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When Life Hands You Lemons

Make Lemonade!

Bernard Smalls

Be Happy! Be Healthy! Feel Terrific!


Copyright © 2006 by O. Bernard Smalls

All Rights Reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or
mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping,
or by any information storage retrieval system, without
written permission of the author.

ISBN Number: 1-4276-1081-9

Printed in the United States of America
Published by: O. Bernard Smalls
Copyright 2006 by O. Bernard Smalls Companies
To my lover Karen Renee Smalls
“This book would not exist without you.
You have helped me Make Lemonade!”

To Master Lemonade Maker

Mr. John Williams

o be completely honest, I struggled with the dedication part of this

T book, since I have had the privilege of being personally influenced by
so many “great human beings” in the world of business in the last six years. This
is not name-dropping, but I thought about my friend Ken Blanchard the author
of The One Minute Manager, and then the late W. Clement Stone, Mr. Positive
Mental Attitude. Then, how could I forget S. Truett Cathy, owner of Chic-fil-A?
I even considered dedicating it to Peter J. Daniels, the wealthy Australian
Entrepreneur who endorsed my first book, with whom I’ve spent several days,
enjoying breakfast, lunch and dinner, along with his wonderful wife, Robina. I
have met several other influential people, such as Stedman Graham, Oprah’s
significant other, and I have illustrated their impact and the lesson I learned
from them in this book.
After much consideration of the person who has had the most impact in
real-world mentoring in the last six years, this book is dedicated to John
Williams, Chairman and principal owner, Toyota Mall of Georgia, in the greater
Atlanta area. I started at Toyota Mall on their first day of business in their new
state-of-the-art facility, and I immediately saw that this was no ordinary car
dealership. Mr. Williams constantly held us all at a high standard of excellence.
I am even more impressed that he, himself, lived out the standard personally,
while building a great organization from the humble beginnings of two trailers in
Buford Georgia. Even though I have met the people that I have mentioned
heretofore, Mr. Williams has been the real-world mentor who has helped to
shape my dream and see the “Big Picture”.
John helped me to become a corporate trainer and showed me, by example
and mentoring, how to make lemonade in the highly competitive automotive
world. Toyota Mall is the first Toyota dealership in the history of the world to
win every Toyota performance excellence awards in the first year of business,
including the prestigious President’s Award, which the organization has won
every year since opening. This is no easy accomplishment considering Toyota’s
high standards of Kaizen “constant and continuous improvement” and Jidoka “don’t
pass the defects”.
Mr. Williams started with a dream of Building relationships that last with
internal and external customers. He faced many proverbial pits and prisons, yet
made lemonade by delivering the dream. Thank you John! You may not be a big
name yet, but you carry a big stick!

• Happiness is Your Human Right! ................................................... 13
• Lemon Laws.......................................................................................... 21
• The Joseph Factor – What is this dream?.................................... 31

#2: PITS
• No Friends/Know Friends!................................................................ 39
• Unhappy People!................................................................................. 45
• Lemonade is Good!............................................................................ 49

• Choose To Be Free! ............................................................................ 59
• Life Is A Test! ..........................................................................................63
• Are You Stuck? ..................................................................................... 69

• Breaking Out Of Comfort Zones .................................................... 87
• Developing Your Self Concept ........................................................ 93
• Good Times!.......................................................................................... 97

• Time For Promotion ..........................................................................107
• Self-Leadership....................................................................................113
• Blood, Sweat & Cheers!!! .................................................................119

Appendix - Be Happy Lemonade Recipes.............................................. 131

References ........................................................................................................ 133

About the Author............................................................................................ 135


My purpose in this book is to put motivation in those who feel

that there’s nothing left. The concepts of THE LEMONADE
PRINCIPLE are real. They are not metaphysical rhetoric or
motivational hype. These principles have consistently worked
for me in my personal life. For example, I have not visited a
doctor for over 30 years for anything serious, other than routine
physical check-ups, and I am motivated all the time, for which
I am extremely thankful. By the way, I am not against doctors,
nor am I saying that there is no such thing as sickness. I just
haven’t needed one other than for routine insurance check-ups
or other professional and business related physical examina-
tions. I credit my healthy lifestyle to my positive mental
attitude. My advice to you is to read this book in its entirety,
ponder and apply the principles with balance, and prove it for
yourself. I have learned the simple truth that “a happy heart is
health to the bones.” By the way; share the happiness and tell
someone else about what you have learned so that they, too, can
Be Happy, Be Healthy and Feel Terrific and stay motivated

Happiness Is Your Human Right!

“We hold these Truths to be self-evident, That all Men

are created equal, that they are endowed by their
Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among
these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”
–Declaration of Independence
I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

12 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 1


“Wine Is Proof That God Loves Us
And Wants Us To Be Happy!”
–Ben Franklin

THE PURPOSE OF YOUR LIFE is to be happy, be healthy and

feel terrific. Life is intended to be good–or terrific! Imagine living your
life on planet earth where you are being happy, being healthy and
feeling terrific! A taste of heaven on earth…
Happiness is, in fact, the Divine purpose of life! It is also a major
element in the American dream. Yet most people, even in wealthy,
prosperous nations, lead lives of quiet desperation, as the great Henry
David Thoreau has said. For far too many, the dream has dissipated
and become a nightmare. It’s time for you to reclaim your happiness,
because each day of life is a gift. Following is a powerful poem that
illustrates it.

Each Day Is A Gift

by Author Unknown

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is

fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair
fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 13

she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her
husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the

nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was

As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a

visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets
that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with
the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been
presented with a new puppy.

“Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room .... Just wait.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied.

“Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.
Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the
furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind. I already
decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning when I
wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed
recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that
no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones
that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll
focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored
away, just for this time in my life.”

She went on to explain, “Old age is like a bank account, you

withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would
be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of

14 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I
am still depositing.”

And with a smile, she said:

“Remember the five simple rules to be happy”:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Choose to be happy.

The Lemonade Principle is about living a happy, healthy and terrific
life through realizing that each day is a gift. So relax, chill-out and get
ready to enjoy the ride! Happy starts with you!

Understanding the Self-Concept

Here is the huge question. How do you see yourself? Are you
happy or unhappy, positive or negative, motivated or lacking motiva-
tion? It all centers on your self-concept.
Your self-concept or the way you see yourself is critical to a life of
happiness. Why? Because the way you think on the inside determines
the way you act on the outside. The Lemonade Principle will increase
your happiness by you developing a healthy self-concept.
Up to the age of 18, your self-concept is largely developed as a
result of outside influences. When you reach maturity, you become
totally responsible for its development.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 15

Your self-concept is made up of beliefs, most of which are
subjective. That is, they are not based on facts at all. You have been
programmed from childhood with “erroneous data” which affect your
beliefs, your conclusions, and your behavior.
You only feel comfortable when you are performing consistent
with these little self-concepts. Your self-concept keeps you locked in
place, performing at a certain level, which is your comfort zone.
The good news is you were not born with self-concept. Everything
you know about yourself has been taught over the course of your life.
You can change your life by changing your self-concept.

No More Self-Pity
Has life delivered what you expected by this time or are you
unhappy? Many who start their careers with the dream of a house in
LA, one in New York, and a beach house in Miami, often end up being
in a bedroom in their in-laws’ house until they can afford their own
Too many today are quietly desperate, saying to themselves: “this
is not what I wanted to be when I grew up”. I want to show you how
to stop waiting for your ship to come in by going out to meet it. It’s
time for no more self-pity!
In this book, I will introduce you to a dreamer who went through
5 Ps to a happy, fulfilled life. He started with a purpose, was thrown
into a pit, sold into slavery, and locked away in prison where they
threw away the keys before he was finally promoted to the palace,
which represents the place of fulfillment. The promotion to the palace
was the fulfillment of his dream. It’s vital that you understand that

16 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
dreams go through a process that can be extremely challenging for
the dreamer before they are fulfilled.

What Is Happiness
Happiness can be an illusive concept. Most people, if pressed,
would say happiness is being content with a loving spouse, a good
job and a house in a nice neighborhood. Many say that happiness is
an intimate relationship. For some people, intimacy feels oppressive
and they prefer venturing out seeking adventure and excitement.
Others find great satisfaction in piling up personal possessions. Still
others will tell you that being able to give to others is what happiness
is all about. Happiness is a highly individual thing.

Belief Systems
No matter what your definition of happiness, I assure you that if
you read the pages of THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE, you will be con-
vinced that happiness is not as illusive as it seems and you can be
happy, be healthy and feel terrific. You can live your dream.
I know that you are thinking happiness and health, that’s got to
be too good to be true. How could this be with all of the human
suffering in this world?
Here is some out of the box thinking: “Unhappiness is not
supposed to be the norm in your life.” Unhappiness is simply a lot
of B.S. (belief systems). You can choose happiness now by learning
how to change your belief systems, because:


Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 17

I will show you in simple clear terms and by examples in the
following pages how to do it; regardless of what is happening in your
life, you can be happy. Here’s some deeply profound wisdom that
has helped me to be happy and stay motivated through some tough

The Lemonade Principle

Here is the master-key, the secret, if you would: The key attitude
of all continuously happy people is found in the phrase “When Life
Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade!” The phrase embodies what
I call “THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE.” If you take all of the bad, negative
and ugly things that happen in life and find the greater benefit, and
turn the bad into something beneficial, you would live a continuously
happy life, wouldn’t you? You learn to turn liabilities into assets.
What’s good about lemons anyhow? Let’s think of lemon juice for
a moment to lay the foundation of the lemonade principle. Lemon
juice is sour, bitter and tart and tends to contort the face when
consumed. In life, we often see the “lemon” as a parallel to bitter
experiences. Natural things often communicate deeper spiritual and
psychological realities. This is why parables are so powerful. A parable
is a story or a parallel lesson that illustrates a deeper meaning than
the obvious. You could say that “When Life Hands You Lemons, Make
Lemonade” is a parabolic statement, like “The Early Bird Gets the
So the next time you are dealing with a bitter, challenging
experience, instead of saying, “I am doing horrible,” you might say: “I

18 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
am making lemonade!” You can have what you say! Here are some
natural facts and benefits about lemons:

✓ Lemons are high in vitamin C.

✓ Lemons prevent scurvy, a disease that causes bleeding

gums, loose teeth and aching joints.

✓ The British Navy requires ships to carry enough lemons

so that every sailor can have one ounce of juice a day.

✓ You can add the juice of one lemon to an equal amount

of hot water for an anti-bacterial gargle.

✓ Lemons are a cure for sore throats. Next time you have a
sore throat, reach for a lemon! Lemon juice with warm
saltwater is a simple recipe for a sore throat.

Extract the Good

There is inherent good in the bitter, miserable situation.
Remember, the juice is in the lemon! You can extract the good out of
any situation when you learn to make lemonade. Extract the good,
like “Lemon extract”– get the point☺? True happiness is found
within, as the juice is found within the lemon. What lemon has life
handed you? Learn to look for and extract the good from the situation.
The purpose of your life on this earth is to be happy, be healthy and
feel terrific! Life is good! Extract it! Enjoy it!

I Feel Happy! I Feel Healthy! I Feel Terrific!

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 19

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

20 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 2


“People often say that motivation doesn’t last.
Well, neither does bathing–
that’s why we recommend it daily.”
–Zig Ziglar

THIS CAR IS A LEMON!!! What does that mean, anyhow? Does it

mean that the car is a tart, yellow citrus fruit? If you drive a “Junker”,
you are probably saying, “Um… sounds like my car.”
While I was in College in Anchorage, Alaska, I bought a car for a
dime – yes, 10 cents! I bought it from a fellow student for a dime
because he wanted to help me out and make the transaction legal in
the state of Alaska. By the way, a dime was about all I could afford at
the time. I was so poor I couldn’t even pay attention!
That car was the picture of a lemon, meaning, the car was a
JUNKER! It was a golden color 1971 Ford Pinto (remember the Pinto?)
and was literally held together with duct tape, bond dough, and
bungee cords! It actually had a bungee chord that was attached from
the gear shifter to the driver’s door to keep the door closed since the
lock was broken. That Pinto depicted poverty. Those were the days my
friend, I thought they’d never end…
Driving that Pinto was definitely a bummer! I would often park

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 21

several blocks away and walk up to a building or restaurant so that no
one saw what I was driving. Have you ever had a car like that? That
was bitter! But it was also sweet–it beat walking!

Lemon Laws
I have worked for years as a corporate trainer in the automotive
industry. There is no business like the car business.
Car dealers generally have such a “wonderful” reputation in
customer service that in most states there is what is called a lemon
law. The lemon law is designed to protect unhappy customers who
have been ripped off by a dealer. By the way, I wrote a customer
service book entitled T.G.I. Sunday – The Gospel of Customer Service,
based on a true story of customer service excellence achieved in a car
dealership. A friend of mine wrote to me in a humorous email,
“Bernard, I thought you did not believe in writing fiction?☺ ”
The fact of the matter is that the lemon law was created to
protect the consumer and to keep dealers honest. The lemon law
basically ensures the success of the customer after the car deal.
What do you do when life hands you a lemon? YIKES!!!
Have you ever gotten angry at this thing we call “life” for the bad
set of circumstances that were handed you? Is there protection for
this? You bet! Just as lemon laws work to protect the consumer, there
are natural and spiritual laws that work to protect any human that
puts them to work. A law is simply a principle that works every time
it is applied or put to work. A simple example is the law of gravity,
which says, “what goes up must come down.” There are “laws” that
control happiness and health and motivation, and will work every
time they are put to work.

22 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Laws of Motivation
Many people today have a misunderstanding of motivation. This
shows me we need to be aware of the “E” factor – the expediency
factor. “Most people do those things that are easy, fun and fast tension
relieving, instead of hard, slow and necessary goal achieving. It’s the
short-term gain, long-term pain syndrome.” I realize that many of my
goals will not be achieved in the short range. Therefore, I need to
understand the three forms of motivation I may utilize to aid me in
achieving my dreams.
An example of the first is about a Texan who has an intelligent,
beautiful daughter. He wanted her to marry a winner, so he invited the
most eligible bachelors in the state to a party.
He said to them, “If you can swim across my Olympic-sized
swimming pool (filled with alligators and crocodiles), you will have a
choice of selecting either one million dollars, 10,000 acres of land, or
my daughter’s hand in marriage.”
Immediately there was a splash in the water, then a gentleman
came up on the opposite side of the pool. The Texan asked him, “Do
you want a million dollars?”
“No,” he replied.
“Do you want 10,000 acres of land?”
“No!” he said again.
With a smile on his face, the Texan said, “Then you want my
daughter’s hand in marriage?”
“NO!” the man shouted.
Frustrated, the Texan asked, “Then what do you want?”
“I want to know who pushed me in!”

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 23

That’s called fear motivation. It works. This gentleman achieved
his goal, but the stressful factors were at 100%. I don’t believe in fear
Peter Daniels, in his provocative book How To Stay Motivated All
the Time, gives us some of the best insight on the planet concerning
the laws of motivation. These have helped me to make mucho
lemonade. Mr. Daniels brings out that being motivated is not back-
slapping, loud talking, hyperactive behavior, or something caught like
a common cold.


1. Motivation Is Deeply Personal.

Most think that motivation just happens – some are born
with it, others are not.
Motivation is a behavioral science that can be learned.

2. Have Clearly Defined Boundaries

You cannot do everything, but you can do something!
You cannot be motivated if you want to do everything, be
everywhere, and control everything.
Energy must be directed and channeled into certain areas.

3. Have Long-Term Goals

Long-term goals create long-term motivation!
Long-term goals create commitment.
Long-term goals kill fantasy thinking into possibility thinking!

4. Develop a Positive Mental Attitude!

“A positive mental attitude means spending your creative
energies on finding ways things can be done.”

24 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
5. Develop Personal Integrity
Become someone you can admire.
Follow through on trivial commitments.
Treat yourself as your best friend.

6. Take Care In Selecting Your Friends.

1. Honesty 3. High-flying
2. Humor 4. Generosity

7. Operate within Personal Timetables.

Time is your most valuable asset.
Don’t allow other people’s schedules to control you.
Allow time for others.

8. Minimize People Dependency!!

If it’s to be, it’s up to me!
Go for profits, not for size.
Relate to the few who control the many.

9. Remain In Control All The Time.

Control means you can change at any time.
Control means not being manipulated or frustrated by
people or events.
Control means following an agreed-upon plan.

10. Accept Total Responsibility.

Take responsibility for your achievement quotient.
Take responsibility for your motivational level.
Invest a minimum of 5% of your total income into
motivational tapes, videos and books.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 25

11. Make Motivation a Habit.
Habits formed are hard to break.
Habit force means automatic control.

Here are some tips:

1. Always be on time.
2. Do important and productive things first.
3. Look for principles in every situation.
4. Examine and establish the real objective.
5. Finish what you start as soon as practicable.
6. Stay calm and objective in all circumstances.
7. Continually upgrade your mind.

12. Aspire To Something Greater Than Your Self.

Develop a magnificent obsession.

13. Always Have A Futuristic Outlook.

Welcome change.
Plan on change.
Control change. (Lock in changeless principles)

14. Give your Motivation to others!

Never respond to a negative remark with criticism, always
respond by affirming the positive.
Never agree with a person when they refer to bad habits as a
part of their lives – encourage change by suggesting benefits.

15. Be Grateful, Not Critical

The gratitude attitude.
Be grateful for other people’s success!

26 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
16. Remove Motivational Blocks Forever
Turn problems into procedures.
Eradicate repeated motivational blocks.

17. Look for Mentors.

Mentors provide working models.
Mentors confirm principles.
Mentors inspire and challenge us.

18. Have built-in Personal incentives

Incentives work for others – why not you?
Plan incentives to satisfy your own personal needs as well as
the needs of others.
Use incentives to motivate your motivation!

Yes, you can be motivated all the time when you understand the laws
of motivation.

…Tired of Being Sick and Tired?

Did you know that much sickness is psychosomatic? My back-
ground is in theology and I have studied Greek. Psychosomatic comes
from two Greek words (I know a little Greek, he runs a delicatessen
downtown…☺ ). Here is the meaning: psycho means mind and soma
means body. This means that your mind or thinking affects the health
of your body. Happiness and peace of mind are keys to peace of body
(or health). Think of the word disease. It comes from the words “dis-
ease” or lacking ease. If you are lacking ease mentally, you are living
under undue stress, which will impact your health. I have found that
unhappiness and depression affect one’s health.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 27

Depression means to lessen the strength of, through a state of
unhappiness and hopelessness. It is defined in the Encarta Dictionary
as a psychiatric disorder showing symptoms such as persistent feelings
of hopelessness, dejection, poor concentration, lack of energy, inability
to sleep, and, sometimes, suicidal tendencies. DEPRESSION IS THE
PITS! You don’t have to be depressed. There is hope! Happiness and
Health have arrived!!! That’s why you are reading this book. It is not
by chance that you are reading it. It’s your date with destiny. Your
mental attitude is the master key to being happy, being healthy and
feeling terrific. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he… If you think
healthy, you will be healthy!

The Man Who Laughed His Way To Health

Mr. Norman Cousins is known as the man who laughed his way
to health. Following is a short part of his story.
“Told that he had little chance of surviving, Cousins developed a
recovery program incorporating mega-doses of Vitamin C, along with
a positive attitude, love, faith, hope, and laughter induced by Marx
Brothers films. “I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of
genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at
least two hours of pain-free sleep,” he reported.
“When the pain-killing effect of the laughter wore off, we would
switch on the motion picture projector again and, not infrequently, it
would lead to another pain-free interval.”
Cousins received the Albert Schweitzer Prize in 1990…having
survived years longer than his doctors predicted: 10 years after his first
heart attack, 16 years after his collagen illness, and 26 years after his
doctors first diagnosed his heart disease.

28 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
He Beat Cancer
Since we are considering the lemon laws as related to the
automotive industry, I want to introduce you to Horatio Alger Award
inductee and founder of Southeast Toyota, Mr. Jim Moran. I was intro-
duced to this outstanding individual through my position as a
corporate trainer at Toyota Mall of Georgia.
Mr. Moran was diagnosed with cancer in 1964 and was given
only a 10% chance of living. He beat cancer, is still alive, wealthy and
well, as of this writing. In his bio, written to support his induction into
the Horatio Alger organization, which I have included in this book, it
says: “HE BEAT CANCER!” I like that! Mr. Moran is a real competitor,
not just in business and moneymaking, which he has made a boat-
load of, but he is also a competitor in life. At 87 years of age, he goes
to work daily and is one of the most generous men in the world. I am
presently reading his book entitled JIM MORAN – The Courtesy Man.
WOW what a story.
The long and the short of it is that with the right knowledge and
mindset, you can prosper (be happy) and live in health (be healthy)
as your mind, will and emotions prosper (feel terrific).
Mr. Moran’s primary business, Southeast Toyota Distributors, has
been constantly voted as one of the best places to work in America,
according to Fortune Magazine. That is no easy accomplishment in the
highly competitive business world.

Outstanding Achievement
Mr. Jim Moran has certainly made lemonade by being inducted
into the Horatio Alger Association. The Horatio Alger Association of

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 29

Distinguished Americans, founded in 1947, which continues to fulfill
its mission of honoring the achievements of outstanding individuals in
our society who have succeeded in spite of adversity. You, too, can
learn to live by the laws of motivation and make lemonade when life
hands you lemons!

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

30 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 3


“What is this dream that you have?”
–Jacob, Joseph’s Father

I have chosen to make the Hebrew patriarch, Joseph, the central

character in this book, to give you someone to whom you can relate.
We tend to relate to characters better than to just facts or information.
I also chose him because he had his share of adversity (lemons) out
of which he always found the greater benefit. You could say he made
lemonade. Joseph lived a life of experiences or challenges that are
filled with ancient, timeless, wisdom. All truly successful people have
learned to borrow and digest wisdom from the giants of the past.
Joseph is one of those giants.
First of all, you must understand that Joseph is not a religious
figure! He was a Renaissance man that we can relate to in our
contemporary culture. Renaissance, according to the Thesaurus Dic-
tionary, is defined as: rebirth, new start, new beginning, reawakening,
resurgence, second chance. I call Joseph a Renaissance man because
he was a multi-dimensional innovator.

Joseph’s Resume
Joseph learned to make lemonade and eventually became a very
successful, effective and powerful individual.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 31

Following is his resume:
• MARKET ANALYST (with immense understanding of his markets)

Just as Joseph lived a happy, productive life, so can you.

But, I Am Too Negative To Be Happy

Now I want to introduce you to a modern-day dreamer who
embodied THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE. The man is the late W. Clement
Stone. They called him Mr. PMA (POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE). He
was one of the most positive men to ever walk planet earth. Why did
I choose Mr. Stone? Because his life depicts the Joseph Factor to me.
Like Joseph, he had hard times, but was promoted to a place of prom-
inence in honor through a positive mental attitude and by holding
unto his dreams.
Mr. Stone was known for saying, “I feel happy, I feel healthy, and

32 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
I feel terrific,” every morning when he woke up. Well, even if you don’t
like the hype about being positive, Mr. Stone lived to be over one
hundred years of age and died as a “happy billionaire” – THAT’S
TERRIFIC! He lived a long, rich, happy life. Money is good, isn’t it? He
was known as the poor kid who made it big!
You do not have to remain a negative person, because you can
change your mental attitude by being renewed in the attitude of your
mind. You can be happy!
Mr. Stone’s PMA philosophy has had such an impact on my life, I
want to share some of his philosophy with you on a few of the
following pages. Remember, he died as a happy billionaire. If you tend
to be a negative person, I encourage you to draw on the life of Mr.
Stone. His PMA is contagious!


Be Generous!
❖ Be generous! Give to those whom you love; give to those
who love you; give to the fortunate; give to the unfortunate;
yes—give especially to those to whom you don’t want to
❖ You will receive abundance for your giving. The more you
give—the more you will have!
❖ Give a smile to everyone you meet (smile with your eyes) —
and you’ll smile and receive smiles. . .
❖ Give a kind word (with a kindly thought behind the word) —
you will be kind and receive kind words.
❖ Give time for a worthy cause (with eagerness)—you will be
worthy and richly rewarded.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 33

❖ Give hope (the magic ingredient for success)—you will have
hope and be made hopeful.
❖ Give encouragement (the incentive to action)—you will have
courage and be encouraged.
❖ Give a pleasant response (the neutralizer of irritants)—you will
be pleasant and receive pleasant responses.
❖ Give good thoughts (nature’s character builder)—you will be
good and the world will have good thoughts for you.
❖ Be generous! Give!
❖ To get more, you have to give more!
Reference: From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved March 5, 2006


I spent one of the most exciting weeks of my life in Salt Lake
City attending AVA – Activity Vector Analysis Personality training
with Mr. Art Neiman Sr. I was the 195th trained AVA analyst in the
world. Mr. Neiman spent several decades working closely with the
great W. Clement Stone. WOW! I would love to have been a fly on
the wall there. The stories Mr. Neiman shared about Mr. Stone
were timeless and consistent with my research.
Mr. Stone was known for saying, “I feel happy, I feel healthy,
and I feel terrific,” every morning when he woke up, and for
leading others in this chant. Well, whether you agree with his
affirmation or not, Mr. Stone lived to be over one hundred years
of age and died as a “happy billionaire” – THAT’S TERRIFIC! He
lived a long, rich, happy life.

34 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Putting the lesson in a Box…
3 Lemon Laws
1. Happiness is Your Divine Right!
2. The Lemon Laws
3. The Joseph Factor

Extract The Good:

The purpose for your life on earth is to be
happy, healthy and feel terrific.

“When Life Hands You Lemons

Make Lemonade!”

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 35

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

36 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets

Pits Are No Fun!

“To be intimate with a foolish friend

is like going to bed to a razor.”
–Ben Franklin
I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

38 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 4

“In prosperity, our friends know us;
in adversity, we know our friends”
–John C. Collins

An analogy of the pit is when you encounter false friends in life.

I’m sure you have heard the saying: “With friends like these, who
needs enemies?” False friends with ulterior motives are some giant-
size lemons. Most of us have met them in every shape, color, sex, style
and size. Since we live on a planet with all kinds of fruits, nuts and
flakes, you might as well get used to them.
One of the deepest pits in life is to trust in false friends. The
purpose of life is happiness, but you must beware of pits or pitfalls.
Have you ever said, “My life is the pits”? The pit is the place where you
hit rock bottom. The pit of life is where you find yourself when every-
thing seems to be going wrong and your dreams are starting to fade.
The pit is where your heart is broken into a million little pieces by
what Ben Franklin calls foolish friends. That’s pit-i-full!
Here’s hope! You can come out of the pit alive! All happy people
have learned that “you go through the pit on your way to the palace.”
You will meet some real friends that will stick closer than a brother,
and they will give you their shirt. However, there are normally so few

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 39

that they could hold their annual meeting in the back seat of a
compact car. Beware of false friends with ulterior motives!

It’s A Family Affair…

One child grows up to be somebody that just loves to learn,
another child grows up to be somebody that just loves to burn (a little
Sly Stone for kicks-☺) …the moral of the story: you never know how
a family member will turn out or respond to you. The fact that
someone is your natural flesh and blood does not guarantee real
friendship. Remember the Disney cartoon Beauty and The Beast?
Love and happiness often come from unexpected places. The pro-
verbial “beast” often has your best interest at heart and makes the
best friend.
In our political scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours culture, we
often hook up with the wrong people because we have the wrong
motives. Beware of people who are always smiling in your face, while
they say, “I’ve got your back!” They are often Back-Stabbers!

A Dysfunctional Family
Many people are unhappy because of unrealistic expectations
from family members. The fact is that the annals of history have
proven that family can be some of our worst enemies.
For example: Marvin Gaye, one of the most talented R&B singers
of all times, was murdered in cold blood by his dad. WOW. To go way
back, check out Cain and Abel. The first murder in history was brother
on brother, or you could say–a family affair. “Stop looking for
happiness by way of family!”

40 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Joseph came from a dysfunctional family. Joseph’s father showed
him partiality, partly because Joseph’s mother, Rachel, was “drop-
dead beautiful.” Joseph was also his favorite child and he certainly
treated him that way in front of all of his brothers. That’s a recipe for
a family feud.
Here is a little background to help you understand Joseph’s
family. Joseph was raised in the day when polygamy (having more
than one wife) was acceptable. He had a different mother than most
of his brothers. Joseph’s dad, Jacob, taken by Rachel’s beauty, worked
for seven years to earn the right to marry her. Jacob was lied to by
Rachel’s father, Laban, and given her ugly sister, Leah, instead. I’m
sure you have heard the saying that “Beauty may be skin deep, but
ugly goes to the bone!” Leah was ugly!!! I am not being mean. It’s
documented in the chronicles of history for all to read. Leah was ugly
and Rachel was beautiful.

A Hard Day’s Night. . .

So Joseph’s dad had to work another seven years, as was the
custom of the day, before Rachel’s dad would give Rachel in marriage.
Because of her beauty, Jacob did it. It’s amazing what men will do for
a beauty. Jacob’s theme song could have been: “It’s been a hard day’s
night and I’ve been working like a dog…☺.” I have met a few Labans
in my lifetime. How about you?
Anyhow, “Joseph’s father loved Joseph more than any of his other
sons because he was the child of his old age by his beautiful wife, and
he made him an elaborately embroidered coat. When his brothers
realized that their father loved Joseph more than he did them, they

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 41

grew to hate him—they wouldn’t even speak to him. Joseph had a
dream. When he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more.
He said, “Listen to this dream I had. We were all out in the field
gathering bundles of wheat. All of a sudden my bundle stood straight
up and your bundles circled around it and bowed down to mine.”
Joseph was not winning any friends or influencing people.
His brothers said, “So! You’re going to rule us? You’re going to
boss us around?” And they hated him more than ever because of his
dreams and the way he talked.
Joseph had another dream and told it to his brothers and father:
“I dreamed another dream–—the sun, the moon and eleven stars
bowed down to me!”
His father reprimanded him: “What’s with all this dreaming? Am
I, your mother, and your brothers all supposed to bow down to you?”
Now his brothers were really jealous: but his father brooded over the
whole matter.

Beware When Sharing Your Dreams!

are real friends OR YOU MAY END UP IN A PIT!
The story of Joseph continues: As Joseph came to them in the
fields, they had cooked up a plot to kill him. The brothers were saying,
“Here comes that dreamer. Let’s kill him and throw him into one of
these old cisterns (pits). We can say that a vicious animal ate him.
We’ll see what his dreams amount to.” Notice that their intent was to
kill the dream by killing the dreamer. When Joseph reached his
brothers, they ripped off the fancy coat he was wearing, grabbed him,

42 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
and threw him into a pit. The pit was dry; there wasn’t any water in it.
Then they sat down to eat their supper. Looking up, they saw a
caravan of Ishmaelites on their way from Gilead, their camels loaded
with spices, ointments, and perfumes to sell in Egypt.
Judah said, “Brothers, what are we going to get out of killing our
brother and concealing the evidence? Let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites,
but let’s not kill him—he is, after all, our brother, our own flesh and
blood.” His brothers agreed.
By that time, the Midianite traders were passing by. His brothers
pulled Joseph out of the pit and sold him for twenty pieces of silver
to the Ishmaelites, who took Joseph with them down to Egypt.

Dreams Can Be Costly!

From the pit to slavery! What a promotion! Joseph’s own family
members (his brothers) sold him as a slave because they were jealous
of his dreams. Now, what did you say about coming from a dysfunc-
tional family? If you think your family has problems, just check out
Joseph’s family. This should give you hope.
WOW, talk about life handing you lemons! Joseph could have
started a lemonade business! Sharing his dream nearly cost him his
life. Joseph learned to take the lemons and make lemonade by
exchanging his life for his dream. Whether you have a big dream, a
small dream, or no dream, you will pay the same price or exchange:
your life.
I call the exchange of life for the fulfillment of dreams: Making
Lemonade! You go through it to get to it! The pain, loneliness,
rejection, frustration and tough times are all a part of the process of

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 43

laying down your life for your dream. You must exchange your life to
see the dream realized and be happy.
Dr. Martin Luther King shared his dream as a young African
American civil rights leader, and life handed him the ultimate lemon
from which much lemonade has been made in the arena of civil
rights. All his life, he remained committed to his dream.
Dr. King certainly understood the power of a dream and the com-
mitment necessary to see that dream realized. Consider this quote
from his I Have A Dream Speech:
“Now, I say to you today my friends, even though we face
the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream.
It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have
a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out
the true meaning of its creed – we hold these truths to be
self-evident, that all men are created equal…”

If you don’t think the dream is being realized, examine the life of
Condoleezza Rice, a black female who became provost of Stanford
University, and later Secretary of State to the most powerful nation on
the planet.
Another courageous dreamer by the name of Rosa Parks couldn’t
sit on the front seat of the bus in 1955 without being sent to jail. Dr.
Rice reminds us: who wants to ride on a bus when AIR FORCE ONE is
available? Yes! Dreams do come true! Thank you, Dr. King!

Dreams Are Not Community Property

As Joseph learned as a teenager, dreams are not community
property and you must watch whom you share your dreams with, or
you, too, may end up in a pit.

44 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 5

“Most people lead lives of quiet desperation…”
–Henry David Thoreau

Most people that are unhappy lack a clear understanding of how

this interesting gift called “life” really works. Their mantra is “LIFE IS
THE PITS!” Happy people say “life is a gift,” but unhappy people call
life the pits. Life is the pits, huh? This is always the indication of an
unhappy individual. How many happy people do you hear saying life
is the pits?
Unhappy people are always looking for utopia, the “perfect
world”, the proverbial pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. They live
for the “happy day” when nothing goes wrong, yet they curse the here
and now. That’s what I call insanity. Ben Franklin has said: “Insanity is
doing the same thing and expecting a different result.” If you want to
come out of unhappiness, quit cursing the darkness and turn on the

All The Lonely People…

All the lonely people, where do they come from? Unhappy
people fill our streets, bars, schools, homes, and society in general,
today. They lead lives of quiet desperation as Henry David Thoreau

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 45

has so eloquently said. The solution to unhappiness is simple.
Happiness is a choice. Knowing this, I am amazed by how many
unhappy people there are today. You can climb out of the pit of
unhappiness. I am here to help through this book.

Life Is Not Always Fair

Happy people have learned that in this world you will have some
trouble. In life, it will occasionally rain on your parade, and junk
happens, so one must learn to cope. This is not negative – it’s called
reality. I am not a negative person, but I try to be pragmatic. Have you
ever heard of Murphy’s Law? Basically, it says, “If anything can go
wrong, it will.” I do not live by Murphy’s Law. I live by the law of
positive belief or faith. When “Murphy” happens, you can overcome
his law by the law of positive faith and a positive mental attitude –
just make lemonade.
But please understand that in this negative, cursed world, junk
happens naturally because we live in a hostile environment. For
example: you don’t have to plant weeds, because they grow naturally
if you neglect your garden. Planted any weed lately? Now I’m not
talking about that!
By the way, I have a tree in my office that is called a money tree.
People often ask me if it is Marijuana? I tell them no, it’s what’s called
a money tree. One guy said, “I bet it is…hint, hint…”
So to be happy, you need to be realistic in your expectations. If
you want to be happy, you must decide to be and act happy, no
matter what the situation.
A lesson that will serve you well, if you believe it, was coined by

46 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
the great Dr. Robert Schuller. Here it is: “LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS FAIR, BUT
When it rains on your parade, don’t throw in the towel! You can
consider it pure joy and make lemonade. Joy is actually a spiritual
force or spiritual strength. Joy is not based on external circumstances
but on your inward belief system. Joy is a decision, not a feeling of
When life is not fair, it helps to have some spiritual strength. Joy
comes from the inside, not from circumstances.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 47

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

48 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 6

“When Fate Hands You A Lemon, Make Lemonade!”
–Dale Carnegie

I want you to pause and use your imagination for a moment.

Imagine a huge glass of delicious chilled lemonade over crushed
ice with a juicy slice of lemon on the rim of the glass (some people
like a little salt on the rim of the glass; I know what you are thinking
– Margarita Time☺). Lemonade is cool, sweet, light, refreshing and
fun to drink. Lemonade is good! (Check out the five recipes in the
appendix of this book and enjoy a refreshing glass).
Most people would agree, especially on a hot day, that lemonade
is good. However, we often forget it takes bitter lemons to make
sweet lemonade. Isn’t it amazing what lemons, water and sugar (or in
our generation; artificial sweetener) can produce. When the bitter is
made sweet, it’s really good, isn’t it?

How Sweet It Is!

Just think about it for a moment. Recall a bitter situation – maybe
a financial setback––that you eventually turned around. The situation
was bitter, but the turn-around was sweet! Poverty is bitter, but
prosperity, HOW SWEET IT IS! Prosperity is always sweeter when it is

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 49

turned into prosperity from the bitterness of deep poverty. Money is
good, but the real truth is you should not have to wait for money or
prosperity to be happy. The best gifts in life don’t cost a cent! Yes, I am
serious. Check this out. It will blow your mind.


by Author Unknown


But, you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming,
no planning your response. Just listen.


Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back
and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love
you have for family and friends.


Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will
say, “I love to laugh with you.”


It can be a simple “Thanks for the help” note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime,
and may even change a life.


A simple and sincere, “You look great in red,” “You did a super
job,” or “That was a wonderful meal,” can make someone’s


Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.


There are times when we want nothing better than to be left
alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude
to others.

50 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to
someone, really it’s not that hard, to say, “Hello” or “Thank

We can give and receive gifts each and every day. Gifts do not
have to be monetary in value, and the thoughts above bring out this
point. How many gifts will you give this week?
I am always amused by the people that think they can buy
happiness. Think about it! Money is good, but money alone will not
bring total fulfillment, because it is more fulfilling to give than to

Sweeter Than Sweet!

Happy people with real life experience understand that the bitter
can be made sweeter than the sweet that has never been bitter. The
more bitter the bitter, the sweeter the sweet. WOW! Wonder of
Let me illustrate: What’s so good about food? Being hungry! If you
fast (go without food) for one day, the next morning you will eat
anything that does not eat you first! Food is always awesome or better
after fasting. The bitterness of hunger makes food taste even better, or
should I say sweeter. But, at times, we have all eaten so much that we
did not want to see food for a while no matter how good it was.

How About Sex?

How about sex? What’s so good about it? Let’s not even go
there… Psychologists say that if a man is deprived of food and sex,
two of the strongest human needs, for any extended period of time,

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 51

after which both food and sex are offered to the deprived soul, he will
always eat the food first. However, after wiping his mouth, he will
“quickly” ask if the other part of the deal is still on the table. You know
what I’m saying; I don’t have to paint any pictures.

What’s Good About This?

Joseph learned to get out of his pit of misery and embraced “the
lemonade principle.” After Joseph was promoted to one of the most
powerful positions in the world, he looked back on all of the unhappy
situations, realizing that it was all a means to produce much good and
preserve many lives. He was only seventeen when life started to hand
him some giant-sized lemons. WOW!
Just think of what Joseph must have felt like as a young man
going through rejection from his brothers, purpose derailed, the pain
of the pit, and the prison of limitations. Through it all, he made
lemonade and so can you!
So, I encourage you to look at your unhappy situation and start
asking yourself; “What’s good about this pit?” Not sarcastically, but
objectively. The truth is that life tends to be a bitter, then sweet,
experience. Most unhappy people have not accepted that. They
expect only good things to happen and make those good things the
basis for their happiness. I don’t want to burst your bubble, but you
can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Even though we tend to not like the tests and trials we go
through, we grow through them and good often is the net result and
life is better and richer, if we learn to make lemonade.

52 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Decide To Be Happy!
Joseph had every opportunity to be unhappy, yet he decided to
be happy. He chose to be happy. As we have already seen by looking
at the life of W. Clement Stone who lived his life to the fullest in every
sense of the word, Happiness is a choice!
The principles of this book have worked to make unhappy people
happy and bitter situations sweet in the lives of those who chose to
make lemonade. Life hands everyone his/her fair share of lemons.
The positive side to this dilemma is it takes lemons to make lemon-
ade. Remember, lemons alone are bitter and tart, but lemonade is
sweet and refreshing.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 53

Putting the lesson in a Box…

3 Lemon Laws
1. No Friends/Know Friends!
2. Unhappy People!
3. Lemonade is Good!

Extract The Good:

Be careful with whom you share your
dreams . . . you may end up in a pit!

“When Life Hands You Lemons

Make Lemonade!”

54 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
When Life Hands You Lemons
Make Lemonade!

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 55

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

56 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets

Choose To Be Free!
“When we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring
from every village and every hamlet, from every state
and every city, we will be able to speed up that day
when all of God’s children, black men and white
men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics,
will be able to join hands and sing..., ‘Free at last!
Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at
last!’ ”
–Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

58 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 7

“Insanity is doing the same thing
and expecting a different result.”
–Ben Franklin

FREEDOM IS NOT FREE! Nor is it cheap. There is always a price

to be paid or a test to pass. LIFE IS A TEST! When you pass a test, you
are free to be happy, be healthy and feel terrific. When you fail, well,
you are not so happy. Show me a happy failure and I will show you a
failure! Some people continue to fail, never commit to changing, and
yet expect a different result of success, freedom and achievement.
Remember, Ben Franklin said, “Insanity is doing the same thing and
expecting a different result.” It’s time to make some quality decisions
to change some things in your life. It’s time to be free.

School Daze!
Remember “school days.” Schools can be like prisons where kids
feel like failures. Could this have something to do with all of the school
shootings? Some, when failing in life or in school, feel like going postal!
(Remember the days when the fired postal employee came back gun
in hand…) I think teachers should pay special attention to those who
are struggling in school. School is tough enough in itself, but man

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 59

when you are failing – you feel like a bubble-headed booby! A real
I am not a psychologist, but I still remember the “feeling” of
incarceration from some of my school years, especially middle school.
Bible College, well, that was like a “glorified” prison... There must be
a better way to educate children. I think that a wise teacher makes
learning fun.
You probably still have some nightmares about the bad-hair days
in school. I call it the school daze, because I was often in a daze,
wondering what I was doing there.
Here’s a good one: “There was a kid in school caught gazing out
of the window by the teacher while he was lecturing. The teacher,
intending to embarrass this kid, screamed at him, “John what are you
doing staring out of the window?” John replied, “I was just thinking”.
The teacher responded: “Don’t you know that you are not supposed
to think in school.” WOW, we are often our own worst enemy!
Ever have a dream of rushing off to school with just your under-
wear on, or some other crazy, embarrassing dream? I do, once in a
while, even though I have been out of high school for… I won’t say
☺… We need solutions for our schools. We have babies making
babies and kids killing teachers. Mercy, Mercy me…
Perhaps if parents would start to bring up happy, healthy kids and
give them the understanding that freedom is a choice and freedom is
not free, it would stop the shootings. I think it would. I have never
seen a happy child involved in shooting classmates and teachers.
Have you? Perhaps you should give this book to every principal you

60 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Happy, Healthy, Terrific Schools
What if every principal started the day by having all students say:
“I feel happy, healthy & terrific”? I don’t think it would hurt or make
matters any worse. Kids with guns shooting folks are not saying, “I feel
Anyhow, we humans are constantly being tested by situations
and circumstances. To make it plain, life is LIKE a big school, but the
school of life does not have to be a prison. You don’t have to shoot
your way out of it. That is not recipe for happiness! Leave your guns
at home, please! Every day is a gift and an opportunity to learn new

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 61

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

62 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 8

“Every day is a good day.”

I want to share with you how to learn some real lessons that will
help you to be happy and to get out of any prison in which you may
find yourself. Remember, freedom is always a choice, but you must
learn the lesson and pass the test.
Have you ever gotten up on a day off and thought of all of the
things you had to do to catch up? And while you were getting ready
to enter the rat race, the intuitive thought about today’s lesson came
to you: YOU NEED TO LEARN TO RELAX! Come out of the prison of
stress! Then comes “the test” of someone pulling out in front of you
in traffic. If your horn was a weapon, many would have been
slaughtered that day! Now you are back in school…the school of life.
Every day is an opportunity to learn, no matter what’s happening –
good, bad, or ugly. And remember, you will be tested, and you really
don’t know if you learned the lesson until you pass the test.

Life Is A Test
Life is a test. But the simple truth of the test of life is that the test
is not rocket science! It is pretty simple, and it all comes down to a

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 63

measurement of character. The test reveals your character or who you
really are. I have seen many people make positive happy statements
during good times, and as soon as life hands them some lemons and
a marital, financial or family challenge hits them personally, they come
apart like a cheap suit. Tough times and times of testing bring out
what we are really made of. Les Brown said, “At the end of a long
tough day of testing when you get ready to relax for the evening, say
to yourself: ‘This has not been a bad day – it’s been a character
building day’.”
Tough times reveal to us what we have or have not learned. Have
you learned to be happy in tough situations on the “character building
days”? The tragedy is that many people over fifty years of age have still
not learned to be happy! Hey! It does not take that long to learn to be
happy. You don’t learn anything from the second or third kick of the
mule. My advice to you is that you develop the attitude that every day
is a good day! Start by saying daily: I Feel Happy, I Feel Healthy, I Feel
Terrific, even when you feel lousy.

Words Control Feelings

One lesson you must learn is that words control feelings. Most
of us have learned to let feelings control our words and our lives. We
say what we feel instead of what we want. Learn to say what you
want and you will get more of what you want!
Ask yourself daily: WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT TODAY? Here is some
good advice to get you started: “Every day that you wake up without
a chalk outline around your body is a great day!”
Tough times will produce joy and happiness if we learn to make

64 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
lemonade while going through the tough time or the test. Tough
times are where character is tested and formed. You can learn to
make the best of bad situations financially, emotionally, physically,
relationally, and socially. Are you in a sour relationship, a dysfunctional
family, financially challenged? Welcome to breathing! Happiness and
freedom are a choice that you and you alone can make. You can
choose to make lemonade!

Yeah, But I Had A Dead-Beat Dad!

Now, let me illustrate how tough times do not dictate who you
become, but how you respond to tough times determines who you
become. I love this story: “Two kids grew up in the same home with
an abusive, alcoholic, dead-beat dad. Now they were both adults. At
the age of fifty-one, one son had become an alcoholic and the other,
by the age of forty-nine, had become a millionaire and the owner of
a successful business. An interviewer asked the first son, how and why
he became an alcoholic.
He said, “With a dead-beat dad like mine, how could I be
anything else?” One week later, the same person interviewed his
successful brother and asked the same question but the interviewer
related the question to how he became such a successful entre-
preneur. The successful son, likewise, replied, “With a dead-beat dad
like mine, how could I be anything else?”
Both young men were handed lemons. One became bitter while
the other became better and made lemonade. It’s not chance, but a
choice! One son chose to be free and succeed; the other chose the
prison of limitation. The alcoholic dad was life’s big test for both men.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 65

Do not let the past with a dead-beat dad or an alcoholic mother
determine your present happiness. I believe you can and will pass the

Cramming Does Not Work…

For you to pass a test, you prepare or study. Most of us live our
lives like college students who party the time away, then wait until the
day (or night) before the exam and burn the midnight oil with coffee,
energy drinks, or anything else that will keep us awake. In short, WE
The one lesson you must learn is; cramming doesn’t work in real
life. Have you ever been in college, running hard, eating junk food, not
exercising, partying, wasting time watching too much TV, and finding
yourself cramming the night before the test? You know what I mean.
You prepare and you succeed; you fail to prepare and you…well…fail.
It has been said: “Spectacular performance is always preceded by
unspectacular preparation!”
Preparation is the major key to passing the tests of life. Joseph
prepared himself and applied the right principles in each negative
situation, and earned an A+ with his life. He somehow saw that life
was not rocket science and found happiness in each situation. He
believed that each situation was a test, ONLY A TEST!
Mr. Jim Moran, founder and owner of Southeast Toyota has said,
“The future belongs to those who prepare for it.” Preparation is the
major key to passing the test of life.

66 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Mr. Jim Moran, founder and owner of Southeast Toyota has
said, “The future belongs to those who prepare for it.” Mr.
Moran is legendary in the automotive business, a member of the
Horatio Alger Club, and a recent inductee into the Automotive Hall
of Fame.
He sent me a personal autographed copy of his book, JIM
MORAN - THE COURTESY MAN, thanking me for my training and
the help I had given John Williams, the owner of Toyota Mall of
Georgia and Southeast Toyota. I was greatly humbled and
honored by this act of kindness from such a man of great stature.
Mr. Moran carries a big stick! And has a big heart. God bless Jim

I Feel Like I’m In Prison

You say, “Yeah but, Bernard, I don’t like this situation, I feel like I’m
in a prison.” You may be in a prison. Maybe you are in a prison of the
mind or emotions. Your thoughts have imprisoned you. The mental
and emotional prisons that millions live in hour by hour in quiet
desperation can be tough. Are you really free? Most people live in
mental or emotional prisons. They are not physically incarcerated, but
they are mentally and emotionally locked away.
If you are a prisoner or an ex-prisoner, there is hope for you. If you
are in prison, keep a positive, productive mental attitude, like
Joseph did. If you are recently out of prison, you will need to transition

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 67

back into society effectively. Much of this transition is mental, due to
the mindset that is developed while incarcerated.
Most unhappy people always have a poor self-concept. In fact, I
was a full-time counselor for over ten years and never did I encounter
an unhappy person with a healthy self-concept. Let’s take the chains of
low self-esteem off –NOW. You can come out and Be Happy, Be
Healthy, and Feel Terrific!

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

68 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 9


“If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember
that every experience develops some latent force
within you, you will grow vigorous and happy…”
–John Heywood

Many people are simply stuck in a prison of self-destructive

patterns because of the negative self-concept they hold. Remember
that self-concept is the way you see yourself or how much you like
yourself. This negative self-concept can be changed if you understand
the process.
You can believe in yourself and become a high achiever! It’s
about making the best of bad circumstances, like prisons or Making
Transitioning from prison to a life of freedom can be tough. I
believe that the transition can successfully be made. Prisoners, in
general, face more difficult and problematic transitions as they return
to the free world. The same is true when you have been in the prison
of a bad, unhappy situation, financial scarcity or an abusive relation-
ship. Mental strongholds are developed while in prison that must be
destroyed and pulled down. You must destroy the limiting mindset of
wrong thinking and move ahead in freedom.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 69

Who Are You?
In many cases, you really don’t know who you are or what you
are capable of until your back is up against the wall by being forced
into a bad situation or a prison. When you find yourself forced into a
terrible situation, you find out who you really are. Tough situations
reveal true character.
Joseph’s greatness is revealed in how he handled himself in life’s
tough circumstances. Who are you anyhow? What will you do in a bad
situation that is threatening to steal your dream?
Just the thought of prison can cause heart failure for those not
prepared for it. The late ENRON founder, Ken Lay, died of a heart
attack while awaiting sentencing. Many believe the thought of going
to prison was more than he could handle and his heart was simply
overwhelmed. I don’t wish that on my worst enemy. Others are as
tough as nails and make the best of it.
I shudder to mention him because of his insane character, but
think about Saddam insane, oops, Hussein. The guy seems to be as
tough as nails. He seems to have found a way to cope with going from
the PALACE to the PRISON, for the time being. Tough people seem to
find a way to survive. Are you going to be a survivor or a casualty?
How will you respond in a terrible situation? Who are you?

Look For The Good…

I heard a story of two boys who were thrown into a barn full of
manure as a punishment for breaking a window on their mean grand-
father’s farm. Since the grandfather could not seem to get the truth
out of them about who threw the rock, he decided to punish both of

70 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
them. Were your parents that way? Everybody gets tortured until
somebody talks.
The grandfather came out to check on the boys after about two
hours. One boy was sitting on a milking stool in the corner with a long
face, holding his nose, moping. The other kid had a shovel and was
frantically digging through the manure. The mean grandfather said to
the boy with the shovel, “Boy what the heck are you doing now?” The
boy smiled and said, “Grandpa, with all of this manure, there must be
a pony in this barn.”
Now that’s what I call the Making Lemonade mindset! This kid
would not let his mind be imprisoned or controlled by a negative
situation. Some of you are thinking...lots of manure...that sounds like
my life. Just a little humor.☺
So much for manure…now, for a cleaner lesson, here are some
quotes or affirmations that will help you through some of the tougher
days when you feel like you have been thrown into the barn:

“Any day above ground is a great day!”

“Any day I wake up without a chalk outline

around my body is a great day!”

“It’s not a bad day today! It’s a character-building day!”

Good affirmations give you something practical that you can sink
your teeth into when you are dealing with the prisons of life, instead
of just cussing your boss, the company or the circumstance.
What you believe is revealed in the words you speak and actions
you take during a crisis.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 71

A Real Desperate Housewife
Let’s take another look at Joseph in a tough situation where life
was handing him some lemons. After Joseph had been taken to Egypt
by the Ishmaelites, he was bought by Potiphar, an Egyptian, one of
Pharaoh’s officials and the manager of Pharaoh’s household.
Joseph ended up living in the home of his Egyptian master.
Potiphar became very fond of Joseph and made him his personal
aide. He put him in charge of all his personal affairs, turning every-
thing over to him. All Potiphar had to concern himself with was eating
three meals a day. By the way, Joseph was a strikingly handsome
young man. As time went on, his master’s wife became infatuated
with Joseph and one day said, “Sleep with me.” He wouldn’t do it.
He said to his master’s wife, “Look, with me here, my master
doesn’t give a second thought to anything that goes on here—he’s put
me in charge of everything he owns. He treats me as an equal. The
only thing he hasn’t turned over to me is you. You’re his wife, after all!
How could I violate this trust?”

Fatal Attraction
Zelikah, the wife of Potiphar, admired Joseph from the start, and
had a fatal attraction for him. One account notes that Joseph was
possibly the most attractive man alive at that time. Remember that
Joseph’s mother Rachel had it all. As the Commodores, the 70’s funk
group would say: she would make an old man wish for younger days.
Zelikah at first attempted to seduce Joseph by arraying him in fine
garments, putting before him the most delicious viands, and speaking
to him in amorous terms. These means failing, she used threats, but

72 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
without effect, for Joseph remained inflexible. History teaches that the
vehemence of her unrequited passion soon impaired her health.
Remember peace of mind, peace of body?

Sex And The City!

On one occasion, when some noble ladies of Egypt had come to
see her, she told her maid to give them oranges and sent Joseph in
to wait upon them. The women, unable to turn their eyes from
Joseph, cut their fingers while peeling the oranges, and when Zelikah
asked them the cause, they answered that they could not help looking
at Joseph. She then said: “What would you do if, like myself, you had
him every day before your eyes?”
Zelikah told Joseph that she was ready to kill her husband so that
he might marry her legally. Zelikah promised that if he would yield to
her, she would embrace his religion and induce all the Egyptians to
do the same. She next brought Joseph into her chamber in the inner
part of the house and placed him on her bed, over which was the
image of her Egyptian god. Then she covered her face with a veil and
invited Joseph to have sex with her.

Happiness = Doing The Right Thing

The net result is that she pestered him day after day after day, but
he stood his ground. He refused to go to bed with her. One day, when
he came to the house to do his work, none of the household servants
happened to be there. She grabbed him by his coat, saying, “Sleep
with me!” He left his coat in her hand and ran out of the house.
When she realized that he had left his coat in her hand and ran
outside, she called to her house servants: “Look — this Hebrew punk

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 73

shows up and before you know it, he’s trying to seduce us. He tried
to make love to me, but I yelled as loud as I could. (That’s the Smalls’
paraphrase version ☺) Joseph would not compromise. He did the
right thing, which made him happier in the long haul. We are always
happier when we do the right thing in life.

She went on to say, “With all my yelling and screaming; he left his coat
beside me here and ran outside.” She kept his coat right there until
his master came home. She told him the same story. She said, “The
Hebrew slave, the one you brought to us, (notice how she made it all
his fault, kind of like a poor hiring decision) came after me and tried
to use me as his plaything. When I yelled and screamed, he left his
coat with me and ran outside.” When Joseph’s master heard his wife’s
story, he was furious. He took Joseph and threw him into the jail
where the king’s prisoners were locked up. But there in jail, the head
jailer put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners — he ended up manag-
ing the whole operation. As the old saying goes, “you can’t keep a
good man down.”

Joseph Makes Lemonade

The head jailer gave Joseph free rein, never even checked on him;
whatever he did, it worked out for the best. By the way, I find it
interesting that Potiphar believed his goofy wife instead of Joseph,
who had been his loyal aide. I’m sure this was not the first game that
she had played like this. Joseph found himself in a very bad situation
when his boss’ beautiful wife invited him to have sex with her (now I
know that some of you are thinking, “What’s so bad about that

74 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
situation” – watch it now!) How many guys would pass that test?
Would you? Particularly when you are invited to come and get it. She
was probably looking at his six-pack and thinking about her old man
who needed his daily double-dose of Viagra to keep up with her… And
remember, Joseph was a handsome young man with his hormones
working overtime.

…This Dream That You Have?

I met Mr. Peter Daniels, the Australian self-made millionaire, and
spent several days with him during a convention I sponsored in
Anchorage, Alaska. The first night he brought a powerful message
entitled “What is This Dream That You Have”. He really opened up
the life of Joseph in a pragmatic, contemporary way.


Mr. Daniels, a personal friend, is a wealthy Australian entre-
preneur with a third grade education, and was, at one time, the
number one motivational speaker in Australia. I had him do a
convention for us in Anchorage, Alaska and found him to be the
real deal. He also endorsed my customer service excellence book
entitled Thank God It’s Sunday! One of his favorite phrases is,
“TURN BACK ON YOUR DREAM MACHINE!” He truly walks his talk
His book on How to Handle a Major Crisis became my ever-
present companion and helped keep me motivated through an
extremely difficult time.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 75

Joseph was being offered sex by a wealthy, sophisticated,
beautiful woman, yet he had the discipline to run and not yield to
temptation. Some men would have been running into it, not from it.
He ended up in prison, but it is not over yet. It was tight, but right!
Because he refused to have sex with a beautiful woman, he was
thrown into prison. “What is this dream that you have now Joseph?”
Remember, once imprisoned, it is often hard to transition back to
freedom in society. The prison was designed to destroy Joseph’s
When Joseph was thrown into prison, I believe that they threw
away the keys and said, forget you. However, because of his principle-
centered values and positive mental attitude, he eventually got out
and lived a highly productive life. What unhappy prison has life’s
circumstances put you into and thrown away the keys? You can come
out with a coat of shining colors! You may not be in a physical prison,
but does any of this parallel what you have been going through? Here
are some keys to getting out or an exit strategy, if you would. You are
coming out!

The Prison of Racism

Remember, when we talk about prisons, we are not just talking
about literal incarceration. For example, many blacks still live in a
prison of RACISM. Now I do believe that some racism still exists in
society, but in many cases, it is simply a mindset of the “victim” of
racism. Now I understand that if ten people walked up to you with
white hoods and torches, that is more than just mental. BUT WHEN IS

76 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Much racism is mental! It is a mental prison with the doors of
opportunity wide open; however, many are still sitting inside com-
plaining about racial injustice. I believe that we live in a time when we
will see the dream of racial equality realized.
The big question: Is it how you think or how “they” think?
Thoughts die unborn if not acted upon. Like one guy said, YOU CAN
from the process of institutionalization some keys that will help us in

Mental Spectators - Strongholds Of The Mind

Are you a mental prisoner? If you are a prisoner to even a single
mental spectator or stronghold that gives you thumbs down when
you try to improve yourself, then you will give up on your quest for
self-improvement. A mental spectator is like a demon or stronghold
of the mind that puts you down every time you try to improve your
life. A stronghold is an established way of thinking. Mental spectators
stand upon the strongholds, if you would, and declare your limitations
when you try to break free and be happy.
If you pay attention to mental spectators, your self-concept will
remain in the gutter. For example, say that you decide to improve your
vocabulary or the way you talk.
This improvement will help you understand complicated issues
and will also give you confidence to talk more professionally at work.
This increased confidence would naturally make you feel better about
yourself, and also enhance your job opportunities and increase your
income. So you study a vocabulary book, and you learn new words

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 77

and terms. But when you try to use one around another person, your
mental spectator stands upon the stronghold of limited thinking,
laughs and tells you that you sound phony, “like ignorant trash trying
to sound smart.” Or, “like a black person trying to sound white.” (I’ve
been there, done that…)

Don’t Doubt Yourself!

Instead of controlling your mental spectator, you collapse in a
heap at the foot of the stronghold, a vanquished gladiator. Not only
are you in prison, THE PRISON IS NOW IN YOU!!! You are bound! Your
opponent—self-doubt stood on the stronghold of negative thinking
—made one threatening gesture and down you went. You caved in.
The dream of self-improvement died. Worst of all, you added strength
to your mental spectators and further established their stronghold,
because they thrive on your each and every loss, and you go deeper
into bondage. The mind is the arena where this war is fought. You
must knock down the stronghold of negative thinking and renew your
mind to positive, productive thoughts.

Negative Thoughts
What has happened to you is that negative thoughts caused you
to revert from the new, improved behavior (speaking more intelli-
gently) back to an old behavior (speaking as you always have).
Ruling the negative thoughts that are keeping you down is a must
to get out of any mental prison. Self-doubt can’t keep you down if you
change your thinking from negative to positive. Negative people who
have nothing good to say to you will try to keep you down.

78 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
You can learn to break out of negativity and be happy. I’m going
to show you how. You are not limited by your gender, age, race or
nationality. You are only limited by negative thoughts, which lead to
negative words and impotent actions. You can change your thinking
and change your life! Oprah’s significant other, Mr. Stedman Graham,
is one terrific individual. He speaks often of how he had to overcome
negativity to succeed in life and business.


I was honored to be a speaker on a program in Manhattan at
the New York Hilton where Stedman Graham (Oprah’s significant
other) was the keynote speaker. I had the honor of meeting Mr.
Graham and chatting with him at my products table. Mr. Graham
believes that building effective relationships is the key to success
in the 21st century, regardless of your race and gender. Oprah is
proof, as Stedman says. I saw Mr. Graham on Larry King Live
recently, and I could not help reminiscing on his powerful
presentation in New York.

Breaking Limitations
Many are like the little elephant that as a baby was chained to a
stake in the ground. The stake and chain had a two-hundred-pound
capacity, which limited the elephant’s freedom to roam about the zoo.
The elephant was trained or limited by the environment (the stake
and chain). He was “chained and limited or imprisoned” so he quit

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 79

trying to break free. The problem is that after the elephant was fully
grown, weighing over 1000 pounds, he still had that mental limitation
of the two-hundred-pound stake and chain. He had been trained by
his limitation and his perception had become his reality, when he
could have easily broken the limitation with his strength. His weight
alone gave him towing capacity to break his limitation.
The prison can create mental limitations that linger long after you
have been emancipated! The transition starts in mental transforma-
tion. I do not believe that prison automatically makes you a psycho!
So stop making excuses if you are an ex-prisoner. STOP NOW! Think
about Joseph who came out stronger than he went in.
Prisons do not, in general, make people “crazy”. However, for at
least some people, prison can produce negative, long-lasting mental
chains. Knowing how to turn a negative situation into a positive is a
result of knowing how to MAKE LEMONADE. Imprisonment demands

Productivity In Prison
Recently, I was watching one of my favorite shows. The show is
Larry King Live. LARRY KING IS THE MAN! On this show, Mr. King was
interviewing prisoners who were on death row in San Quentin. Many
of them had become positive, productive people of faith and were
making furniture and so forth. They had become the head and not the
tail, even while in prison. That’s what Joseph did. Joseph decided that
since he was going to probably be in prison a while, he might as well
be a “Top Cat” in jail. He remembered that the elevator to the top was
broken; he had to take the stairs of hard work.

80 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
From Prison To Productivity
When I read this, I can’t help but think of the fact that Joseph was
extremely successful in transitioning from prison to productivity in
society. Perhaps there are principles and patterns that we can learn
from to lower the rate of recidivism in our society, a major problem
that causes much unhappiness to individual and families in America.
Recidivism is defined as the tendency to relapse into a previous
undesirable behavior, especially crime. Here is some research that I
did on this critical topic that I hope will motivate you to not only be
happy, be healthy, and feel terrific, for yourself, but to help others
when released from a criminal institution. Let’s remember those that
are bound. I want to take some time now to help those that have
been imprisoned. Remember, Joseph came out with a sound mind
and so can you!

It Ain’t Rocket Science!

question is: will you look for the good in the test and make lemon-
Remember that life is a test!!!
It Ain’t Rocket Science!

It rains on the good and the bad. When it rains on you, will you
become bitter or better. You are going through what you are going
through, so don’t let negative “phases” faze you! GOD USES LIFE’S
BRUISES! You don’t have to be a genius to be happy... This simple
book is going to change your life!

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 81


1. Ask yourself: what’s good about this prison experience?

2. Change the predominant state of your mind from

negative to positive.

3. Rip up and throw out negativity.

4. Pull down mental strongholds.

5. Declare war on limiting thoughts.

6. Replace the negative with positive thoughts NOW.

7. Make positive affirmations.

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

82 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Putting the lesson in a Box…

3 Lemon Laws
1. Choose To Be Free!
2. Life Is A Test!
3. Are You Stuck?

Extract The Good:

You are going through what you are going
through, so don’t let negative phases, faze you!
Pass the test and be free!

“When Life Hands You Lemons

Make Lemonade!”

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 83

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

84 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets

Breaking Out Of Comfort Zones!

“We are the earth shakers of the future, individuals
who challenge the norm. We despise the ‘status quo’.
We believe that it’s good to break what’s not broken
only to see if it may be improved. We understand that
good is the enemy of best. We believe that winning
isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. We believe that
Comfort Zones are likened to Hell. We are committed
to breaking out of our Comfort Zones!”
– Bernard Smalls
I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

86 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 10


“Every successful man I have heard of has done the best he
could with conditions as he found them...”
–Edgar Watson Howe


it’s a good one. Promotion in life demands that we leave our comfort
zones. I want to take a look at the critical topic of cultivating your self-
concept. This is a major key to being happy, being healthy, and feeling
terrific. Self-concept and comfort zones are synonymous (the same).
By the age of 18, most of us have developed our self-concepts or
Comfort Zones. Self-concept is simply how much you like yourself.
To be happy, be healthy, and feel terrific, and be promoted, you
must develop a healthy self-concept. Self-concept is not some deep
spiritual or psychological thing, it is simply the way you see yourself.
Speaking of comfort, as I am writing this chapter I am relaxing with
my beautiful wife on our thirty-first wedding anniversary at the Ritz-
Carlton at Reynolds Plantation. WOW! What an awesome place! If you
are poverty minded, a place like this could be what you need to break
out of your comfort zone and expand your capacity for promotion.
Why not go somewhere nice today and challenge your comfort
zone? Go check out the local Mercedes dealership or some other fine

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 87

retail store and pay attention to how it feels to expand your comfort
zone. You only feel comfortable when operating within your self-
concept. This is why I call it your comfort zone.
Joseph never lost sight of the fact that he was destined for great-
ness and promotion, which kept his self-concept intact. Remember
his dream depicted him as a ruler living at the top of the food chain
(literally). It takes a healthy self-concept to keep your dream alive
when everything goes wrong.

The Power of Self-Concept

Your self-concept is the result of conditioning and past experi-
ences. Many unhappy people have been programmed with erroneous
data from childhood, which affects their beliefs, conclusions, and
behaviors – especially their self-limiting beliefs! A self-limiting belief is
something that is limiting your success and effectiveness because
YOU believe it. Whether it’s true or not, it will limit you if you believe
it is true. As Henry Ford has said; “The person that says I CAN and the
person that says I CAN’T are both right.” Your beliefs are either self-
limiting or self-liberating. All of this is a result of your self-concept.

Improving Your Self-Concept

Early childhood training and development is where it starts...
Guess what? If you were the first or second child, your parents were
just practicing on you. Hopefully they got better with each child. Your
upbringing created certain comfort zones in your self-concept, good
or bad. But don’t just roll over, play dead, and blame it on your

88 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
How To Increase Your Earnings
Here is a powerful example: “You will rarely ever earn more on
the outside than you see yourself earning on the inside. If you have a
40k self-concept, it is virtually impossible for you to earn much more.
Let me illustrate; If you want to earn 100K or even 1 million annually,
you must see yourself earning that amount first in your self-concept.
You must increase your self-concept level of earning before you earn
more. Even if you happen to earn more because of a fluke, rather than
your self-concept earning level, your heart will scramble to bring you
back down to the level of your comfort zone.
I have trained many salespeople who developed a self-concept of
Mr. Big Bucks and did well financially, until someone told him or her
that they were being greedy. They believed the limiting words and
lowered their self-concept; consequently, their income went down. It
works like a thermostat.
Your self-concept produces whatever you engage it to produce.
You make the vision of income within and the vision makes you the
money. It’s an inside-out operation. You were designed to live from
the inside-out, not the outside-in. Here is a major, major secret: Inner
change precedes outer change. When your mind goes through
“them changes” your life goes through changes. As a man thinks in his
heart, so is he.

Three Basic Parts Of The Self-Concept

Now let’s do a little study of self-concept to give you some tools
to work with in improving your self-image. I want to make it plain, so
that you can see the major principles and make clear distinctions by

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 89

understanding this vital subject of self-concept. There are three basic
parts of the Self-Concept:

1) Your self-ideal – your goals, plans, vision.

2) Your self-image – your mental pictures.
3) Your self-esteem – value & respect.

Three Powerful Mental Laws

A law is simply something that works every time it is put to work...
Gravity is a perfect example: what goes up, must come down.
Here are three mental laws that will affect your self-concept and,
consequently, your happiness:

The Law of Belief – whatever you believe with conviction

becomes your reality.

The Law of Expectations – whatever you expect, with

confidence, becomes your own self-fulfilling prophecy.

The Law of Correspondence – your outer life is a mirror of

your inner life.

Now are you starting to see that happiness and health are inward
realities before they manifest in your life?

An Ecology Check
Now that you have started on the road to a healthy self-concept,
following is an ecology check or a check-up from the neck up to keep
the filthy smog of low self-worth out.
When you see these consistently lived out in your life, you can
know that you are well on the way.

90 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets

✓ Resilience in ups and downs.

✓ Inner contentment.

✓ Goal orientation.

✓ Energy & enthusiasm.

✓ Quality of relationships.

All happy people have a positive self-concept, which produces

resilience or a certain toughness in life. Thesaurus dictionary defines

resilience as buoyancy, which is the ability or tendency of an object to

rise above the surface and to float. It also means to bounce back.

People with healthy self-images have more bounce-back ability.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 91

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

92 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 11


“Winning is something that builds physically and mentally
every day that you train and every night that you dream."
–Emmitt Smith

Happy people know that it takes healthy self-esteem to bounce

back and rise above the surface again when life has handed you
lemons. Operating in THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE demands that you
have a healthy self-concept.
These happy people have inner contentment, are goal-oriented,
are filled with energy and enthusiasm, and tend to have quality
relationships. Why? They like themselves! The truth is, “I’m okay and
you’re okay!” But you must believe in yourself.

5 Practical Ways To Develop Your Self Concept:

1) Accept responsibility for you.
2) Work on yourself everyday.
3) See yourself as a success.
4) Think and talk only about the things you want.
5) Talk to yourself positively. (Regularly say: I like myself!)

Joseph found the good in unhappy situations because he had a

healthy self-concept, which eventually led him to a life of happiness,

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 93

wealth and greatness. Neither the pit nor the prison could destroy his
self-concept or inner-image of his dream. A healthy self-concept is a
major key to getting on the road to happiness.
I have discovered several practical qualities to cultivating your
self-esteem. Here are a few: big, challenging written goals, clear
standards and values, success experiences, self acceptance, receiving
recognition and praise, accomplishments and rewards.

Start A New Habit

I want you to start a new habit. Everyday when you awake,
regardless of what you are facing that day, say out loud at least three
psychological process called positive self talk or a spiritual law called
confession. “You can have what you say” because your words have
power. I guarantee you that unhappy people wake up saying just the
negative opposite. Happy people wake up saying good things, and
these words set the course of their day. Positive words set a positive
course and produce positive results. Accentuate the positive and
eliminate the negative.

Seeing Is Believing
Joseph had dreams of destiny that gave him an inner picture and
formed his inner image of ultimate success. You could say: What you
see is what you get! Start seeing yourself as a happy, healthy and
fulfilled person. Get the paint brush out and paint it on the canvas of
your heart and mind. You can do this with practice. Following is one
of my favorites:

94 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
An artist saw a tramp slumped over on a park bench, sitting
near a trash can, holes in his shoes, a worn out hat, and the seat
of his pants worn so thin that if he had a dime in his pocket he
could touch the outside of his pocket and tell whether it was
heads or tails. The artist gazed at this man while he painted on
the canvas. After hours of diligent concentration he presented
his finished portrait to the man on the park bench. Only, the
man on the portrait was well dressed, standing upright, smiling,
and looking confident and positive.

The tramp said to the artist, “That’s not me!”

The artist compassionately said “That’s the you I see!”

The tramp straightened up his hat, pulled his shoulders back,

and standing, said confidently, “If that’s the me you see, that’s
the me I’ll be!”

The tramp then proudly strutted off like a king.

You are the artist of your life. Get the brush out and start painting your
dream life on the canvas of your heart.

Inner Change Comes First

What changed with the tramp in the park? The positive words he
heard painted a picture and changed his inner image or the way he
saw himself. The good news is that you don’t have to wait for
someone else to speak those words. You can speak them to your self,
create your own inner image and set into motion the self-fulfilling
Former Dallas Cowboy great, running back Emmitt Smith, painted
a picture of success. He saw himself as a winner and spoke it as a
child while he watched his idol, Walter Payton playing with the

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 95

Chicago Bears on TV, and what a winner he was! The outstanding
result is that he ended up breaking the late, great Walter Payton’s
record and is the all-time leading rusher in professional football. Now
that’s terrific!

What You See Is What You Get!

If you can raise your standard by changing your inner image, you
are well on the way to being the person you want to be.
Yes! “The Me I see, is the Me I’ll be!” What a mystery? The way
you see yourself can change if you dream some bigger dreams and
set some new, exciting goals for your self-concept by painting them
on the canvas of your heart and mind.
It’s called self-image psychology. Here is how it works: when you
change your inner image of your self or self-concept, you set a cause
in motion in the inner world to change your outer world. It works with
happiness, health and prosperity!
You can see it and be it! You can have and be all that you see
yourself having and being within. Have faith! Faith is the evidence of
things not seen. All things are possible to those who believe!
You can be happy, be healthy and feel terrific but you must paint
the inner image on your heart and write it down and look at it
everyday. Happiness is really an inside job.

When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade!

• Choosing your goals is choosing your standards!
• Choosing your goals is setting your standards!
• You make the choice and the choice controls the chooser!

96 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 12

“Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the
new day as another special gift from your Creator,
Another golden opportunity to complete what you
were unable to finish yesterday."
–Og Mandino

I was honored not long ago to be a speaker on a program in New

York with Ralph Carter, who is best known for his portrayal of Michael
Evans, the youngest cast member on the 60’s sitcom, Good Times.
After television, he was frequently an actor in Broadway plays. I met
Ralph at the conference and I was impressed with his humility and
down-to-earth manner. I love meeting famous people that display
modesty instead of arrogance (We have all met our share of super-
egos). Ralph Carter is a great man with tremendous humility who is
thankful for the gift of life. During this meeting Ralph shared some of
the personal challenges he has had in life since starring on Good
Times. Life has handed him his share of lemons.
Ralph understands the lemonade principle. Here is what he said
about the genesis of the show which made his famous: “Good Times
was a wonderful product of the 1960s. If not for the civil rights
movement, you would not have had GOOD TIMES.”

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 97

The Best Of Times…

“It was the best of times; it was the worst of times."

From Tale of Two Cities (1859) by Charles Dickens

It’s interesting to note that out of the “lemons” of racial tension

and the consequent civil rights movement, the highly successful
sitcom “GOOD-TIMES” was birthed. As Ralph Carter has said, if there
were no civil rights movement, there would have been no Good
A classical poet by the name of Charles Dickens described the
lemonade principle well in his great literary work, Tale of Two Cities.

“It Was The Best Of Times; It Was The Worst Of Times.”

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age
of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of
belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light,
it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was
the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had
nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were
all going direct the other way….
–Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities English novelist (1812-1870)

Mr. Dickens eloquently drives home the fact that the Good Ole
Days were not “all” good. Someone has humorously said: “The only
good thing about the good old days is that they are gone!” Unhappy
people are always looking backwards to good times instead of look-
ing forward to good times.
Since you get what you focus on, my advice is that you stop
looking back. REMEMBER LOT’S WIFE!

98 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Pain Produces Pleasure
I encourage you to embrace the message of “the best of times
and the worst of times.” What does this poem mean anyhow? Well,
first of all, good poetry is designed to leave room for the imagination
of the reader. However, here’s the message I want you to get; Good
times and Tough times are synonymous, or the same, once you learn
to make lemonade. So, are you living while you are living? Ben
Franklin said; “Most men die at 25 but are not buried until 70!”
Life often offers you two sides of the coin, as it were. So regard-
less of the hand that life hands you, make it your affirmation: I Feel
Happy, I Feel Healthy and I Feel Terrific! In good times or tough times
– I Live the Life!
Life tends to be a cycle of pain and then pleasure. Peter Daniels
says, “Success is the Willingness to Bear Pain – Not Be A Pain…”
Let me illustrate:
• Women often go through pain to give birth to a child.
• You starve, sweat and workout, to have a lean muscular body.
• You delay gratification so that you have financial abundance.

Un-Happiness Is…
Unhappiness is happiness with the prefix “un” on it. If you are
unhappy, you are closer to happiness than you realize, just take the
“UN” off of unhappiness and you will have happiness. Why? Because
unhappiness is the reciprocal of happiness. Reciprocal means cor-
responding, yet the exact opposite. Let me illustrate; north is the
reciprocal of south. If you are going south and you want to go north,
all you have to do is about-face! East is the reciprocal of west. Hate is

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 99

the reciprocal of love. Happiness is the reciprocal of unhappiness. It’s
pretty simple. If you are unhappy, you can turn it around today. You
can do this by looking forward to good things. Expect good to
eventually come out of the times of discouragement.
I heard a wise elderly man say years ago: “Son, the things we cry
about today, we laugh about tomorrow.” So why not laugh today?
Why not be happy? The truth is that often we are simultaneously
experiencing the best of times and the worst of times and unhappi-
ness is happiness. WOW, what an oxymoron….
I believe that any experience in life can result in good if the right
principle is applied during the challenging times. This is the bitter/
sweet concept which, as the old saying goes: “It hurts so bad but feels
so good.” The Worst of Times can be the Best of Times.

Failure Is An Opportunity!
When we look at this man called Joseph, one thing we learn is
that all that was meant for evil against Joseph resulted in good. The
worst of times produced the best of times in the life of Joseph
because he never let go of his dream. He understood that failure is
simply success turned inside out.
I really like what Henry Ford has said: “Failure is only the
opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” That has helped me
Failure should be feedback that you are doing something wrong,
a learning experience, if you would. There is hope for you if you have
failed because “FAILURE IS NEVER FINAL!” What about you? Are you
facing challenging situations in you family, finances, profession or

100 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
employment? Ask yourself, “What’s good about this situation that I
am in?” Here is some good news for you:

The season of darkness is often the spring of hope.

Be Happy!

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 101

Putting the lesson in a Box…

3 Lemon Laws
1. Breaking Out Of Comfort Zones
2. Developing Your Self-Concept
3. Good Times!

Extract The Good:

Your can improve your self-concept,
break out of your comfort-zone
and enjoy good times.

“When Life Hands You Lemons

Make Lemonade!”

102 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
When Life Hands You Lemons
Make Lemonade!

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 103

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

104 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets

Blood, Sweat, and Cheers!

“You don’t have to be a fantastic hero to do certain

things - to compete. The intense effort, the giving of
everything you’ve got, is a very pleasant bonus.”
– Anonymous
I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

106 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 13


“A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams."
–John Barrymore

IT’S TIME FOR YOUR PROMOTION! Because you are still reading I
predict your promotion and success. Why? Remember that approxi-
mately 10% of books purchased in America are not read beyond the
first chapter, and you are still reading. That’s exceptional.
PROMOTION, how sweet it is! Joseph was finally promoted from
the prison to the palace. The palace is the place of promotion. An
example would be a new high-paying position at work, or starting
your own successful company. It could be winning a political office or
even gaining your college degree. “We all like promotion.”

Business Unusual
Promotion sometimes comes when you least expect it. You go
through the blood, sweat and tears, and all of sudden. . . CHEERS! The
reason for this is because, in the invisible unseen world, you are
moving closer to your day of promotion, as long as you keep the right
mental and spiritual attitude, whether you feel like it or not. If you
engage in consistent action, and think and speak positively, you are
getting closer to promotion every second that you live.

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The day that Joseph was promoted was probably just “business
as usual.” I don’t think that he woke up thinking, “today is the day that
Pharaoh will call on me to come out of this dungeon and give him
strategic wisdom for the future of Egypt because of my tactical acuity.
I better get my new suit, white shirt and red power tie out of the
cleaners. It’s show-time baby!” No, it was just another day in jail.
Cleaning up, killing rats, breaking up fights, and wondering what
those dreams of years gone by meant and how they would come to
pass. I bet the dream had started to fade by now, but it never died.

Crim & All, I’m Going Up!

As the story goes; Pharaoh had some dreams that were bugging
him. One of his officials who had done some jail time told him about
Joseph’s ability in accurately interpreting his dream when Pharaoh
had thrown him in prison. Pharaoh at once sent for Joseph. They
brought him in on the run from the jail cell. He cut his hair, shaved,
put on clean clothes, and came to Pharaoh the most powerful man in
the world.
“I dreamed a dream," Pharaoh told Joseph. “Nobody can interpret
it. But I’ve heard that just by hearing a dream you can interpret it."
(Joseph is thinking to himself, really???)
Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “In my dream I was standing on the
bank of the Nile. Seven cows, shimmering with health, came up out
of the river and grazed on the marsh grass. On their heels seven more
cows, all skin and bones, came up. I’ve never seen uglier cows
anywhere in Egypt. Then the seven skinny, ugly cows ate up the first
seven healthy cows. But you couldn’t tell by looking—after eating

108 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
them up they were just as skinny and ugly as before. Then I woke up.”
Pharaoh continued, “In my second dream I saw seven ears of
grain, full-bodied and lush, growing out of a single stalk, and right
behind them, seven other ears, shriveled, thin, and dried out by the
east wind. And the thin ears swallowed up the full ears. I’ve told all
this to the magicians but they can’t figure it out."

Piece of Cake
Joseph thought, it’s a piece of piece of cake; couldn’t you come
up with something hard to do?
Then he said to Pharaoh, “Your two dreams both mean the same
thing. The seven healthy cows are seven years and the seven healthy
ears of grain are seven years—they’re the same dream. The seven sick
and ugly cows that followed them up are seven years and the seven
scrawny ears of grain dried out by the east wind are the same—seven
years of famine.”
Joseph continued, “The meaning is this: Seven years of plenty are
on their way throughout Egypt, but on their heels will come seven
years of famine, leaving no trace of the Egyptian plenty. As the country
is emptied by famine, there won’t be even a scrap left of the previous
plenty—the famine will be total. The fact that you dreamed the same
dream twice emphasizes the urgency of the matter. This will happen
So, Pharaoh, “you need to look for a wise and experienced man
and put him in charge of the country,” as Joseph clears his throat and
says, “hint, hint”….

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You’re The Man!
Then Joseph said, “You need to appoint managers throughout the
country of Egypt to organize it during the years of plenty. Their job will
be to collect all the food produced in the good years ahead and
stockpile the grain under your authority, storing it in the towns for
food. This grain will be held back to be used later during the seven
years of famine that are coming on Egypt. This way the country won’t
be devastated by the famine."
This seemed like a good idea to Pharaoh and his officials. Then
Pharaoh asked his officials, “Isn’t this the man we need? Are we going
to find anyone else like this?"
So Pharaoh said to Joseph, “You’re the man for us. You have the
inside story—no one is as qualified as you in experience and wisdom.
From now on, you’re in charge of my affairs; all my people will report
to you. Only as king will I be over you."
So Pharaoh commissioned Joseph: “I’m putting you in charge of
the entire country of Egypt." Then Pharaoh removed his signet ring
from his finger and slipped it on Joseph’s hand. WOW! That’s no
lemon! He outfitted Joseph in robes (…not another coat! @#&*…
remember Potiphar’s wife) of the best linen, and put a gold chain
around his neck. He put the second-in-command chariot at his
disposal, and as Joseph rode people shouted “Bravo!" Joseph was in
charge of the entire country of Egypt.

Are you starting to feel like you are running out of time for your
dream to be fulfilled? Do you feel like you have messed up, missed
your opportunity, passed the flower of youth in life? Remember,

110 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
promotion often comes to you when you least expect it. I encourage
you to stay motivated and to keep on dreaming. Your dream that has
started to fade can be re-energized and come to pass when least
expected! It’s transition time, BRAVO!
Remember, Joseph came out with a sound mind and so can you.
So long to insanity!

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I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

112 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 14

“Leadership Is The Force That Selects Your Dreams;
The Force That Sets Your Goals.
The Force That Shapes Your Life…!”
–Robert Schuller

Self-Leadership is the Force that Shapes Your life. Self-Leadership

is a critical part of happiness. It is a result of knowing where you are
going in life. Self Leaders are self-directed. They have overcome the
coward’s mentality of conformity to the crowd. Do you know where
you are going? To be happy, be healthy and feel terrific, and to stay
happy, you must know where you are going or develop a sense of

The Gift of The Goose

I love to see Canadian geese fly. They often fly in a V formation,
which is aerodynamically effective. Occasionally, they change leaders
to keep the energy flowing in the flock, due to the
wind resistance or what is technically called co-
efficient of drag. In plain English, it’s simply wind
resistance. The thing most people fail to understand
about the geese is the concept of self-leadership. They are self-led by

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 113

instinct. They know intuitively where to go, when to change leaders
and when to honk, which is cheering the flock on as Ken Blanchard
has said in his excellent book Gung Ho!

Leading Yourself
Humans should be smarter than geese, wouldn’t you agree?
Self-leadership is a must in life and a critical factor in personal
happiness. How happy would you be if you were continually neglect-
ing your dreams and vision to pacify others? I think you see my point.
Self-leadership starts with knowing where you are going and leading
yourself. I like this quote and I have found it to be true:

The World Steps Aside For The Person

Who Knows Where He Is Going…!

A Lesson From Alice

So many unhappy people today are like Alice in Wonderland.
They live their life in wonderment with no clear decision to go in a
certain direction. In essence, they have poor self-leadership.

Self-Leadership In Management
It is tough when you have a job working for a management that
lives in wonderland. The problem is rooted in a lack of self-leadership.
I heard a story recently that illustrates this. Here it is:
A man in a hot-air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced
altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more
and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend
I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

114 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
The woman replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and
41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees

“You must be in Information Technology,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, everything you told me is

technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your
information and the fact is, I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not
been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”

The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or
where you’re going. You have risen to where you are, due to a
large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no
idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve
your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position
you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”

I think that Alice in Wonderland embodies one of the best lessons

in self-leadership one can learn. This illustrates the concept:
“Cheshire-Puss, would you tell me please, which way I ought to
go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the
“I don’t much care where”, said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go”, said the Cat.”

The moral of the story: “If you don’t know where you are going, any
road will take you there.”

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 115

One of my LEADERSHIP heroes is a man from a small town
called Seward, Alaska. His name is Mr. Dale Lindsey! Dale and his
wonderful wife, Carol, are great team, and a breath of fresh air to
many. They are contributing greatly by visionary leadership and
effective management, employing many in the great State of
Alaska through Petro Marine Services and their other enterprises.
Dale helped me to discover my potential while visiting their home
once, when they had us as guests while doing a speaking engage-
ment. Dale said: Bernard…you are the ultimate diplomat! I
have since been told that in various ways by several wealthy
people. Carol is the CEO of the enterprise, yet she frequently
prepares sumptuous Alaskan meals for personal and corporate
guests in their wonderful home. My wife and I have been such
guests. Thanks Dale and Carol for your lesson in self-discovery.

Self-Leadership Means Right Direction

Now, I will share with you a directional strategy that will result in
self leadership and consequent happiness and fulfillment. These six
simple steps are sure to help you exit any pit or prison and know
where to go. I want to call these steps to moving in the direction of
your dream. Like Joseph, once you have a dream, establishing where
you want to go in pursuit of your dream is vital.
Following are some seven steps to take to move in the direction
of your dream:

116 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
1. Make the commitment that you are going live your dream.

2. Commit yourself to daily detailed accountability.

Small daily goal = big long range ones.

3. Break your goal into small pieces.

The law of accumulation – “everything counts”

4. Get in shape physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Spiritual health = peace of mind.

5. Make your liabilities your assets.

6. Learn to respond to disappointment.

Someone will drop the ball.

7. Realize you can’t please everyone!

You Can’t Please Everyone!

Finally, you will never operate in effective Self-Leadership if you
try to please everyone. People who allow peer pressure and the
pressure of pop culture to control their decisions will never be happy.
You start to grow up when you realize that you can’t please everyone.
I want to close this chapter with a story that illustrates this. Just
remember as you read it, IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY, you can’t
please everyone! I have found that effective leaders are visionaries
with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds
against them. They make the impossible happen regardless of what
others think of them.
One of the most powerful things you will ever learn is that “your
happiness” does not depend on you pleasing everyone. That’s not
practical, nor is it possible. Even if you could please everyone, you still
would not be happy.

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Yes, it is a happy day when you accept the fact that you can’t
please everyone and get on with living your life. A friend gave me this
poem that illustrates that you can’t please everyone. Read it and

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy
rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went
along, they passed some people who remarked that it was a
shame that the old man was walking and the boy was riding the
donkey. The man and the boy thought maybe the critics were
right, so they changed positions. Later they passed some
people who remarked, what a shame that the old man makes
the little boy walk. So they decided they both would walk. Soon
they passed by some people who thought they were stupid to
walk when they had a perfectly healthy and decent donkey to
ride. So they both rode the donkey. Now they passed by people
who shamed them for putting such a burden on the donkey. The
boy and the man said they were probably right, so they decided
to carry the donkey. As they crossed an extended bridge they
lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and

The moral of the story…? If you try to please everyone, you might
as well kiss your “jack-ass” good-bye!

118 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 15


“Every great man, every successful man, no matter
what the field of endeavor, has known the magic
that lies in these words: every adversity has the seed
of an equivalent or greater benefit.”
–W. Clement Stone

I LOVE PALACES! The word palace means fortress, citadel, strong-

hold, refuge, place of safety. In life, it is when you have learned your
purpose, gone through the pit and the prison, allowed the challenges
to develop your self-concept for promotion and built positive mental
and spiritual strongholds. You have found your safe haven. Life in the
palace is good! I mean, terrific!


Dr. Ken Blanchard, co-author of The One Minute Manager is
the number one business author in America and my friend. Dr.
Blanchard is my management and leadership mentor. Ken taught
me that: “It’s OK to toot your own horn once in a while as long
as you don’t become arrogant.”

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Even the Apostle Paul said, “Bear with me in my folly while I
boast a little”.

My Testimony
To preface this episode I want to share what Ben Franklin has so
BUNDLE. “ I promise that I am not wrapped in myself, so let’s give it
a go. In this episode I want to toot my own horn a little to show you
the lemonade principle at work in my own experience.
My journey has been one of Blood, Sweat and Cheers! Let me
explain: I left an established fruitful lifestyle in Anchorage, Alaska,
where I was on TV 6 days a week with my broadcast called “Winning
Lifestyles with Bernard Smalls,” to move to Atlanta. I was also the
owner of a radio station (the first and only black to ever own a radio
station in Alaska, “toot – toot “☺)
Man, I did not expect the level of blood, sweat and tears I would
go through in Atlanta. Everything went wrong. Life had handed me
lemons, to say the least. After selling advertising, cars, my jewelry☺
(some of that Alaskan gold came in handy then; it often meant food
and gasoline) and whatever else I could to survive financially, I felt like
I was in the pit! (In the hot Georgia summers, selling cars).
After several tough years that seemed like an eternity, I had a
welcomed turn of events in life. But I went through blood and sweat
to get to cheers. You must go through the blood and the sweat to get
to the CHEERS! Sunshine always follows the rain, light always follows
darkness, spring follows winter, CHEERS often follows adversity! The
Palace follows the pit and the prison!

120 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Here is how I remember the turn of events. My younger brother,
Jerome, is a great guy, and a VP with a major retail chain. During his
professional career he developed a relationship with the best-selling
business author of The One-Minute Manager, Dr. Ken Blanchard.
Jerome ran into Ken in the Chicago airport, and during the course
of conversation, Jerome told him that he had a brother (who was
starving–just kidding) in Atlanta, who was a public speaker and trainer.
I was not starving at this time, but I was definitely leading a life of
quiet desperation, as Thoreau speaks of. Life had kicked me in the
seat of the pants and I was miserable! I felt like I was stuck!


My younger brother Jerome is a Vice President with a major
retail chain. He definitely made lemonade in his upwardly mobile
journey. Jerome has said that two of the most powerful words in
the English language are the words, “I need…” He started out as
an inventory clerk and now he is an executive VP and one of the
highest paid officers with a major corporation in their Boston
corporate headquarters. Cheers to Jerome!

…Before Great Men

I received a wonderful letter from Dr. Blanchard inviting me to be
a part of a special event, the inaugural Atlanta FaithWalk Leadership
seminar for corporate and business leaders at the Ritz Carlton-Atlanta
and the Chic-fil-a corporate headquarters. WOW…CHEERS!!!

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 121

At the leadership conference in Atlanta I found myself surrounded
with corporate giants. I was in the same room and eating (and at the
same table) with S. Truett Cathy, the founder and owner of Chic-fil-A;
Horst Schultz, the former President and C.O.O. of Ritz Carlton Hotels;
Dr. Ken Blanchard; and, by the way, the president of a little company
named Coca-Cola®. I had moved into a new circle of associates. A
man’s gift makes room...brings him before great men.
At the end of the three-day leadership seminar, Ken Blanchard
invited me to his room at about 6:30 one morning, before the day’s
breakfast and workshops. He interviewed me, and he asked me to
become a Consulting Resource Partner with his company (one of only
40 in the world at the time). I was invited to San Diego for three
weeks of training and mentoring at his expense, which I thankfully
accepted. I was privileged to receive mentoring from Ken himself,
often as we sat out on the deck overlooking beautiful Escondido in
San Diego, California.

Endorsements From The Experts

Ken Blanchard gave me a wonderful endorsement on my best-
selling book entitled, Thank God it’s Sunday – The Gospel of Customer
Service! (Preview it at
Mr. Blanchard’s endorsement opened the door to several key
endorsements for TGI Sunday, by other experts in the business world.
Mentioning these endorsements is not to brag, but to testify and share
positive proof of taking lemons and making lemonade.
Looking back on my life, my first “training” job in the automotive
business was washing cars for Alaska Sales & Service, Alaska’s number

122 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
one GM dealership. Many years have gone by, but I learned customer
service from city manager Court Marchant, who practiced Raving Fan
customer service long before I met Dr. Ken Blanchard.
I have since enjoyed a comfortable income as a corporate trainer
and author. The way I see it, my flagship bestselling book, Thank God
It’s Sunday! – The Gospel of Customer Service was birthed out of the
lemons of washing cars in Alaska, where I learned the basics of
customer service. Clean cars delivered on time meant excellent
customer service.


“In Thank God It’s Sunday, Bernard Smalls delivers the good
news that a serving heart is the key to prosperity. This
uplifting parable—based on a true account of a wildly
successful car dealership—shows that profit is the applause
we get for taking care of our customers.”
—Ken Blanchard
co-author of The One Minute Manager and Raving Fans

“So many books are related to special systems to make

production and profits in a mechanized way that suits and
empowers the corporation. This new book of O. Bernard
Smalls focuses in on the only real way of having business
permanence: the customer. It is the customer that keeps a
business alive, it is the customer that creates employment
and it is the customer that is the only way to make a profit.
‘Wake up corporations and appreciate and thank God for
the customer’.”
—Peter J. Daniels
Best Selling Author, Millionaire Real Estate Developer,
Australia’s Top Motivational Speaker

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 123

“This brilliant book is like a hot cup of Java on a cold night.
You will treasure it as I have and want to buy many copies
to give to those you love. I highly recommend it."
—Dottie Walters, CSP Author Speak and Grow Rich,
President/CEO, Walters International Speakers Bureau

Moving Forward With Toyota

One lesson that will serve you well if you embrace the core
concept is: “Adversity produces opportunity.” You could say it takes
lemons to make lemonade. What lemons or adversity are you faced
with as you read? Don’t throw in the towel! You are a winner not a
loser! Look up! Get up! And MOVE FORWARD to success. Determine
to make some good lemonade! I’ve done it.
Through becoming a Blanchard resource trainer, I eventually
became corporate trainer for the SOUTHEAST Automotive Group and
Toyota Mall, a state of the art, prototype Toyota dealership. At Toyota
Mall, we made automotive history by becoming the first Toyota deal-
ership in history to win all ten (10) Toyota Excellence Awards in the
first year of business, including the prestigious President’s Award,
which we have now won five years in a row, and which I consider an
exploit, because it has never been done in the history of the world.
Believe it or not, that was not easy. Blood, sweat and many kicks in
the seat of the pants produced CHEERS!
Toyota Mall chairman/owner, John Williams, is an effective leader,
businessman and an outstanding individual, who has certainly made
lemonade at both SOUTHEAST automotive group and Toyota Mall by
following his mentor Mr. Jim Moran.

124 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Great Men Will Do Small Things
S. Truett Cathy, the owner of Chic-fil-a, has definitely made lem-
onade out of lemons in both his business life and in his wonderful
restaurants. Chic-fil-a has some out the best lemonade out there . . .
just go to one of their locations . . . the proof is in the pudding.
I will never forget how I met Mr. Cathy. It has certainly marked my
consciousness as it relates to great men doing small things. I had just
met Ken Blanchard for the first time at the Atlanta Airport Sheraton
and we were about to go to the Ritz Carlton-Atlanta for a FaithWalk
Leadership kick-off to a convention. Little did I know that Dan Cathy,
the President of Chic-Fil-A and son of Mr. S. Truett Cathy, would be
picking us up. The long white Chic-fil-a van pulled up; we all started
to get in, and Ken Blanchard introduced me to the driver who was
Dan Cathy. Dan was very personal and polite as we loaded up and
headed to East-Point Georgia.
My first thought was, where in the world are we going, the Ritz
is downtown? Well we pulled up to the oldest Chic-Fil-A in the world,
which is called the Dwarf House and a vibrant bald man came nearly
running toward the van. It was Mr. S. Truett Cathy. Talk about shock
and awe! I just thought about the proverb; a man’s gift…brings him
before great men. But this great man was different. He was dressed
in a dark conservative suit with a tie, and his pockets were filled with
cows that had the saying “eat more chicken” on them. As soon as he
got into the van, he greeted us, shook my hand, and gave me a cow.
Here you have one of the 400 wealthiest men in America who is
a legend in his own time and he is promoting his business by handing

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 125

out cows to everyone he meets. To me that depicts a great man doing
a small thing. I will never forget it. For the rest of the evening my eyes
were glued to this man of great humility. He talked to me like a family
member or a peer that he had known forever.


I met Mr. S. Truett Cathy, the owner of Chic-fil-A, in one of his
company vans on our way to the Ritz Carlton-Atlanta. The lesson I
learned from him was humility. Great men will do small things.
Mr. Cathy climbed into the vehicle and immediately started pulling
Chic-fil-A “eat more chicken” cows out of his pockets and giving
them to everyone in the van, including Dr. Ken Blanchard. Mr.
Cathy also graciously hosted the three-day FaithWalk Leadership
seminar at his awesome corporate headquarters which included a
Chic-fil-A lunch on the house. Thank you Mr. Cathy!

Mr. Cathy is the mold for what I call the spiritual entrepreneur. An
excellent example of spiritual pragmatism, he is diligent, focused, suc-
cessful, extremely generous and happy. He seems to have a continual
smile that makes you think he knows something that you don’t.

The Ultimate Lemonade Recipe

So you want to go to the palace huh? It demands that you
become excellent at making lemonade. Here is the best recipe or
process that I shared with you in the beginning of this book that I
have found for taking the lemons of life and making them aide me to

126 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
a happier sweeter life. This secret recipe is hazardous to mediocrity!
But you must remember to stir vigorously!




S Simplicity – See the big picture, the dream, and keep it simple.
U Utilization – Use all of the ability you have
C Conviction – Stand for something, or fall for anything
C Change – Only in change is security to be found
E Execution – Do it now! Goals demand action
S Service – The path to true greatness
S Strategy – Chance favors the prepared mind

DIRECTIONS: Determine your purpose, avoid the pits or pitfalls, stay

free from prisons while you carefully and diligently pour in the 7
ingredients for sweet success. Stir vigorously and soon you will be
enjoying promotions, palaces and sweet prosperity.

Things Are Not Always What They Seem

I want to share a story that was shared with me by a friend and
colleague. I hope it has the positive encouraging impact on you that
it had on me. When everything seems to be going wrong, I want you
to recall and draw strength from this little story. The lesson is evident:
things are not always what they seem.


Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of
a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the
angels stay in the mansion’s guest room. Instead, the angels

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 127

were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made
their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall
and repaired it.

When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor,
but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little
food they had, the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where
they could have a good night’s rest. When the sun came up, the
next morning the angel found the farmer and his wife in tears.
Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay
dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel
“How could you have let this happen? The first man had every-
thing, yet you helped him,” he accused. “The second family had
little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow

replied. “When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I
noticed that there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since
the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share
his good fortune, I sealed the hole so he wouldn’t find it. Then,
last night as we slept in the farmer’s bed, the angel of death
came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. “THINGS ARE NOT

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don’t

turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need
to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You
might not know until sometime later… “THINGS ARE NOT

128 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Happiness Begins!
We have come to the end of this book. Today, we live in a world
threatened by terrorism, war, poverty, loneliness and fear. Even in
these challenging times, you can find your own Garden of Eden and
Be Happy, Be Healthy and Feel Terrific. It is the Divine Purpose and
intent that you prosper and live in health even as your soul prospers.
That’s supreme happiness!
I want to leave this affirmation with you to keep you in the
character-building days that are yet to come. Make this affirmation
every day when you wake up and just before you go to sleep at night,
no matter what your circumstance, and your days of unhappiness will
be a thing of the past:

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 129

Putting the lesson in a Box…

3 Lemon Laws
1. Time For Promotion
2. Self-Leadership
3. Blood, Sweat & Cheers!

Extract The Good:

When life hands you lemons remember:
Purpose leads to pits, Pits to prisons,
Prisons to promotion and Promotion to your
sweet place – THE PALACE!

“When Life Hands You Lemons

Make Lemonade!”

130 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets

5 Be Happy…! Lemonade Recipes


Here are five excellent “Be Happy” lemonade recipes that you can
enjoy while reading each of the five episodes. Try these recipes,
relax and enjoy the process.

Classic Lemonade
Lemons, sugar and water. A very simple lemonade recipe, and
yet so refreshing.
• 6 lemons
• 6 cups cold water
• 1 cup sugar
PREPARATION: Juice your lemons, and you should get about 1 cup
of juice. In a large pitcher, mix juice, water and sugar. Stir lemonade
well and serve over ice.

Pink Lemonade
• 2 cups sugar
• 9 cups water
• 2 cups lemon juice
• 1 cup cranberry juice
PREPARATION: Mix everything in a pitcher and stir until dissolved.
Serve lemonade over ice.

Lemonade Recipe Reference:

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 131

Green Apple Lemonade
• 3 green apples, peeled and cored
• Juice from 2 lemons
• 1 tbs sugar
• 1 cup cold water
PREPARATION: Use a juicer to extract the juice from the green
apples (Granny Smith are excellent). Combine apple and lemon
juice, sugar and water. Stir well. Serve lemonade over ice. Serves 2

Ginger Lemonade
Fresh ginger gives traditional lemonade a new flavor.
• 4 cups lemon juice
• 4 quarts water
• 3 cups sugar
• 14 slices of fresh ginger
PREPARATION: Heat water, sugar and ginger root together until
boiling. Remove from heat and stir in lemon juice. Let it sit and cool
for 20 minutes or so, then remove the ginger root. Chill lemonade
before serving.

Lavender Lemonade
If you like the floral taste of lavender, then this herbal lemonade
recipe is for you.
• 2 1/2 cups water
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 1/4 cup lavender leaves, chopped
• 2 1/2 cups water
• 1 cup lemon juice
• Ice cubes
PREPARATION: First, heat the first measures of water and sugar
to a boil until the sugar dissolves. Add lavender and let mixture
cool to room temperature. Strain out the lavender. In a pitcher,
add lavender infusion to second measure of water and lemon.

132 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets

W. Clement Stone
Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude

Ken Blanchard
Raving Fans, Gung Ho! Big Bucks!

Bernard Smalls
How to Set and Reach Your Goals
Thank God it’s Sunday! The Gospel of Customer Service

Robert Kiyosaki
Rich Dad Poor Dad

Dale Carnegie
How to Win Friends and Influence People

Frank Bettger
How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling

Peter J. Daniels
How to Reach your life Goals
How to Stay Motivated All The Time
How to Handle A Major Crisis

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 133

I Feel Happy!
I Feel Healthy!
I Feel Terrific!

134 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
O. Bernard Smalls
Bernard Smalls is the CSO (chief service officer) of

The Mission Statement of O. Bernard Smalls Companies is:

“Excellence, Effectiveness and Exploits
through People, Productivity and Profits.”

Mr. Smalls is also a consulting resource partner with the Ken Blanchard
Companies. Ken Blanchard is the co-author of one of the best selling business
books of all times, The One Minute Manager. Bernard has worked as the
corporate trainer for TOYOTA MALL which made history by winning all ten service
excellence awards in the first year of business, including the prestigious
President’s award. Bernard holds a bachelor degree in Philosophy of Theology.
Mr. Smalls’ main focus in the marketplace is on customer service, which he calls
spiritual pragmatism. He affirms that service is a spiritual principle that will
produce great economic results for any organization, profit or non-profit.

Bernard’s past clients include:

New York Life
The United States Bankruptcy Courts
Job Corps of America
Bootstraps of America
AllTel Communications
American Society of Training and Development
Group One Automotive, Toyota, Nissan
Gwinnett Technical College
Morris Brown College
New Birth Missionary Baptist Church
World Changers Church International
and more...

Business experts Dr. Blanchard, Dottie Walters, and Peter J. Daniels the Australian
millionaire real estate developer, and David Martin of New York Life Insurance
Companies have all personally endorsed Bernard’s first book entitled, Thank God
It’s Sunday! - The Gospel of Customer Service, confirming his impact in the

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific – THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE ©2006 135

Contact Information


P.O. Box 1359
Suwanee, GA, 30024
Business phone: 678.794.9027

To order additional copies

and other books by Bernard Smalls visit:

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