afraid something will go wrong. answer the questions below. The junkyard owner's courage was rewarded. indeed. The junkyard owner was now the owner of one of the richest veins of gold ever found. + I'm afraid of what others will think. + I'm afraid it will take too long. I'll be worse off. were any due to fear? + Of the times you delayed beginning. + I'm afraid I'm not good enough to succeed at this. the junkyard owner would lose everything. + I'm afraid it's too difficult for someone like me. he decided to face down his fears and take the risk. But. If the geologist proved wrong. and would eventually make millions from it. only to learn that you could have succeeded if you had persevered. His workmen struck the end of the broken vein within inches of where the geologist had predicted. 9 CRITICAL FEARS THAT KILL MOTIVATION DEAD Studies show that nine fears block success more often than any others. To finance a search of his own. + I'm afraid that if anything goes wrong. sapping a significant portion of your motivational energies.

turning away). Write it down here. Now answer the following two questions.Here is an exercise that will show you how to literally turn your fears around and transform them into courage. switching jobs. long before we react consciously. (Your goal might be asking for a raise. By altering that image (a slim you. Picture the situation that typically arouses this fear. without special preparation. (You were probably standing or sitting normally. at first blush it sounds too simple to be really effective. Relax for a minute. where you were. Creating positive-opposites basically strengthens motivation by replacing mental pictures of yourself responding fearfully with images of yourself responding fearlessly. what your emotions and thoughts were.) 3. and when it comes to long ingrained responses (like eating sweets when we see them). (It might be walking toward your boss's office with the intent of requesting a raise. Namely that in any situation. Focusing in on Your Fears 1. it automatically produces an image of us responding that way. answer the following question. Part I. try to fully recall the precise moment when your fear was triggered. Creating positive opposites is recommended as an ideal way of changing replacing bad habits. in your office. When it comes to things we are afraid of. acquiring desirable new behaviors. the expression that came on your face. Like so many success techniques. slow breaths. 5. what's holding you back might be fear of “failing and looking ridiculous. feeling good. Picture the situation as it was just before the fear entered your mind. What outcome do I fear resulting? . a concern so strong that it seriously undermines your motivation—one you want to replace with courage." The technique is based on a well-established psychological finding. psychologist S. the mind produces an image of how we should react—and we respond in accordance with that image. **** "If you have not been scared for a while you are playing it too safe. this transformative exercise has roots in both neurolinguistic programming and cognitive therapy. and “triggering” by others.D. and building confidence. What happened then? How did you change? Try to remember how you stood then. what was happening around you and where you were. But. any place. Fear is always present when you are . the expression on your face. in Unlimited Power. What fear thoughts do I hear myself thinking? . the mind automatically produces pictures of us failing or fleeing. what was happening around you. Pick a fear you have related to realizing an important goal (a better golf game. What is the fear I most want to transform into courage? 2. with the typical din of fellow workers around you. Gordon. proposing marriage. thinking about why you deserve an increase in salary.) 4. Now. describes it as “a powerful way of transforming personal behavior. even in the midst of meetings and crowds. Close your eyes and take a couple of deep. It has other advantages: You can use it any time. your emotions and thoughts. “swishing” by others like Anthony Robbins. Called “creating positive-opposites” by learning systems consultant Ronald Gross. Try to remember the way you stood. author of Peak Learning. starting a new business). with a neutral or positive expression. we can alter how we react.") Then.

its opposite will be a positive belief. 3. feel your confident and courage. fear of failing to get a raise and looking ridiculous as a result. and that it becomes harder . Success experts say that you will notice almost immediately that that positive-opposite becomes your new belief. your mind instantly begins “broadcasting” your positive-opposite until it takes hold of your brain and body. how you would perceive things around you. Replacing Fear with Courage 1. “I want to experience courage instead of fear—and I will!” This help's set the mind's switches for making a change. 4. What confident thoughts do I hear myself thinking? . breath more deeply.risking. picture vividly how it affects your body and mind. Part III. 4. Take a moment to re-experience the fear you want to transform. Then say out-loud to yourself. Again. Remain in the fear state—but begin to envision a small. what your emotions and thoughts would be. since your fear is a negative belief. Now answer the following two questions. feelings. 3. Now. Visualize the same situation. Focus your will power on your fervent desire to transform that fear into courage and confidence. the expression on your face. Creating a Positive-Opposite 1. 6. Imagine the positive opposite gaining energy as it gets ready to replace the limiting state. distant image of yourself as you were when you experienced your positive-opposite. slow breaths. (In the example above. What is the positive-opposite of my fear?. relax for a minute. Posture. Repeat steps 1-4 three times. blinking your eyes rapidly several times." Roberta Caterian **** Part II. Remember. This is the key step. Today's risk is tomorrow's cakewalk. Picture your positive-opposite instantaneously flashing toward you and replacing your fear. close your eyes and take a couple of deep. its “positive-opposite” might be “a rock-solid belief that I will get the raise and emerge looking and feeling a success. 5. picture that when you begin thinking about asking for a raise. Sit straighter. What positive outcome do I believe will result? . Again. the exact antithesis of that fear. Let yourself experience the negative thoughts and feelings your mind is broadcasting. 2. again in detail as it was just before the fear assailed you. immediately change your posture. expression. To reinforce this state. Write down the opposite of the fear you decided to transform to courage in Step 1 above.") Answer the following question. thoughts. expression and manner to reflect those you saw when you first pictured your positive-opposite. 2. surroundings. Risking is a skill necessary to succeed in business. What would happen then? How would you change? Try to visualize how you would stand.

in mid-game. breath focus techniques like this will help you two ways: They will stop your mind from cluttering up your consciousness with fear.” But by using the breath as a focusing device. without disrupting that meeting or game. According to Robbins. Eventually. That's probably what is so effective at our workshops. or that first crisis without a drink to brace you? You can't stop for a fifteen-minute visualization break then. When I ask. They will help induce the state of focused awareness that success gurus say is essential for both enhanced performance and optimum responsiveness to challenge and threat. ‘Are you scared. too?’ ‘You bet your sweet life I am. “occur only when the mind is imagining what the future may bring. People in all walks of life—from CEOs to athletes—use classic breathing techniques as a powerful way of controlling and abating fear. In the Inner Game of Tennis. ‘Who else feels like this?’ the whole room of hands goes up. play. threat and crisis. Everyone else is. too. With this mental preparation. positive behavior.and harder to put yourself back in your original fear state. Tim Gallwey joins the list of those who endorse breath focusing techniques. this should have the desired effect. you can draw on its calming power in any situation. try repeating the image switching process rapidly on the spot another half-dozen times. worry and other negative emotions when they occur. each time you repeat these steps. Once you have completed this exercise. no matter how well-trained or prepared. or if the image isn't strong enough to alter your behavior initially. I started asking people. . when there is no immediate problem. or facing that new client. People realize they are not the only one who feels that way. They are a natural response when faced with challenges. if this fails to trigger the image. your mind should instantly produce a picture of the new. “Whether on or off the court. uncertainty and doubt." Stan Dale **** TAKING A BREATHER FROM FEAR Everyone. At other times. **** "It all changed when I realized I'm not the only one on the planet who's scared. you can bring your mind back to the here and now. Whether it's on the bus. There are manifold strategies for sitting down at leisure and inoculating ourselves against our misgivings.’ ‘Aha. Try the following strategy next time you become prey to doom and gloom scenarios at work. immediately take action. or when you are called on during a meeting. Make a physical move toward putting your new belief into action. so that's the way it is for you. a propensity for imagining the worst can begin to plague us with uncertainty and worry.’ We were all in the same boat. But what about when fear assaults us in the middle of a critical situation: while we're in the midst of an important game. home or in any other circumstance where you have to find peace of mind in the midst of others. too. And since no one but you is aware of your breathing pattern. or doing a contentious conference. I know of no better way to begin to deal with anxiety than to place the mind on one's breathing process. experiences moments of fear. Gallwey says. instead. in the future when you find yourself in a situation that would have previously elicited your old response. Fear and anxiety. as the occasion arises.” Gallwey writes.

attention focused only on your breath. shift it back gently once again to your breathing. + Which of the 9 most common fears is undermining your success efforts. + The difference between success and failure is fearlessness. Let yourself be aware of every breath. your mind should be settling into a state of calm and mental quiet. Any time your attention begins to wander back to the subject of your fears. Continue to focus more and more of your awareness into the experience of breathing. but simply focus your attention on your breath. **** "The irony is that the person not taking risks feels the same amount of fear as the person who regularly takes risks." Peter McWilliams **** Recap: + A key to success is conquering your fears." [Back to Table of Contents] . Don't alter your breathing in any way. 4. 3 Let your hands open slightly when you inhale and close slightly when you exhale. in some other world. and so many others. and your former terrors and concerns should seem far away. 1. 2. Avoid forcing it and you will find that your fingers do this naturally of their own accord. By now. 5. every second while you are breathing.Here is the classic breathing technique. + How to turn your fears into courage with “positive-opposites. used by this world-famous tennis coach.

and wise men and women of all nations have cited the crucial role beliefs play in our happiness and success. In other words they are operating with a limiting belief as to their athletic ability and the level of performance they are capable of achieving. athletes. even physicians believed that the human body did not have the physical capacity to run a mile in less than four minutes. As Nathaniel .” writes career consultant Marcille Gray Williams in The New Executive Woman. so he becomes. physical attributes to their competition." Ruth Ross **** YOU CAN .. yet they're consistently being outperformed. "As a man thinketh in his heart. Those shackles are our beliefs—and those shackles can be broken.. Banister believed he could break the four minute record—and did. That's the message success authorities have been giving us for centuries. “One of the more frequently complaints I hear from athletes." Many success authorities have likened the mind to an elephant. Hill's statement is considered by success gurus as “one of the most powerful truths ever spoken.” the Bible tells us. “What the mind of man can conceive and believe. philosophers. World renowned successes. religious figures. even when the shackles are taken off. We. it comes to believe it can't run away.HABIT #4—BELIEVING IN YOUR SUCCESS You can't succeed if you don't believe. Once an elephant has been captured and learns it can't escape from its iron shackles. if not superior. from work to love to relationships to health. trainers. In many of these cases the factor that separates their performance from the competitions has been found to be rooted in their belief as to their ability to outperform the competition. “is frustration that they possess identical. how we think.” writes sports and business consultant Joe Kolezynski. IF YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN! In every area of life.” Napoleon Hill says. and how well—or poorly—we perform." Michael Korda "We won't even attempt to achieve what we do not believe at a deep level we can have or deserve. Elephants never forget—and that can be an insurmountable obstacle to the elephant sometimes. The same is true of people. **** "In order to succeed. “To succeed in today's business environment . you must imagine yourself a success. he can achieve. The four-minute mile was seen as an absolute physical limit that could never be transcended.” Here's an inspiring example of the transformative power of belief to create success. Since Banister accomplished this feat.. and runners everywhere have come to believe the four-minute mile is possible. an anecdote that many lecturers on success to recount: Until 1954. All authorities on success and achievement endorse the idea that what limits us in life is not our abilities—but our beliefs about those abilities and what we can and can't accomplish with them. too. and believe that you can be.. what we believe about ourselves and our abilities largely determines how we feel. we must first believe that we can. over twenty thousand people have duplicated his success. cannot seem to break away from the mental shackles that limit us in life. experts say. Then along came a medical student named Roger Banister.

When these unconscious beliefs are false or unreasonable. and your ability to succeed in your future endeavors. It's no wonder we fail. we tend to approach all our actions half-heartedly and reluctantly.” writes pioneer success author Hyrum Smith. Robbins exhorts audiences.” agrees therapist Edward Longo.” explains psychologist Maria Arapakis in Soft Power. find lasting love. they get you in trouble by leading to faulty. already flinching from expected failure. then all things become possible. according to Anthony Robbins. success feeds on success and generates more success. you may be oblivious to the under-the-surface beliefs that give rise to your thinking. And. “Any time you're not getting what you want out of life. Imagine you begin believing with every fiber of your being that you will succeed." When we start with a belief that we are not good enough. You can. When we put out that kind of effort." **** "If you really believe in yourself. misleading assumptions and conclusions. "Our minds hold us captive. are outside our self-concept. The opposite side of the coin." . unconscious beliefs. and the payoff success. if you think you can't." As Orison Swett Marden put it more than one hundred years ago. The more you believe you can't. “The greatest barrier to achievement and success is not lack of talent or ability but. The greatest barrier to love is the secret fear that we are unlovable." How can beliefs hold us back from our goals like this? “Thinking that occurs on the surface of your mind is influenced by a vast network of underlying. “You can't. the fact that achievement and success. How much of your potential would you use then? How would you feel then? Would your efforts be reluctant and halfhearted? Or. our beliefs can become set." Fred Fengler and Todd Varnum **** ARE THESE THREE KEY LIMITING BELIEFS HOLDING YOU BACK? If you can't stick with a recovery program." Dick Kazan "Beliefs are self-fulfilling. or bust your sales quota—it's because you don't believe you can. you must have a belief that is clouding your window. its no wonder sales wizard Art Williams identifies lack of belief in themselves as the “number-one problem” that keeps people from succeeding in the United States today. if you think you can. Robbins hails this as “the opposite of the vicious cycle. our image of who we are and what is appropriate to us. the harder it gets. above a certain level. “Because of conditioning. Any situation that isn't working for you is driven by a false belief. If you believe you can manifest something then your manifestation will happen easily. the results are bound to be positive more often than not. or worthy enough. In this case. depriving us of all hope. and each success creates more belief and momentum to succeed on an even higher scale. rather. would you be excited? Energized? Buoyed by high expectations of success? You'd probably be using a good deal of your potential then. is the power of belief to carry us to success. that in turn does wonders for your self-confidence. of even attempting to change our ways. or lucky enough to succeed. make your business profitable. The greatest barrier to happiness is the wordless sense that happiness is not our proper destiny.Brandon notes. And. “While you are usually aware of a good deal of your top-level thoughts.

. which seriously reduces the motivation to try. **** "If anything haunts me it's probably a point where I limited what I could accomplish through my own mind set. no one can hold you responsible for not doing something if you “don't know how. not lack of motivation. or win out over a serious competitor . education. we are all valuable. Whether it's that unfulfilled dream to start your own business. I don't know how to succeed because. we often sabotage ourselves. we don't expect to get. sexual-preference. After all. you have a built-in reason for taking the easy way out and giving up. + We have to get back that childlike belief in ourselves—again. undeserving. or anything else. Anthony Robbins.) I can't succeed because. In truth..What kind of beliefs could be holding you back from success in life? Here are what success authorities like Nathaniel Branden. what we don't feel we deserve. religion.. If we want to win. + We have get back that childlike ability to dream—again." Alice Dear **** THE POWER OF BELIEVING James Allen said that as children. And. then we have to reconnect with that childhood faith. + We have get back that childlike ability to see ourselves doing something special with our life. it is lack of a detailed blueprint for becoming a millionaire that holds you back. race. from having. + We have get back that childlike belief that we deserve to win—again. physical disability. HOW TO REWRITE YOUR MENTAL “BELIEF” PROGRAMMING . if you can't succeed. people who have the will to succeed. bursting with unique talents and virtues. society. Wayne Dyer and others say are the three key misconceptions that limit our achievements. along with what experts say are the real truths that counter these beliefs. what's the point in prolonging the agony? In truth. Parents. + We have get back that childlike ability to see ourselves winning—again. In truth. we believed in our abilities and success. I'm not worthy to succeed because. This excuses everything.. go out and acquire the knowledge they need. being somebody. albeit subconsciously. who deserve the successes that can be ours in life.” Thus. can all conspire to make us feel inadequate. (Following each is a description of how the belief shackles your success. wicked. the world is filled with famous people have succeeded with handicaps far worse than yours—whether it's poverty. being successful—again. Psychologist Nathaniel Branden says in Taking Responsibility that millions of people are blocked from the success they deserve because of this self-denigrating belief.. even the media.. What we don't deserve.. They don't sit around doing nothing waiting for it come along. he remarked. or muster the self-discipline to stay with a fitness program. wonderful human beings. Anytime the going gets tough on the road to achieving your ambitions..

if you desire to change an unresourceful/limiting belief into an empowering belief. feelings.But how do you get to the point where you can believe in your own success? Especially if that's the exact opposite of what you have been believing? Quite simply.” it can take some time before new beliefs become automatic and replace those that may be holding you back." Since your older beliefs are much larger “mental files." **** "The minute you start talking about what you're going to do if you lose. The following classic exercise will help you become familiar with all the steps involved. Reject negative. feelings. Your skills and knowledge. erasing self-defeating beliefs and replacing them with positive new beliefs. Say out loud. Tell yourself again and again until you believe and then with a little work thrown in it will be so. is modifiable. Pick one you want to work on eliminating. what you think can actually change your brain. whatever you believe or don't believe about yourself. Begin by consciously banishing your old beliefs. damaging beliefs and that cause you to feel and act like a predestined failure. according to neuroscientist Jeffrey Schwartz. “if you talk your mind into believing. If we do that." It's not enough to merely create an empowering new belief. confident beliefs. and will be replaced by calm." George Shultz **** EXERCISE: ERASING YOUR NEGATIVE BELIEFS Our beliefs—positive or negative. who writes that altering the way you think. “Whatever you are today. we should pause a few moments and consciously tell our minds to “erase” the unwanted belief. uplifting beliefs and you will feel and act positively. However. attitudes. some success researchers note. Instead. “are literally etched into our brains in comfortable grooves or neural pathways. you must rewire the negative neural track created in the brain. This may seem overly simplistic. and . Neuroscientists like Schwartz now believe that learning—including the formation of negative beliefs about yourself—involves the creation of new neuronal patterns within the brain. can alter the biology of the brain. Once your subconscious mind has been programmed with positive beliefs about yourself it will convert those positive belief into the realty that you desire. When you begin focusing on a positive belief different from but related to an earlier negative belief. “My old negative beliefs. Joe Kolezynski points out. By now you probably know which of the three key limiting beliefs typically hold you back from success.” success coach Joe Kolezynski writes. Tell yourself over and over again that you are achieving the goal that you have set. you have lost. “Repetition. your beliefs about your capabilities—none of this is etched in stone." "It can also be that way with your goals. Instead. neuroscientists point out. It is completely open to transformation. As Robbins writes. attitudes and responses about my ability to succeed are now erased from my subconscious. Let's say you're self-esteem is low and you just don't have the feeling you can ever succeed at the big things in life. these patterns are not indelible like the grooves on an old-fashioned phonograph record. But. the undesirable old belief will remain deep in the unconscious. start choosing positive. they are more like the electromagnetic patterns on a computer disk that can be repeatedly and endlessly modified. Therefore. your brain automatically rewrites your old belief program to take the new input into account.” Longo says “will engrave your beliefs—conscious thoughts—onto your subconscious mind. 1.

Believe in yourself and your ability to do the things you want to accomplish. Dare to make your dreams become reality.” it is almost universally endorsed by those knowledgeable in success. but not mentally taxing." With those words. L. **** "If you've got belief in yourself. and I'd like to know the secret of becoming a big success like you. but I think I have thought a lot about success. that I have the confidence that I am as good as many people who have already succeeded—and better than some. Donald Duck. like organizing your sock-drawer. Refocus by engaging in positive. These three steps are: A—focus on the activating event. A young boy went up to a world-famous celebrity. Called variously “ABCs of personal expansion. Dream about the things that you can accomplish. “Believe. liberating beliefs that enhance your chances for success. B—identify the underlying belief. Williams **** AND OF THESE. “I don't think I'm the smartest man in the world. based on the belief in yourself.” Find something beneficial. Dare. The late motivational speaker Richard Berne referred to this as “sorting your sock drawer. As far as my beliefs about my ability to succeed in my endeavors goes. "The third word is dream. Think about how you are going to accomplish them. and the thinking you've done about how to accomplish your goals. I have but one desire—and that is. you're richer than the Rockefellers" A." EXERCISE: THE ABCs OF PLANTING LIBERATING BELIEFS Success experts from Ralph Waldo Trine through Larry Wilson and Ken Blanchard have stumbled on the same powerful three-step process for planting positive. and the thinking you've done about how to make them come true. and said. C—change the belief.responses. and I think the secret can be wrapped up in four words: "The first is believe. visionary founder of Disney Studios and Disneyland. Think. And of these. constructive activity for fifteen minutes. creator of Mickey Mouse. ‘Belief’ is the greatest. “I understand you're the smartest man in the world. based on your belief in yourself." 2. This gives your unconscious time to absorb the new belief.” or the “ABC's of transforming your belief systems. Dream. THE GREATEST IS “BELIEF" Here is a timeless anecdote concerning the transformative power of belief.” or the “ABCs of self-transformation." The famous man looked down at the boy and answered. Walt Disney. . "The second word is think. shook the little boy's hand and repeated. "The fourth word is dare.

you can do it.” Ken Blanchard reminds us.) 2.” Arapakis writes. Worry or self-doubt as to whether your belief system is changing only raises blocks to the subconscious accepting it fully. when you suspect irrational thinking is at work. too!” Say this from five to twenty times." **** "As long as you can envision the fact that you can do something. “Many people have changed professions successfully late in life. really believe. [Back to Table of Contents] . a quick review. If it's not working. sit upright in a comfortable chair. Believing a solution paves the way to solution. What can you do to make life work? Look at what is happening to you. a time when you failed or had difficulty. + You can “rewrite” beliefs like you do a PC file.. This is a variant of “I can't succeed because .To prepare. we can. but you eventually dropped out.” (For example. “ Michael McCarthy "Believe it can be done.. dreaming of changing from insurance to the legal profession. when all is said and done. Focus in on your thinking as it occurred in the situation to uncover which of the four key limiting beliefs is responsible for undermining your motivation. "Remember. where beliefs you implant will sink in deeper and take more immediate hold. Be patient. Review what experts say about this belief. It is important to trust this process and give it time to reprogram your beliefs completely. But. you started to take courses in law at night. review your thought process retroactively. When you believe something can be done. might show you that you dropped out of your legal classes because felt you would be too old by the time you passed your bar exams. (For example. as long as you really believe it 100 percent. “you are responsible for the condition you are in. + Consciously direct your mind to erase unwanted beliefs." David Schwartz **** Recap: + If we believe we can do something. your mind will find the ways to do it. “thinking happens so fast you have little or no awareness of what has transpired until after the fact. “Sometimes. look at your belief system and see how it affects your life. + Believing they aren't worthy to succeed holds many people back. Change the belief. close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths to relax yourself and bring your unconscious closer to the surface. 1. + What we believe we can't do limits and holds us back.") 3. I will be too old. then tell yourself. Your grades were excellent. I believe I can do it. Think back to the activating event. things will change for the better.


why you're not healthy or thin or why you can't quit smoking or have a good relationship or get the job you want. The unconscious naturally switches off all the internal signals necessary to achieving our goal: enthusiasm. others. circumstances.’ or ‘It was someone else's fault. when you can say. or why you can't overcome your anxiety. our own mistakes. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice. and blame. excitement." How does someone do this? Especially of they have a habit of putting the responsibility elsewhere? Recentering the responsibility from exterior factors and on to ourselves isn't difficult. based on feeling." Billie Jean King ." Steven Covey agrees. according Dr. motivation. We cannot change the circumstances. why you're not successful. “The way to begin is to take total responsibility for everything that you are in your life right now. The first step is to stop blaming your parents. “but we need to take personal responsibility. your first husband (or wife)." Accepting responsibility for our own situation. “want to say. far too many people.HABIT #5—TAKING RESPONSIBILITY Stop blaming fate. Failure to take responsibility for our own difficulties is success enemy number one to many success coaches. anger. “We tend to blame whatever happens to us on those external things. circumstances—or anything else—for your setbacks and never-starteds. I want to change my life and I have the courage. and taking responsibility for your own fulfillment and peace of mind. and the energy to do it. The ability to design our future is in our hands. if we wish it to be. but we can change what we do. Recovery is just around the next curve" "You must be ‘completely honest with yourself’ if you are ever to rid yourself entirely of blaming others. Earl Shoaff. we undermine our own motivation by sending our unconscious a “What's the point in trying?” signal. when we blame our problems on others." In addition. you probably spend a significant portion of your life “blaming someone else for why you're not happy. ‘I sure hope things will change. fate.’ then you're on the way to controlling the only thing you really have control over—yourself. Say to yourself. As stress reduction authority Lucinda Bassett. I used to say. rather than a product of their conditions. that bitchy coworker. why you don't have peace of mind.’ or ‘I was dealt a dirty deal. “I'm the reason for my ‘have-nots'—I accept responsibility for your own discontent and unhappiness—It's nobody's fault that I'm the way that I am. ‘I am the sum total of my choices up until this moment. However. if you have yet to realize your own dreams. Lucinda Bassett writes that.’ Then I learned from my mentor.’ or whatever other excuse you have developed to absolve yourself of responsibility.” Jim Rohn has written.’” **** "Champions take responsibility. often before we truly begin.” Dyer tells us. based on values. the power. They do not blame circumstances.’ or ‘I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. or conditioning for their behavior. interest—and we give up in defeat. and our own failures is essential if we are to maintain the motivation needed to achieve our dreams. says. You're on the path to releasing yourself from guilt. Wayne Dyer. ‘I couldn't help it. that the only way things would change for me is when I changed. your less than perfect partners. conditions. “Highly proactive people take responsibility.’ or ‘Family circumstances created my misery.

she notes. and achieving your goals. sales. as an adult. recovery is completely up to each individual. but tells audiences that when she admitted to causing her own anxiety problems. you must assume responsibility for yourself. ‘This is why I'm anxious.’ We must each claim our own power and recognize our own part in the creation of and recovery from anxiety disorder. Nevertheless. speaking from experience." Personal change and recovery. excuses are unacceptable. high-tech field. I'm doing it to myself. In the final analysis. says Marcille Gray Williams. ‘but if I'm not healthy. or otherwise had troubled childhoods. so can you. But.” Gray notes there is an important point here for anyone on a serious career track. or successful as an adult. you must make things happen for no one is going to do it for you.” she advises and recounts the famous anecdote about Harry Truman keeping a sign on his desk. “Once you are on the road. For. or surmounting destructive habits. Relationship gurus from John Gray to Barbara DeAngelis tell us there is no hope . Management . happy. when he was president. once suffered from anxiety disorder." Relationships and romance. when I would like myself or be good enough for myself or for anybody else. success is virtually assured. As Bassett. too. Assuming responsibility for who you are—and where you are—is also said to be key to success in these fields as well. I think the most critical thing in your career is to understand that it is your responsibility to know what you want and to write down your goals and what you want to accomplish—be it marketing. you have to take responsibly for your present and future—and for the past as well." Bassett came by her knowledge the hard way. fully committed to being responsible for yourself and stopping the blame. were victims of abuse. that read.’ Barrett wasted so much time wondering when she would ." Success authorities in other fields agree: Business and career. developing a more assertive personality. “Accept responsibility for your actions. Taking “responsibility” is a sine qua non of success in business. in order to heal and recover. I know because I was as anxiety-ridden as anyone could be and I recovered. founder of the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety. you might be tempted to blame your lack of progress on [others]. If I could do it. So was blame. or whatever it is you want to do.. tells audiences. Up until that night. You're the reason I'm so unhappy. “The buck stops here."Take responsibility for where you're going. your situation. If you make a mistake." As Etheline Desir. In business.. And how you're going to get there!" Keith Lowry **** HOW TAKING RESPONSIBILITY MAKES YOUR SUCCESS “ALMOST CERTAIN" When you take responsibility for yourself. she begin facing the very things she had been running from her whole life. will be watching you to see if you display the strength of character to accept full responsibility for your actions and those of subordinates as well. an executive search consultant. says Bassett. “find peace of mind.’ you may say. points out. there comes a time when. I've been through some difficult stuff. success is almost certain.. “Denial was ending. “I find that people tend to not want to take full control of their career. “the past is the past and affects you only if you let it. it was so easy to point a finger and say. ‘Okay. whether it's performing better on the soccer field.. Little did I know that I could be free and happy as soon as I gave myself permission to be. research on those who suffer from serious anxiety shows most had alcoholic parents. She. "If your career is sputtering.

I can take responsibility to be a better listener.” Cypert explained. Cypert found himself in a cheap motel room." **** "A winner makes commitments. saying. with most of the family possessions in storage. likes to point out that taking responsibility. to be a more loving marriage partner. “He's the most reliable. especially when he later learned through friends. Cypert's client was thrilled with receiving the brochure on time. sitting at folding table with a typewriter and a stack of paper. my wife will feel the power of proactive example and respond in kind. can pay off big in terms of material rewards. I immobilize myself in a negative situation. the most positive way I can influence my situation is to work on myself. His wife thought he'd taken leave of his senses. is a proactive choice. working furiously on the brochure. “If I have a problem in my marriage. on my being. who worked for the Napoleon Hill Foundation and helped co-author Believe and Achieve with Clement Stone. I can focus on being a great marriage partner." However. Many years ago Cypert was writing a brochure for a client against a tight deadline. and recommended Cypert. writes." "I can't stand the idea of my client having to face his client empty-handed on Monday morning. Happiness. to be a better student.for a satisfying relationship until we stop blaming our partner for its deficiencies and assume responsibility for making it better ourselves. although important for its own sake. I also diminish my ability to influence her—my nagging. and my copy must be in his hands tomorrow to make the printing deadline. which was due the following day. a loser makes promises" Fanuel Tjingaete "If you are the kind of coach who wants to be the ‘best’ then you will make a total commitment to excellence. while simultaneously moving out of the apartment he and his wife shared and into their first home. accusing. But whether she does or doesn't. “Why not you call your client and explain the situation?” she asked. they loaded everything they owned into a truck and drove over—only to discover the previous owners still very much present due to a mix up. to be a more cooperative and dedicated employee. what Cypert had gone through to meet his commitment. “Besides." Vince Lombardi **** HOW BEING RESPONSIBLE PAID OFF FOR SAMUEL CYPERT Samuel Cypert. "If I really want to improve my situation. what do I really gain by continually confessing my wife's sins? By saying I'm not responsible. “No one in their right mind would expect you to finish that job under the circumstances. like unhappiness. who places as much emphasis on personal as professional success in his books. When the day the Cyperts were supposed to move into their new house arrived. the client learned of a lucrative assignment he thought would be ideal for someone with Cypert's talents. I committed myself to the responsibility of meeting his deadline when I took the job. . critical attitude only makes her feel validated in her own weakness. As Steven Covey. most responsible person I know. He's counting on the brochure for an important meeting. I can work on the one thing over which I have control—myself. Soon after. as well. Hopefully. I make myself a powerless victim. a source of unconditional love and support." Cypert got the job at a thirty percent increase over his normal fees.

." "It's not my fault I didn't make that sale. The hours were eating me up alive. In the main. That purchasing agent had a bad attitude right from the start. They had a birthday party with cake at work. the refrain is: “It's not my fault!” Recite a few of these and observe the affect on your own commitment and motivation.." If we take advantage of the power of words to predispose and program our minds." "It's not my fault I didn't get out to look for work today. and see the difference and the sense of empowerment saying things this way gives you. and it would have been impolite to refuse. “It's not my fault." "It's not my fault I didn't keep to my diet today. this simple. I could have refused politely. then we won't find it difficult to shoulder responsibility for the rest.” Try it yourself. Typically. and thus putting off the major emotional scene I don't want to face. "I take full responsibility for not reviewing the Collins and breaking my promise to the Senior partner. I'll make up an alibi later. Are any typical of you? "It's not my fault I didn't review the Collins file." "It's not my fault I put off talking to my lover about my transfer to Dallas. If we can learn to consciously take responsibility for the worst of these." "It's not my fault my business failed.. “I take full responsibility for." "It's not my fault I screamed at my cousin." . psychologists say. two-step exercise will help you master the baby steps of becoming a responsible person." "I take full responsibility for not making that sale. experts add. and explained I am on a diet. Plenty of prospects have a negative attitude..EXERCISE: FROM “IT'S NOT MY FAULT” TO “I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY” IN TWO EASY STEPS Here's a proven approach to self-starting your responsibility factor. The way the crowd acted threw me off that day. and instead of saying." "I take full responsibility for blowing my diet and eating that cake." "It's not my fault I didn't do as good a job of putting the siding on that house. The owner's wife was breathing down my neck every moment. the things we have difficulty accepting responsibility for are the things that go wrong—or we do wrong—in our lives. when we screw-up. or find ourselves in the midst of apparently unavoidable disaster. like I promised the senior partner. It's going to be a major emotional scene when I do. and that's the week Joe asked for a divorce. If you've been prone to go the “reasons beyond personal control” route when you couldn't get started on that exercise program. or you were the first fired in a layoff. He always puts me down. but I could have tried harder to turn it around. or found your relationship suddenly falling apart." "I take full responsibility for putting off talking to my lover about my transfer to Dallas." "It's not my fault I lost the championship.” we spin those self-defeating phrases on their heads and begin them by stating. I was too depressed to function.

“It's not my fault. This is because we must accept responsibility for a problem before we can solve it. Scott Peck **** 8 STEPS TO ASSUMING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE David Sandler. because it is a way to make a living? Or is something more driving you? Find something that makes you eager to rise from bed every morning and begin work.’” M.” litany. We cannot solve a problem by saying ‘It's not my problem. This statement may seem idiotically tautological or self-evident. Make each one complete sentence.. quickly tell yourself..” instead.” Say. 1.. Don't hedge your bets. I wanted to descend to his level and return the negativity I receive from him. and others have suggested those in their audiences take the following steps. I was in a bad mood from the divorce." "I take full responsibility for my business failing.” with “I take full responsibility for. and projected my resentments on to the owner's wife.’ We cannot solve a problem by hoping that someone else will solve it for us. if they truly wanted to assume “control” of their destiny.. it's time to put this newly found knowledge into practice. yet it is seemingly beyond the comprehension of much of the human race." Now. 4. 2.." "I take full responsibility for losing the championship. Here's how. Begin each of your ten sentences with the phrase... “I accept full responsibility for. “It's not my fault.." 2. List ten events." "I take full responsibility for doing a lousy job of putting the siding on that house."I take full responsibility for not looking for work today. and sitting around feeling sorry for myself.. Pause a moment and read each one out loud in order to help fix it in your mind." Peg Wood "We cannot solve life's problems except by solving them. . or behaviors you don't feel you should be held accountable for. “I'll try for a week and then see how I feel. 1. Are you just in business. Experts say you will be astonished at the sense of empowerment and renewed motivation this will give you. to reinforce the affect. I can solve a problem only when I say ‘This is my problem and it's up to me to solve it. Oliver Connolly. Then devote yourself to it. just have your job. Samuel Cypert.. I let something external affect my game. instead. Commit yourself fully. Take responsibility for each of the above behaviors by rewriting each of the above sentences and replacing “It's not my fault. problems. Repeat each silently twice. and transform yourself from a blame-maker to a responsibility-taker." "I take full responsibility for screaming at my cousin." 3. Have a cause. I didn't want it bad enough to put in all those long hours. When you find yourself in situations that begin to trigger your. **** "Commitment is the igniter of momentum. Don't say.

As a candidate for its president. Burn your bridges. Inc. 7. Analyze your life as if it was a country and you were running for president." Just as a president is responsible for the welfare of a nation.” “running for governor of you.“I'm starting this program and I'm going to stick with it to the end.. What is working well and should be left alone? What is going wrong and demands immediate attention? What longer-term challenges need to be addressed? . Capture that feeling. 8. and preventing them if possible. and designing an action play to correct them. to promote yourself. You will only end up driving in circles." 3. Hoping to reach your goals without knowing the route you plan to take to get there is foolish. What are your weekly expenses and how much money do you need to cover them? Create a budget—and set aside savings for emergencies. Both positions require using available resources to best advantage. and important milestones along the way. Blueprint significant avenues of endeavor. Envision the future.” It helps reinforce the fact that you. many success experts suggest mentally going through the same steps a prospective candidate for president or CEO would go through to win their job. foreseeing problems. To show people how get the hang of being in charge of. Undue financial pressure will greatly impair your motivation. and accountable for. stick to it. are responsible for your life. the boss just gave Francis one. to get the market to reward yourself.E. their own life.” and “elect yourself CEO of ME. 1. 4." Winston Churchill **** EXERCISE: ELECT YOURSELF PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF “ME" The following exercise goes under such variant titles as “elect yourself president of Y. grow yourself. Say in front of your “nut. a prospective president devotes their energies as candidate to studying the nation's current situation. develop a plan and a system to track your progress. To accomplish this. You must have unconditional commitment and do it. **** "We need to recognize the responsibility we have for situations we find ourselves in. Don't let things throw you off. internalize it." Alice Dear "The price of greatness is responsibility. Call up and begin that job search now. “I can't ask for that raise now. Focus on where you want to be a year from today. “requires you to . regardless of how tough it seems. Master the discipline to manage your daily behavior.U. “Being CEO of ME. regardless of the obstacles or distractions. take action. and only you. Pay for a full year's membership in that diet program. think about it every day. identifying problem areas. 6. Inc. If you are serious. you will set goals. 5. Then you are free to pursue your aims without worry. Think about what it will feel like when you have taken the responsibility to accomplish the things that you want.O. Put together a roadmap for the next year.” Your “nut” is the amount of money you need to survive as you pursue your goals. Finally.” Once you have established your plan.. so you are responsible for the welfare of you. intently study the United States of M...” Tom Peters writes..

And yours is the winning plan—because it is your plan—and you are already the one in charge of your life.” (You might want to play “Hail to the Chief” in the background. I will. potential sources of additional revenue and concrete steps you will take to obtain it. for a “State of M. “the more powerful it is to your subconscious mind. and defend its general welfare as well as its right to life. Regularly review your performance. This is your official entry into autonomy. you might even reverently swear by a holy book or holy name. or reading up on your profession. cuts needed to bring spending in line with income.) “The more your ceremony engages your feelings and stirs you. How would you would improve your physical surroundings. and will. taking a yoga class. Inc. E. and promise to do your best to fulfill all your campaign promises.” Tessina writes. which begins. to help protect the environment? A social welfare platform. you might want to go back and review it once more. “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States of M. “will add power to your commitment by invoking your senses and using imagery to speak directly to your child mind. through diet and exercise.E." An economic platform. psychologists like Tina Tessina suggest creating some kind of simple swearing-in ceremony.D. protect.S. or improve your social and romantic life? A health and human services platform. pin a flag to the wall. liberty and the pursuit of happiness. A business platform. in light of what you have learned since. preserve.” address. and model your “oath of office after the U.Draw up a platform—an action plan—outlining the steps you will take during your first year in office to improve the governing of your life in each of the following areas.” Make written semiannual or annual progress reports to your constituency—you—to review the progress or difficulties you have encountered in carrying out your campaign platform. “As President of M. oath of office for President. Why? Because you are the only candidate qualified for the job. Detail the current state of your budget. Whether it's becoming a Ph. How do you rate your own performance in the workplace? Would you recommend keeping yourself on? Would you recommend that you receive a raise? A bonus? An environmental platform. what are your plans for educating yourself to meet the demands of the future? A defense platform. or is it time for a radical shakeup? A labor platform. Congratulations." 4. Make it a ceremony that is meaningful to you.. What potential problems or threats do you see in your future? What steps can you take now to prevent or minimize them if they arise? 2.. Even review the platform itself.. What needs changing? What should be kept the same? What solutions and proposals are you making to continually improve the United States of ME? . print up a few “campaign posters” on your computer. To help this sink in. Begin each step with the phrase. How would you rate your current employment situation? Do you feel “bullish” or “bearish” about it? Should the status quo be maintained. making those long put-off physician or dental appointments. What are your plans for improving your own welfare? What can you do to increase your circle of friends and supporters. to the best of my ability.) 3. (With that in mind. and take your promise to govern seriously—giving up all dependence on anyone or anything else to do it for you.” Tessina writes. from painting the house to relocating in the country? And what do you personally recommend doing to help reduce pollution... Plan ways to improve your physical condition. in which you officially assume the responsibility of being President of M.E.E. An education platform.” If it will not violate your religion. you have just been elected President of the United States of ME. “This ceremony.

such as electing yourself “president” of your own life. Do burn your bridges and commit yourself." + A ceremony. can make assuming responsibility easier. + Taking responsibility makes success “almost certain. [Back to Table of Contents] ." + Don't hedge your bets. + Turn your “it's not my faults” into “I take responsibilities.Recap: + We must stop blaming others and take responsibility for our situation in life.

attention to it. they are happy. Their smiles are real." "Want to increase your income and be more fulfilled in your career?” asks Vance Caesar president of the Professional Coaches and Mentors Association. W. the enthusiasm. the energy. And yet. read the sentence that follows out loud as if it were a boring. mind." Bill Gates "I don't think I can play any other way but all out." H. in addition to a great haircut." To get an idea for yourself of how important enthusiasm is to keeping success. founder of the Visible Changes chain of hair salons. “Enthusiasm is probably the most undervalued asset in any corporation.HABIT #6—GENERATING ENTHUSIASM You can succeed at almost anything for which you have unlimited enthusiasm.” Caesar writes.” says John McCormack. if any. “You just can't go out and buy it in the shop. one of the things they enjoy most about the Visible Changes experience is what could be called the ‘Four E's': the excitement. you could hardly wait to see it." Yet. “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." Now. First. enthusiasm is another of those success keys that is consistently underutilized. “are some of the most passionate people with whom I have had the privilege of working. Ralph Waldo Emerson said. Enthusiasm is the spice of life. tackling it—and any obstacles in their way—with enthusiasm. All great successes loved what they were doing. “I have to read the Zelazny report before our meeting tomorrow. It is a feeling that comes from within. most managers pay little." Notice the difference enthusiasm makes? **** "What I do best is share my enthusiasm. Our staff not only appears to be happy. “Our customers tell us that. People want to be around people who are passionate about what they do. I enjoy the game so much because I'm putting so much into it. uninspiring task you are doing only because otherwise you would lose your job: “I have to read the McDonough report before our meeting tomorrow. Arnold **** HOW TO KEEP ENTHUSIASM UP WHEN LIFE HAS GOT YOU DOWN .” says Winston Saga. try this test." George Brett "The worst bankruptcy in the world is the person who has lost his enthusiasm. and thought of every person who wants to be on the top. It is as simple as that. Living with passion is probably the cornerstone to building a successful career. and the electricity evident in every one of our locations. Caesar spent two decades studying “winning-edge entrepreneurs” (those in the top three percent of their industry or profession) and uncovered what he feels is a key ingredient in their financial and career success. and their positive mind-set is genuine. Make yourself act enthusiastic. “Winning-edgers." "Enthusiasm should be in the heart. read the same sentence out loud as if it were a report you personally commissioned that will net you a 25% boost in income. and you were so enthusiastic about reading it.

you must set yourself on fire first. Your customers and coworkers have a right to expect a ‘star performance’ from you because they serve as your audience. retaining your enthusiasm amid the slings and arrows of outrageous.. and tell himself all the good things in his life he could think about: that he was healthy. the company you work for." Conrad Hilton "Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. points out. As Winston Saga says. is critical to your success. the way you walk. the way you talk." Personal coach C. Your attitude has the power to make or break your company—and your career." Reggie Leach "Chase your passion. Act with enthusiasm. When the going is good. well liked. Thoreau would lie in bed for a few minutes before rising. of enthusiasm. They expect you to play your part well. That's the hump that makes it hard to keep our enthusiasm high. whether it's work.” The second bricklayer paused in his labors and answered civilly. “Make yourself act enthusiastic. eager to greet the day. Once you're fired with conviction your natural talents will take you to the top. not your pension. It involves three masons (bricklayers) who were working on a building. but my father taught it to me. It's boring and backbreaking work. even when you're not feeling particularly enthusiastic. and enthusiastic. Enthusiasm you transmit through your eyes. or whatever your job requires you to be. “What are you three doing?” The first mason stopped work and replied dejectedly. Yet. successful by his own standards. reverses and difficulties can drain enthusiasm at the drop of a hat. Setbacks. But. Mike Jousan concurs. Pay attention to others with your eyes—look at people when you talk to them. and his future looked bright.Maintaining enthusiasm when the going is good is not difficult. “I'm earning my weekly paycheck. and pretty soon you will have enthusiasm. developed an unbeatable method for supercharging himself with enthusiasm every morning before he started his day. “Why not follow the same principles and stand above the rest of the crowd. when your motivational fuel seems to have run out is to act enthusiastic—and it will start your enthusiasm flowing.. It is as simple as that. the fact that everything is in our favor generates its own enthusiasm." **** "Enthusiasm is a vital element toward the individual success of every man or woman. As workplace success authority Jean Gatz. it's easier than you think. and purpose." Keeping your enthusiasm up when life's got you down seems to be impossible to most people. and the way you smile. “I'm putting . Don't droop or sag—with your posture or your voice. The secret of generating enthusiasm. be enthusiastic in what you sell. compassionate. and I have to pay the bills. A passerby became curious and paused to ask. The problem is when things aren't going well. even at an advanced age. proactive. or the motivation to keep practicing a tennis stroke." Henry David Thoreau of Walden fame." Denis Waitley **** WHAT ARE YOU BUILDING? There is a story (it may date back five hundred or five thousand years) that illustrates the importance. Share your enthusiasm with everyone. regardless of what is going on in your personal or professional life . “Today's workplace needs people who are positive. “Keep your energy level up and show it. No wonder the canny old philosopher bounced out of bed.

Five years more and I can do what I really want. Another has it for thirty days. This will be a hospital. Wanting to reach your goal is commendable. Otherwise. catch a snooze. without outside encouragement. not enough fun. slim down. **** "One man has enthusiasm for thirty minutes. They also have suggestions for how to counter these “enthusiasm-drainers.” writes Vance Caesar. and travel around the world.. Finding passion in everyday activities is one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself. are like the third bricklayer. Most of us want things. but when it becomes such driving obsession that it kills all the joy and pleasure to be found on the journey. It's a common pitfall on the path to success.” Murray writes. Your motivation buddy's role is to share your dream. If your goal is important enough that you can work that hard. “Winning-edgers. Find at least one other person (a “motivation buddy") to enlist as a cheerleader in your behalf. a sports and performance psychologist and author of Smart Tennis: How to Play and Win the Mental Game. they are building something they feel is important. develop a more assertive personality. Murray." ENTHUSIASM-DRAINERS AND ENTHUSIASM-BUILDERS If you've lost the steam to reach your goal. Gatz. or do something else. But when we work so hard for that summer cabin in the Poconos or to win a tournament that we start feeling bad. Enthusiasm-drainer: Lack of outside support. read the newest Tom Clancy novel. Manage your career like the third bricklayer. because we think they will make us feel better. But it is the man that has it for 30 . Enthusiasm-builder: Enjoying the journey. our enthusiasm vanishes too. George slew dragons. while he looked up at the passerby and answered with enthusiasm. With others to help stoke your enthusiasm. even our sincerest cheers for ourself seem to ring hollow. go out to dinner with friends. Whether you're struggling to overcome workaholism. and the more attention you have concentrated on the step. “I'm using my skill to help save lives. Enthusiasm-builder: Get a cheerleader. when the only person pumping up our enthusiasm is ourselves. Instead of focusing all your enthusiasm on your goal. keeping it high all the time isn't so much of a burden. Each success will give you a time till I get my pension. and our enthusiasm soon follows suit and begins to ebb. take in a game. applaud your successes and encourage you onward toward your goal whenever you suffer a setback. Support from others plays a greater role in helping keep your enthusiasm level high than most people realize. Enthusiasm-drainer: Pushing too hard to succeed. Ph. or just trying to get more done. Stoke your enthusiasm with a real treat: go to a movie. putting too much pressure on yourself can drain all your enthusiasm for even the most longed for dreams. When it's finished. go backpacking—whatever turns you on." According to such authorities as Jousan. Enthusiasm-drainer: Too much work. don't give up. says John F. save some for enjoying each of the steps that takes you there. Find the higher purpose in what you do. there will be a place in our suburb for sick and injured people to come when they need urgent medical care." "We all know examples of each bricklayer in our lives. and Bill Huitt. That's living!” The third mason kept working.D. you are bound to fall out along the way. It is “difficult to remain upbeat and motivated. They aren't just doing a job. it's important enough to justify taking a break for. here are the three most common enthusiasm-drainers and the “enthusiasm-builders” you can use to reverse them. win an archery competition. the less you have left over to worry yourself over your goal. Experts have identified a number of factors that typically slay enthusiasm the way St. Enthusiasm-builder: Finesse time for fun.

") 2. pleasurable.." Samuel Smiles **** WHAT MAKES YOU ENTHUSIASTIC? One very simple method for reconnecting with enthusiasm for your goal—when it seems to have vanished for good—is to “count your enthusiasms” instead of “sheep. Ask yourself. what is the single most interesting thing about the task—however boring it might seem—and why it was interesting. unpleasant tasks you hate. ("I love getting off my feet at the end of . Then follow the steps below. it will give me an edge when dealing with suppliers. what you love—no matter how abstruse—about it. Ask yourself. as well as customers. but it's not. Clear your mind of any negative feelings or preconceptions about what the task or goal. Why do I most want to achieve it? 6.” Consider each of the questions that follow carefully and write down your answer as honestly as you can. What do I enjoy most about working toward my goal? 2." Edward B. Simply select a task you find hateful or unpleasant.” “I hate paper work. who makes a success of life. This may sound like a tall order. What aspect of working toward it always sparks my enthusiasm? 5. Get yourself excited about reviewing a year's performance statistics or cleaning the lawn—and you'll be putting incalculable brain power to work in your behalf. Butler "Enthusiasm . Focus on all the ways the task or goal will benefit you. The following exercise will show you how to become as enthusiastic about memorizing next month's printing schedule or weeding the lawn. It's called “attachment. beneficial.") 3. ("Jogging produces some interesting physical and mental sensations” “I find the different ways you can manipulate numbers fascinating. funny.years.") 4.. ("Jogging is boring. What will I enjoy most when I have achieved it? 3. as rushing down to the record story to buy your favorite singer's newest CD. It gives me a headache. stirs our excitement and enthusiasm. Whatever seems exciting.” and operates on the principle that we have the most enthusiasm for things we feel strong positive emotions about. when I open my interior decorating company.” “If I truly master math. 1. You can take advantage of a well-established success strategy to get yourself just charged up with enthusiasm for even the most dreaded of activities. 1. What parts of working toward my goal do I do best? 4. the sustaining power of all great action. What do I like most about myself for attempting this goal? developing enthusiasm when you hate it The greatest challenges to enthusiasm are those disagreeable. ("I will be able to get in that size 8 in time for my wedding. or adds to our sense of competency.

") 5." + When unpleasant chores turn you off. ("I laugh at all the weird people in the street. ("Losing weight and knowing I'm healthy.the jog. with a longer life expectancy. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity. + When enthusiasm wanes. Ask yourself. The point to remember is that you must not let a “down period” destroy your enthusiasm. [Back to Table of Contents] . if you can find anything humorous in the experience. but to reignite it by counting your enthusiasms.") 6. **** "Every memorable act in the history of the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. no matter how frightening or difficult. find what's funny or makes you feel good. count your “enthusiasms. most people have began to recapture some of their waning excitement to realize their dreams. And the healthy glow it leaves. + Act enthusiastic and you will become enthusiastic." Og Mandino "If you are not fired up with enthusiasm.” “Passing another class and getting closer to graduation. which part gives you the most satisfaction. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation. but with it you can accomplish miracles. not blessings or sheep.” “The face my math professor always makes when she's concentrating hard is very comical. Ask yourself. a new meaning.” “I love it when I work a problem and get the right answer. you'll be fired with enthusiasm!" Vince Lombardi **** Recap: + You can succeed at anything if you have enthusiasm. + Too much work and not enough fun drains enthusiasm.") Usually by the time they have reached this point.

or failing to win the promotion we felt we justly deserved—setbacks still tend to sabotage our success. often go astray. undercut our sense of competence and self-worth. Studies cited in Robert Waterman's The Renewal Factor: How the Best Get and Keep the Competitive Edge reveal that successful people never . will go wrong. No plan. when our best laid plans go wrong. “I started from zero. it turns out. no matter how well prepared we are for reverses—whether it's plunging off our diet and pigging out on ice cream." Murphy's Law "The best laid plans of mice and men. somehow. they tell us. can be perfect. no matter how carefully thought out our plans for achieving it—sometime. and threaten our confidence that we have what it takes to achieve our goals. no one person can foresee every possibility. and no strategy can wholly account for the unexpected. Failures “involve so much loss and/or such a radical adjustment to change. something is bound to go seriously amiss.D. we should begin with the certain knowledge of failure in mind. Datuk Maznah Hamid. Ph. and those who quit along the way? It's the ability to bounce back from setbacks. beginning an exercise regime." Nikki Giovanni **** SETBACK OR OPPORTUNITY? Whether we are defeated by our setbacks and failures or successfully surmount them to realize our dreams.” says psychologist David Klimek. or purchasing a pack of cigarettes when we've sworn off them forever. It is suitable only if one is willing to leave one's comfort zone for at least three to five years. we just attempt to avoid dealing with it. or giving up cigarettes. is determined by something as simple as what we call them. Supersalesman Jim Rohn counsels us that if we want to keep our enthusiasm and motivation to the end. or losing a national championship cup. No matter how clearly envisioned our goal.HABIT #7—BOUNCING BACK FROM SETBACK One theme is echoed again and again in success literature. sometimes called resilience. The business world tests your resilience. only one-third of us ever recover—the rest of us simply abandon our dreams. whether it's starting a new business. What makes the difference between those who realize their goals. somewhere. it is the response to error that counts. No matter what it is we are trying to accomplish. says resiliency played an important role in her success. one of Malaysia's most distinguished corporate leaders. This figure seems to hold true. That may explain why studies show more than two-thirds of those set out toward a goal quit before reaching the end." **** "What can go wrong. there's so much pain involved. But." Robert Burns "Mistakes are a fact of life. We should prepare ourselves for the fact that we will encounter setbacks many times along the way—and determine from the outset that we will not allow them to keep us from our goals.

They choose instead to use the word ‘opportunity. They consider failure an essential . Sixteen years ago. control and motivation from the experience.S. one that shouldn't have been allowed to happen in the first place.use words like “failure. who started with a few thousand dollars and currently does one-hundred-fifty million dollars in business annually. or worse yet. On his way to achieving this dream. a setback or failure. retailers. writes. who Business Week termed “the Ross Perot of tents. abandon our commitments and not lose money. A problem. **** "Since my house burned down. Just thinking of these words this way. they see use words like “challenge. “The most important quality for a young entrepreneur is to look at changes not as a crisis but as an opportunity".” “learning experience. Lee faced his share of setbacks.S. Lee was faced with an even greater setback in 1984. Jae. The fact that he owns his own company is the result of the way Lee handled one reversal." Traditional Zen Poem "An unexpected poor performance or loss need not have a negative impact. are things that make us want to slump down in defeat and slink off alone to lick our wounds." Wei Bian **** HE LOST HIS JOB AND BECAME A MILLIONAIRE Korean entrepreneur Lee Youn Jae. Lee's perseverance paid off handsomely.” “opportunity. only to see a forty percent hike in nylon prices.” Instead. “The word ‘problem’ carries with it connotations that some people prefer to avoid." After all. I have a better view of the rising moon. but was fired because he pushed too aggressively for growth. Lee ought to know. looked for another job and felt needy. Lee had two choices. we could fill the orders and lose three million dollars. Or. Lee saw the situation not as a problem but as an opportunity—an opportunity to win customer loyalty.” They simply never view themselves as having experienced a failure or a setback. retail market.’ Problems tend to be seen as a bad situation.” Again. FAILURE: YOUR KEY TO SUCCESS Some experts go even farther than seeing failures as a door to opportunity. Athletes who apply proper strategies and draw positive things from such outcomes will gain insight. an opportunity is something rich with potential promise that excites us and makes us want to hurry on toward it. took the loss. He had just accepted a huge number of orders from the U. When word made its way through the business community. Another person might have seen this as a failure. As performance trainer and consultant Fred Nickols. But Lee envisioned it as an opportunity to start his own business. makes it clear that which word we use can play a vital role in influencing whether we lose or retain our motivation in the face of what appears a daunting turn of events. Lee met his commitment to the U. Lee had a cushy job as a manager for another Korean tentmaker.” is another believer in the gospel of finding the opportunity in setback. says. The next year nylon prices fell and he was given a huge order to make Cabbage Patch Doll-themed play tents by one of the world's largest toy chains because they felt he could be relied on. “We could give up.

330 times in his baseball career. for all the fame and glory his achievements won him. Bowerman offers this well-known metaphor: Say the odds against you are one hundred to one. In fact. he would never have been able to set some fifty baseball records. and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery. double your failure rate. William J. motion picture camera." That may be why most success coaches urge that we take a few minutes to review and celebrate our most recent failures. Edison's failures far and away outweighed his successes. many of which still stand today. you can congratulate yourself on having already done so much of the groundwork. the closer you come to success.” Zig Ziglar tells audiences.” An example he and others cite is invention king Thomas Edison. you put the odds of your succeeding even higher." Samuel Smiles **** HOW GERARD ALTIERI FAILED HIS WAY TO SUCCESS When it comes to putting across the importance of our setbacks to our ultimate success. And you can look forward to your next failure as yet another important step on the way toward your goals. If he had concentrated on his outs instead of his hits. Then you fail. Each of these failures is a key building stone in the bridge that eventually lifts you to success.. **** "Babe Ruth struck out 1. “is that those people who have achieved the most in life . It's the people who are born with the silver spoon in their mouth and never had it taken out who are often some of the emptiest.” Miller writes. “The more often you fail. and the basic distribution system for lighting and electrical power that is still running the world today.” says Ken Blanchard. MD. "There is no success without failure. light bulb. by finding out what will not do. You now only have ninety-nine more failures to go. Yet. “Failure is nature's plan to prepare you for success. according to Emmett Miller. “My experience. Now that you know failure is a perquisite of success." Draw a big star by each one. many motivators tell the following story about entrepreneur Gerard Altieri. puts it this way. a psychiatrist who has made an extensive study of successful people. the ones that are oppressing our minds and spirits most at the moment.” or “setbacks.. the biggest failures in life may be those who fail to fail. who live the lives with the most satisfaction and fulfillment are people who have faced some catastrophic threat in their lives." Allen Klein "We often discover what will do. “Failure is the halfway mark on the road to success." Former Oregon University track coach and cofounder of Nike.” is the maxim Bob Miller lives by. Thomas Watson. Asked how he had managed to springboard himself from a debt-ridden . A full 98% of Edison's inventions proved worthless. But the two percent that succeeded included the microphone. At the New York Athletic Club. is one of many who believe that every time you fail. Altieri bumped into an eager young corporate executive. most helpless people I have ever met. record player. “If you want to increase your success rate. holder of thousands of patents.” “failures. They suggest making a list of at least ten situations you are wrestling with currently that you would consider “problems. founder of IBM.” “reverses.requirement for success.” “disasters. Napoleon Hill proclaims. Bowerman.

” the young man is said to have gasped. Context reframing. recommendations and memos for flaws. “Gosh. without drawing even a dime in salary out of the company's operating funds. 2) kick in your share of the $500. She begged the pharmacist to keep it a secret—so that when people began to pester her.” he said. Wei Bian. The classic example from children's literature is the story of the ugly duckling who turns out to be a swan. This is all about taking a situation that seems to be a setback or disaster and finding the way the same situation could be a strong plus in a different context. To get to that stage you have to have failed completely and bounced back at least twice before." There are two kinds of reframing: 1. the person at your office who shreds every new idea anyone proposes is the ideal person to review all papers. Of course. likes to share a classic Chinese fable about how fluid frames of reference can be. This story. Robins defines reframing as changing a negative into a positive by changing the frame of reference (or point of view) through which we see the experience. illustrates why. even mortgage your house. she could deliberately tune them out without their knowing. Consider the old joke about the deaf woman who bought her first hearing aid. Bian says. Altieri described the three steps that had led to his success. And often we change that frame as events change.” while the other symbol means “possibility” or “opportunity. “That was the easy part. they have always been caffeine free.middle-class householder to the owner of a national health care company that he had just sold for the heady sum of twenty million dollars. “Who knows.000 in working capital needed to keep a fledgling business afloat each year. bad or neutral—we are putting a frame on it. followed by a wild mare. a sage who lived near the Great Wall returned home to discover his only horse had bolted the barn. “whether this is bad or good". Clearly she found pluses in deafness." REFRAMING: TRANSFORMING NEGATIVES INTO POSITIVES When it comes to learning to see setbacks as opportunities. the young executive's face grew a shade paler. Mr. The shame you feel after blowing a tennis match can be used to fuel you determination to discover and overcome whatever weaknesses led to your defeat. weaknesses. as was the custom in those days.” At its simplest. which many people might consider a minus or handicap. Later. his horse returned. because they are not made from the syrup of the cola nut." Altieri brushed these accomplishments aside. though it was never considered worth mentioning before. rather than condolences. the authority in reframing athletic loss. on the other hand. what was a . The first symbol means “dangerous” and “hurting. 2. they came from far and wide to offer their condolences. authorities on success recommend a technique called “reframing. the word for crisis is composed of two characters. 1) Risk everything you own. With each. But the sage explained their sympathies were premature. Now the sage had two horses—clearly an event calling for congratulations. Much television advertising is based on exactly this kind of reframing: Recently many citrus-based sodas have begun to emblazon “caffeine free!” on the bottle or can. This form of reframing. “you did all that. challenges us to take anything we perceive as a negative situation and transform its inner meaning from a negative to a positive. Content reframing. in the Chinese language. Altieri is said to have watched the young man's reactions as he enumerated each of the costly personal sacrifices he had been forced to make. But now that many people have become concerned about the health effects of too much caffeine. omissions. (Learning to see what we formerly would have considered a negative as a positive. for a loan to get started. A bit closer to home. any time we assign any value to something that happens to us—such as good. Altieri. One day.) After all. The hearts of his friends filled with sorrow when they learned this and. 3) spend four years working like a dog. Knowing the young man had been expecting some platitudinous “get rich quick” formula. reports.

and for which someone is likely to be punished—if the guilty party (or a suitable scapegoat) can be identified. Ask yourself: Is there any way you could reframe the context of your most recent setback? Is there any way you could reframe the content? **** "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. articulate. it's time to begin applying it to your own problems. 3. 3. Great! He isn't in your hair all the time and constantly attempting to micromanage your work. A boss who's uncommunicative. Any solution that produces the desired result is a good one. The habit of losing steam and giving up part way through any endeavor. Is there something you could do differently next time?" .neutral fact or even a negative one has been reframed a health benefit. Robbins cites the example of the general whose army was racing away from an overwhelming enemy force. They choose instead to use the word ‘opportunity. He calls it. With this in mind. You can begin to see “the advantage in your disadvantage when you focus on the lesson (the gift) rather than the loss. the general was undoubtedly in the right. Here are three possible ways of reframing the above. “finding the advantage in your disadvantage.” Stone says. one that shouldn't have been allowed to happen in the first place. Great! Now that you are aware of this pattern. Great! She or he is intelligent. and ways they might be reframed as positives. the nationally known authority on turning around difficult situations. Here are three situations many people would see as problems.’ For such people. 1. search for a lesson you could be learning. “Something that if we can learn it. Clement Stone concurs." W. So. 1. 2. has his own take on the philosophy of seeing opportunity in setback. can express his or herself better than most. A child who talks all the time. You seek problems because you need their Gifts. By now.” Klein believes every problem has a gift at its heart." Richard Bach "The word ‘problem’ carries with it connotations that some people prefer to avoid. “Retreating. a problem is seen as a bad situation. 2. you are probably beginning to get the hang of how reframing works. “There's almost always a lesson to be found in every reversal. will forearm us against failure next time (or at least the same kind of failure). hell!” the general is supposed to have said." Warren Bennis **** EXERCISE: FINDING THE ADVANTAGE IN YOUR DISADVANTAGE Allen Klein. you can discover what causes it and how to overcome it. There are of course no one right way of reframing them. “We're merely advancing in a different direction!” If discretion is the better part of valor.

vulnerable. Now. 2. Ask yourself what you are thinking. and situations. The Healing Power of Humor: Techniques for Getting through Loss. Upsets. review your current problem and ask yourself: + Are there any new doors it could open? + Could it or has it made you stronger or wiser in any way? + Does it hold a lesson you could be learning? + Could it or has it revealed any new priorities? The answers to these questions should set you on the track to locating the upside of your downside. You can't begin to bounce back and regain control until you force yourself to notice and be aware of your reactions to setbacks. challenges and failures. is to become aware of what you are thinking and feeling." "Out of everything bad. Perry claims. Difficulties. feeling. drawn from such top experts in crisis rebound as organizational guru J. Swallowing these feelings. Ask yourself: + Have any of them opened new doors for you? + Have any made you stronger or wiser? + Have any held a lesson for you? + Have any resulted in new priorities? The odds are good that you were able to respond “yes” to all the above questions." Traditional folk sayings **** 6 STEPS TO BOUNCING BACK FROM SETBACK When all else fails. the advantage in your disadvantage. obstacles. hopeless. and also prevents us from seeing the situation . Klein proffers a wrinkle on a classic exercise for finding the opportunity in any setback or failure. Vent Your Emotions. 1. with these answers. **** "When one door closes." "Every cloud has an umbrella. is unhealthy. or otherwise holding them inside. Setbacks. Setbacks leave us feeling wounded. trauma therapist David Klimek. here are six guaranteed bounce-back strategies. and recovery specialist. Tina Tessina. something good. Tune-In on Your Feelings. The first step in recovering from adversity. what images you are seeing in your mind's eye. Disappointments. another opens. Mitchell Perry. Trials. in mind.In his book. Review the major upsets and setbacks in your life. Tribulations. They're just what the doctor ordered when it comes to propelling you up off your back and back into motion when setback or disaster has gotten (or even knocked) you down. and All that Not-So-Funny Stuff. drained.

Strong emotions. You want to get back into the saddle as quickly as possible. [Back to Table of Contents] . Celebrate.clearly. your energy begin to surge. + Successes reframe negatives into positives.” Tessina says. convincing us there is only success or failure and we have failed. doable steps. choose the best course of action." 5. look for a job. in the face of what happened." **** "Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. “you'll feel like a much more capable person than when you started. “If your crisis is a business failure. + Successes don't call it a “problem” but a “lesson. After a month of two of taking many little steps and celebrating each of them.” says Tessina. You'll find your spirits rising. it's easy to say to yourself. Cry or holler in the shower." 3. Don't stop until you have come up with at least three alternatives. so you can start to think clearly. Choose one of your three options and make it your next goal. especially negative ones. or even start a new venture. Hint: They should not be options you have tried before without success. ‘I can't get a master's degree. “If education is your goal." George Patton "Sometimes being pushed to the wall gives you the momentum necessary to get over it!" Peter de Jager **** Recap: + Successes learn to bounce back from setbacks. Share them with a friend. Break each phase of your next goal into simple. “Rant and rave. + Successes vent their emotions. “But you can tell yourself. perceive. Ask yourself what your options are now.'” Klimek suggests. Write your feelings down. and move on. only cloud our ability to think. three ways you can keep going despite your setback." + Successes seek the opportunity in every reversal. ‘I can pick up the phone and request an application. Get to work immediately and generate at least three possible solutions to your problem. This will help jog your mind out of the win/lose. and your self-confidence growing. Tessina says. Pick Your Next Goal. so you don't lose your momentum altogether. pick their next goal. So. 4.’” 6. it's critical for us to release those emotions before they begin to complicate or compound our situation. Reward yourself for every step you take back toward your goal. Setbacks inevitably disrupt your progress toward your goal. make decisions. to make whatever effort is involved as easy as possible for you. binary two-option headspace that always follows a reversal. Generate Options. “Do something—and you may have to do it periodically—to express the emotions and gradually get them out of the way. “figure out if your new goal will be to try and save your present company. Take Small Steps.


or you will block yourself off from similar successful efforts down the road. Or. followed with a rich chocolatey dessert. Why is this kind of backsliding so common? Because it is easy to become so caught up in enjoying the benefits of your success. and if you are like most people. According to motivational coach Larry Wilson. success seems so close that they let up on themselves with inevitable. often from slipping back into old. . only to lose it all somehow afterward. you probably think you ought to be able to relax. because they don't know the secret of crossing the finish line successfully. they fumble at the last minute. The classic example is the person who becomes dedicated to losing weight and makes all the necessary lifestyle changes. until the desired pounds are gone. right? Wrong. or take a single misstep—and your long yearned-after success can turn into ashes overnight." Ron Zemke also shares this view that what we have to fear most about success is success itself. Drop your guard for a few moments. “then either the fruits of your success will not be lasting. take it easy and enjoy your success. only inches from the goal line.” writes Rick Pitino. or your fast-food franchise has become a success. who soared high as a financial guru in the late 1980s with seminars. that you let all the discipline and success skills that helped make you successful go to seed. only to crash in the mid-90s with a series of highly publicized lawsuits—and who appears to be. and entertainment. on the comeback trail at the dawn of the new century.” Zemke observes in The Service Edge. in fact. who rode to the political heights as a champion of morality. from the elimination of junk food to the embracing of daily exercise. “It's littered with hidden booby-traps and mines. business. and salads instead of steaks. and all their efforts go for nothing." We all know people who have gone to great lengths to do more with their lives and achieve their ambitions. programs." How can this happen? Perhaps you have just moved into your dream home by the sea. or you completed that six month fitness course your physician prescribed. “Struggling with adversity might seem to be the toughest challenge in achieving your dreams. “but the greatest hurdle you must face. “You can achieve success.HABIT #8—CROSSING THE FINISH LINE SUCCESSFULLY According to success experts. once they believe their goal attained. It took an enormous investment of time and effort to get you here. Another reason is that even the most dedicated and hardworking people can be tempted into taking it easy and becoming complacent. Other people achieve their goals. but the greatest challenge may be surviving success itself. or married your ideal mate. They stick with this regime. drop the ball. In politics there's Newt Gingrich. but don't know how to make their successes permanent. and the bestsellers Wealth Without Risk and Financial Self-Defense. “Success is like a minefield. You also see examples of this all the time among famous people in politics. they run right out and celebrate by pigging out on steak with baked potatoes smothered in butter. struggling with adversity might seem to be the toughest challenge to achieving your dreams. take Charles Givens. They soon blow all they have accomplished. self-defeating habits. Like overeager football players approaching the goal line.” he writes in Play to Win. sports. true to his motivational principles. only to fall back to earth with a thump when his actions failed to conform to his own moral code. but ultimately fail to achieve them. tragic consequences. Then. is surviving success itself. Instead of maintaining their motivation and concentration.” sales whiz Larry Wilson has said. just waiting to blow you right back where you started. many people manage to come within sight of their goals. Rick Pitino calls this the “killer sin” of embracing success itself and forgetting the work it took to get you there. “but if you can't deal successfully with your success.

even if it is the ceiling. If you haven't yet written down a very specific. If you already have such a statement. review it. 2. celebrate the success of your diet only after your scales register an even 136 pounds. Below is a simple process for triple checking your progress so you don't wind up on the wrong side of the goal line when the final whistle blows: 1. If your goal is losing weight." Clement Stone **** CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESSES "All too frequently individuals neglect to think over and honor their successes after reaching a particularly challenging goal. the great motivators and success gurus have practical advice for ensuring that success doesn't turn to sand and slip through our fingers—just as we have it within our grasp. will eventually be paid more for their work. To ensure a successful completion. That's the counsel success wizards like Stone have for us. is to let up on their efforts at the last moment. is that their old bad habits and lethargy quickly reassert themselves—and rather than coasting forward they come to a screeching halt and typically go into reverse. Don't just stop at the finish line." Jim Rohn **** EXERCISE: TAKE AN EXTRA STEP As with the tortoise and the hare. take an additional step or two across. they are thinking that it is all clear sailing from here on and they can just coast over the goal line on their momentum. don't count your victory when you reach 138. At the back of their minds. don't stop with the effort needed to garner that 10% raise. Strive even harder and rededicate your efforts to gaining an additional two stroke lead. When you have successfully taken this extra step or two. Before easing up on your success efforts or pausing to give yourself that well-deserved pat on the back be positive you have both feet firmly planted on the other side of your goal. Go for two pounds more. If you are aiming for greater excellence. But what actually happens.Fortunately. 3. do take time to pat yourself on the back and otherwise celebrate and reinforce all that you have accomplished. go a smidgen further than you planned. as we all too often . one of the most common ways people fumble the ball precisely when success seems nigh. don't let up once you have gotten that far ahead. Stopping to celebrate forces you to focus on the fact that you have accomplished something—instead of just focusing on your failures and inadequacies. If beating a competitor by five golf strokes is your aim. Clement Stone told audiences. **** "Those who do more work than they are paid for. Pull off the kind of work you think would be worth a 20% raise. focused statement of your goal—such as “reach 138 pounds by June 16” or “improve my performance enough to earn the maximum 10% raise at my next evaluation” or “beat Alice by 5 strokes at our next match"—do so now. **** "Success can be your greatest obstacle to real success. or a job especially well-done.

if you can afford it. from coaches to recovery groups. Make a ritual out of it. deaths. or your first day in business for yourself—you have done something noteworthy and deserving of praise. high-calorie meal. take that long delayed vacation." However. Or write yourself a graduation diploma." Be sure not to skip or short change—and especially not underestimate the value of—this step. Offer a toast to yourself and what you have accomplished. remaining drug free for a year. or six months in recovery with a binge. they conclude that pausing for this type of ritual has proved an important motivational spur in recovery. Emotional. if it's a party or dinner. who will? Your celebration doesn't have to be anything complicated or ornate—though that's okay too! It can be something as simple as a dinner in a nice restaurant. a major step forward in your career.000 dollar car because you have got a $100 per month raise. and creativity I need in order to focus and achieve my goals. “Ceremonies can provide the structure to help us get in touch with hope. 2... you will easily be overwhelmed by all the other things you still have to do. participating in some special treat or celebration sends a strong signal that you have done well to your unconscious—and this acts as a spur to maintaining the focus and discipline that have brought you here. achievements. Don't take three days off your exercise regime. and the inspiration. at least. Keep the celebration in proportion to the achievement. and the achievement warrants. **** "Morning yoga. both personally and professionally. Like visualization. peace. six months of jogging every morning. Reviewing the scientific literature. special friendships. If you don't note. goal-achievement. emphasize the crucial role ritual and ceremony play in success. a walk through the park on the way to the office . [Rituals] can be a companion on your journey to attaining clarity. most success authorities. you won't get much of a lift or feel your efforts have been sufficiently honored if you celebrate by purchasing a $10 tee-shirt after an arduous yearlong effort. Don't purchase a $50. these daily rituals ground me and help me to access the inspiration. performance. either—it'll be harder to start back than you think. balance. although more powerfully. and take pride in your achievements. Taking time off to honor and celebrate what you have accomplished is extremely important. or take a picnic in the park." The motivational boost given by this kind of ritual can not be underestimated say psychiatrist Carl Hammerschlag and physician Howard Silverman. you will end up farther behind than ahead. Your festivities shouldn't include anything that will undercut your achievements. Physical and Mental Health. Or. courage. here are a couple of guidelines. Or give yourself a small graduation “present. Whether it's something unpleasant you have delayed doing for far too long. a Stanford-trained family physician. Don't shrug it off. Conversely. don't just stop there. which may take some of the steam out of you. In fact. “Otherwise. In other words. . In The Art of Ritual. or the first night of that movie you have been waiting for all summer.” says psychologist Tina Tessina. citing your achievement whether it's losing 20 pounds or getting that promotion. therapist Renee Beck details the literature showing how personalized rituals can be powerful catalysts “for growth and change. But. or a small party. even health. don't celebrate taking off those bounds with a big. from psychotherapists to sales geniuses.” they write in Healing Ceremonies: Creating Personal Rituals for Spiritual. buy that new dress or set of golf clubs. 1. music. so you don't overdo your celebration and somehow undo your own success.” She recommends that people “create their own rituals for significant life events—births. and so forth.

” It won't ever turn out to be just “once." Instead. Zemke." Barbara Bizlou **** THE 8 FATAL MISSTEPS THAT CAN COST YOU YOUR SUCCESS You've motivated your way to. Every day people face temptations to ease up on the qualities that carried them to success. 2. gaining back all that they have lost and more. partying with the jet-set. or don't keep your income up high enough to cover emergencies in that mountainside dream home. savor. It's not how much you accomplish. only to see their corporation fail because their eye has been off the ball. you are ready to return to your self-improvement efforts. rededicate yourself to your original goal. if you make the mistake of thinking there is no need for further effort. If it was losing weight. and having reverted to their former eating habits. your success. If you start skipping your daily jog. Stay focused on what you did right. Strive to keep the results permanent. you want to take the steps necessary. you've already started to lose what you have accomplished. “It won't hurt to slack off just this once. Never tell yourself. but hard work that is responsible for what you have achieved. Enjoy the moment. 4. and everything you have invested in it will have been in vain. 3. The classic example is the person who loses those thirty-five pounds. the person whose exertions have built them a business empire. plus tips from the work of Tessina. focus and dedication—and that's the only way you'll make the results permanent. ease us through transitions. and take pride in what you have accomplished. or simply let go of. take a break and celebrate a bit after you have accomplished something difficult. gently holding those profound moments and passages in life that we hope to honor. Write them down to remind yourself it wasn't just luck or good fortune. and have taken a moment to celebrate and savor. get your focus there. The day after you've achieved something important. But. Maintain the skills that got you here. Or." Donna Karan "Rituals are like containers. so you don't start slacking off and fudging calories or fat here and there. or even too many days. You should celebrate your triumphs. 5. or you let up at the office—then your success will only be transitory. Otherwise. It's critical to be aware of which steps worked on your path to success. your celebration shouldn't last weeks. It's natural to want to pat yourself on the back." Gail Hudson "Rituals mark significant times.and calmness amid the chaos of life. But you don't want to make a “misstep” and see your triumph “turn into ashes overnight.” Instead. but slacks off with success. only to celebrate by bingeing. you inevitably will start to drift toward the same . Now. 1. but also to steer shy of the bad habits that seem to almost inevitably reassert themselves if you aren't careful. can't get back to their healthy ones. Remind yourself that the only way you achieved what you did was through hard work. Pitino. not only to retain the benefits of what you have accomplished. it's whether you retain the benefit of all your efforts that counts. and—especially in times of rapid change—bring structure and stability to our lives. and others for avoiding them. Rededicate and refocus your efforts. The skills you have developed in the course of reaching your goal must now be made a permanent part of your life. Here are eight fatal missteps people typically make.

It is universally acclaimed as the most important technique for keeping what you've won. Have the right priorities. don't give up that half-hour of meditation that gave you the peace of mind to control your anger. **** "Never stand still. It's important to be a good steward of whatever key resources you have. you must succeed in all areas of living. Be considerate of others. perhaps it's time to challenge yourself by seeing if you can beat your own record. If you aren't careful in this area. To be a success. Whether it's recovery from substance abuse or cracking your sales quota. The more you help others. ‘Once I'm successful. Don't drop out of that AA group. or religion. family. 7. and consolidate the results of your success. the more you will get back and the greater your own success will be. we need other people. You'll still have the ups and downs that you did before. This will challenge you enough that you will always keep your edge. No matter what you accomplish. As Norman Vincent Peale has observed. you are a failure in the important arenas of your life if you don't have your personal priorities straight. if you failed in your private life—with spouse. and take time to share what you have learned and accomplished with others. If you beat your closest competitor in sports or business. You can succeed. or friendships—your score is still a big fat zero.bad habits that held you back from success before and which you have spent so much time and effort trying to change. Those might be money. Don't be content with what you have accomplished. the more support and love you give. the more we receive. Enjoy what success you achieve and live each day as it comes. Be more efficient." Jim Allen **** THE #1 SECRET FOR KEEPING YOUR EDGE THROUGH AND BEYOND SUCCESS If you only follow one of the suggestions in this chapter. Don't be selfish. keep aiming higher. kids. Create new goals. **** "Many people tell themselves. maybe it's time to challenge yourself with a fitness program. but you're not God. Implement better methods. Handle the resources that created your success wisely. 8. they say. success experts urge you make it this one. or want to work more hours. Keep raising the bar on yourself. If you have reached your optimum weight through dieting. you'll blow it. Strive for excellence. “ Yogi Berra . after you've achieved your dream. energy. This is what successful people do. accomplish more. To avoid sliding back. and still fail. Set higher standards. They always strive to do more. Sometimes when we are making sacrifices to achieve our goals. maybe it's time to start working toward a promotion. my troubles are over. If you are not getting better you are almost certainly getting worse. we can overlook the sacrifices our friends and mates are making to help us achieve them. doesn't mean everyone is. Because you are on a strict diet. and the more we give. time. even if that means it will take a little more effort on your part.’ You may be successful. 6. treat each member of the master-mind group that helped you save your foundering business. If you have won that raise. friends. be more.

**** Recap: + Don't let success slip through your fingers + Celebrating your successes reinforces commitment + Go a step further to ensure crossing the finish line + Rededicate yourself and refocus on your goals to avoid backsliding + Keep aiming for greater excellence to keep motivation high [Back to Table of Contents] .

html/ Success Software's Free On Line Goal-setting Tutorial Page: www. Warner 1996. Three Rivers Eat Great. Motivation and Goal-Setting. James C.topachievement. Success is a Choice. Getting Physical: How to Stick With Your Exercise Program. Websites HABIT #1—Clarifying Your Goals Books Keith Ellis. Joe Girard.html/ Southern Illinois University's Goal Setting Guidelines Page: www. International Learningworks 1996. Clamshell McKinley Health's Goal-setting Worksheet Page: www. Achieving Individual and Team Goals. Susanne Sommers.uiuc. Random House 1999. The Magic Lamp: Goal Setting for People Who Hate Setting Goals. Bob's Prescription for Achieving Your Goals! Time Warner 2000. Audio The Biology of Success : Set Your Mental Thermostat to High With Dr. Bob Arnot.RESOURCES A Chapter-by-Chapter Guide to Books. Napoleon Hill.topachievement. Campbell. Berkley 1994 Tapes Jim Cairo. Think and Grow Gene Donohue's Top Achievement Page: [Back to Table of Contents] . Achieving Company Goals. Websites PsychWeb's Mind Tools Page: www. Rick Pitino. Goal Setting Top of the Mountain 1995. Tag Powell. Three Rivers 1999. Master Your Way to the Top. Lose Weight.mindtools. Doubleday 1988. Terry Bacon. Art Turock. Fawcett-Crest 1992.siu.

Random House [Back to Table of Contents] . Neil Fiore. Samuel Bain. Real World 101: How to Get a Neil Fiore's Page: www. Mastering Yourself. Franklin Covey 1999. Self-made in America. Mitchell Perry. John McCormack. Bob Andelman. Tapes Edwin Bliss. Harper 1997. Bill Walsh. Do It Now. Sports Publishing 1997. Perseus 1997. Joel Robertson. Finding the Winning Edge. Tim Gallwey. In the Zone. Simon and Schuster 2000. Jeff Calano. and Love It! New View 1983. Websites JM Perry Corporation Page: www.jmperry. The Now Habit. J. The Inner Game of Tennis. Stop Procrastinating : Do It Now! Jeffrey Norton 1987. Overcoming Procrastination. The Corporate Athlete: How to Achieve Maximum Performance in Business and Life. Susan Forward. Make It Big. Career Track 1995. Peak Performance Living. P.HABIT #2—Become a Doer Books Stephen Covey. JM Perry 1992. Tarcher 1986.neilfiore. Choice: Choosing the Proactive Life You Want to Live.

D.startingpoint. Marianne Williamson. Committee Report.html/ Peace 4 You Worry Page: www. Freedom from Fear. Ron Gross. Pat Quigley..peace4u.html/ Lily Work's Overcoming Fear and Worry Page: Finding Courage : Your Path to Peace of Mind. Highbridge 1995. Anderson. Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety. You'll See It When You Believe It. or Classroom Talk. Fireside 1997. Harper New Harbinger 1994. Harvest 1999. Edmund J. Mike Hernacki. Ph. The Achilles Syndrome : Overcoming the Secret Fear of Failure. Unlimited Power. Worry & Anxiety. Overcoming the Fear of Giving a Short Business Presentation. Prentice Hall 1978. Neil T.bham. Robert Quill 2001.htm/ [Back to Table of Contents] . Freedom from Fear. Hay House 1999. Psycho-cybernetics. The Secret to Conquering Fear. Tarcher 1995. Fear of Abandonment and Fear of Intimacy. Element 1998. Websites Starting Points’ Overcoming Fear Page: www. Maxwell Maltz. Pelican 1996. Anthony Robbins. Copeland 1996. Wayne Dyer. Tapes Bourne. Peak Learning. Kenneth Copeland.HABIT #3—Fearlessness Books Petruska Clarkson. Facing Fear.

L. Conceive. Ken Blanchard. Belief Therapy: A Guide to Enhancing Everyday Life. Renaissance 1996. Tapes Lester Brown. Daniel L. E. Soft Power. Meta 1990. Life Zones 1997. Warner 1990.D. Fireside 2001.nlpmind. Chapter 13: Principle #4—Believing in Your Success Websites Edward Longo's Trance Zone Page: www.affinityzone. Degoede. Marcille Gray Williams. Lifestyle 1999. What Matters The New Executive Woman. Tony Little.D. Renaissance. Clement Stone. Bantam 1987.htm/ [Back to Table of Contents] . 1998. Health Beyond Belief. Believe and Achieve. Doreen Carrie.HABIT #4—Believing in Your Success Books Maria Arapakis. Ph. 1998. Believe and Achieve for Personal Achievement and Financial Success. Robert Dilts. There is POWER in Belief. Changing Belief Systems With Steve Boyley's NLP and The Power of Belief Page: www. Hyrum Smith. Who Moved My Cheese? Putnam 1998..

Leading an Inspired Life. HarperCollins 1995 Tina Tessina. Sandler. The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman can make Before Forty. Free to Be Responsible. Tom Peters. In Search of Excellence. Mitchell. Steve Tapes Ben Thomson Cowles. Health Communications 1998. Jim Rohn.HABIT #5—Taking Responsibility Books Lucinda Bassett. Gold 1997. Warner 1994.tufts. Believe and Achieve. Warner 1988. Bay Head 1999.html/ Tuffs University's Assertiveness Tip Sheet Page: www. Samuel Cypert. Websites Jobs Northwest Taking Responsibility for Your Work Page: www. Nightingale-Conant 1996. The Ownership Spirit. W. David. You Can't Teach a Kid to Ride a Bike at a Seminar.html/ [Back to Table of Contents] Taking Responsibility for Your Choices: How to Transform the Life You Have Into the Life You Want. From Panic to Quma 1996.htm/ Self-Improvement's Assertiveness Training Websites Page: www. Hope 1991.

Enthusiasm. John Catchfire: A 7-Step Program to Ignite Energy. Boost Energy. Simon & Schuster 1995.mayogenuine. Smart Tennis: How to Play and Win the Mental Game. Norman Vincent Peale. Renaissance 1998. Enthusiasm Makes the Difference. Jossey-Bass 1998.clearcommunication.HABIT #6—Generating Enthusiasm Books Jean Jack Carroll's Sales Links Page: C. Defuse Stress. & Enjoyment to Your Life . Leslie Kenton.smallbusinessresources. How to Be the Person Successful Companies Fight to Keep. Tapes Lazaris. Ballentine 1996 Great Days (ed. Websites Mayo Genuie's Genuine Selling Page: www.htm/ [Back to Table of Contents] . Mike Jousan's Clear Communication Page: www. Great Days 1997.htm/ Vance Caesar's Small Business Resources Page: www. Peter McLaughlin. Ivy 1997. Random House 1995. Concept Synergy 1984.saleslinks. High Energy/Enthusiasm. Deepak Chopra. Boundless Energy. 50 Ways to Add Energy.).

The 10-Minute Stress Manager. David Klimek. Hay House 1997. Tapes Linda L. The Renewal Factor: How the Best Get and Keep the Competitive Edge. Alan Klein. Bantam 1988.buildfreedom. Websites Fred Nickols’ Articles Page: home.html/ [Back to Table of Contents] . Commitment Magazine's Fear of Rejection Page: www. Simon and Schuster 1997. Joe Torre. and Success. Tough Bosses. Ground Rules for Managing Team Players. Wisdom. Thorson's 1999. William J.htm/ Frederik Mann's How to Achieve and Increase Personal Power Page: www. The Healing Power of Humor. IDG Jesus and Psychotherapy.att. Byron. How High Can You Bounce?: Turn Your Setbacks Into Tarcher 1987. Setbacks. Emmett Miller. Winsted 1991. Roger Crawford. Positive Impressions 1993. Pick Me Ups For Down Days. Success From Setbacks. Gael Lindenfield.HABIT #7—Bouncing Back from Setbacks Books Robert Bantam 1998.shtml. Lutz. Answers from Within: Spiritual Guidelines for Managing Setbacks in Work and Life.

Plume 1990. Beyond Words 1998.tinatessina. Carl A. Kathleen Wall. Nightingale-Conant 1992. Simon and Schuster 1995. Play to Win. Perigee 1997. Larry Wilson. Crosstraining 1999. Rites of Passage: Celebrating Life's Changes. Make It A Wining Life. Bison 1996. Denis Waitley. Websites Success Media Group's Success Talk Page: www. Achievement 1996. Bard 1998. The Service Edge. Focus on the Finish Line: How Women Can Overcome Life's Hurdles. Silverman. Jim Kerby.success-talk. The Finish Line. Wolf J. Elliot Johnson. Tapes Ron [Back to Table of Contents] . Rene Beck. The New Dynamics of Winning. Howard D. Tina Tessina's Home Page: www. The Art of Ritual. Creation 2000. Healing Performance Unlimited's Home Page: www. Succeeding Through Inner Strength. Hammerschlag.HABIT #8—Crossing the Finish Line Books Nathaniel Branden.

New Orleans. In addition. A former editor for Houghton-Mifflin. and co-author of It's All in Your Head: Amazing Facts About the Human Mind and Psychology (Macmillan 1994). Ken Wilber. An acclaimed presenter. Jean Marie Stine is the author of Double Your Brain Power (Prentice-Hall 1997) and co-author of The Best Guide to Meditation (Renaissance 1999)—both selections of the Quality Paperback and One Spirit book clubs. Jean Marie comes by her knowledge of human potentials first-hand. Timothy Leary. and Phoenix. Richard Berne. at the West Coast's Classes Unlimited and Career for information on additional titles by this and other Minneapolis. . Marilyn Ferguson. she was voted Most Popular Instructor four years in a row (a record brought to an end only when she relocated to the East Coast). Los Angeles. where she taught workshops in instant learning. Anthony Robbins. Virginia. Betty Edwards. Visit www.ABOUT THE AUTHOR Bestselling. Martin's and Jeremy P. Robin Norwood. career success and business writing. and David Kreutzer. having worked as editor or student with such leading motivational gurus as Jean Houston. critically-acclaimed human potentials authority.renebooks. Marianne Williamson. she has appeared on television and radio interview programs from coast to coast and from south to north—in markets as various as Boston. Charles Garfield. she is also the author of How to Write a Successful Self-Help Book (John Wiley 1996). Tarcher. She can be reached via her e-mail address: jmstine@aol. THE END Non-Fiction Books by Jean Marie Stine Double Your Brain Power Super Brain Power Writing Successful Self-Help & How-To Books The Young Ed Wood+ The Holes in Your Head: And Other Humorous and Astounding Facts about Our Human Mind+ The Eight Habits of Highly Successful People+ Available exclusively from Renaissance E Books PageTurner imprint. St. and Super Brain Power (Prentice Hall 2001).

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