Dear Superbowl Tourist, Welcome to New Orleans. We’re very glad you came to visit.

We love showing off our beautiful city. But while you wander our safe, freshly paved, well lit streets, please be aware of we’ve been dealing with the past few months. Neighborhoods that have been begging for streetlights for years, have been overlooked as every light in the Quarter was fixed. Some of us can’t drive down our own streets because the pot holes are so bad, but all the streets you’ll walk on will have brand new sidewalks. Instead of clearing overgrown trash strewn lots, our Mayor spent $10,000 each on nonnative trees that will probably die within a few years, so that you would have something nice to look at. Our streets have been shut down, our public parks and right of ways closed to us, so that multinational corporations can plaster logos on everything and sell you trinkets. Our most sacred tradition, Carnival, has been rescheduled at great cost and inconvenience so that you would have a cop on every corner to make you feel safe. Some of the Krewes (parading organizations) have lost thousands of dollars. Our taxicab drivers have spent days and thousands of dollars each waiting on line to upgrade their cabs, with a months notice, just for you. Our daily commutes have been disrupted, to build a streetcar line that most of us will never use, but will be more convenient for you. We don’t mind being good hosts. We’re known for throwing the best parties. But what will be a few days of fun for you, is the culmination of months of inconvenience and indignities for us. So have fun. Tell everyone back home what a great city New Orleans is. But tip your waitress extra. Say thank you to every local you meet. Give a few dollars to a street performer. And please don’t pee on any historic buildings.

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