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Assemblyman to introduce bill to ban Ginsu knives

Assemblyman to introduce bill to ban Ginsu knives

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Published by CityDwellr

Political satire

Political satire

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Published by: CityDwellr on Dec 28, 2012
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05/14/2014

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Assemblyman to introduce bill to ban Ginsu knives

State Assemblyman Cryan (D-Union) announced Wednesday that he will introduce a bill to ban all Ginsu knives. Cryan cited the Osaka School Massacre that took place in Japan in 2001 in a press release stating his intention to ban the amazing Ginsu knife. “Ginsu knives are made of the same steel used to make samurai swords. The time it takes for a man to slice through a watermelon is much quicker than it takes a man to karate kick a watermelon,” Cryan said. “This is why I’m introducing this bill to ban Ginsu knives. The Ginsu knife blades never need sharpening and the blades are made of high quality Japanese steel. The Ginsu knives are also dishwasher safe. Enough is enough.” Cryan says this bill, which would take effect immediately, is the first in a series for a campaign to ban anything that is sharp and pointy and he’s also hoping to cash in on the Osaka School Massacre tragedy to get name recognition.

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